/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

Currently at Radio Ernstiwan:

Hail Odin! by Christenklatscher666


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No. 51735 Systemkontra
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Hand in your papers... I mean blogposts
No. 51736
Gonna spend the first Saint Valentine's day with a girl. Things really aren't the same since the winds of plague blew across old Europe.
No. 51737
Congrats, friend.

I will sulk all night on imageboards like every February 14th the past 12 years.
No. 51738
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Will you two "celebrate"? I think this day should not be for spending money, I always found it odd and when I had gf, we both agreed there is no need to celebrate. My brother is the opposite. Well I guess I should have made small gifts once in a while instead only on birthdays, something to show you cherish a person. Doesn't has to be expensive, it's about the gesture.
Maybe I will meet up with a girl, accidently met her today we talked a bit, last time we saw each other was when we first met and then she said I should visit her some time in CITY X. Well, I felt depressive and didn't do it but now I want to, just to do something, it might have date character then, I don't know, I just know I like her eyes, her hair and her style and that she is interested in stuff. Don't know today I was asking myself why I currently have a hard time showing actual interest, I mean I'd be curious, but I don't wanna ask, I just wanna listen, anyone getting what I'm saying? Like I want to just wanna cuddle and hear her talk while giving responses every now and then.
No. 51739
So Valentine's Day has also reached Portugal? I personally don't like all the americanized bullshit that's seemingly mandatory that day, also why the fuck do people already start raving about it a week before (at least on the kankerchannel), like it was eastern or christmas or anything?

That said, I am glad my current gf doesn't care about that day either. On the other hand, there is really no reason for us to have a "special day", because I already am pretty romantic and appreciative in our everyday life.
If I had a woman who insisted on Valentine's Day, I would insist on Schnitzel & Blowjob Tag.
No. 51740
I remember going out clubbing on Valentine's day, it is the easiest day of the year to get laid because all single women used to go out for it and want some ''Romance'' aka benis

Those days of socialising in pubs and clubs are gone now though, we just wear mask and self isolate and self flagellate
No. 51742
Used to make loadsamoney this time of year because of all the slobs spending all their money on dates and giving me plenty of shift time over the day.
No. 51743
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If helps, I was in same's.

>Will you two "celebrate"?
We will rent a place in a pretty part of town and stay there for the weekend. I'd make fun of going to a romantic restaurant or all the jazz, but I wish such things were available. Simpler times.

>I mean I'd be curious, but I don't wanna ask, I just wanna listen, anyone getting what I'm saying? Like I want to just wanna cuddle and hear her talk while giving responses every now and then.
Get a few questions in and she will carry the conversation.
No. 51745
>Get a few questions in and she will carry the conversation.

Or just remarks to go on about. I had this
But we don't really know each other, so there is no cuddling and all that. Ofc you can ask question, I remember the last successful date, I had many questions, but atm I feel like I don't know what to ask, or I feel stupid again for asking question that seem a bit off. Depressive mind I guess. I mean its bearable, really, but could be better. I asked her some question ofc, I'm not a complete social retard anymore. No need to provide details. She said she is going a bit crazy, not doing much due to corona. I feel like I concentrate too much on her just because we talked again today, the accident we met by is really an accident of unknown propabilities. But there is something about her. But we did not really talk about odd things, but I like that. That is what I mean by just listening, I don't have to break the ice with typical questions but with talks about things that seem off the usual grid, that is what is interesting. There is actually much to ask but the thing is I don't feel like what to ask, I feel it's too much to ask what I might want to know. Or maybe I really am not interested but I think then I really bullshit myself. Why do questions are used as indicator for interest? I would be happy just to have her talk about whatever she likes and to jump on that if something comes along.
No. 51746
I’ll do pen and paper rpg with my single frens on the 14th of February.
No. 51747
Trying out new medications is starting to take a toll on me.
A lot of times they have unpleasant side effects, in addition to long-ass half-lives, so every time I try out a new one, it's a gamble on whether it does nothing, or makes me suffer for the next 24 hours.
Not to mention the financial toll.

I just want to sleep properly.
No. 51748 Kontra
I don't use social media not because of all the popular and fake people or FOMO, but because too often I see all these pathetic people with like 5 followers or 10 friends screaming into the void through their posts and comments, in a futile attempt to gain some acknowledgement or recognition from the world, and it hits too close to home because I'm just like them.

There's a stark difference between my principles/ideals on what we should strive for, and my beliefs on what the world actually is like. It's an easy cope to vilify or other those who are more fortunate than you in wealth, looks, or whatever, but every such person that I've meet has been a genuinely nice person because their souls weren't burdened with bitterness. "Goodness" is a privilege for those who can afford it. Just like any other positive quality. And that's the most annoying thing of all.

I've read that Tolkien regretted making orcs irredeemable by their very nature, as it contradicted his Catholic beliefs, but whether he wanted to or not, he made an accurate statement. We are born into certain conditions, and our conditions are inseparable from what we are.

Every time a Good Person shows genuine empathy towards me, I want to punch them in the face.

everything I write on the internet is pure works of fiction and don't represent my true beliefs. because I don't have any. being is just a transient process of states and experiences and there's no reason to hold on to any of them.
No. 51749 Kontra
lol I just realized I'm having schizosis again.
why does it not feel immediately familiar and recognizable by this point even when I've gone through it hundreds of times? great mysteries.
No. 51750
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when ur mom thinks ur having a stomach ache

but ur actually having suicidal thoughts caused by psychotic depression
No. 51751 Kontra
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Plot twist: I'm having both
No. 51752 Kontra
ok, it's over
time to go to work
No. 51753
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I cooked dinner for myself tonight and it was fucking shit! Whilst eating my shitty nachos i had a song from the early 2000s band Jimmy eat world and that just ruined the meal even more. I keep fucking myself over by being upset and "nostalgic" about eras passed when i know well and truly i should just be focusing on the now.

I personally blame the 2010s decade, truly a shit heap for my personal life. But ive read before that decades somehow carry over for just a little while in terms of cultural trends, music, etc. It was noticeable with the late 90s/early 00s, and it might just be the same with the 2020s?
No. 51754 Kontra
Don't be sad it's over.
Be glad it happened.
No. 51755
I am strongly considering seeing a therapist, not just for this but other underlining issues too.
No. 51761
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He's not actually a saint...
No. 51765
I am glad that it's over. 10s was truly the 1980s decade, at least for us, just like 00s was 70s, and 90s was 60s. But we back in 60s/90s with the 20s nao. I'd postulate this has something to do with the overarching generational patterns and some things skipping a generation. Even though they also were awful I find myself deeming everyone that came after my grandparents' generation as being more and more loathsome. This 80s nostalgia was the worst. I was born there and it was awful. At least specks of light kept making me think new 90s was right around the corner. Fuck 80s was awful, and so was 10s, and so was 00s. Everything sucked. Maybe this pandemic will be that wonderful kick in the arse to jumpstart a good decade for once. I suspect I would've also liked the late 10s to early 20s in the 20th century. 50s was awful.
No. 51769
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I had a job interview today, I told them I will only do two days a week at most. You die if you work and you go to hell.

I don't want to work but it is necessary for my plans.
No. 51771
Great post, welcome to EC!

Can you stop avatarfagging, though?
No. 51787
>You die if you work and you go to hell.
I hope I have presence of mind enough to say this the next time I quit a job. Honestly the problem isn't work, the problem is working for other men. If I got paid somehow else and otherwise my work was doing personal projects I'd be pretty damn happy. Doing exactly that this spring under lockdown was one of the happiest times in my life lately.
No. 51789

>If I got paid somehow else and otherwise my work was doing personal projects I'd be pretty damn happy.

Yes, I want to buy numerous apartments to rent out and build a large share portfolio to do that but I don't have the money right now.

I only posted Sabre once...
No. 51790
So I think I just figured out what my bucketlist for the summer should be: I'm going to train a crow or crows to bring me shiny trinkets in exchange for food.
No. 51791
All animeshit looks the same, so that makes you an avatarfag every time you post any anime.

Regards, discourse pro.
No. 51792
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If all anime looked the same then it could not be used as an avatar now could it? It could be no more an avatar than the Ernst title you have.
No. 51793
Not necessarily.
For example. All instances of the word "Gaylord", look exactly the same (+/- font), but if you were the only person on the board consistently putting "Gaylord" in your name field (essentially the same as what you're doing right now), you'd be a namefag.

No. 51794
You are posting on a blog thread in a flag board... You are all Avataring whether you want to or not, particularly you.

And anyway, the only reason one would accuse me of avataring would be because of a lack of other anime posters, it's not the act it's the environment. In the same way there are other boards that could call you an avatar for t posting or saying QED whatever that means. So really what you are complaining about is the fact that somebody on this board is doing a thing you don't like and you want everybody to conform to what you do like. After all, the reason you would attack me in the first place can have nothing to do with avataring, your Kazakh flag itself is an avatar. If you really disliked avataring so much you would use a proxy(or stop using one) and having taken a brief look through the previous today thread any criticism you might have on the notion of avataring itself(regardless of whether I even am or not) is ludicrous, you all know each other and all about the lives of one another anyway.
No. 51795
Don't really got a dog in this argument, couldn't give a shit what people post next to their blog tbh.

That said, QED is shorthand for a Latin phrase that roughly translates as 'proofs as demonstrated'. It's actually pretty common.
No. 51797
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See, you're learning to post without an avatar already.
Keep it up!

Anyway, I wouldn't conflate namefagging or avatarfagging with "circumventing anonymity". I think those are different issues.
I'd more compare it to, in real life terms, someone showing up in full cosplay to a casual meeting. Or at least, wearing a very annoyingly flamboyant hat. Everyone tries to ignore it, but it's still an eyesore, and reveals a character flaw on the part of someone doing it.
The internet equivalent would be those cringy profile pages with ascii art, full backgrounds and a full biography of the user. Like, nobody cares.

The annoyance factor is not the fact of identification being possible, but the extra effort someone puts into identifying themselves. Trying to draw extra attention, or to "stand out" somehow. Trying to "show-off" their personality. Vanity. Also gayness.

___Posted from my Samsung Galaxy S8___
~-|| MENSA member since 2013 ||-~
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” - Rita Mae Brown (THIS QUOTE IS NOT BY ALBERT ENSTEIN STOP SAYING THAT IT IS)

Love (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)
Laugh (◕▽◕✿)
Live (◡‿◡✿)
No. 51798
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Even then, again, you are speaking of the environment not the act. >>51750 would be 'wearing a very annoyingly flamboyant hat' on many other sites, even posting regards in the manner you have would be. So again, it's me posting something that you don't like and you wanting everybody to post like you do that is the issue here. You even say yourself that your problem with it has nothing to do with identification.
No. 51799
Again you fail to see the point.
What you say would be true if I were doing that every time I make a post, whether it is relevant to the subject of the post or not.

I wouldn't mind pictures of homosexual acts being posted in a thread dedicated for this topic, or even in a singular post discussing said topic.
But if someone makes it their "schtick" to post a certain kind of picture every single time, whether it has anything to do with anything, it quickly becomes annoying for everyone involved.

But I am sure you will understand it with time. And I'll be glad to repeat the lesson as many times as needed.
My mom works at a "school for children with development problems", and I've often helped her wrangle the herds, so to say. So I know how to be patient with autistic children.
No. 51800
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No I do see your point perfectly well, you don't like anime and don't want people posting it, you want everybody to be like you. Decorating ones post with anime images is a time honoured tradition, why an imageboard without images may as well be a text board. I think it would do you well to be exposed to it more often, expand your horizons as it were. Maybe then you won't throw a fit and attack people when you see them posting drawings of fully clothed and completely decent and wholesome girls.
No. 51801 Kontra
>Decorating ones post with anime images is a time honoured tradition
Avatarfagging has always been looked down upon, at least on non-anime boards
No. 51802 Kontra
Posting anime images is not avataring.
No. 51804
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>you want everybody to be like you
It would be more accurate to say that I want there to be less people like you. Like, in general.
>time honoured tradition
Time honored by 4kankers and kohltards like you maybe. This board is for serious discussions, not faggotry.
Go to instagram if you want pictures, lmao.
>expand your horizons
Pic related is what "expanding your horizons" by watching anime looks like.
>completely decent
anime is incompatible with the concept of decency.

All animeshit looks the same, so it is.
No. 51806
That's what I am saying... It has nothing to do with avatars.

>This board is for serious discussions, not faggotry.

You are posting in a blog thread. Idiot....

>anime is incompatible with the concept of decency.

How so? This could be a more interesting topic of discussion that what you have previously brought forth.
No. 51807
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>All animeshit looks the same, so it is.
>My mom works at a "school for children with development problems"
A surprisingly narrow-minded opinion from an artist. It seems that while it is true that the posts looked like avatarfagging (probably unintentional), it is also true that you obviously hold a deep disgust of anime, which seems to influence your arguments. Nothing wrong with hating anime, but calling out whole genres and associating them by default with boards that are hated for a reason but also beyond any reason seems not to be the kind of serious discussion you yourself are insisting on what this board is made for.
>Go to instagram if you want pictures, lmao.
I'd ignore that as irony, if the other arguments before also were. But maybe they weren't. Please tell me it still is. Also: Since you are against avatarfagging so outspokenly (which I understand): How do you deal with the fact that you with your flag are so much of an involuntary avatarfag that you feel the constant need to tell people when the rare other brick posts that it's not you or sometimes sign your posts with t. brick when you post under a different flag because mobile device? This looks inconsistent to me, and I didn't even look that hard. Surely that must bother you? Or is it one of those "can't be helped, has always been this way" things?
No. 51808 Kontra
I'm with the kazakh, because I also dislike anime.
No. 51809 Kontra
You are right that brick is influence by his hate for anime, it fuels the argument like nothing else.
Yet the anime attached to the australian flag ,regardless the thread, was noticeable. Since I don't like anime either, it was some sort of itch, I don't have a problem with an anime pic here and there, like hungary did. Besides the Germans and Americans I think most people are avatarfagging by default because of the userbases composition, but there is a nuance that makes a difference, at least to me.

t. occassionally attaching art, weird or historic pictures without macthing the content every time.
No. 51810
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Wish I would know how to make gifs without watermark, reminds me of EC and the Ukrainian some time ago.
No. 51811
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Let me precede my post with a full disclosure. Yeah, I am being a bit inflammatory. But I've found that you have to poke and prod a bit in order to rouse people into actually engaging with you online. It's like that old saying goes."Sometimes, you have to kick the baby to make it cry".
Actually I just made that up lol.

Anyway, regarding art and close mindedness.
I think you need to close your mind to bad things if you are going to open it to good things. Writers read a lot, but they don't read exploitative paperback trash one finds near a metro station flea market. Musicians don't go to boy bands and butt rock for inspiration. And that's only just if we conflate "art" with all media and entertainment and content. Which I don't. As I've expressed before, I don't believe in the "things are all merely different" argument. Some things are categorically different.
Now, related to this is my disagreement on what art (I will only speak of visual art from here on) is about. Many people today, especially on social media and entertainment, seem to think that art is about being "creative" and "making" things. I disagree. To me, the idea of anyone ever "creating" anything is hubris. Art is about curating reality, "extracting" truth from the world, and presenting it to others. So, art is valuable only in so far as it delivers those "truths" or "experiences". 10 million pictures of a superhero punching a bad guy, or a sci fi space marine, or an anime girl in a frilly dress, all deliver the same experience. Therefore, they're all equally worthless. In artistic terms, anyway. Maybe they have some value in terms of "producing content", entertainment, or economic value or whatever, but that don't matter to me personally.
There's also lots of normie rhetoric which equates the value of art with its therapeutic effects, or the socialization / community around it, or the entertainment value of making art itself. Me not care. All of those are tertiary.
I only care about art in so far as looking at it briefly makes me feel more alive compared to staring at a wall. Or less bored at least. And looking at the same idea repeated over and over again in different iterations does the opposite of that. It makes me more bored, which is one of the worst feelings on earth.

Now, that's for the difference between art and "empty" non-art. I also believe in the concept of "anti-art". Something that does the opposite of what art does. As in, being exposed to it makes you a worse person. Shrinks your soul. Brings you closer towards the base and the worldly. That's what I think of anime as a storytelling medium. But we're talking about pictures here, so I won't elaborate further.

Now, I do dislike anime. But only as a proxy for empty entertainment in general. Anime just so happens to be the most "pure", volatile, and unashamed example of such empty entertainment. If the aussie was attaching comic book characters, or video game fan art, or whatever, I'd be having a similar reaction. Maybe a bit more pity and a bit less disgust, lol.

But ALL OF THIS is irrelevant to the point. It's not about anime being garbage, or about explicitly identifying yourself, or whatever. It is about having a volatile personality that "leaks out" in a public space. I don't like it when people "display their personalities" in public when without actual reason. I don't like it when youths play music in public through boomboxes. I don't like it when intrude upon my personal space because they have a """charismatic""" personality. I don't like it when vocalists break out in a vibrato randomly during a friend hangout as if we don't know they sing professionally. I don't like it when people constantly brag or humblebrag about their perceived achievements without being asked. And I don't like it when people plaster their online "identities" with their hobbies during unrelated activities as if anyone gives a shit. It's not about having an identity. It's about having a volatile personality.
To summarize: "That's fascinating, but who tf asked?"

re: my identity as brick
again not relevant to why I dislike faux-avatarfagging, but It actually does annoy me that I'm denied anonymity on this particular imageboard. It denies me certain forms of expression. I actually enjoyed having weird proxy issues on my mobile data and workplace internet, until it started causing confusion. People would explicitly ask me if I'm the brick. I also don't want to create the impression that I'm some other poster from this board (because of a different flag), so I clarify out of common courtesy. Also, the rare times another brick posted, I never clarified whether it was me, because I think the confusion is entertaining.
But as I said, the question of identity is irrelevant. It's the attitude.
No. 51812 Kontra
also, I did say I dislike those things, but I'm not saying he should stop doing it just because I don't like it. that'd be egotistical.
what I'm saying is that things I don't like are also objectively, universally bad, and you're a bad person if you do them
No. 51813
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> Art is about curating reality, "extracting" truth from the world, and presenting it to others. So, art is valuable only in so far as it delivers those "truths" or "experiences".

Hmmm ,yes. I agree, this is a very good description of anime.

>So, art is valuable only in so far as it delivers those "truths" or "experiences". 10 million pictures of a superhero punching a bad guy, or a sci fi space marine, or an anime girl in a frilly dress, all deliver the same experience.

I would not agree here though. There is nothing new under the sun. All art will deliver the same experience that other art has.
No. 51815
>There is nothing new under the sun
Maybe for someone who watches anime lmao
No. 51816
True, we are a worldly lot. Little is new to us.
No. 51817
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>True, we are a worldly lot
Don't forget "disgusting", "pathetic", "pitiful", "laughable", "embarrassing", "ignorant", "obnoxious", "vulgar" and "ostentatious".
No. 51818 Kontra
We weren't talking about you here though.
No. 51819
You know what, you're a good lad. You should hang around here more often. As you can see, we're a very friendly bunch here.

Some of my best friendships started with me coming up to a person, and listing off all the reasons for why I don't like them. Once that tension was over, we could freely communicate knowing where each of us stands, and who is the inferior of the two.

I think it makes social interaction way more convenient, when you can get all the friction out of the way right away, rather than carrying it around for a long time.
No. 51820
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>Some of my best friendships started with me coming up to a person, and listing off all the reasons for why I don't like them
That makes me remember my thoughts when I noticed that concerning most of my friends: If they weren't my friends, I probably wouldn't even like them much, and I assume that also goes the other way around. Sometimes it's just a matter of context how you meet each other for the first time and who else is around. It always feels a little unsettling to acknowledge that huge parts of the own life turned out how they are just because of sheer randomness, since we like to see ourselves in the drivers seats of our own destiny.

Aw, now I feel flattered :D
No. 51821
Tbh, to me, friendships aren't about "liking" the person. They're more about whether you can spend the time with them and have it be entertaining.
Lots of people I like conceptually, I don't have anything to do or talk about with. Either because we agree on things too much, or our interests diverge.

There's this sweet spot between people to have productive interactions, and it's a bit decoupled from whether they conceptually like each other or not.

