/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

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Hide No. 48443 [Reply]
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Hello, I will post here some jokes I collected over the years way back on KC /int/.
Feel free to add your own.
There are way more than fit in one post, but I won't necessarily be able to post regularly.

Jerusalem's highest rabbi is on an official trip in England. On one
morning, he wakes up really early. It is Jom Kippur. He steps on the
balcony and sees the hotel's golf course.
He thinks "It's so early, nobody will see me". He grabs his golf gear
and steps on the green.
Up in heaven, St. Peter says to god "Do you see what the highest rabbi
of Jerusalem is doing? On Jom Kippur? Do you not want to punish him for
God nods. The rabbi drives off and hits hole in one, a perfectly rare
St. Peter: "I don't understand - you wanted to punish him!"

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No. 55351
So PEBKAC is not a thing? Are you trying to tell me that a computer in the hands of an idiot will NOT do dumb shit?
No. 55354
I assume you just mean in the context of a planned economy, as opposed to countries in a loosely defined 'socialist' camp as a whole.
In the case of the Soviet Union, computerization wouldn't have solved the fundamental issues. In fact, Gosplan did make great use of computer systems in planning the Soviet economy - something that did not prevent its collapse.
No. 55356
Yeah but meaning in a modern digitization sense, not that few bootlegged microchips they had particularly in comparison to the changes we had on the Wect over the previous 30 years as computers nor internet weren't even really a big thing here by the time the USSR collapsed. But of course then again, one would've hypothesized or wondered about USA switching to things like electronic voting and direct democracy through computerization but none of that ever happened either and we still use paper ballots only theyre fed into counting machines.
No. 55357
>not that few bootlegged microchips they had
Gosplan probably had the largest computer center in Europe. Ultimately what is just a more efficient method of communication and resource calculation wouldn't have done anything to allow the union to overcome its fundamentally flawed economical system.
Even assuming it would significantly improve the efficiency of soviet logistics, it would all still be underpinned to both the political system and what was an all encompassing military-industrial complex.

Hide No. 54884 [Reply]
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Dear Ernst,

is there anything you can do, be in practically or theoretically, that you want other Ernsts to learn?

Be a teacher and write a guide.

Ideally you keep up some quality and write more than 2 or 3 sentences. Pictures would be great and staying around to answer possible questions would be even greater.

To keep this thread alive, i will post some how to's later, and i know that someone from a far away place will post one very soon, too.
No. 55279 Kontra
Just shit on a plate, authentic German food xD
No. 55280 Kontra
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And then we can deep fry it and call it American, how about that?
No. 55281
>flesh salad
Also kartoffel sounds like such a dirty word. It makes me imagine old rotting meat marinating in feces or something.
No. 55305
you're really into feces. what an odd taste.

Hide No. 55197 [Reply]
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I lost $45,000 last year on a BTC scam. Don't believe the hype. If you can't transfer to your crypto wallet then it is a scam. Learn that first before you give a stranger somewhere in the world your $. Even if a friend or co-worker recommends it. They lost far more than I did.
No. 55203 Kontra
*go, not know
No. 55208
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investing in a pyramid scheme 10 years after its glory days means you're blind to begin with
No. 55218
BTC probably, at least it's dumb during a boom. Others? Nah. I think globalism makes crypto have genuine use cases.
No. 55240
There is no "scheme", everything about Bitcoin has operated completely openly from day one
It's only the third parties involved that bring any shadiness to the business, but these days there are harsly any hardly any shady actors in that sphere of things either

Hide No. 48382 [Reply]
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Hello Ernst,

could we please forget about all the hypes about Bitcoin etc. and just focus on the technical aspects?

Which cryptocurrency has the best specs? I'm talking in terms of actually using them as payment form, not this whole blockchain contract thing.

Which currency pays fast, is secure, anonymous(?), environmentally-friendly....

I just stumbled across Digibyte and I guess that one is just one of >9000 Altcoins. But its payment speed is 400x faster than Bitcoin and also much faster than Litecoin.

Currently I'm also paying my new VPN subscription using Bitcoin. First I had to convert my remaining Moneros to Bitcoin which took me about 20 min. Then I sent the Bitcoins and after 30 mins I only have 2 confirmations. Yes, I didn't want to spent much money on the fees.

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No. 54796
I am financially destitute
No. 54799 Kontra
No. 54800
There is literally no reason for things like Western Union and wire transfers to exist anymore
No. 55191
They exist because the entry into crypto is still esoteric to the regular population. It doesn't have a front end shop to display an easy transfer system like western union or other crediting agencies that can wire the cash cheaper than cashing out your crypto after the tax man gets his cut.

I wouldn't touch the crypto market right now as its too unstable. Maybe when it bottoms out in a few months after these last few surges die out.

