/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

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No. 16938 Systemkontra
48 kB, 768 × 616
Good Morning Euros, it's a new (to)day.
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No. 16940
287 kB, 640 × 480
It's important to have a job you like.
It makes easier to come back into workflow after holidays.
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No. 16941
15 kB, 360 × 450
>>16940
I don't have a job
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No. 16944
242 kB, 650 × 670
I wrote the three exams I had to. All of them were pretty easy, especially the history one.
Though I think my Grammar Exam will be really weak. My essay was just badly structured, but less formal and a bit more personal. I'll see how it goes.
I made four slices of pizza in the morning and I ate 3 of those during the break. Also bought two cans of energy drinks. Didn't drink them.

On the way home I finally picked up the book I ordered. I read the foreword of the translator on the way home, and it was a really heartwarming story about how he first encountered Pushkin's Rusland and Ludmila. Apparently a friendly liberator pro read some of the story out loud in Russian to him during the war. it's_bullshit_but_I'll_believe_it.jpg

Pretty nice day overall.

>>16940
>mfw astrologers proclaim the week of the nothing
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No. 16948
27 kB, 640 × 480
So I've been using Kava lately and it now gets me, I don't want to say high but something like that after using it for several days straight. It appears you really need to build it up in your system before it doing anything. It has also strangely given me the epiphany that sub free life is just not worth living, at least not in this society. It's the worst of both worlds where you neither have the cozy community of a village nor have the sort of freedom of the open road and wild West, because you're going to get shot or arrested. Maybe if either of the two existed here, but without a sense of freedom nor community I really don't see the point to being sober for life.

It is a hard feeling to explain but kava almost reminds me of like Vicodin more than a Valium. There's more a sense of energy to the relaxation. The only problem is dealing with taste which is one of the foulest things I ever ingested. Kratom tea tastes good in comparison. It also seems easy to cause upset stomach and is apparently strong enough you have to pay attention to the dose.

Otherwise my experiment in the all natural is a mixed bag so far. I hate smoking pot and I don't want to be on pills, but life without smoking and drinking is pretty shit imo and too hard to deal with. I can't deal with benzos because it'll make me a horrible addict and I'd just rather not deal with pharmaceuticals. On one hand it seems to work so far but definitely makes my stomach delicate, and part of that is probably because of how revolting it is, like old hamster shavings and rotting mulch. The prickly anaesthetic mouth feel does not help.

Honestly if there was one drug in the world I could do it'd be Vicodin and just not drink or anything, but obviously tolerance and addiction means that's not happening, and I refuse to go on SSRIs either. I think with more testing they'd probably try and put me on Zoloft, Ativan, and Ritalin but I don't want any of that crap, and I can't drink. So I'll keep testing Kava.
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No. 16952
Either the sickness coincided with my depressive cycle, or having the flu really fucks with my brain.
I feel like I just woke up from a week long fever dream. It's a relief to get better, flu feels a lot like a depressive episode, except you also have headaches, nausea, and your whole body hurts for no reason. Thinking about it, yeah, the flu is exactly like a depressive episode.
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No. 16955
83 kB, 400 × 400
I forget to add the shiny red title to this thread, can the mods edit this?

Long day, been awake early compared to the usual case. Add a beer with a lecturer and a friend whom I read theory with. We also talked about my bachelor thesis, he would be the second corrector. So I have at least one person, who would be open to my topic. Not carved in stone yet but I like what he thinks is a possible way to explore and tackle this issue about 70s Germany that I had in mind. Still more than 6 months to go before I can really work on it. Maybe I should read a bit here and there and already work with a Citavi Project.
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No. 16956
92 kB, 1000 × 1434
I have to sort job applications and ho-ly-shit is this lame. It's not even just that I have mountains to get though but few applicants have follow very specific instructions.

Ernsts looking for a job: Reading application forms carefully might not guarantee you the job but at least you'll have a shot. There's some really interesting people I've got, overqualified ones if anything, but they're not playing the game at all. I'm scoring on criteria so make your lies fit into that. I'm going to be having a meltdown tonight with how many people are wasting my time.

>>16948
Rather than slowly killing yourself why not actually take steps to improve your life?
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No. 16958
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This morning I decided to take a caffeine & theanine pill that helped me to crunch through some work pretty well in the past but it backfired today. Ended up being too agitated and unable to concentrate, probably the other times I was more sleep deprived or had a bit more of a tolerance going on.
Not good, as I didn't manage to write the passages I was planning to. I went on a walk, did some cooking and a small workout and feel calm now but also tired, so I'm doing at least a bit of formatting/layout wörk before calling it a day.
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No. 16959
>>16958
>so I'm doing at least a bit of formatting/layout wörk before calling it a day.

progress is progress
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No. 16963
>>16956
>I'd rather not drink or use pills
What part of that is slowly killing yourself?
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No. 16970
>>16958
Shit happens, man. Probably better you took a day rather than force it.

t.haven't even looked at my application sifting since I got in and bitched about it and will probably just wing it tomorrow

>>16963
The whole doing a drug on the reg because your life is shit. You' know full well that ain't rational.
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No. 16972 Kontra
>>16970
Should clarify: I have a few days to do sifting but I wanted to get it done today as I have a meeting to go over them with someone else tomorrow. I'm not a total bastard.
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No. 16973
143 kB, 341 × 475
>The shiny red title to this thread
Top e/b/in, mods, top e/b/in
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No. 16976
153 kB, 472 × 408
>>16973
ebin indeed
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No. 16977
>>16959
For sure. This is probably the most important "rule for life" I started taking heed of consciously not so long ago. Feels much better to get at least something done rather than forcing oneself to do either all or nothing.

>>16970
Ya, it's not too bad. I still have a week left until my deadline but I'll have to hasten up if I want someone to proofread it until then.
Good luck with your task as well!
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No. 16979
587 kB, 2448 × 2448
Of the books I need for school, I was only able to get my molecular genetics textbook today because the uni book store doesn't carry the immunology book for some reason. Thank dog the semester is starting: I was beginning to lose my mind.

Over the weekend I found this National Geographic Society travel book about early 80s China at a library sale. It's pretty ebin. Lots of nice photos and charming anecdotes about bath houses and New Year celebrations. Also, it came with a wall poster ethnographic map of the national minorities of China, which is in perfect condition, suprisingly. The whole book is in great shape actually.
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No. 16981
Already a new today thread? Shit's getting fast lately.
Got quite wasted on a friend's birthday, then afterwards had a lengthy and almost emotional discussion about politics with my flatmate.
My concubine (how do you call a girl that's not your gf yet officially but pretty much is your gf?) had to do homework for english classes meanwhile and I had to bring her to wake up her mother so she could print everything out. She did quite well but I didn't notice a single mistake, I hope she can print a new version before school tomorrow.
Also I was pretty fucked after two nightshifts, my necked had an almost burning pain.
I took a baldrian pill now because I just got up 11 hours ago and need to sleep again. Hope it'll work and I'll drink some water so that I'll have no hangover. Also it's fucking cold in here, I'm only awaiting summer. But then again, in summer the mosquitoes come back. Either your cold or you got mosquiteos harrassing you, fuck this rotten piece of shit world.
Also still need to write more applications, I'll continue tomorrow.
I cancelled almost all workdays besides wednesday. Lady from the contract worker company was pretty angry at me for cancelling but I don't give a shit anyways.
Good night Ernsts, love all of you guys ♡
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No. 16988
154 kB, 880 × 569
https://www.tea.co.uk/russian-tea-ceremonies
>Water is heated in the samovar and a strong dark tea is made using lots of tea leaves in the teapot on top. The strong tea is called zavarka. The tea is so strong that it has to be diluted with water from the samovar before you can drink it.
>Some samovars are small and only hold about three litres of water but some can hold up to 30 litres. Samovars are usually made from metal. You can see them in homes, in offices and in restaurants.
I always knew there was something wrong in my life. Now I see what's wrong: I don't have a samovar.
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No. 16989
>>16988
Russian tea for the Russian soul
It can’t be that hard to get one on the Russia. There must be some cheap models for sale.
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No. 16995
>>16981
Mein dame/frauleinfreunding?
Here we would just say lady friend. Or in coarse decadent materialist USA 2010s, "fuck buddy"

>>16988
Why dilute it?
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No. 17012
>>16995
It's too strong to drink it raw.
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No. 17035
>>16995
>>16981

I think one could she is his/an Affäre.

Perhaps fuck buddy exist as English word in German. Fickfreundschaft sounds so rough. I would probably call her a friend/eine Freundin. She is not your gf but a friend whom you sleep with
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No. 17042
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Another day of looking for ideas to build up a web/whatever development portfolio. [/spoiler]If you have ideas for something cool even if not necessarily profitable, hit me up.
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No. 17063
>>17042
That image is from Milo Manaras comic about Caravaggio, isn't it? What's the relation to your post? Got distracted by porn instead of working on your project?
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No. 17064
>>17063
Got distracted by vice instead of working on my life. Small difference.
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No. 17071
Today I had my Mathematics exam.
It went rather well.

Tomorrow I'll have the last two written exams, Biology and Physics. Basically the final bosses.

I left all my books at home, so I had nothing to read on my way home.
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No. 17084
>>17071
Good job and good luck!
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No. 17108
3,4 MB, 1973 × 1110
I want to jerk off but my brother is home.
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No. 17110
77 kB, 444 × 460
I will go to the library and check on 12 books or so, and maybe take 11 of them home. That means taking at least two bags with me. I already hate that I don't have a proper thesis or question when I will start writing on Louis XIV and him representing the state via showcasing domination of nature. It technically is a proper thesis but not sure if this gonna work. Need to ask the lecturer, skipped her classes for the second time today since I'm more concerned with my shitty mood and finding the right material and ideas to write papers than reading the voluminous texts she demands every week. Spring break will be in a week and it's when I want to start reading and taking notes. The other paper will be fine I think. Not having proper question or thesis either, but I'm more optimistic about finding one while reading the material I've gathered so far. I started by reading the 50 first pages of a book and it seems to be a good theoretical ground to built upon, a first pillar.
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No. 17215
Today was good. I got my shit together, did a checklist of what I need to do and managed to (almost) wrap up the Results chapter. Will try to finish it after my break now.
Too bad the board is getting invaded, but maybe if I ignore it, it will go away.

>>16979
Looks interesting, very different from China now I imagine. Would love to see some photos if you have some highlights
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No. 17240
>>17108
Great post
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No. 17251
635 kB, 2000 × 1627
>>17110
I came back with 15 books, I found others next to the ones I was looking up before going, including one, that offers the same thesis as mine but for German absolutism/enlightenment phase.

We can only be glad about kohl being up again. Why do Bernds think we think we are smart because we don't tolerate their bullshit and why do they come here when they don't like EC? The only possible answer is: to turn it into their board.

pushing kohl waste away bump

additional info: Döner for dinner.
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No. 17256
I wasted so much fucking time it's unbelievable.
I'll barely sleep anything.
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No. 17261
157 kB, 409 × 409
I slept for ~20-22 of the past 48 hours. Feels refreshing man.
t. sleep deprivation experimenter
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No. 17262
I felt like literal shit for two whole weeks, and now I'm finally starting to feel sad and miserable.

Which means the rebound into mania is coming soon. Thank good. It's kinda fucked up when you're looking forward to feeling sad because it's better than feeling dead.
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No. 17267
>>17262
That is pretty fucked up, but hey, find pleasure where you can because the world sure ain't gonna hand it to you.
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No. 17271
>>17240
Thanks.

Additional info:

I decided not to study French at 10am as scheduled and then ditched out on anime at 11am. Had to meet with my social worker. Shes a female and I dont like her very much.
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No. 17279
I got DOMS from 10 push ups, I am fat and unfit as fuck.
I did go for a jog at 5am, see if I can keep this up.
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No. 17280
>>17279
How far along are you in your pushup training? I'd start with even just a set of 5 in the morning and a set of 5 at night. It seems like jack shit, but focus on doing them properly, no bend at the hips, hands directly below shoulders etc. (it will be more difficult than doing them poorly) and get to the point where you can get those sets of 5 done to that standard without breaking a sweat. Then move the number up. When you get to sets of 20 or more, I'd start doing 30 second pushups (move slowly to bottom position over 15 seconds and do the same thing coming back up) and eventually 1 minute and even 2 minute at some distant point. The key is to build good form first and foremost, and only once form is mastered do you go for endurance. Take it steady and make gradual progress so that your body is keeping up with you and before you know it (nod really, it takes a decent amount of time and since you're constantly upping your numbers you notice every single rep :-DD) you'll be hammering out sets of 50 or more.

t. used to teach martial arts when mental state was more functional
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No. 17287
28 kB, 418 × 600
I'm finally done with all the written exams. I most probably cocked up the biology one, because I had some materials missing. (Though I didn't see that material on the photos I took of a classmate's notebook either so it's fucked.)
Physics was piss easy. Especially how I was allowed to use pic related, which has the most important formulas and facts in it. But it was pretty useless because I knew both the formulas and the laws that were used during the exam.

Tomorrow I'll have an oral exam from History, then one from Literature on Friday and then this week is finally over.

So today I'll be studying history. (Primarily the American War of Independence and the US constitution)

I might also try finishing reading Kudrun. It's shameful that I've been reading it for almost 20 days now, and it's only 260 pages.
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No. 17288
>>17287
>War of Independence
Talk up Washington's ability to listen to his staff officers more than his personal command skills. The fact that he surrounded himself with people who were often more competent than he, Nathanael Greene, and that he was willing to listen to them was instrumental in his success.

If you want to really wow them, go even deeper on the truth bombs and let them know that Benedict Arnold was the actual man who won Saratoga and Gates robbed him of his due credit from Congress. Therefore, the great traitor is also the reason that Benjamin Franklin was able to swing France into sending aid, and thus is also the savior of the American cause. Interesting but quite tragic man. I'm in the camp that thinks his betrayal was motivated by the fact that the British offered him a reward for his service after being shafted by the Continental Army for the whole war.
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No. 17290
>>17288
Thanks for the help, but you are overestimating the requirements severely. Judging by the materials I were given, it's more about the evolution of the constitution and the bill of rights.
They'll be lenient because this is just a farce mostly. A giant waste of time demanded by the officials at the ministries so far above us, they might as well be a different race.
It's infuriating because I attended all the classes, wrote all the tests, held presentations and took up extra work, and yet I was forced to take the midterm exams because I'm officially "homeschooled", as in, I'm affiliated with a school but I'm relieved from mandatory classroom attendance.
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No. 17291
>>17287
Reading your account of high school coursework makes me realize how severe the lack of rigor in American high schools really is :-DDDD
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No. 17293
>>17280
I just did ten straight off the bat yesterday, did another ten today, very surprised with the doms.
See if I can do 30 before work, will try 3 sets and just go to failure if I can't do ten.
I have a chest expander, so maybe google a routine I can do with that.
Literally starting from zero.

Maybe do a mini circuit on the weekend and try and stay off the booze.

I think the form is okay, apart from my head faces the floor instead of looking ahead.
Otherwise feet together and straight back, stopping breifly at the bottom and not touching the floor, current fitness is shit.
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No. 17294 Kontra
>>17291
Well, from what I've seen of the American public education, I can say that it looks like a disaster.
The lack of discipline is appalling, and besides that, it seems like that they also neglect actually studying. It's like a play-pretend daycare, if you allow me to say that.
I'm inclined to say that one part of it is the really awful minority integration, then the lack of funds, lazy teachers who can't be fired, further syphoning away funds and the general lack of enthusiasm from students because of all the above. Knowledge just doesn't seem to be valued all that much in America, or rather, only knowledge that lends you a quick way to cash is valued. Though it's not like we don't have a similar attitude here
Though I have no idea what you actually study in HS. It always seemed like really basic stuff or extremely disjointed.

On the other hand our system is incredibly focused on learning large swathes of information without any intuition. That's why people say it's quite Prussian. In contrast, the HS exams (Matura) focus more on intuition and understanding of what you are doing.
This leads to a lot of people getting worse marks on their final exams, because they aren't used to this type of thinking. If you can "think", then it becomes piss easy. (For example, I know jack fucking shit about German Grammar on its own, but I got 93% on my Matura, because I knew how to actually write and work with the language.)(Same goes for English. If you actually speak the language, use it and like it, then the matura is so fucking easy, it's hard to not earn a +90% result)(And if you take the Expert level one instead of the base level one, 60% is considered to be good.)
It's a big fucking mess with elements from western education, what was left from communism and what the Government is currently trying to force.
That's why it's a clusterfuck.

Sage because I got probably 90% of this wrong.
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No. 17295
>>17294
>I'm inclined to say that one part of it is the really awful minority integration, then the lack of funds, lazy teachers who can't be fired, further syphoning away funds and the general lack of enthusiasm from students because of all the above. Knowledge just doesn't seem to be valued all that much in America, or rather, only knowledge that lends you a quick way to cash is valued. Though it's not like we don't have a similar attitude here

All of this is basically true. The only educators who stand out in my recollection as having been really competent and rigorous in 4 years of public high school here were probably my AP calc teacher and my Latin teacher. History courses were always extremely weak.
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No. 17297
354 kB, 26 pages
4,0 MB, 426 × 240, 2:07
>>17295
This is actually not what the problem is

>>17294
>inclined to say that one part of it is the really awful minority integration,
This isn't actually the problem and I fucking hate it when euros listen to dumb fatniks and think to blame all our problems on minorities, which is what our oligarchs want us to do instead of looking at the actual problems. I went to a poor all white school. It was also shoot.
>then the lack of funds,
I think this mentality is also a problem. You can't just throw money at a problem until it goes away. One big part is the epic mismanagement. Like our district blew millions of dollars on getting new buses, idk however many ridiculous millions of dollars, meanwhile they fired a bunch of teachers and cut programs.

