/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

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No. 15052 Systemkontra
181 kB, 600 × 381
Dear diary,
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No. 15054
AAAAH I wanted to create that post!
I even had design ideas for the today thread pictures (that I will send out later today)
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No. 15056
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I have been reading about Albert 1 of Belgium recently and its amazing how a figure like him existed in the 20th century. A true warrior king in the age of tanks and airplanes.
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No. 15058
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I just realised that one of my favourite trading card games is from Singapore but is obnoxiously hard to get in Australia, stocked at only one shop at the other end of the continent. Maybe I can find a store that carries it in its place of origin? It woudn't make the trip worth it, but it'd take some of the edge off of it.
t. positive thought finder
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No. 15059
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For Ernst's kind consideration.

I made them quick and simple because I should be working now :DD.
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No. 15061
>>15058
How did it become your favourite if you can't get the cards?

Also, what is your opinion on Netrunner and it's asymmetric structure?

>>15059
I like the first one very much, it has a nostalgic feeling to it and at the same time matches the Ernst-rhetoric.
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No. 15063
>>15061
I got some for my birthday from my sister and her boyfriend. I have two starter decks and a display for drafting.

I had heard about it online and mentioned it in passing to her boyfriend since he also likes tabletop games, that is why they got it.

Also, that feel when at the airport and check in doesn't open for another two hours. If I can snag some photos without being flagged and detained because airport paranoia makes me look laced up, I will.
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No. 15064
>>15061
Also, Netrunner is cool. It's a shame it got canned. The LCG model is actually really cool for cubing since it is basically a mini cube to begin with and cube is one of the best ways to play card games.
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No. 15065
>>15063
Is there much point having a card game that nobody else has though? You would not be able to play with them.
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No. 15066
>>15065
I have enough cards to draft and two starter decks. Once the box is drafted, I will probably just cube it. Drafting a cube is no different from drafting packs at the end of the day except that the packs are truly random through shuffling instead of being randomly assigned groupings from a large pool.

Drafting also means that I am the only one who actually needs the cards.
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No. 15067
>>15061
When I go back home, I can tweak the background colour to suit EC even more, or should I keep the colours as is?
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No. 15069
>>15067
Keep the colours as they are, the darker brown looks like a card from a long forgotten holiday you found at your granpas attic. It fits the mood of a slow and somewhat elderly board like EC.
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No. 15070
>>15064
My problem with netrunner was: I knew one other person playing the game and he was playing in a league. I just wanted fun matches, which wasn't possible with him. So I never played. Still got the box here...
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No. 15071
>>15070
Yeah, I can see why that could sour it. Playing against people who are in a different skill bracket is never fun. Drafting can even it out a little bit though and is very accessible since you only need your box and a willingness to learn the rules. You would have to look up the draft rules though, I can't remember pod and pack sizes.
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No. 15072
I pulled my back and also I have a cold.
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No. 15074
1,4 MB, 1920 × 2560
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>>15072
Sounds like you've had an absolute ripper then :-DDD

Also, airport. There are a bunch of these schizo looking statues everywhere:-DDDDDDD
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No. 15075
>>15072
I feel that.
I have another chest infection, I know it is going to last months.
Fuck getting old.
On the ironic positive I am giving up soda, sugar drinks and excessive coffee, however I am still drinking everyday.
Swings and roundabouts.
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No. 15078
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Today was the last day of school this year.
We celebrated Christmas with the class. We did this wectern "Sectet Santa" thing again.
We sat in a circle, and then we had to describe the person who's name we picked out randomly from a hat to give a present to.
Afaik this is somewhat common in workplaces in the west.
My name was picked out by a girl, and she said that
>I respect him for being well read and educated, but I don't always understand him
So, I got a book as a present. "Language and Languages". It's a textbook on linguistics. I think this is the first time a school Christmas turned out well for me.
We also exchanged presents with my history teacher. I gave him some chocolate and he gave me an older copy of Nietzsche's "Human, all too human"

I wanted to read on the bus on the way home, but it was pensioner-powerhour and they were loudly discussing recipes and how sauerkraut got more expensive by 20 forints.
It was hell manifest. Especially after how a young girl joined the talk and denounced the younger generation just to suck up to the old hags.
Babushkas are the reason why we can't have nice things.

Yesterday I did some "Research" in the library after studying hanzi. I basically checked if we have any poems by Anna Akhmatowa. I made photocopies of some, but the book with the most of her poems were too thick to be put in the copy machine. (It was a generic "Works of Soviet Poets" book from the 70s-80s)
I took photos of that and then I entered the text manually into Microsoft word.
I was surprised to find out that the administration actually lets students use the photocopy machine. Maybe they actually don't but they just know me and like me.
Honestly, I looked like a bit of a lunatic, going up the stairs with a book open in my hand, a smaller book in my other hand, and the copies of the poems in another.

I STILL HAVEN'T GOT MY FUCKING PACKAGE AND IT HAS BEEN 11 DAYS

I'm not going to do much today. I'll probably check my flashcards again and that's it.
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No. 15080
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I finished browsing the Bundeswher Flikr(well I got bored of it) so I started browsing the Latvian defence force one(because they have an interesting uniform), they have a lot more images and most of them are of drill or other such things that are not really interesting, they had some Bersaglieri from a joint excersise though, so I gave up on that too, the Italian one is in a tiny resolution for some reason and I could not find the Japanese one, probably it's in Japanese.
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No. 15081
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>>15074
Ebin, nice statues.

We had an art project in the city some years ago, where people gathered and painted some camels, then they were sold off on an auction and placed in front of various businesses. Looks more interesting than the boring sovoque heritage of bronze statues aping the classical style tbh. Something more "oriental" about colorful statues.

>>15075
I quit booze because I didn't like the way I acted under it (people were starting to think that I'm an outgoing and fun person, and I hated that), but I'm still hooked on coffee.

Nice thing about coffee is that when I get withdrawals, I become very, very sleepy, which is good because I have insomnia.
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No. 15084
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>>15081
Honestely, not very sucsesfull art project. It would be much better if this camels be just bronze color
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No. 15085
1,2 MB, 1600 × 2133
>>15084
There's plenty of that too.

Here's some Moloch testicles in my park.
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No. 15087
Just have a stats exam tomorrow and then my semester is over.

Pretty happy tbh. I'm getting a few books for xmas and I will have lots of time to read them: Who We Are and How We Got Here by David Reich, The Son Also Rises by Gregory Clark, and The Neuroscience of Intelligence by Richard Haier. Also I'll probably go see that Dick Cheney biopic because it seems ebin
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No. 15088
Not much going on, I'm making steady progress on my thesis. My sleeping and working schedule is not ideal, but at least it's consistent for the last few weeks so I probably shouldn't try to change it for now.

Also according to this recent meta-analysis insomnia might not be so bad after all: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1087079218300741
Gonna look at it in more detail later though I'm really getting tired of reading papers.

>>15078
The cover design of the Nietzsche book looks quite nice. I'm somewhat envious that you have such cool teachers.

>I took photos of that and then I entered the text manually into Microsoft word
OCR is actually pretty good by now and could save you some time with that, have you tried it? E.g. Google Docs or some other service should be able to automatically convert a photo to text
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No. 15090
>>15088
>OCR is actually pretty good by now and could save you some time with that, have you tried it?
I tried it just now. Didn't know about it before.
Well, it loses the formatting. It made only one mistake. (Turned an Ó into an Ő)
Looks pretty good otherwise.
Thanks.

>I'm somewhat envious that you have such cool teachers
I'm incredibly lucky to have the guy around.
He introduced me to Nietzsche, Schopenhauer and Wittgenstein.
The other teachers say he's a bit of an oddball, but after 30 years of teaching I'd say it's perfectly natural that one might go a bit crazy.

It's rare to find a teacher who actually knows his shit beyond the level they is teaching it on. But whenever I ask him about something he can come up with at least 3-4 books or essays to read on the subject, be it history or literature. Even philosophy.
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No. 15094
Having headache again.
I sent the essay away I wrote yesterday on some German postmodernist author and his famous performance at a literature prize that got televised in 1983, he cuts is forehead with a razor blade. His text, Subito, talks about this act and goes hand in hand with it. Back then many critics said he did it just for attention. Well, it's clever and generates attention but it's also a materialization of his text/poetology and therefore serves the function of projecting authenticity and passion onto the author as real person.

https://youtu.be/Wn64AVFydDw?t=110

---

Also copied Wittgensteins lectures on aethestics and a speech held by Peter Weiss about the barriers of language
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No. 15097
>>15094
>https://youtu.be/Wn64AVFydDw?t=110
That was really inspirational.
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No. 15098
>>15097
The whole text is nice just about 11 pages, it's in a compilation called Hirn, 1986 published by Suhrkamp. His books are quite cryptic at times and often written in fragments "Gehe weg, du blöder Sausinn!" there are not super coherent like some naturalist novel from the 19th century.
I will write about one of his plays he also wrote besides the small texts, stories and novels. the writings can be enjoyed but it can get on your nerves at times as well, an ambivalent author for me. Yet I will get the rest of his publications within the years to come.
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No. 15099
>>15097
btw. Subito builds upon the vitalism of Nietzsche, if you heard of Marinetti and his futurist manifest, the Subito text alludes to marinetti and his manifest, which is also written in the vitalistic way.
Nietzsche and living an intense life... it's all there both in Goetz and Marinetti
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No. 15100
>>15099
>>15098
Do you have a digital copy you could share with me?
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No. 15101
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1,3 MB, 1600 × 2133
This is starting to feel a lot like flu.

Late december, like clockwork, every year.

Digging through some of my old IWO photos. Look at all these children having fun with their normal childhoods, having friends and shit. Makes me angry.

I hate normal and happy people. In my eyes, you're not a real human unless you're a sad sack of shit who can't function in reality. Happiness is kool-aid, suffering is redpill.
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No. 15103
>>15100
I brought the book back to the library today and I won't enter the library until next year I think afaik it's also close between christmas and NYE but I could scan it, if you remind me.
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No. 15105
>>15103
No worries. Nothing happens even if you forget about it.
I wish I could serve with something in exchange but I lack rare, valuable and interesting materials.
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No. 15106
304 kB
>>15094
>>15098
Very interesting, I'm quite shocked I never heard of this performance or of him in general. Now I'm curious to pick up some of his writings as well.
>>15100
If you're interested I've attached the only ebook I could dig up on libgen by him, apparently it's his debut novel
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No. 15107
>>15106
Thanks!
I'll take a look at it if I have the time during my break.
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No. 15108
>>15105
I scan and copy here and there, 11 more pages is nothing, so it's alright. I just saw a book lying around here with some essays I want to copy but forgot to do so today, so I might do that before monday, so I could scan the Subito too.

>>15106
Irre is first novel. You can find his last one, Johann Holtrop at lib gen too. But I read that it is different to is other writings. That said Goetz is really educated, he has a Phd in history and medicine. And his books except Irre are perhaps more difficult to understand for non-germans as he writes/alludes a lot to german persons that are known to the public or about german history and such things. Kontrolliert e.g. has parallels with his vita and deals with the RAF and 70s politics. Rave is drug fueled 90s night life, Irre is psychiatry, isolation and punk, Dekonspiratione is media and art scene. All the books relate to himself and what he experienced

there exist a Hörspiel for his last novel

https://classic.ardmediathek.de/radio/H%C3%B6rspiel-Pool/Rainald-Goetz-Johann-Holtrop-1-2/Bayern-2/Audio-Podcast?bcastId=7263856&documentId=53728128

He also did these vinyls where he read his texts an some 90s trance like music
This one is really great: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWZYZSRbSaE

at 1.31 he reads a text about the Challenger explosion in the 80s. I mean
>Weißer Schaum und Gischt look at the challenger videos

just great in aesthetics
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No. 15114
I want to go home.
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No. 15115
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>>15114
Haha ebin. Did we annex Singapore? :-DDDDDDDD
t. not in Australia
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No. 15118
1,2 MB, 1920 × 2560
I am thinking of getting Chinese for dinner since I am in Chinatown but it is intimidating because Chinatown is really intense. It is like that genuine over the top Chinese merchantry, complete with 'eating houses' with a circle of middle aged Chineae men eating outside it, and shrines on the walls. Also tacky gold lettering of increasingly difficult to say names as far as the eye can see. Singapore is like a functional China. Really weird and dodgy in many ways but always skirting the line rather than crossing it like the real China does. They don't even seem to have normal supermarkets so you can grab some bread or something for a quick lunch. I dunno if I can last another week of this.

Pic is view from room. That traditional building you can see is some fuckoff huge Chinese temple or something.
t. aussie in tringapore
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No. 15119
>>15118
Put on some Vangelis and embrace the IRL Blade Runner aesthetic.
Go to the chinkiest chinkhole and get some Chinese food, while trying to decipher the locals' Singlish. It'll be fun.
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No. 15124
>>15118
>>15119
He'll definitely have to go elsewhere in the city. That view is Soviet Russia tier, even the sky. And aus don't break any rules.
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No. 15133
Woke up late with a headache today, teleworking.

Ernsts, I have a question to you:
Would you take a job that will better your conditions as an employee, but the job itself is hard and you're basically diving into the unknown? It requires a such level of maturity and self dependence (and communication skills lolol) that even after seven years working I still do not know if I have it.
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No. 15135
>>15118
This. This. This. THIS. >>15119

I mean
>high end asian city
>neon
>chinese everywhere
>shouty street vendors
it's the only logical thing to do.

oh, and you eat IN the kiosk and wait for someone to grab you by the shoulder and tells you that" we need to go". Holy Feel Runner Bhatman.

and here is the soundtrack for you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3fz6CC45ok

Good luck in your adventure, Ernst!
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No. 15136
>>15135
Forgot to add, Jean Michel Jarre can give you the same feels as well

>Jean Michel Jarre - Equinoxe Infinity /full album/ (2018)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOdQSZPj1kk
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No. 15137
>Anastasia looks more Tatar than Russian
>Güzel looks more Russian than Tatar
Such is life on Russia
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No. 15138
>>15137
>Anastasia
>Güzel

Who?

