/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

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No. 17 Systemkontra
1,5 MB, 1993 × 2514
How has Ernst spend the day so far?
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No. 19
I spent today napping, reading and playing ToME. I'm not a fan of how much minor stuff is paywalled like changing character sprite and would prefer if it was just the expansion packs, but the classes in ToME are interesting enough to make me put up with it. Paradox Mages are really fun to play and even cooler when you read the descriptions of the spells and start to actually put yourself in the shoes of your character who is warping reality to change time and space and move through both, eventually creating so many paradoxes in reality that it starts glitching out and throwing you all over the map through unstable portals.
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No. 20
57 kB, 919 × 720
I go to makdonalds and ordered a Bit Tasty with beakon
And they not added beakon in it so I get original one when payed for beakon one. But I was too shy to go back and ask to remake my order after I eated half of that

Also temperature outside is like from +3 to + 7 celsius with wind and sometimes hailstones with drizzle and melting snow.
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No. 21
>>20
I once ordered in KFC chicken strips but I have got not chicken strips (I don't remember what exactly I got).
When I asked to change, not chicken strips went to trash.
I never regretted that much, I'd take out maybe 20 or 25 of not chicken strips if I knew that it would go to trash instead of being returned to me.
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No. 24
>>21
I remember when first macdonaldses opened in our city they are often accidentaly added more stuff in order than you ordered but this shit ended very fast.

Well for last 2 years I mostly eat in Polar Chicken - more tasty often and at night more cheap - for 80rub you like get burger and in a box 4-5 chicken strips and potato kotlet with sause.
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No. 80
36 kB, 489 × 519
just came from nightshift and had breakfast. now i'm glad ec is back. i detested kohl from the beginning and felt dirty lurking in their cesspool. also fuck them for doxxing the old ec staff.
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No. 82
84 kB, 500 × 333
>>80
Welcome home, Ernst!
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No. 84
Just watched the latest episode of The Expanse and finished my bottle of sparkling wine. I could go to sleep soon, but I'm tempted to pull an all dayer to reset my sleep schedule. That kind of thing is best done sober but I could go full degenerate and open another bottle and take some caffeine pills to pull through. Sleep deprivation has been shown to provide quite a bit of short term relief from depression and I would agree with those studies. Sometimes I wonder if it's a placebo chicken and egg situation where after reading the studies, I've now convinced myself that I've felt better after being sleep deprived, but I think it's probably a pretty legit effect. In any case, those studies say that people like me respond well to antidepressants, so I'm not averse to popping some pills.

I love the summer weather but in these hotter months it's all to easy to sleep all day to avoid the heat, become nocturnal, and end up getting drunk at 6 AM.

As always, remember to like, subscribe, upvote, follow, and donate for more fascinating blog updates.

>>80

I worked a night shift for half a year and it was pretty shit. During the same period I did a few shifts during the daytime, and I noticed a perceptible difference in how much sharper and talkative I was around my daytime colleagues.

When I was a NEET I thought working the night shift would be ideal, but when you're forced to be awake during the night rather than falling into naturally, it's nowhere near as much fun.