Marriages probably work very similarly, lol. It's more about being able to live in the same house with someone for 40 years without killing each other, than "love".
No. 51827
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To be fair, I'm pretty sure that just about everyone here hates anime. It isn't just the anime though, but the fact that most weebs end up becoming rather vocal moe shitposters which in turn makes us associate anime with shitposting. I mean, it basically just becomes the online expression of this laptop's existence. Do you think that this computer has ever gotten used to make one single non-shitpost in its entire existence? I think not. And I doubt it has ever been used to watch Ghost in the Shell either for that matter.

On topic, I don't even know what happened to one of my days. I feel like I skipped entirely to Saturday. Which is just sad. Sadder still that I spent the whole last couple days doing nothing at all but watching sciencey youtube videos, bulk of whom are aimed more at mediocre intellects or sub geniuses at best but whatever it's nice just to reinvigorate myself with breadth even of the depth feels about as deep as those wading pools for children. Actually what are they called? Inflatable pool? We actually only had one once and it was for our ducks to play in because if we wanted swimming we'd just go to the lake. I think we had it before the duck pond got dug out. I miss ducks and playing with every farm animal except roosters, the angry manlet rapist cunts.

But anyways yes I suppose I just got to spend half the weekend doing exactly what I spent pretty much the entire time at work fantasizing about which was watching science videos. Most of them seem to advertise brilliant dot org and curiositystream which I suppose I'll check out for some depth. Joe and PBS Spacetime and such really emphasize those two, and it's getting to the point where I'm starting to think I should stop arrogantly turning my nose up at skillshare like it's just some MLM scheme and consider how fast I'm going nowhere in particular with nothing really to lose at this point. Trying to be part of any rate race or accepting pay from another man I've come to agree is the mark of the bydlo and the wasted life. Some rich guy was saying how the biggest lesson his father imparted was no matter what you do, never accept a paycheck. Of course what these bougie cunts also like to never emphasize is the degree to which their fathers and extended families pulled strings and used connections, or otherwise how they came into that capital to begin with however I've realized the best thing I could do should I get even a grand peftover from a jew round of stimulus would be to find either some investments or to use it as a handful of added seed money and capital towards doing some other shit purely with the goal of a trajectory towards making money. I will need to leave my state entirely is something I have to do sooner than later.
No. 51828
That is actually one of the biggest particular reasons I ditched my last wave of friends. I had nothing in common with most of them besides drinking at the same bar and knowing each other for reasons. I didn't even like any of their music, wasn't into their culture, we just didn't have a whole lot in common, and I came to see no matter how drunk I was that some of them managed to offend me even at the event horizon of a blackout how sleezy, amoral, and disloyal so many of them could be and so I promptly liquidated that entire circle and made sure to burn down every bridge I could back there for good measure. Well, those among other reasons, and then I never looked back. I've been entirely satisfied with the decision since then and have realized the next time I try and form a solid social circle it will be conscious and deliberate acts. I'd have to cast a wider net too though, which is part of the problem. I'm keeping everyone else away from me so far as I can help it. I just wish I still had some kind of a frontier and not this shitty and decaying empire but whatever, the truth of the matter is losers will be loser regardless of context, and successful people--truly success oriented not just some twat inheriting money--have drive to victory no matter the context and even had they no access to the tools for success their striving will still leave themselves better off than they had been (usually, some just fall farther) than had they not tried at all (which almost universally leaves those worse off over long enough time scales). It makes me think of people like Michael Franzese, who you just get the impression he'd of succeeded, survived, and adapted regardless of circumstances, whether he was born into mob life or not.

There absolutely is a difference between the mentality of failure of the bydlo, and mentality for success from achievers. Problem is too often people mistake the latter for oligarchs, who literally almost never can fail, are insulated by all failures and claim credit from success of others and blame failures on others also. These are the parasites of the owning class and should not be mimicked because their modus operandi brings immediate failure outside that oligarch insulation where you can poison underwear and walk away like nothing happened.

I mention this because there definitely is some truth behind you are the people that you're around, and you'll drag yourself down.
No. 51834
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I’m really fucking mad
>Have two weeks off after exams
>Classes start and I have homework I have to turn in on time
>”Son we’re going to waste half a day looking at ice at Balaton”
Fuck you.
Of course you fucking proles come up with these genius ideas when I have something I need to get done.
And then they have the guts to call me grumpy.
No. 51835 Kontra
So did you get the homework before the weeks off or not? Because that would kinda change things.
Also, can't you say NO?
No. 51836
Two weeks off is two weeks off. I had no classes, assignments or anything to do other than registering for the courses next semester. (Really, not even that since I registered in advance.)
Homework is fresh off the presses and I need it done by Sunday midnight.

Really, the only issue is that I can’t just copy ~70-80x36 hanzis down in 10 minutes. That takes time. Everything else takes an hour at best and I wouldn’t be mad at all.
Anyway, I’ll be staying up until I get the copying done, then sleep in the car and have an energy drink once I get home.
No. 51838 Kontra
I can’t finish it, my hand hurts too much.
Recounting the rows, it’s more like 140x36 hanzi than 70-80.
No. 51846
108 kB, 800 × 533
I just remembered I had to attempt a 2 weeks mandatory "internship" in school once and the mother of a classmate made it possible that I spent these two weeks in a small consulting firm there were rumors that if you find no internship by your own, you will have to go to a butchers factory. It was the first time I heard about SQL, virtual OS possibilites and I went to McDonalds during lunch which was a 10min walk away. Kinda akward to think about this. Once I accidently slept in my "office room". In retrospect, the bus ride to the office was a daunting and depressive foretast of what to expect from the future.

I will close my post with a defintion of drifting I came across in a short novel I'm reading atm:
>ambition dissipating into the landscape. [...] Drifting is basically, he thought, ti disappear from a certain surface of life: the art of losing puropose.

Say no next time, you are old enough and uni is serious business not suited for surprise family trips in light of deadlines though handling deadlines and workload becomes a bit easier to estimate and handle with time
No. 51856
235 kB, 614 × 410
>writing hanzi by hand
unrelated, but I just remembered how much I hate simplified chinese characters, and once again I want to dig up mao zedong and piss on his corpse

>we went from 漢字 to 汉字
this is what they took from us
No. 51857
This past week there were a few days when I found myself staying at work after hours. And on the weekend I caught myself seriously thinking about work-related stuff several times. I guess wageslavery has finally crushed my soul and I'm pretty much a drone now.
No. 51859 Kontra
331 kB, 792 × 528
I started reading for uni in the early afternoon, 10pm I stopped. Of these hours some are erased from my memory, like I vaguely remember what daylight was like today. I've ofc been indoors. I remember checking EC and doing some stuff inbetween, yet it feels like the day past without me taking note, afternoon seems so long ago, buried already, I cannot really rememorize the day.
No. 51860
2,7 MB, 2592 × 1936
3,1 MB, 2592 × 1936
This section of road has two official posted signs : "Dead End", and "Authorized Vehicles Only". Well, in case that wasn't enough information, this third sign was added last week. Sadly when I saw it today the wind and rain had knocked it down. The cardboard had been strapped to the fence in pic 2 with that bike lock. At least I think it's a bike lock.

You know, the sidewalks in that area are in bad shape, and a few months ago someone patched one with concrete. That guy also left a sign. "Sidewalk repaired by Bubba", or something like that. Now that I think about it, this might have been the same Good Samaritan. I mean, there can't be that many people who post their own signs.
No. 51861
Conclusion for today: Never drink energy drinks.
I feel like shit.

The copying is done but I'm nowhere near close the finishing the grammar exercises.
It's going to look bad if I hand it in late. God fucking damnit.

I can't take sides in the "simplified vs traditional" debate because I feel like I know fuck all about the topic.
Is the image a pun on how Cao Cao's name kinda sounds like the sound a crow makes?
No. 51864
>I can't take sides in the "simplified vs traditional" debate because I feel like I know fuck all about the topic.
It obscures origins and relationships between characters, creates a break with non-reformed systems (Japanese for the most part, but also Classical Chinese), and looks ugly. Moreover, it has little if any practical impact. Students learn all the characters if you have a competent educational system; they don't if your education system sucks. I actually think simplified characters are harder to learn, because the more complex traditional forms tend to be more visually distinctive.

And really, they look fucking ugly. A lot of the simplification procedures involve taking cursive/shorthand rules and applying them to standard print, so everything is shifted in a distinctly chicken scratch-y direction.

But because it was normalized during the period that China modernized and achieved mass literacy, Chinese civilization will be stuck with this abomination forever. Another permanent mark against the CCP, on top of the rest of the cultural destruction they wrought.

Especially if you pronounce it like they did in old Dynasty Warriors games.
No. 51866
The learning point is a bit unfair tbh. It's been less than a century since the simplified characters were introduced. The Latin alphabet in English took centuries to be standardised even within a single version, and we've had at least 3 that I can think of off the top of my head. Can even go to the Futhorc to Latin shift and say how it broke continuity with the other West Germanic languages.

Give Simplified Sinoid the same amount of time, and it'll be every bit as natural, and people will give about as many shits as people do about not having all of the original English letters.
No. 51867
>Conclusion for today: Never drink energy drinks.
I tried energy drinks once when I was pulling an all-nighter. Drank three 0.25l cans of them, but they only kept me awake for maybe a couple of hours and then I started dozing off even harder. I figured that such a small effect for such a big price (especially for a student with a very constrained budget) just isn't worth it. It tasted nice though, kinda like a bubblegum.

Interestingly, coffee doesn't do much for me either. After some experimentation I found to my surprise that sweet carbonated drinks work best for keeping me awake, so for all subsequent all-nighters I bought two liters of cola each time and it carried me through.

>Especially if you pronounce it like they did in old Dynasty Warriors games.
Wasn't it an incorrect pronunciation in the first place? It really grinds my gears when they don't provide pronuciation guides for voice actors. It's even worse when they mispronounce fictional names, like in KotOR, where everybody pronounces Bastila's name as BAS-tila, but Bastila herself pronounces it as Bas-TEE-la. For fuck's sake, would you come to some sort of an agreement?
No. 51880
Energy drinks are a habit learned young, the first few times you can expect jitteriness and heart palpitations. Coffee is similar for the caffeine sensitive, but it is not a ”youth” drink.

I always get this horrible anxiety from the first ES equivalent after a 2 week fast. All-nighters are impossible without a can of es so it is worth the initial discomfort.

Expecting jokes about a Finn being a energy drink connoisseur ,haha.
No. 51881
61 kB, 300 × 266
Caffeine sensitivity and metabolism is genetic. Some feel nothing while others get the famous shaky hands.
No. 51884
Energy drinks are kind of a scam. I had maybe one or two I actually liked just because it gave me mild euphoria for reasons I never discovered (Rockstar one, Amp the other? The rest was just regular jitters). Otherwise you're paying out the ass for regular soda/pop/cokes. Redbull is by far the worst offender at over three bucks a can for caffeine equivalent to less than a strong cup of coffee.

What I personally used and would not recommend was caffeine pills like NoDoz and Vivarin. I also still have my probably 8 years old bag of raw caffeine somewhere. It cost me like two bucks for an ounce of raw caffeine (28g). I'm obviously very much for raw cost/performance over idiotic brand marketing.
No. 51885
Part of the problem with this picture is that many drugs to us evolved in plant life, and often as toxins for pest insects. Obviously nicotine is the most well known, but in a drug like THC or caffeine particularly the theophylines that arose in unrelated plant species I often find this image rather dubious. Do we actually know if caffeine is not poisonous to spiders?
No. 51886
>Wasn't it an incorrect pronunciation in the first place?
Yes, but he will always be Cow Cow to me. Correct pronunciation has no place in Dynasty Warriors.

btw Hungary, if you want to indulge your retro-gaming and sinophile interests at the same time, the early DW games (3-4 especially) are great.
No. 51887
It's exactly that 3-4 hours that we spent visiting the lake that's missing from my life.
I failed to complete the greek assignment. I'm saying this pre-emptively because I'm not staying up until two in the morning translating sentences just to turn in shoddy work.
I'm going to excuse myself and do them a bit later.
There will be other days.

At least the Chinese assignment was completed almost on time. Even got complimented on my handwriting. I don't think I deserve the compliment but it still feels good.
Writing thousands of hanzis kinda made me realise how serious of an art form calligraphy is.
It's interesting how apparently your handwriting says a lot about you.

Went to the optician's to get my eyes checked. Apparently I need an entire dioptre stronger lenses for both of my eyes. For the first time ever I actually heard the weakness of my eyes quantified in a more everyday measurement, because I was told that I see everything sharply only within roughly ~25 centimetres of my eyes.
That's like a quarter metre. That's shorter than the ruler people use to draw.
It'll be nice to have a new pair of glasses. My current one was evidently pretty weak and it's so old that even the paint started coming off the frame in a few places.

For me it kinda depends on the source of caffeine for some reason.
A coffee gives a moderate rush, while tea gives me a sense of clarity.
Really, I drink so much tea I get sleepy when I spend a day without it.
I rarely drink energy drinks but I don't remember ever getting such a rush where I was genuinely concerned whether or not I might pop a blood vessel.
No. 51888
Good taste tbh, DW4 is my favourite in the series. Older Musou games where positioning and combo building were still a rewarded skillset were great. The development of the series is very weird though. Their ideas have gotten significantly more interesting in terms of character movesets, the sandbox take on Empires etc. but their execution is way worse.
No. 51901
I use that image for shock effect, reminding that even the mundane caffeine is a potent psychoactive substance.

I have a bottle of caffeine pills in my cupboard, just because. Not a favorite method to get my fix due to unpleasant gag reflex when swallowing pills.

Energydrinks are the hipster branded drug but I rather keep it as my only moneysink and vice, rather than the ”mature” drink, alcohol. Fancy cocktails and alcohol culture is a much worse than soda manufacturers scamming youth with flashy logos on sugar water with sprinkled in mundane speed.

Though I admit, I don’t look my age/very convincing when waiting for the metro with a Battery drink in hand. A bottle of Koskenkorva would be worse or cigarettes. The ideal would be a simple bottle of water, maybe one day.
No. 51910
That feel when trying to play Deus Ex Mankind Divided and getting distracted by the fact that it's not just my own bad decisions and structural inefficiencies of Capitalism that I'm basically just playing simulators all day to take advantage of things I'd be better suited doing
Does anyone know how to scrounge up the actual .gov email addresses or phone numbers of politicians at their office? After witnessing 2020 firsthand I am never again going to make the mistake of assuming others in positions of power are aware of things that would be basic common sense to me (such as masking) or have the werewithal to synthesize multiple different academic papers for evidence of something.

I'd probably be much better off doing that right now or otherwise something to advance my own personal goals than just retreating into a complete fantasy world in my time off work just because I'm not in any kind of position to do something working policy, intelligence, or city planning and etc. right now. It's frustrating. At least we have somebody who takes climate change seriously to begin with. I will never take it for granted again that anyone in power has any sense of threat awareness or public solutions to problems.
No. 51912
320 kB, 772 × 741
I don't know the dot govs but you can find contact details if you look(at least where Australia is concerned). I have sent a few messages to politicians, my last was my plan to introduce big cats to central Australia to stabilise the ecosystem. Honestly most the time they don't respond though but I have had two responses to things.
No. 51916
1,6 MB, 3500 × 2332
Met a girl from my zoom classes for the first time, I thought she might be quite tall, turns out she is quite small. I wish we would have talked more but because of reasons we only exchanged a few words. I contemplate writing her, just to get to know some people from the new program.
No. 51917
Just do it, what do you have to lose? You're not even hitting on her, just getting to know people from the program, it's the perfect hook.
No. 51921
Took part in extra classes today.
Actually, I feel like I'm doing well. At least in the Chinese classes anyway.
Really, I feel in charge.

Now if the state was so kind to not send me passieve-aggressive letters reminding me about the conditions of my scholarship that would be great.
Very Kafkaesque. You do nothing, yet you receive a threatening legal letter about how things might go wrong and telling you that "We might and we will" take away my scholarship.
I did everything they asked of me, so why the crude reminder?

I've discovered Mieczyslaw Weinberg's music, so I'm listening to his symphonies.
It's good for the soul. Or at least better than the stuff I usually listen to.

Yesterday I fell asleep at five in the afternoon and woke up at eight. Afterwards I felt terrible. For some reason I was in pain, like if I had eaten something bad, and at the same time, as if I had not eaten in days.
Sleeping seems to have fixed it, and I had vivid dreams of having lunch. It was a weird episode.
No. 51931
The spectacle got unsurprisingly cancelled...
I want to see this girl so bad.
No. 51932
Hey X, since the play got cancelled you still want to meet up? I'm so bored with corona and nothing to do, it would be nice to see somebody and talk to.

Also my coward ass has to contact a female being as well for a meetup, she ask me months ago if I might want to vist her and I agreed, got cold feet and meet her again last week and I said "I will visit you" told her I got her number from a mutual friend because last time we did not exchange numbers. The weekend says it will be nice weather but I feel lowkey depressed and my face got fucked by the cold weather...meh. Lets see if there is it better until friday, I think she has not so much to do.
No. 51933 Kontra

>Und, so hast du es gewollt? Nur hier bei mir liegen und Musik hören?
No. 51934
I think the sooner you see her the better it’d be. But I wouldn’t mind more sun either.

I will wait until this weekend before considering writing to her again. This weekend is my birthday and she could very well remember it. We told each other our birthdates at a friend’s birthday.
No. 51935
The weirdest revelation I recently had, was, that I kinda feel sad for all the people who are currently suffering during the lockdown because of social isolation. It's like I've been living like this for years and sort of see the reflection of my own misery.

So I guess I'm sorry that people have to live like me now. Which is, I don't know.

On a related note, haven't been posting here in years (back when it was still under the 'old management'), glad you peeps are still around.
No. 51937
>I kinda feel sad for all the people who are currently suffering during the lockdown because of social isolation.
I don't at all. Not even a tiny bit. But then again, I don't suffer under it but rather enjoyed it.
No. 51954
I didn't have a problem in the beginning, and haven't had lots of problems lately, but I, too, am starting to get cabin fever.
I would love to eat out again, or go to a pub or just meet with friends again and watch a dumb movie or something.
No. 51955
875 kB, 749 × 753
I just want zoomiversity to be over.
Unironically it's ruining my prospects and I'm deathly afraid that no one will ever hire me because I'll have a "covid-degree". Some HR bitch must have though this up already.
No. 51956
Are you the one studying Chinese? You may not get a job out of that anyway. The only real place to use that is in China(which apparently is not a nice place to work in to begin with) and with the way relations are that kind of work might be dying down.
No. 51957
34 kB, 640 × 480
Please don't tell me the truth.
I'm not ready for it yet.
No. 51958 Kontra
What should a "covid degree" entail?
Also, there were enough people finishing school or uni during wartime or shortly after and they still got jobs.
No. 51960
A covid degree in my mind would mean that people would say my degree is less valuable (>inb4 it's a humanities degree so it's already worthless) because online education is less effective and therefore people would think I know less or studied less.
I hope I'm just paranoid and no such thing will happen.
No. 51961 Kontra
I think that's just you being paranoid. In my opinion, I think that pulling through this despite the pandemic is something good.
Also, it's a humanities degree so it's already worthless :-DDDDDDD
No. 51962
I don't really think so, but covid-degree sounds like a valid neologism :DDD wartime degrees like the German Notabitur sound so rough, covid degree sounds like some newsspeakers says it.
What's shit about a covoid degree is the supposed "best years of your life" spent at home instead of roaming the corridors of big buildings, sitting in larger classrooms with people the same age and the outlook on sex and love.
To come back: we are probably having a harder time finding a job in a post-crisis/post corona world (when will that be? :DDD capitalism is also crisis management)

I always thought China might have relations to the outside of its country. Hungary speaks English very well, I guess there is some place in an international enterprise or whatever it is at least, not saying it's a nice job, but knowing chinese and english well and having studied humanities you can quickly learn to be a cognitarian in various fields I guess. A future laywer friend of mine told me that him and me could do HR, everyone can do HR, you don't need to study business to do the tasks HR does. Organizing things, being a little cog in organizing machines can be done by a lot of people, there is no special degree for many jobs these days, I don't know, if you know that already.
No. 51963
78 kB, 1024 × 749
Also it seems like by accident I made up a neologism myself, the covoid :DDDDD
No. 51964 Kontra
Also I want to add: Nobody cares, aslong as you seem suitable for the job and this is not determined by your grades alone but mostly your personality, your way with words and showing off motivation (which also means getting relevant experience, internships etc. that show you how the working world is like and that make you learn how humanities jobs are like in order to be prepared for other jobs)
No. 51965
By the way, did you have some sort of plan what are you gonna do after the uni when you were applying for your course? Like, maybe pursuing an academic career or something? I'm not sure just how high is the demand for Chinese translators in Hungary, but it seems like quite a niche language to me. Well, you still will be better off than psychology, sociology, philosophy or history graduates, because in the worst case scenario you could at least work as a freelance translator picking up odd jobs here and there.
No. 51967 Kontra
>Also, there were enough people finishing school or uni during wartime or shortly after and they still got jobs.
Surely post-war periods have a low unemployment rate for other reasons than education
I'd think it's almost the opposite since it shows that you are adaptable & disciplined enough to do it despite having online classes; there's more dropouts due to covid. At least mb that's a way you could spin it if you're confronted with it at a job interview.
No. 51970
Is there really more dropouts due to covid?