>>15101
For some reason a lot people in recent months I know in internet say that they get flu.
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No. 15140
>>15138
Seasonal flu and allergies. It's an annual tradition for such things to happen in summer/autumn or autumn/winter, depending on one's body. I usually catch the flu or common cold somewhere around these days...
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No. 15141
1,3 MB, 1920 × 2560
>>15119
>>15135
That is the problem. Some parts of the city (the non-western bits) are interesting with the east-west colonial aesthetic, but I just can't bring myself to properly explore. This is why you leave the travelling to NTs who don't get hung up on anxiety. Even if they don't, they can appreciate the different things while I tend to just want to go home and sit in my room again.
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No. 15142
>>15138
>Who?
Anastasia and Güzel
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No. 15144
>>15141
'NTs' only ever visit the local bars and the like anyway. I was in a Hostel in Marseilles once and they were talking about how bad Milan was because the night life was terrible.
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No. 15145
>>15141
Nothing is stopping except you. If you can explore alone it sometimes is the best feel because you are free to choose direction and time. Give it a try.
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No. 15149
There is something deeply physically/neurologically wrong with me I can tell. I just dont know what it is. A lot of the symptoms actually seem in line with epilepsy, which would make sense since I'm not using gabapentin properly except that now in addition to the headaches I've been having this really weird intense swimmy pressure feel in my prefrontal cortex and anterior and pretty much entire frontal lobe. It feels like, almost like there is a massive buildup of fluid in my brain and possibly raptured blood vessels. In spite of taking BP lowering medications like normal it still feels like my blood pressure and heart rate is just pounding. The weird swimming in my head disorentiated pressure feeling combined with headaches was so bad I had coffee extremely late at night and then realized I haven't had coffee in awhile so it can't be caffeine withdrawal. I'm not normally paranoid about my health but I actually am starting to get really intensely severely nagging thoughts about things like early onset dementia or brain cancer both of which I am highly at risk for developing. Plus now to think of it brain cancer or heart failure would definitely be most fitting ways to go out. Is it a head cold? Wtf is wrong with me lately. I feel sicker and sicker each month now.
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No. 15152
>>15149
i don't know what makes you feel unwell, but it looks like you don't have epilepsy. i've witnessed 2 epilepsy attacks. people who suffer of epilepsy are completely normal unless flashlights or an other arbitrary trigger literally throws them on the ground while blood spills out of body openings such es mouth, nostrils, ears and eyes. this severe spastic condition usually takes a couple minutes, before they return to being completely normal.
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No. 15154
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I woke up at 9 o'clock.
Called the antiquary. The bastards made me wait 5 minutes on the phone, then I cancelled the call and wrote an email instead. I noticed on the metro that they responded that I can pick my package up. So I picked up both of my packages, I don't have to go to Budapest during the holidays any more.
I think my German is leaps and bound behind understanding Goethe's poetry, but one day hopefully I'll be able to read it. Until then, I'll read excerpts with a dictionary

I collected all the work that need to be done during the break. I have two essays to write, a 10 minute presentation to make, a book to read, and a test to prepare for.
I'm afraid I won't have time to rework my translation completely. Which is sad.

My stomach acid is killing me. It's a sort of burning sensation in my throat I haven't felt in a long time, and it's really unpleasant.

I've basically spent all my money today.

The plan is that I'll read that one assigned book today. It's 170 pages of simple verse, telling a tale.
It's quite simple, but the teacher wants to demonstrate that statements and deeper meaning can be expressed even with simpler subjects and language.

Took a few pictures. IWO: Budapest in Winter.
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No. 15157
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My lyfe is still a depressing pointless mess but at least the weather changed from soggy, gray, cold and rainy to just snowy. The only thing worth mentioning is me being invited to new year corporate drinking night. I can already feel annoyed by everyone telling me to smile more and be a positive, socially active ray of sunshine.
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No. 15158
>>15154
>my German is leaps and bound behind understanding Goethe's poetry

Most Germans will struggle with old German anyway. I only read Iphigenie von Tauris in school and back then I didn't care nor did I understand anything.
But even today I'm not so interested in Goethe. Kafkas hype is deserved tho.
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No. 15166
>>15141
>This is why you leave the travelling to NTs who don't get hung up on anxiety.
Urban jungles are the best places for antisocial people with anxiety. You blend into the crowd, and nobody notices you in a meaningful way unless you make an effort to be noticed.
And worst case scenario, you can just blend back in without much effort.
Granted, I assume you're a relatively tall white guy and everyone around you is Chinese, but the power of the crowd should still protect you. It's not like white people are a rare sight there.
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No. 15167
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>>15141
Just put on your sunglasses, put some booze in a juice can and walk around town not giving a fuck
>>15154
>My stomach acid is killing me. It's a sort of burning sensation in my throat I haven't felt in a long time, and it's really unpleasant.
Stop eating spicy, sour & fatty food (anything with tomato sauce is the worst IME), especially don't eat for several hours before sleep. That should fix most of it, but you'll have to find out yourself what works best for you.
>>15158
>I only read Iphigenie von Tauris in school and back then I didn't care nor did I understand anything.
Same for me, but his other works are very readable (and good IMO), his German is fairly modern
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No. 15168
>>15158
I like Kafka, and I understand most of his writings too.
Goethe is a big white-space on the map of literature for me.
During the time when he was the topic at hand, my literature teacher was mediocre to say the least. So we barely talked about his works. At least I barely remember anything about Sorrows of the Young Werther.
Or Faust for that matter. I don't even know if we talked about Faust even, Jesus.

Kafka's Trial I've read alone. It resonated deeply with me for various reasons.
I don't know what got hold of that me during that time, but I was rather depressed. It was probably the weather and my problems with self-esteem I had for whatever reason. Probably just seasonal depression.
Though I still like books where the main character suffering, somewhat young character from the intelligentsia. Even if I don't suffer all that much.

>>15167
>what works best for you.
Finally getting hold of the medicine I've been missing for days.
That fixed it. Or it'll rather fix it in a few days, slowly.
>>
No. 15176
I went to the Chinatown market to get food as you guys told me to and failed. It was packed and loud and people kept calling out to get me into their shops and the whole place smelled like rotten fish. Food looked good but the whole scenario was unreasonably chaotic. Busy can be busy without chaos but food in Singapore is apparently not ordered business because this market and others like it come highly recommended as must visits. I think there is also the problem of it being totally alien. I think I could handle a Brickistan bazaar because I have enough of a working knowledge of Kazakh culture and to a lesser extent, language, that I wouldn't feel quite as overwhelmed by foreignness as I do with the Cantonese (I found out that it is mostly Southern Chinese who live in Singapore too).
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No. 15178
>>15176
SE Asia is actually more Hokkien than Cantonese.

>I think there is also the problem of it being totally alien.
So despite all the memes you are not, in fact, overrun by chinks?
I just kind of assumed all other Pacific Anglos were used to being around Chinese people.
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No. 15180
>>15178
He could just be used to bogans. Straya is more than just Sydney, Melbourne, and Adelaide just like we are more than NYC, LA, DC, Houston, Dallas, Atlanta, and Chicago. On an unrelated note I discovered that the Huntsman also can live in colonies, is extremely fast, and can drag mice off.
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No. 15182
>>15178
I am more used to Koreans since I worked with a lot of them. The Chinese face a two way problem with Australia in that we don't want to deal with them because they don't want to deal with us and vice versa. Most decent working Chinese are well regarded because they interact and get to know each other as at least having some common life experience as a working class person, but a lot of our Chinese now are the very rich and they don't really roll outside their own as often.
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No. 15183
Today I was at the dentist for a routine control that you do once a year so that the health insurance keeps paying the bills.
The dentist looked, scratched with his tiny ice-pickle at a few places, then put his instruments away with resignation and said "Nothing, I have nothing to do here, your teeth are perfect."

It was the first time this happened to me - I think - and I'm kinda proud of it :3
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No. 15186
>>15183
>routine control that you do once a year so that the health insurance keeps paying the bills

I have been to the dentist last time in 2014. Feels bad. I once in a while recall I should visit the dentist but I never make an appointment. I'm not really scared, but I know my teeth could be in better shape.
>>
No. 15187
>>15186
If you need anything major like a replacement of teeth (and it's not caused by an accident) your Krankenkasse will only pay for it if you have a streak of at least 10 years of routine check-ups.
I am currently at 6/10, after breaking the combo due to moving out and not knowing shit about living on your own.
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No. 15189
>>15187
>your Krankenkasse will only pay for it if you have a streak of at least 10 years of routine check-ups.

What a fucking mafia
>>
No. 15191
>>15189
Yes, but on the flip side it forces me to see the dentist at least once a year, which saved me from tooth ache at least once.
>>
No. 15194
>>15187
Same for every Krankenkasse? I would be in my mid-thirties by then. Dayum. The bad things happen later I hope.
>>
No. 15196
I spent my day trying to finish the assigned book. I have ~10 pages to go but it's painfully mediocre children's poetry with forced in your face references.
Cleaned up a bit.
After finishing the 10 pages, I'll be making notes for my 10 minutes long History presentation. This time I was instructed to restrain myself and talk strictly for 10 minutes, unlike last time when I talked for 45.

I have this "panic" feeling on me. It's like there is some form of imminent doom coming to end me. I've decided to sort out my papers to calm down.
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No. 15197
>>15189
It is one of the less stupid rules in my opinion. If you brush your teeth regularly, you are done with such a checkup in half an hour, and it costs you nothing.
>>
No. 15202
Thursday was officially the start of the Christmas holiday at work. We got the wine out and someone put on a Christmas playlist while we joked around because there is no real work to do until January 2nd with almost everyone taking leave or "working from home". The strange feel was noticing how I'd been involuntarily smiling for a solid hour. It's not like I don't ever smile, when I tell a joke or achieve something for example, but this was like a content smile which I'd forgotten about. It felt strange, almost like that sensation when you're just the right amount of drunk so that everything feels okay in life. Such Christmas cases.

But of course today dragged on and on because there's really nothing to do even if I get wine.* I'm still in all days aside from Christmas, Boxing Day and New Years Day because someone needs to be in the office for emergencies and I don't mind shouldering that burden...but on some days it will just be me from my team doing 10-4.

Does Ernst have anything to recommend? Such as an interesting site to read. I probably can't just read a book or post on EC because other people will be around and even listening to youtube is complicated by my work laptop not allowing adblock extensions. This is going to get tortuous if I'm reading the news all day.

*It's not a proper civil service building without bottles of red wine and prosecco stashed everywhere. Aside from Welsh government which is strictly dry after a member of Welsh regional government delivered a speech while being quite visibly pissed.

>>15133
Well, do you want to grow up or not? It's not like it's the end of the world if you try and fuck up.
>>
No. 15203
>>15202
You could read a pdf if you are able to browse news pages.

---

I ate a fresh fig for the first time in my life and it was tasting odd at first but the aftertaste is really good and I could imagine it eating with cheese or ham. Too bad I don't have the budget really to buy good cheese and ham. Well I could work out a new diet, so I don't buy so much trash but less and quality food Thinking about changing to raw vegetables, fruits and bread + cheese and meat all day everyday. Never have to prepare shit again when coming home, less dirty dish
>>
No. 15205
7,6 MB, 40 pages
7,2 MB, 104 pages
I see as the end of the year is nearing, Ernsts are getting contemplative and ready to deliver some serious blogpostings, I have some reading carved out for me :D

Yesterday I got frustrated because I realized I still have more work to do on my thesis than I expected, so I ended up staying up too late and got derailed from my successful working schedule today.

In part to blame is also a PDF I read yesterday about "Politigram" which is apparently a recent subculture of teenagers engaged in (roughly speaking) post-ironic radical politics memeposting on Instagram.
I guess that's why today I remembered that during my rebellious teen phase in the later 00's I used to lurk on Zoklet and various other hacker/carder BBS forums. Zoklet was truly a breeding ground for all sorts of (mostly American) petty criminals, junkies and degenerates and I'm not particularly proud I spent my time there.
In any case I did some research and it struck me how weird and different and anarchistic these times (in at least certain places) were on the internet. Even checking the Encycloped Dramatica pages on it feels like a total blast from the past, they're full of vulgarities that would nowadays be mostly unthinkable on the internet.

I dislike these sorts of nostalgic ruminations but I think there is definitely something interesting and unique there so I feel inclined to do some more research about it and maybe write something about it myself, alas all these forums are dead and it'd be very hard and time consuming to wade through any archives if any exist.

I'm attaching the recent PDF on "Politgram" and the Zoklet "Bad Ideas" guide I found from 2009 on petty crime, explosives and other stuff which I suppose could be described as a dilettante version of the Anarchist's Cookbook in the case anyone is intrigued
>>
No. 15206
>>15157
Just stay for one drink and then leave to 'buy cigarettes'. Anyone asks you can just say you had to go quite far to find a place selling them and decided to just go home.

t.shy at formal-fun gatherings

>>15168
I also like the Trial. I think it resonates with how we all really live what with mortality and the various anxieties of 'being found out' or being trapped in an illogical world alone even though we're more-or-less innocent.

>>15203
Good idea but personally I find reading off a screen quite difficult on the eyes. Short journal articles are fine but I know from my academic research days that anything longer is hellish to maintain focus on.

I'll have to try out a proper e-reader one day.
>>
No. 15207
>>15205
>politogram

interesting. I always wondered about the many facebook meme pages with political content or the many crippling depression/anxiety/nihilism pages. Not dug into it much as my youth is over but still interesting to see how younger people handle it. It's not like I could not relate with some content tho.

Maybe some thesis or abstract you could give by yourself?
>>
No. 15209
>>15206
>I'll have to try out a proper e-reader one day.

Definitely. I've held out for a long time by only reading paper books or when I really wanted to some sub-100 page works on the computer or my smartphone, preferably things I could finish in one sitting)
Then I recently purchased a Kindle Paperwhite e-reader and it's really a joy to read on it, easy on the eyes, easy to focus on what you're reading, easy to just pick it up and read a few pages whenever I have a moment. I'm sure you won't regret it but that's enough with the sales pitch

I guess I can also chime in with a few websites to read. These mostly consist of longreads/essays so it's not too short like a normal news article but usually not too long either:
www.ribbonfarm.com
> not too autistic blog on culture, software and other topics, comitted to exploring weird novel ways to look at old topics
www.slatestarcodex.com
> entertaining autism about psychology/psychiatry, politics and other topics
www.gwern.net
> thoroughly researched autism about genetics, IQ and other topics
www.ecosophia.net
> very relaxed autism about civilizational collapse and other topics

>>15207
Forgive me but I'm moderately intoxicated so could you elaborate what you are referring to by
>Maybe some thesis or abstract you could give by yourself?
>>
No. 15211
>>15209
>Forgive me but I'm moderately intoxicated so could you elaborate what you are referring to by

a summery of the argument more or less, but I just read the whole thing.
If these are really just kids taking part in these online spaces I wonder how they are able to grapple with these philosophies. It's really more or less memeing. Individual answers for teens and tweens that are feed up with mainstream answers. They sense something is wrong we the contemporary, also a feel of unease.
But in how much is the perceived doom that is driving these people real? There is always one more deconstruction to do. a friend told me that one idea of speculative realism is to speculate on how reality is, in order to find out how it let us construct realities, somehow?? if that makes sense

An interesting side effect of this read: The compression of ideas in memes. I think it's good for agitation but it's surface intellectualism too. And I would no hesitate to say it's cool. Yeah, theory is cool, it sets you of from the rest of normies. Diving deep down into these thoughts so far of from the daily routine is an adventure, it lures you. At least I can say that is true for me and I'm passed 25. And having meet lecturers who are still hungry for thoughts I think this will never stop. One will only handle it differently. With more cool than these "kids" in their online spaces who use Land to dramatize the self and their depression I don't want it to sound so judgemental since I can understand that, I have such down phases but more often I just keep more calm about it, instead of dooming everything. Also making a swift from political theory to more art related stuff atm
>>
No. 15212
>>15211
Now saying that it's cool, perhaps the is the prolongation of the edgy teen into the deeply sociopolitical sphere. But not only teens and young people get that things seem quite shit. Lack of answers to all our problems are not only faces by young people. That is why the change in the overtone window works well right now. The internet works as an accelerator and mulitplicator.
>>
No. 15213
The power just went off and on again, it's been doing this often lately. I worry that it will affect my PC.
>>
No. 15214
>>15213
That's....strange

It's actually been doing the exact same thing here all day. Last time it went off was maybe, 20 minutes ago or something like that? I think the first time I noticed it shut off was seven hours ago.
>>
No. 15215
>>15213
I am afraid it will. If this happens a lot, I suggest investing in a small UPS, something that will keep you up and running for a five-ten minutes until you save your work and shut down your PC. Those voltage drops can kill your HDD or in certain cases, your PSU.