Hide No. 54247 Systemkontra [Reply]
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No. 55080
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Another day consisting of research/reading, grocery shopping, and food preparation with a few breaks and a bit of wasted time + some EC posting. What have I done in the last 10 hours? I will have to start my draft tomorrow and face that my research is not very good, I cannot acquire the information I really want and I wasted at least 2h reading an article that did not yield any info worth processing/noting.
No. 55082
Yeah but at the same time you are at a complete fundamental disconnect from these people on multiple levels. I have a feeling that the Kazakh internet isn't like ours. Or maybe it is. Regardless you're sort of a special case.

You also could have had a faulty test. I forget how much those things are inaccurate but it's certainly possible. Either that or you're such an ernst that being EC tier is basically kryptonite to communicable diseases which it literally is if you generally avoid other human beings as a matter of lifestyle like I wish I could because I'm pretty sure that you getting antibodies is what happens when you're exposed to any pathogen.
No. 55087
There's no kazakh internet any more.
There was a pathetic attempt in the mid 2000s, but nowadays, everyone, in every country, is on IG, twitter, tiktok, etc.

There's even children filming tiktok videos on the streets sometimes.
No. 55088
To know I'll have to live without experiencing kznet.

Hide No. 39956 [Reply]
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Let's play some Minecraft on our /int/ server:
hub.dev-urandom.eu:25565 (version: 1.15.2)

Wiki with more information: http://dev-urandom.eu/
Overview map: map.dev-urandom.eu
IRC: irc.dev-urandom.eu - channels: #chat (ingame chat), #int
Pirate-friendly client: https://tlauncher.org/en/

Basic commands:
/spawn - Teleports you to the spawn.
/home - Teleports you to your home (set with /sethome or by sleeping in a bed like a fag).
/lb tb - Provides a melonblock that can show block changes.

Don't grief and don't be an asshole (obviously). Basically, you can build anywhere, although there are some limitations. There is enough space for everyone! Don't get discouraged by the autism of the server, things will get easier for you later. Also, mods, admins and other players may help you.

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No. 54569 Kontra
whitelist removed!
No. 54802
Login in and getting raped by skeletons and shit at spawn. Also I haven't played in a while. Will try again though. Is there somewhere not so populated?
No. 55060
There are many empty places, see the map
No. 55068

Hide No. 47690 [Reply]
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Posted about Happiness, but threda autosage'd so here's v4 of the best thread. Here's the repost:

Watched Happiness (1935), a silent movie about a yokel with this stronk wife who live and work a farm, being bled dry by the classes of old Russia - Priests, kulaks, military, thieves, etc. The movie itself really isn't that good save for its historical context.

Our yokel attempts to perform his own funeral which makes all the parasites who live off his work terrified because if he dies, "Then who will feed Russia?". The clergy accuse the fool of sacrilege - the military takes him and they sentence him to die 7 times in the Carpathians. His strong heroic wife joins a kolkhoz, leads a shock worker bridge and scores a bountiful harvest. The collective farm awards her applause, praise and even sheep. There is still trouble in the kolkhoz as remants of the old classes try to steal from the collective and start acts of sabotage. Alcoholics and 'loafers' are shown to be the reason why the collective isn't doing EVEN better.
The evildoers attempt to steal the grain stockpile, the main character who was demoted to standing guard fails to keep safe the people's grain and those damned reactionary forces steal both the warehouse and our protagonist. In the end, the collective DESTROYS them by shucking melons at them because their harvests were so incredible and bountiful that they could assault food thieves with them. After this victory by the shock workers of our collective farm, the couple goes shopping in a fashionable and well stocked clothes store in a nice and organized city.

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No. 54916
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The Wages of Fear (1953)
What an absolute butt-clencher. Loved how for the first hour or so the movie doesn't really get into the main plot and could've gone in a completely different direction afterwards. All this character development at the beginning really pays off later on during the more thrilling moments.

There's a quasi-remake called Sorcerer (1977) by William Friedkin, looks interesting as well.

The Last Temptation of Christ (1988)
Some b-movie vibes here and there, but I still found it very moving. The casting is particularly great, with Dafoe as Jesus of course, Harry Dean Stanton and David Bowie in their minor but memorable roles as Saul and Pontius Pilatus, and especially Harvey Keitel with his Brooklyn accent as a gangster Judas is a stroke of genius.
Also great soundtrack by Peter Gabriel.


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No. 54951
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Watched Chapayev (1934), a hit soviet movie about Chapayev's exploits leading a division during the Russian Civil War.

Despite a lot of prizes, the movie itself isn't that great for a modern viewer, more interesting in creating tropes and a cultural lore to soviet rule. Apparently it was a great success throughout the USSR, even in Poland and this movie was even repeatedly praised by Stalin who forced underlings to bear through repeated viewings.

