Post soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoTU9qA-9IM
Alright, cricket for non-Anglosphere Ernsts. I'll get to the important bit. Test Cricket. It's a 5 day long game played from morning until what is determined to be nightfall (a decision which can be controversial) though they're experimenting day/night tests that go until later. The game can end early depending on the results of play though however. Each team has 11 players and two innings. In each innings the batting team has 10 wickets (players getting out) to score as many runs as possible with. Unlike other forms of the game, there is no over limit so play can be very slow and methodical. A batting team can also 'declare' an innings if they think they've got enough runs in order to give them time to beat the opponent. Declaring is important because if no team wins by the end of the 5th day, then it's a draw, being in the lead is not actually enough to secure a win. Both teams must complete both innings within the 5 days or the leading team doesn't win. So drawing out a game can be a strategy to deny another team victory points in a competition. A win is when both innings for both teams are completed and the totals add up to a higher total than the other. Losses are self explanatory from that. Scoring is set up as wickets/runs but if it's just one number it's the same as 10/runs, so 2/100 is two batsmen out for 100 runs while 10/300 and 300 are equivalent to 'all out for 300 runs'.
The core of the game is the 'Over' which is 6 deliveries after which the bowler is changed, positions are mirrored so the bowler comes from the other end of the pitch etc. and the batsmen swap sides. Runs are scored by the batsmen swapping sides of the pitch or by hitting boundaries which are determined by a rope around the edge of the field. If it goes over the rope on the full, it's 6 runs while bounching or rolling over is 4 runs. If a fielder touches the rope while touching the ball, it's 4 runs also. The other way to get runs is penalty runs from no-balls for illegal bowling technique like overstepping a line called the crease at each end of the pitch, throwing the ball rather than using a correct straight arm delivery, bowling too wide or too short etc. Also they don't count towards the 6 in the over. There is also the benefit that you can't get a batsman out in bowler-dependent ways off of a no-ball.
Speaking of getting out, there are a few ways but some are rare. The main three are stumped/bowled, caught or run out. The first is just various ways that the ball hitting the wicket and knocking off the bails. Bowled is just the bowler hitting the wickets, stumped is when the batsman is caught outside his crease (the line from before) and the wicket-keeper (guy behind the wicket) knocks the bails off with the ball. You can also be bowled if it's determined that the ball did not touch the bat, hit the batsman's leg pad and would have hit the wicket. That's being bowled as an LBW (leg before wicket). Caught is being caught on the full, and run out is when the ball knocks off the bails when someone has not made it behind the crease during run-scoring. The one approaching the broken wicket is out. There are others but they tend to be less common to just plain rare.
Basic batting order is to have your best batsmen go first and the bowlers come in last, sometimes with all rounders in the middle. That's as basic as I can make it while keeping the core
Laws (they are actually called the Laws of Cricket :-D) in there. Other variants are different (and less intimidating than a Test to novice cricket tragics). There is also just some etiquette that's observed in Test cricket that can seem odd but it's just the way things are. Sledging has existed for a long time and it's not meant to be mean-spirited, more a way of having a laugh and trying to offput the other team whether that's a fielder sledging a batsman or a batsman sledging a bowler after hitting them for a boundary.