According to APC, these devices start from around USD 75, see if you can find one that suits your needs.
>>
No. 15217
>>15215
What he said, I've got a USP from my Unis data centre very cheap after they bought new ones and it's really comforting to know that my servers are fine even if the power goes out.
>>
No. 15219
It did it again...

>>15214
It has been doing it for the last few weeks but usually in the morning and usually only once. This is the first time it has happened twice and so late at that as well. I decided to try HOI4 online but it ruined that.

>>15215
>>15217
How much power do they take to tun?
>>
No. 15230
kohlchan is now officially the most retarded imageboard. what happened there today:
>kohlchan /b/ is close to 1,000,000 posts
>some helmut (i refrain from naming them bernd, since these low iq lachschon retards never have been bernd nor will ever become bernd), most likely a mod, opens a thread with subject 1,000,000 GET and stickies it half an hour before the GET occurs
>post #1,000,000 occurs in this thread with some user posting "now"
>retards congratulate for aquiring the "get"
>mod changes "now" in the #1,000,000 post to "hitler did nothing wrong"
>retards proceed to fill the thread with LOLOL 1000000 GET LEFTISTS BTFO LEFTISTS BUTTHURT HEIL HITLER HEIL HITLER
>1000000 GET rac thread
>i tell them that it's a failget, because gets are supposed to be a new thread in order to be a proper get
>LOLOLOLOL you're wrong it's a proper get, go back to reddit
>i facepalm, tell them that bernd is dead and close the tab
>>
No. 15233
>>15219
You can get USPs for various situations and depending on how many watts you need they will be more expensive.
You should chose one with 25% more watts than the thing(s) you want to protect due to spikes (especially common in the PFC PSUs you find in PCs).

For a bunch of mid-power servers (lots of HDDs but no GPU or high-perf CPU) you can get away with 500W, for a gaming PC I'd get at least 1000W. Remember that while your PC might not need as much now, you don't want to buy a new USP each time you upgrade your PC hardware.

And a 1000W USP won't eat 1000W if the PC you plug behind it just requires 500W. They usually eat about 2-5% more than they deliver, so it's a slight increase in cost, negligible for the power consumption of most devices.
>>
No. 15234
>>15230
I had the most amazing thread in AGES yesterday, it was a fragrance discussion and I got borderline excited as fragrances is one massive obsession of mine. The thread boiled down to a discussion between myself, a german and an australian who made me quite interested in visiting the outback and compiling a profile of smells, and it appears that the german has the fragrance bug in him but he hasnt figured it out yet. It would be very interesting to see his new hobby unfurling into something he might enjoy.
>>
No. 15235
Es ist das Wochenende!!
I am planning to take it easy today, I have a trivial greek movie from 1959 that a belgian poster gave to me and I really want to watch. I saw a clip from it yesterday and the acting heavily reminded me of our movies from the same era -- the actors clothes, looks, delivery...I was amazed. Plus, I kind of recognized some words from back when I was trying to learn greek! But guys, let me tell you this -- THEY SPEAK REALLY FAST OH MY GOD. Reminds me of how fast bavarians speak german and how they can deliver an entire page from a random book in three seconds...
>>
No. 15238
>>15219
what this fellow said >>15233
IIRC, The running cost of the device will not hurt your wallet as you dont suffer from hours-long power outages, you just want something to keep your computer safe from voltage drops or spikes.
>>
No. 15278
>>15234
You should try and convince them, Kuwait, Iraq, Peru, etc to come post here then. Sometimes the exception proves the rule. We used to have discussions on KC about this too so they're probably a couple of the few surviving bernds.
>>15238
>or spikes
I thought a surge protector did that?
>>
No. 15285
>>15278
>You should try and convince them, Kuwait, Iraq, Peru, etc to come post here then.
Maybe not now tho. We currently turned into some light speed posting.
>>
No. 15291
Today was a really good day.
I voluntarily helped with the Christmas shopping.
Then when I got home, I made the notes and bullet points for my History presentation.
Then I read around 70 pages of Soseki's Botchan.
Also took some notes on that too.

I remember buying that book. It was a summer afternoon, and I had to go into the inner city to get it at the bookshop of the publisher. I was surprised to find it for sale brand new, since it was originally printed 15 years ago. Guess it just doesn't have a market.
So I went there, and on my way to the shop I walked into a teahouse where I bought some matcha. One serving of Matcha powder. I never actually drank that. Still have it sitting in a box.
I was looking for a gaiwan or a Chinese style cup, to replace my old one, which I broke by accident.
Found none.
So then I to to the bookstore, paid for the book, and the lady working there showed me around and said they have other publications that are older and might interest me.
They had 20-25 year old books still for sale. I didn't had much money on me, so the only thing I managed to get was a bilingual Chinese-Hungarian poetry collection. And even then, I was 20 or so forints short to buy it. She still sold it to me.
I really hated that part of town. The way to the metro was pawed with shady shops and shady vendors. And it was dirty too.
Let's say it out loud, I don't really like the "Pest" part of "Budapest".

Anyway. I also looked through my hanzi cards and I remembered all of them.
I wanted to make a bunch of new ones, but I just can't draw them right for the life of me. Gonna do them tomorrow.

Another good thing that happened today was that I found out that an anime I really liked has two extra seasons I haven't watched. I'm not too big on jap-cartoons but from time to time I can stomach them.

I don't plan on doing any "schoolwork" for the coming two days. I'll have to help with decorating. Hopefully I can read the books I want to.
>>
No. 15294
>>15278
I am guessing too that these are a few surviving bernds and they would be a nice addition to EC, but, I would like people to find EC on their own. It takes time to know this place and read the board.

Also I saw Kuwait posting here some time ago, I guess he will come back if he feels like it, also Iraq rarely pops into cabbage.
>>
No. 15296
>>15294
What about vegan Chile? Have you seen any other recognizable bernds or is it entirely a mix of cripplechan and 4kanker now?
>>
No. 15298
recognizable bernds, I dont think so.
Sean tried to revive tinychan and even got a former bernd on the chat, and that crashed and burned horribly. The audience quality took a plunge downwards. However there are some bernds who make some cozy threads and nice discussion every now and then. I wish those two bernds find their way here...also there is an indonesian who is studying in singapore, very friendly and cozy fellow. I would love for him to find here.

The rest of the people, sadly just bad. 4shits /pol/, frogposting, /r9k/...it became a shitsalad waay too quickly.
>>
No. 15301
I made this Orzo dish today: http://cookbookcrusher.blogspot.com/2015/11/toasted-nut-orzo-achewood-cookbook.html
It was very easy and tasted really good

>>15291
>an anime I really liked has two extra seasons I haven't watched
Now I'm curious, which one?
>>
No. 15308
I just browsed through available jobs for english speakers from western companies situated in Kazakhstan.

There's plenty of openings for software developers and they pay well. Unfortunately, I'm not a Senior .NET developer, nor do I have 5 years experience in Java.

I wonder if I could bullshit my way in, or at least ask for an internship as a trainee. Like, just call them and say "hey, I want a job".
>>
No. 15309
26 kB, 432 × 401
113 kB, 600 × 417
>>15308
Why not just conspire with your fellow ernsts? Just say you apprenticed with of us or whatever and worked for me or something since I'm pretty sure saying you got paid to do work for a Westerner would also look good.
https://www.toptal.com/dot-net/job-description
Hmm okay I personally have zero background in having anything to do with being a code monkey and I'm not even a skiddie but I could bullshit through this. In fact, now that I think of it I just realized I think I still have fuckloads of business card templates lying around somewhere which I could just print out and mail the fucking guy my letter of recommendation and business card to Kazakhstan. We need something like an SBE Group, the Society for Betterment of Ernsts including the Ernst Benevolent Society. I always wanted for us to develop some kind of a KC secret society type thing which would've been funny but eh whatever.

You should read this and be inspired
https://telstarlogistics.typepad.com/telstarlogistics/2006/09/what_is_telstar.html
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/BavarianFireDrill/RealLife
>>
No. 15312
>>15309
Well, bullshitting through interviews is theoretically easy, the problem comes when you get your first work assignment, and whether you can actually complete it :-DDDD

I dunno I recently heard news that my former art school mates organized an art "studio" and are now taking commissions. Perhaps I could try for that, since that'd be something I actually enjoy (sorta). On another hand, I'd get paid in local currency, which would suck because it's basically worthless.

It's a shame that all "tell others what to do and do nothing yourself" positions require diplomas/connections, etc., because I'm really good at telling others what to do, and even how to live their lives :-DDDD.
>>
No. 15313 Kontra
Just realized for people that don't know what a benevolent society is
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendly_society
I didn't actually know it was a different term in the rest of teh Anglosphere. And also
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/501(c)_organization#501(c)(4)
Although anything registered as a tax code 501(c) could work well too provided it is not for profit (not that it matters because the megarich know how to also use this as a financial instrument, which one guy got sloppy about >>15311)
I am pretty sure that we could also basically just have a US based ernst do it regardless of that individual basically being a front for foreign nationals provided you don't mind the CIA looking into your financial instrument alongside the IRS, which it probably will. Or possibly some other country where something at an organizational level would get some kind of state sanctioned perks.

Brick is already somehow involved in business but some terms
Group
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporate_group

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limited_liability_company
https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/form-llc-how-to-organize-llc-30287.html
and so on.

What are the financial instruments and laws in your countries like? I know Germany has the GmbH and Japan has the Zaibatsu, also ROSCAs.
>>
No. 15314
>>15312
Why would you need to be paid in local currency if you are speaking in English and part of an international community aka the internet while taking commissions? Oh do you mean, it would be deposited in funds within your local bank and only dealt out in denominations of your currency or something?

>It's a shame that all "tell others what to do and do nothing yourself" positions require diplomas/connections, etc., because I'm really good at telling others what to do, and even how to live their lives :-DDDD.
Comrade, we share in this plight but fortunately you are connected to me so let us just say now you have connections. Now all we need to do is convince others of your connections. Let us see if we can make quorum in this ITT threda.
>>
No. 15315
>>15314
No, I meant they take commissions for physical paintings, here in Almaty.

They're not internet freelancers because they don't speak English.
>>
No. 15319
140 kB, 640 × 480
Just finished writing my paper for Oriental studies. I think it is a pretty poor one but all the necessary requirements have been met so I will probably get a positive mark. Oh, and all my free time recently has been spent reading about Enoch Powell. Such a fascinating figure.
>>
No. 15328
>>15319
But isn't Russia herself part of the Orient?

>>15308
>There's plenty of openings for software developers and they pay well. Unfortunately, I'm not a Senior .NET developer, nor do I have 5 years experience in Java.

Many of those in Kazakhstan? Just bullshit as everyone else does and expect on your first day to be given training.

I wouldn't recommend trying to make a living from art commissions but then I would say that because I'm a fuggin square ¢:D-
>>
No. 15329
>>15328
>I wouldn't recommend trying to make a living from art commissions but then I would say that because I'm a fuggin square ¢:D-

In the west it's not really possible unless you are quite good or willing to draw horrid things but in Kazakhstan it might be different. Things like Patreon will probably always pay in US dollars and if the value of the US dollar against the Kazakh one is high and the cost of living in Kazakhstan is low he could probably do it.
>>
No. 15334
261 kB, 354 × 699
I said fuck you to wörk and took an almost two week leave. Suddenly depression went away and I feel like a human bean again. I guess wörk generates almost all of my stress and bad feels, and makes me sip monsters alone at night in the park after work just to calm down. Rly should do something about this but decent jobs are very limited in this country. Most live worse lives than me.
>>
No. 15335
What's the story behind Australian birthday song "Why was he born so beautiful?"
More importantly, why does it soind horrifying for other people of Anglosphere?
>>
No. 15336
>>15328
It is, which makes studying the Orient more inportant for Russians than for other countries, namely Britain
>>
No. 15338
108 kB, 600 × 539
>>15334
Unemployment in most of Europe is actually really low right now so you shouldn't give up and die a slow death. Worst comes to it you can always fly to Bongland before 29th March and be swimming in job offers (and I might even take you for a pint).

>>15336
True, Oriental Studies has always been more of a subject popular among the French from my own observations. I remember being in Sheffield and the French girls all still did it despite studying in the proper North of England.

Maybe the crypto-colony conspiracy has been exposed to the non-slavic peoples.
>>
No. 15339
70 kB, 1080 × 1350
>>15338
My fears about bongland is that all of those offers will be polish toilet cleaner tier and I'll be stuck among poles and pakis living the lyfe of a shit tier immigrant.
>>
No. 15341 Kontra
17 kB, 225 × 300
>>15308
Maybe they'll hire you as Senior .NEET developer

I'm sorry I had to do it
>>
No. 15342 Kontra
34 kB, 550 × 779
>>
No. 15344 Kontra
21 kB, 250 × 369
>>15341
awful
>>
No. 15347
>>15339
Well, yeah. Not gonna lie there's a big worry here among farmers and warehouses about finding workers but you might still find something better than your current job depending on skills.
>>
No. 15349
>>15339
You are already depressed and complaining all the time. Who gives a shit? Maybe it is especially harder for me as an American to understand but basically you sit here complaining about how depressed and poor you are and then there's an opportunity to change that. Problem is not your situation then, a problem is you. If you don't like it and get the worst shit job then fine, empty British bins for a couple years then move back with a ton more money. You're not even getting on some rickety damp ship to cross the Atlantic you can get on a comfy plane. Although with brexit idk how things turn out. It won't be poorer than Latvia but might not be a great bet. Plus with whatever their idea of "attracting high skilled workers" maybe you could squeeze through still.
>>
No. 15351
Had another wonderful day.
Read 70 pages of Botchan, then I made the remaining 15 or so hanzi cards.

I felt really bad today. My legs felt weak, and I couldn't concentrate on drawing the characters correctly. And just as this feeling came, it passed too.
Maybe the novel I was reading was too unsettling for me and that's the reason. Or it's the season's doing.

I was working really slowly today. It wasn't exactly work I was doing, because I've decided that I won't do any homework in the coming two days.

Ate some home made scones. It had smoked cheese on it.

Currently making some sencha.

I'm awaiting tomorrow's "ceremonies". Hopefully I'll get hold of some money besides the book and tea I asked for.