Was it really the 'doxxing' (if you can really call googling someone's admin/mod username doxxing) that finally broke the proverbial camel's back? The official explanation is that it was just too much effort for the mods to keep a handle on this place and all the shitposting invader, which is kind of ironic considering how low/high-effort posting was made into a EC meme.
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No. 91 Kontra
>>80
Well [spoiler]we could try to get them pulled with a ToS violation in revenge[/spoiler]
Just saying
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No. 93
I don't know if someone went through my binder at the store when I wasn't looking or if I've just put them somewhere that I can't recall, but I lost two magic cards that I had set aside for my new commander deck. One of them was an Opal. Feels really fucking bad man.
https://shop.tcgplayer.com/magic/scars-of-mirrodin/mox-opal
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No. 136
I went shopping after having the best sleep in weeks.
I should be preparing for the English Abitur oral exam but who gives le fuck.
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No. 137
>>136
Tbh, you probably speak more natural English than most of the assessors who learn it all formal like.
t. english pro
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No. 139
>>137
I'm shooting for a the best possible mark since the written part was 98% at the elevated level (i.e. Highest level test you can take, at this level even 60% gets you the best possible mark) and the oral part can bring down the points I earn.
Yesterday I had a nice discussion with an old guy who spoke English for around an hour, if I managed that, then this 15 minute interview won't pose a fucking challenge.
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No. 146
108 kB, 1148 × 746
>>139
Well shit, congrats are in order for that much. Hell, I'm sure you'll ace it if you manage to swing out 98% on one half. Just don't respond to 'how are you?' with 'aww yeah nah mate not bad aye, yerself?' and you'll be fine. It'd arguably show a better understanding of English to speak fluently in Australian but I doubt that they assessors would see it the same way :-DDDDD
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No. 148
1,4 MB, 3264 × 1836
I decided to start seriously learn and re-learn academic drawing. I so want mske my proportions, angles, construction and perspective maybe not perfect, but at least good to be able to draw without basic mistakes.
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No. 151
>>148
Noice. Maybe when the Brick finds his way here, you two can have ultra-serious art discussions.
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No. 152
487 kB, 1200 × 846
>>146
The English department crowned me a king when they saw the results. I did better than the actual pupils who took English as their main subject, and they only took a basic level exam. I'm so smug right now, it's killing me, because I actually study German officially, and I also wrote the best German exam at 92%, despite only studying it for 3 years, compared to the 13 of my classmates.
So essentially and English student wrote the best German exam, and a German student wrote the best English exam, and both are me basically.
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No. 155
>>152
Ebin. I wish I was good at language. I've studied Kazakh for a while now but I'm not very good at it. Short heda, culture of monolingual.
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No. 160
>>155
I intend to study mandarin at university to become a translator, and I need good grades for that, and not only good grades, but knowledge to back it up.
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No. 181
>>151
Would be good. It always awesome to have live disscution with someone who experienced in art, nothing helps in studing art like other man who know art better and can point your mistakes.
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No. 208
I built a Ikea bookcase from instructions, got all sweaty from it.
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No. 209
>>148
That's comics.

If you wanna do something that will not look like a comic you have to do copia dal vero.

t. Went to art school like 15 years ago.
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No. 219
>>209
Wut? Sorry not fully understanded the post. If you about what I posted this was my attempts at drawing basic head shape and proportions of it in different angles. I not tried even clothely in details. I suck at all that this why I training in it.
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No. 278
Job stuff and hoping to God my computer doesn't keep crashing. I stupidly defragged the drive which I am insomniac already so barely got any sleep b/c didn't finish til almost dawn. I have seen some idiotic advice about changing the dump file from being written to smallest possible but I don't even have a kernal dump. Honestly I actually start to suspect it may not even be the hardware itself but the fact the machine is full of dust. But the strange thing is I can seemingly web browse and play Jedi Outcast and such and it seems stable. It's only when I open Steam back up to let it download that I keep getting the external mode kernal trap error.
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No. 329
104 kB, 1330 × 747
today i cried. a lot.
can't remember the last time i cried.

i am at least as crazy as dr. horton. (thou, i don't know if she is a con-artist) I just usually never talk about it, since i have a hard time believing anyone would believe the stuff i would have to say. my life went pretty straight downhill ever since all that started. i think that is no surprise in both cases (being crazy and imagining things or actually such stuff happening to you.) this is the first - and maybe the last - time i've mentioned this.

I've decided to take a break from all technology for a while.

bye friends

t. pic, if you remember.
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No. 330
15 kB, 288 × 261
When EC went down I migrated to Bronnen, guys, it's such a shithole.
I like the occasional shitpost as much as the next guy but that board's just full on braindead.