>lazy teachers who can't be fired,
This is also a lie, please refer to previous point. They fired a bunch of teachers from my district after blowing money on shiny new buses. It is, again, passing the buck, rather than looking at systemic problems. Worse, because I live in an actual cyberpunk dystopia tier place where some people want to privatize everything including the military contractors, police, schools, and prisons turning the country into one giant feudal plantation.

>Knowledge just doesn't seem to be valued all that much in America, or rather, only knowledge that lends you a quick way to cash is valued.
This is actually one of our biggest problems. Schools are not designed to impart knowledge or train the intellect whatsoever, in fact more often than not they are deliberately designed to do the opposite
https://wesjones.com/gatto1.htm

Why? Because it benefits a certain oligarch segment of the society to have everyone else being a bunch of puerile barely literate dumbfucks who are completely unable to distinguish fact from fiction, or to use logic and reason in problem solving. This is because it is more profitable to have a nation of dumbasses who are easy pickings for mass marketing and blindly doing what they are told in work, the military, or anywhere else, regardless of how absurd and stupid it is or contrary to their own interests. A truly enlightened and educated public is a major threat to these people.

The main thing schooling actually does here is instill a sense of reflexive obedience to authority figures, disdain to intellectualism and wisdom, reinforces a retarded class structure, and inculcates the worst crass materialism.

I think that this man is right (pdf related). For one thing, think about what are the great American heroes today. Great statesmen? Explorers? Conquerors? Scientists who made bold discoveries catapulting America to international renown and power? Great writers and artists burnishing our international prestige? How about astronauts?

No, it is fucking rappers and braindead celebrities and dumbfucks playing sports. I think Trump is an excellent example of the total moral and intellectual breakdown of society where some dumb as shit reality TV host gets elected. Not even just another dumb celebrity, but the absolute dumbest of all possible genres of TV celebrity. This is a country that would now rather elect the Sham Wow guy.

I think that John Glubb, despite whatever faults one may find in his argument, was absolutely right in this regard, and that the last, decadent age of a haughty and arrogant empire is an age of sports, games, celebrity, and triviality, typified by a disdain for the exact qualities that made it an empire to begin with. I do not wish to lay all the blame on one thing like schooling, but it sure as hell is not helping. What's worse is it becomes a sort of "famous for being famous" thing, like a Paris Hilton, with no discernible talents or qualities of her own except being famous for being rich--and not even money she worked for, but money she inherited. So, I don't think we even have examples of the heroic to even contrast this trash to anymore, and that the whole society is geared to "muh dik muh gun make mony die trin" mentality.

You know I was watching this documentary on some Brit who somehow conned the Iraqi government out of millions of dollars for some fake bomb detection device, and it occurs to me that what that guy did is the highest virtue in modern American society except that he got caught.
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No. 17299
>>17297
I know what kind of effect even 2-3 problematic kids from minority backgrounds can have on the progress of a class.
If you don't have them either well integrated or separated completely, they'll bring the academic average down and will cause problems for the whole class.
Of course it's not the only problem, but it does have an effect.
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No. 17300
>>17299
>I know what kind of effect even 2-3 problematic kids from minority backgrounds can have on the progress of a class.
Oh you do, do you. Tell me what this experience is then.

Because fact of the matter is this isn't our biggest issue, in fact it's negligible. The main issue in terms of minorities America has is what every big empire has, which is we've got so many thousands of different racial, ethnic, religious, linguistic, class, and sub-cultural and other backgrounds it strains us in general disunity as it does in any large empire, but it pisses me off whenever people try to shift the blame for all our numerous issues on it's da darkies, like some idiots trying to blame say our school shootings on minorities or whatever. Any time we have a problem, always some idiot chimes in oh well it's nonwhites.

We had exactly 4 non-whites in my school. None of them caused any problems. None of them brought the average down or caused problems. We did however have a massive high school drop out rate and a ton of kids getting held back a grade and lots of general disruptions. The curriculum was dumbed down and still we had people failing hard, all of them whites, many of them trailer park types.

Just look at our society at large. Americans are well known around the world for being a bunch of ignorant dumbasses. You can't blame that on minorities. The average adult American is, in general, completely retarded, and a huge part of why is we're never really expected to know or learn anything and there is a general culture of anti-intellectualism. This is because again it doesn't pay to have intelligent, critically thinking individuals in this society.

What this society wants to churn out is infantile morons who readily obey and believe whatever they're told. Those are the people you can convince to slave away making the oligarch caste more money for fewer benefits, to listen to TV ads and not question it, to listen to government lies and not to question it. Any intelligent person would've opposed the second Iraq invasion and noted how preposterous it was to say 9/11 then give money to Saudi Arabia and invade Iraq instead, but it went largely unopposed at first. We're talking about a society where flat earthers are becoming a thing.

You will notice for instance that we don't teach logic and rhetoric anymore. This is because teaching such a subject is directly in opposition to all the major marketing firms, corporations, and government who don't want people to actually bother critically thinking about what they've just been told, which in fact is often downright insulting to one's intelligence. Nor does this country especially want educated minorities. Like hiphop actually used to be politically charged music. Nowadays it's entirely bling, hoes, money, guns, drugs. Bubble gum pop is often the same shit, like Barbie World.

If you really look at it you'll notice the overarching theme is to basically just be a mindless consumer drone. The problem is now also our higher education has been sabotaged to where it's more like adult daycare than actual centers of research and learning, complete with the infantile "trigger warning" type of culture, to the point where on some level we're directly told the only point in getting a degree is "to prove that you can follow instructions and stick with a project" or somesuch--in other words, the content of what you learned is irrelevant, only that you've proven you can do what you're told and function within the company.
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No. 17301 Kontra
>>17300
I'm blaming some of it on minorities. I only blame some of it on them.
>like some idiots trying to blame say our school shootings on minorities
I thought that's a "white people thing". If I remember correctly most "minority schoolshootings" are just acts of gang violence that happen to happen in the vicinity of a school.
>The curriculum was dumbed down and still we had people failing hard, all of them whites, many of them trailer park types.
Every race has trash in it. Some more, some less. I'm not saying that just because someone is white they are automatically demi-gods.

The dumbing down of the curriculum itself is a really big issue in itself. If you have someone who wastes 4-5 years of his life at a HS without learning the basics, they'll bleed shit at a university (That is, if they decide to go to somewhere where actual teaching takes place.)
It stems from the fact that in the last 20-30 years the west got bewitched what we call "Paper fetish" here. Everybody wants a diploma or a certificate from a college because it "guarantees" good salaries. (They don't, or at least, not always, your freestyle dance instructor paper isn't going to land you at a 100k a year job, but a computer science or a statistician might.) A lot of people would be better off with studying a trade because a proper university course is simply beyond their abilities.
And because we need more people with a college education (Engineers, Doctors, Programmers and so on) they keep lowering the bar so more people can get in, but those people don't necessarily pursue these "Hard" subject because of a lack of general discipline, lack of interest and/or abilities to do so. (I know for example that I'll never become a surgeon simply because my hands are too shaky.)
Then there is also the "Media and Finance in control education" and "enslavement" of the lower classes thing. Everybody knows that. My teachers know that, I know that.
One one hand, it's extremely sad that the school system is used for that, but on the other, at least it's some form of order, which is preferable to complete anarchy and letting all the IQ89 people run around doing whatever they see fit.
It cuts back the freedom of the smart, but also balances their restricted freedom by stabilizing the dumb.

I just don't have that much faith in the average Joe sadly. I know I'm not much better than the average Joe, but still, I can't seem to have any faith in their goodwill and their ability to be in charge of their own lives.

Kontra because I'm breaking my own promise to myself to never talk about things like this ever again until I'm older.
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No. 17303
On a less racially loaded note, I also reworked some of my epic poem. It's surprisingly challenging and it's becoming less literal and more of a reworking/rewriting. It's interesting to do.
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No. 17312
663 kB, 3060 × 1628
>>17293
If you want to take it a bit more seriously I recommend checking out convict conditiong, it's a bit of a meme but as far as bodyweight home workouts go, it offers a pretty decent system. It's not perfect but it's a rather simple routine of 6 exercises with variations of progressing difficulty, so you can start at a very simple level if you aren't experienced. You can get the book for it off libgen, the writing style is a bit annoying at times but it offers some good general information and pointers on form for the exercises.

Anyways may Zyzz be with you and grant you sick gainz!
>>
No. 17313
Test.

Why I am not able to post in the philosophy thread?
>>
No. 17315 Kontra
>>17313
It suddenly works after posting successful in another thread?
>>
No. 17316
>>17299
>I know what kind of effect even 2-3 problematic kids from minority backgrounds can have on the progress of a class.
How do you know this, exactly? You're a high school student from Hungary. If you have problems with gypsies, you can't extend that to all minorities. Everything I've read or heard from people in the area indicates that post-Commieland gypsies are a uniquely fucked up population, not at all comparable to anything found in the US.

>If you don't have them either well integrated or separated completely, they'll bring the academic average down and will cause problems for the whole class.
There is absolutely a problem of teaching students from shitty cultural backgrounds, but you actually see improvement in those students without significantly bringing down the quality of education if you only have a few of them. This is one of the justifications for bussing - a few massively outnumbered ghetto kids will tend to assimilate to the classroom culture of a bunch of white or Asian kids.
Ghetto schools are shitholes because kids go there with a shitty attitude towards school, and only those kids go to those schools. But even then, not all ghetto schools are shitholes - my friend went to one that was about as good as the white suburban one I went to.

>>17301
>I just don't have that much faith in the average Joe sadly. I know I'm not much better than the average Joe, but still, I can't seem to have any faith in their goodwill and their ability to be in charge of their own lives.
This is why I think an East Asian-style education system is superior to ours (apparently Finns and some other Europeans get similar results without the soul-crushing elements of Asian school, but I don't know enough about European schools to make a proper comparison). I should say that American education is the best in the world for students that are naturally motivated and/or intelligent. You get exactly what you put into it.
You have a low-stress environment that allows and even encourages you to pursue extracurricular enrichment (in the form of the wishy-washy university admissions process that only partially looks at grades and test scores), and once you get to university you have access to the best minds in the world who are eager to talk about their area of expertise with you. STEM students get rigorous world-class training in their area of study; non-STEM students have even more time to do whatever they want, while still being able to talk to world-class scholars in their free time.

Of course, this means that even if you're intelligent, if you lack motivation you won't get much out of the system. And if you lack intelligence, the system won't give you anything at all.
>>
No. 17321
>>17316
Not with HS and under though. Smart kids are prone to doing stupid shit when they're bored and surrounded by dumbasses.
>>
No. 17322
So I finally figured out what that feeling reminded me of: sobering up next morning. Lots of kava feels weirdly like that with this swimmy head feeling and unpleasant body feeling, also a more racing heart. I also swear it's making my urine a shade of florescent green but can't tell.

Otherwise in the experiment it seems that you actually need to keep taking kava continually to really get effects, but there's a certain lower threshold than you'd expect where it just makes you sick. I suspect a big part of this is from drinking the nasty as all fuck root water, which is okay if you get a shot of liquid with juice chaser.

All in all wouldn't recommend unless you have drinking or other problems. The "high" is more effort than it's really worth, like a super poor quality benzo or being drunk. I think a big issue is how foul it tastes and you basically have to keep drinking it every day to really get an effect. It is a lot more pleasant than I expected from basically herbal remedy, but meh. It seems to have too narrow a therapeutic profile on top of tasting disgusting so it's hard to hit the spot where you're feeling pleasant and stress free without going into nauseated mode.
>>
No. 17323
I just fucked off from work against the wish of my boss. I wrote the fucking contract worker company in a mail that I would need to leave at 0:00 but it seems like they fucked it up and didn't tell the company about it (otherwise I would have had to wait 3 hours for the next bus and another day would have gone to shit and I need to send away applications asap).
Well, we had a little fight about this ans I just packed my shit and left the building. Gonna write my company a mail immediately so they'll know what happened. Got to say I'd be sort of sad if I had to leave the workplace because of this but it wouldn't bother me that much. If they kick me I'll just go to another company and I've got enough money to stay alive for the next one and a half month. Still it all sucks, fuck everything.
>>
No. 17326
>>16948
>>17322
Why don't you stick to Kratom?
I use it once a month for 2-3 days (it's my personal binge system, K get really fucking high for 2-3 days but don't use Kratom for the rest of the month) and that's enough for me but then again I've never been an actual opioid or benzo addict so I'm not sure if it will do the trick.
I know that most people on the internet and for some reasons especially americans tend to just take a dose of 2-3g but that doesn't do anything for me. I usually take 9-10g and it usually gives me a great buzz, inner warmth and a feeling of love. Also I fill it up in 1g capsules so I don't have to deal with the shitty taste.
>>
No. 17328
>>17326
Too expensive plus it gives me insomnia

Although, if I could afford it I probably would stick with that. I'm mainly looking for an alternative to getting prescribed an anxiolytic or smoking or drinking.
>>
No. 17329
Late night mild anxiety post!

I have been having anxieties this week for various reasons - work, life, finances, future...

Last one I had yesterday because I tried to build a high tier midrange PC (i5 9600K, GTX 2060, 32GB RAM, 6TB HDD+500GB SSD) and found out that I would need $2350 to buy everything, which is roughly 4.5x my paycheck, and I am also planning to buy a car because the one I already have constantly needs repairs and is officially really old now (11 year old Mitsubishi).

I did a quick calculation and found out that I need to receive 3x my current paycheck just to be able to buy the car (looking at the Golf or the Corolla) and the PC/practice other hobbies. I was so upset about it today that I could not work today.

I need to leave my current employer, and for that to happen I need to study and certify some more, acquire more experience and work with cutting edge technologies so my chances would be better if I applied elsewhere - which I am already trying to do but I received no replies whatsoever.

Thing is, for some reason I cannot get myself to study and certify. $250 for an exam is expensive for me and I am known to fail tests because of insecurity and performance anxiety, so I might need another $250 for a retry.

Ah, such shitsalad. It will pass...somehow...
>>
No. 17330
I have just discovered something fantastic
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Creator/FrancisEDec
>>
No. 17332
201 kB, 340 × 488
35 kB, 540 × 430
>>17330
>Dec's rants detail a complicated (and often highly contradictory) universe-spanning conspiracy, presided over by the Worldwide Mad Deadly Communist Gangster Computer God, and involving Mind Control of the whole human race, invisible cities on the far side of the moon, as well as pretty much every single non-Slavic race (Dec was a Polish supremacist, of all things). Common antagonists in Dec's life included Jewish Nazis, Communist-Catholic warrior monks with poison-coated swords and night vision goggles, and CIA-affiliated Ethiopian gangster perverts who had apparently covertly taken over Nassau County, NY for the purposes of anally abusing the populace while they slept.

>Among others, Dec claimed that the Roman Empire never existed, that there was once a world-wide Slovene Empire and that Computer God interbred Slovene and black people to create "Jew-mulattos".

> His version of World War Two, apparently resulting from an inability to accept the Jews as victims of the same atrocities inflicted upon the Poles, is just mind-boggling. The Nazis were actually Jews exterminating the Poles; the ghettos were posh and luxurious Jewish districts; there were only six million Poles and all of them were killed and made into human meat; somehow some of them survived to be later sacrificed to the USA and Great Britain; the 1943 ghetto uprising is a fabrication by Gangster Computer God; and Pope Pius apparently ate Polish human meat.

>Bilingual Bonus: Some of the rants contain snippets in broken Polish. Despite some raging anti-Semitism, he also liked to swear in Yiddish (or Yittish, as he called it).

>The Slovenic-Polish population were apparently the most ingenious race and the creators of all science and religion. The fact that Dec was of Polish-American heritage might have had something to do with it...

>plot holes: If the Slovene people were an agrarian society (by the author's own admission - it's even underlined), then how did they build the Top Secret Encyclopedia, a supercomputer?

>If "all six million Polish" were exterminated by the "Nazi Jewmany", then how do they still exist and where did Dec go on a "trip to Poland" he mentions in one of his letters?
Have you found the one true religion of the Slovene empire known as Slovene Astrocism?

http://www.bentoandstarchky.com/dec/astrocism.htm
>SEVERAL HUNDRED YEARS AGO, THE SLOVENIC COMPUTER BECAME A REAL DEVIL GOD AND IT ORGANIZED THE FIRST TOTALITARIAN SUPERSTITION COMMUNISM RELIGION, PRAWO SLAVNA and hundreds of years later by C. God top secret INTENSIFIED REPITITION of FABRICATED HISTORICAL CRISIS SYNDROME created the schismatic Mafia Communist Catholicism, Catholicism means totalitarianism, Dict. FOR CONTROL AND MANIPULATION OF THE HUMAN RACE INTO THE OVER ALL PLAN, to explore and control the entire Universe.

>The C. God usurped everything from the SLOVENIC ASTROCISM RELIGION and camouflaged it when the C. God fabricated it into the Prawo Slawna superstition religion. For thousands of years, over millions of square miles of ancient Slovenia, even in its distant province of ALASKA, like ALUTIANS (Ancient Slovenic idiomatic names: Alutians, namely the long string of islands to the great endless land, namely ALASKA, the before recorded history; name of No. and So. America.