>>15301
>Now I'm curious, which one?
Sayonara, Zetsubou Sensei.
It's comedy. But it's good comedy.
My main problem with most anime is that they have an all-female cast that doesn't amount to much in terms of content.
This one has a mostly female cast too, but here at least it's the male lead who is pulling the strings.
And thankfully the subjects the show tackles go beyond the usual "cute girls do cute things" nonsense.
>>
No. 15352
>>15349
>>15347
https://www.theguardian.com/business/2018/may/31/amazon-accused-of-treating-uk-warehouse-staff-like-robots
I'll just kys after a month of toilet cleaning or amazon fullfilment center tier warehouse work, no matter the pay. That's the kind of soul sucking evil I want to escape from, not sell myself to for more pennies. Sad that my current job is also the only thing I'm qualified to do, excluding languages. So I'll probably be doing same shit there if I apply based on my previous job xp.
>>
No. 15353
If I do a Christmas day IWO.
What would you want to see.
>>
No. 15359
>>15352
Just don't work at Amazon. Worst comes to it you can work at Aldi, get a job in a phoneshop or make tea for senile old ladies all day. If moving abroad is too scary then go look into Latvian civil service - the hope of escape alone should help you deal with life.

Problems weren't.

>>15353
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9smiBsMBug

Or Hong Kong Christmas stuff. Has it became a Chinese tradition yet like the Japanese going to KFC?
>>
No. 15363
1,5 MB, 1600 × 703
Today I drove for 120 minutes (60 of them were on a full bladder) with my father to a funeral. I went into the outskirts of the Old Cairo area (near the citadel where my father's old home was). Every single time I see this area I get really, really sad and angry. I am seeing an important part of my country's heritage and monuments - 800 and 900 year old buildings and houses - being overrun by bydlo fucks who dont really care about anything and act like literal dirty pigs, and the government is just standing there drooling like a fucktard and does nothing to help this area go back to it's former glory.

The mosque that had the funeral prayers was a very nice mosque, around built somewhere around 821-865AD, and had a lot of expansions afterwards. I could not get inside from the density of people that were inside the mosque. There were also three cats inside the mosque, one of them was so sweet. I could not get my camera out because I was in a funeral situation, but I would have churned out a zillion pictures for you guys.

>>15353
Hong Kong is an unexplored territory. So anything would be nice, really.
>>
No. 15365
5 kB, 230 × 219
>>
No. 15367
>>15363
>There were also three cats inside the mosque
Animals are allowed to enter mosques?
>>
No. 15368
>>15367
Cats are okay, other animals arent. Why? no idea -- and dogs are "filthy" though.
>>
No. 15370
>>15368
THanks for clarifying, that's very interesting.
>>
No. 15371
>>15368
I-Isn't the affinity due to the Mohammed's own love of cats? In particular the story of how one fell asleep on his sleeve so he cut the sleeve off rather than disturb him. Hence why cats have historically had a much better time in Islamic countries.

The dog thing was explained to me because of how terrifying rabies is and to which the Middle East is a hotbed of.
>>
No. 15372 Kontra
>>15371
Note: These facts may have been reveled to me in a dream.
>>
No. 15373
>>15371
I read that as well but I am a little bit of a skeptic on that...

Now for the dog part, there are some stories from ye olde sheikhs that the prophet made dogs illegal because they're filthy but allowed them as guards (because he was a sheep herder and he had to have a dog guarding his herd). Then later on down the line some not so old sheikhs said that the dog's nose is the source of the filth (no idea what kind of autopsy degree they obtained to sanction such statement), then these days this is being debated as this story is made up just like a lot of stories and hadiths made up by those idiots who established Wahhabism.
>>
No. 15374 Kontra
140 kB, 274 × 286
>>
No. 15379
It is 04:10AM as I am typing this and I cannot sleep.

My head is plagued by thoughts of my future and how my current salary is not doing anything whatsoever, and I have to think about my retirement. I am actively looking for jobs here and outside of Egypt and I received no callbacks whatsoever. I applied to Google (for shits and giggles, eventhough that position is totally within my profile) and Telia Sonera in Sweden, also some other companies here.

For me to get married, I need four times my current salary, and then I can only afford to have one child, without any savings left, and for me to save - at least for retirement - I need five times my current salary, and if I wanted to save for other purposes, I need to have six to seven times my current salary, RIGHT NOW. I do not know how do people manage to get married and have children in this country with half of my salary.

I have fears that this year I would receive a negligible increase, because my company are such stingy people that I expect such move from them.

I do admit that I need to work a lot more on my profile so that I would be more qualified for better paycheck, but how on earth would I get six times my salary in this country unless I become the CEO of Egypt? I have a lot of questions that I dont have any answers to - or that answer is I need to have an exponentially better paying job and fast. I am already 32 and I have to retire at 60.

I do not know, Ernst. I do not know.

Apologies for the burst, but I needed it. I took some magnesium pills hoping that my brain would shut down and I would get some sleep before my daily grind tomorrow in a few hours.
>>
No. 15382
well, EC gone to fast for me. Previously I tried to read all posts, track every day and every poster, but currently it shifting towards being "chat" board. Posts become more short, speed of board become more fast. If this continue, soon there will not be "general threads" and it just become chat, like krautchan. Well, this is not a bad thing generaly, I guess, but clearly not for me, I don't like fast chats and prefer more cozy, fixed places to stay.
>>
No. 15384
177 kB, 1025 × 1406
There is a secret and not so secret destiny for which God made us, and it was not just to come to know Him and show others the way but to spread that Ummah across the stars and seed new worlds with life and the miracle of his Creation, and the Great Work will not be complete until the city of Zion returns to our sky and lands here.
>>
No. 15385
>>15382
I come here to chat also, Ruseia. It is making me less of a toxic, vicious, aggressive person to everyone I meet online because there is not a single ernst I dislike. This does not in any way impede my massive text wall autism shitposts, of which there are often plenty.
>>
No. 15393
>>15384
Oh hey, you're that guy. Glad to see you're still around.

That being said, YHWH is a lie, and all his scriptures and cults are a blight upon mankind. The true light of the galaxy lies in the wisdom of Dharma and Dao.
Buddha and the Pure Land, not Jesus and Zion. Praise Maitreya.
>>
No. 15394
60 kB, 735 × 551
>>15393
How you label the truth is irrelevant, only that it is true or not
>>
No. 15397
>>15379
What concrete skills do you have?
Finding a way to turn them into internet work for first worlders could be a good way to greatly increase your earnings.

By the way, your English is very good, without any mistakes that I've noticed. Could you not try to get into translating between English and Arabic? It's one of the more in-demand jobs in translation. In fact, while I've been looking for work of my own in relation to linguistics, I've seen a good number of "Arabic linguist" jobs that just require knowledge of Arabic and English, familiarity with technology, and usually a college degree.

Of course, most of these require prior authorization to work in the USA. But if you go to a site like indeed.com and type in "Arabic linguist" and related terms, you might find something that could land you a work visa. You also of course don't have to limit the search to the US.
>>
No. 15398
32 kB, 423 × 480
Lately I've been trying to carve an owl out of a block of pine wood. It's something my grandpa used to do. Seems like a decent hobby, anyway. Also it's a way to occupy my hands so I won't neurotically pick at my nails and cuticles.

Here is an example of a simple carved owl.
>>
No. 15409
I have a thing from Singapore that I wish I could bring back to Australia. The ability to walk into a corner store at any time of the day and buy beer. They even get to drink it on the street here.

Other than that, this place is hell on earth tbh. It is cacophonous and nearly devoid of ordnung. People cut in line if one even forms to begin with, there is no flow of foot traffic in favour of a free for all and no respect for personal space.

Is this the norm and my home's relatively wide and open streets with some form of order the outlier? How is line culture and such in your city?
>>
No. 15410
>>15409
>They even get to drink it on the street here.
I was apprehended by the police and had to give a bride for drinking beer on the streets once :-DDDD.

All three were russian manlets straight out of the academy, I could kick their asses single handedly and get away with it, but I was in a really good (alcohol induced) mood then.
>>
No. 15411
>>15410
The Kazakh people suffer under the Russian yoke. When will the freedom loving steppe people unite and enjoy the right of drinking in public?
>>
No. 15415
>>15410
>had to give a bride
I will assume that was an ebin mistake and not actually that exact bribe :-DDDD

If that was the case, then gas the Orystar, steppe war now!
>>
No. 15416
>>15411
>enjoy the right of drinking in public
I'd be careful, Islamic yoke isn't sleeping.
>>
No. 15422
74 kB, 640 × 480
>>15359
It's not scary. Nothing scares me since I have nothing to lose and depression made me kind of okay with not waking up one day. If some asshole threatens me with a knife outside today I'll say do it motherfucker. Problem is I can hop on a plane to somewhere, but what the fuck do I do once it lands? Not like someone actually helps people get accustomed to everything fresh off the plane. Or at all.
>>
No. 15430
60 kB, 720 × 960
Today was surprisingly productive despite the rest of the country taking the day off. It's amazing what you can achieve with minimal distractions even if half my stuff ended with an out of the office reply. I got in after 10, took many breaks, a long lunch and then I went home at 1500 after flirting with gril. People spending their holiday time over the Christmas period are fools.

>>15379
Can't you send the wife out to work?

I know your feels about income though. I was putting together a post yesterday about how I sometimes wish I'd stayed in my hometown and never did academic research, would be on twice what I am right now but in a much cheaper area and probably have married my Polish waifu. Such regrets when you're no longer in your early 20s when none of this stuff matters.

>I have to retire at 60

Best of luck with that. In 30 years time the only place our generation will be retiring to is the knackers yard.

>>15422
Well, for starters you would ideally email your cv around beforehand and get a job offer. Then probably look around on reddit London or something and some leftist/immigrant will adopt.

You can even claim bennies for 6 months :DDD
>>
No. 15431
>>15411
You get arrested if you do that here.
>>
No. 15440
Every year the general low grade malice, selfishness, and stupidity of my family but especially my parents just makes me think that much more poorly of liberals and boomers. Every year I think more and more that the only good thing is a patriarchal family with a hard working, non abusive husband and kind wife. Every year I think more and more how shit everything is particularly as shaped by that one self absorbed generation.
>>
No. 15448
1,4 MB, 2801 × 2148
I finally finished reading that Soseki book I started three days ago.
It got a lot more bearable, but the middle part was just overly stressing for me. I'm going to read some Chinese novellas tomorrow.

I ate too many salonzuckerl, and it's killing me. Honestly, the Christmas season always makes me feel disgusted with sweets after the first day.

Christmas celebrations are getting less and less special each year. At least for me. It's not really magical after the 18th time.
Got a lot more presents than what I've asked for.
I'm just happy that I have that two volume set of von Eschenbach's Parzival. And that packet of Yunnanese tea.
I consider the bottle of Polish(?) vodka and the giftcard a bonus.
A bydlo relative who works abroad also gave me 30 Euros.

Anyway, the Hungarian edition of Parzival is really ugly, because they got some prestigious jerkwad to do the "Art" for the covers. It has good binding, good quality paper, even the translation is a reputable man, and yet, they decided to pick this talentless hack to do the art. For shame. It also contains an essay on the book itself, and an afterword by the translator. Which is unusual. (By today's standards anyway)
For whatever Godforsaken reason it also has a ~60 pages long essay by some random Christian-esotericist jew. This guy https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georg_K%C3%BChlewind . I have no idea who the fuck this is, or why is he relevant to Eschenbach's Parzifal. It's an enigma to me.
I'm just glad to have the text itself. I'll read it after I've read the Kudrun.

I hope you all have a merry Christmas. (Well, if you celebrate it, that is. If not, then I just wish you a fine day then.)
>>
No. 15450 Kontra
>>15430
>Polish waifu
Don't
>>
No. 15454
Called a translation agency, they sent me a test assignment containing dry technical texts.
Google is actually quite competent at translating such texts, and the output requires only minor editing of punctuation. So I'm trying to guess their end game.

Perhaps they want to test whether I am proficient in academic style, in which case I'm fucked, but whoop te doo. We'll see.

Next up, gotta call some dude looking for a system administrator with good english skills.
>>
No. 15455
>>15448
>For whatever Godforsaken reason it also has a ~60 pages long essay by some random Christian-esotericist jew.
The Arthurian tales appeal to a lot of esotericists; maybe the publisher included the essay by Kühlewind as an additional selling point. It might be useful, or it might be 10 pages you read and 50 you can skip. Aside from the questionable book cover and cloying salonzuckerl, it sounds like your day was a success. Merry Christmas.
>>
No. 15457
162 kB, 320 × 240
343 kB, 640 × 356
Today I have found out that one of the first youtube "let's players" I ever subscribed to as a kid has taken his life. He's dead.

At some point in his life he got married and quit youtube, but then his life turned to shit, he became a homeless alcoholic, a divorcee, and allegedly was suffering from schizophrenia.

His first video on his channel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baDCsCoofxo
His last video (ever):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg_mXChu4rE

This feels surreal. I just wanted to rewatch some of the old funny videos that I liked as a kid, but instead discovered the news about his death. I don't know if it's weird that his death had more of an emotional effect on me than the deaths of my cousin and uncle from father's side. Well, I disliked them both while they were alive, to be fair.
>>
No. 15458
I'm visiting my parents at their new place this year which means I've already had to set-up the wifi after being explicitly told it was working before I arrived. Such 'he's good with computers' cases. Merry Christmas to one and all (unless you're a Jew)

The place is a shithole and the old couple living next door were evicted 6 months ago but have decided to squat with no electric or water. As the wife is disabled I reckon they will sudoku on boxing day if they're still in there. I'll have to check for bodies at some point.

>>15450
b-but her body mang and she made nice pierogi. Also rich.

>>15454
Academic style?

>>15440
>the only good thing is a patriarchal family with a hard working, non abusive husband and kind wife.

So, all you want for Christmas is Japan adopt?
>>
No. 15459
>>15458
For example, when translating a research paper from english to russian, one is supposed to use codified analogues to english scientific terms and vocabulary, not simply translate the meaning.

Or at least that's what I assume.
>>
No. 15460
My family just imploded. I think that trying to stay out of my sisters argument and not escalate it just made me no longer on speaking terms with the younger one. Ebin. Not even mad really. Probably meant to be but such cases.
>>
No. 15461
Merry Christmas and happy holidays, Ernsts. I wish for you all the happiness in the world!

>>15397
>Skills
All technical stuff and I am still working on them. I am a network consultant working for a multinational company. Translation is great and everything, but it has no concrete income that I can rely on.

>>15430
>Send out wife to work
In a perfect world, I would like for her to be free to do whatever she wants, may it be working or staying at home, and for me to support that I have to have a massive income that would support the household no matter what, especially that children eat up money, and I will not be compromising my children's education quality whatsoever. This way she'll have to work to help bring more income to the household.

Of course, all of that are subject to myself even get married in the first place.