That explains the weirdest and most desperate ”You can do it Ernst!” Speech I got from my education counsellor the other day, after admitting I’m struggling with motivation at uni. I was confused why she was almost begging me to continue, but if there has been several dropouts (all go through her), no wonder.
No. 51971 Kontra
Other German here. I think so yes, I myself have less motivation, find it harder to sit down and work, especially at home with all the distraction, add on top the depressive atmosphere of the covid lock down, you see less people etc.
No. 51972
There's too many people going to uni anyways, I don't see how that's a bad thing.
No. 51973
Yeah, the current situation is bleak. At least there is no excuse for skipping class anymore.

Do you have a survival plan?
No. 51974
Welcome to the overeducated first world. You can’t work as a cleaner or wipe the ass of senile people without the right degree in Finland.
No. 51975
At least in Germany it's certainly not that people are "overeducated", but with the goal of having more people with Abitur and a university degree, they simply lowered the standards.
No. 51977
>Do you have a survival plan?

Nod really. I've been "depressed" before while having to cope with uni. But my masters wants basically that I write another bachelor thesis in two months (we speak of workload here, since I don't have just one major work to write). Since I'm an ambitious student, my one work is quite big in scope, I have to trim and select wisely what I read, but the literature is plenty. The other work is "just interesting" but I've been skipping research on it since I got green lights for the topic and concentrated on the one that really excites me.

My survival plan looks like this: get things done as best as possible, no day without at least a bit of reading and note taking, at least one article. Today I read two articles (about 35 pages, note taking and keeping track of connected thoughts takes time btw) and gave thoughts to the overall structure. Best would be a library or place in uni where I could sit down and read/write. That way I'd go there before lunch, read, have lunch, read more and then go home in the afternoon or evening, I don't distract myself with stuff while in such places, I don't browse the internet much etc. That way I'd be able to have at least 3h-6h/day of work done for university. Below 3h is usually a bad sign, sitting in uni below 3h is even worse, does not make much sense to invest time going there when you will sit there for just 2h and then return home.

Another plan would be to sit down in a prepared space at home, but I don't see this coming, my desk is cluttered with paper and some books, also there are books on the ground, quite messy.
No. 51978
Wow that really is what God wants
No. 51981
experiences that were not recorded, passed down, or acknowledged by one's historical narrative feel like they did not actually occur, or aren't "real" in some sense. As only a minuscule part of humanity gets validated and acknowledged int the "mainstream" historical narrative (history books, legends, religions), regular people used to find a sense of purpose in their own local histories.
It used to be families, tribes, communities, even neighborhoods and towns that gave a sense of "being someone" to the average person. You were someone, in some place, you were a character in the small story of your local community.

I feel like that shit's gone now. The only way a person currently has of etching their existence into collective awareness is by begging for attention on social media, amid millions of other voices.
Being the 15th most interesting guy in your village is mildly validating, and not that difficult. Being 15th most interesting guy in the world is impossible.
Is there a way to go back to the bliss of communal tribalism? Or is it the case that now that you're aware of how big the world actually is, no matter what community you're part of, it will feel less than insignificant?

I think this is what hooked me on imageboards back in the 2000s. I feel like I was "part of internet history". We had our own culture, customs, tales, legends, myths, etc. And it all felt Real, despite being text on the internet. There was a sense of things being meaningful in the grand scheme of things, like we were at the forefront of something. But then it all just dissipated. There was no disaster or crash or catastrophe, imageboard culture simply dissolved into the wider internet, became just one part of something gigantic and inscrutable.

Explains my fascination with MMOs, as well. Such games are really good at providing "surrogate meaning". A subset of reality where, within this slice of humanity, you can actually be someone. Among 5000 people on your server, you could actually be someone people recognize, if you were good enough at the game, or had an interesting enough personality. It's a very addictive feeling, this "meaning" stuff.
No. 51982
I feel that this communal connection does still exist but it varies on location. It still exists in small country towns where most people own land which has been in the family for generations and where there is a pub culture where the town gathers and trades stories.

But also, there are many other such cases of this. I think you said or they said you were an artist, this area has a lot of that community connection as well. You may not be the best artist but you may be the best at drawing steam punk vehicles or you may not even be the best at drawing steam punk vehicles but you may have a style that certain people like and that builds a following. As an artist you are also having a much larger impact than just your local community and an impact that will last far longer. I don't think it's just with art either but with any niche, you could be renowned in a scientific field, sport or even a train otaku website.
No. 51983
If it's social validation you're after we have never before in this history of mankind had this, or any other, kind of potential. Provided we don't fully crash and burn and in that case if we're not extinct the case may be even moreso you're actually at that exact juncture and nexus point between the archaic past and the post-Earth present and future, where Man itself will eventually pass into legend.

Frankly the one big thing I've found about complainers is they don't actually want to do anything. Incels are the biggest example. They simply want someone else to tell them what to do and allot them some kind of a Sovok life because no drive of their own. Like you, in particular, are quite possibly the most visible and notable person on the entire board. Moreover it's always been completely irrelevant what other people think of you. Who cares what someone else says to say about some celebrity, especially some vain banal e-celeb? I tried making this exact point to an ex before, that in this regard the only thing that's relevant is what people around you think, and whether they mean the world to you. We have not biologically superceded that small village at all. We're still at the roughly 250 person limit regardless. As for anything else, you speak English and you have a computer connection. You are not being limited by anything at all in that sphere, only your own lack of imagination or lack of drive. Do note that this does not factor in the material conditions, but provided that you actually speak at least one major language and you have internet, you immediately have greater ability to impact the world than at any previous point in history. What would some 9th century peasant have to do? Write a strongly worded letter to the lord complaining and hope he doesn't get punished for it? Oh no wait that's right he can't, because he cannot fucking read.

I'm sorry dude I don't mean to come off as abrasive but, again, it reminds me of that whining about incels who try and look for some reason or excuse that they can't get a gf because of black dicks or the Jews or "chads" monopolizing women or whatever, than the most painful admission that nowhere in history would they have had greater ease with gf particularly in their complaints pretending as if the modern world weren't heavily weighted towards brains over brawn, with the worst part of that acknowledgment being they have to stop being lazy fuckasses and have themselves alone to blame. I saw this mentality constantly on KC in the 2010s and no matter what, they refused to do anything and tried to cast blame or make excuses because the fact is they were lazy, and they were comfortable.

If you do not want to do something it is because you are simply more comfortable what you are doing now. That's it. People whine about shit like this all the time because they simply don't want to put in the effort for anything. They don't, because they are comfortable as it is, and it would cause them the mildest discomfort working towards a goal, with the added risk of failure, despite as they say if you do not try that gives you guaranteed 100% rate of failure.

>There was a sense of things being meaningful in the grand scheme of things, like we were at the forefront of something. But then it all just dissipated.
I to this day have that profoundest sense of feeling and thinking which is partly mentality and partly philosophical, despite my own immense comfort and laziness. Like I could easily be editing videos right now. I don't, because I am more comfortable in my pajamas shitposting and being lazy after work. In spite of this I already found my incredible inward sense of purpose and it makes me feel guilty every moment I waste not on working toward my goals, with time ever running out. Yet call it the applied butterfly effect sciences if you wish, you are always causing ripples across the timeline, always at the bow shock of your own causality before it washes history as a tidal wave whose origin sources will be hard to pinpoint. Politically motivated historians crafting a convenient narrative is irrelevant. Those are ran by corporations and idiots now. If you do not like it be that force of momentum against the inertia of their amorality and idiocy.
No. 51984
Yes and that trick is to always be looking forward, not on the past. The only reason to look back is figuring out what worked and what didn't, and which things you wish to toss on the dustheap of history and which are suitable towards the future momentum.

Honestly out of all things I'd say it's even easier now than any point in history to have an impact because so many people are glued to the internet and they're all consumers, not producers. Anyone can use cheap tech to make things and at light speed make it available to everyone else. The absolute awesome power you have as an individual today is ungodly. Use it for good, and don't be lazy. That's it. That's the whole trick.

As for community itself that's just the caustic and atomizing effects of Capitalist society particularly the Westernized hyper individualism which is in a state of freefall lately anyway. I don't personally anticipate it having as much power or relevancy in the 2030s and already in 2010s people rejected the global village and embraced tribalism partly out of that supreme rejection for neoliberal hyper individualism, even if the most vocal proponents were reactionaries too dim to understand what they were revolting against was merely Western Capitalism in the end.
No. 51986
491 kB, 411 × 546
>experiences that were not recorded, passed down, or acknowledged by one's historical narrative feel like they did not actually occur, or aren't "real" in some sense. As only a minuscule part of humanity gets validated and acknowledged int the "mainstream" historical narrative (history books, legends, religions), regular people used to find a sense of purpose in their own local histories.
>It used to be families, tribes, communities, even neighborhoods and towns that gave a sense of "being someone" to the average person. You were someone, in some place, you were a character in the small story of your local community.

This is only partly right. Indeed, deeper history is exclusively made by external memory devices, aka paper and shiet, a peasant or whatever it is that was never mentioned/found is lost. We know they existed. Myths could be handed done by voice and could be saved within ones personal memory (epigenetic)

>Bernard Stiegler articulates three different forms of memory: genetic memory (which is programmed into our DNA); epigenetic memory (which we acquire during our lifetime and is stored in the central nervous system) and, finally, epiphylogenetic memory (which is embodied in technical systems or artefacts).


Regarding tribalism and meaning: We have online communities in abundance and they are called communities for a reason, I know twitter bubbles that have main characters, more or less known people etc. the group or community still exists today, but it is not something you are born into so to speak, but that you can chose rather freely. I say rather because a group works via exlusive and inclusive mechanisms, not everybody can become part of EC as all of us have experienced shitposter having to go or getting called out and having to fuck off for their posting behavior. Since this board is rather anonymous, it is not the same as some 15th century village. Traditions still exist today, many have been swept though.
In the end, you can still be "someone" today. But it's not necessarily the default of the village blacksmith, the only skilled person in town to do X. Also in Germany there are local historical clubs which focus on local history, this is not professional in an academic sense, but these exist. And local histories are not banned from academic research either. What is the mainstream of historical narration? I can only think of joe average people cascading some dates like 1776, 1793, 1914, 1945, 1990 and names to it. That is mainstream history to me, but there exists so much more that looks for average peoples lives, albeit not down to an exact person in most cases. Most famous example: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cheese_and_the_Worms
No. 51992
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>Or is it the case that now that you're aware of how big the world actually is, no matter what community you're part of, it will feel less than insignificant?
Zeroing in on this- the awareness. Seems to lie at the root of feeling insignificant. We're all significant to someone, a small circle (I agree with >>51982, communities do still exist), but insignificant to the larger whole. This was always true, but it didn't matter. You couldn't see all those people who didn't know you existed, and so, in a sense they didn't exist for you either.

That's no longer true. Now we all see the entire pool of humanity, picking out a few names to remember, famous people or whatever, but the rest is a blur. And, in return, we're blurred by someone else as they select their own set of names to know. So you feel insignificant, because you're not the one selected.

What does this mean? It means nothing has changed regarding your own significance- it was always local. The people you see and directly interact with. But through our collective eavesdropping, peering into other circles, we now know how small that local group is. Awareness. That's the problem. Like walking by restaurants you can't afford to eat in. Even if you're fed, you know there is the potential for more. For better.

Options from here? Seize that potential, as >>51983 mentioned- maybe taste that steak, maybe end up with Hamburger Helper- or be satisfied that you are no more insignificant than your ancestors. They were known in their own circle, played their small role in history, just as we're all doing today.

>Wish I would know how to make gifs without watermark
This is my go-to. Lots of features, good results, no watermark:

No. 51993
Looking into buying an AR-10. I don't really want one right now and it would be financially irresponsible and I already have other guns that I would prefer shooting even if I bought an AR-10 but if national gun control legislation goes through it might become much harder in the future. Prices are especially high now because lots of other people are probably thinking the same thing. Maybe I'll buy a disassembled bare-bones AR-10 and no optic or ammunition since I'm just buying it in case I might want it one day.
No. 51994
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For some reason I feel weak and tired.
I could cope with feeling tired, I hate the feeling of weakness.
Makes me genuinely afraid of death.
Really hard to sleep well when the only structure to my day is the practical classes I have to attend in real time.
It's not motivation I'm struggling with, it's structure.

Still, I went out today and bought a few notepads and a literary journal.
It's gotten very warm.

The plan is that I'd "specialise" instead of picking a minor and my degree would specialise in translation and interpretation of the modern Chinese language, which is I think something that I should be able to find a job with, since I know English, B2 level German and I'll know Chinese. Doing a C2 English certificate would probably help, since I speak English well enough, it's just I don't have a higher level certificate for it. (My HS degree counts as a B2 level certificate, that's all I know of the English language officially.)
(Really, I think I could already land some kind of low paying office drone job if it wasn't for the shitty economy and my studies.)
In short, I always had a plan. Whether or not that plan will work remains to be seen, but I'm optimistic.
No. 51995
Among the many reasons why I am probably now all but guaranteed to be a lifelong Democratic voter is, aside from the Republicans proving themselves irresponsible, negligent, hypocritical, or just downright evil over the last few years, is because they've proven themselves useless of even the top few things I disliked about Democrats particularly including family values (like Paul Ryan, or even Obama in his personal life) and gun rights.

With all that being said we do now control the Supreme Court 6v3 on gun rights issues, which now means that frankly the one damn issue I detested Hillary on the most is now basically a moot point because they're not gonna be able to ram anything past the Supreme Court. SCOTUS I'm sure will still manage to find ways to disappoint or piss me off but I'm still pretty secure in the sense they're not grabbing our guns, which is a sentiment all the gun manufacturers cynically push every time a Dem is anywhere to be seen.

It's a cynical ploy and if you already have the means to self defense then I'd personally say don't even think about it before the end of this year because prices are staying inflated. Only reason to get extra guns is if you're anticipating shit getting so bad it'll appreciate in value enough to sell it or trade it off later, however odds are looking prices will just drop later. Biden in particular has in no way made gun control part of his broader policy agenda in any vocal sense. Not that I trust him on the issue, but I just don't think even Senate/Congress/POTUS can push anything through which won't get challenged and torn down by our SCOTUS.

I am saying all this as someone who dropped from the party in 2019 btw. Biden didn't cheat. Qtards are delusional retards stuck huffing farts in their own echochamber so they didn't see the writing already on the wall two years ago and I'm saying this as someone who ended up voting blue across the board for the first time in a long ass while. I'm so disgusted and disappointed by them at this point even in the few damn things they had. I said this before but they're not nothing but NPCs repeating "dilate" no matter the topic because it's the sole thing they have left. I despise trannyism ideologically, and they have nothing left on their side. Not even gun rights. I completely stopped trusting the GOP on gun rights in 2020. Frankly this situation is ideal because SCOTUS and there'll be nonstop screeching and blocking of even the tiniest hint of gun legislation, something which didn't happen with the bumpstock ban and
>grab their guns first, due process second
I think our guns are fine right now tbh.
No. 52005
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My one paper has three parts, all parts are related in a way, I see, I sense that my argument is valid, all three share certain fields that interact with each other: social and economic organization, time (understood as certain temporalities) and dividuality, all of them are crucially part of a cybernetic epistemology and ontology that is quite powerful, literally, today. If we live in a cybernetics age, these are key words or concepts to understanding it. You know I would like to explain it to you and you guys ask me question so I can know where things are unclear, for me I just don't know the details, I don't know what questions I have to answer in this paper, just some very general questions. I have a hard time reading and stringing it all together in a coherent form. It's quite much and I have a hard time getting it coherent, which means let alone getting down paraphrases of some pages, especially the technical details of hardware that makes possbile certain forms of organization because it operates in a certain (time specific) way thus making possible operations within the social and political realm, in reality so to speak. Mathematics is symbolism but these symbols make real operations possible. A paradigm of operationality (planning, modulating...organizing etc) enabled by systemic abstractions. You see I don't get it together rightly, as if something is missing. My head is so full with concepts I don't know how they are related exactly. And in light of this mass of info I get demotivated to actually make proper research while my mind also knows this is highly interesting and there is plenty of reasons to be motivated.

Anyway, the sun was shining today and many people where outside taking a walk and stuff, it is always a nice moment when you realize all the people suddenly on the streets are there because the sun is out, including yourself. I have vague and very small plan for my live, the rest is drifting. Where does the drift come from, it seems like it is a specifity of modern life. Ofc in the middle ages there have been drifters I guess, but I'm not sure if these were big in numbers. Maybe the thought isn't very ripe anyway. The nuances, the details, Ernst. Also I'm kinda depressed.
No. 52013 Kontra
>Among the many reasons why I am probably now all but guaranteed to be a lifelong Democratic voter is

Like you were anything different before if your hilariously one-sided rants were any indication. Shut the fuck up.
No. 52053
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Just posting some of my recent Ernst-related shoops.
No. 52094 Kontra
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Is the first modeled after Dugtrio Pokemon? (I'm to lazy to find out the name for the single version)
No. 52099
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Life is actually pretty good.
I'm still very tired because I allocated my time badly, but I don't feel weak any more.
That's very good.

I'm filled with genuine bliss over my studies and the coming times.
No. 52119
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Recently I was reminded of how I used to be really into the WRC when I was younger, so I decided to watch some highlights from the Monte Rally last month.

Man, this shit has still got this weirdly cosy feeling to it, even though the lineup is nowhere near as diverse as it once was. There's not even a Lancer anymore. Still, Finland Arctic Rally starts in a few days. Gonna try and see if there's a pirate stream around, since I'd rather not drop 90 euros on a season pass to the official coverage.

Any other ernsts like rally?
No. 52124
thinking of nuking my OS install and all data on my hard drive permanently.

I have hoarded bookmarks, images, files, etc., since 2012, in hopes of actually consuming all that content at some point, but by now I've realized that it's basically impossible for me to catch up on my backlog.
Sitting down at my computer gives me anxiety now because I can't keep track of all the shit I have on it.

I'm actually more productive on my empty work laptop with a clean, bookmarkless browser.
Is not being able to deal with things you can't hold in your head at once a disease of some kind?
No. 52126
>Any other ernsts like rally?

Yes, not into WRC though, as the cars are rather boring.

This is bliss to me, some Bulgarians built S1 clones, so you can race them kinda like they used to and not treat them like a museum car when on track

You can find on board clips from amateurs, older videos, FIA etc. There are still amateur rallies where you can watch compilations made by Youtube channels or just watch old TV streams on Youtube as well.
No. 52127
Anxiety. At worst, anxiety coupled with some odd event or circumstances during development of object permanence. But most likely just anxietoh shit it's 4am
No. 52129
Fair. I have noticed that the new season certainly lacks the charm of even older WRC. The New Zealand amateur rally scene was pretty ebin, lots of run down old minis and datsuns, but I don't hear as much about that shit in Australia, so I assume it's just not as popular. Probably because the country is too big for decent amateur meetups.

Man, the S1 is an ebin car though. Dunno if I like it more than the 205 T16 but shiet man, I'm down for any Group B wheels.

Got any recs for amateur leagues?
No. 52132
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Yes, rally is fascinating.
No. 52133
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Genrally I'd say Rallye is not as prominent and favored as 30-40 years ago.