Nice to be here.
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No. 333
111 kB, 618 × 928
>>330
> I migrated to Bronnen

Did you take a nice hot shower, before coming back here?
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No. 334
>>17
Getting an AC installed was probably the best decision of my whole entire life.
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No. 341
>>330
Bronnen is good
It's like if GG Allin was an imageboard
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No. 342
>>341
I kek'd
It's so nice to see that even after so many years and ruptures the Imageboards still make me laugh.
Thanks frend
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No. 368
>>341
Tbh, bronnen reminds me of a bizarro EC. It's the same kind of environment, just for a different crowd.
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No. 374
I got a temporary cap from the dentist in anticipation of a proper one. How long do you think it'll last? I want to put off paying for the full one for as long as possible.
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No. 378
111 kB, 439 × 490
>>368
What the fuck? No It isn't.
It is quite possibly board I have ever seen anywhere. Not even 4krebs /b/ ever reached this level of cancer. I sincerely think it is currently the worst most shittiest board in existence.
>like late KC
>good
Every time you hear someone saying this you can be relatively confident they only discovered KC in the last few years and part of what destroyed the site.
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No. 380
>>378
I agree that it's quite the opposite to EC, yet I'd prefer bronnen to 4chan's /b/ just because of the lack of wannabe newfag edgelords.
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No. 381
>>378
What I mean is that they are very tightly woven together after hanging out together for as long as they have. Behaviourally they are largely the opposite of EC, but the way that the place works as a community reminds me of a shitposting version of EC. I've seen similar places before and they're generally a lot more complex than they appear at first glance.
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No. 383
>>378
I think in the Russian web there's slightly interesting analogue of Bronnen. Iichan.hk, it's a Russian imageboard with a lot of mentally retarded people interested in anime, they rarely engage in meaningful discussions about anything and majority of the posters shitpost all day everyday. It's the most newfag friendly imageboard I've seen, it's officially forbidden to swear there and people almost never offend each other. The board reminds me a lot about traditional anime forums.
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No. 385
>>383
>they rarely engage in meaningful discussions about anything and majority of the posters shitpost all day everyday.
That's because everything is being deleted. When you try to post anything meaningful, the message gets deleted because "it belongs to thematical boards", for example.
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No. 389
361 kB, 791 × 582
>I sincerely think it is currently the worst most shittiest board in existence

I disagree. They've created a sort of shitposting cult. The rules of shitposting are informal but explicit and consistent there, unlike 4ch or 8ch /b/ which have devolved into total anarchy. Bronnen is a sort of highly-refined shitposting; so highly refined, indeed, that the shitposting is pointless. Can one really shitpost if everybody is shitposting? It's all done for the purpose of escapism, and that fact is mutually agreed upon but unspoken on Bronnen.
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No. 390 Kontra
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No. 392
I've eaten chocolate bar with lime pieces.
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No. 439
>>389
Kinda this and something more that can't be explained
Let's just say that hanging out daily in a close community for more than 5 years kinda transforms into something else (people flying over continents to meet-up and shitpost irl)
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No. 452 Kontra
>>389
Your sophistry does not in any way obscure but rather highlights just how shitty it truly is
>is it truly shitposting if everybody is shitposting
Yes. That just means there is nothing left to salvage.
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No. 454
>>160
There are billions of Chinese, I would try a different profession.
You need to go to university to study Chinese?
t;can't read/write Mandarin or speak it.
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No. 455
Thinking about drinking some leftover wine I have.
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No. 456
doing something
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No. 458
25 kB, 520 × 260
Started reading Dune today, very enjoyable thus far. I keep picturing everything in the mood of Warhammer 40k will all of the talk of lasguns and mutant navigators, although the writing is far superior to anything I have read in the Black Library novels.

Went for a walk on an overgrown trail near my house where you can see the mountains. I think nearly everyday about how much I want to go hiking over them, and how nice it would be to come to a deep stream or a river and swim after the close heat of the trees around you for hours. The only things holding me back are my car and a lack of companionship, although the former is of more serious concern than the latter. My old vehicle is unreliable now, and I would hate to get up in the willywags and have it die on me, but I will take the chance pretty soon because the hazy teal hills are calling out to me. I used to hike by myself a lot, but it's usually nice to have someone along in case of trouble or just to share the experience. It brings out unusual qualities in people when you are in nature for a good deal of time, and you can really start to understand why people of the past looked at a mountain with hatred or how you could burn and destroy animals and parts of the forest with less sympathy for them.

Usually things aren't nearly that serious though, and it's just refreshing to walk around or camp out and enjoy the night. Staying near running water is a great sleeping pill if you aren't attacked by bugs; something in that cool evening air puts me right to sleep, and it's comfortable able to wash yourself and clean dishes without worrying about it. Best of all is winding down the night watching for meteors or other objects. Depending on what time it passes over, it's enjoyable to stay up and watch the ISS, just like I am going to do tonight.