Loon at me, all big talk and I cannot even buy my monthly e liquid, heh...
>>
No. 15462
1,7 MB, 4032 × 3024
>>15455
I mean, could you resist this badboii?
My mother got a box of these premium quality chocolates from the company, and it's basically bitter chocolate with nougat filling which is also bitter chocolate with some rum, all wrapped in silky smooth paper.
It's so rare that I get my hands one some actually good quality sweets.
It's like the plot of some Victorian era novel or short story. The family gets some expensive thing that's out of their reach 90% of the time and tastes what life is like one strata above. But this imagined upper strata life is false. If I were rich to eat these candied regularly, I wouldn't give a damn about them. This would be the norm. They wouldn't be special.

These candies are traditional here. Only sold during the holiday seasons.
It can have marzipan filling, nougat filling, chocolate filling, coconut filling or jelly filling.
But 90% of szaloncukor is shitty sugary filling covered in fake chocolate that doesn't even melt if you lick it.
This one is a bite into the good life. Of how things should be.

>it sounds like your day was a success
Yeah, it was. The only so called failure I had was that I had to confess my grandmother that I'm not learning Russian.

I'll spend today in the vein of laziness. I'll play a campaign as the USSR in HoI2 and watch a few episodes of Anime. Maybe read that Chinese novella later.
>>
No. 15464
71 kB, 599 × 646
>>15462
I want elite chocolates now too
>>
No. 15466
>>15460
I had no idea they were going to force you to take a holiday during Christmas, what cunts lol.
>>
No. 15483
197 kB, 1238 × 1312
I got an A in organic chemistry!

I'm a fucking idiot and I acknowledge that. I suspect that my faculties are sub-par. However I am going to work my darnedest to become a surgeon or a dentist! I am going to study hard over the winter break to get a head start on next semester's wörk!
>>
No. 15489
>>15483
Congratulations, Ernst!
That's the spirit! Keep pushing and hope for the best. I wish you all the best of luck.
>>
No. 15490
Just noticed that there are 3 grammatical errors and 1 typo in the test assignment I sent yesterday.

And they're all in the first two paragraphs as well. Dang it.
>>
No. 15491
30 kB, 680 × 544
>>15489
Thank you so much Egyptian Ernst. I respect you a lot. You are a really cool guy and I often wonder about what your life is like in Egypt. Merry Christmas! If there is a Muslim holiday that occurs during the winter season I hope you have a merry one! God bless you! God bless all mankind! Happy Ramadan!

Sorry, I tend to become euphoric when I am drunk. I hope I didn't say anything too dumb. I just had a long conversation with my grandfather (who is 90 years old) about his experiences in Japan as an American serviceman during the occupation. He is a wise old soul and a much better person than me.
>>
No. 15498
I got the paper I handed in yesterday back and a few words had been written on it with a pencil by the professor in charge of checking it. Apparently, I screwed up the visual design of the paper and will be forced to redo it. I wish I could present this paper as a speech, not in the form of written text since I always get the seemingly insignificant things such as the font size wrong and words in general flow better off my tongue than they do when I try to write them down.
>>
No. 15499
>>15462
>could you resist this badboii?
I understand completely. If high quality sweets find their way to you, then you have to indulge. While restraint is admirable, such rare opportunities must be seized.
>>
No. 15501
Called some job ad, got an interview for tomorrow 17:00.

Wew lad, apparently you just gotta keep responding to fresh ads every day, instead of NOT doing that and complaining about having no job :-DDDD

Let's keep doing that :-DDDD
>>
No. 15502
Today I went to a family gathering for boxing day. It was alright until my estranged ex-aunt in law come up with my cousins and one of my cousins 40 something year old boyfriend(who she is having a child with, I'm not sure if she is even 20 yet). I really hate these people, every year they turn up with dumb bogans like this(because they are dumb bogans themselves, he was excactly the kind of man you would think he was as well, he was thin and creepy looking, wearing black short shorts and a black t shirt with the buttons undone to halfway revealing a tattoo and he had long hair in a pony tail. I left, I wasn't going to deal with these people, the only reason they come up is of free food and presents anyway, they don't even give anyone else presents and we don't see them for the rest of the year(luckily). They ruin boxing day every year.
>>
No. 15509
kohlchan, the IQ has to be around 85-89IQ, maxing out at 105.
Fuck I only shitpost there because of threads here, but God they are dumb as fuck.
2-3 months they will get shut down for CP.
>>
No. 15510
>>15509
And the cycle will continue until the userbase has dispersed, or the non-pedos manage to win a "succession crisis".
Otherwise nothing of value will be lost.
>>
No. 15511
>>15509
>>15510
I had a few weeks of lurking there again. Glad I've been gone for a week now. It literally forces you to shitpost and waste time to begin with. It's just a huge and easy time waster. A fighter against boredom on the the lowest level, a dumb downer, like a TV that forces you to spout your non-dimensional opinion into an irrelevant internet Aether. Not to speak of the threads with little girls coming up.
It's makes interesting and fascinating sociotop like other social media in a way but that stops with CP in its "legal" forms wtf already.
>>
No. 15512 Kontra
>>15511
I used it to make ironic kremlinbot posts and pro-PRC posts when the subjects come up.
Otherwise I just bait with my age to make all the IQ89 losers angry that I still have a shot at being successful.
KC is a shithole so it only deserves shit.
>>
No. 15513 Kontra
>>15512
>kohl
Better forget at all and never remember here again
>KC
died in March
>>
No. 15515 Kontra
>>15489
son, you are very drunk, but thank you nonetheless.

polite sage.
>>
No. 15518
I just keep feeling sicker and sicker and I don't know why but it's beginning to worry me
>>
No. 15524
Spent the day pretty uselessly. Again.
Played some HoI2 and I got fucking mad.
I also watched anime. Three episodes to be exact. I actually laughed out loud multiple times. My torso hurts for whatever reason, so laughing was a bit painful. Never noticed I laugh so much.

Found an online copy of Nikolai Leskov's Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk at the Hungarian Electronic Library. Strange that for a change they have what I want.
Usually I have to get an English copy or buy a used one.
Do other countries have "national" "electronic" libraries, giving away free ebooks?

Thought about the outlines for my essay. The title the teacher gave was Does History advance?. I have to answer the question through the play we read. It'll be somewhat easy because the work follows the hegelian triad, so I can just bullshit about Hegel. (I'm doing the talk right now, I don't know if I'll be able to walk the walk)

I'm gonna read that Chinese novella before going to bed, I've decided.

Tomorrow I'll go to the bookshop to spend the store credit I was gifted. Turns out they released a new edition of one of Mishima's books, translated from the Japanese, so I'll get that.
Looked up and they had a Chinese novel too, but I'm not really interested in environmentalist literature, and I'm not dumb to jump at something just because it's from XY nation.
I'll have some leftover money on the card, so I'll see what else I can get, but I don't think I'll find anything that interesting.

I decided to have a modest dinner. A piece of bread, some cheese and a bit of salami. It's quite regenerative after all the disgusting sugary and salty stuff.
>>
No. 15525
Shit, I knew investing time in this fucking bitch would end up in desaster. But what can I say other than I was yearning for it? I knew from the beginning that she was mentally ill and a chronic slut so it has problaby been a mixture of self-hate, masochism and sexual addiction which lead me to further pursuing her. Worst thing is that I can't bring my self to hate her because all in all she is just a very troubled human being, who never knew anything else than abuse, isolation, misery and lies. Also she is very submissive, that's another reason why it's hard to drop here. Having a slut obey you whenever you want is a good feeling sometimes but in the end it's just huge suffering if you're getting involved emotionally. The thing I finally lost my temper over is that she (who is by the way in a relationship with another woman but wants to leave her) is still in contact with her abusive son-of-a-bitch best friend who keeps manipulating her by pulling and pushing. I'm so fucking done, Ernst. I might be a massive degenerate and lowlife but I struggle to just cut contact, especially as we were growing closer and closer during the last half year and I wanted her to at least once have someone around who is giving her emotional stability. How is one even supposed to deal with someone who has been treated like shit from early on? I could call her a fucking bitch for anything and she would just apologize because she is so massively hating herself. Please tell me that I should drop, tell me that I should let her rot away in her misery. Tell me that I can't do anything about it and that I'm wasting my time. Even better: tell me that she is exactly knowing what she's doing, tell me that she is an insane bitch (she is actually on meds btw) who just likes to drive other people into the abyss of her madness and that she's lost anyways.
Don't tell me about how sweet her voice sounds in the morning and don't tell me about her deep blue eyes and her perky tits. For fucks sake don't even start telling me what landscapes made for physical ecstasy do unfold below those. Just tell me that there is no hope for her, while I'm just starting to live.

t. Idiotic captain save-a-hoe
>>
No. 15526
>>15525
> Also she is very submissive, that's another reason why it's hard to drop here. Having a slut obey you whenever you want is a good feeling sometimes
I was going to say something but then got to that part. You deserve to suffer. I can't even be mad at you for being a typical German, but really you just sound like you're kind of an asshole.
> and I wanted her to at least once have someone around who is giving her emotional stability.
Well okay maybe you're not a total asshole.

Still by your own general attitude in that post, what I want to tell you is how much you're going to miss her and hate yourself when you find out you could've saved her from herself etc., but really, that would just be unfair to her. That, and you wouldn't be a total asshole if I could guilt trip you.
>>
No. 15528 Kontra
Reading the comments under a documentary about Chinas booming e-commerce I ask myself if there is any point to be made in debating such people. Most of them are kohl tier in the matter that they are short and stupid. These people who have an oh so smart answer to any problem that fits a solution in one sentence. If it would be sarcasm or irony that would be ok but I imagine most of it is written out of bydlo arrogance, thinking of themselves as bigwigs while they lead a mediocre life in Germany with mediocre education and knowledge. People who would call out a woman for being hysteric while they hide their fears behind comments that try to sound rational or smart while in fact it exposes them as hysteric boomer bydlos.

It makes me more sad than angry, tbh.
>>
No. 15534
>>15525
Even if you have infinite compassion for someone, sometimes you just have to not get involved. You can be blamed for what you did up to this point, but ultimately nobody can be asked to permanently sacrifice their happiness to someone else, unless they have already made a commitment to do just that (such as by having children - for the love of god never get lazy with birth control).

It sounds like, even with you, she will never be truly happy, and that you will never be truly happy with her. Can you foresee yourself and her having a nice conversation as old people, 40 years from now, still content to be with each other after all stupefying brain chemicals have vanished? If not, leave now, and never look back.

> Also she is very submissive, that's another reason why it's hard to drop here. Having a slut obey you whenever you want is a good feeling sometimes
>Don't tell me about how sweet her voice sounds in the morning and don't tell me about her deep blue eyes and her perky tits.
That being said, I completely understand why you have a hard time leaving her. In your situation I think I would act exactly the same way. The male brain is a weak thing, and even the best of us can be short-circuited by a simple feminine thot. But, in your moments of clarity, remember that the relationship is good for neither your or the thot, and commit to ending it.

I suggest some combination of moving, cutting off contact, spending a good amount of time with prostitutes, possibly vacationing in Thailand, and, ideally, finding some new woman to obsess over who is of higher quality and better long-term compatibility. The last part is of course the hardest part, but your stupid male monkey brain is going to be constantly telling you to go back to the last warm female body that was yours until you can find a new one.
>>
No. 15536 Kontra
>>15526
>Still by your own general attitude in that post, what I want to tell you is how much you're going to miss her and hate yourself when you find out you could've saved her from herself
You know how women tell other women who are in shitty relationships that you can't try to save a man from himself?
The same applies in reverse. You have no duty to save other people from themselves, and most of the time it's completely impossible. Perhaps she will change someday. Perhaps even with the help of our German friend. But he could just as easily waste decades of his life waiting for that change to happen, and he has no obligation to risk the rest of his life hoping that it does.
>>
No. 15537 Kontra
>>15534
>thot
>I suggest some combination of moving, cutting off contact, spending a good amount of time with prostitutes, possibly vacationing in Thailand
Your advice is as poisoned as your mind and soul. To clarify, anyone who would actually give the genuine advice of going to prostitutes followed by "or go to Thailand" which is basically saying or go exploit some third world possibly child prostitutes, has been thoroughly and utterly ruined by shitheads who inhabit certain shitholes on the internet.

Besides which he clearly did not ever have her actual best interests in mind, in which case he is most likely the other toxic person in the equation. I also strongly suspect it's the one who wanted some retarded neonazi gf who was posting, in which case the general trashiness of the whole situation and complete lack of either respect or self respect nor seemingly of much empathy really doesn't surprise me.

>>15536
This is true, though note how I was almost directly saying I thought he was being enough of an ass that I'd want to torment him further for it, except that what I was doing would either disprove him as much of a jackass as I thought or he would simply be a sincere jackass in which case he'd be immune to it. Sorry I'm feeling particularly cranky right after the holidays. On the plus side after observing some very broken people in the family I have also noted a lot of my absolute worst tendencies and now see clearly where I get them from, which includes being thoughtlessly vindictive to strangers online. Well, except that too has only been amplified by my having been submerged among some of the worst shittiness and disease for years online.
>>
No. 15543
>>15537
I trust in Ernst more than to fuck exploited child prostitutes while in Thailand. The advantage of going there is to fuck adult consensual prostitutes in a distant and exotic environment of hedonism completely cut off from his real life. I know how weak and pathetic men can be made by their baser evolutionary impulses, and I think this degree of shock therapy might be necessary to break Ernst out of his dependence on this woman.

>Besides which he clearly did not ever have her actual best interests in mind, in which case he is most likely the other toxic person in the equation.
I don't blame people for weakness, especially weakness I can see in myself. As a loser male who has spent his entire young life completely cut off from intimate contact with women, if a women identical to the one he's fucking entered my life, I would be helpless. Perhaps German Ernst did not have this same pathetic romantic history before he met this woman, but I assume there is a good chance that he did, considering where he is posting.
When you are someone with a strong intellect and a desire to go somewhere with your life, what do you do when your baser impulses tie you to a stupid and toxic human being who is wasting their life? Of course, you become toxic yourself, and the contrast between what you want from the world and what you see in your everyday life breeds a certain kind of nihilism, which makes it even harder to break away from what your animalistic impulses are telling you to do.

And so, he needs a clean break from the source of his problems, and also probably a strong dose of sexual methadone until he breaks his addiction to her. If you do fuck prostitutes, Ernst, treat them well and stay away from those who are clearly being forced into doing something against their will. Also remember that a lot of Asian women will want to fuck you for free without much effort involved on your part.
>>
No. 15550
>>15526
I guess when I typed out the sentence you think I'm an asshole because of it I was playing a bit of a tough guy to distract myself from my own emotions.
I don't think I'm an asshole actually, maybe I'm a bit of one but compared to the people she'd usually surround herself with I'm a fucking saint.
Thing is only you kind of got yourself out of the moral dilemma by telling me how trashy I'd be.