>ADDENDA: These words, like most of the Slovenic language to this day, with its UNBELIEAVABLE sophisticated countless declensions of not only the suffix, but even the prefix and stem, are IDIOMATIC. Even the name SLOVENIC IS IDIOMATIC, meaning the worded people. Neighboring nations of Slovenia, alias Poland, still to this day call it Slovenia. Examples are Hungary and Lithuania.
>>
No. 17335
>>17332
That’s a 4chan gsg meme as dar as I can tell. It even had a Victoria 2 mod.
>>
No. 17342
My 2nd run of the year, lots of people, so a bit of dodging, slowing down and waiting at traffic lights, about 20 minutes, I start with a jog up a steep hill then a little circle.
Ran the whole way minus a little walk at the end to cool down, good news I could have ran more and didn't get a headache which made me stop like last time.
Push ups 10,10,7! fail, then 2,1 so 30 total.
Not bad for 112 or 115kg, generous rest time 2-3 minutes.
I'd love a beer but going to be good for a while.
Yesterday slept for 6 hours then a wakey sleepy 2 hours.
Better than the 4.5 hours I normally get.
Going to try run every 2nd day, and do some abdominal work on the other day, maybe throw in shadow boxing, foam roller and if I can a brief skipping, however room is tiny but it is possible.
Good luck guys.
>>
No. 17343
>>16938
no , it`s the same day since 200 years .
>>
No. 17345
>>17328
I just checked and found 100g Kratom for 20 USD. Alright, I don't know about the quality but that's pretty cheap. I pay around 30 EUR for 100g. Also if 10g equal getting high one time, you can get high ten times for 2 dollars each. That's definitely cheaper than getting drunk, probably also cheaper than weed.
>>
No. 17348
>>17345
Why fiddle with something that is so often useless and not just go for good old Ketamine instead?
>>
No. 17349
>>17345
I was paying like $200 for a kilo at one point and that ended up on the cheaper bulk end, or $100/lb from elsewhere sort of rates (1kg=2.2lb). That would last me about idk, maybe a month if I stretched it. I was probably going through 4oz a day easily at one point, which lemme see, yeah 116g. That is crushed leaf, not the powder which I hated but you could make bunch of pills with it it's just that is more likely to cause upset stomach, and you're talking like two dozen 00 gel caps in a sitting. I actually don't know of I'm getting the details right since that in retrospect seems like quite a lot but oddly I never got addicted. I'm fact I've had way worse caffeine addictions than Kratom which I did for months on end.

Although yeah I guess considering it's very easy to blow $50+ in one night at a bar, or spend that kind of money on smoking or whatever, that it doesn't seem so bad, but that's still a considerable expense.

>>17348
Because you can't sip a mug of ketamine before work or while on lunch break. Because you also probably can't take ketamine as routinely as cigarettes or coffee.
>>
No. 17350
Had the exam. It was really easy. Piss easy actually. Talked for a good 10 minutes about the constitution, its influences and the amendments, then they suddenly said "Thanks and goodbye".
Didn't even get to talk about the war or anything.

The exams started earlier, so even though I got there half an hour early, I could already take it. I was over with it so fast, that when I went down to the principal's office to get a paper that'll let me leave the building, they said they'll show me where the exam room is.
When I said I was already finished, the vice principal seemed a bit surprised.
>"What about the 30 minute preparation period?"
>"The what?"
Apparently you can have 30 minutes to prepare on the before taking an exam like this. (You get thirty minutes to write down something of a shorthand based on what you already know, just so that your speech has some structure to it.)

Tomorrow will be much tougher I think. The literature teacher actually gives a fuck about the exams. (Though I don't know why, it's pointless, since I wrote all the tests and attended all the classes, they already know what I'm capable of.)

Gonna try reading a bit tonight, then studying. It's another afternoon exam.
>>
No. 17355
>>17348
Heresy! Kratom is not useless at all, once you get to know it and its effect you'll see its beauty. Really a lot of first-timers or people who just tried it like once didn't get it I guess. To me and a good friend of mine it's anything else than useless, and we've both also done other, real opioids.
Also why I loved taking ketamine it's not comparable to Kratom in the slightest. They affect your brain in completely different ways. Maybe you were thinking of DXM instead of Kratom? Not to mention that Kratom doesn't fuck as much with your mind as Keta does and usually lasts way longer.

>>17349
Your consumption sounds pretty weird to me. 116g a day is like a really high dose, I don't even see the purpose of consuming such enormous amounts. Btw I use 00 capsules everytime and my stomach doesn't get upset at all, it's all going fine. I just sometimes get mild nausea because I never really weigh the amount I take so sometimes 10 capsules are 9g and sometimes 10 capsules are 11g. 9g are fine but 11g already make me feel nauseaous. By the way if you took so much, how didn't you fall asleep? Or did you just bring a massive tolerance from other opioids?
>>
No. 17360
>>17355
I'd just fill a French press with crushed leaf and steep it. I can't honestly remember if that was more like 2oz or what but I just kept straining and steeping the same stuff. I almost never ate the actual stuff just made tea. And it makes me wired. I never really got a big sedative effect from any opioid, although my general tolerance was just from drinking tea literally every day. But like I said oddly I had no WD after doing this for months. At worst I was just more tired than usual for a couple days.
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No. 17377
31 kB, 381 × 356
Worked my ass off today to finish my bachelor's thesis draft and just sent it to some people for proofreading. There are still several parts I need to complete/rework quite a bit but I'm taking a day off tomorrow since I don't feel or want anything anymore and it'll take time for the feedback anyway. Will have to go full crunch mode on the weekend since I'll be attempting to hand it in on Monday, one day before the deadline.
>>
No. 17389
>>17377
You made it at least. How many pages did you have to write?

Afaik you coming from MINT? I heard they are more mild on a bachelor thesis since you don't write a lot on these subjects.
>>
No. 17390
>>17389
My bachelor thesis (CS) was 70 pages long. I don't know if they are 'more mild'. I got a 1.3 (A-) even though I wasn't really happy with my thesis. But the thing is, STEM topics generally are more complicated than humanities, so nobody expects an undergraduate to contribute much of value. Another difference is that STEM isn't so anal about citations. It's sufficient to just cite the book or paper, you don't have to specify the exact line number and shiet. It's more about the content and not so much about proving that you know how to quote.
>>
No. 17400
>>17390
> It's more about the content and not so much about proving that you know how to quote.

Leave them alone. A lot of these "Sciences" don't have anything else to be proud of.
>>
No. 17403
I'm finally done with the midterm exams. To hell with this.
I wasn't satisfied with my oral exam from Literature. I found my presentation to be very weak. I should improve on it sometime.

Apparently my wording improved since my last essay, but now I feel bad because it's like I'm delivering less content. It feels hopeless, honestly. I'm starting to lose my faith in myself.

I'm going to turn off the computer, have some coffee and read the remaining ~50 or so pages from Kudrun. I can't bear the shame it brings on me that I haven't finished it in close to a month.

My mother got sick, so I'm basically in charge of the household right now.

On my way home I almost bought a book. Two books, actually, on was Siekniewicz's "With fire and sword", which seemed interesting, but I heard the Hungarian edition is censored, and the other was a Hungarian book titled "Ördöggörcs", which was supposedly a chronicle of the Karinthy family. (Three generations of a family that had successful writers, theatre directors and comedians)
I like Frigyes Karinthy's writings so it seemed tempting, but I didn't get it because I don't particularly care about either his son or grandson's works. (Which this one seemed to cover more extensively)
They propped up a new bookstand near the metro station and they are selling basically nothing but pure garbage. Yet people come and buy it by the truckload.
>>
No. 17412
>>17390
>>17390
>But the thing is, STEM topics generally are more complicated than humanities, so nobody expects an undergraduate to contribute much of value

I think you underestimate theoretical thoughts made in social science and humanities.
Undergraduates won't contribute much of value in there either and your content thesis is just pulled out of your ass like it's typical for this disciplinary trench war thing. You won't get thru just by quoting correctly.
>>
No. 17413
517 kB, 1053 × 1737
>>17389
>You made it at least.
Well, not quite yet, but I guess it'd already be enough to pass. There wasn't really a page requirement but I ended up writing ~30 pages, or ~10k words, so far, and I'm planning to do a few more tweaks and additions over the weekend.
>Afaik you coming from MINT?
I'm in some weird ass bachelor's program that's basically half CS and half psychology, but my thesis ended up being a literature review on a pure psychology subject. Can't say I'm particularly happy with how it turned out since I only received a very rough (and somewhat confusing) directions from my advisors and had to figure out the specifics myself so I also think they'll be lenient when grading. Though honestly, I'm just happy to finally be done with it since psychology for the most part is a ridiculous clusterfuck and I don't want anything to do with it anymore.

>>17403
>I'm finally done with the midterm exams. To hell with this.
Congrats dude.
>"Ördöggörcs"
I'd buy it just for the title :-DD
>>
No. 17414
Is it true that they boil water by microwaving in the US?
As far as I heard, in the US they don't drink hot tea at all. Maybe it's the case?
sorry for countryballing
>>
No. 17416
>>17413
Well, it's a compound word:
Ördög (oerdoeg) means "devil"
Görcs (goerch) means "cramp"
So it's "Devilcramp" or "Devil's cramp"
It sometimes happens that we use too many ö's. I think it was done on purpose in this case.
"e" is actually more prevalent in the language. So much so that there is a language game called "eszperente" where you can only use words with only "e" as a vowel.

Another "funny case" of overused ö's comes from the Hungarian dub of the Smurfs where that old wizard's catchphrase is "Töpörödött törpördögök" which roughly translates to "Wizened dwarf-devils".
I mean, it must be funny for foreigners, I'm just used to bullshit like this.

>Congrats dude.
Thanks. Now I'm waiting for the results.
>>
No. 17418
>>17414
I...I mean wait, wut I don't actually understand the question here

I mean yes generally speaking if I want instant coffee, heated up cold coffee, hot coco or whatever I microwave the water. I only don't if metal is involved. I also do this for making ramen. I don't do it for French press. Is it some meme I am not aware of?
>>
No. 17420
>>17416
>"Töpörödött törpördögök"
>I mean, it must be funny for foreigners
Yes, it is :-DD
I can't even imagine how to pronounce it properly, reminds me of Finnish for some reason. I mean German also has the ö but it's used rather sparingly
>>17418
On this side of the Atlantic people usually boil water in electric kettles for instant coffee, ramen etc. afaik
>>
No. 17421
164 kB, 800 × 703
>>17420
>reminds me of Finnish for some reason
The reason is that those languages share the same roots. The family is called finno-ugric.
>>
No. 17422
>>17418
>I only don't if metal is involved.
Yeah, I hate it when the ping of the microwave disrupts The Trooper.
I think his question is: how do you boil water? On stove or in the micro.
>>
No. 17423
49 kB, 600 × 338
69 kB, 600 × 418
>>17420
Well, not necessarilly electric, but kettles for sure.
>>
No. 17424
55 kB, 750 × 594
>>17421
Well, that makes a lot of sense then I guess

>>17423
Fair enough, but that 2nd picture is really rather painful to look at
>>
No. 17426
>>17421
>>17420
We are the Ugrics.
Besides grammar and some really basic words we don't have much in commond with them. Hungarian phonetics came under the influence of turkic languages a good 2 thousand years ago, and the Finnic and Ugric branches separated 4k years ago.
Add to this that there was a consonant shift too (k->h, p->f and so on) and you'll see that we drifted far apart for better or for worse.

Kivistä verinen oli vävyn käsi.
Kövektől véres volt veje keze.
His son in law's hand was bloody from the stone.

Orvon silmä kyyneliä täynnä.
Árva szeme könnyel tele.
His orphaned eye is full of tears.

These illustrate what is common when it comes to basic vocabulary.

The closest languages would be khanty and Mansi:

Hurem né vitnel huligel husz hul pugi.
Három nő a vízből hálóval húsz halat fog.
Three women catch from the water twenty fishes with a net.

Pegte lau lasinen menl tou szilna.
Fekete ló lassan megy a tó szélén.
(The) Black horse walks slowly on the lakeside.
>>
No. 17427
>>17421
People knowing Finno-Ugric languages say that they are too different.
Source: Mokshan-Erzyan-Russian dictionary.
Start is "ušetks/ušodks", end is "pe/pe", evening is "iläd'/čokšne", morning is "valske/šobdava". And how is it in Hungarian?
>>
No. 17429
>>17422
For pasta stove, but that's the only reason I really bother. I don't like nuking most things like bread though because it's mushy and the worst taste is microwave burned bread. But I still do. Honestly a big part of it is I don't trust the microwave to not explode things. And because boiling water for pasta in there would be weird when I can use a stove top instead.
>>
No. 17431
>>17427
End would be "Vég"
Start would be "Kezdet"
Morning is "Reggel"
Evening is "Este"

They really are too different.
Basically most of them went through different evolutionary paths and drifted far apart.
I don't understand a single word from most of these unless they are pointed out.
Hungarian is especially different because we formed a language island in the middle of Europe, so a considerable amount of our vocabulary is Germanic, Latin or Slavic. (But mostly "of uncertain origin")
>>
No. 17432
Fun fact: if one is a Finno-Ugric speaker, there is a high probability he knows Russian.
>>
No. 17433
>>17432
I doubt it, honestly.
A quarter of Finno-ugric speakers come from Finnland, half from Hungary, and the remaining quarter or so from Russia, so I wouldn't say the probability is really high.
>>
No. 17447
183 kB, 599 × 562
Dear diary, my iq was enough to level up my skills at work and now I should get more money for getting gud. Last step for max pay is to become the indutrial programming pro. People at work are kind of scared that I'm using them to git gud and then I'll leave for europe, like some other dude they hired before me. Apparently that's the trend among young people, and it's not just me who feels like leaving is the thinking man's decsion.
>>
No. 17448
5 kB, 382 × 274
>>17433
This.
Data from Wikipedia:
Hungarian 13.5M
Finn 7M
Estonian 1.1M
Mordvin 800K
Mari 548K
Udmurt 552K
Komi 323K
Karelian 61 K
Khanty 31K
Mansi 12K
Vepsian 6K
Livonian 180
Vote 60 (poor little dudes)

Frankly it should even called Finno-Ugric, but Hungro-Finnic or something.
>>
No. 17449
>>17414
>Is it true that they boil water by microwaving in the US?
I never saw an electric kettle until I went overseas. I recall my mom using some kind of kettle when I was a kid, but that was 20 years ago. The microwave is used to boil any quantity of water that isn't too large to fit, or which needs to be kept at a sustained boil such as when cooking pasta.
>As far as I heard, in the US they don't drink hot tea at all. Maybe it's the case?
I drink hot tea, but it is extraordinarily rare to do so. Even among Asians here I don't think it's that common, except for immigrants. We are very much a coffee over tea culture, and 90% of the tea we do consume is iced.

btw it's not countryballing if you're asking a sincere question. It's not like you're not telling us about our country or spouting stupid memes.
>>
No. 17450
191 kB, 600 × 600
>>17449
I wonder what's more energy efficient. A microwave or a kettle. I never saw anyone boil their watter in a microwave even once in my life.
>>
No. 17451
7 kB, 378 × 450
I have made some progress in my meditation.
Now I can focus my awareness on the feelings of anxiety and procrastination, in order to disarm them and at least get started on a task I would previously avoid. This is a welcome change, as I now feel that I could learn to do things calmly, without relying on "inspiration" (psychosis).

Or maybe my depressive symptoms subsided after recovering from the flu, I don't know. Hard to judge cause and effect when your mental state is a roller coaster. I enjoy meditation, at least, I should keep doing it.

Also, I've been cutting down on cigarettes. Did not smoke for three days, smoked a couple today. I am quite convinced I should quit now. What I've noticed is that smoking not only blunts my anxiety, but does the same for other emotions, including positive ones. Nicotine withdrawal makes me feel anxious and restless, but it's that very restlessness that lets me get off my ass and do things. Smoking seems to give me a sedating effect that makes me less productive. Also, cigarettes taste and smell a lot better when you only indulge occasionally :-DDDDD.

The next step of my self development is clear: learn to harness good feels and an upbeat state of mind WITHOUT relying on psychotic euphoria.
>>
No. 17452
>>17451
You have got to be kidding me :D
I am in bed with the flu (or whatever it is) right now, but yesterday, while I was still feeling fine, I made some noticeable progress in my meditation. Doing the sitting meditation I was able (for the first time, maybe) to let the breathing go on auto pilot and just watch the feeling of air in my nose. While before I always had to split my concentration between keeping my breath going and feeling the air, which prevented deeper states of focus.
Also, I'm on a streak of 26 days now, I hope I can manage to meditate today and not break the sreak just because I'm ill.
>>
No. 17454
>>17451
>>17452
I can't get meditation. Every time I try it I feel like I'm just wasting time sitting like an autist. I get nothing out of this and I tried different methonds from void to breathing to whatever.
>>
No. 17455
>>17450
I'm sure the kettle is more energy efficient, and when I was abroad I liked using it to boil water as it generally got the job done faster. But I wouldn't want to buy one for myself because it's a redundant appliance if you already have a microwave and a large pyrex measuring cup.

I'm also a little concerned about the plastic in electric kettles being so close to such high heat on a regular basis, though I don't know if those concerns are well founded.
>>
No. 17456
>>17455
I have a japanese style electric kettle and the point of it is to have no plastic near hot water and be metal as fuck. There are no plastic options out there.
>>
No. 17457
>>17456
In that case I would continue to use an electric kettle if I had one lying around, but I still think it's a superfluous appliance. I think foreigners only continue to use it out of habit (and perhaps a lack of pyrex measuring cups? I don't know if those are universal in households outside the US).
>>
No. 17459
>>17457
I can not imagine brewing tea with a microwave oven, inside a transparent dish at that.
It sounds heretical. How are you supposed to control the temperature. Would 3 liters worth of water even fit inside a microwave oven?