Still holding out for that camping aurora, one of these days....
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No. 479
Ernst, I finally did it. I pissed the bed while drunk. I'd like to think this will mark the end of alcohol-consumption in my life, but it brobably won't :DD
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No. 480
>>479
Congrats!

Sort your life out before it spirals out of control
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No. 486
Feels good to be on EC again
Kohl isn't that bad, but something there feels wrong

My day was okay, suffering from hangover. Yesterday was a day of my faculty in my uni, I drank a lot of stuff and did some weird things as far as I remember
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No. 488
840 kB, 875 × 619
61 kB, 677 × 500
>>458
I imagine dune more of artstyle of awesome science fiction artists from 60-70s. Dune is much more high thing, you know, from different times and with differend ideas in mind and different atmosphere. Fakt that wh40 used a lot from it don't mean that it share with dune style, atmosphere and core ideas of universe and world.

As kinda separate thing, I like to imagine different dune universe - those one from westwood dune games but this is a comlleatly different topic. I like warhammer as universe, but almost all time of it's existance art, lore and stories there was shit tier, black library books 90% toilet paper tier fanfic and overall it is a mess - and now with this PLOT TURNS and tumbler tier art it getting worse. 40k highlights was like from 3 to 5 editions - where they had less shit and crazy stuff, had decent artists and all things like that. Warhammer universe may be awesome... if someone professional taked it and recycled compleatly.
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No. 489
15 kB, 257 × 318
>>486
>Kohl isn't that bad, but something there feels wrong
There are decent posters there, like there always were a lot of decent posters on Krautchan, but there are just too many very active shitposters, who ruin it for me. /b/ is full of right-wingers, attention whores and porn spammers. The only way to lurk there is to find that two or three decent threads and just hope that they don't get ruined by one of the jerks. I was really sad as EC gave up, since I still thought it was the superior board, despite that many posters left for Kohl. As long as quality posters stayed, I wasn't worried, and slowness can be very comfy.

If this place can establish itself as new EC, that would really be a good thing. Thanks in advance for trying!
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No. 490
>>489
>decent posters there
It's a channel full of nazis.
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No. 491
>>489
If this place will be as slow as the pre-KCpocalypse EC I'll be fine with that. Shitposters can stay on kohl.
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No. 497
19 kB, 480 × 360
>How has Ernst spend the day so far?
I was feeling a little guilty for not taking the opportunity of a sunny day to take a ride with my bike. Then I thought: "Well, I could still do it.", since it was only about 3:15pm, and checked the weather forecast, which said something about mild showers the evening. That was 45 minutes ago. Now there is a storm with heavy rainfall right above my village.

Being a lazy bum pays off sometimes.
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No. 507 Kontra
>>490
>It's a channel full of nazis.
The average age of posters there is really above 90 years old? Would explain the many typing errors at least.
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No. 508
>>507
They claim that most posters there are above 30, what would make the stuff they post extra sad, because at that age playing the edgy nazi should have become boring a long time ago. I fear a significant percentage is really serious about this.

>>490
At least way too much for me to bear.
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No. 510
>>507
They are neo-nazis. Last week, they had a thread about neo-nazi music.
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No. 511
>>508
>being a serious (neo-)nazi above 30
Is the West in decline or these are too hardcore Krautchan oldfags that spent everything in their youth on kaycee?
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No. 512
2 kB, 306 × 45
105 kB, 715 × 778
How long should this take ?
We should be back to at least 10 pages by now.
Why won't Ernst find his way back home by now ?
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No. 513
>>511
Some people might just lose contact to reality over all the time spent on the internet with gonspiracy theories, 4chan craziness etc. I still seriously doubt that many cabbagers are over 30.
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No. 515
>>512
Sometimes less is more.
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No. 516
>>512
Have patience, my friend. Anyone interested in serious discussions will sooner or later find his way here. Also: I think Ernst is not enough of a dick to aggressively advertise this site on other boards, which is actually a nice trait.

>>511
>or these are too hardcore Krautchan oldfags that spent everything in their youth on kaycee?
The real oldfag Krautchanners wouldn't be raging nazis at all. That's more of a midfag thing I suppose.