I have nothing to recommend really, I casually watch such videos, there are a few rally channels on YT that bring to you recordings of more unknown or amateur rallies. like this https://www.youtube.com/c/FullAttackReport/videos

No. 52134
Yeah, Fascinating is a good way to put it. I think that the whole Driver/Co-Driver dynamic does make for a much more interesting motorsport than many others. Having one guy needing to adjust his course notes according to conditions on the fly to enable the other to drive optimally in poor conditions is just a far more fascinating thing to watch than the 'mere' (as in, it's incredible skill wise but less theatric) driving skill of a solo driver motorsport.
No. 52136
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Thanks, looks like good shit with plenty of variety. Guess I got tomorrow's binge :-DDD

Also, even casually you know more than me right now tbh, since I haven't even been casually following the sport for 10-12 years or so.

The sexiest thing about that 205 is that most of the back half of it is motor. The engine to chassis ratio of that sumbitch is insane. It almost perfectly encapsulates the excesses of Group B. Plus I do have a thing for French cars. They were the exotic euro thing that you rarely saw when I was a kid, they're a lot more common here now though (and also a lot less cool in terms of design).
No. 52147
Getting bad vibes lately, weird nightmares.
I've been doing some exercises in short story & screenplay writing but my progress feels too slow. I'm only managing to write a page or so every other day, and it's not like it's a good page, it's just practice...
I'm having a hard time really focussing on one thing, but that's probably what I should do.

>by now I've realized that it's basically impossible for me to catch up on my backlog.
Feel is known, I've started to make priority lists for each year. Can't say I've got a great "completion rate", but I think it doesn't really matter, it just makes stuff more manageable.

>Is not being able to deal with things you can't hold in your head at once a disease of some kind?
Eh, I think it's normal though surely varies by degree & you could surely classify it as a disease at some point. Breaking stuff down into smaller tasks helps somewhat, so you can get sth done before you get distracted again, but that doesn't really capture the root of the problem. Having deadlines does wonders too I suppose, but that's another topic.

Currently I'm just using two separate browser windows for "work" and "play" but that's not very effective. You know what, I'll actually try setting up a separate profile for work.
No. 52148
I know that low productivity feel. It's a similar feeling to what people describe with drawing, where you can picture what you want to put down but struggle to execute it.

One of my long-term projects has been on really long-term hiatus because I just don't have the inspiration to write for it, while other projects see a lot more functional brain wörkenings.

If I had protips, I'd offer them, but I don't so I can't.
No. 52155
I'm still wondering if the driver really is 50% blind driving at least, just steering/brake/throttle by some numbers and attributes given by the co-driver

I've watched, a video here and there once in a while. My first game for computer was Codemasters first McRae Rally. I guess this had some influence on me.
Whats also adds to the excess of the cars built and power is the crowd lining the track:
No. 52156 Kontra
Also this one, I found it right next to it, totally forgot about it
No. 52157
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Estrangeiros will never understand.
No. 52160
I've heard Joe Blowski once mention in an interview that midway and until the end of a project he's working on, he's implementing ideas that he's had years and years before, and while working on those old ideas, he has new ideas, and he will have to work on those new ideas years and years into the future, when they too will be old. And that's just something you gotta deal with.

Maybe I should adopt that approach. Although I'm not sure about bringing to life all the dumbass ideas I had as a teenager and young adult.

>Bernard Stiegler articulates three different forms of memory: genetic memory (which is programmed into our DNA); epigenetic memory (which we acquire during our lifetime and is stored in the central nervous system) and, finally, epiphylogenetic memory (which is embodied in technical systems or artefacts).
I'll write a more thorough reply to that whole chain later in the week, but for now I'd like to say that such boundaries seem a tad arbitrary, considering all those things fall under the broader category of "matter arranged in a certain configuration".
I'd actually outline just two types of information retention. Conservation of medium and replication of data. Former being a stone tablet, the latter being stuff like genes, and human to human information transfer, including the rewriting of the stone tablet.
It's interesting how those two things fall on the opposite sides of the spectrum on how much volatility is required for each to work.
No. 52162
The weather is getting pretty good. The wind has that smell of freshness to it I like. Spring is almost here.
It feels very nice. I might even sit outside on the weekend to read and study.
I can't wait for the cherry tree that's not actually a cherry tree to blossom outside as I'm reading.
No. 52163
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>"matter arranged in a certain configuration".

Hm, I don't know, looks like it at first, but there is nothing said about what memories are, only how they are "stored" (in different matter configurations). What's interesting about Stiegler is just that there can be external memories, you don't have to memorize all yourself. And without that external memory we would clearly live in a very different world. History today is written as narative in academic books but also by amateurs, many things are forgotten that way yeah. Yet you still have the epigenetic memory, that all the peasants and whoever had back then, when no external recording was possible (for them). It's not like external memory kills all the others. There still are art scenes (a [more or less lose] group) for example in cities whose history exist mostly inside peoples "heads" (nervous system) and sometimes somebody writes about it, well. Or somebody tells stories about the past, about their experiences and what they got handed down by others who lived before them. These people derive their meaning from their group, not exactly like the peasants did, but I think there are similar functions at work if we want to view it from a technical or abstract position.
Ofc peasants might focus more on certain stories to tell, special rituals than the members of a cities art scene across the last 100 years. Yet even those scene might habe certain rituals, codes etc. that get handed down and also created/give meaning for people to hold on to.
No. 52166
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Man, that shit is wild. I'm genuinely surprised there aren't more crowd fatalities in general tbh. Speaks to the skill of drivers for sure. If you want to see the weird side of Group B, check out footage of the Citroen BX 4TC. The mad cunts kept the hydropneumatic suspension in it :-DDD

I do wonder how that felt to drive though. I've read that the hydropneumatic system makes cornering a weird experience but not an unpleasant or slow one.

Man, maybe I should download a racing game for emulator. Been playing a lot of PS2 lately, and I remember McRae rally being pretty good.
No. 52167
Thank God I'm finally home. Today sucked. Yesterday sucked too. I'm not quite sure what it is because I barely slept for yesterday but I allegedly got a full night for today and I still felt tired like I mostly haven't felt since school all nighters or benders with friends. It's a specific sort of feel. I can't even tell if it's because my latest air mattress finally broke and is deflating through my sleep, because seasonal lights are changing or what but even with 7 hours afaik I still feel like I haven't slept at all.
No. 52172
Do you guys ever get this weird nostalgia or longing for times and places to which you've never been? Somehow a part of me always feel like my soul loved this period of time from roughly I think the 1890s to the 1920s. It just felt like such an incredibly hopeful, experimental, and eclectic period of time, especially in America, where new art and new thought showed the triumph of man and dreamed of our technologically advanced futures, where even in spite of my occasional railing against the bullshit of it now really that has a lot more to do with this generation just being complete shit about everything I actually would've loved to have spent all my time fraternizing with dandies and flappers while tipling some black market scotch and discussing philosophy, ethics, and art, and the new ideas and conceived ways of exploring both the metaphysical as well as technological, the spiritual and the occult as well as distant moons. It just feels like everything that happened after that has been either scary or a banality. Interestingly I never got into Bioshock come to think of it, but, you know, bland fps gameplay not being helped by environment always.

Shame how it all turned out I guess. Although thinking more, I guess most of the stuff I really would've cared about did turn out swimmingly, better than expected even. We're already probing the most distant horizons, from the nanometer to the parsec. So that's cool I guess. Just wish people weren't so awful in groups.
No. 52173
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I got these feelings of nostalgia often enough when I read H.G. Wells. I've never been to 1899 London but I felt like I had a lot in common with the time period. I suppose it was just the decency of most people in his books compared to what we see now.

Wells even saw Ireland as some borderlands wild west place in some of his books but I'm still a big fan, each author is a product of his times
No. 52174
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That is legitmiately a fuggen horrific timeline to be in unless you're rich tbh. Thats the same period that some of the largest massacres of striking workers in history happened. Up to and including Blair Mountain where the mine owners dropped WW1 era chemical weapons on the workers, and the Army was sent in to help.

Another example is the murder of Frank Little, a labour organiser. From Wikipedia:

"Little was later tied to the car's rear bumper and dragged over the granite blocks of the street. Photographs of his body show that his knee-caps had possibly been scraped off.[10][11] Little was taken to Milwaukee Bridge at the edge of town where he was then hanged from a railroad trestle."

That's non-exhaustive by the way, and ignoring the general 'low-intensity' oppression happening across the country.

Even in Australia around this time they'll put you out for trumped up arson and treason for labour organising and anti-war activism.
No. 52175
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Poor people aren't really people so I don't see a problem here.
No. 52176
Dirt Rallye 1 and 2 are pretty awesome, a friend had the first one and it felt quite realistic.


It's my favorite designed car, on my way to elementary school was a Citroen dealer and he had them in is backyard where used cars had been placed. A guy parked his navy BX near my parents and I could see it from the windows.
Too bad it's shit to maintain, I will never have one, but man the design.
I did not even know it was a group B car, I knew the Citroen BX existed as rally car but totally forgot about it.
No. 52177
To be fair, we also had real anarchists bombing people back then too, instead of just standing around at pickets.
No. 52180
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>Dirt Rallye
Will pick it up next time it's on sale. Don't have a wheel, but hopefully it's gamepad playable :-D
t. hanks

The BX 4TC was barely a BX at the end of the day tbh. Much longer hood being the most immediately visible. It performed really badly, but I imagine that it drives a lot nicer than most Group B cars as an everyday car :-DDD

The street version is pretty sexy too. I'm also a bit of a BXfag. They got a certain charm to them. Even ignoring the GT Digit which is where most people would go to for the coolest because of the (admittedly pretty rad) digital dashboard and trip computer. My favourite is the GTi 16v of the (relatively rare) 4x4 variety (pic 2).
No. 52181
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Tbh, that shit was a lot less common than bosses and government coming down on peaceful strikes. America also had a big problem with lynchings, but the KKK got along just fine. It was an anti-labour thing, and anything they said to another effect is a smokescreen judging by their actions. The Bread and Roses Strike even had the bosses discussing planting explosives to make the striking workers look like violent anarchists because that was a classic play across the world with these things. These people with state militia pointing bayonet-fixed rifles at them, were people who barely spoke English, and were protesting for the radical goals of not having their wages slashed by factory bosses who were mad that the workers had won the 54 hour work week, and for overtime pay. The only bombs at this particular strike were the ones that the bosses considered planting to frame union leaders and get them killed.

And tbh, the casualties were pretty damn low from anarchist violence, I daresay that many more people died from atrocious working conditions than ever did in those bombings. The bosses were just well connected though, so the workers get a crackdown, and the bosses get the state's help in doing so. It was blown way out of proportion during the First Red Scare, and ended up with tens of thousands of (often warrantless and arbitrary) arrests and deportations.
No. 52183
Even though socialists were opponents of the Kaiser he rejected a law that Bismarck tried to pass that would allow Socialists to be removed from their houses, he also tried to raise the working conditions of all workers in Europe. What did the workers and socialists do to repay him? Nothing pleasant certainly, they have no gratitude or any of the traits of a civilised human. They are base animals.
No. 52184 Kontra
Kc tyre
No. 52185 Kontra
The reactionary pets of oligarchs aren't human though
No. 52189 Kontra
34 kB, 121 × 88, 0:03
It's simple, they did not want the Peitsche in Zuckerbrot und Peitsche, but you don't seem to get that, why have any gratitude for somebody who does not really fulfill what you want, Bismarck did this out of political calculation and not because he was a saint who cared about workers benevolence.

Also KC tyre opinion, but what to expect from somebody who thinks in categories of civilization which spawned barbarious acts in a continuous manner.
No. 52204 Kontra
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No. 52228
lol i don't even have the energy or motivation to write walls of text anymore.
who gives a shit anyway, there's like a dozen people on this board at best, and like 5 I actually engage with.

I think my woes about being left out of the historical narrative and erased as an entity are largely due to my quasi-sociopathic or autistic nature. honestly, I don't think I can form bonds with people or derive meaning from personal relationships, which makes me feel perpetually solitary and othered.
sometimes I am taken aback when I realize that some people view me a certain way, or have an idea of who I am, or that I basically occupy a certain part of their "world". I have a hard time relating to that, because I often forget about the existence of people as soon as they leave the room. I experience people more like on-going stimuli than objects. I can not tell that there are things behind the stimuli, so I don't assume. and tbh I don't think I care either. Sometimes I entertain the thought that my computer isn't actually connected anywhere, and all the information I access on it is synthesized on the fly, and the computer just behaves as if it's connected somewhere. and that there's nobody behind those posts or voices. and I think it wouldn't make any difference to me if that were the case.

I think some part of my brain just doesn't work properly. Or maybe I've had continuous depersonalization for so long that I've forgotten what it's like not to have it.

To be honest I think Art is basically dead. And I mean Art with the big A. Art in the sense of "crating an arrangement of patterns and relationships that reveal something poignant about nature or human condition for others to observe".
art is alive as a hobby, as a tool, as entertainment, as a profession, as a means of socialization, etc. Like becoming a professional illustrator or, like you said, being the resident artist on a train enthusiast forum.

But making but big A Art, today, is like writing a philosophical tractate in 2021. Like, who gives a flying shit, other than a very small number of academics and hobbyists? The whole idea of the arts, academic pursuits, philosophy, etc., have vanished from public consciousness. Instead we have "I fucking love le science!!!" and Technology(tm). Being a serious academic, or an artist, today, is about as socially significant as being a stamp collector or toy train enthusiast. except harder. nobody cares but you and a few other weirdos.

And what's frustrating is that those things died in the west before we in the third world could enjoy them. Westerners think they're suffering under hyper-capitalism, and the third world is "catching up" to them, but actually it's the other way around. the commodification of literally everything and erosion of all sensibilities, ideals and sentimentality, in the west, was slowed down by their existing, pre-industrial institutions. religious, academic, etc. Well, we never had those in the first place. It was an abrupt transition from the stone age to capitalist oligarchy overnight.

you know, I wanted to be a scientist or an engineer when I was a kid. my favorite movies were about evil geniuses and mad scientists and shit. and I remember how disappointed I was when one day it dawned on me that there is no such thing as academia in my country. In fact, there's no such thing on most of this continent, and for literally thousands of kilometers around me. The closest place where I could get a non-joke education is 6 timezones away. quarter of the globe. Lol. And at this point, there never will be. Only couchings, courses, trainings, qualifications, "micro-degrees", that teach you how to be a more efficient wagie. epic.
and hell, even if I did become a "scientist", most science today amounts to doing "research" funded by private companies, p-hacking the data and using the results as leverage to push for legislative change or something.
this whole "civilization" thing is a fucking sham, I want to live in a yurt and shit on the open grass
No. 52229
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Perhaps the reason you're being a tad abrasive is because you're projecting your own internal issues around this topic on me.

To clarify, I never said I wanted to make an impact on the world. Or, like, affect the world, or gain wide recognition. Rather, I want the sense (or illusion) of meaning and fulfillment that comes with these things. At to that end, I'd like the opposite: I'd like to become ignorant of the "wider world" and somehow return to the garden of eden state of innocence, where your entire world is the size of a village.
250 people? I wish. I live in a commieblock hive that hosts thousands of people, in a million population city, and I barely know like a dozen human beings by name. The larger the outside world is, the smaller my world becomes.

There's this funny relationship where how "meaningful" something is, is independent of its scale or significance in the real world. on scales from 1 to 10, 1 to 100, 1 to a million, etc., the number of things that occupy the number 1 spot are constant: 1. Yet the proportion of things that this spot occupies is different.
The larger the space, the less significant any one point on it becomes, and at the same time, the less likely it becomes for one to occupy any one point. I think it's interesting to apply this relationship to how we perceive ourselves in relation to the world.

I don't want to just "affect the world". I want that effect to be meaningful, and meaningful in my own subset of the world I choose to live in.
I don't want to piss into the ocean, because nobody will care about that. I want to piss into the village well and get beaten to death.
No. 52230
Anyone who is sufficiently clever can trigger a war halfway around the world right now.

You can use things to get out of them what you want to get out of them. I enjoy my anonymity online. One day that I can feel is coming soon I'll have synthesized the rest of my thoughts after having done so here and elsewhere, and while my posts would be most recognizable here and sadly take years to fade into obscurity it still gives me a certain amount of wiggleroom to plausible deniability. There's a certain thing to be said for leadership and authorship however, as anything I've seen filtered through others turned out retarded one way or another so it does require taking ownership and control of things eventually. But your earlier paragraphs are really more a philosophical treatise in its subtext. I know you meant something different by it but I literally just thought ten minutes ago how part of the problem with most human perception and understanding is that time itself seems to them just a series of objects and a "single" object that is "moving" upon different coordinates, as opposed to what time actually is which is more like the mycelium of a mushroom, each individual person one of its many filaments wrapping around all the other filaments. So I wouldn't even say a person is an object in the world, but rather a filament through time. Your birth and mortality is just where the tips of that filament ends, like Vonnegut's crayon marks in Slaughterhouse Five.
No. 52231
>Anyone who is sufficiently clever can trigger a war halfway around the world right now.
Maybe. Would it be a meaningful war, though?

If I were given a button that erases a random person on the planet, despite deeply affecting many peoples' lives, I'd get bored of pressing it because it doesn't really mean anything, to me, here.
No. 52238
Your problem seems to be you want to believe in objective meaning but likewise don't believe in religion, and I get that. It's probably part of why you seem to reject the obvious conclusion, which is that if there is no meaning in this world then you invent one. You could invent your own, but you seem to be trapped in this angst where you seemingly believe in some of the tenets of existentialism but while rejecting the solutions a lot of existentialist thinking seems to propose. I think in a sense you're just a man born outside your time. Point here being, that for such a person able to step outside time there are many possibilities open to you that there are not for others, both good and ill. I do think the Gitler was one of them, and he was being sincere about that. They cannot step outside their social, temporal, physical contexts.

>would the war be meaningful?
Of course not. No war is ever meaningful--only survival is. Beyond that it is the imposition of your own meaning upon the world, whether you think it's reimposing the objective truth or not, or rather inventing a new truth. Regardless, the clear solution to disatisfaction with the way things are is to find your own methods of changing what you can within your own parameters. If you do not, then it clearly means your disatisfaction is not more important than your limited comfiness to risking changing anything.

I guess for me personally right now I'm at the edge to where I'm slumming in the bottom of society and staying as hidden underground as I can. Solon was right. I am being ruled by my utter inferiors and I have the capacity and the will to change that, though my decisions made it a monumentally uphill climb, and I will have to suffer many things I hate for a rather long time to get there. However, I now see it as an active existential threat against me too, as the result of complacency is being subjected to coofers and it is little different now to where we were 500 years ago when being poor is basically a death sentence to any happening. Yet unlike them, I can know better, and I plan on carrying with me my entire life the fresh out of the shtetl survivalist mindset of trying to leverage what scant resources are available to you for the widest most dramatic effect you possibly can. Hence, I wish to get into video editing and such, and will need to accumulate capital. The last part is most difficult because the socio-political order is stacked against us, but it comes down to a willingness to do things and how utterly ruthless or devoid of ethics you are willing to be and where that wall finally lies with the last remaining scruples you dare not cross. Alternatively, aiding others and having such a reputation, but in any case it means laziness is an impossibility on that road. You might fail, but being lazy and doing nothing has a 100% failure rate.

The problem with the bulk of people including many who post here comes down to sheer apathy and laziness. It's the same reason incels stayed incels on KC. They simply refused to change anything or leave their comfort zones. If you hate the world, you have a few options: changing it, imposing your own order upon it; destroying it, or at least destabilizing it; and retreating from it. I, like I suspect you and many here, chose that latter category, and am sick of it.
No. 52239
I hate this. I woke up late again today and now I have and have had a splitting headache all day. I know partly I wake up dehydrated which is probably part of why aspects feel reminiscent if hangovers but I've strongly suspected for years now that my breathing goes too much shallower in sleep and partly cuts off my oxygenation. Maybe it's a reason I don't often dream. Or maybe I'm just grinding my teeth in sleep but no way am I paying hundreds of dollars for a retainer. End result days like this whole day becoming wasted because the headache doesn't go away until the evening.
No. 52240
Well, I've actually considered several existentialist solutions to my problem.
I've tried embracing the absurd and just taking in the experience of being like Camus said, but I think what he really meant by that is that you should be a french womanizer and fuck lots of beautiful women to distract yourself from existential dread. I can't do that, so instead I tried just going out by myself, but it turns out you need money to do literally anything in an urban environment.
Music seems to have worked for Schopenhauer, and I admit it's pretty good, but most of the days I don't enjoy music, only when I'm in a good mood, and found a really good album. Which is rare in itself.
Kierkegaard seemed to have actually enjoyed existential angst, I think there's a certain thrill to be deeply anxious about realty. I think same was true for the first 5 years since I've developed mental problems, but my now it's boring and I just want it to stop.
So yeah, I think I might have to try another method.

