>>45270
Honestly I think that aspect is kind of a bunch of bullshit that is directly the result of this really peculiar European mindset that I just don't get. The Judaic interpretation true has just as much of the personality stuff, but God is truly seen as being much more ineffable and mysterious, and even His angels are basically Chtulhu. I relate much more to a lot of the Judaic aspects of the religion, and find truth in the fact God is just as much seen some sort of eldritch abomination from beyond time even moreso than an ant could not possibly hope to perceive any of us in full on even a physical level, let alone comprehend why I am getting annoyed with it or feeding it to a spider, which I deeply, regret, shame, not sure right word. But I've tired of the ants and responded in not even wrath but frustrated coldness and killed probably a hundred of them and it's gnawed at my sanity I hate killing them but it's beginning to be a paranoia they'll end up shorting out electrical equipment somewhere, like a human having no idea behind the reason committing sorcery is pissing God off.

So in that case I guess I do find it kind of relateable but only insofar as it's more of a Hindu or Mahayana Buddhist conceptualization of God also choosing a physical avatar like Christ. Frankly there's things about Catholicism which very much remind me of that taint of our collective pagan idolatry background, like the praying to Saints and pseudo-idopatry of them or pseudo-deification of the Pope. It ultimately strikes me as way too human and way too reminiscent of what happens when someone with a psychopathic personality disorder warps the perception of reality of those around them only to found a dynasty with some complete lies to enforce it and control behavior while hundreds of years later people are still trying to make excuses for psychopaths and trying to rationalize why theyre doing those inexplicably viciously sadistic and violent things. So it is also clear to me why fedoras gonna fedora.

I think though that one of the things I like about the Christ part is how thoroughly contrary it runs to my own nature, and that's a good thing. I'd legitimagely be such an utterly remorseless cunt otherwise with no real brakes on my behavior and we need that.

I do think that taken as a whole it's a rather wildly coherent philosophy and ideology it's just that you unironically need an extraordinary IQ to understand it. Like, I was at the point years ago where I came to understand that it really does contain some mystical secrets of the universe in it and that a lot of those rules had a purpose but I'm just way too dumb and lacking any kind of context or sight beyond my narrow tunnel vision to understand it.

I would lastly like to add that just as I suspected acid was totally overrated however I can see how anybody who's not spent much time inside themselves or doing introspection or engaged with the mystical or philosophical in other words your average keine would get a kick out of it and suddenly think theyre enlightened. In my personal experience it's a really speedy psychological kind of a drug better suited to psychoanalytics and I spent much of my time in a sort of contented detachment analyzing things like the sins and demons trying to stop me from reaching Heaven--figurative and literal--alongside the interesting notion that perhaps a great lie would be that I was still needing to keep looking after having already Found it or whether that actual lie was not the lie but rather that injecting the sense of doubt while Seeking was the lie. It was mildly interesting. I also found alcohol to be among the most thoroughly demonic of substances when abused so it's really no surprise to me at all the Arabs banned it.

In the shorter term I have been actively trying to insulate myself from certain other consequences because you need two crucial things in a pandemic: knowledge and forewarning, and resources, and I actually at least have the one and thanks to neetbux have managed my resources better on the other. The full pool of my resources is such that if I were desperate enough to tank every dollar I had and I got the $1200 neetbux I could pretty much survive deep into January without any job or income stream but that's just about it and I'm a helluva lot better off than most in that regard.

My critical two issues are, sadly, exactly the fucking same as in late March I was not expecting my country to go so full fucking retard that I would have to do this a second time. These are food and firearms. The problem with this is if I get stuck with an angry hungry crowd outside my flat then there really isn't anything that a bump stock with dual barrel mags is gonna do for me. There's only so many zerglings you can shoot down before they overwhelm your D, you know? So there's that consideration, thus rendering the food point moot in a total freefall of our society, particularly if they are led to believe I have things worth looting or set things on fire near enough to me my place catches fire too.

And really I just want to be clear on this, it's not just about dindus or whatever an imageboard retard foreigner could think. I am actively afraid of my retarded redneck neighbors looting me too. This is the metric where a face mask is a bad idea because it's effectively pandemic bling which would alert them to my place and I ain't in the mood to play The Division IRL. Can it get that bad? Maybe. But it really depends on November 5th which I guaran-fucking-tee is going to become a complete national shitshow regardless of the outcome. The problem is ultimately not any one ethnicity or racial group here but the fact that, again, I am surrounded by dangerously retarded Americans and all of them are an active existential threat to me right now more or less. Thankfully I've got enough people unlikely to loot me for beans if Happening level 1 happens but idk how long people will keep their shit sorted here particularly in total economic crash with mass homelessness and thousands of dead children this fall if things go real bad.