Or do wecterners only drink 1 cup at a time?
>>
No. 17460
15 kB, 532 × 320
>>17457
What's a pyrex cup and why is it so important?
>>
No. 17462
>>17457
What the actual fuck has your culture evolved to? I haven't been this shocked about what an american said for ... years probably.
>>
No. 17463
40 kB, 900 × 623
>>17451
Good to see you're doing well. I'm also glad that you're getting off the durries, or at the very least cutting back on them. Filling your lungs with that garbage ain't never going to do you any good physically or mentally.
>>
No. 17465
20 kB, 450 × 450
>>17460
It's just a measure cup.
We have one around, though I don't remember when it was used last time.
>>
No. 17466
>>17465
Why would you need that to heat water in a microwave?
>>
No. 17470
Today was very good so far. I slept well, probably because of the alcohol I drank.
Because my mother is still sick, I did the grocery shopping and washed the dishes.
Cleaned out my room.
My sister has her friends over, so I also have to watch over them. I wonder why I don't have any friends.
Started reading Shostakovich's Testimony. It feels really fresh.

I might play some HoMM2, watch some anime, and read more.
Then tomorrow the grind shall start again, because they'll be questioning me on Monday from Roman History.
>>
No. 17472
>>17462
Why are you all so shocked at our lack of electric kettles? I did remember that I lived somewhere that had no microwave, so I used a teapot on the stove, but generally speaking microwaves are fine for hot water.
>>
No. 17473
>>17466
Because it's a special kind of glass and depending on what you're using at what temperature certain other glasses have a habit of exploding in microwaves. I've seen this occur once with a glass bowl while reheating stew. But generally speaking any glass or ceramic bowl or coffee mug is okay. Pyrex is just heat resistant
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyrex
I should point out, that you're talking to at least two of us. I often don't bother with pyrex because I'm reckless and also because I don't typically manufacture large quantities of soup or stew however when I do I typically use glass or ceramic bowls and haven't suffered many problems. I have had one exploded glass bowl over the last decade.
>>
No. 17484
74 kB, 600 × 800
>>17473
So to make tea authentic and safe el goblino americano way I need to first pour water into a pyrex® measuring cup, heat it, then pour said water in a cup, then put a CheapoBrand® tea bag in it? Process repeats for your next cup. And if you need to heat more than 1L you are fucked and forced to do it several times? Am I getting this correctly?
>>
No. 17485
>>17472
Making tea is a ritual for me. And I need specific temperatures: 65°C and 70°C for Sencha and Bancha, 75-80°C for Ginseng, 95°C for Coffee. I've never seen a micro wave able to heat up to a certain point measured in temperature.

There is nothing particularly wrong with heating water in a microwave, I guess, it might even be more energy saving than an electric cattle, not sure.
>>
No. 17486
420 kB, 1600 × 1600
>>17484
Err well no, you can just put a tea bag in your mug and put that in the microwave. Most tea companies now don't use metal staples in tea bags for exactly that reason. Then you just keep putting each new mug and tea bag in the microwave. We're not big tea drinkers so you're only going to probably have like 1-2 cups of tea anyway, if any at all. This is America. We don't drink this faggy old leaves flavored water unless you're a hippy. We drink coffee, beer, soda, Koolaid, and sometimes juice.
>>
No. 17487
499 kB, 500 × 375, 0:03
>>17486
>We don't drink this faggy old leaves flavored water

Here speaks a person that does not want to enjoy life.
>>
No. 17488
>>17487
I am joking in that sentence of course, but in the rest I'm not. In fact it wouldn't surprise me if some Americans actually viewed tea as drinking "poverty leaves" or somesuch.
>>
No. 17489
A work mate put it right when he said, he felt like someone beat him up in his sleep after waking up. Same for me most days.

Besides a little wage slaving I will do the dish tonight, finally I think, has been ~3 weeks by now. Then read in a book or two. But first dinner will be ready to eat soon.
>>
No. 17491
I fucking fell asleep while reading. That's new.
>>
No. 17497
403 kB, 688 × 1044
Just got done with a mighty fucking workout.
5 trips up and down my 9 story stairwell. Who needs a gym? I like climbing stairs a lot more than squatting tbh, because it's an endurance exercise. When I lift weights, my muscles give in before the heart starts pounding properly. Also, it's a lot more motivating, I can feel the ardor of "one more trip to the 9th floor, FUARK". I am fucking Tankred.

This, on the other hand, strikes a nice balance. I'll just keep doing this and increasing the number of sets (trips to the 9th floor) every week.

Also, it's been two weeks and the translation agency still hasn't given me a single assignment and hasn't called once. I think they just quietly dropped me, I am now suspecting that there was more going on behind the scenes than "oops, we lost your file". Well, nevermind, there are plenty of ads I can still apply to. I'm gonna aim for a programming job now. I know basic python and C syntax now, and can construct a linked list. I bet that will be enough to bullshit my way in.

Also, there's another ad looking for an english speaking nanny for a 4 year old kid. I could call them for shits and giggles :-DDDD.
>>
No. 17499
Went through a list of ~300 studies that I've already either read or discarded one more time to forage for some additional thoughts and citations. Feeling completely lucid right now, my body is preparing for the last efforts of injecting these citations into the ravaged patchwork body of my thesis while completely destroying my sleep habits

>>17489
>A work mate put it right when he said, he felt like someone beat him up in his sleep after waking up. Same for me most days.
I can definitely remember such sentiments, but now I Feel Fantastic (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zidiWe9yq88)
Jokes aside, I'll have to do some detoxing after the last few weeks of pre-deadline inebriation

>>17497
>Also, it's been two weeks and the translation agency still hasn't given me a single assignment and hasn't called once.
That's weird, but have you tried calling or emailing them yourself?
>>
No. 17503
>>17499
I called them last week and they said they'd be the ones calling if they need me.
So I think I got the hint, they quietly dropped me because they don't need some freelance faggot taking their jerbs.

Whatever, their rates were a ripoff any way. Apparently the going rate for a freelance translator per page is twice as much as they were offering me. I could probably just put up an ad and manage better myself.
>>
No. 17505
That feel when work is eating up most of my time off. I want the money but basically got an extra shift stapled on to the end of my first one and today have another double-length shift. Wouldn't be a problem if it didn't get piled on me out of nowhere. At least it's good money at weekend rates, and all profit. They've kept up the extra shift so my usual work is at least keeping me in the black.
>>
No. 17509
Wrote a few paragraphs, seems quite good so far quality-wise but it's going slower than anticipated. But I definitely don't want to stop as I'm so in the flow.
Much required break, but I'm gonna go back to work now.

>>17503
I see, that's too bad. Maybe they'll get back to you sometime still.
The thing is that if you're not with an agency, you need to make connections and constantly market yourself well to get customers, be it on- or offline, to make it work. Because unless it's a heavily in-demand skill, people usually won't trust a random guy who just puts up an ad without any proofs for qualification. It's definitely doable to freelance, but requires quite a bit more skills and effort, especially when getting started.
>>
No. 17511
>>17505
Do what I plan on and move to a cheap country with good internet after you save up enough. You can live for <1000 a month in safe parts of Latin America or Asia that have internet as good as Australia.
>>
No. 17513
>>17459
>It sounds heretical. How are you supposed to control the temperature. Would 3 liters worth of water even fit inside a microwave oven?
If I need that much water I'll just use a pot on the stovetop. Do your electric kettles have settings to get the water to a precise temperature? None of the ones I used had that feature.

>>17460
>What's a pyrex cup and why is it so important?
It's just a shatter-proof glass measuring cup, the ideal thing for microwave boiling due to durability, a handle, and measuring lines. I assume equivalents are available everywhere but I didn't know if people tended to use plastic or metal measuring cups instead, which can't be microwaved.
Really, I was just surprised that foreigners never thought of using the microwave to boil water, and so I wondered if perhaps for some reason it wasn't practical for you.

>>17484
How is boiling water in the microwave and pouring it over tea any different from boiling it in a kettle and pouring it over tea? I rarely drink more than one cup at a time, and I can just pop the still-hot water back into the microwave for a minute if I want to brew another cup after I'm done.
If I ever brew more than 1-2 cups worth it's for making iced tea, and I would either steep it cold if I'm lazy, or use a pot on the stovetop.

>>17485
I like tea but I don't make a hobby out of it. Ultimately it is just leaf-water, and I don't care to autistically measure the temperature of the water so that the leaf-flavors are extracted in just the right proportions.
>>
No. 17517
>>17513
I'm trying to understand what euros have against this but I think I can kind of understand it. Like heating up water in a microwave for my French press does indeed sound a little odd. Or cooking a bowl of zittis. I think the idea of a kettle is meant to evoke something called "soul" or coziness or somesuch.

>and I don't care to autistically measure the temperature of the water so that the leaf-flavors are extracted in just the right proportions.
Hey now I am actually intrigued by this. Perhaps they know something we don't? Maybe there is something to do with the extraction of chemicals to give a sweeter or more bitter flavor, or somesuch. Surely they have an actual reason for trying to set the temperature, rather than just getting steaming water and dumping it in a cup?
>>
No. 17519
>>17517
For everything that a microwave doesn't work for, there's the stovetop and pots. I can understand the soul argument for teapots, but a kettle is wholly unnecessary.

>tea
It's absolutely a thing where different flavors come out of different tea and coffee based on the steeping temperature, but I'm not a connoisseur so I don't care. I make sure the water isn't literally boiling before pouring it over tea, but that's the most I care to do. (Most) tea doesn't taste that good, it's just a nice mild stimulant and appetite suppressant that can fulfill my occasional desire for a hot beverage.
I like some jasmine teas enough that I might bother, but you can find the right temperature via rules of thumb rather than directly measured temperature.
>>
No. 17521
I guess I'll try pulling an all-nighter as there's still quite a bit left to write and I'm too agitated to sleep anytime soon without some depressant. Will boil water for some tea now in my electric kettle™, go for a cig and continue writings.

>>17517
>I think the idea of a kettle is meant to evoke something called "soul" or coziness or somesuch.

This is definitely one aspect of it. Microwaves are just really ugly appliances, basically black boxes where you input cold stuff and in some dubious manner it is transformed into hot stuff when you open the door after an minutes. While with a kettle everything feels very organic, there's metal, it gets heated up and in turn heats up the water, no bullshit. You can even hear the sound of the boiling gradually increasing until it ends with a mild click as opposed to the horrendous earrape zing of a microwave.
>>
No. 17523
15 kB, 236 × 354
>>17517
It's just that if you drink a lot of tea like a proper oriental, a kettle makes more sense.

5 cups is like the minimum per person during dinner, and tea is served to the whole family, so that's 4-5 people on average, each drinking 5 cups. You need a lot of water all at once.

And then the kettle will be emptied and it's time for a new batch. In order to not brew tea for every refill of the kettle, a strong concentration of tea is brewed in a teapot, which is then diluted with the hot water from the kettle, so water can be heated up several times without brewing new tea.

And most importantly, TEA MUST BE SERVED HOT. None of that iced nonsense. In fact, according to kazakh tea etiquette, the hostess is only supposed to pour one gulp's worth in every guest's cup, and be constantly refilling, so that the tea doesn't go cold in the guest's cup while they are drinking it, and instead stays hot inside the kettle.

regards, oriental tea drinker

(also, while googling for pictures of kazakh tea drinkage, most of the photos were some blog pictures of wecterners dressed up in traditional kazakh clothes and posing for a picture. I don't know why that annoys me so much. I don't care about "cultural appropriation", but it's kinda weird when your country is being treated like a zoo / theme park).
>>
No. 17525
>>17523
I didn't even think that tea plants could be grown in your country.
>>
No. 17526
>>17525
I don't think they can, we just import it from china since they're close by and such.

Granddad used to barter his home grown opium to the chinese in exchange for tea.
>>
No. 17527
>>17523
>but it's kinda weird when your country is being treated like a zoo / theme park).
That's an American thing. We see every country that way including our own.
>>
No. 17528
>>17517
>Hey now I am actually intrigued by this. Perhaps they know something we don't? Maybe there is something to do with the extraction of chemicals to give a sweeter or more bitter flavor, or somesuch. Surely they have an actual reason for trying to set the temperature, rather than just getting steaming water and dumping it in a cup?

You are correct, there is a reason. Green tea (which is the only one I don't boil but chose a precise temperature) has something called L-Theanine. Since you drink coffee you will probably know that effect caffeine can have: In the first 30 minutes you experience a rising motivation to do something, after 30 minutes you feel wide awake and after about 90 minutes you feel the rebound where you are becoming tired rapidly. A strong rebound can feel pretty bad, eg. after drinking 3-4 cups. Also, caffeine does not make you calm, just awake and motivated.

Now, the L-Theaine in green tea has a very calming effect, but without making you tired. Instead it increases motivation and concentration and it makes for a nice state of being awake but in a calm way rather than that slight nervousness coffee can cause.
There is also caffeine in green tea, but it's much less than in coffee or Guarana.

The problem is: Your body won't be able to take in the L-Theanine without a transmitter protein. There is one such transmitter in green tea itself: Vitamin C. But Vitamin C dies at temperatures above 70°C. So if you boil green tea, all you get is the bit of caffeine.

You can also pour boiling water over the tea, kill all the viamin C, then wait 15 minutes for it to cool down below 70°C and add vitamin C with a bit of citrus, that way you get the L-Theanine as well. But it's much more complicated so why bother?
>>
No. 17530
>>17523
Bricks drink tea with milk too don't they? Or am I wrong? I just have a recollection of thinking 'how civilised' with regards to it.
>>
No. 17531
>>17528
I actually often add citrus to green tea for taste, so this is good to know.

>>17530
>milk in tea
Red barbarian-tier, unless it's masala chai or milk "tea" with boba.
>>
No. 17532
>>17531
The joge was that it is how we drink most of our tea.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tea_in_Australia
>>
No. 17533
Cool
>>
No. 17535
61 kB, 600 × 400
86 kB, 800 × 450
>>17531
>Red barbarian-tier
In the Steppe you don't drink it the other way.
Actually pic is Mongolian suutei tsai and banshtai tsai.
>>
No. 17536
>>17535
The bansh look delicious.
>>
No. 17537
>>17536
If you like meat and dairy, there is no better group of cultures to eat from because it's a good 90% of their traditional diet.
t. occasional (unskilled) maker of steppe food
>>
No. 17538
What does it mean to be settled into a new place? I said to a friend I would message her once I'm settled into the new city. That was November but honestly all I do is wörk and then at weekend do nothing because waves of colds have been tearing through the office.

But then, that's just what being an adult is like. Maybe if I bought a fern it would feel like home or take a weeks holiday time so I can actually be healthy.

>>17526
>Granddad used to barter his home grown opium to the chinese in exchange for tea.

Your membership to the Commonwealth of Nations has been put in the post.

>>17535
>>17536
I imagine steppe childhood must have cozy moments. Mum making some nice hot banshtai tsai with extra dumplings in your favourite bowl after a hard day must be absolutely rejuvenating.
>>
No. 17539
>>17526
>Granddad used to barter his home grown opium to the chinese in exchange for tea.
How absolutely British.
>>
No. 17542
135 kB, 428 × 650
317 kB, 1024 × 683
>>17539
>>17538
Grand grandfather was an interesting person.
He lived through the 30s famine and basically saved his extended family from starvation by hiding livestock underground from russian "redistributors of wealth" and selling opium to the chinese.

>>17527
I can say for certain I don't like tourists, but I'm not sure if it's because tourism itself is obnoxious, or if it is so only because the whole industry is centered to appealing to the american boomer demographic.

If I were to visit, say, Germany, the last thing I imagine doing is putting on a cheap lederhosen halloween costume and posing for a photo with "real local Germans" with a beer and sausage in both hands. You just have to be a huge faggot to do something like that, tbh.
>>
No. 17543
>>17542
>putting on a cheap lederhosen halloween costume and posing for a photo with "real local Germans" with a beer and sausage in both hands.

That is almost exactly the concept of tourism in Bavaria you described there. I am pretty happy that my region has not much to be exploited in that way. It also means that we have quite a different demographic of tourists than Bavaria does.
>>
No. 17545
>>17542
There are worse. Far, far, far worse. I don't think we are anywhere near as bad as Saudi and Chinese tourists for example. Actually let me see I think there was some study on this...
https://www.scmp.com/magazines/post-magazine/travel/article/2102308/who-are-worlds-worst-tourists-six-nations-stand-out
https://www.continentscondiments.com/worlds-worst-tourists-which-nationality-causes-the-most-trouble-abroad/
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-608853/Are-worlds-worst-tourists.html
Huh apparently we are actually pretty bad. Although as I figured, Chinese are ridiculously terrible.
https://www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/2100242/elderly-flight-passenger-throws-coins-engine-luck-delays-take
Holy hell
>>
No. 17546
I've decided to block NSFW sites I access to raise my productivity levels. In accordance with this, the browser will now redirect me to the main page of the English wikipedia.
Should have done this a long ago.

I feel really tired and fed up. I really don't want to study for tests any more. I had a week's worth of tests. I'm sure as hell not going to fucking write another fucking essay and have another fucking exam from history.
Why can't the fucking stop sucking my blood for at least one fucking minute. I'd pay them a hundred dollars to fuck off if I had a hundred dollars. Actually, checking my life savings, I could pay 2.5 people to fuck off, and I can still get a dollar menuBut that's irrelevant and besides the point

HoMM2 isn't fucking working on my fucking computer again for some fucking reason. It freezes as soon as there is some form of graphical change on the map. It makes me sad, honestly. I'll try it running on a virtual machine if I have the time for it. It's just too fucking old for windows 7.

I'm going to turn off the computer for today, then read some short stories in German with a dictionary to practice a bit. Really short stories. Like 1-2 page long ones, so I don't have to look up one too many words while reading.

Another thing I've decided today is that I'll re-read Osamu Dazai's No Longer Human, because why not. It was pretty good the first two times. (It's one of the few books I've re-read)
I'd try the new translation that was released last year, but I don't know if I want to shell out the dosh for it. (I inevitably will because I'm actually curious.)