Regarding changing the world, I'm more talking about changing the world in a metaphysical sense, or at least my local perception of it. I want to find a way to "synthesize" meaning directly, rather than attempt to rearrange things externally in hopes that meaning will arise.
And to be fair, I'm "objectively" doing well right now. The "character" of me is on a positive trajectory and his life is improving. It's just that "I" am not really enjoying the process. It feels like playing The Sims in a way. My "sim" is doing great, and probably enjoying life, but what do "I" care what he feels like? I'm just forcing my body to go through the motions, puppeteering it through this act of "living", while I myself am miserable.
And I doubt the material conditions of my "avatar" will affect my own internal experience, since that's never been the case. But it seems like there's no other way than to keep doing it til it happens, so oh well. But I WILL bitch and moan incessantly all the way through that process, because god damn it I need it.
Maybe in 5 years I'll feel great and all these thoughts will seem like silly nonsense.

Regarding retreating from the world.
You know, when there's a big pile of shit right in front of you, retreating away from it seems like a better choice than wrestling with it.
No. 52246
Today was pretty good I think.
I didn't sleep at all because I did the duty of all university students, which is staying up until 5 and talking with a friend about random meaningless shit and getting into heated debates over it until we don't know who's trolling who any more. It's amazing what tangents a piece of American propaganda can lead you to.
I love this rhetorical sparring. Makes me feel high.

But because of this I only slept two hours.
The evaluation of the homework I handed in had an extra question attached to the end asking
>P.S.: Do you make sure to make up for sleep lost after an all-nighter?
And yet people say university is a heartless place.

Tomorrow I'm going to help paint the fence and the gate.
Also I'm going to clean the table outside so that I can sit and read. Gonna be pretty good.
It'll be great, sitting outside, reading and drinking a glass of good wine in the afternoon like Márai recommends.
No. 52247
1,2 MB, 1752 × 5426
I still don't agree. Your idea of art as "crating an arrangement of patterns and relationships that reveal something poignant about nature or human condition for others to observe". is perhaps more valid now than ever before, that's what modern art is. None of it is about beauty or anything, it's pouring the contents of a garbage truck into a living room and saying that has some deep meaning about the way we live and then having a bunch of pretentious people gather round and clap until one pays a million dollars for it. Most common people don't care about the pretentious side of art but then they never did, there is still that same community in existence that does however and it's bigger and less talented now than before. A talented artist could do well in the field.
No. 52250
If you are grinding your teeth in sleep that can be a problem later in life that you might want to get fixed before it becomes such an issue. I just recently went to the dentist and he told me that exact thing and that I should get a retainer so I looked it up on Google scholar to see if there were any other treatments for it. Some studies found that it is caused by stress and also that it occurs more in poor sleep. Oddly enough, the other night I was stressing over something while trying to get to sleep, I woke up and noticed that I was grinding my teeth together and the next morning my teeth did feel strange like I had been grinding them all night, so there is probably some truth to this.
No. 52252 Kontra
312 kB, 802 × 1056
>That picture

Neither the American lamento nor the british graduates impress me (both is cherry picked I guess). I think you can find well crafted, highly realistic painting on TikTok and instagram these days, there are a lot of hobbyists in realistic drawing, arts as craft/skill. And then you have modern art. I guess you have some valid paintings even these days in art school, but people think that art school is about a having a tool for drawing/painting and learning this. There is more than this one form of art at an art school usually. It would be pretty stupid of the makers of that picture to include peoples work in photography and shiet.
It's the same discussion of what art actually is and many people think it's bEinG goOd aT reAlisT drAwing/painting. For sure this is an important skill but maybe art is more tan being good with a pen/brush. And I don't see why animation is treated here as some kind of pinnacle of art tbh. And yeah, many people go to art school an don't produce world class art or anything affecting me in any way. Do people wonder why Art has make a turn away from realistic painting or ancient greek mimesis? I don't mean attending imageboard class on art 101 where the answer is some mysterious spengleresque human civil decay.
No. 52253
>that whole article
Desire to rant about the neoliberal destruction of art by turning it into no more than a vessel for storage and transfer of capital intensifies
No. 52259
The thing about (good) animation is that it has more dimensions than regular painting. I can draw a closed fist pretty well and life-like, but drawing a hand forming a fist? Hell no.
What I mean is MOVEMENT. In classic animation you have no mocap or anything, you have to exactly know in your mind's eye how a person moves, how facial expressions work and so on.

As for modern art, I don't understand why it gets the pass that you don't need to have any skills. If I make a song with my two and a half chords or write a story, people will rightfully say they suck. Why? Because I am not a good guitar player and an inexperienced writer. Yet if I shit on a baking tray and call it "shit sandwich" and talk about oppression of trans folk, people will call it thought-provoking and brave.

Visual arts is a craft as any other craft and as such demands a modicum of skill and art that needs to be explained is not art.
No. 52260
No, not really. Under that definition, I'd put everything from classical sculpture, to renaissance art, to impressionism, and yes even AbEx. It just has to be good, lol. I don't get this absolutely retarded brainlet dichotomy of "art can either be mindless entertainment for idiots, or it's pretentious ego stroking tool for yuppie social climbing, no other alternatives are possible".
Like, if you hold that view, have you ever been to a museum or whatever? Or is your idea of "art" formed by tv cartoons, video game concept art, and /pol/ infographics about "the decline of western civilization"?

The decline of the "artistic tradition" is exactly what I'm complaining about here, yet you decide to randomly bring up post-modern art (yes, not modern art, retard. modern art is not post-modern art is not AbEx) for no reason. I guess because you are insecure about being a fucking midwit pleb retard, so you have to justify your awful taste in literally everything by going "but what about THESE guys?". What about them? You're both about equally retarded, so no, their existence doesn't make yours any less embarrassing.

Sure, lots of post modern art (different than modern art) is super cringe because it has zero ideas, but honestly I find it way less embarrassing than this guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdbjzs2_1rY
My answer to the question in his video title is no, lol. This isn't art. It's something I'd find printed on a cheap polyester woman's t-shirt from china.
Quite hilarious to me that he started drawing, anime, too. That's like the cherry on top.
Zero ideas, zero exploration, nothing to say, just eye candy. The same composition, style and color palette every single time. He found a formula that gives him mediocre results for less effort, and is stamping out pictures that are essentially identical in meaning. No wonder he transitioned (hehe) to anime, that's exactly how anime is made lmao.
No. 52261 Kontra
9 kB, 288 × 175
the midwit aussie is starting to get on my nerves
absolute small-brain basic bitch "I read a 4chan screencap about this" takes on literally every subject
hey, how about forming your own opinions, fuck head
No. 52262

ernst energy

I think you made an interesting remark: novelty

I think that is the thing with both "post modern art" which to me is heavily guided by reference, the death of orginality and its acknowledgement. Instead there is "remix", you always refer back to something, does not mean it cannot be somehting new by combination of things. There is many mediocre art as it explores themes, forms and ideas that have been there before. They have nothing to add, or just add in a bad way. And ofc you can do a work of art that encapsulates a common form, a common theme, a many times exploited idea, but you have to do it good; Art always asks for the HOW it is done imo.

>art that needs to be explained is not art.

So christian painting is not art anymore, because most people need explanations these days? Or is it because there are nicely painted thats enough to be art?

People who deal with abstractions and ideas might not need an explanation for certain concept art but make their own. Truly art is affective to me foremost, but an explanation can reveal and then affect an observer.

Also inherent to art is that people fight about what it is apparently, I don't know we have this discussion every other month :DDD
No. 52267
>because most people need explanations these days?
Oh come on, you know damn well that's not what I am talking about.
I am talking about stuff like that whore who walked around with a mirror and let people touch her cunt. In no frame of reference would that not need an explanation as to what is the message here. Same when she put paint eggs in her cunt and pushed out over a canvas.
No. 52269
53 kB, 677 × 771
Post Modern art is in the extreme that you seem to view art as being which is why I brought it up, you are constantly saying that 'art has to represent something' or that 'drawing a girl in a skirt a million times cannot be art' this is the ideology of modern art. It's creating something hideous and stupid and then attaching a ludicrous meaning to it and saying it has never been done before.

Now art as a loose term describes any creation or media, the etymology however comes from craftsmanship, skill and artistry, It refers to the act(one might say the art) of making something and the skills needed to do it. So for me personally, I would remove any supposed deep meaning to the product and instead say that art really is about quality and how good it can look, post modern art and even modern art in many cases fail at this. Anime artworks on the other hand do not.

And wow, calm down. Drawing is hard, maybe you feel like you are not getting anywhere now but keep at it and I am sure you too can draw something visually appealing and not feel so self conscious about it. I don't even post on 4chan. I don't know what you aim to achieve by calling me a 'small brained basic b*tch', it's really disappointing to see(and you attack me for supposedly posting on 4chan yet you post like you come from there yourself).
No. 52272 Kontra
You know that Christian paintings also needed an explanation, ofc same reference must be there, learned. People knew what it meant due to knowing certain symbols etc, which did not came out of nothing. But it's the same with feminist art for instance. If you never dealth with the topics or if you are not able to interpret since your horizon and context knowledge forbids, welp that is not the arts fault but the observers expectation weighting in on his/her experience of art. I'm not familiar with that art, but we are talking more abstract here anyway.
No. 52273
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The process is the other way around, though. You derive meaning from the artwork, rather than projecting meaning into it. It's basic pattern recognition.
Sorry, I do not think I care enough to teach you how to look at pictures, recognize patterns and derive meaning by thinking about what you see. Which is the fundamental ability needed to appreciate art that you lack.

It would be as tedious as teaching someone that a bunch of lines and curves put in sequence can be used to represent words and ideas and shit.
Or trying to explain that moby dick is not literally about some dude hunting down a whale.
Or that you can convey ideas without directly stating them, or that it is sometimes required to convey ideas in such a manner, in order to not cheapen them.
Simply put, you are visually illiterate, so talking about art with you is as futile as writing a letter to a middle age peasant. Or I guess trying to talk about music theory with someone who listens exclusively to nightcore lmao.

I honestly think you're one of them hylics from gnosticism, whose soul is too impoverished to interact with reality beyond face value.

>Anime artworks on the other hand do not.
They all do look like crap, though. Poor shape design, very primitive color palettes, weak linework, generic compositions, mediocre anatomy, and most of them are just the same picture over and over again.
Sure, anime does not usually become outright hideous, but that's because it's hard to fuck up drawing the same picture again. As I said, animation is about efficiency: consistent mediocrity is more easily managed in production, compared to producing something exceptional but rare, with a high chance of failure.

There are some manga/anime artists who actually do have a great sense of composition, style, technical ability, etc., but you still haven't posted one that meets such criteria, which makes me suspect you're basically art-blind. Kinda like how autistic people are face-blind.

I think art is no different from others fields of human intellectual inquiry, in that it is a process of discovery, and sharing those discoveries with your peers and the general public. Understanding of art "develops" through exploration of the "frontier" of our knowledge, just like in math, physics, whatever. So, something once profound can become banal if everyone has already seen it.
Of course, there's also the question of execution. Sometimes, execution fails to live up to the ideas attempted with the piece. Sometimes, execution is top notch, but the ideas are vapid.
And honestly, I can forgive top tier execution without much ideas, if the execution is really, really, really good. Because at some level of technical skill, the structure of the image itself becomes "art". I really like art by this chinese guy, Ruan Jia. Even though he mostly paints generic fantasy MMO stuff, he has such mastery of color, composition, design, atmosphere, shape, brush strokes, etc., that you can enjoy it without caring about what it's depicting. I usually just zoom in 300% and look at the brush strokes. You could cut out a 5cm by 5cm piece of one of his paintings, blow it up and hang it on the wall, and it'd still be very nice to look at.

I don't think I really care about the argument of "representation vs abstract". I see art more like a visual language of shapes, colors and symbols, and mastery of those, regardless of what's being depicted, is what brings me most enjoyment.
Maybe it's the same reason I like instrumental music over vocals, lol.
No. 52274
21,2 MB, 2700 × 3848
I guess my main point is that it's absolutely pointless to separate art into categories of "representational" and "abstract", because those aren't meaningful distinctions on the level of visual "artistic language" (shapes and colors).

For example, it doesn't matter if you interpret pic related as a depiction of landscape, or just random abstract shape, because the beauty of the image comes from the mastery of visual language, not from whether it accurately portrayed a waterfall or not.

I dunno, I find it extremely frustrating to talk to people who don't understand the "language" of a particular art form, and judge it only on superficial qualities.
How do you explain kuleshov effect to a dumbass who only watches transformers movies, for example? How do you convey the idea that the "meaning" of a scene in cinema comes not from the literal content of the frames, but the relationships between the scenes and frames, arranged in a particular way?

Or that the "point" of a work of literature is often not the literal thing that happens in the book, and that subtext exists.

And how do you not get angry when he says something equivalent to "lmao jazz music sucks, because it's not catchy, and you can't dance to the beat, pop music is so much better".

I mean, if you like pop music, or anime, or dumb action movies, fine, whatever. But how about you don't open your mouth on subjects you don't know shit about?
No. 52275
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You talk about understanding art but clearly you yourself are unable to understand it. Different people see the same image in different ways. Your criticism of anime for example, is ludicrous(though you do admit that it's not even entirely correct at least).

The image you posted would be an example of this. It's okay, maybe. I would not save it. I'm not going to say the artist is bad but it's just not to my taste and I am freely able to admit that, clearly the artist has technical ability to some degree at least, there are some issue with the composition but it's not bad. Again, I am not the target audience for it. I am not going to say that is not art just because I do not like it.

>They all do look like crap, though. Poor shape design, very primitive color palettes, weak linework, generic compositions, mediocre anatomy, and most of them are just the same picture over and over again.

I just picked random images from my Touhou folder so it's not the best. But you see that the colour pallets, are better than in you image(in all of the images that I posted), the shape designs is better, the line work is better one thing about the typical anime style is that it is meant to have line work like it does, it makes the details pop, though in this case I picked a bad example of that as the line work is not so stark in these images, but that is another aspect of all this, there are many ways to draw anime images, you are just narrow minded and ignorant, which is to be expected, you are not likely to know about this as you are not that way inclined anyway. The composition is better, you attack them for it but what is the composition in your image there? Demon man kneeling on a rock in hell, wow original. Again, I don't have a problem with unoriginal things, there is nothing new under the sun but to attack something as being generic and then posting that is just silly. Anatomy, again, can be quite detailed and when it is not it is for a specific reason and again, to me that image is the same as countless other fantasy artwork too, nothing new under the sun.

All in all you are just an idiot. You attack me for not having correct art think but clearly you don't even have the correct think you attack me for, you cannot see the art in anime. You are blind.
No. 52276
>For example, it doesn't matter if you interpret pic related as a depiction of landscape, or just random abstract shape, because the beauty of the image comes from the mastery of visual language, not from whether it accurately portrayed a waterfall or not.

Sound like a good description of anime.
No. 52277
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>smeared brush strokes, primitive color composition with no chroma variation, objects janky and mishapen, no focal point on any piece, stiff figures, muddy, dirty rendering, poor form conveyance, incorrect lighting
ok, you really are art-blind sorry.
Like, if those pictures weren't about 2hu, you wouldn't look twice at them, let alone save them. The only reason you like them is because of the subject matter, not the quality of the piece.
Let me guess, you only have an "art folder" for anime, and don't look at any art otherwise. Would explain your low standards.

Also, you don't know what "composition" is. Composition is not about "ideas". It's about the arrangement of shapes on the canvas in a coherent way.
As I said, the piece I posted has no ideas, but it has decent composition, because at least it has a focal point and the shapes guide you through the whole image, rather than your examples, where there's just random figures strewn about the whole canvas, with nothing to guide the eye.
It also has good use of brush strokes (compared to the smeared mess in your examples), lots of color variation, the values are very well organized, and the forms are well rendered.

You need to learn to actually look at art, rather than looking at what it depicts. Here's some more paintings for you, as training. They don't mean anything, but the point is appreciating the language of shapes.

It would be, if anime art looked good, but it's don't.
No. 52279
17 kB, 256 × 243
on a side note, I actually have to thank the aussie for getting me to talk about art for the first time in half a year or so. And making me feel passionate about it.

I think EC in general is too friendly, we need more autistic shit-talking, and people with diametrically opposed views. Because anger is the greatest inspiration, and confrontation is fuel for ideas.

In fact, I feel so inspired that I'm going to go out and buy art supplies on my upcoming paycheck, and get back to painting in force.

Thanks, retard.
No. 52280
Sure, the symbology needs to be explained to someone "not initiated", but if you look at e.g. a pieta or mater dolorosa, you will have a connection to it. You understand that it's a woman mourning her man or son.
If you take something like Da Vinci's Last Supper, the composition, colors and all that have a very immediate effect on you and even if you're not well versed in the passion story, you will understand that this is not just some kind of dinner party, but a very important dinner party.

Stuff like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKFZOIv5sS0 is not understandable without being on seven layers of postmodernist feminism or maybe just being plain insane. And I refuse considering this "art".
I also remember a piece from the National Portrait Gallery in London where some I think photograph drew Amy Winehouse or something with a pencil. It was a horrible piece of ugly shit, and was put up there only because of this dude's name. It was simply a fucking doodle. It had neither craftsmanship NOR a message. Modern art is a joke and a scam and nobody can convince me of anything else.
No. 52281
16,1 MB, 4000 × 6571
Whoever you are quoting is an idiot but whatever I'll ignore that for now.

I have a folder for original works too.... Here we go, ZZY 949 so almost 1000, this also does not include military images or other subgenres. Most anime artwork is fan art and so based on the character of a show however.

Clearly it's you that doesn't know composition or focal points... I never said it was about ideas either. Your image was a guy kneeling on a rock with a drab background, not much interest and not much to differentiate or pull the attention of the viewer. Even in the random images I posted, look at the one of Aya and Cirno and the train, the composition draws the viewer into the image.

>where there's just random figures strewn about the whole canvas

It's not though, you just can't see it you talk about these subjects but you clearly don't understand what you preach And it's far more coherent than your doll image.
No. 52283
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Can we get our terminology straight pls.
Pic related is "modern art". As you can see it's very varied because it encompasses like a century of art history.

What you posted, I don't know what it is tbh, but it definitely has nothing to do with "modernity" in its historical meaning.
No. 52287
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You don't have any non-anime art on your hard drive. ok.
Maybe you should, then at least you'd have a frame of reference on what good composition actually looks like.
Tiny figures on various parts of the canvas, with not overlapping objects, is very boring composition.
It's also incredibly generic. Figure on left side looking at focal point in the middle, surrounded by nature.
What's this, TLOU concept art?

>thick, black, unsteady lineart on rendered piece of with bad lighting
No. 52289 Kontra
>Modern art is a joke and a scam and nobody can convince me of anything else.