>>15534
Thank you, seems like you pretty much got to the core of it and your words helped me to calm down a bit.
>If not, leave now, and never look back.
That's a hard question to be honest, because I don't know what it would be like without her at all. Chronologically my infatuation with her progressed in the same way as my self-confidence rose. Pretty obviously it's not me just being a selfless devotee trying to turn her life around. I was at my lowest point in life as I got to know her and it took knowing her to make me understand that I could even feel amourous passion and that I'd be even able to care for someone. I know it would be the right thing for me to cut off contact with her, I'd probably do much better than I was doing before knowing her and during our time. I have lost my temper yesterday because I was so infuriated by her tendency, rather addiction to self-abuse and self-hurt. She might be a case where there is no help, she even told it to me myself. She literally said to me that there is no hope for her but I don't want to believe it. It would go against anything I believe in, it goes against my deep notion of continuing the struggle even if it seems like there is no hope at all. Just for the sake of doing it. I don't want to think that she was doomed from the mere beginning of her life because what outlook would this give me on everything else? If one single human can't be saved from his miserable destiny, how can there be anything good in this world?

>As a loser male who has spent his entire young life completely cut off from intimate contact with women, if a women identical to the one he's fucking entered my life, I would be helpless. Perhaps German Ernst did not have this same pathetic romantic history before he met this woman, but I assume there is a good chance that he did, considering where he is posting.
It's exactly the case with me. I do have friends who were in a similiar situation as mine and what I saw was often that while they got heavily scarred from it, their romantic life just began afterwards, usually with girls who were sort of equal to them (we're everything else than equal, she is not only mentally at the bottom but also socially and intellectually)
A few months ago already I once told her that I'd get away from her (for the same reasons I'm posting about it here) and what happened was that she told me that if I'd go "she'd go as well". I tend to be a naive person and I want to believe that she was just being extremely dishonest and manipulative with saying that. But exactly the same shit would probably happen if I'd fuck off now. It would take me a massive strength to not be weakened and devoured by her simple but dramatic words. The last time I couldn't even resist a single time, the next moment she ensured me how much she supposedly would need me I was back on track for her.
I'll see what'll happen today. I feel like I haven't done everything yet I'm able to do. Even though I got into a barely controllabe fit of rage yesterday, I'm still not at the end. Over the years of kc-tireness I have storied and endured a lot of frustration so I won't give up too early.
>>
No. 15551
Oh fuck I have a job interview in another part of the city in a few hours, the anxiety is killing me fuck.
>>
No. 15556
1,3 MB, 1920 × 2560
>>15551
I believe in you. If they weren't interested in you, they would have just asked for a CV and left it at that.

Also, rate Singaporean geography education.
>>
No. 15557
>>15550
If you absolutely can't leave her, then do what you can to reduce the toxicity in her life coming from other people. That probably means moving far away, if you can manage it - but she would also need a new social circle of her own, formed of people who aren't shit, otherwise she'll just spend her days texting her cancerous friends.

I don't suppose there's a way for you to wean her off of you? If you could think of any way to do it, that would be the best. Knowing how I would react, as long as she is desperately pleading for you to stay, I don't think you'll be able to leave her.

>>15551
The best advice I can give for job interviews is to cultivate an attitude of not caring beforehand. Tell yourself that even if you don't get it, it'll be fine. You're just going there to explore a mildly interesting choice, something that you could just as easily decline and feel no different in life.

When I actually pull that attitude off, I find I do much better. It also removes most of the stress beforehand.
>>
No. 15561
>>15556
good map I rate 11/10
>>
No. 15568
82 kB, 415 × 604
Today's my bday and I'm going to do absolutely nothing and talk to no one. Not even family. From now on I'm not going to celebrate those ever again if I can help it.
>>
No. 15569
So, I went there. They said the first impression was good, and I think the feeling was mutual, we had a nice chat.

They said I'd have to go to a couple lectures first, explaining what they do and what to expect, and by the end it'll be apparent "if we can work together". I'm not sure what to think of that, but I decided it's best not to think at all, and just go and see.

If what they're saying is true, they're an almaty office of an international company called "asia trade" or something, a subsidiary of a chinese company that produces "natural health and cleaning products". Tiang, tien, or something. I've decided that it would be best for me to find companies that work with foreigners, because once they have someone on board who can communicate with their english speaking partners, it will be difficult to get rid of me :-DDDDDD

>>15556
Ebin.

>>15557
Yeah, I found out that being uncaring and dispassionate lets you get stuff done. It feels wrong to say "just be dispassionate and don't care about stuff, bro", but I've found out that being passionate is actually the source of a lot of my behavioral problems. It's very difficult to do art when you feel an immense sense of responsibility about it. When you're doing something mundane, you have no worries about disappointing yourself.

I dunno, maybe this is the sound of my innocence dying, or I'm growing up.
>>
No. 15573
>>15569
Good shit. Keep us in the loop with how it continues. Is it easy to commute to this place? Sounds like a pretty ideal situation. They're lowering the number of surprises with an induction and aren't too picky on experience. Good for commuting and you have a very solid find.
>>
No. 15574
>>15568
Silent bday!
>>
No. 15575
>>15573
Eh, it's a 45 minutes of commute on bus, which is not ideal, and I'd probably end up using a cab most of the time because being 10 minutes late just before the rush hour can fuck you over pretty badly in this city.

BUT. A 1 room studio apartment costs the same a month as 24 cab fares there and back, AND you don't lose an hour every day, so I'm considering using that as an excuse to move out and gain independence. Whatever job I get, I want to rent out a flat right next to it, because fuck commuting tbh, also I get carsick.

Also, I've noticed that good companies usually don't give a shit about experience or certification for entry level jobs. They just want someone who can get shit done. It's the shitty places who write pointless garbage as "requirements", like 5 years experience and two diplomas or whatever, because in reality they have no idea whom to hire, and which skill sets to look for, so they think that if they can get someone ridiculously overqualified, they'll cover all the bases. Unfortunately, they just get liars and bribers with fake diplomas instead :-DDDD.

Also, when the interviewer asked me about education, I said I'm on an academic leave, so she asked if I'm planning on continuing the education and if I'd be able to combine it with work, I said that I'd much rather put work over education and would be fine with not finishing it, since they can't teach me anything I don't know anyway. She commended me on that, saying that she likes that attitude, and that her children all have two diplomas each, but weren't taught any real world skills at all.

What a nice lady. For some reason, my life is full of nice old ladies. My shrink was like that too.
>>
No. 15576
>>15568
I usually do sames even though I would have enough people to celebrate it with. I just despise birthdays.
>>
No. 15578
I went to the bookstore today.
Asked where's the Mishima book. I was thoroughly disappointed after flipping it open.
In teeny-tiny letters, below the kanji and the romanji there was a small inscription: "Based on the English edition". WHY EVEN MAKE A NEW EDITION THEN?
So I walked around aimlessly, looking at books. There was one pretty Japanese novel, contemporary. Too bad that was based on the English version too. Then I noticed they had the I-ching in a two volume set for sale. It was expensive, and I'm 100% aware of the fact that I'll never read a 1000 pages long book on fortune telling and turtle-shell cracking.
New editions of Ayn Rand's works, Camus, Murakami, Dostoevsky, the first ever Hungarian edition of Infinite Jest, all there, and either too expensive, or I have no interest in it at that moment.
Dostoevsky? I already have an English copy of Crime and Punishment, not to mention getting a used copy is 6-7 times cheaper. Infinite Jest just isn't the type of novel I'd read in Hungarian, but it was nice to see the meme in person. Murakami's writings I abhor for some strange reason, and Ayn Rand is a meme to me too.
And so I finally came across a strange Japanese novella, translated from the Japanese, and I bought that. Never heard of the author, Hiraide Takashi, his English page on Wikipedia is pretty short and non-descriptive besides mentioning two novels. Now the German, from that I gathered that he is a poet, and that he was nominated for the Mishima-prize the year his book The Guest Cat was published, which is the one I came across by accident.
The fact that translations can be this mediocre is pretty despairing. We are putting out subpar editions of important works, while a finely made book of 20th Century Slovak Novellas looks at me smugly from the top shelf, screaming, "Look at me, they put effort into this one!".
I can conclude that I hate going to the bookstore, and I hate Hungarian publishing.
Now this is one lengthy write-up of my first-world Asperger-induced problems.

I'm almost done reading the Chinese novella I wanted to read. It's pretty good. I can't concentrate on reading for some strange reason, so it's a bit hard. I've already achieved a lot in terms of reading during my winter break. Though it'll be a little awkward to explain to my teacher that the reason I haven't read the monograph he recommended is because I was reading Chinese Japanese and Russian novellas and short stories.

Still haven't worked on that bloody essay. I'll have to finish it by the 2nd of January. I'll do it tomorrow. Hopefully. I don't want it to feel rushed.
>>
No. 15581
On Christmas day (er, night) I got away from the family by strolling along the beach and ended up finding a little cafe that was open. It made a nice memory but I always end up having the same conversation with coastal folk; they bring up the chronic lack of women and economic decline, I talk about how good the summer season must be, they reply it's all old people. I'd have asked what they're doing still living there then but it's quite clear anyone aged 18-40 in such a place has shit for brains.

Also I took a nap when I got home from work today. It begins.

>>15568
Happy Birthday. Although you're not celebrating you have my permission to engage in all sorts of guilty pleasures.

>>15524
>Do other countries have "national" "electronic" libraries, giving away free ebooks?

Not really, no. You can get ebooks through some convoluted system but in English there's not much demand owing to reasons.

>>15578
Well, I mean, for Mishima it might very well be that he personally oversaw the English translation which then appropriately translates Japanese feels into gaijin?
>>
No. 15582 Kontra
>>15578
>Still haven't worked on that bloody essay. I'll have to finish it by the 2nd of January. I'll do it tomorrow. Hopefully. I don't want it to feel rushed.

RIP
>>
No. 15583
>>15581
Well, my only problem is that the didn't use the original Japanese text as a basis for their translation, but the translated English. And such an edition already existed.
So basically, what's the point?
I might as well just get an actual English copy or a pdf and be done with it.
>>
No. 15584
>>15582
Depending on the length of the essay, it's still very manageable.

t. took a break from writing to watch videos where slender woman shuffle dance to 90s euro trash right now instead of keeping on writing the essay compilation as closure for the cultural theory module.

It's sad I watch this trashy things, but the bodies are indeed fascinating, gotta get back to my letter salad tho indeed
>>
No. 15585
>>15584
2-3 pages, but I actually have to say something meaningful, since since the beginning of the year, all my teachers somehow caught up with my methods and it has been exposed that I say very little with my essays, but at least they are wrapped up in a nice presentation.
>>
No. 15586
>>15585
What's your topic? Ask yourself questions and answer them in your essay would be a classic method.
You just need to circumvent bullshitting the answer by crapping them up with stuff that is not relevant.
>>
No. 15587
>>15586
I have to either argue against or for the advancement of history, using Imre Madách's play, The tragedy of man as a basis.
Getting a 5 (best possible mark) would also mean I get 3 extra point on my next test.
It'll not be hard at all. I just have to pay attention.
>>
No. 15589
>>15587
So you pick out the passages where statements are made for or against the advancement of history not sure how that is meant and perhaps give some own external arguments or own ideas that reinforce the arguments made in the play.

Just formulate questions at the play and its arguments and then make your own argument along those questions. This way you can check if you just talk bullshit or actually answer the questions. And be honest when it comes to filler sentences/ unnecessary repetitions and such.

And it's not unusual to incorporate question into your own text by asking questions and then answer them these days in academical papers e.g.
>>
No. 15608
8 kB, 333 × 151
Welp, they didn't lie about being a worldwide company, the part they didn't mention about is being a cult.
Why do people keep trying to indoctrinate me into a cult? And not even a cool cult like mormons, but some bullshit cult.
And why are there so many cults in almaty? I was approached by Jehovah's witnesses a couple years ago, just today somebody handed me a Krishna cult leaflet, now this. Is it a sign of a diseased society?

God damn it I knew I shouldn't have trusted a kindly old lady, they're there to disarm you. No wonder they only employ kindly old ladies as shrinks. I feel like a retard, but I have to admit they did a good job of concealing the fact that they're a cult, even the job description in their ads sounded realistic, up until they tried to indoctrinate me today.

I did some more research and they apparently opened up a shit ton of dummy companies and are now spamming ads with legit looking job descriptions. At least the JWs were up front about it, these fuckers were pretending to be offering me a job and wasting my time with fake interviews.

It was an interesting experience all in all. Just sitting in a conference hall while a kindly old lady is trying to brainwash you, it was ebin.

Oh well, time to go check up on the english translation agency, at least they seemed ok. There's a couple ads for a photoshop monkey in a typography, too.
>>
No. 15609
105 kB, 746 × 512
Called another ad looking for a fluent English speaker for a company called "study abroad"

A qt answered my call, and interviewed me in English. In the end, she said she loved my english and that she'd recommend me to her boss.

During that conversation, I already imagined marrying her, visiting European countries together, cooing sweet nothings in each others' ears in perfectly fluent English. My grandma telling me she's proud of me.
>>
No. 15612
>>15608
There is nothing cool about mormons. They even dropped the polygamy.
>>
No. 15613
>>15608
What's the name of the cult?
>>
No. 15614
>>15612
>They even dropped the polygamy.
What's the point, then?
>implying I could get one gf let alone multiple
>>
No. 15615
>>15614
That's the problem. It's a pyramide scheme. Only early adopters can get more then one. The rest has to take the bottom of the barrel or no wife at all.
>>
No. 15617
>>15615
Are Mormons the only cult that offers gfs?
>>
No. 15618
>>15617
When you make yourself into a cult, your chances to get a gf within cult become higher.
t. cult expert
>>
No. 15619
>>15618
I'd say if you are charismatic enough to found a cult, then getting a gf in a regular situation wouldn't be a problem.
>>
No. 15622
>>15619
If you are charismatic enough to found a cult, then getting a harem wouldn't be a problem.
>>
No. 15623
So I was participating in a party yesterday and once again met my old high-school crush. We had some really nice chats, she asked me about stuff like how uni is going and I was honest about having dropped out and working a shit job at the moment. She told me that she'd have the feeling that I'd become an author anyway and it felt good to have her just say that in such a weirdly confident way. She is a really interesting woman, quite unusual in her whole personality and beautiful in a serious way. Also she is, honest, has dignity and a melancholic temper. After giving up my romantic feelings for her as a teenager (just now I start to remember that back then we used to text each other on skype a lot but I was a massive autist) I sort of gave up on her without even having actually tried. So what followed at some point (I think it was this year, might have been as well the last one) was a liquor-fueled confession of mine, telling her that I was in love with her back then. Since then there is a certain tension between us and on meetings like that we keep talking. Usually it ends in me getting shitfaced too much and flirting a bit too intense. I've thought she'd feel repulsed by this behaviour of mine but now the first thing she told me was that she wants to visit me next year and it seems like she doesn't mind my constant half-assed attempts at picking her up as much as I thought she would. I don't know how to feel about all of this. It must be said at this point that all of this is happening in a quite established social circle knowing each other for very long and lately the whole atmosphere is openly erotic and everyone seems to be on the search for someone. Well, I don't know how to feel about this. Just having seen and talked to her yesterday I felt as enchanted as back in school.
The weird thing was that also one of her friends told me on multiple occasions that I should "just take her, she needs it". When she'll come over I should just treat her decently and take her serious. It's just that out of my former bitterness and longly cultivated misogyny I developed the tendency to treat her not as good as I should. This could turn out quite interesting I guess if I take my time for her.
>>
No. 15625
>>15623
Haha, normalfag. Better watch out, bro, something smells fishy here. Check if she is divorced and has any children. If she isn't, try to find out whether she has any mental disorders. Tread carefully, in this case winning the battle may mean losing the war.
>>
No. 15626
2,3 MB, 2400 × 1340
>>15623
Must be nice to have unrequited hs crushes crawling back to you later on. I swear I must have the shittyest holidays ever with nothing good happening. I don't even have something to micro blog about except bad stuff.
>>
No. 15629
>>15625
Don't worry, she's just a few months younger than me and like me she's never been in a relationship or something. We know each other since about 12 years, have been on group holidays together etc. (Back in highschool we even stood on the stage together once on a school concert, she dancing and me singing). We also have similiar interests and a similiar taste in music. She also has a quite aesthetic world-view so that's a thing connecting us as well. Still the awkwardness might be strong in going from distanced friends to something more. I guess I'll introduce her to my friends and go for a walk in a nice part of the city. I've got to mention that I never really did something like this before so I really don't know what will happen. Guess it's good that we already know each other quite well and long and that she's seen what I am like when I'm at my lowest and still is interested in me (especially this point is boosting my confidence). The mental disorder may be there but she isn't insane (actually thinking about it, some have she'd be), just sort of depressed because of a physical condition she has. I'm pretty sure her mental health is a bit better than mine though. Can you explain what you're saying in the last sentence? I know what suffering may come upon me but then again I do believe that she'd definitely be worth it. Also there is a certain history in my bloodline that makes me think that no matter what I'll do, I'll crave the same kind of woman anyways.