I honestly want to skip school tomorrow, but I have no good reason to do so.
>>
No. 17547
>>17537
I've found this site: https://www.mongolfood.info/en/recipes/filled-pockets.html

Will try to cook something from there over the coming weeks. Luckily my flat mate is also excited about trying foreign cuisine.
>>
No. 17548
>>17543
>That is almost exactly the concept of tourism in Bavaria
most foreign tourists only visit münchen, neuschwanstein, königssee etc. i've never witnessed this kind of behaviour in spots less visited by foreign tourists, such as garmisch or kempten.
>>
No. 17549
>>17546
>I've decided to block NSFW sites I access to raise my productivity levels.

From my experience this doesn't work. It's actually worse because there is no concious decision to work involved but instead an annoying process of breaking off the lock everytime.

Take a day if you must. You've had an exam so you have ever right to get drunk and do anything but study.
>>
No. 17550
>>17549
Well, I’m going to. I’ll catch up with myself and read some more.
Can’t really drink though. It’s not good for me and I’m forbidden to do so often for medical reasons.

>Breaking the lock
That’s why I made it redirect me to another site. It overrides the whole denial thing.
>>
No. 17552
I did the dishes and some north african kinda meal is cooking on the stove right now.
Hopefully I will continue cleaning the flat during the week.

Regarding blocking porn I'd say it's fine but get some satisfaction every then and now by playing with your fantasy, there is no reason to nofap for a months or longer. Some days of abstinence can be beneficial tho and taking a break from it won't crush your productivity.
>>
No. 17555
139 kB, 800 × 600
46 kB, 330 × 220
47 kB, 720 × 371
>>17543
>I am pretty happy that my region has not much to be exploited in that way.
I have an idea of cheap and easier "Feel yourself a slav"-tour.
>>
No. 17557
>>17555
Why not also sell amanita mushrooms to Westerners too? https://erowid.org/plants/amanitas/
>>
No. 17558
82 kB, 848 × 566
>>17557
I don't think they can be sent with post.
>>
No. 17559
Feeling nowhere near as energized as yesterday at this time after mostly doing editing the whole day, maybe because I've only had some 4 hours of very light sleep during which I had nightmares about some horrendous review study that doesn't even exist. Should've watched something before going to sleep to get my mind off this stuff.
Gonna take an shower now, and set up a timetable for what needs to be done now so I don't waste too much time on minor stuff. Then the only thing I'll have to do tomorrow will be print it and hand it in.
>>
No. 17560
>>17558
I guess it would depend on Russian post then, because it's perfectly legal to buy and ship amanita muscaria and a. Pantherina throughout the United States and EU
https://eternityinabox.com/shop/amanita-muscaria-grade-a-european-caps-fly-agaric/
https://shamansgarden.com/c-767-amanitas.aspx
https://www.iamshaman.com/blog/products/buy-amanita-muscaria/
https://shamanherbs.com/product/amanita-muscaria-fly-agaric-mushrooms/

Apparently Latvian ones are more sought after.
>>
No. 17561
57 kB, 460 × 345
I have to find a small present for my niece. She will be 2 years old. I would really like to gift her a small synthesizer but they are too expensive and she might be a bit too young in that regard. It does not have to be a typical girl present, I think she could also be gifted with what is typically a boys present. She will be gendered by my brother and his wife enough in the following years but I think she does not need another girly plastic trash toy like a plastic kitchen etc.
>>
No. 17563
37 kB, 752 × 626
I can feel myself coming down with a debilitating cold complete with shivers and nausea that gorging myself today didn't help. Unfortunately next week it will be impossible for me to take time off as I'm juggling covering someone on paternity leave, having a big important meeting with a new girl in tow (to show her the ropes), meeting my new boss, putting final touches on his briefing and doing my normal job in-between.

Responsibility is terrible and I'm going to infect so many people ;_;

>>17561
>She will be 2 years old

Literally doesn't matter what you buy her. Get a bear and tell her it will look after her or someshit.
>>
No. 17564
>>17542
I feel the same about tourists here, but also to ones not doing that but instead just acting like enormous wankers who instead of appreciating my home just come here to drink and bed slags. I think it's annoying because they've essentially been invited into your home and then they act inappropriately as guests by either subtly mocking it or by just turning it into a whorehouse.

>>17547
I made something similar to buuz from Brickistan called manty. Breddy good, but I weren't making them pretty or nothing. They had a purely functional form of holding the stuff inside. Baýyrsaq is also ebin, though since I'm pretty unskilled at the food compared to local pros, they were a bit unevenly shaped but still tasty.
>>
No. 17575
>>17563
Fuck it all. I've already spent most of the night in a fever dream filling in some document so that's my work for the day.
>>
No. 17576
Didn't quite manage to completely finish the thesis yesterday and had no energy left so I tried to go to sleep a few hours ago.
Just woke up with a similar dream as mentioned in >>17559 of having missed some important study that would disprove all my work, thinking it was real for a while until realizing that it doesn't exist. Or does it? >:-O
So I did a bit of googling and learned that it's a common phenomenon known as anxiety dreams which are different from nightmares, and to quote wiki:
>Common themes in anxiety dreams involve incomplete tasks.
Well, who would've thought? Crazy how nature do dat sometimes.

>>17575
sleep tight pupper
>>
No. 17579
Welp, that uplifting mood didn't last long, feeling kind of worthless today. At least I cleaned my room.

How did materialism and consequential morality become the overwhelming norm in society.
Talking to regular people is a soul crushing ordeal: none of them believe in virtue, only in not getting punished. It's so easy to fall into the soothing and reassuring lie you tell yourself that "as long as it's not causing harm, it's ok", disregarding the virtue of the act itself. Sure, there are a lot of things I have done and thought that I could hand wave away with that argument, but I refuse to be someone who knowingly excuses his own thought crimes. But the question is, how do I attain redemption and salvation in a Godless world?

Maybe that's why neurotypicals are so happy all the time: they do everything they can to convince themselves that they are not, in fact, guilty of sin simply for existing.
>>
No. 17580
>>17579
I just acknowledge that I'm filth and deal with it. I don't have much in the way of self-esteem anyway so it doesn't hurt.
t. knower pro
>>
No. 17586
Just composed and sent a resume to some job ad related to MySQL.

After sending it, I realized that I should have probably embellished it more, but eh. I mean, I did rephrase some details to be more attractive, but something prevents me from writing outrageous lies even for the sake of getting a job. Must be autism.

Oh well, we'll see how it goes.
>>
No. 17599
>>17579
>they do everything they can to convince themselves that they are not, in fact, guilty of sin simply for existing
Nah, dude, it's the other way around: you have convinced yourself that you are guilty, despite not necessary being guilty. Moreover, for some inexplicable reason not only do you use a concept of the original sin, which doesn't mean much oitside of Christianity doctrine (and even then differs quite a bit between denominations, as far as I know), but you also imposed it upon yourself (convincing people that they are sinners from their very birth in order to make them wörk for their salvation usually was the church's job). You are on the weird side here, not other people.
>>
No. 17601
219 kB, 1500 × 982
>Chechen language is the fifth widespread language in Russia after Russian, English, Tatar and German.
Just in case if anyone doesn't want to study Russian, English, Tatar or German.
>>
No. 17603
61 kB, 550 × 430
Welp, I'm in full meltdown mode now, seeing all the faults with my thesis and haphazardly trying to fix them, possibly making it worse in the process and freaking out about it. Time to take a break.
Technically the deadline is tomorrow but I don't think I can take another inevitable sleepless night so I'll just have to deal with it, slap the bibliography on it, print it out and hand it in I guess.
>>
No. 17610
>>17603
Just email your supervisor saying you have a real bad flu and can't do last minute checking.

t.academia-pro
>>
No. 17611
>>17603
How long did you have to write it and when did you actually start writing? Asking for myself because I've got that shit infront of me.
>>
No. 17613
The funny thing that just happened is that I've double-checked the deadline and it's actually today. I've no more capacities to deal with this, gonna print and hand it in and tell them that the Discussion chapter is still messed up because I assumed the deadline is tomorrow.

>>17610
I guess I now have an almost better legit excuse than you suggested

>>17611
Well way too late of course. But I'll gladly ventshare all my tips in the following days if you are interested
>>
No. 17618
>>17613
Shit, man. Tell us how it goes - personally I still think you want another excuse because blame is assignable to yourself rather than the cruelties of nature.

If it's any benefit: I handed in an essay 2 days late in my final year and the lecturer was just "lol I didn't notice, let's pretend I didn't hear anything". Nobody is going to fuck you in the final year unless you absolutely take the piss and that goes double on your dissertation.
>>
No. 17621
>>17432
There's one other implication here why could some people consider that as a "fact". Finland was part of Russia at some point in her history, Estonia was part of Soviet Union and Hungary was occupied by her. All three countries suffered some level of Russification, we the least with the mandatory Russian language classes (and maybe some minor(?) level Salvo-centric changes in history teaching, from the previous Germano-centrism).
By this some Russian (or someone from the parts of the late Soviet Union) might get the wrong impression and overestimate the number of those who bear some level of Russian knowledge.
>>
No. 17625
>>17621
Honestly, I've met maybe 3 people in my life who spoke Russian. Most just know a random phrase or two and repeat those as ad nauseam to show off. (This goes for most languages.)
>>
No. 17627
56 kB, 583 × 435
>>17560
Real shit? Those shrooms are dangerous and we're taught to stay the hell away from these at all costs. Also the little gray ones. And rich first world hippies dope themselves on these?

t. forest walker and shroom picker
>>
No. 17665
>>17627
Deers eat that to get stoned :D

It's a question of dose. If you would eat them for lunch you would die for sure. If you take them for recreational purpose then I'm not sure how harmful they are.
>>
No. 17667
97 kB, 615 × 960
>>17627
Yes. Yes Latvia I am telling you that you can pick those mushrooms and sell them to first world kids looking to get high and make more money than working IT. Check the prices for dried caps. That is what people will pay you. Apparently the experience isnt too bad either as long as you don't poison yourself.
https://erowid.org/experiences/subs/exp_Amanitas.shtml
So turn off that kettle and start microwaving water son it's time for you to stop being so depressed.
>>
No. 17669
I decided to stay home. I wanted to sleep at least 9 hours, but I woke up after sleeping ~6, exactly at the time around my alarm usually wakes me up.
I read around a 100 pages from Testimony. Not much else. It's a great book. I like it a lot.
I actually had a good discussion on 4chan, what a miracle.

Today the hand blender broke and when I announced it, I was given the reply "Throw it in the bin". But because I'm too Jewish to just throw it out, I took it apart and actually managed to fix it in 5 minutes.
My father was actually amazed when my mother told him, mainly because he considers me a dilettante when it comes to "the real world", and when I jokingly proclaimed I'll become an engineer he said that "You, and engineer? You don't even know how a fuckin' doorknob works!"
A lot of household items are really easy to fix. I remember repairing a stapler at the school library too. For some reason people don't expect me to be someone competent when it comes to things like this.

My stomach hurts a bit. I probably ate too little and that's why.

I'm going to stay home on day more, I've decided.
>>
No. 17671
11 kB, 771 × 656
>>17665
Well considering they use ibotenic acid to create focal brain lesions in neuroscience research I have a feeling that eating A. muscaria might not be the healthiest thing in the world.
>>
No. 17673
325 kB, 522 × 593
>>17671
So can ketamine https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olney%27s_lesions and also a range of things like alcohol.

But ask yourself, would it not be worth it to risk brain damage by drinking a schizophrenic Slav's piss if it could give you visions of God or make you feel like a viking? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amanita_muscaria#Siberia
>>
No. 17674
16 kB, 800 × 781
Cat has been domesticated after an months.
Now it walks up to us on its own volition and wants to get petted. It really likes getting petted, too. Very nice cat.

>>17599
I've come to sympathize with the philosophical parts of christianity, even if the mythology and dogma can be disregarded. I do believe in the original sin, in that a virtuous life takes conscious and willful effort. Morality must be reached and understood with the mind, just like anything else. Acting out of ignorance is sinful in itself, lowering us to the level of beasts, but without the excuse of having no capacity for understanding. And everyone has acted out of ignorance at some point, the guilt of which must be atoned for with purposeful metamorphosis of the self.

If only for the purpose of living an authentic and aesthetic life, rather than simply hiding it from society, believing that if a bear shits in the wood and nobody is there to see it, the poop doesn't stink. I dislike relativism and materialism. I think all ugliness in this world comes from the worship and submitting to the worldly, rather than to the ideal. For example, it might be true that the vanity of sexual promiscuity, is a victimless act, and that the freedom of one's agency over their own body can not be transgressed upon by any mortal human authority, the act in itself is ugly and unaesthetic, simply because the actor, in deciding to elevate and take advantage of their physical appearance, and in some cases even be defined by it, has sacrificed their spiritual identity at the altar of the worldly and bodily. Pride in one's own physical features is an act of dehumanizing oneself. Reducing oneself to its own meat. So is the disparaging of oneself based on one's physical features: if you let the ugliness (same as beauty) of your physical form define your self worth, you have let the materialistic worldview replace your identity with that of your meat.
>>
No. 17680
261 kB, 1039 × 559
>>17671
Lies. It's perfectly safe
>>
No. 17681
128 kB, 570 × 800
>>17667
Imagine being the shaman and seeing your adepts gulp your piss like it's ambrosia and begging for more with doped out ahegao faced expressions.
>>
No. 17682
>>17681
That's some weird fetish for sure.
>>
No. 17683
>>17682
National fetish of siberia and far east natives. Respect their culture pls.
>>
No. 17684
They said they'd interview me on MySQL syntax, and gave me 1 day to prepare (that was yesterday).

Looks like I won't be getting this particular job lads, half a day is not enough time to grind this shit out to be able to answer those kinda questions real time.
Oh well, I have an interview with a call centre job coming up, I'll try that.
>>
No. 17685
58 kB, 187 × 308
>>17683
>and far east natives
OK, now I get it.
>>
No. 17687
I got home from the supermarket and the bread I bought was mouldy. I feel that it's pretty reasonable to expect the food on the supermarket shelf (not in the clearance area) to not be in such a state considering that Australia is supposedly first world.
>>
No. 17689
It feels so weird to be done with all of my exams after spending hours preparing. Actually, that was I lie. Had I spent more time preparing, I would have gotten better results. Well, it doesn't matter now. I can finally kick back, listen to some music, rewatch The man from U.N.C.L.E. for the nth time and do nothing else for an entire month. Actually, I might attempt to finish some of the books I have right now before the next batch arrives. The intersting thing about university is that I don't feel the pointlessness of getting a degree as much when I'm busy as opposed to the times when I have nothing important to do and can therefore spend hours complaining to the voices that exist in my head about coming here.

On a sidenote, I've just picked up my laptopt from a computer repair shop and now have to go through the hassle of reinstalling software and drivers. When you think about it, this is the definition of a first world problem.
>>
No. 17692
>>17687
It might be a german thing, but I'd never buy bread from the super market shelf. Most super markets here have dedicated bakeries near the entrance, but even to them I rarely go because I have a bakery next door that does everything fresh - no retail-bought dough or anything of the sort. The breat, the buns, the cake and all other stuff there is hand made every day. A bit more pricey, but totally worth it if you can appreciate good bread.
>>
No. 17694
52 kB, 443 × 600
>>17618
Managed to hand it in on time yesterday. I guess that's all that really matters.
Was definitely on a tight schedule, arrived at the print shop 10 minutes before it closed and had just enough cash on me to pay for the binding. Thought I'd get a fever but feeling fine now after sleeping some 10 hours

>If it's any benefit: I handed in an essay 2 days late in my final year and the lecturer was just "lol I didn't notice, let's pretend I didn't hear anything".
For dissertations they have some draconian system in place so that you need to hand it in both online and at the department office on time, they check if it's all in order and only then pass it on to the profs

>Nobody is going to fuck you in the final year unless you absolutely take the piss and that goes double on your dissertation.
So what you're saying is that all I'll have to do is complete the ritual of pissing twice on my dissertation and I'll get laid, right?
>>
No. 17703
>>17692
But even premade dough is baked in the supermarket and then put in the shelf everyday. The chance for a moldy bread tends towards zero. It's another case with cut white bread wrapped in plastic, sandwich toast. But then again that's not really bread.
>>
No. 17710
It's dark and cold in my room. I'm listening to some music. I took some Kratom before. Soon it's hopefully all going to fade out. The pain and misery of the last few days, the nightly insomnia and heartache. Especially the heartache.
Sometimes I really wonder myself what happened. Over the course the generations my bloodline has been a very simple one. Electricians, workers, maybe some salesmen. They worked, married and got kids. Now there is me. I only want to know why things are like that. Why am I the person I am? How come both of my grandfathers had no do problems finding a beautiful girlfriend and dealing with her but I suffer with some ungrateful borderline chick that makes me wanna puke out my heart everyday lately (keep in mind that I do love her but I'm not a high quality person either, seems like I've got some of the traits of my mother who suffers from almost paranoic jealousy, even though there is not a big reason to do so. It's weird to see the same thing happen to me in young age without being able to do much about it). I remember stories from my grandfather how he and his friend just used to run to random girls and kiss them on the street. Stories like from another universe. I can't even talk to a random girl at the street, even if I like her apperance. In general I've only seen a guy do it once and I'm pretty sure he was practicing pick-up art.
Well that doesn't matter a lot anyways.
What matters is that she's got an appointment at a therapist right now. I told her that I'd like to talk to her today but she seemed somewhat reluctant. The last couple days she had to help friends with some educational stuff and I think I dealt positively with it but today she has no actual reason to not call me. I was sort of preparing to lose my mind tonight, so I did a pre-emptive strike and took some drugs to calm me down. I was gentle to her throughout the day, so maybe she'll come to her senses and we'll have a cozy night. I tend to be quite controlling so I've been a bot afraid that everything would be too much for her but on the other side I know that this is quite what she wants and needs, that some over-sensitive beta wouldn't even spark her fire.
>>
No. 17711
Did nothing today basically besides reading a bit and listening to a bit of music.
Went to my maths teacher, we didn't study any math. Before we started I asked a question about how Pulsating Direct Current relates to the language of computers and the next thing you know we are discussing the energy policy of Europe, the Kennedy assassination and 9/11.
It was refreshing. Yeah.