Yeah, that is why I don't need to argue with confirmation bias now, too exhausting. You already discretized in dichotomies were one site is insanity, nothing too surprising from a meta standpoint btw since this is western history bread and butter tbh. You don't see the discourse you are moving in.
No. 52294
Tullio Crali? Fuck yeah. Love his shit. It's sad that Fascism ruined Futurism. I love the presentation of a moment in time being dynamic and in transition, and not just a still frame of the world.
No. 52295
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Forgot pics.
No. 52296
I took care of a friend today cause he’s a bit depressed. I say taking care because when we hang out, I do it more to make things fun for him than for me. To put it in mild terms I don’t really appreciate his company. He’s always suffering for not knowing what to say and is unable to make any story interesting. I confessed to someone who doesn’t know him that I was more taking care of a friend than spending sincere good time. And he told me that I was a paternalistic liar and a mean person for doing this and putting it as taking care of the person. I don’t know if he was right. What am I supposed to do ? I’m tired of having annoying people around me. I can quit the happy ones pretty easily but it’s way harder for the ones who are sad. I feel responsibility for protecting them, I know this kind of feel also strikes other people. A solution being, while we are in a group of friends, just stop seeing him outside this group.
No. 52297
I stopped caring about emotional extortion long ago. You can't fix them, it's not tour job to do, and moreover some of them use it to be emotionally manipulative. The worst are those "I'll kill myself if you break up with me" types. You can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves and it isn't your job to do so. You should just have a frank talk with him about finding help.
No. 52302
4,4 MB, 3000 × 2010
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I do actually have non anime art. I don't think it matters though, you seem to have non anime art and clearly don't know good composition.
No. 52303
>Tiny figures on various parts of the canvas, with not overlapping objects, is very boring composition.
>It's also incredibly generic.

No there is nothing wrong with it and and as I said before generic or not is irrelevant and your posted images are quite generic as well so it may be in your best interest to stop using your favourite word for a moment less you look silly.

>Figure on left side looking at focal point in the middle, surrounded by nature.
>What's this, TLOU concept art?

I don't know what TLOU is.
No. 52306
Both my air mattresses are deflated and sprung holes which means I'm lying on the flattened out ones but with enough air left that me lying down pushed the remaining air downward to make an air bag that's propping my legs up. This sensation is profoundly and inexplicably comfy having my legs propped up on cushions of air like that.
No. 52311
I kind of agree, you should tell them to get help. Yet leaving people alone because they offer nohting but a burden right now is wrong. You should hang out less, if you meet often.
No. 52317 Kontra
5 kB, 284 × 177
I thinking about opening a thread that deals with digital cultures what that means could be an issue of discussion already. Would I be the only one updating it? It might be used as a record of a research trajectory but for discussions as well ofc. Dunno. Also it will be about cybernetics.
No. 52339
367 kB, 1024 × 768
The idea that I'll never produce anything worthwhile or notable is getting to my head. Mediocrity seems to be the best I can strive for.

Perhaps there is still time, there is still a possibility I'll make something that can justify my existence.
No. 52366
27 kB, 512 × 512
Think of it this way: Half of the people wish (or should wish) that they were mediocre. Mediocrity has a wrongful bad reputation, there's literally nothing wrong with it. I think the better way to approach this is getting fun out of things you suck at - that's a thing certainly not everyone can do.
>there is still a possibility I'll make something that can justify my existence.
Oh boy, for that you'll have to cure cancer or set your foot on Mars, Just reaching the top 5% in any given skill won't cut it I'm afraid. Better not tie your self worth to goals that are ridiculously hard to achieve and still won't help you with your problem even if you achieve them. You'd likely still feel pretty average, because as soon as you achive something you will believe that it wasn't that hard, because you could do it. also the better you bwecome, the more you realize all the things you still can't do. That's why true experts rarely run around and brag with their skills. Things that you can do never look like excellence to yourself, but only to others who can't.

If you still want to be the undisputed greatest at something you could strive for making a radio show which has 19+ listeners. This will make you the god of the radio for all eternity.
No. 52368
I think both of you view the matter too introspective. You only consider what YOU could do for YOURSELF (for argument's sake let's omit stuff like "cure cancer" and "achieve world peace" and all that magical wish thinking). And since there are so many things you can be good in, you will, by definition, always suck at most things.
BUT, have you ever considered what kind of impact you have on other people's lives? The idea of justifying anything is to create or yield a profit of any kind. There has to be a gain somewhere. And being human that gain, in my opinion, should first and foremost be to make the world an overall better place. This means helping others. Not out of altruism, because that doesn't exist in people - helping people simply feels good, but it has the added bonus of actucally improving things. And if you have just helped some granny on the supermarket get something from a high shelf, you have effectively improved her day and thus her life, which would not have happened if you didn't exist.
Thus your existence is already justified.
I have actually thought about this a lot. I had a phase where I also pondered the utter lack of meaning in my life and how I could give myself a purpose by sacrificing myself for a greater good. There is no war of defense to be fought (openly) today, so I used to have fantasies about saving a child from drowing and drowning myself, or grabbing it infront of a bus and throwing it onto the pavement so the bus will only get me. That way my existence would have had a purpose.
Then I realized that I don't need to be a(n) hero for that and that I should just try to be a decent person. I don't think life has an inherent meaning, so I try to make the best of it.
No. 52400
That feel when even people you wouldn't expect are overheard going on about how being forced to wear a mask is "unconstitutional." I think this has permanently altered my view of things in a way very little else could. It's not just the stupidity of all that on its own, or the fact these people did not want to restore but rather overthrow the Constitution in favor of installing a Napoleon like monarch, but rather the combined fact of how many of these people at once lick the boots of cops no matter how flagrantly tyrannical that all is. It's gotten to the point I really have to question my libertarian beliefs a lot deeper than I already had. These people are stupid. Not just a little stupid, but profoundly so. To this day people say things to me offhandedly about a "fake virus" which is aggravating even more so because I despise lies and lying like little else, and it's the same who said to me with a straight face "no we mean the media portrayal is a hoax." I don't like watching my leg being pissed on then asked why I pissed on my leg. I thought things would chill but instead even in budding spring of 2021 I feel as though I were transported to medieval France. I must suffer the most stupid and absurd superstitions of the bydlo, whose views I come to find are so alien to me it's practically like a different people, a different culture, an alien society full of tyrants and stupid people I do not understand. It's not to say even they can't be decent, they are only human afterall, but it deepens my sense of them being NPCs like I ranted about a couple times on old KC with shitposters from vierkanal. There is a limit to which you can take a person and their beliefs seriously, beyond which it's harder and harder to assume they'd pass the Turing test.

I feel as though I have a newfound clarity about the situation, broadly nationally as well as my own. Building the kind of capital and connections I'd need to fully extricate myself will be a monumental challenge.
No. 52405
Not necessarily true. Hell even Mike Tyson just got into boxing because he was a quiet kid with a lisp who finally lost his shit on some hooligan taking his pet pigeon and twisting its head off. Mike always had this mentality of not being strong or good enough, which is a pretty good way to end up overcompensating without realizing it. You'll eventually end up being that person at the top just because you're driven not by competing with people running beside you, but the inward sense you're always behind even when you're way ahead. Now Mike has all the pet pigeons he wants and no one can do a damn thing about that fact

So I guess the moral of the story is, never just be satisfied with yourself or what you did as "just good enough" and one day you'll have over a thousand pigeons.

My personal goal this summer is for befriending a crow or group of crows. I think that if I gain the trust of one he'll get me in with his crow social circle. I just need to be careful not to offend the crows or they'll all start talking shit about me and be like "oh that guy, in the slippers? Yeah that's ernst. Fuck that guy. He lunged at cawcawl once. We should shit on his porch again."
No. 52494
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Cant work with my Laptop for a few days but i have to take notes. Reading on mobile Phone will be pain in the Ass, might borrow a Laptop. Also It's funny that my mobile autocorrect english into capital Letters thanks to german word Pool.
Should i dowwnload tiktok because i have non of my bookmarks available. Ec is a huge difference already, hate the tiny Layouts alltogether, Surfing isnt fun this was, how can people manage? Getting used to it? Tiktok will Provide me with entertainment if i can train the Algorithms fast enough
No. 52495
4,3 MB, 400 × 400, 1:54
I probably shouldn't have taken the pain pill with a bottle of bock beer.
And also not poured myself a whisky right after.
I am getting a bit sick in the stomach right now.
Someone answer plz, EC is so fucking slow at the moment, it's almost unbearable.
No. 52496 Kontra
Also, I just listened to "In the middle" by Jimmy Eat World and got a nostalgia feel and right now I am listening to "The kids aren't alright" and got a really melancholic, sad feel. 30+ Ernsts, has your life turned out at least kinda how you imagined it as a kid?
No. 52498
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I can not even remember what i dreamed of back then. When did i löst my dreams? I remember i wanted to work on a scrap Yard as Kindergarden kid.
Just yesterday i saw a grandma with her grandson and He was asking her wwhat Strange car they were passing (an ugly pimped Honda).Made me remember how i "impressed" my grandma (god bless her in heaven) by telling her all the car Brands while on the streets, it also reminded me that i had mutipled bags of plastic streets signs which i used to play with. Is that a german Thing? Just a big with some 10-20 streets signs up for sale in a supermarket?
Pic related: street signs
No. 52499 Kontra
I did not cross the 30 yet btw, but it wont take that long anymore
No. 52500
I was a total Indiana Jones fan and wanted to be an archeologist. Then I wanted to be a jet pilot; sadly my dumb eyes fucked me over. I am still interested in aero/astronautics, but eventually settled for my third goal, being a scientist. Sadly the university circus ruined science for me. But it's a road I took over ten years ago and now I had to pull through to the end. At least with a PhD jobs are easier to come by; provided I finally manage to write that shit down.
That said, I never cared for any signs, in fact, I hate signs. I also think it's less of a german thing and more of a (You) thing.
No. 52502
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They changed the radio station at my gym. Now, instead of listening to classic 80's, I get music from Meghan Trainor, All American Rejects, and Ed Sheeran. Meh, not as good, tbh. And I will definitely miss hearing Queen.

>i had mutipled bags of plastic streets signs which i used to play with. Is that a german Thing?
I played with a lot of Matchbox™ stuff(cars, ramps, garage sets), but don't recall having street signs. Maybe there were small ones, like stop signs to use in setting up a road, etc.
No. 52509
We need more annoying cunts like the halfwit anime aussie on this board, honestly it livens the place up.
Never been a fan of that whole gay "polite discussion" crap, we need shitstorms and arguments.
Art through adversity

Any ideas on how to find more such specimens?
No. 52510
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All anime enthusiasts are by their very nature retarded at best, and at worst they're transvestite groomers. As a rule if someone attaches their chinese cartoons to their post I just scroll past, it's well established they have nothing to say worth reading.

I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss polite discussion here though, because EC is one of the last imageboards where it exists. If you were to 'liven this place up' it would be a slippery slope to nothing but
>ur a retard m8
>no ur a fukken retard kill urself
>rent free

.... which is basically what every discussion on 4chan, 4kohl and other popular imageboard amounts to
No. 52511
2,3 MB, 4032 × 1960
Trying dr pepper for the first time in my life in front of gaudy soviet building
Its fugging 1.5 usd which is 5 times the cost of normal soda per volume, so it better be good.
No. 52512
What can you tell me about Idaho?
No. 52513
Update: its pretty good
No. 52514
807 kB, 1080 × 2220
Very handy image
My cousin is asking me to do her english homework again, and I noticed she has an anime avatar
So I had to

I'm actually genuinely worried because being into anime puts you in the same social circles as 35 year old perverts, incels and kohlfaces.
No. 52516 Kontra
No. 52517
The only argument against anime you need:
Ask yourself, "Would I like my son/daughter little brother / little sister to be into anime?"
The answer is obviously no. You want them to be a normal person instead.
Such cases.

oh wait, people who watch anime will never breed lmao
No. 52518 Kontra
I agree with Ireland on that. While the discussion might be TOO polite from time to time when it's appropriate to call someone a retard, I'd rather have the Ernstkanal die than to mutate into another shitflinging refuse collector.
No. 52519
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Isnt it sad that when I feel a cool spring breeze smelling of leaves, the memory that it evokes is not of a past love, or time with my family, but of farming motes of shadow in nagrand with windows open?
I have wasted the best years of my life on utter crap
No. 52524
>What can you tell me about Idaho?
It's known for growing potatoes, but other than that is irrelevent to the larger American culture. That's a good thing. A place for farming, etc, like Wyoming. Small towns, a couple small cities. Go there to escape, and live a simple life. The American dream. To escape America, without actually leaving America.
No. 52525
The number of memories I have which actually involve other people is pathetically small. Funny thing is, those memories are disproportionatly significant, because there is no competiton with new memories.

Like how you remember waiters, but they don't remember you because they see so many people. I remember small things people did, said, and there is no way it stuck with them. Even if it mattered at the time, it was overwritten by a decade of newer shit. But not for me. Livin' in my head, man. Gonna go for a walk now. Earbuds in, will say maybe a half dozen polite words to randoms.
No. 52527 Kontra
No. 52528 Kontra
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No. 52531
I could breed if I wanted to... I don't want to now though. Once I was going to become an Infantry officer launch a coup and start a dynasty and find a wife to breed with but then I got a sporting injury and the ADF would not accept me. Why start a dynasty anyway? The world is corrupted. I'll donate my wealth to the Tunisian cat society.

Procreating is no achievement, all you are doing is placing an innocent into this awful world. The World started ending in 1918. But maybe if I succeed in my efforts to become immortal then I will, immortality would grant me the time I need to truly amass the wealth for a dynasty, plus I could clone a wife from myself as she would be the only person worthy of me.
No. 52532 Kontra
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No. 52534
It's really sad. It's like watching someone leave Church of Unitology or Heaven's Gate or Moonies or something for the first time since childhood, and they're completely oblivious to just how fucked up their little insular shithole culture has ultimately made them. Every single last one of them is literally incapable of writing a good post or having a genuine original thought, and when they finally try to write something other than "dilate" "kys" etc. for once, a shitpost like this is all that comes out.

Oh lord is this false. Have you guys ever even been to smalltown America? It is a shithole. I grew up in one. What it actually means is rampant poverty and ignorance. If you somehow escaped the meth and heroin epidemics, a fifth of the entire town will be incorrigible drunks. I can understand why we rewrote the Constitution over it. Alcoholism is by far one of the shittiest drug addictions ever to witness, except it doesn't get treated as such because hurr it's only alcohol it's legal it's not like doing drugs durrr. I've seen so many lives and so much of society ruined by it and it just gets swept under the rug and never talked about.

Also no, it really isn't, unless you're some kind of city boy. They're all part of the same broader trash American culture, only its a different sector of the polarized partisan one that's every bit as bad if not far worse than the rest. There's nothing quaint or pretty about it. I can absolutely understand why people like Sarah Blake ran away from their cornfields to become a pornstar. Doing BDSM porn like that gay Spanish bernd is literally better than staying in that shitty smalltown life. It's so fucking godawful it reminds me that post I think Kazakhstan made years ago where he said
>you don't understand. Islam is such. SHIT. You wouldn't even believe it
It's one thing being outside looking in from thousands of miles away, and quite another to live it. That is the kind of rampant ignorance, gossip, hypocrisy, assholery and complete degeneracy of soul heart and mind that spawned crap like Qtards. Many of them are well meaning...just like many Muslims and woketards. Their being well meaning is in spite of, not because of, the trash culture in which they were raised.

No smalltown rural America is so fucking awful I have nothing but dark memories of it. You see it and just think about fishing trips with grandpa and summers in the fields making out with some QT3.14. Grandpa is dead. I see children being beaten and finding out the girl was molested. I remember all the numerous molested kids. I remember the hiding behind furniture in terror to not get beaten by a drunk. I see buzzing flies and mosquitoes while everyone is lying around high setting things on fire because there's literally nothing else to do there. I see sixteen year olds bringing their kids to HS graduation, and being proud of it, like getting a HS diploma is an actual achievement, which I guess it is because 20% of my class dropped out already. I see people staring at you in the eye as you drive by because we don't recognize that car and wonder what you are even doing here. Who are you? I hear the stupidest bydlo shit imaginable, a town of people willing to be rused by the next Zionist snakeoil salesman from a big city, they think because he sounds like a fifth grader he's one of us, and we just keep getting ripped off.

I see tears and crying and yelling and broken dreams. I see all the people I once knew swinging from the their closet beams and the tree branches like strange fruit.
I see a town filled to the brim with dark secrets boiling over and filling the gutters with sewage and semen and blood.
No. 52535
makes me think of all the small town america novels I've read. It's fascinating, because it has an aesthetic of its own, but the life depicted had some depressive layer to it, the pursuit of happiness getting stuck, crushed. Well also melancholic to me, life passes and there is nothing you can do about that, reality hits your face, I don't say there are ways out of a life like that, but potentiality does not mean everything is possible.

I had korean chupa chup soda and I want more of it, but I don't want to go the store again. I also borrowed a shitty laptop, the keyboard layout is shit, it has tablet mode only (cannot be changed because it is a compy laptop that got dicarded) which probably is responsible for changed in the gui I don't understand, something I do must activate window switching, from destop I get to the windows tablet menu. At least I will be able to take notes more or less properly if the keyboard wouldn't be that shit and the window shift would occure less often.
I said that TikTok will provide me with entertainment, but training the algorithm is hard work and I cannot be arsed to invest that time, if you don't do this and find your approved content the app is utter shit, it's the worst pleb crap if untrained, holy fucking shit I tell you guys, feels like the comedown after a drugs night, this is the fucking reality? I also came across chinese "humor", feels like 1950s european staged comedy films for the masses, to be fait that kind of humor also exists in other countries as Tiktok let me knew. The app also seems a good indicator for rampant opinions and believes in greater society, if you train your algorithm right, you can find cool stuff, but I now know why I watched compilations on youtube, it already pre selects the better stuff for me.
No. 52536
48 kB, 800 × 600
>It's one thing being outside looking in from thousands of miles away, and quite another to live it
To me, rural America is Summer trips to my Grandmother's house, a go-kart powered by a lawnmower engine, and a road that only sees a few cars an hour. Going fishing, getting your car stuck in mud, and then walking an hour to the nearest gas station. An hour of beautiful emptiness.

And there you have it. On one side: the rural mythology, shaped by idyllic memories, which lives in the head of city-folk. On the other: the harsh reality of an extended stay.

Spent the last ten minutes browsing TikTok- on the web, not installing. Yeah, pleb crap. Still, had one laugh from the group. Probably some good stuff buried in there, but what rises to the top will be whatever appeals to the lowest common denominator.
No. 52537
Thanks for bringing up islam
Had a discussion with my uncle about islam a few weeks ago.
I said how being a muslim does not at all guarantee being a good person, and he looked at me like I was dumb and said "of course. being muslim has nothing to do with being a good person. by definition, a muslim is someone who believes in no god but allah, that muhammad(pbuh) is his prophet, and devotes himself to servitude/slavery to allah".
As in, there's no concept of morality or good/evil in Islam. Islam doesn't care if you're a good person or bad or about anything, really. The only quality it recognizes in man is servitude to Allah, that's it.
All the dogma and rules on how to live in Islam are not justified as "virtuous" or "good", or whatever. You're supposed to follow the ways of life because, and only because, Allah told you to. There is no claim made that there's a component of "good" in the rules. Allah is beyond good and evil, and literally amoral. He does not care about anything but servitude.

Say what you want about christianity, but at least there's an attempt made there for some moral argument. Islam is not concerned with morality at all. It's actually quite frightening.

There is a concept of "justice" in islam, though, and several passages mention how "everyone will get what they justly deserve" in the afterlife. But what is meant by "justly deserve" also has nothing to do with morality or goodness, it has to do with laws and rules.
It's actually quite fascinating to think about. I don't think Islam counts as a religion in my understanding. There's absolutely no attempt at spirituality, morals, ideology, metaphysics, philosophy, etc. It's literally just pure dogma with nothing else.
No. 52538
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Holy shit Ernst, have you actually had a single positive thought since the china plague started? Also, you bemoan the smalltown experience because yours was shitty, but that doesn't mean it's the law. And you have not provided an alternative.
I also grew up in bumfuck nowhere. My elementary school teacher went to jail a few years ago because he diddled the girls. Drunks, people who move one village away and that's the most they do. Dumbfucks and ugly girls (because the good ones are "instantly" picked off the dating pool). Yet, after living in different cities (and big cities) I really prefer rural life to city life. I hate cities like nothing else, I hate city dwellers, I hate the utter lack of character and culture, I hate the oppressiveness of all those buildings, I hate the lack of nature, I hate the cars, the noise, the streets, the trash, the smell and everything else about it.
Having to live in one of the world's important cities, that would be hell for me. Pic related is Tokyo. Only buildings, right to the horizon. You have to be mentally ill to enjoy living in such a place and if you're not, you will become.
If I weren't bound to civilization by certain human obligations, I would have already fucked off somewhere into the woods. I know that's rich coming from someone lurking on an imageboard, but I have spent periods in the past without a computer or internet, and I haven't had a TV in over ten years, I certainly could make do as a hermit.
No. 52539 Kontra
>Spent the last ten minutes browsing TikTok- on the web, not installing.