>>513
>I still seriously doubt that many cabbagers are over 30.
I agree, maybe they keep telling this to themselves as a replacement for putting effort in their postings.
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No. 517
251 kB, 500 × 450
>>512
Not really. This is a relatively close approximation of the speed of the period of EC we're trying to recreate. There were threads in the catalog when KC died that had been there from the last time KC had downtime months earlier. The board didn't slide that fast.

We just need a couple more of the old posters and we're back in action with minimal userbase scattering within a week. EC userbase stronk. On that topic, has anybody spotted the Brick anywhere online? People think I'm talking shit but that guy is legitimately my only friend. Such cases when foreigners on microboards constitute your social life.
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No. 519
>>513
>losing contact with reality
This. No nations, no borders! But losers in life will never understand that.
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No. 522
>>512
For some reason I think that big posting on Ernstchan after KC death was caused by the fact Ernstchan existed before Kohlchan appeared and this caused many Bernds to come here. Posting speed remained fast, and Bernds who haven't accepted Ernst, still were trying to fit in.
But Ernstchan death happened, and many people who haven't decided where to stay, finally got on Kohl.
Also, it's not like we are totally unknown, yesterday Kohl was unavailable and some Kohl posters came here.
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No. 523
>>519
We have too much losers on the Earth then.
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No. 524
>>522
>Also, it's not like we are totally unknown, yesterday Kohl was unavailable and some Kohl posters came here.
I also would like to add the assumption that advertising would only lead to an influx of highly motivated Kohl hateposters instead of guiding the reminaing Ernsts home. Maybe it is better to keep a low profile and just wait it out, the information will spread eventually.
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No. 530
I didn't want to spend any time on Kohlchan so I spent weeks of exile on 4chan/tv/ hoping that an EC community would start on magyarchan. It was awful and I truly felt so lonely and disconnected from the world in a way I had never felt before.

My observations:
  1. /tv/ is a truly frustrating place to browse regularly. Naturally, as its 4kanker, it is all the same threads over and over again but from the chatter I gather it has evolved into a place reddit goes to shitpost and where a small clique of /pol/ autists maintain a constant presence like it's territory (some of which are obviously bots).
Of course being a thematic board no effort is made to contain rampant shitposting about Star Wars etc. and horrifyingly anything that shapes into general discussion within the community is crushed. I was initially puzzled about general threads concerning The Terror were still being made but then I realised that they had no other means to hang out with their internet friends. Depressing to think about considering you can tell a good portion of the community just want to chat without ending up on /b/ or /soc/.

2. Magyarchan posters are nice and accommodating but it felt like being a straight guy in a gaybar. I can understand and coexist with them but I don't understand the mindset at all that powers such a place which might be from reading while sober.

>>160
Do you not have a nearby Confucius Institute you can study at? They are pretty cheap and open to anyone yet also have partnerships with universities so that the advanced level comes with some kind of a qualification.

Also understanding a little Chinese culture helps you unlock the Chinese clique at university who are safe as houses.
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No. 536
>>512
I think many lost Ernst are simply unaware that this place exists or if they do that it's not just a shaky imitation run by a shitposter. Maybe for future situations an off-site bunker might be created such as a steamgroup so that we can collectively find our way home.

Nothing too active of course otherwise we will end up with a gang like Krautchans IRC.
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No. 538
>>530
>2. Magyarchan posters are nice and accommodating but it felt like being a straight guy in a gaybar
The thing you have to know about magyarchan's /i/ is that it only became active when KC died and the Drunk Anime Thread posters established a foothold. Before that it had less than a thousand posts while being ~3-4 years old

>Do you not have a nearby Confucius Institute you can study at?
There is one, I'm just too much of an autist to go and visit it, and I also have too much on my hand in terms of studies already.
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No. 539
>>530
Magyarchan is so slow there are still my threads from 2016 on 7th page or so
Slow boards might be cozy, but that's too slow

How do people even consider that place a KC substitute?
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No. 541
>>539
>Magyarchan

I only saw Kohl, Berndchan, Krautchan.co, 8ch/kc/ and Ernst on the list as KC subs.