I think I'm going to skip school tomorrow too. I'll go to the barber's to reduce the bird's nest that has been growing atop my head. I'm starting to look like some stereotypical character from a 19th century Russian novel with my top coat and long hair.
>>
No. 17715
>>17710
Times have changed, society changed. And your grandpas are probably embellishing their stories.

I always thought jealousy is a mega turn off for most people, nobody wants to be controlled by their partner. Isn't a beta the guy who openly shows that he is afraid of losing his gf because she did not leave a message in 12-24h? Depends on the relationship. Maybe she takes it as a sign of affection, nobody can look into the weird logic multiplicity of the social and psych in the end.
>>
No. 17726
>>17715
Yes, you are right about that and it's a massive weakness of mine. Back when I only had crushes on girls in highschool I'd feel jealous without even talking to them. It's always been there and I never thought about it, it's only now that it collides with reality. I think that a little bit of jealousy is alright and can be productive as long as it is not communicated openly and aggressively. Not being jealous at all might be bad too. Guess once again the healthy way is somewhere inbetween. Sure I don't doubt that I need to work on it. Thing is only I really have no reason at all to be jealous other than the crippling self-hate I developed over the years and my tendency to think badly of me. I look quite swell (maybe not pretty, but I have a rather raw and virile look to me) and I'd have no problem getting another girl. She is attracted to me and knows why. There are a few things unusual about our non-relationship. Non-relationship because it may look like I'd talk about my girlfriend but I am not. But we have a very intense emotional and sexual relationship, even though it's a a rather long distance. We've met over the internet under rather shady circumstances, I won't glorify that. And we've talked to each other anonymously for quite a time before even exchanging numbers. Since a couple of weeks then (and some rather small and one massive fight) we have finally begun to call each other. From then on it escalated quickly, soon we'd talk together every night and it was great. It was really great. I have never felt such an intimate atmosphere like at that point. Also video-calls, she introduced me to her best girlfriend and we spent a night with the three of us and so on. She trusts me and as I said we have a sexual bond as well. Now friday I got idiotically angry (like not really fucking angry, just enough to be hurtful) because of her talking the whole evening to a student working because of a project she helped him with. She did sames yesterdays with other two students who needed her help (she's pretty smart actually). I've made the mistake to ask too much from her and fucked up a bit so this evening once again I thought I'd be done with her but it seems like I'm not. She is mentally ill and on meds, this makes everything more complicated. She is confused about her feelings while I'm madly in love. Fuck, I don't know. I can't let her go at the moment. In the few clear thinking moments I have I think it would be better for me but not necessarily for her. We have talked about a relationship but she thinks that she'd be better off alone at the moment. (By the way, she doesn't fuck around. She is emotionally so distant that the only thing she ever did was a kiss - she has also called herself a lost case) We're pretty much in a relationship even though she doesn't acknowledge it for the sake of whatever. I mean, it's not like we're best friends or anything, best friends don't want to fuck each other usually. Still she wants me to come visit her and is sure about it soo the war isn't lost. It's not lost at all, we had a couple of such throwbacks which mostly only tightened our bonds.
Ah, my heart is bleeding like shit... good I'm drugged so I also feel some euphoria.
What I'm doing probably isn't good for me but her voice has become so natural and essential to me like the air I breath.
At the same time I have the highschool crush girl I told you guys about another time, waiting for me to invite her over which would probably be a way healthier and rational relationship. But my heart is calling me towards the cruelty of war rather than the safety and peace of a well-functioning relationship.
So many things are making sense now since ever I got so close to her, I feel fundamentally changed. The change came so fast, when I think of my former self one year ago, I think of a stranger. Fuck Ernsts, this is a really bad case of intoxication.

Okay, on a more practical note: I've read up a bit about jealousy issues and such before, also about dealing with depressed gf's and I think I know what to do better. Still everything is ridiculously fucked. Guess I'll just try to make it work that I can finally visit her so that she can get some real physical intimacy. (Well, it seems to be a little problematic when such things lack in a relationship. It's bad for both of us, because one of the most importants parts is just missing and you can't touch the other through video).

What a wild day once again.
>>
No. 17729
>>17726
Addendum:
I think I definitely fucked it up this time. I really did. I don't know how to get over all this shit. I'm on the verge of losing my mind. I need to sleep. I got important work to do in the following week so there is no space for me to recover in peace. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. I should have never played with the fire. But I wanted to feel love for at least once and now I feel like I've pushed her too much. I'm a literal fucking autist. I struggle to think about anyone else. This is the sad and banal truth. I'm only interested in my own lust and my own pleasure. For my whole life I've been this way. She liked me and we could have taken it slow and good but no, I was getting so obsessed with her that I wanted to speak every fucking day. I mean this is utterly stupid, I even neglected my own needs, friends, hobbies etc. in this time. Talking to her was the only thing which really mattered at the end of the day. She went to sleep but I told her in a voice message that we're going to tone down a bit on the phone calls, so both of us have some space for themselves. Just now I even think that it would be better to end this but how am I supposed to? How am I supposed to end all this shit when I now know what it feels like to have a woman's affection on your side? To listen to her voice and talk about the day's troubles and the night's lusts? Times have changed, yes. Nowadays people listen to fucking ASMRs or youtube streams to feel somewhat comfortable in their loneliness. What am I going to do if I "leave" her? Just go back to the state I was in before I got to know her? I can't imagine. Fuck, it's been one month we've done this (we've known each other for half a year before we started calling) and I just realized that it was just one fucking month. It felt like we've done this for a hundred years this way. What did I spent my nights like before her? I will do everything to make things better but it feels like it's just over. It's all over. But it's not. Even if I feel like it is, I'll at least go and fucking visit her.
>>
No. 17730
>>17729
Stop blaming yourself so much, it really doesn't help anyone. In any case, you should try to sleep over it and think about it in a more calm state. I can't relate too well but it sounds like it would do you good to get some distance unless you're a masochist. It's really not the end of the world even if it might seem so at the moment.
>>
No. 17731
Last addendum:
Years over years of solitude and giving up on myself. Then suddenly a thunder, a flash in the darkness. Realizing that I can be charming if I want to, that I can be comforting and that I can be caring. But all of this came down on me like an avalanche. Years of either escapism or drug/alcohol abuse to put me to sleep, then suddenly her voice. Her sweet, often vulgar voice. Her laughter and stupid little jokes. The cozy atmosphere. Whenever I felt fucked up because of external reasons I knew she'd be there and I could just listen to her. And as ridiculous as it might sound, I felt like a man for the first time in my life. For the first time in my life I could grasp the meanings of love-poems, which I then recited loudly in my room because of finally realizing their beauty. For the first time in my life I got what people were talking about when talking about love. Such a sweet voice, every most beautiful song paled in comparison. But it wasn't good from on the start. I've should have known that it would be an idiotic idea to try to get with a girl so mentally scarred. I had a couple of friends for whom it was terrible. I've read about such cases on the internet a thousand times but still I couldn't help but try. Even more so it seemed like a chance. I thought I'd be alright, I thought I'd somehow be able to change things but no. It all doesn't make sense anymore, Ernst. Maybe it isn't even over, I remember I thought so before but this time it seems kind of obvious. And the worst thing is that I am the one ending it because of my immature and selfish behaviour.
>>
No. 17732
>>17730
>>17730
Yes, I know. But what does distance mean? Can mutual feelings be like re-activated after some time? I really need to calm down. I will try now. I know I'll need some time to fall asleep, the last couple of days I had lasting insomnia because of all this.

Okay I will try to write down what is probably going to happen tomorrow without going deeper down the hole of my thoughts: I will wake up and probably she'll say that it's alright and we'll do it the way I wish. Then I will do the stuff I'll have to do and later that day we will speak to each other, like we didn't have the opportunity to do so since friday. Then I'll realize that she is still the same person as before and once again my mind just played tricks one me. I'll tell her that not only to her it was too fast but for me as well and that that's the reason why I struggled to deal with not being able to talk to her. Then I'll get through the following week, letting her some space and myself too. I'll be at my families home and prepare for an important test (yes I am the college dropout public service applicator). Things will even out. Maybe we'll talk once then. Finally around 7th of february I will take the bus to her and maybe I will realize that we're not just made for each other. But maybe we'll finally be laying side by side at the end of the day. Ovid wrote that the man who travels far for his love can be sure of her thankfulness and affection. Let's hope that the old fucker was right. And if not, I'll finally be free of her spell. My life will be uneventful once again but I'll have learned a lot about myself. The experience was worth it. With the energy and new free time I'll have then I will write and care for myself and work on myself. I will let the summer come and here and there I will look out for a girl that seems interesting. Maybe I'll invite my old highschool crush over and I'll take her to the botanical gardens and later on we'd drink together with my friends. Maybe I will have strengthened the bond with an not-so-close friend, maybe there will be more. However I will not rush into anything - now I know that I'm just human as well and able to find love. I will sometimes miss her and look back at the short, weird time together but ultimatively I'll be happy that I moved on.

Good night everyone.
>>
No. 17744 Kontra
Could some mod please delete my insane love rantings? I'm pretty sure all of this doesn't really belong here and it seems like I just had a really fucked up manic episode including drugs and destroying tight-knit human bonds last night. I've written so much shit tonight that I should have rather spend my energy literally shitposting on kohl instead of harrassing my non-gf. However I wrote her an excuse letter with clear informations about what I did and why I did it, maybe she'll forgive me at this level of devotion. At least I really hope so. If not I'll know that I have tried at least. If it works out I'll keep a bit more distance now.

Please just let this single post stay here to remind me of the mess I made and that it's a hilariously bad idea to fuck with drugs when you're not emotionally stable and struggling with romantic issues.
>>
No. 17745
>>17730
Good advice. I'm not into reading walls of text right now after waking up. Sleep over it, yes. Then you can only find out what is going on by things happening not by racing speculation. I can relate to a point. When I had to spent my first nights without my gf, it felt so shit and forever alone again. Sadly nothing changed in seven month and the smiles from a female classmate killed me on Monday. You don't meet a woman that is beautiful, intelligent and more deeply interested in philosophy/sociology/literature that often.

Whatever happens tho, it's not the end of the world. I see woman being interested in me to a certain extent, what I do with this is a different story but opportunities are there and will be for you. That does not mean btw, that I forgot my gf or that I don't absolutely love her anymore. I still do but I also know it does not work, in her presence it's a different thing than in your mind.
>>
No. 17747
Found out earlier today that my father was sent to a rehab centre in the countryside after drinking for three weeks straight. Well, there goes another year without seeing him. The saddest part is, he had already spent a year there in the past and nothing came out of that but apparently the people who run the place have managed to convinced his gullible mother that the treatment, which, from what I've heard consists of making the patients live in gulag tyre conditions for months, will definitely work this time around.
I wish I could somehow help him. I wish I could...
>>
No. 17748
I’m trying to learn French but I’m so god damn stupid. It’s infuriating. Day has been good so far though.
>>
No. 17759
>>17747
Alcoholics need some encouragement but also have to want to quite on their own. Treatment is useless if it's forced on them because they'll just start drinking again anyway. Plus it sounds like the program is shit to begin with.
>>
No. 17760
>>17561
Coloured pens, pencils, paper, books, big cuddly toy.
However buy a mini white board, she'll love it.
>>
No. 17761
>>17760
They have reversible blackboard/white board, free standing for toddlers which is great and they can paint on it.
2 years might be too young but it GOAT present for that age, or wait until they are three.
>>
No. 17763
Last class for this semester.

Two papers, one 4-5page essay and another 5 pages to write for another relevant grade task. Many more books on my private list, too many and approx. two months for all of this.

I will give my niece some of my old Playmobil as present. Is Playmobil a thing outside of Germany? I vaguely recall reading/grasping it's made in Germany.
>>
No. 17768
I got a haircut today. I also read a lot.
Turns out I didn't miss much of school this week, because they had shortened classes because of the midterms. So basically who gives a fuck.
Gonna go in tomorrow though.

Browsed some online antiquaries today. None of them had what I was looking for. (Reading about Shostakovich has opened up a treasure trove of "Modern" Russian/soviet literature that I feel I have to explore a bit.)
I also want to read The Lay of Igor, but they only have a really rugged copy for sale. I opted to read and English translation done by Nabokov. (Though I'm really reluctant to read Russian works in English for some strange reason.)
>>
No. 17772
I was off sick this week but came in today because I had a big important meeting with a pseudo-underling in tow. It's even part of the argument of why I took Tuesday off so I could be as recovered as possible and had made that clear. Still, management had sent a more senior colleague in as a last minute addition without even informing me leading to an awkward moment in the morning.

It was hard not to lose my rag over such an attack on my authority and the assumption that I wouldn't have come in. It's my train-set but of course now I'm getting told what to do with it because I'm not the biggest authority. Even getting 'advice' when I'm doing things my way. Maybe it is childish but then it seems like I'm being treated like a child.

>>17684
>call centre job

Oh dog you'd had better prepared for that other interview. Call centre work is the strongest argument I've yet seen that civilisation was a mistake.

Seriously, fuck call centre work. I'd rather go down a mine.

>>17763
Playmobil is what old people like to buy kids. Think about how shit it is beyond making a nice display.
Aside from the pirate ship
>>
No. 17775
>>17772
>Playmobil is what old people like to buy kids. Think about how shit it is beyond making a nice display.

Hey, I always liked Playmobil. Do kids today even play with this stuff when they are 8 or older?
She will be fine receiving one of my old cars and some figures. Also I think Playmobil is quite stable and not super cheap plastic toy shit with zero effort in it. I cannot say what is up with new Playmobil, obviously.

t. had a pirate ship, whom my brother was a former owner, and many more.
>>
No. 17779
>>17775
>Also I think Playmobil is quite stable and not super cheap plastic toy shit with zero effort in it.

It was literally made and became popular in response to the oil crisis and it's resultant shortage in plastics. I'll let the New Yorker article that convinced me explain though:
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-playmobil-conundrum
>>
No. 17781
>>17779
The article is good

>What child, after all, would want to play with a Playmobil Hazardous Materials Team set (with respirators and hazmat suits), a Playmobil Airport Security Checkpoint (with metal detector and luggage X-ray machine), or a Playmobil Woodshop Class (with a bearded teacher overseeing two children with saws and a drill press)?

Well, I enjoyed playing real life like most more serious boys. Sure, Lego is way more modular and better for your fantasy but my niece just got 2 and Lego might be too dangerous with its tiny parts. But even with Playmobil I recall having non-sterile scenarios. I could have a shooting at a camp side with western secnario guns but german police cars.
As the articles states:

>This type of unscripted play is very good, for children and the culture. Playmobil may hold tighter to ideals of independent, imaginative narrative play, and it represents a less crass, less marketed, less ironic or knowing type of play.

I wasn't even aware of Lego has adopted this pop cultural frame in such a massive way.

>“Playmobil is great.” Then he became wistful. “I like to think about Playmobil,” he said. “They were a big part of my childhood.”

And I also think Playmobil is just for a short span in a childhood. Kindergarden and a few years more at best.

I wouldn't buy my niece Playmobil if she was 13.
>>
No. 17783
132 kB, 871 × 900
Feeling a strong 5 today after a bottle of red and some painkillers yesterday
Sorted through some old writings and notes, threw some away and put the more interesting into a folder today
Read one chapter of the Iliad, more was impossible due to the spicy talons piercing my heda

>>17747
That's sad to hear dude
It gives me motivation to stay sober today though
>>
No. 17811
>>17772
Don't worry, I got an anxiety episode for some reason and didn't go.

Tbh I'd rather get a job that requires skill, even if it pays the same. Well the call centre was some outsourced thing where they were looking for english speakers, but still fuck that, I hate talking.
>>
No. 17835
83 kB, 488 × 650
Today was okay. I actually went in.
They gave me my midterm evaluation finally.
If you don't mind, I'll write it out:
>Literature 5(Outstanding)
>Hungarian Language 5(Outstanding)
>English Language 5(Outstanding)
>German Language 5(Outstanding)
>Ethics 5(Outstanding)
>History 5(Outstanding)
>Mathematics 4(Good)
>Biology 4(Good)
>Physics 3(Average)

Read a short story by Mikhail Zoschenko at the library. They had no individual volumes by him, but there was this one story. It was funny. I liked it.
They fucked up my schedule completely. I'll have a much harder time reworking my translation now. I'll probably start drinking coffee and working on it at home.
I have tomorrow off.

Told my music teacher that I've read Testimony. She is probably most displeased with the fact that I keep rubbing this wound, caused by her lack of knowledge on Shostakovich, with salt. It's impolite, but I can't help myself.

Apparently my ethics essay was really good. Readable, factual, on topic, interesting.

And I also managed to spend all the fucking money I stockpiled for books on books. Time to have a cup of something to crown this poor existence.
>>
No. 17856
755 kB, 280 × 215, 0:06
So there's 1000 dollars lying around. It's enough to buy a car from a country "that no longer exists". However I should calculate how many taxes I should pay and how much money would go for repairs and such. Maybe it is cheaper to invest into more modern car.
>>
No. 17860
>>17835
Why are you such a failure at maths and physics? Did your family already disown you?
>>
No. 17861
>>17856
That could be enough to have a car for about three years or even more. If they don't screw you and it actually is a piece of junk. Do you know anything about cars? The good thing about old cars is, that you can usually see if there is something wrong with them and only need a couple of more or lesss common tools to fix them. Also if it was made in your neck of the woods it should be easier to get scrap parts, than if you bought a car from America or Germany.
>>
No. 17862
So, I went to the call centre.