Does it have the same feel of the app, I mean do you have an endless stream of videos by swiping your finger upwards? Might be just like when first time using the app, the fyp (for you page), an endless stream for you, curated by the algorithms, tweaked by registering your behavior from then on.

I bought sweets, japanese noodle cups and Dr Pepper (prosit brick), rate my depression. I have a desire to dissolve my identity, to get rid of myself.

also dating issues, keinernst welcome
We agreed on meeting, we haven't done much before, only once with mutuals and accidently in uni. She explicitly asked me to see her back at the first meeting. Got cold feet because depression, then we accidently met and I did text her afterwards, we did not talk much and she was silent for a few days then out of the blue asking to do something. So we went for a walk, It wasn't really flirty. Yet I want to ask her again for meeting up, dunno, I kinda like her I guess. But I don't know if this was a date or just "we are new to town/uni, need to know people" kinda thing. Wanna ask her for a meeting, wanna talk to her but I feel I'm depressed as fuck, feel like everything I say is stupid and I don't want to be rejected. What to do? She might have facade hiding her depressive character, I'm not sure tbh. She watches Adam Curtis, reads books and all that, immediately called some of my behavior - I quote - "lonely boy phenomenology", not sure if she was shy or bored at times, given her greetings are quite shy, it might be the former. But that only leads me to wanting to know what world is behind that, that we can drop these we disciplined outward expressions.
No. 52540
Nobody uses me. It’s more me who want to take care of people with problems. I have a few theories on why I do that but one of the reasons is probably that, being the first born of my family I had to take care of my younger brothers but they don’t need me at all anymore so I try to take of other people.
I hope that if someone tries to manipulate me I’ll have the common sense to just get away. But it never happened to me.

I also just found out I could be attractive and I feel very weird about it. Never thought of my physical appearance in my entire life.
No. 52541
635 kB, 1200 × 1737
>do you have an endless stream of videos by swiping your finger upwards?

Yeah, it's like that. I used the mobile site. Pic related. Desktop version looks different.

The sweets and soda are classic depression fare, and the noodles say "I don't have the energy to cook". Replace that with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for maximum regression back to happier times.
No. 52542
I've changed my sleep schedule and been waking up early lately but tbh it sucks, so I'm staying up late now to get back into cozy 4am til noon sleep schedule. I feel like I'm much more relaxed & focused at night.

Connected my speakers for the first time in months and really enjoying music much more now again, it's really a world of a difference compared to laptop/phone speakers or even good headphones.

I picked up some magic truffles and wanna try those this weekend, especially if the weather will be nice. Haven't done any psychedelics in years but somehow I got the urge to give it a try again after reading the Castaneda book.

>I don't know if this was a date or just "we are new to town/uni, need to know people" kinda thing
Pretty sure it's kind of a fluid difference in most cases

>She watches Adam Curtis
Somehow that's a great way to characterize a person, I almost read it like a lyric being sung :D

Anyways, I suppose if you're already aware that you're depressed, it's a matter of weathering through it now...

>It’s more me who want to take care of people with problems.
I mean, that's a good thing, you don't really have to go through some mental gymnastics of psychologizing to explain it (even if there might be something to it). Of course it can also be pathological, esp. when you can't take care of your own problems, but if you can help some people sometimes, why not do it.
No. 52543
Where are the good and original posts you have written? I don't see any.
No. 52545
Oh ho ho you just wait boyo. I've had about a day worth of sleep spread across an entire week and it's inevitable that I'll sooner than later enter that trance like state of being effectively drunk from being sleep deprived where I end up feeling like waxing poetic and being pretentious yet again.

>that first couple paragraphs
Way to debunk my central point. I'm not going to say anything about Germany because I am not German by nationality :--DDDD I got a whole collection of black market heritage to sell you about but though I could imagine at least an Osti having some real horrorshow, it is definitely true that once a poor white countryboy, always one. You can take him out of the doublewide but never take the doublewide out of him, and I'll never stop being a gun rights supporter as a result, nor stop loathing city shit.

However all that being stated I am also never going to stop hating and despising it and all that reminds me of it. I suppose I too have that syndrome I suspect said pornstars like Blake have, that cornpone fear of being reminded of it like Lecter detected in Clarise and I spend all my time hanging out with autists and nerds from other countries and none of my time with at this point with other Americans as a result of it. Indeed it's only fun or just barely tolerable when you are in fact liquored up. I boy walking to work today I had a whole spiel in my head but I subsequently forgot all of it and my mood shifted because I am home now witj
Ah fuck I burned my pizza
With little ability to even recall things, if indeed I deigned to try and access any repressed memories to begin with but holy shit I am going to blast this thread later if I begin dwelling on it.

As to what you said about preferring it, it reminds me very much of what my Russian professor once said to me. I said to him Nikolai, it is true what they say, that, Russia is shit? And he tells me, yes, Russia indeed it is shit. But then, everywhere else also is shit.
>anything positive
No. It is shit. A SHIT.

Oh no deja vu. Something in the timeline just got altered.

It likewise reminds me of reading something somewhere, possibly casey, where someone was talking about spending a week in America, and their description of it. They talked about how generous and effusively nice everybody was to them, but about how it all felt so plastic ultimately, and that the more time they spent there the more dystopian everything feels, like watching some perfect looking life with a perfect house and subtly starting to notice the cracks in the wall, the paint peeling off, the weird hushed tones. I sadly cannot recall anything now except that their description really reminded me of how visiting New England college towns feels, like it's just this wonderful surface layer of happiness and rays of sunshine and joy, but with something depressing and horrifically dark the deeper you dig beneath the surface, until it feels like you'll start finding genocide and warcrimes and Lovecraftian terrors. I found certain similar feels between the West Coast plastic smiles of LA tier places and New England college towns, but somehow different. Almost like one is moldy and filled with ghosts and unspeakable nonhuman spirits and the other filled with murders and occultists and Illuminati, but at the end of the day they both felt like a hive of witchcraft right beneath the Stepford smiles. That's the best way to describe it all really--the American smile. The Stepford smile. I recall the vague sense of unease that began setting in for him around day five, and that by the time he left while he enjoyed his stay greatly, he didn't know if he'd ever come back, and certainly didn't want to live here.

I suspect this is just a problem with us here generally and it's just that I fixate more on how shitty I see my particular experience, because I didn't get the joys of growing up a hoodrat or some upper class gangster mansion in NJ or upper middle class Evangelical gossip circle outside Dallas or whatever separate life experiences people have.

I'm not saying it's better in Europe because I know Nikolai's law is truth: is shit? Yes very, but also so is all else.

So in other words it's basically just like omegle, only the youtube version? I know a lot of attentionwhoring happens that but also pets and apparently dancing. Sometimes I think about actually learning discord and tiktok and instagram and all that stuff although everything I've seen of any of it looks exceedingly cancerous with the exception of tiktok. Dunno why. Is it kind of like an old imageboards feel? Because my life was changed permanently for the worse once I started getting into /b/ and I've been a digital vagabond since then. I still miss LiveJournal though.
No. 52549
I live in a small country town too. It depends greatly on what town and in what area. I live somewhere that is quite green for Australian standards and not actually that far form the city. It's filled with rich people raising horses and setting up vineyards. It's probably the best place to live in the state(though that is not saying much).

However, as you leave this area and go to drier, more remote lands I believe that remote small town issues could become a factor. After all, who would live in an arid and remote town 3 hours form the nearest city? Probably nobody with any sense or the ability to leave, that and old people and farmers.
No. 52552
Damn Ernst, you should really get help. And I don't mean that in a deriding "kill yourself schizo" way.
Anyhow, what I was trying was to find connections or some kinds of similarities, because after all, rural life is almost universal everywhere. You might have country-specific retardation, but stuff like teen moms, drunks and such are universal. Sandpeople have goatfuckers, even african bushman villages have their village idiot. People laugh about dick jokes everywhere. Everyone, even the australian Aborigines, who only managed to invent a stick otherwise, have their own special music instrument.
Music, sex and laughter are THE most universal sentiments in the world and every single human is affected by them in one way or another.
Of course, there are always layers partly obscuring that, like in the US with its insane people, or in cities with the people being ashamed of their own country, trying to become rootless and homogenized.

No. 52553
4,7 MB, 4032 × 1960
Ugliest fucking tree Ive ever seeen
No. 52554
No. 52555 Kontra
NO U! All trees are beautiful.
No. 52557
156 kB, 720 × 1280
23 kB, 482 × 295
At the library.
About to read the epic of gilgamesh in kazakh translation
No. 52558
Holy fugg why are there so many pretty girls at the library.
Lmaoing @ the normies going to night clubs n shit to meet chicks, not big brain enough to find the good farming spots
No. 52559
121 kB, 558 × 546
No. 52561
No. 52562 Kontra
Right in da feels.

t. library still closed, rotting at home
No. 52563
I thought normies go to nightclubs for one night stands, not for relationships. At least the super-normie dude at my workplace usually went there for that purpose.
No. 52565
Dang dude, I knew you mentioned meds gave you bad side effects, but honestly I'd take the mental retardation from sedatives over the absolute havoc that sleep deprivation wreaks on the brain.
And I suspect it's permanent, too, because I feel like I lost like 10 IQ points forever from being sleep deprived for months on end.

I'd try to make myself sleep by all means necessary if I were you.
No. 52573 Kontra
It's a springtime seasonal thing and I ended up passing right out and slept for like ten hours lastnight. Usually it's the Spring daylight changes that lets me know spring is here when everything desychronizes and I get bad insomnia, which if it becomes a hard enough period usually fueled by a deadly cycle of needing coffee at work the only things which knock me out are antipsychotics, and alcohol. Neither of these is remotely worth it versus a bit of insomnia. Besides which I historically had my best creative periods in that mode.

Today I had off so I am spending all day cleaning and doing chores that I neglected in the week, and making phonecalls I'd been meaning to.

Vis a vis my hatred for smalltown life, that's permanent.
No. 52578
I have completely failed to bond with my cousins.
I think I'm going to drop the whole nice friendly uncle routine and just start trolling them for entertainment.

I mean I don't know why I had such a pathetic ambition in the first place. I remember when I was a kid, I also occasionally met some semi-distant relatives in their 20s 30s who I thought were perfectly decent people I suppose, but at the time I couldn't give any less of a shit about them if I tried, because I didn't even know them and they were outside of my world. I didn't think they were cool or interesting, I didn't think about them at all.

So why would I expect to be treated any differently?
I just wish they'd stop pestering me about their english or computer class homework while I'm trying to get shitfaced or masturbate.

I don't know how it happened that I have a such a cynical and caustic outlook on life internally, but my external behavior is that of a spineless doormat. People ask me for help when they need it, get it, then forget about my existence until they need something again.
But beggars can't be choosers, so I'm going to hang on to my only source of external validation.

Perhaps I shouldn't complain about being "used" when I have never even asked for help or advice from anyone in my life. Maybe that's why I've failed at everything I've attempted.
I think it also reveals a kind of arrogance. It's like I don't think highly enough of others to think are capable of helping me in any way.
No. 52580
Yesterday after waking up I had a coughing fit. No idea why I cough after waking up semi-regularly.
I threw up on an empty stomach, which is kind of a bad thing I think, especially if it tastes bitter, because then it has bile mixed into the acid.

Went and picked up my new glasses. They essentially look the same as the previous pair, but the lenses are stronger.
I was afraid that they wouldn't be able to assemble it before shops close on the 8th due to the newest lockdown scheme.
It's amazing to be able to see in so much detail again.

My birthday gift arrived. Quite late but still welcome. It's a copy of W. T. Mote's Imperial China. Been reading it. The detail is amazing. I don't think I held a history book before that went into detail about the politics of a given emperor before. Usually books just talk about the broader historical processes or the cultural background. This is actual data. I mean it's interpreted and has conclusions attached, but it's still presenting facts (I know this is a very loaded term) instead of burying them under piles of historical processes and broad strokes.
(It's also nice that it's so enormous that despite being a paperback it stays open if I put it on my desk. It's another one of those books my mother would remark you could kill a man with a book that big.)

Everything is closing for two weeks again, except for the essential services like pharmacies, gas stations and grocery stores.
Apparently elementary schools have been open all this time, it's only the HSs and the unis that were closed.
For me personally, nothing changes. No hope that uni will be back to in person classes this semester.
The Orbang says that this will be the most crucial two weeks of the pandemic.
At this point, I don't really care.
(On the other hand, the parents that have elementary school kids are going to commit sodoku if they extend the lockdown.)

Or I'd like to not care if not for the newly arising dilemma of vaccines, because older, at risk family members for some reason keep turning to us to ask Should I get vaccinated?. I mean, what if we tell them to get the vaccine and they die from a complication (because their immune systems are extremely fragile) or we tell them to not have the vaccine and they die from the virus.
The moral implications are colossal, and I don't know if I'm ready for it. (It's a weird chain, grandma phones my mum, they have a chat, and then mum asks me about grandma having getting jab. How the fuck should I know? The only reason I'm being asked is to potentially share the blame. I don't want to share it. I'm glad I can manage my own fucking life.)
I guess it's just part of being an adult that your parents expect to depend on your in things like this. Of course the positive side of this is whenever the family meets and the old folks drink, I get a cup too now, no matter what we drink.
No. 52582
ok, I thought about it some more and I figured it out

I can't form any emotional bonds because despite craving companionship and socialization, I am an autistic retard and can only operate within the paradigm of mechanical transactions of benefit.
like if I transfer enough value towards a person they'll start liking me lmao

but that's not how it works. apparently.
you have to express external bodily signals of affection and shit, and I think do something with your face muscles so that people successfully identify you as an authentic human being instead of a weirdo assburger robot in a skin suit

in fact, if you do the correct body and face movements, you can make people like you without even transferring any benefit, and sometimes even extracting benefit. fascinating

I don't like the idea of it though, so I won't do it
No. 52583
30 kB, 657 × 527
I've quit smoking cold turkey and it was quite rough.
I think my level was like 10-15g tobacco per day.
I failed a bit after 4 days and I'm now stuck with Snus as substitution since 2 weeks and feel great but it seems like that I consume more of it every day.
No. 52586
My mom got really sick from her second vaccine shot. I should have tried to stop her from getting the first one. It was obviously insufficiently studied, and I previously told her my concerns but said that given her age it might make sense, old enough for covid to be a risk but not so old that getting sick from the vaccine is likely to kill her.
No. 52587
3,3 MB, 512 × 640, 0:53
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I've stopped even voicing my concerns over this shit, people look at me like I'm a lunatic for questioning the narrative these days.

I don't think covid is fake, but I think it is massively blown out of proportion and the vaccination is fishy as fuck. I was in a trauma ward for 4 day at the start of January and there was some shady goings on there that I saw with my own eyes. But I've stopped talking about it with people I know because they give me the ''on you're an antivaxxer trump voter or something'' eyes as soon as it is brought up
No. 52588
It probably varies by location , most people I know have concerns with it but the impact here has been limited. In places like the US they may just wish it to be back to normal so much that they ignore any problems. Though Melbourne was hit hard and in the news not long ago politicians were complaining about the spectators at a tennis match loudly booing when the vaccine was brought up.

The vaccine has had a lot of work put into it and a lot of money spent on it and the people that make it are not going to want to releases something to what may be the entire population if that something has potential issues. Having said that, this has been made rather quickly and there is a huge motive to have it out as soon as possible. In my opinion there is a 99% chance that they are perfectly fine for 99% of people but we just can't know for certain. Likewise Covid 19 is easily survivable for 99% of the population but there have been worrying reports of problems persisting well after the virus has been dealt with. Again we just don't know what impact Covid could have long term. But I will not take the vaccine unless I am forced to.

I don't think Covid is blown out of proportion(partly for the possible long term effects), sure it's not dangerous to most people but we can't just let the old people die. Though economically that would be for the best. I wonder how this will effect the economy of the US vis a vis Australia and similar nations with low death rates in the long term. The US now has half a million fewer old people to spend money looking after and half a million old people who are now passing down their wealth to the next generation. Though half a million is still not too large a number for a country of the population of the US, that may even only be 1-2% of old people which may not be enough for too large of an impact.
No. 52589
Angry hawk has attacked magpie in my yard while 20 other magpies were screaming in terror. Magpie managed to escape and run away due my presence which scared off the hawk but magpie had broken wing so it probably RIP by now.
No. 52590
Why did you rob the hawk of its meal?
No. 52591
Pa told me to check what da fug is going on.
No. 52592
I see.
Just this morning some crows were making a racket on the roof right infront of my bedroom window. Crying all the time and jumping around.
No. 52593
You shouldn't interfere with the ecosystem like that!
No. 52598
Fuck that winged cunt. You did the right thing Russia. It can piss off and find something else to terrorize. I watched out for my chipmunks all summer and fall because of a hawk that liked to perch around. Luckily it never attacked my rodents.
No. 52600
It's a Jyaku Niku Kyou Shoku world. Rodentia deserve death.
No. 52601
62 kB, 296 × 572
Speaking of the Jyaku Niku Kyou Shoku world. Our genocidal government is genocide millions of Laurasiatherians as we speak. Simply because our own Fauna are inferior and cannot handle the pressure of more advanced species. Not just our Fauna but our Flora too is the worst in the world, gum trees soak up water, burn readily, are ugly and drop leaf litter that does not break down easily and prevents much life from developing under it. Felines are the most advanced animal, even among Laurasiatherians as is evident by the fact that they have the widest dispersion of any Laurasiatherians, even wider than dogs or foxes due to the fact a cat can acquire the moisture it needs from it's kills in dry environments. Cats are alsom much harder to bait than dogs, cats will not even take bait unless they are starving, they don;t like taking refuse form the ground like a prideless dog would. Cats are more at home in the dry Australian desert than even the animals that have been living here for thousands of years are, when rains arrive in centra Australia animal populations explode, however native animal populations die of again much sooner than cats do.

Who are we to stop natural selection like this? If we let this run it's course in a thousand years the Australian ecosystem will be better for it. Even the native animals will be better for it, they will themselves advance or die but sooner or later cats would get here anyway and it's better they learn to live with that now than later on when cats find another way to get here or when Australia crashes into China.
No. 52602
143 kB, 1024 × 1024
And before anybody says something along the lines of 'well naturally Australian fauna would not be able to survive amongst an abundance of felids and canids, they have no such natural predators and are not used to it'. This is not even true, for much of the time Tasmanian Devils and Tigers were residents of the mainland.
No. 52609
A family member got vaccinatd with Biontech, they say the second one is always heavier, my god, nothing new that people get symptoms from vacchination.

I likely take a vaccine if I can roam around freely, as Australia said, there are some worrying reports of longterm effects with a corona infection. Don't need this shit. Vaccination can always cause problems, nobody said there is no risk, but there is risk in most things you do.
No. 52617
I'm really getting sick and tired of both this pandemic and the winter
No. 52633
Slept today and then woke up
No. 52634
Today I sold my small set of free weights to a 2nd-hand sporting goods store. I only needed them during the Covid lockdown, when all the gyms were closed. Once they reopened, the weights were just taking up space, and I don't like to keep things that I'm not actively using.

This decision isn't without risk. If the virus kicks up and everything closes again, I'll be forced to buy a new set like an idiot.
No. 52635
So you go to the gym to use a set of small weights or you bought them because you couldn't get anything else?
I only go to the gym because I can't put a cage in my apartment, otherwise I would definitely work out at home.
And why not keep the weights in any case? The can't possible take up THAT much space, unless you're neet/student living on 9m².
No. 52645
58 kB, 640 × 480
I was using the free weights at home, since they were my only option after gyms were closed. The weights weren't very effective, tbh. I couldn't focus at home as clearly as I can at a gym. I guess I'm the opposite of you, here. I prefer going out to a designated spot for exercise. That way, when I'm there I know it's only for one thing. No distractions.