I wish I had capped the original list after KC went down, but that's how I remember it.
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No. 543
>>539
Most of Magyarchan is (mostly) dead, since Hungarian imageboards tend to die, magyarchan is the third iteration.
The only boards not dead are /a/, /b/ /p/ and /t/, the others seldom get posts.
The main problem with the international board is or was according to the mod-admin team is that the name doesn't align with the other international boards, because it's /i/ and not /int/. It never had a community before KC's death.
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No. 544
>>539
Original ernstchan /b was kinda small board of someone who left kc or something and was used as emergency when KC down or something.
When KC was down for a week in marth 2017, old ec mods created /int board
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No. 547
>>544
I remember it, I was among the first posters of old EC /int/ during that refugee wave
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No. 554
375 kB, 960 × 1207
>>544
I originally went to Ernst/b/ when KC went down the first time in August 2016, to find out what happened. At that time there was no /int/ board.
I asked in english, and got many answers back in english. I was surprised.
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No. 560
151 kB, 1368 × 713
>>554
Apparently there was another shut down in September 2017, that I didn't experience due to away on vacation.
I don't even know how long that one lasted.
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No. 561
I've eaten baked chestnuts.
Very oligarch-tier, 2$ per 80g.
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No. 568
I didn't drink coffee for a week and didn't smoke tobacco for five days now, still tripping. Also nofap for a week, now that I think about it.

I'm effectively a university dropout manchild tier son basket at the moment, doing nothing but playing computer games, trading a bit of bitcoin and playing some online poker, 28 y.o. Fuck my life.

But I have plans. I have done very little to accomplish them in the past months but I have plans to study informatics, because what I do best is evaluating and filtering information and the possibilities of doing such things nowadays with the internet and all are mesmerising.

I just need to fucking kick myself in the butt to get going. Jesus christ.
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No. 571
116 kB, 558 × 778
Remember the alignment check thread on EC shortly before it went down? That stuff made me read further, since I do not have any experience with D&D-based games except Nethack. I read a lot about alignments, their implications, discussions about which alignment some known characters have, and I started watching a Baldur's Gate walkthrough, a game which I've never played myself since I hadn't access to a PC until 2001. I find that stuff really interesting, with all that lore surrounding it. I started wondering if this was presented to people not as a nerd game, but as a religion or a philosophy, if it might be convincing enough to actually attract a following.

>>568
I understand that it is pretty hard to keep yourself focused on a life goal with all that easily accessible short-term distraction around. Sometimes I am really glad that I'm already done with university, because I don't know if I had it in me to pull it off again today.
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No. 593
Not very productive day so far, I slept way too long and just went to the supermarket.
Hearing the voices and laughs outside of my appartement makes me long for human interaction, but being alone at home is not bad either.
At least done a small bit of writing again today which I haven't for a week now for reasons of mental diffusion and alcohol consumption. I might continue it later tonight, do some reading or transcribe notes to I wrote down to my computer.
Also ordered some drugs again even though I have been sober (drug-free) since almost 3 months now, not sure what to think about that.

>>568
Don't you think that's too much at once? I'd rather try kicking one habit after the other, you can't achieve everything at once but have to slowly and steadily work for it I think.

>>517
Sorry, I haven't seen him anywhere. Last thing I remember was that he wrote that the new EC wouldn't be for him some time before it died.
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No. 595
I watched the new movie of the German state TV of Houellebecq's Submission.
It sucked.
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No. 617
I just discovered that autism cube's knittings around various public fixtures is an actual thing
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yarn_bombing
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No. 619 Kontra
>>617
In this post I wanted to point out paragraphs I didn't like in the article but for some reason I decided to erase it.
Spirit of high quality seems to be taking over me.
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No. 630
>>568
I'm in almost exactly the same position so I know how you feel. The realisation that I'm approaching 30 without having my life together came into my head when I woke up earlier and I know my future is suffering for it.

My problem is I dropped out of my postgraduate research project 6+ months ago and it feels like I have done nothing since but regress into being a teenager which I can feel happening. I need to dust myself off a finish off my thesis so I can hand it in but I can't even start like I'm riddled with anxiety about what I should even do. It's like my subconscious gave up and put his foot down so now I can't motivate him to work with me on this or much of anything else.