It's worse than I though, lads. It's not a support call centre, it's an outsourced sales department call centre for online shops. And their chief business model is peddling additional products to the customer, along with the stuff they wanted to buy initially.
Basically the job consists of being that annoying fucker who wastes your time trying to get you to buy useless shite when you just wanted to ask some questions or buy something and get it over with.

The pay depends on how much useless junk you manage to peddle each month. At least it's not a blatant scam, but I dunno lads. On another hand, the office is in the good part of town, the schedule is flexible, and if they pay as expected, there's bonuses for taking a graveyard shift.

But it's a soul crushing shit peddler call centre job where you have to recite blurbs from a document like a robot. I dunno man, I'm pretty desperate at this point.
>>
No. 17863
>>17862
>I'm pretty desperate at this point.
Take the job. At least you get paid and can save some money while looking out for something better and then move on. This way you at least have some work experience to show for when applying for the next better thing. Working in sales, even if it is the most shoddy job in the world, might open up doors. I have done much worse shit in my time and there is always something to take away from it.
>>
No. 17864
>>17862
Like I always say, I think I've even told you this before. Can't eat dignity. If you're in need of the money, you do what you have to do. It's when you have something to sit on that you can afford to get picky. I don't know what your situation is beyond the general 'not great', so I can't really give you a specific answer tailored to your exact financial position, but holding down a shit job until you find something better is a pretty standard MO I think. I can understand your concern though. Marketing is incredibly unaesthetic and since telemarketing is more obnoxious than retail/hospitality, I can only imagine that the verbal abuse you'd get would make my bad customers look like saints.
>>
No. 17865
>>17860
I already handed in my resignation at the Office of Life and bid everyone farewell.

Truth is, I never had any interest in the subjects, and my teachers were always bad/mediocre. Not to mention they always said that my talents lie with languages and history, so they pushed me in that direction and said that it's a forgivable sin to be merely okay at those subjects.

Anyway, it's not a bad result if we don't count the fact that I botched the biology test.
>>
No. 17870
>>17863
>>17864
Yeah, I'm already willing to take whatever comes my way.
The part I'm unsure about is the one where the pay depends on how much you sell. The question is, will I be able to get by simply making polite offers, or will I have to be a cut throat shit peddler just to earn a minimum wage.

I'm probably going to go along with it, unless a better opportunity comes up. I'm awaiting a call from a typography regarding a design / print operator job, and I'd much rather take that tbh. "Designer" sounds a lot better than "call center operator", even if the "designer" job consists of making banners for high school holiday fairs.
>>
No. 17879
7 kB, 242 × 208
I finished reading The Procession Of The Simulakra by Jean Baudrillard with a friend. It took us quite an amount of time to live/close-read thru approx. 60 pages. At this point I'm not really sure what and why he wrote but I have understood some parts and these are the most important and core thoughts of his simulation theory, at least.
>>
No. 17883
>>17879

Ah, I've wanted to read that for some time now because I only know the ideas through secondary sources but I've found them quite impactful.

How did you go about reading it together with a friend? Never read anything together with someone and can't really imagine what you mean.
>>
No. 17884
359 kB, 676 × 581
Is it possible to learn to code if I'm already 21 and have never ever?
>>
No. 17885
Well, tomorrow was rather empty. Woke up with a bit of a headache, but I slept for what felt like an eternity thanks to the alcohol. I felt energized after a 7 hour sleep. But I forgot where I put my glasses before I went to bed, so I spent a good 5 minutes looking for it and panicking that I've lost it. It was atop a stack of books, but not the stack I usually put it on.

I slogged through Nabokov's translation of The Song of Igor's campaign. The worst epic I've read yet.
Wanted to play some Homm2, but I just couldn't get in the mood.

Failed to do anything else of note.
>>
No. 17886
546 kB, 620 × 846
>>17883
Well, it's a classic reading groupwe've been more people but apparently nobody is interested in Baudrillard as the two of us, we like this kind of theory and also the newer stuff which does not resonate that much with the more classic leftist/marxists theory and the classic academical political theory, from where the others were "raised", that is my impression. I don't know how others do it. But Peter Gente the founder of the Merve Verlag said in an interview, that they read the Anti-Oedipus by Deleuze/Guattari aloud and everybody could join in with his/her knowledge. So when we were a bigger group we still read our stuff at home and talked about it the other day, but it often did not work out because people did not read the text etc. I then stumbled upon the Peter Gente interview and thought it was a brilliant idea, to just read it "live" and discuss it. And fuck yeah, it's so much better, we read paragraph for paragraph aloud, discuss each, was is said, what do we understand, how is it connected to other parts of the text/argument or thinkers/theory we've read or heard of. And most importantly, what did we/I not understand and can the other explain it to me?

It takes time to read like that but it's fruitful and worth the effort.

Baudrillard is quite a mindfuck and we had problems understanding it all or grasp the essay as a whole, but you get the thesis and some arguments he makes when it comes to the simulation. He often times has examples for what he says also in an abstract way. His language is apocalyptic or dramatic which can fool you.it's also because he is one of the postmodern end of history guys, since the simulation is an endless circulation where all events happening, even the cold war are just "strategies of the real" that cover that nothing is real anymore, that means that no sign (Zeichen...Zeichentheorie, Signifikation, Repräsentation, als Stichworte, falls dir das nichts sagt) has a reference on something real, everything is based on models (signs that refer to signs created at some point)... a small example would be hollywood films that are models for love/relationship And the translation is not very good in some parts, but perhaps the original is equally strange. das Nukleare bezieht sich auf Atomwaffen z.B.
>>
No. 17887 Kontra
>>17885
>Tomorrow
I really should pay more attention to my writings.
>>
No. 17888
>>17884
People learn foreign languages in older ages, and yet you ask about programming one.
>>
No. 17890
Is it possible to compare natural languages and programming languages in this manner?
>>
No. 17891
Today I got a very nice tax rebate I didn't even know about, work was spent hanging with senior management solving things and the colleague from >>17772 messing with my train-set got btfo from multiple angles. I'm especially proud that after I gave her a dressing down my opposites we were dealing with also told her to fuck off as I'm their guy.

Today was a good day.

>>17779
>>17781
Maybe our reading club can get properly started by discussing long-form articles?

>>17862
>The pay depends on how much useless junk you manage to peddle each month. At least it's not a blatant scam

Sales 101: The prerequisite number of sales to get the bonus goes up and up the more you sell.

As someone who used to work in sales I can absolutely tell you that it's hell but then I agree with the others that we've all got bills to pay. Just do everything possible to get out of it ASAP before you become suicidal.

Does Kazakhstan have much of a banking industry? That's worth a look for a low-entry career with a good pay-check and conditions.
>>
No. 17892
>>17891
>Maybe our reading club can get properly started by discussing long-form articles?

Maybe. I'm all in discussing stuff, especially cultural phenomena. If you are also alluding to my post above that deals with reading Baudrillard, I would also discuss paragraph by paragraph such texts no books tho, only longer essays I'd say, posting a paragraph, discuss it, post the next etc.
BUT
a)my English is not sufficient enough to really speak about the text I think I'm willing to try nonetheless
b)finding a common denominator regarding texts choice is difficult I guess
>>
No. 17893
>>17890
It's rather about learning something new.
If you really want to learn something - you'll do it.
If you don't really want it - you gotta be slacking.
Look at Hungaryball. He's pretty fast and enthusiastic in studying Shostakovich's biography, translating and such.
You either have interest or need to learn something, or you don't.
So there is nothing impossible.
>>
No. 17899
82 kB, 685 × 467
I'm somehow only just now realizing how fucked up I am, and I don't even understand why. I've cut off all friendships and relationships and don't even feel the need or impulse for them. I actually used to get really lonely sometimes. Now I pretty much just feel...like nothing. A non, a not thing. Things I used to cherish I threw away and my brain is so fucked I can't even truly remember or understand why I did all that. I used to be on the phone with people like every day. I don't think I've actually had a real phone call with a friend in a year at least, and haven't had sex in years and barely even am dimly aware of the impulse for intimacy. It feels almost like a part of my brain got completely destroyed years ago.
>>
No. 17907
>>17899
Similar settis.
Feels like some part of my brain has rotted away and I lost my previous identity with it. Things I used to get excited about, I don't even remember any more. At this point I just want to get a job and live the rest of my life in relative comfort, without ambition or pretense for accomplishing anything. Maybe the systematic conditioning into a soulless drone is finally complete.
>>
No. 17937
>>17886
Interesting, thanks. I might try this reading together aloud with a friend.

Which translation of Simulakra did you read? I guess there is more than one available.
>>
No. 17948
4,7 MB, 57 pages
>>17937
>which translation

His translation theory is layed out in different books and publications. Der symbolische Tausch und der Tod symbolic exchange and death from the 70s is the initial book from him that has the simulation theory in it. However, since a book was too much for the rest of the semester we still had when we choose Baudrillard, we read The Procession of the Simulakra, in German Präzession der Simulakra it's an essay. The German version can be found within Agonie des Realen by Merve Verlag from 1978.

I attached the pdf, I scanned for my friend, the underlinings are not from me but a former owner btw.
>>
No. 17949
>>17948
Wanna add: The essay is a sum of the simulation theory from symbolic exchange and death. And the Merve Verlag underlined words/phrases itself which they thought are important it seems.
>>
No. 17951
>>17948
Thanks for the PDF. I did a quick search because I hoped there would be a print by Anaconda, but apparently Baudrillards essay hasn't been in print for a long time by any publisher.
>>
No. 17954
321 kB, 550 × 364
Does anyone have any interesting books on the occult?
>>
No. 17958
>>17951
You will certainly find English publications at libgen, I could imagine.
>>
No. 17959
1,2 MB, 798 × 737
So I bought sausages partly with soya protein.
I am not sure now which sausages are better - ones with meat byproducts or just with soya. They add chicken in beef/pork sausages, but I don't want chicken.
It's a difficult choice, for sure.
>>
No. 17971
95 kB, 345 × 714
>>17954
I'm not big on occultism, but do you know this channel: https://www.youtube.com/themodernhermeticist
I've mostly listened to his historical podcasts but he seems to have lots of lectures that deal specifically with the occult and occult books as well.
>>
No. 17974
>>17954

There is some occult stuff in the The All-Embracing Library torrent:

magnet:?xt=urn:btih:488eb9134190440bbf1e77929754321c85a24c72&dn=The+All-Embracing+Library&tr=udp://tracker.openbittorrent.com:80&tr=udp://open.demonii.com:1337
>>
No. 17990
Today I wanted to edit and study, but I woke up with a not so terrible but irritating cold that keeps disrupting me. In hindsight I must congratulate myself for being diligent and completing my notes on Ruslan and Ludmila yesterday, otherwise I might have left them unfinished indefinitely, and I hate doing that, because it's a slog to return to.
I could work on stuff, but it wouldn't be effective work, and I hate correcting myself. Do it right once.

I'm rummaging the house to find a laptop bag, because I have to bring my laptop with myself to school tomorrow, but I have too many books, so it can't reasonably fit in my regular bag. I fucking despise the new schedule they gave us. At least I can leave two hours earlier on Wednesdays. So I go home early, and can work then at least. Don't know about Mondays. I have two empty classes next to each other, but no library. So I'll have to look for a power outlet, and if I can't find one in a secluded place, I don't know what I'll do. Maybe I'll pester the vice-principals so they open the library for me or some shit. I'm beyond mad.

Tomorrow will be a long fucking day. I'll be having extra history classes and I'll have to go into the city centre to pick up some of my packages.
Can't believe it took me such a short time to burn through 13 Euros. I hate myself for it.
>>
No. 18009 Kontra
728 kB, 917 × 2017
>11:30 PM Sunday, Greenwich Mean Time (GMT)

If any of you Europeans are night owls and would like to join us for watching the Finale of the American Football season please join. Streams will be provided, you may or may not need an American VPN to watch it, however.

Thing will be casual, but professional. Feel free to ask questions but ABSOLUTELY NO shitpostings will be tolerated. Independent /sp/ is a vary serious board.
>>
No. 18013
>>18009
I'm American and I don't watch that shit. Back when I was like, 13 14 or so and a idiot, I believed the manly thing to do was to smoke, drink whiskey, eat steaks, and watch football. I will not comment on the others except to say they are unhealthy and dumb, but I could never get into football nor comprehend why anybody fucking cared so much or was entertained. It was literally 1 minute of actual play followed by tons of commentary and then interrupted by 5 minutes worth of commercials. Football was the dumbest fucking thing I ever forced myself to watch and try to get into. I felt like I was trying to watch some kind of shitty soap opera. I'd say Wrestling, except watching the pretty gay antics of oiled muscly men in tights squeeze and threaten each other could actually be entertaining and had some action no matter how bydlo it was. I think that in general it is difficult to care about sports or watch them, but I cannot get into football unless there is some kind of tribal bonding thing I am missing. Like maybe having a dozen of your friends together watching it might be entertaining since at least most of the time you are paying attention to your friends.

Not to sound like I am shitting all over your nice invite, I just cannot for the life of me understand why so many Americans get heated by this.
>>
No. 18015
>>18013
>drink vodka, eat shashlik, and watch handeggfootball.
Sounds absolutely Russian to me, bratishka.
>>
No. 18020
>>18015
I actually unironically switched to vodka because whiskey is fucking disgusting and then I became an alcoholic. I used to drink massive amounts of vodka, brandy, and cognac when I could afford it because I also found out I could drink tons of it and not get a hangover like whiskey, rum, tequila etc. I almost entirely drank vodka ultinately.
>>
No. 18023
32 kB, 369 × 283
>>17971
Listening to his lectures now and it's very good even though I have little interest in the occult. I liked his talk about mystery cults and their relationship with the rise of individualism following Alexander's conquests.
>>
No. 18025
Well, while I'am not drinking alchogol at all, I recently even ended with drinking soda - coca-cola, 7up, sprite, fanta, mirinda, moutian dew - I found out that I don't want any of things like this anymore. I mostly drink juice or other things, something soft.
>>
No. 18026
>>18009
I could be interested. Which ones are the losers who are only there because of ref-bias?

Will there be American commercials?

>>18013
>I cannot get into football unless there is some kind of tribal bonding thing I am missing

I think there is. Big sporting events especially have a good deal of banter and memes to them that go hand in hand with tribalism culture. Back when I lived with my parents I'd even watch American football with my dad and try to make sense of it.
>>
No. 18030
>>18013
lol dude you're the one getting heated wow holy fucking shit go see a shrink man goddamn
>eating steaks drinking whisky
that shit's a meme and it's easy to fall for when you're younger the fact that you're bitter about it is odd.
as for American football it's fun to watch and the superbowl is a spectacle and the only American sport that comes down to one game and isn't a 7 games series like the other 3 major sports.

>>18026
Usually it's the Patriots there because of the refs but they are their pretty cleanly this year so it would appear.
The rams got a bullshit call in their favor to beat the Saints two weeks ago.
>>
No. 18032
>>18030
I'm not getting heated I am simply saying that it's shit and I have no idea why people like watching it. And I'm not bitter about anything just noting that even as a teenager I thought it was pretty retarded while trying to force myself into and as an adult I realized I was retarded for bothering. I'm not sure how you interpret "bitterness" since it's no skin off my back. I simply ignore it.

>as for American football it's fun to watch and the superbowl is a spectacle and the only American sport that comes down to one game and isn't a 7 games series like the other 3 major sports.
Like I said I personally just think it's boring af. And it's loaded with stupid commercials which becomes a spectacle in itself, which afaik a lot of people end up watching just for the unique commercials which I also don't care about. At least something like basketball is genuinely entertaining to watch. And lastly https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDW0IE-EgCs lol
>>
No. 18033
>>18030
>The rams got a bullshit call in their favor to beat the Saints two weeks ago.

Ah, that's the one I was thinking of. I've put £20 on Rams to make it interesting :^)
>>
No. 18046
My niece liked the Playmobil tho her motor skills aren't developed enough to place a figure behind the wheels of the cars I gifted to her or put on the roof of the police car properly, the back seat placing works fine at least and she does not get super frustrated every time.

After the birthday I went to university to scan some 600 pages because somebody else writes a paper on Rainald Goetz plays, it seems. Otherwise I could not explain why somebody wants all of these books all at once, the deadline for giving it back to the library stock due to reservation is tomorrow.

Spring break will start tomorrow as well, gonna read the play I'm writing a paper on and some maybe some article on Hobbes or Bodins theory of the state.
>>
No. 18050
30 kB, 200 × 174
I wanted to watch the Handegg match but found out that it is shown here on a station which requires you to register an account if you want to see the stream. Now I am undecided if I should look for another stream out there or just do something else and then go to sleep.
I mean literally how retarded is it, that they ask for a registration to watch a stream that has fucking ads in it all the time anyway. I am a little upset I must admit. Who makes such shit up.
>>
No. 18052
>>18050
without having any clue, I'd say data mining. If it requires just an email and an address, use one of those 10min mail things with an address from you city.
>>
No. 18055
>>18050
Why would you watch a local stream? Half the fun is seeing American adverts - especially the weird superb owl ones. r/nflstreams

I might watch the first half-hour unless Rams put on a good show. How many people watching do we have?
>>
No. 18056
>>18055

Just checking out r/nflstreams
>>
No. 18057
>>
No. 18058
>All that exaggerated singing of the national anthem

Absolutely baffling.

Fucking hell do I want to order a pizza but it's 45 mins for delivery. Do I commit to having a shit day at work tomorrow?
>>
No. 18060
So they made a few meters and now they are stuck...
>>
No. 18061
>>18060
>meters
sorry, yards of course
>>
No. 18065
451 kB, 446 × 595
>Still 0-0

I tried. Goodnight all.
>>
No. 18067
>>18057
Thanks, looks good. I decided to not watch but suddenly thought I could at least look into the halftime show. Now I just learned that it will be Maroon5, wtf? Are they still going? I haven't heard anything from them in years and never had the impression they were big enough to get such a gig.