As such I have been making active preparations ever since late January for all these eventualities and that included the timing of numerous decisions on my own. Unlike back then however I actually have money nowfor however long that lasts and is still valuable China could literally instigate a bank run and it'd kill us and only them holding all our debt is making it not in their interest to kill us and so because of how I got things managed better I do at least know for a fact right now I'm not likely to be homeless or have the power cut in two months. Knock on wood. We're getting new management though and the owner's son is kind of a dick so because, again, I deal with petty retarded Americans there's always the possibility of a landlord picking fights with me which, again, I am trying to insulate myself from by having them be all "why bother fucking with this guy we at least know he's paying rent super early or ahead of time unlike some other tenants who owe us rent" so we'll see how that goes.

Like everything that I am doing right now and have been doing for months has been totally strategic. Every purchase that I've made minus a few other things was done under the presupposition I may not be in a place to afford to later, or that I may be trapped in my apartment, or have mass shortages, or deal with dickheaded neighbors.

I mean, it's not quite playing Postal 2 on apocalypse mode but I mean yeah I guess it kinda is just on not hardcore difficulty.

Because I couldn't pawn off my mask on family and I don't feel like I need to hang onto it atm as a precious asset due to having no money I'm probably going to try donating my second p100 mask to a hospital today. I really owe them one and they're gonna need it this fall and winter. I'd been previously hanging onto that since the end of February under the expectation everyone around me is retarded enough to only act after it's too late including family and also that I may run out of money but that a powerful face mask would be kinda useful and desired object to sell in the American epidemic. Or having a backup I guess. But again, I am worried that I got infected and will be infected again.

So in short, this whole summer has been one really long game theory and cost/benefit analysis for me. There are certain critical supplies which came back by June and which are now in critically short supply these days (again) because the whole South and West has become one big hot zone. That includes my precious rubbing alcohol which is the one big supply I'm going to try slowly stocking up on again when our Soviet-esque shortages pull through and I see any shipments where I can snag a bottle or two.

But all that is nonsense in the end because my biggest risk factor is work, and my patience has worn thin. The sole reason other than not wanting to dick over my coworkers I don't quit at this point is because of unemployment. You can't collect UI gibes if you quit or get fired, but if I get terminated for full masking I might be able to make an argument about wrongful termination. So I'm stuck on that ride unless I wish to lose UI. If the Republicans did manage to totally end that altogether though then I'd already be looking to quit my job altogether and use that extra buffer on my bills to search for a new job where my risks are lower. I really want to emphasize that again that the extra UI is literally what has buffered employment of people like me because if I got fuckall from unemployment then I might as well just quit rather than being bribed with the promised insurance of fat checks in case I get laid off again

Huh oh yeah and one last thing about living here, is we're actually turning already into a fully fascist country and that also represents a possible critical threat against myself. In the back of my head I'm worried about all those databases. Thankfully I'm outside the center of a major metro zone where shit's most likely to get bad but the prospect of federal agents deciding to just start shooting us and seizing our property and blatantly violating things like Article 3 of the Constitution etc. is no longer a remote possibility. It is entirely conceivable that our already shitty law enforcement is themselves going to become fully lawless.

But in terms of all those personal impacts, really the most important ones are stocking up on supplies again, protecting my health particularly at work as much as I am able, trying to make sure my apartment does not burn down, and accruing every conceivable thing I would want or need that I may not have the capability to acquire for whatever reason by 2021. That also includes trying to open the doorway for making money for myself through various other channels like online or finding resource sinks for defending what little money I have in case SHTF.

>>45258
There's actually an interesting point here regarding empiric process and seeing results of a phenomenon, and nature of real time calculations.

Say you have a very slow computer that is computing some kind of equation. Say it will finish its computation way after the point where you could see the result, in a million yeas or whatever. You do not know how it really works, only that it sometimes outputs certain results, and that in the end, it will come to a final conclusion.

You really want to know the result of the computation, but you can't make the computer go faster, or take it apart without breaking it. So you observe its behavior, study it, and make a "model" of the computer, based on rational extrapolations and reasoning. You build a much faster computer that, according to your model, is doing the same computation as the original computer, but much faster. It works for a few minutes and outputs the result.

Now can you actually say that you know what the slow computer will actually output a million years in the future? Empirically, no. You can only say what your model outputted, and how believable its answer is, depends solely on how well you can justify that your model is correctly simulating the real thing. It can even be believed that your model has 100% identical behavior to the original, and the outputs will match. You can still not say that you empirically know what the original computer will output.

Why does it matter? It matters when you establish the original computer as some kind of ultimate authority or arbiter of truth, or rest the premise of your argument on the infallibility of the original computer. Substitute it with "god", "evolution", "the divine process", "dialectics", "the free market", whatever. If the SOURCE of the authority that your argument hinges on is THE THING ITSELF, then even if you can substitute the "computation" with your model, you can not substitute the AUTHORITY of the original process with the authority of the model. So you can say "god is infallible" or "free market just works" or whatever, I could be willing to accept that, but when you start explaining to me how, or why, or how you think these things work, what they mean, and what we should do about it based on your reasonings, I only have YOUR authority and word to go on, not of the thing itself. And your word is only as good as you can justify that it is correct.

So what's my point? dunno, don't have one, just writing shit that comes to my mind.