>>15626
Usually my days are quite bland as well, it's just that I'm at my hometown for a while so there is a lot of gatherings and festivities.
>>
No. 15630
>>15629
>Can you explain what you're saying in the last sentence?
Basically, even if you do get into a relationship, just like all the other people around you, it might turn out that it wasn't what you yourself really wanted. Moreover, it may fuck up your life pretty bad, and it might be hard to unfuck it all afterwards. But if you are absolutely sure that it's gonna be okay, then go for it.
>>
No. 15633
73 kB, 1503 × 1046
One of the sad things about growing up is that you can never keep up with old frens. It doesn't bother me so much that you only see them once a year (at most) because that's life and I can't spent it all living in the drug house of my uni days but I never simply get to any more. I want to be hardcore but my fiscal responsibilities won't let me.

I could probably do it all but I'm saving for a new laptop

>>15625
I second this caution as women are dangerous and it ain't shit until you put your penis in her. If you made it so obvious that you like her and it's been so long then why is something only happening now - more red flags than a May Day parade if you ask me.

Still, be a good boy and make a move towards kissing her or something ASAP. At least if she rejects you then you know right away she's a waste of time and it'll be that way forever. F-O-R-E-V-E-R
>>
No. 15634
>>15629
My experience with woman is rather small, so I don't know if you should do it or not, it's up to you anyway. I would do it, because of lust and it feels so well to wake up and go to bed with with someone you love.
Usually if you think you have some mental damages you will also feel sympathy for such people. Not every mental damage is of the same attractiveness ofc. But I know I always look our for woman, that are not boring in the sense that I can talk to her about autistic topics maybe not the output of the ottoman empire, but art or social weirdness and usually they themselves have experience with melancholy, loneliness and such or even worse.

If you have an art museum, take her their. I did so with my gf and later we walked around town ended up at her place chatting the night. We cuddled and at one point kissed. It sounds so simple and it is, when you feel really comfortable with that person, I rarely have that. Indeed just twice in the last 5 years or even more.
>>
No. 15639
90 kB, 300 × 350
Hello Ernst!
You probably will mind, but I post it anyway maybe turns out you don't. Endchan's admins are doing a Christmas Special Night right now, watching whatever on cytube. Everyone is welcomed.
Thanks for your attention.
>>
No. 15641
It feels like my lungs are not absorbing enough oxygen.
>>
No. 15643
Did basically nothing today, besides reading a Russian novella and taking some notes while reading it.
I also made some tea.
Pondered some on the essay, wrote nothing. I'll do it tomorrow. I should be the first one who sends it in so mine becomes the gold standard.
>>
No. 15648
>>15643
>I'll do it tomorrow

Again, RIP.

t.Does everything last minute even when I start early
>>
No. 15650
>>15633
>If you made it so obvious that you like her and it's been so long then why is something only happening now
I didn't make clear that I liked her, I just told her once that I she was my crush back then. Everything else I did was just fucking around drunkenly, flirting in a more playful and joking way, I've done that with other women I don't really care about too. So there hasn't been any kind of sign of serious interest I gave her so far, because I haven't been really interested in her until yesterday. I mean I've always liked talking to her when we met but I was barely ever thinking about her afterwards. Usually I even forgot that I was hitting on her the next day. It is only that she told me that she'd like to visit me what sparked my actual interest now and quite obviously brought back some of the old memories. Back then I have only seen her as some kind of an idealized goddess and by now I see her as a woman, maybe even as a girl, seeing how clumsy she acts and how easy to tease she is. I feel a bit guilty about having teased her so much yesterday, but if she didn't mind the last dozen times she probably won't mind that one too.

>>15630
I actually feel like it's the right thing to do. It would probably be good for both of us.

>>15634
Good thing is I can definitely talk with her about autistic topics. At some point this year we were discussing romanticist literature and she told me about her experience of reading Adalbert Stifter, which was pretty ebin as she exactly described his work the way I've imagined it to be. She is also quite into sociology, history, politics and such things while definitely not being a typical art-hoe. It's actually a mystery to me why I've never considered to get to know her better besides at the gatherings of our expanded circle of friends. Like, I can talk to her about stuff even my best friends have no real interest in. If I go with
it and actually invite her over (in fact I have already accepted her request yesterday) I plan on taking her to the botanical gardens to look at plants and talk but also I think about maybe giving her the task of lectoring my writings at some point, I have found that most women for some reason like the idea to do so and working on something together might be a bonding experience.
>>
No. 15663
257 kB, 1200 × 798
So I went to the corporate night thing and couldn't hold the depressed vibes in. I felt so fucked that I literally went home from the city center on foot. Just plugged my ears with ear phones, put the music on and walked home several kilometers through the night streets, looking at hobos and alcoholics while thinking about bad stuff. This just might be the lowest point of me lyfe.
>>
No. 15665
20 kB, 474 × 528
Almost drove myself to tears thinking about the heavy burden of humanity and the tragedy of our condition, and my inability to do anything about it.

I think I'm manic again.
>>
No. 15670
>>15648
Today will be different.
I have no short stories or anythin prepared for reading, I’ve slept for 10 hours and I’m basically a superhuman right now.
I’ll do it today!
>>
No. 15671
17 kB, 395 × 395
I'm very glad to be home. Unfortunately, my hand slipped while shaving this evening and I chunked my beard a bit, so one cheek has a somewhat noticeable bald spot.
>>
No. 15672
>>15650
>giving her the task of lectoring my writings at some point, I have found that most women for some reason like the idea to do so and working on something together might be a bonding experience.

I hope it's good writings. Sorry I don't wanna be mean but I just remembered how I told my gf her writings lack something. She was to outright about things, sometimes einfach abgedroschen
She was hurt, even more so because other people told her it's good. But I maybe she took it as a challenge. Meh. I don't want to hurt people but I cannot stand being hypocrite about some things.
>>
No. 15673
>>15672
You could phrase it more positive. Start with the things that you liked and then say: But wouldn't it be better if [bad thing wasn't there or different].
>>
No. 15676
>>15673
Well I tried to save it. Not necessary any more. Sigh
>>
No. 15691
>>15617
Almost all cults offer gf but very few actually deliver. It's actually a recruitment technique called "flirty fishing"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flirty_Fishing
Interestingly the one cult that actually had members go through with the sex part was some Christian themed cult. Almost none of the others ever do. Scientology is another good example.

Honestly if you even consider joining a cult because you think you'll get a gf that way you're a complete idiot and exactly what this tactic is targeting. Mormons aren't even supposed to have sex before marriage, and your odds of finding a mate are incredibly low. Worse, now you have a whole family of retards stuck in a cult at best bet, which is likely to ruin the family and end up with it being broken apart.
Actually I think this is closer to what I mean
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_bombing
It is just a recruitment tactic and a way to start brainwashing you into the cult. No fuggenings or sincere friendships actually ensue. It's a scam.

>>15619
This fucking lol https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/smallville-star-allison-mack-cites-172636370.html I mean, the dude was like a fat nerd who named himself after an Atari game.

Then I think the way it works is somehow a bunch of women get involved, and these cute women then start attracting men who think anyone but the cult leader is going to be doing the dicking.
>>
No. 15693
I can't figure out where it went with the Russian military calendar but here take this
https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?depth=1&hl=en&rurl=translate.google.com&sl=auto&sp=nmt4&tl=en&u=https:%2F%2Ffritzmorgen.livejournal.com%2F&xid=17259,15700002,15700023,15700124,15700186,15700190,15700201,15700237,15700242,15700248&usg=ALkJrhj6z--v8DR0CtFLo0UoB_VXvpGfOQ
It reminds me I should just go onto LJ and vkontakt instead, since I used to like LJ and I've spent the last decade fucking hating everything remotely Western "social media" tier. His LJ appears to be full of a great deal of Russia STRONG.
>>
No. 15701
245 kB, 382 × 417
Is it a bad idea to learn Mandarin Chinese if, although you are interested in the history and culture, part of your motivation comes from the secret hope that you will get an Chinese gf?
>>
No. 15703
Made a quarter-page long progress. Quite good.

Still can't fucking sleep well for some reason. I'm going to try some alcohol for it. Just a tiny bit.

Played a few matches of Battle for Wesnoth against the computer. Can't seem to beat it 1:1 with knights against necromancers.

Not much has happened otherwise.
>>
No. 15709
>>15556
Total Kek
>>
No. 15710
>>15569
I had job offers to live with Russian oliarchs and teach their kids English, think you have to be Native speaker though.
>>
No. 15711
>>15701
Chink girls go crazy over laowai who can speak even a bit of the language. It's also piss-easy to learn if you don't care about tone or characters (which you don't need to understand, be understood, or impress women), literally the easiest major language in the world.

I fucked up my chance with the Chinese woman of my dreams, but maybe you can do better. Just be aware that any that are not from a privileged background that could afford Western education and an unfiltered internet connection, are going to be cancer. Even if she is genius-tier IQ, if she's provincial her parents are probably going to make the relationship very difficult.
>>
No. 15712
>>15701
There are 50 mio less women in china than men. So they are in higher demand so a foreigner has no chance.
>>
No. 15713
>>15575

They don't give a shit because they are paying you 50% of the expected salary with the comfort that you cannot move to a better job.

Also once you get an apartment it is 9000 times easier to get casual sextings.
>>
No. 15714
>>15581
I like your posts but can you give a bit of context of where about you moved from and where you live now.
>>
No. 15715
>>15648
That's nothing. I turned in a college essay a year after it was due, after I went through my graduation ceremony.
Still got a passing grade on the course. You can go a long way with autistic professors if you demonstrate an enthusiasm for the subject of their autism.
>>
No. 15716 Kontra
>>15623
fucking paragraphs.
>>
No. 15717
>>15712
>There are 50 mio less women in china than men. So they are in higher demand so a foreigner has no chance.
This would be true if you were a poor Asian man. But a Westerner, especially one who speaks Chinese, goes straight to the front of the queue ahead of all those 50 million permanent no-GF chinamen.
>>
No. 15719
>>15701
It is a little like learning a third world language to impress someone who is rich and ambitious enough to learn English as a secound language and study abroad.
So fucking pointless why not learn Phillipino,
Learn th language after you get a gf/waifu.
Even then Chinese is not the best choice plenty of Asians.
>>
No. 15720
>>15717
I have gained 20kg.
Being a fat man is sexy in Asia, who knew.
Still American's have a terrible accent and fashion sense, but are still very friendly.
>>
No. 15721
>>15720
If that's true then why are most chinese actors slim. Fat actors are almost always joke characters.
>>
No. 15722
>>15719
But is it really a third world language anymore? I mean China is rich and influential these days, and exerts considerable soft power abroad. They have also been raising their profile a lot in areas like stem cell and reproductive biomedicine lately.

Of course, Filipinos are still the most powerful race in the world.
>>
No. 15723
>>15721
Goymmunism.
There are plenty of fat famous actors.

I am actually more desirable by being obese in HongKong, perhaps more primitive.

Most Chinese actors are expected to preform KongFu and are usually young, young does not mean sexy.
Who watches Chinese films anyway.
>>
No. 15724
>>15722
a simile has went past your head.
It is like a third world language.
Mandarin is very easy to learn, I don't know it because I would rather speak Cantonese like an imbecile because it is the higher caste language in Hong Kong and other places.

You want an Asian gf, enrol at any University ask the slant eyes who is not dressed like a slut.
>>
No. 15726
>>15724
Why does almost every Westernized Asian name their daughter Jennifer? Does that name sound like something in Mandarin or Cantonese?
>>
No. 15727
>>15726
This is not true, in China, Hong Kong or any Westernised placed.
MAYBE YOU ARE JUST WHITE TRASH.
>>
No. 15728
135 kB, 1357 × 912
>>15720
>Being a fat man is sexy in Asia, who knew.
Such is suffering on Asia.
I guess it doesn't work with Kazakh girls, because Kazakhstan is the fastest developing European country (t. Nazarbayev), we might want to hear expert's opinion on that.
>>
No. 15729
2,7 MB, 1200 × 1600
>>15701
Sounds more like a harmless fantasy attached to your growing sinobooism. If you enjoy learning a language then by all means do it but if it's actual work then you'd be better placed learning something toward enhancing your career. Women are all over the place, I reckon they grow on trees.

Or fuck it all, summon your inner businessman and learn Korean with the expectation that should the regime crack the gf-market will explode.

>>15714
I actually moved to London (for work) recently but over Christmas visited my parents who themselves just retired near Skeggy. We're from the Midlands so it's the full circle of English life on display going from career building to commuting to dying by the sea.

>>15724
>You want an Asian gf, enrol at any University ask the slant eyes who is not dressed like a slut.

I don't know about this. From my observations the Chinese hang in their own crew abroad and their reclusive nature combined with every bydlo trying to get his leg-over makes them difficult to approach. Right now I'm living not too far from Chinatown but I think I've exchanged maybe 20 words at most with Asians. They're like heroin addicts in that they seem to live in their own parallel society.

tl;dr it's probably easier when you're the weird alien instead of them.
>>
No. 15730
>>15729
>>15729
Skegness, I grew up in Stockton-on-Tees so know the seaside towns.

Chinese girls are awesome, most are not sluts and very approachable, take the rice pill
>>
No. 15731
47 kB, 349 × 344
I went to bed one and a half hours ago and I can’t fall asleep.
Fuck this gay earth.
>>
No. 15734
>>15730
>I grew up in Stockton-on-Tees so know the seaside towns

Are they all so dark and depressing?