>>18055
>Why would you watch a local stream?
Because I know so little about the game and the German commentators usually explain details I wouldn't understand from watching the American stream because there they do not need to tell their audience what is going on on the field.

So it is just 3-0 at halftime? It looks like I didn't miss much so far.
>>
No. 18070
>>18067
>Maroon5, wtf? Are they still going?
I think Adam Levine's work outside of the band has helped their longevity.
>It looks like I didn't miss much so far.
Not much has happened outside of the Patriots short passing game. The Rams offense has been non-existant but their defense has made just enough plays to keep it close. If they don't come out of the half playing better then I fear for Britballs £20 from >>18033
>>
No. 18071
>>18050
poor Jessica she looks so sad
>>
No. 18072
>>18070
Well, the show was a bit underwhelming and the rappers felt out of place. The lanterns/drones were a nice touch though.

If handegg is anything like football the rams shouldn't forget that the match isn't over until the final whistle blows, or like a famous German football coach once said "A match lasts 90 minutes".
>>
No. 18075
Soo, Ernst here who have had trouble with the girl lately. After days of shared misery I finally told her that we're going to need some distance. It's the first time I feel like I did something right since the day I lost her. I honestly can't say if she'll come back or not, I feel like she won't because I went too far with everything. It will be hard as fuck for me now, but at least things are clear. Also I talked to friends and family about it which helped a lot too.
>>
No. 18077
>>18075
Honestly lad I have concluded that my original observation and opinion in high school was right: why do people get into relationships if then all they do is complain about them to me? Relationships don't seem like the bother.

And most of the time they truly aren't. You're probably going to meet one special girl in your life and if you don't marry her then you're screwed. I'd say about 90% of relationships are just not worth the fucking time and effort. If you're not a slave to sex like a drug addict then it's just not worth it. Friendships are far, far more gratifying and useful on almost every level. The amount of mental, emotional, physical, and again psychological effort it takes to maintain a relationship is incredible, like having a full time job that taxes you at every possible level. And at the end of the day, almost all of them will become strangers again at some point. I think that if you truly try and maintain them you can keep some pretty cherished and valuable friendships after the fact, but judging by all of what you said it sounds like the relationship itself was wrong and a complete disaster for you.

tl;dr you made the right choice
>>
No. 18085
>>18033
sorry boss not like it's a ton of money to be out at least
>>
No. 18086
>>17748
French is an easy choice for English speaking people. I'd say, sometimes I have a hard time thinking of German synonym in English instead of word of French origin.
>>
No. 18095
>>18075
>but at least things are clear

Relieve.

>>18077
Relationships are an intensive experience, why should I dismiss it, when it feels right in the moment? Friends become strangers at some point too, all too often.
>>
No. 18104
Today is pretty fucking windy. I still feel sick. During the night I was shifting between different unpleasant dreams about Russian poets, writers and music, rethinking the same historical data over and over. Second case of having incoherent dreams like this. (I'd say they are fever dreams, but I have no fever, thankfully.)
I felt so bad that I stayed home. I have no idea where I managed to catch this cold.
Though I still took the bus into the city and picked up my package, because I was afraid they'd ship it back if I wait until Wednesday.
I've already missed so many schooldays this year. The fact that I've been out of school the past two weeks will have a considerable negative impact on me.
>>
No. 18111
67 kB, 479 × 370
After feeling great and getting lots done in the last two months I'm back in the dark molasses of depression.
I probably need to either get a job and/or apply for a Master's degree asap. Though my initial research didn't turn up anything too promising. I guess I'll just try to move to some decent big city like Vienna, rake in the student bux and get by studying the bare minimum and pursuing more interesting projects on the side.
Too bad that every little effort feels about 10 times harder than it should. I hope I can get this resolved without resorting to pharmaceutical means but if this goes on for another week I'm not so sure.
>>
No. 18112
>>18111
How old are youagain(?)?

Both job or master sound like you just need a structure so you avoid the abyss created by slacking. Better get a job first and take in some research on how to go on before you go head over heels studying in Vienna rather pointlessly.

---

It's the first day of spring break and I already panic that I won't make it, writing two good papers. Organization is king, so far I just miss enough time for all that shit, I want to do.

I often have to think about what to after my bachelor, just like our bavarian ernst, I want to move but I also have to acknowledge the it brings a lot of fear with it. Will I find new people, am I person one can hang out with well I have friends but I'm not sure if I would be able to make new ones, wtf. So far I less and less see people
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No. 18115
>>18112
>Better get a job first and take in some research on how to go on before you go head over heels studying in Vienna rather pointlessly.

Over the course of a few hours my mood changed quite a bit into devastated territory. Doing something head over heels musn't be bad, so don't listen to me.
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No. 18134
My professor keeps injecting his political beliefs into lectures on totally unrelated topics. It's very cringy and unprofessional.
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No. 18148
Have an exam tomorrow, mostly based on memorizing boring shit. Been force-feeding the stuff to my brain since sunday and since yesterday a neighbour is busy breaking a wall in to increase the size of his kitchen. Today the first sledge hammer hit the wall at 7:59. It's 1 story above me. I tried turning up music so loud I can block it out but I was reaching dangerous volume levels and this exam is not worth ruining my eardrums over.
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No. 18152
>>18134
Just deal with it. You can't make teachers change their ways.
The most important thing is that YOU don't start talking about politics with them, or if you must, just be a quiet yes-man to their ramblings. At least that's how I get out of the situation when they start talking about politics with me.
(They'd probably be completely disgusted with my actual, inconsistent and chaotic views that are completely detached from the political realities of our times.)(If I even have any views at all, which I'm not sure about.)
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No. 18153
Is apple juice a product made by apple juice manufacturers? Did they do it to make us believe in its existence? I feel cheated. Apple juice popularity is a tool in hands of juice manufacturers. There are various different fruits yet they chose apples.
Peppers are tasty.
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No. 18154
154 kB, 633 × 758
I was sick last week with a bad cold, I'd gotten better and everything was going well.

But no, today I had an informal meeting where I had to lean over a small coffee table to talk through some stuff on my laptop to a couple people. The mucus in my lungs must've slid from the change of directional gravity because I was dying - eyes streaming and everything. They couldn't just let me leave after I'd done speaking either! I had to stay for ages answering chit-chat questions like how I'm finding work and that. FOR HALF A BASTARD HOUR.

Hopefully I made the absolute cunts sick for doing this to me. It was clear I was chocking but still they kept going. The absolute worst experience of the year (so far).

>>18134
There's always one who has to do this. I'd agree with Hungary and advise you do everything to toe the party line with them generally because they inevitably turn go into shrill mode with anything outside of their small bubble of opinion.
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No. 18155 Kontra
1,4 MB, 193 × 135, 0:05
>>18153
>Is apple juice a product made by apple juice manufacturers?
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No. 18156
>>18153
Do you mean why in almost all juice with multiple ingredients ther always apple? Well, because it's cheap. for example I love bana juice without anything, and only option I have most time is buy juice for little babies that more expensive. Same goes with some other tastes.
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No. 18157
>>18156
I don't wanna sound like some fit hipster retard, but tbqh juice should be consumed like alcohol, just in different settings. Use it as pick-me-up in the morning or when the low hits on midday. Pour yourself a nice glass and enjoy. But don't think about it as something healthy or benificial for you. All juices are mainly sugar, aside from water. If you want the healthy stuff from fruits, like vitamins, eat them whole. If you want to stay hydrated, drink water. If you want a great healthy beverage, get some green tea. You can add a splash of apple or banana juice for flavour.
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No. 18158
179 kB, 1200 × 1420
>>18153
>Is apple juice a product made by apple juice manufacturers?
"It's don't"
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No. 18159
>>18157
I agree exept part about alchogol, because for me all alchogol tastes like "world war II plane fuel" or "another product + world war II plane fuel" and I also don't like drink just water for the most part.
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No. 18160
1,4 MB, 3923 × 1641
27 kB, 474 × 557
Today was awful.
I had a fever, so that's nice. Looks like I managed to catch something relatively serious this time around. Or maybe I just made it worse by trekking through the city yesterday.
That said, I managed to pick up two of my four packages. Decided to pick up something by Houellebecq because it seemed interesting based on what they write about him, so I got a nice edition of Whatever. I spent my remaining giftcard money on it. Flipped it open in a few places to see what is it like and it seems wonderful. I'm expecting it to embody the zeitgeist rather well. Got Mikhail Zoschenko's Before Sunrise. He is mentioned quite a few times throughout Shostakovich's biography, and this one isn't one of his satires, but a more personal work, so I have my hopes up. A really strange edition, printed just before the fall of communism, or rather, during the collapse of communism. Based on the first chapter it seems "entertaining".
For last, I decided to cop a fancy edition of the Iliad, because based on what I've read from this edition at the library, it seems nicer than the currently
standard translation. (It's more archaic, which I prefer when it comes to epics.) It was printed in 1902, and still has "Imperial and Royal Bookseller Company" printed on the title page. The library wouldn't let me take out their copy because it's too valuable. So valuable that I managed to find it for ~4 Euros.
I remember that I actually discussed this edition with a teacher once and I recited the currently "standard" translation's first few lines by heart, and then I read aloud some of this one. It didn't really impress her, but she did concede that it at least keeps the original metre like the new edition does.

I had https://youtu.be/O9w-zZGI2ao?t=727 this thing stuck in my head and it's incredibly annoying, especially how nonsensical the tune is at times. It's like I'm in a circus, and it makes my head feel like it's gonna explode. (It's a fucking Scherzo, so no wonder.)

And as a last note, I celebrated my 19th birthday today in the company of my family. Got two batteries, one for my regular laptop, and one for my trashtop. I'm satisfied because I got no knick-knack and this new hardware will make my life easier, plainly because it expends the lifetime of my computers. Also got some money, so I'm in the green again regards to my spending. (So of course I'm going to cop that new edition of No longer human, because I'm a consumerist wankstain and I can't find an ebook of the fucking thing)

Have I mentioned I feel like shit? What I hate about this the most that it eats up my time. My valuable time I could spend working, reading and studying. If I were healthy right now, I would have finished with the Houellebecq book by now. But I can't fucking concentrate on anything for longer than 20 minutes, and even if I could, my nose would start running and I'd have to take a fucking break to sneeze for 5 minutes. Fuck.
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No. 18161
>>18160
>I celebrated my 19th birthday today

All the best, mate.

You should take the illness as a time out. I know the feeling of reading books from the stack as something which has to been done near every minute of the day, yet a break has its good sides.

Just came back from university myself where I watched two english plays because they were limited in stuff and space it was rearranged, yet kept the essence of each play from a student drama group which a classmate did participate in. She did well like all others. Haven't watched a play since I don't know, so a good choice to leave the flat for once and do some things I almost never do, refreshing, really. I fled the scene after it was over, tho my classmate tried to find me. A bit of talking would have been nice I think. Haven't really talked much in the last days and I notice how it takes down my mood, yet I like being the hermit bookworm as well, welp.
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No. 18162
74 kB, 600 × 466
>>18112
>>18115
I'm in my early-to-mid-20s

I definitely need the structure. I thought I might feel a bit empty or whatever after handing in the thesis, but this crash is a lot worse than I expected. I feel like I had a lobotomy or sth. The multiple personality trope never appealed to me, but I really do feel like I'm back to being a different person whom I had already forgotten about.

I think you make a fair point that it might be a bit rushed but I've been thinking about it for a while. Maybe I was rather dreaming than thinking about it. I guess I need to get my priorities straightened out.
I'll try to go to the library tomorrow so hopefully I don't slack around as much.

>>18160
Happy Birthday and get well soon!
Also those books look pretty nice, I'm jelly.
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No. 18163
>>18162
Well, I usually make sure to get books that last.
The Zoschenko one is an exception. That's a typical 90s paperback that's crap, but there is no other edition of it available. (At least it was less than two euros though.)

Houellebecq's works were released by Magvető, which is a really prestigious publisher. They make quality editions of contemporary books. That was their job during communism too. Anything that was "artsy" or "literary" and in novel form, they were the ones printing it. This reputation lasts even today. They publish a number of contemporary Hungarian authors, including Krasznahorkai.
It must be weird for a foreigner to hear that the market is divided between a few publishing houses, with each of them working in a different field. But Hungary is a small country.
(Though there are a number of smaller publishers who also put out great books, but those are a bit harder to find.)
The Iliad is just a nice edition (And the only edition of that translation ever released.) It's part of a series called Illustrated Library of Great Writers which ran between 1902-1910. Some editions are brown-green, some are deep purple. The purple edition would be a second run print I think. That's what the library has, I have two from the first print run. (Iliad and the Nibelungenlied I-II.)
I'm rambling about irrelevant things again, aren't I.
I don't know why I even stockpile this information at all, it's useless in most cases

>>18161

>You should take the illness as a time out. I know the feeling of reading books from the stack as something which has to been done near every minute of the day, yet a break has its good sides.
It's not like I can do anything, really.
Tomorrow will be the turning point I think. I can feel it. I will wake up, blow my nose three times, and everything will be fine.
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No. 18164
351 kB, 213 × 222, 0:00
So I have recently discovered through experimentation that Kava actually works, though it works quite bizarrely through reverse tolerance, which isn't actually even reverse tolerance just that it seems to need building up in your system.

I have actually found that using the stuff at first and in high doses doesn't actually do much of anything except at first get you nauseous and your skin feeling this weird warm itchy sensation, but not actual itching like a, strange feeling I guess like it wants to flake off but not. This is followed by later taking too high a dose which doesn't actually make you feel "drunk" so much as I've heard it described but as hungover.

It felt extremely familiar but took me forever to figure out what it was until I finally realized it: feeling like you were drinking heavily lastnight. The head wobble isn't like being drunk, it is like that feeling of being hungover, of waking up dehydrated in the sunlight and feeling kind of shitty and like you may or may not need to throw up. It is that dry hangover feel where you don't have a headache and might still be almost drunk but can feel that very last beer wearing off. That's exactly what it feels like.

If you just keep drinking it/ingesting it somehow, eventually the crap seems to build up in your system enough or maybe even sensitizes you to the point where you gain beneficial effects. Do note: this must happen gradually as attempting to shortcut it results in the aforementioned issues. But after just continually drinking it you will get to the point where you not only need much less, but the effects change and rather than just being kind of mellowed in a weird way, you're instead both relaxed and almost genuinely happy or at least feeling upbeat.

Sadly this seems to take a huge amount of Kava over time to achieve. I'm talking like half a kilo if you're just soaking old possibly degraded root in water and straining the water to drink it, which I might add is probably wrong as the kavalactones are not supposed to be water soluble (I've heard mixed things about using lipids). I don't think this is something that can be achieved with mere cornershop or herbal supplement amounts. You truly have to have a huge fucking amount of it.

All that being said, once you attain the height it is actually quite pleasant. You suddenly feel upbeat and cheerful, mellow but still capable of being energetic. It is a very positive feeling and can easily change a grim demeanor in the morning by drinking the stuff or parachuting grams of extract which brings the feeling back. I get the impression that the islanders simply did this every day. So yes it is good, but an arduous climb to attain, although overall I would still very much recommend trying it out. After doing it for awhile you get a very good attitude check that kills the anxiety and grimness.
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No. 18165
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198 kB, 564 × 564
>>18157
>If you want a great healthy beverage, get some green tea. You can add a splash of apple or banana juice for flavour.
You can also add flavor to green tea by brewing it with a strong black tea. I know brewing green and black at the same temperature is wrong, but sometimes I just want to cram as many nurtients as I can into a cup.

>>18160
Happy Birthday.
>I had this thing stuck in my head and it's incredibly annoying
While it may be annoying, at least that music isn't embarassing. I have Baby Shark stuck in my head. Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo. It's been running in random loops ever since it was posted in a thread a week or so ago. I thought I had broken free of its mind numbing grip, but then-without reason or warning-it was played during the SuperBowl pregame show. Now the cycle has started all over again.
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No. 18169
>>18165
If you are brewing green tea you won't get more nutrients out of it than from black tea. To get the stuff specific to green tea (like L-Theanine) you need to stay below 70 degrees celsius.
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No. 18175
7,7 MB, 400 × 240, 3:07
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No. 18184
I read an article by Quention Meillassoux on speculation and correlationism basically Kants transcendental philosophy, the latter is object of critique. It's funny but frustrating at the same time when university taught you good pattern recognition in difficult texts, like: what seems an important statement to mark and which is uninteresting, strains of an argument that don't need to be marked. I cannot say I really understood what he wanted to say other than it's possible to abandon correlationism. Correlationsim means that we cannot think an absolute or outside of thought because our thoughts are always in relation to the things, they are relational and not separated from us. Meillssoux says it's possible to think an outside, for him, a naive proof would be to say that science has a subject that deals with data from a time before humans came into existence, so there must be something that exist without thought. But I got lost on the way from where he leaves this naive argument behind and unfolds his rather complex argument.
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No. 18185
>>18160
You are awesome reader. Sad that I don't have that much time nowdays to read too much. I want try to read some english books on original language to improve my english, if only I'd had time for that.
Anyway, Happy Birthday.

About thinhs stuck in my head - oftent I have some thoughts in my heda that preven me from normal sleep. I go to bed - close eyes and untill 5AM thinking about some crap.
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No. 18194
>>18169
>you need to stay below 70 degrees celsius
Thanks, I'll remember that. I did a test this morning and the temperature of 1 cup of boiling water, left to rest for 3 minutes, dropped 30°F(17°C). If I put the black tea in first, and then wait a few minutes before adding the green, that should work.