It did have some pretty comic moments though.
No. 54982
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  1. Nice sincere quite a bit good acting a pair of modern scenes
  2. Sinatra made a good job along the other actors, nice film too. I don't know if in that time everyone respected "The President" to such a degree. Regarding Sinatra, he did another nice picture with "The man with a golden arm" which someday I will watch again... Heroin!
No. 54983
you are welcome, I think you are binging on old films :DD neat

If you like Zhang I super recommend "Keep cool". It's absolutely different but it rules.

Hide No. 6267 [Reply]
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There is a thread asking about German grammar, but why not make a languages general?

Why aren't you learning a language in your free time? Go for it, it's a good use of time. In a couple of years, you'll have an interesting skill.

I'm currently learning Russian, it's a horrible language crafted by Satan himself. Cyrillic is bad, but cursive cyrillic is just sadistic, it is no wonder that so many people resisted attempts at Russification.


Here is a link if anyone wants to suffer alongside me with Russian.

C'mon Ernst, learn a language!
No. 54937
Frankly, I can't understand shit. Sounds like something they talk in the inbred villages of the alps.
No. 54938
>How much does Amish reflect modern German?
Not at all, I can only recognize very small fragments, like "Was" (What?), and even that sounds screwed from the pronounciation. The fact that it is a little muffled doesn't help things either.
No. 54940
Very little. The pronouns are similar, and some simple words I can recognise, like gucken, gehe, leben, mit=>metz/s and so on, but otherwise it's not really similar, it went through a lot of sound changes too by the looks. It also seems to be mixed with English when it comes to the vocabulary. (If I didn't have the translation in English, I wouldn't have understood anything.)
The cause is probably the fact that like >>54937 said it's not descended from Hochdeutsch/Standard German but from some weird dialect that you'd have trouble understanding even if you encountered it in Germany as a German.
Like I was studying German for three years in HS, met two Swiss people and I did not understand a single word they said to each other in their dialect.
No. 54941
I want to add, there are still people speaking "Penssylvania Dutch", seemingly also in part by some kind of amish/quaker/whatevers, which is largely derived from the palatinate dialect.


Basically it sounds like someone from the palatinate region speaking with a pronounced american accent. Of course there are some words nobody uses anymore, but I can understand most of what they're saying.

Hide No. 45731 [Reply]
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Posting ITT requires wearing a mask.
No. 54765
You know I realize now after thinking how many of you post about women like you are late teenagers maybe you actually are 19 year olds or 22 year olds or something. I kinda just automatically assume everybody else here must be a 30 year old or something instead. Fuck. Is me and that lad the only two people left here older than 30?

Jesus Christ I'm back from wörkenings and just not in the mood right now for these cross contaminating bydlo. I take one look at that headline and already know it is 95% probability happening here, 65% probability about Germany/Germans also. I'll read it in a bit when I'm already aggravated by something.
No. 54773
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I went for my first physio session today for my spinal injury and the physiotherapist was in full hazmat gear and 2+ metres away from me at all times. I felt like a right fucking tool doing squats at the opposite side of this empty public health building with this bitch in full hazmat at the other side.

I even had to beg and plead for this, they wanted to do all this shit over the phone and I had to twist their arms to show me in person. How fucking silly
No. 54777
>dat pic
I doubt you're that retarded to take something like that seriously. I've reached the point where I just don't want to deal with contaminated bydlo at all anymore. It's not that it just rolls the dice on winning the grand stupid prize i.e. death. You get consolation stupid prizes like lung damage, kidney failure, months of brain problems etc. I have more of an urge to go hazmat tier around bydlo though, namely people who post shit like that on /pol/. I don't need to get pozzed my dude. Might be a different situation in Ireland though since iirc you guys managed to keep the problem more contained.
No. 54785
Wojak is well over 30 now and he still never had a gf
It happens

Hide No. 54693 [Reply]
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Dear admin: I like lurking here via tor. That has become impossible of late; the connection always fails. If that's an intentional change, then I ask you to please reconsider. If you want to block tor users from posting, that's understandable. Please don't prevent us from viewing this place without jumping through hoops though.

No. 54722
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> What possible fucking reason can you personally have to be coming here with tor
I maintain a chan list. I also kinda like(d) this place, even going out of my way to contribute a few times via proxy.

a) I'm unsure what chan you mean by cabbagechan. I'm not a shitposter in general.
b) I'm no pedo, and I don't post sick shit.
c) Not all tor users are pedos ("torpedo" pun notwithstanding) or <insert label here>. I use tor often, because I care about anonymity. In this day and age of widespread and obvious data harvesting it's only sensible to be careful.

FFS, I'm only talking about lurking via tor besides. If doing so is undesirable here, then I'll unbookmark this chan in my browser and avoid this place from now on. There are plenty of more-tor-friendly chans I can spend my time perusing. It's as simple as that.
No. 54745 Kontra
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No. 54774 Kontra
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begone, proxyfaggot
No. 54795 Kontra
This thread invokes bitter anger from all corners that should be calm and cooperative to find a solution.