>Chinese girls are awesome, most are not sluts and very approachable, take the rice pill

I'll have to experiment on this. How do Chinese mating rituals work, I assume they don't just go to some sticky-carpet nightclub and later get fingered behind the burger van like our English roses, do I find a casino or something? Can they be engaged in normal conversation when in a shopping queue like you would a northerner or are they reserved and judgemental like southerners?
>>
No. 15736
>>15727
Actually I was more talking about America. I think just about every single one of them was a Jen or Jennifer. Why so hostile? What nerve did I pinch? Also I think you mainly see Asians here who are educated, not whatever retarded peasant bydlo inhabit your area.

>>15728
For instance I don't know why but almost every picture of Chinese and NorK girls I see are profoundly unattractive. I say don't know why, because South Koreans can often look pretty attractive. I can only guess this is because SK are more educated and basically not so prone towards being retarded trashy peasants. I dont know how to explain it but in that pic for instance they all look like these chubby yoba masks instead of real people with something inside.
>>
No. 15747
Today i start to make the traditional german sausage punch for NYE. I decided to go with meat sausage and salami this year and try a 70% beer/30% sausage water mix.
>>
No. 15748
>>15729
>From my observations the Chinese hang in their own crew abroad and their reclusive nature combined with every bydlo trying to get his leg-over makes them difficult to approach.
American universities can be up to 40% Asian, half of that Chinese and the other half mostly Korean. The sheer numbers mean that you will have plenty of normal interactions with Asian people, even if they mostly befriend each other.

>>15747
That's not an actual thing, is it? I can't tell if you're fucking with us.
>>
No. 15751
>>15748
I cannot see anything about traditional German sausage punch/German sausage in beer etc. and on the one hand, it sounds too disgusting for even German cuisine, but on the other, that's the most German sounding thing I ever heard of.

I honestly can't tell if he's joking or not. It sounds just conceptually similar enough to aspic.
>>
No. 15755
>>15734
>are they all so dark and depressing?
Maybe it is childhood memories, but battered fish, cold wind on your face, tides of the sea, an ice cream, dog poo lol, they are all memories.
I enjoy it at winter and I enjoy the 2 penny arcades.
Maybe it is a northern thing.
>>
No. 15759
>>15755
Never heard of it. Sounds disgusting indeed, just like Aspik.

>>15755
I have this travel fantasy of driving along the whole east coast of GB from small coastal town to coastal town and breath the depressing and run down atmosphere. It gives me feels of coziness.
>>
No. 15762
417 kB, 1600 × 1200
>>15748
Of course it's a thing and i recommend you try it because it's delicious. Want a good recipe?

Pic related, some ad for pre-made Wurstbowle from the 80s
>>
No. 15765
223 kB, 650 × 650
Yesterday I hung out with friends at my best friend's house. It was fun and all, but the highlight of my evening yesterday was receiving a perfume that I bought back on black friday from UAE.

This bottle made me smile for a couple of reasons, the scent is heavenly and clean, and I identified five notes (+1 incorrect) out of eight notes. My nose is still working after all those non sniffing months and me trying my best to avoid perfumes because I do not have enough money for them. This year has been kind of hard financially on me and my hobbies...

I bought this thing at a massive bargain, 200ml for $89 instead of $195...I bought it when I was in a better financial shape that right now, and I do not regret this buy whatsoever!

I know this financial decision is not really a sound one, but my hobbies keep my sanity and my humanity alive - rather than being a robot that produces nothing but work - and perfumery is one of my most beloved obsessions...
>>
No. 15766
>>15762
This must be a parody or something. I never heard of this. Disgusting.
>>
No. 15767
>>15766
>>15751
It's an ad from the german satire magazine TITANIC.
But the mere fact that I had to check it shows that they did a good job.

t. Just had sausage today
>>
No. 15769
I just met Tom Scott of youtube fame who lives in my building. That may not sound like much but coming from a place where no celebrities live to seemingly bumping into people all the time has been quite surreal for me.

Everyone looks the same as their video form by the way. Also, they all seem quite surprised to be recognised and ask that I don't tell anyone where they live so maybe I should stop saying hello to people I don't actually know.
>>
No. 15770
>>15769
Youtube success seems to correlate a lot with real life success.

A lot of the big youtube channels are run by successful upper middle class wectern people who do youtube as a side thing from their good careers. They probably even put more money into their channels than they get out of them (judging by the high production quality).
>>
No. 15771
>>15769
"literally who" tyre for me.
>>
No. 15773
>>15769
Does he looks so old in real life? When I fist saw him I thought he was end 30 but he is early 30.
>>
No. 15774
>>15770
Media here will tell you that people make a living from it and I doubt that they come from an upper middle class family most of the times. I never invested much time in founding out if that is true but there do exist people for whom youtube is there only career. It's not just a side thing for some persons.
>>
No. 15775
>>15773
I've always found it pretty difficult to gauge the age of people working in tech-related areas because mannerisms and skin seem to freeze in time but yeah, I can see how his hair doesn't help.

I always pictured he'd have a wife or at least live with someone. Surely with millions of subscribers you'd be able to get an asperger gf.
>>
No. 15782
>>15765
There are only three things I think a man shouldn't cut corners on paying for: shoes, suit, and cologne. Maybe also scotch if you're into that. You can cheap out on everything else but those you pay for the good stuff.
>>
No. 15784
>>15782
>shoes, suit, and cologne.
yes, yes and yes.

If only I had money, I'd have tailored most of my clothes, but I always go for comfort because I am a fat fuck loel

Shoes, while classy shoes are great and everything, I wish there were more good looking shoes that are actually comfortable, something that has Boss or Armani looks but also has Skechers comfort, that would be perfect. But for now, I am opting for Skechers - and not those ugly sport shoes, they have some okay looking work shoes.

>cologne
Now, I can post walls after walls of text on that subject, but what I can say is that follow your nose -- dont just go to Sephora or whatever and ask WUTS DE MOSTE EXPENSIVE BAHDDEL DET U HAEV or WEETSH PERFYOOM DAT GETS DA MOSTE LAYDEEZ UHUH and think you are the shit because of that...also FRO THE LOVE OF WHATEVER YOUR WORSHIP OR DONT, DO NOT DRENCH YOURSELF WITH INTENSE FRAGRANCES.
>>
No. 15785
27 kB, 305 × 499
I'm almost done with the fucking essay. Wrote the other half of the page.
I think I'm memeing myself as I'm writing it, but it turned out quite well so far.
I don't know if I've mentioned but I switched topics after I noticed that it's not mandatory to write about the history thing. So now I'm writing about how "understanding what you read" is important. A lot easier. I'll write the remaining half page tomorrow, and then I'll edit it a bit. Hopefully I get the best possible mark. The midterms are coming up, and I want to get the best grade possible.

Listened to all the symphonies (three of them) of Khachaturian. They are okay. I especially like the third's dissonant sounds and repetition.

Played a lot of battle for wesnoth today. It's a bitch, and on random maps, your victory depends on luck instead of tactics.

I'll watch some anime and go to bed now. That seems reasonable.

I want to read tomorrow. So I already prepared the tiny hardcover edition of "Deutsche Heldensagen" on my desk. I'll probably read their interpretation of Weland the Smith.

My life is getting boring again I think.
>>
No. 15788
>>15782
You're forgetting toilet paper. I really don't know how people who skimp on that can live with themselves, how can you possibly have a nice shit when you're fingers go through the paper. What kind of life do you have and what obligation can you owe society in those circumstances?
>>
No. 15790
>>15785
>Played a lot of battle for wesnoth today. It's a bitch, and on random maps, your victory depends on luck instead of tactics.

Very relatable. This sucked all the fun out of it since I got anxious of losing leveled up units through unlucky rolls and started abusing the quickload function. Especially in campaigns you never want to lose some leveled up unit since it would make future levels much harder when you can't summon them.
It's a shame because I liked the art and idea behind the game otherwise
>>
No. 15795
>>15784
I suspect a lot of people who pour the stuff on are smokers, because a) you can't smell or taste shit when you smoke cigarettes and b) it is probably people more likely to think of taking a French shower to begin with who smoke.

>>15788
I tried to figure this one out and realized you must wipe with a whole square and only a few plies. If you use a bunch instead then problems weren't.
>>
No. 15801
>>15790
Well, it's like X-com, rolls make or break your game. My biggest problem is that with unlike X-com, positioning hardly matters as far as I can tell. Unless you are doing some stupid shit (attacking from a river into the mountains or a fort for example), that +-10% just isn't a big bonus overall.
Numbers matter far more than how your units are positioned.
And what type of attacks they have is also important.
Wraiths for example are a bitch to kill as almost any faction, plainly because they regain health by attacking and they are partially immune to almost all damage types, and if your faction doesn't have that one type, then go fuck yourself, one little ghost is going to tie down 5-6 of your units in a fight for half of the game. And that's if they only have one.
I could win with dwarfs, but I have no idea how to win with humans 1v1 against undead units. I either get a large but ineffective force that'll get massacred because they aren't immune to the damage the enemy deals, but the enemy is immune to the damage they deal, or a small but good force that'll get massacred simply because they have more troops.

Random maps are a crapshoot too. Sometimes it has random bits of snow on your side of the map, crippling your supply lines and expansion, while the AI can effortlessly roll through the map and capture 50%-60% of the villages. And sometimes the villages are unevenly put on the map too. Sometimes the enemy has 5-6 near his castle while you have two far away.

It's still a fun game, but I must ragequit sometimes.
>>
No. 15803
>>15795
might I add:
c) There are some people who think that their scent should emanate into a three-block radius or else his status would be damaged (see: gulf arabs who drench themselves in oud extract)

d) Bydlo that want to attract "da laydeez"
>>
No. 15810
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL AUSTRALIANS ON THIS BOARD!
>>
No. 15812
5,3 MB, 2893 × 4092
>>15810
And a happy new year to you as well when it arrives in your part of the world.
>>
No. 15814
>>15812
thank you! that would be in exactly five hours and fifty three minutes.
>>
No. 15817
I will spend this evening alone, happy new years ernsts
>>
No. 15818
52 kB, 448 × 800
>>15817
Same and you, too.
>>
No. 15819
>>15817
>>15818
Let me (ironically) join you on this eve of solitude.
>>
No. 15823
8 kB, 250 × 250
>>15817
Happy new year, American-Ernst and to all who visit this website. I hope you all get to experience a year rich in enlightening and detailed discussions interspersed with a few good laughs too.
>>
No. 15826
>>15817
>>15818
Sames. I was at a friends and after diner went home so that I can now (75 minutes before midnight) go to bed and sleep through the noise. I managed to sleep through it last year, I hope it works this year as well. I'm looking for my early morning walk tomorrow, it always has a certain postapocalyptic feeling to walk in the garbage filled streets on the first of january at ~6 o'clock with no people around.

Good night, Ernsts <3
>>
No. 15827
Managed to finish my essay finally. I'll reread it tomorrow, and then send it in. It turned out pretty well I'd say.

Did nothing of not otherwise. I wasted so much time it's unbelievable.

Have a happy new year.
>>
No. 15829
Any New Year's resolution?

Mine is losing 10 pounds (5kg) and becomming more communicative.
>>
No. 15830
>>15829
Improving my social life, to quit smoking and drinking.
>>
No. 15831
>>15829
Well, nothing, really.
They are more like goals than resolutions.
>Finish studying the Hanzi books
>Do well at the end of the year exams
>Get gf
>Read more books
>>
No. 15832
>>15829
-Start jogging regularly, lifting weights and eating less garbage to reduce BMI (currently ~26 and flabby)
-Learn Mandarin Chinese
>>
No. 15833
>>15829
I don't do those. Mainly because I already know it's just going to set me up for failure, disappointment, and various broken dreams.

>>15830
Instead I already quit both those this year. I do actually miss smoking all the time though, sorta.
>>
No. 15834
>>15829
Play more videogames
Read more books
More 3d model and draw
More other important stuff.
>>
No. 15835
I have two pet rodents and both are dying right now. The one is old and doesn't surprise me, but the other should've been fine for another year at least and rapidly declined. I am also suddenly having weird trouble walking and it feels like there's not enough oxygen getting to my blood. I am vaguely starting to wonder if these things are all related. Testing ~150mg levamisole because why not. Could this be zoonotic? Who knows. Shouldn't be babesia because afaik that is only bloodborne transmission.
>>
No. 15836
>>15835
>Testing ~150mg levamisole because why not.

Is this an american thing. Eating medicine like M&Ms and hope it helps?
>>
No. 15840 Kontra
>>15835
My heart feels kind of weak and fluttery and I just vomited like 20 minutes ago. I kinda felt this way on Christmas too come to think of it but my legs still worked. I keep telling myself I must have just invented it as stress response but how I am not so sure. The symptoms I've kept having actually sound more like Bartonella than anything. Or a stroke or progressive brain disease of some sort.

>>15836
USA
Yes

I mean at least I'm not foraging for random herbs and mushrooms. Bonus points that isnt even for treating humans at all I actually got it from Amazon to treat tropical fish parasites.
>>
No. 15841
>>15829
No, I don't believe in them. If I aim to improve somehow I will do it right then not wait until a new year.
>>
No. 15844
>>15841
While this is probably the best way to look at it, the new year is a good psychological anchor which can produce a bit more incentive especially for people who aren't as inclined to improve themselves by sheer will power alone so I would argue that even though the vast majority of resolutions will fail, it isn't a bad thing to have for the vast majority of people because it is inevitable that some will indeed stick with it
>>
No. 15848 Kontra
I have now vomited repeatedly and it is hard to keep even fluids down.

Problem not fixed and condition possibly deteriorating.
>>
No. 15850
>>15848
Call 911 dude
>>
No. 15852
Long story short: we were celebrating NYE at a friend's house. Hid parents had guests from the USA. At some point I kinda started to take control of the music so I put on "these boots are made for walking". Holy shit, yoj can't imagine how much the american housewife loved it. I almost orgasmed internally seeing her dance to that song. So much innet youth exploding at a single moment, I was done.
>>
No. 15854
>>15829
Not kysing or becoming a night taxi driver. I need to keep my shit together.
>>
No. 15855 Kontra
>>15850
I'm more worried about my pets honestly. I'm bracing for that misery of having to put them in the freezer after losing them. Idk wtf happened

Also I stopped puking. And why would I call 911? I dont have $600 and I'm not dealing with more debt and collection agency cocksuckers.
>>
No. 15857
955 kB, 1174 × 819
that feel when no qt yakut gf in 2019

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp_OBFqt2DE
>>
No. 15860
23 kB, 474 × 355
Well her eyes are now fixed and dilated. Still surprisingly warm, but she's definitely gone. I think the worst part is hearing their constant wheezing and suffering for hours and hours and hours over a couple days.

>>15854
At least you can still dream about leaving Latvia, and imagining that all your problems can be fixed by simply changing countries. I have often thought the same, maybe Santa Monica or Ireland. But I already know the truth is awful. You do not stop living because of this. You simply squat on the ground in the cold like I do and smoke bitterly.
>>
No. 15861
>>15054
now is your time.