>And why not keep the weights in any case?
Even though I had room for them, I try to keep my possessions to a minimum. It's difficult to explain, but if I own something, that thing occupies a small part of my mental space in addition to the object's physical footprint. It's as if my things become an extended part of my being, and I start to feel burdened by them. So anything I can get rid of, I do.
No. 52646
It depends on your state honestly. I fully expect it to start raging out of control in the red states this spring through early summer, particularly the hot ones. If all goes well we could have covid over by late summer.
No. 52647
>It depends on your state
Florida. Obviously Governor DeSantis isn't going to close anything, no matter how bad things get. So my calculation is based on whether there might be a national mandate from the White House. Probably not, imo, so I sold.
No. 52648
Oh yeah you're boned. National mandate or not it's going to be a repeat of last year complete with data suppression and the general public acting like retards while everyone escapes the heat and humidity to be indoors with AC, i.e. same conditions that can make the northeast and upper midwest such a deathtrap in winter. I'm worried about a relative who unwisely chose to leave NYC for Florida. No one wears masks and everyone is retarded from local level to governorship. They're already lifting any local or state mask mandates in retarded states like Texas or readying themselves to this spring, complete with a toddler tier mindset of if you tell me to I'm not gonna. Biden doesn't actually have the authority to enforce it outside federal areas afaik. Your best bet is heightened personal precaution.
No. 52653
Can we talk about regularities regarding imageboards?
Since I have been lurking on the cancerchannel for longer than anywhere else (ever since KC has died), I have based my observations mainly on that, so all following axioms are only valid for a huge imageboard with a high post count and low IQ posters.

>The probability for serious discussion increases with the topical distance of the subject at hand
This means if I open a thread trying to discuss something, it will probably not catch on or be drowned in shitposting. However, if I open a thread for a random topic and e.g. use a picture connected to another topic, the other topic will most likely be discussed in earnesty.

>The OP of a given cringe thread will always be a cringy faggot himself
Anyone who opens a cringe thread is already an embarrassing asshole and open to ridicule, yet they always lack the self-awareness.

I think I had a third one, but I can't remember it. I tried to devise those last night when I was already dead tired.

Does anybody else have any more ideas for laws we can apply to imageboards?
No. 52654
138 kB, 787 × 1027
Wow, what a joke... I hate this country. Also the ADF recently changed the anthem too.
No. 52656
37 kB, 670 × 496
Maybe too obvious to be mentioned, but I think there is an inversely proportional relationship between quality and popularity of an imageboard. Of course there are variations, and there might also be isolated places in a given huge board that maintain a decent quality, but as a rule of thumb this seems to be valid, and it also seems to apply to any kind of online community. It is also noteworthy that this is not valid on popularity ranges close to zero. This means that zero popularity also equals zero quality, and some minimum popularity must be reached to have any meaningful interactions (also known as the EC constant, for what I'd say that /int/ hovers slightly above it while /b/ hovers slightly below).
No. 52658
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Have bee training my TikTok false, you not only have to like things but more importantly tell the app what you don't like. The app makes somehow addictive, it is the opposite of Instagram, people just talk in their phone about all kinds of shit, you have older people once the algorithm knows that you are not interested in dancing teenage girls etc. I unionically spend 12h infront of TikTok (a whole night, also because of depression btw), it was a pleasure somehow as it feels like a Today Thread. Yet a bit more simplified at times as the videos are short. It is true what I read about the fact that people lie in their bed and talk into the camera about what is shit about our society or what internal dialogs a mum has on a day, people are more "close" than on any other social media literally, their face round and obscured by the lense of the camera, Tiktok is (at least in certain bubbles/corners of TikTok) built more like a friend than a shitty competitive display event. Ofc you should not forget it's a profit driven company behind it that gathers so much data it's beyond scary, but once you leave the mainstream it creates a nice feeling of community even though I rarely get the same people over and over again/people that I started following.
But you have to be careful, I think for teenagers and 20 somethings (though there also is Tiktok #over30) it's good to see they are not alone with their thoughts, observations and problems, yet the addictive character of the app will make you feel shit, binge watching on steriods one could say. I could understand that people here say it's crap and celebrate their "boomer" mentality, but seriously, this app is in various ways interesting, socio-analytically spoken and from an entertainment point of view as well. This makes me think of Bernard Stiegler, what is to be done in order to set up a new culture in a digital, one centered around computation. How to handle computation, and is their just one way of computation, if that makes sense. What could a non-capitalist social media look like?
No. 52660
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>99% of any userbase will ignore a thread that doesn't interest them. 1% will enter the thread and announce their disapproval.

Not an original rule, as the concept is already well known.

>Canadian DoD
>Bolster surveillance and defence of Canadian territory, particularly in the Arctic
Wait...what's going on n the Arctic?

>On the first priority, Canada will seek to resolve boundary issues in the Arctic region, in accordance with international law. Our sovereignty over Canadian Arctic lands, including islands, is undisputed—with the single exception of Hans Island, a 1.3-square-kilometre Canadian island which Denmark claims.

>Canadian island which Denmark claims.
Clever wording :D.

Oh, there are also a lot of minerals in the arctic. That's priority 2.


The Hans Island “liquor wars” between Canada and Denmark may be the cutest dispute in history
No. 52661
>99% of any userbase will ignore a thread that doesn't interest them. 1% will enter the thread and announce their disapproval.
Ahhhh yes, that was the one I had in mind.
"I don't care about the topic, but I'll just shitpost anyways".
No. 52662 Kontra
It's actually a well known problem of the corporate media cycle, not just a well known rule of why imageboards became such shitholes. It was especially well known when KC existed. Anyone who starts a thresd with a premise everyone disagrees with gets no replies, because everybone agrees with it and therefore the topic is already considered perfect in the eyes of the community. Meanwhile one person who is either deliberately trolling or genuinely retarded can say something the vast majority disagrees with, and will generate guaranteed replies until enough onlookers think it is an actual "controversy" and begin adding their two cents. This goes on until due to ignorance and tribalism you have created two camps, one needlessly stating the obvious, and the other stating something profoundly stupid and wrong, until it becomes no longer needless but is now needed to refute it. American politics and kultur in particular acts this way until you have such unimaginably stupid things as mask burnings, trannyism, climate change denial, YEC, "nazi man good," and flat earthers, who in the latter case I am positive started out this way as a troll to mock creationists who in turn proved themselves legitimately retarded enough to latch onto the idea.

The problem is in how the algorithms works, with in the case of medis generating ad revenue on clicks now rather than subscription, to where rather than the most accurate and trustworthy sources gaining readership bias it goes towards whoever says the most idiotic and inflammatory thing possible. The problem here being that an alternative is a place like reddit, where it heavily favors the opposite--dittoism--which in turn stifles any kind of creativity and critical thinking until the topic itself is dead and becomes unthinking dogma, which ironically enough 4cancer also does in abundance.

I think that one of the worst added problems was the fact shitholes that for all I can gather are psyops controlled by Picus/the Illuminati/etc took out things like saging a thread. These things were regulators. When a thread got sagebombed it helped right the ship. The fake controversy effect still happened, but not as pronounced, with a moderation team to deal with anything especially cancerous, and if enough of the community disagreed with mods there were ways around it.

That doesn't happen anymore. Instead the main ways to nuke the poster and thread is announcing reports or sages, so simply saying you are saging a topic, or putting in wrong field, gets banned, resulting in effectively shadowbans and people witlessly bumping what is hated by everyone. Meanwhile actual cancerous shit cannot be reported because there's a small menu of reasons to report it, 99% of which is not applicable to shitposters, which in their case used to have a rule "keep /pol/ shit in /pol/" whose absence helped ensure the whole site is destroyed. But the thing about that is it enables reddit style behavior where it comes solely down to rules lawyering. You can make a shitpost in a way no one can report you, then report everyone who engages you and disagrees by breaking some retarded rule like announcing a sage. That site is effectively the absolute worst traits of both reddit and cancerous /b/ now, to such an extent you can immediately spot one of them by their literal inability to not post like a retard anymore, and their expectation that reddit social bullying like just typing "cringe" works on an anonymous site.

What killed KC was really when moderation abandoned the place too. It's a time proven rule over the last 17 years that no IB can survive without good moderation. It's a failing immune system. For us the disease tried mimicking the host enough until there were so many of them that immune defenses were overwhelmed. KC was good when kebab removed from premises shined in big red letters. It made newcomers aware of what faggotry they could and could not get away with, and likewise helped regulate the full scale of making shitposts for the sake of shitposting. In comparison to 4kanker I think it also bears mentioning that those NPCs routinely false flag and strawman so frequently that apparently the low IQs no longer seem to realize it's a shitpost made by someone who agrees with them. This is like I said the main problem of forming a dittoism echo chamber that totally divorces itself from reality, which is an irony that it happened to the largest imageboard, thus disproving the concept that forced anonymity ensures diversity of ideas.
No. 52665
Good post, mediocrity isn't so bad. Makes a man think that just a year ago I was striving towards this and now it feels stale. Gonna hone my craft in creating art (radio ernstiwan)
No. 52666
Today at my theater courses, I looked in the general direction in front of me and someone turned her head 90 degrees from where I was looking. I think the person was starring at me and it was a girl. At first I thought it was an accident but then she starred at me again. It made me slowly panic worst and worst and I looked at her in the same cringe way and turned my heda away. She later had the great idea to sit nearly next to me and it made me panic even more. I then remembered that we can transmit emotions through body odor and paniced at the idea I was making everyone else panic. I don't even know if the girl really starred at me in the first place but I'm pretty sure I made her cringe.

I also panicked because the same girl told me I was good-looking last week. It troubled me at the time because it was the first time a girl told me something like that. wasn't random either, I looked better than usual. I think I don't like being starred at at all.
No. 52671
Cover yourself in reflective foil and become the invisible man
No. 52690
Learning to play chess. It's apparent I have an ego problem because how good I thought I'd be compared to how bad I am is bordering on an order of magnitude

I have noticed a similar inflated sense of self worth in everything else I do
No. 52693
No. 52699
Why do people ban evading always type test?
No. 52704
How do you deal with anxiety? A certain event has triggered my anxiety and now I'm loath to return to an activity I used to enjoy a lot, not to mention feeling down all the time and constantly on edge. It's not even anything serious, I'd never thought something like this could happen to me.
No. 52705
Well, you can force yourself to get back into this activity now or you the anxiety and fear will increase until you physically can't deal with it.
No. 52706
I will on Saturday, as I always do, but I'd like to know if there is a technique to avoid feeling like this all the time.
No. 52707
This >>52705. Don't let one bad event destroy something you enjoy. If you fall off a horse, you need to get right back on it. That's the only way to get over fear.
No. 52708
>I'd like to know if there is a technique to avoid feeling like this all the time.
I use music to deal with anxiety. If your thoughts are going in circles, music helps to take you out of your own head.
No. 52709
>If you fall off a horse, you need to get right back on it
Lel, okay, I guess there's no point in being vague, by "an activity I enjoy" I literally meant horse riding. Didn't fall off but came very close to it, the horse went a bit crazy, not nearly the worst I have experienced before but for some inexplicable reason it got to me.
No. 52710
>not nearly the worst I have experienced before but for some inexplicable reason it got to me.
I understand. Even if you didn't fall, you felt 'out of control' for a moment, and know it could happen again. Your mind is reacting to the very small chance that something bad might happen, rather than the overwhelming probability that you'll be fine.

Since you've done this before, replay in your mind all the times it went well. Focus on that. How it felt, the horse responding to you, etc. It will go well again on Saturday, and your mind will calm down.
No. 52720 Kontra
36 kB, 747 × 740
>Cover yourself in reflective foil


I have my computer back after a full of week of going without it. Feels good, I did not do any work for uni because of the missing computer and general depression, met with friends in hometown. Now I left with depression (which kicked in long before), a paper to write, another one in the queue for april and beyond and a woman I want to see again, not sure if she is date or friend, but for both things to find out I'm too empty and I don't think I'm in the mood to either appear as potential partner nor as friends because I feel quite empty, mental innit?
No. 52741
39 kB, 1024 × 576
For the past few weeks I've been waking up drenched in sweat and it's fucking awful.
Anyway, I decided yesterday to fuck homework, and I went to bed early instead after reading a chapter from Three Kingdoms.
Woke up quite well rested.

I feel kinda stressed out lately for no apparent reason. I notice myself shaking my left leg compulsively at times.
Could be the result of having a better diet and more energy, so the "normal" functions return.
Probably one of the weirdest stress factors I have is that I feel kinda useless. Whenever I see someone my age or even younger actually working I feel kind of ashamed of myself. I feel like a parasite.
This goes a long way back. For some reason I've always felt that people doing physical labour instinctively despise me, even when I was 7 or 8 years old. Like as if they'd take me opening a book as some sort of an insult to their reality. And by not working, and even if I work, not working a physical job I just further insult this mass of people who have a hard life. Why am I so deathly afraid of the proletariat?
Every time I see the young workhand my father hired around the house. He's a nice guy, we shared liquor together a couple of times, but when I wake up at ten and I see him in the hallway with dirty hands, I can't look him in the eyes.

Though I might have a job on hand soon thanks to my mother. I'll be tutoring someone on the basics of the English language once a week. It'll be good money, and I'll probably feel less like a leech when I ask for something exact from the store.
Basically I want to be less of a Raskolnikov and more of a Razumikhin.
No. 52745
Someone actually said to me "and sometimes you have to sneeze and you can't just sneeze while wearing a mask." I'm having trouble remembering the exact phrasing but basically what she was implying was you need to take your mask off to sneeze. Some of these people even if otherwise well meaning are unspeakably retarded. I am surrounded by thousands of miles of barbarians and medieval peasants.
No. 52746
I heard that super glue had originally been intended to close wounds. This may not be true but nevertheless I've twice now tried using super glue instead of a bandaid to seal shut small cuts and I find it works well. One cut was on my fingertip and the other on the side of my hand, both cuts that were shallow but bled inconveniently. The glue didn't come unstuck and it's unobtrusive enough that I forget about it. Is there a reason not to use super glue for this?
No. 52747
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>For some reason I've always felt that people doing physical labour instinctively despise me
There are landscape workers everywhere around here, 7 days a week on one property or another. When someone walks near where they're working- cutting grass, trimming bushes, whatever- they have to shut off their equipment and wait for the person to pass. This always makes me incredibly uncomfortable, knowing my presence has interfered with men doing real physical labor.

>Is there a reason not to use super glue for this?
None that I know of. Also, masking tape/scotch tape works just as well as a band-aid for shallow cuts. Just don't use it if there's a skin flap; peeling the tape off will just reopen those.
No. 52753
I think I'm officially an alcoholic.
I get shitfaced basically every evening after work.
Because I lose all of my mental energy and motivation halfway through my shift, but still have lots of things to do. So I load up on piss lager and go stumbling through the city getting mundane stuff done.

I even started going to the gym and I lift while drunk, too. One of these days I'll probably snap my spine lifting while drunk.

But so far it's working.
No. 52754
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It's strangely interesting how many of us suffer from unhealthy habits despite knowing better. Addiction is a temptress that our minds lack the means to fight. Sometimes it seems that life is nothing more than a labyrinth of roads to ruin, and we can pick one and hope for some fun on the way. That said: Hope you're doing well, I miss your ramblings. Not sure if you realize it, but they are part of the soul of this board.
No. 52755
>It's strangely interesting how many of us suffer from unhealthy habits despite knowing better.
Isn't that all addicts? I mean, are there actually addicts not knowing better? Even the most fucked up methhead knows it's bad for him.
Every smoker knows about the risks. Alcoholics joke about their liver. Weedheads made a lifestyle out of it. Hard drug users know they're scum. Fatasses know it's unhealthy, and so on.
No. 52756
>Isn't that all addicts?
Yes, pretty much. And yet most aren't capable of doing much against it. From a rational point of view, getting rid of an addiction should be anyone's top priority, but for some reason most of the times it is not. And that's what I meant when I said our minds do seem to be ill-equipped to handle a situation like that: They find ways ignoring it, rationalizing it, even romanticizing it and still indulging in it. I think this is a puzzle piece in understanding why people act like they do. In my earlier years I found it very frustrating when things didn't turn out the way I wanted because people acted in a different way than I predicted, so understanding things like this give me a more precise model for understanding my surroundings. This is important to me since it reduces the experienced frustration while interacting with people. It's not like I couldn't deal with events that don't unfold in a specific way, I just want to understand the reasons so that I am able to adjust my expectations accordingly.
No. 52757 Kontra
Awareness is with every addict, with most mental health issues. Turns out awareness is just the first baby step. People hold so much on awareness, it's the ground for action but it's something completely different than action.

t. knows to well from self and friends
No. 52758 Kontra
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also I'm in the mood for reading https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biometrics but I have to read for uni.
No. 52759 Kontra
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you ever sit around and make weird noises or stretches, movements? I'm bored, unmotivated and sleepy, and I just can't get myself to be productive, instead I stretch my face with my fingers, I already lame ass sung an audio message to a friend because I feel squashed by what people use to call living on this planet. Usually when I singsong normal speech to people it's a sign of exhaustion.
No. 52760
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>Turns out awareness is just the first baby step
True. Even without addiction, which has an external chemical component, transforming right thoughts into right actions is a challenge. We want to do one thing, or avoid doing one thing- but fail. Paul, writing in Romans, attributed this to the sinful nature that lives within everyone(Romans 7:18-19 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.) . We have two natures, a spiritual, which wants one thing, and and a spirit of the flesh which pulls us in another direction.

This is looking at the phenomena through a religious lens, ofc. Secular philosophers would use different words. Knowing is not enough, we're like riders on a horse. On its own, the horse will do as it pleases, taking us along for the ride. But it can be trained, taught to react to our direction, take us only where we want to go, At least in theory. I wouldn't know from experience. Not easy to do, man.
No. 52761
>you ever sit around and make weird noises or stretches, movements?
I'd say that's what takes up the majority of my energy.
It's especially noticeable now that I have regular zoom calls with my webcam on, because I can see that I'm the only one who always fiddles with something (like my hair, beard, pen, clothing and so on) or keeps changing the way they sit.
It's really unsettling.
No. 52764
So today I went horse riding again and it went pretty poorly, I kept making mistakes and the horse - I asked for the same one from last week - kept responding to them in the worst ways, threw me once even. That felt frustrating as hell, I should be better than this. At least it's not fear I feel any more.

On the bright side, afterwards a girl who goes there at the same time as me mentioned some outdoors event tomorrow so we're going together. Almost like a real date, haven't been on one in ages.
No. 52766
Call me delusional, but other than doing long term permanent damage to my health, and the financial burden, alcohol is working out for the better for me. Instead of having 3 hours of productive work per day, and then succumbing to brain fog, I get my 3 hours of productive work done, then get shitfaced, and do the stuff that doesn't require a brain. I get more done this way.

Alcohol turns off some part of my mind that malfunctions. Before I find real treatment, I'll take what I can get. Being drunk is like being dead or asleep, but your body can do some simple tasks that would be too bothersome while fully aware.
No. 52767
Congratulation on going again despite the fear. Also congratulation about the date. Maybe she can help you become a better rider (if you know what I mean).
No. 52768
Have you tried smoking pot instead of drinking?
No. 52769
It's in my plans.
Too expensive for now. I'm going to try growing once I have enough disposable income.
No. 52770
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Some movements are within ordinary acceptance, people would look puzzled if I would stretch my eyes with my fingers on zoom all the time though. Yet I think many people move while on zoom, have you ever tried to watch all tiles at once and register the movement of those semi-npc aka digital signals of continous persons? - Ah yes! It's really interesting to register the movements within tiles simultaniously, feels like a constant restlessness.

It's raining here quite alot lately and the wind hits hard, quite cozy tbh.
No. 52772
So apparently the way they passed that stimulus through budget reconciliation means that private debt collection agencies, paragons of virtue and honesty that they are, are essentially going to be able to just send a list of people to judges to garnish it. I think the most likely result is going to be rampant fraud on their part without even bothering to check if the money actually got paid back, if the debt is still within the statute of limitations, or even if the debt exists at all.

The money hasn't even hit our bank accounts yet and I'm already plotting how to file class action lawsuits against debt companies. I'll probably end up this month and the next getting in touch with people to make sure they got the full amount refunded and if they did not, finding out whether they legally owed money or if I can start gathering people together to file a class action against the companies with preferably punitive damages and additional damages.