There was an article I read years ago on this about how living at home again does it maybe the advice for both us would be to try and change the scenery. Or maybe to follow Memerson's advice (I picked it up in desperation a month ago - it's okay I guess but he's no Carnegie) and try to make little changes so that every day things are just a little bit better.

>didn't smoke tobacco for five days now

Good going but as someone who quit a few months ago I would recommend having a vape or something because the next week is hell. Videogames I find also help with the distraction aspect so maybe being stuck in a rut is helping in it's own way.
>>
No. 632
Visited my gf's parents who can't speak English:DDDD
>>
No. 633
Woke up an hour ago, it's still nice and cool outside, so I can lurk with windows open. Watching some videos on the tubes and thinking about breakfast now. Monday and workings are still a considerable time away, and there is nothing to be taken care of immediatly. Sunday 8-10AM is the most comfy time ever, I wish it would stay like this.
>>
No. 646
I woke up and found out that my Wehrmacht-Thread on /b/ Kohl was captured by Malte and some schizo.

I just wanted to know where my grandpa has been during WW2, since the photo I found makes me feel strange everytime I look at it. These young people who had been in the russian underwood fighting for what exactly? It seems so absurd and the photo is been capturing this moment in time
>>
No. 648
>>646
>I woke up and found out that my Wehrmacht-Thread on /b/ Kohl was captured by Malte and some schizo.
That's unfortunate, but I'm surprised that you didn't see that coming.
>>
No. 649
118 kB, 278 × 348
2,0 MB, 1920 × 1080
I'm going to have a meetup with my old elementary school classmates and I can feel that this is going to be terrible.
They all turned into horrible blydos who post twitter memes unironically and are proud of browsing 9gag and taking le ebin drugs.
Yet, I can't stop my morbid curiosity from getting hold of me and meeting them.
>>
No. 651
>>649
If you are above or nearing 30, prepare yourself for endless stories and picures about their families and children. I actually ignored the last meeting because it's so annoying. Not that I'm mad at them for being like this, these topics are now the most important things in their lives, but I obviously don't have much in common with them any longer. So maybe it's the best to just stay away.
>>
No. 654
>>648
Well, I don't know any other place on the internet than imageboards which can provide information about the Wehrmacht fast.

I got 3 valuable postings in 120 postings thread.
>>
No. 655
37 kB, 670 × 496
>>654
>I got 3 valuable postings in 120 postings thread.
Well, that's a nice cohlefficient you got there :3 Jokes aside, it's not your fault, I lurked there too, because there was no other place to go which I knew of. Still I prefer a board where nazi-, porn-, and whore-stuff doesn't make up 2/3 of all threads, and this doesn't imply that the rest is quality. So I hope that people will find their way here as time goes by. Still, I think advertising is a bad idea, because >>524
>>
No. 663
173 kB, 800 × 600
>>560
That one was about a week from memory. It felt like an age though due to how bad the board got slid.

It was actually still at the bottom of the catalog by the time KC died, funnily enough.
>>593
>Last thing I remember was that he wrote that the new EC wouldn't be for him some time before it died.
Sounds about right. I remember he made a soft exit from KC to begin with and around this time or maybe a little later last year he decided that he no longer enjoyed the fast posting of KC and preferred to hang out on EC. It's kind of funny but he's actually a veritable archive of EC/int/ history because he saved every pre-2018 today thread for later reading. I still hope he manages go get here at some point, we never finished our Abai & Alash literature discussions.
>>
No. 671
>>655
Well my thread had an ad for EC.xyz, I wouldn't have found it otherwise and I prefered EC like it was before the Bernd-flood.
>>
No. 676
1,7 MB, 3264 × 1836
I get my new motherboard! Now I have video card and motherboard. Soon, very soon I will be able to browse new EC from PC for the first time
>>
No. 678
>>676
I'm waiting for the day Hipster start going on the internet via fixed Computers again because its a whole different feel bro
>>
No. 680
>>678
Well I'am not hipsted just my last workind computer finnaly deda like 2 weeks ago
>>
No. 682
I am having a hard time of things this morning.

I made friends with a coworker sort of, we're trying to be friends but both know it is too soon for us to be anything more than casual buddies. It started out we just talked at work and ate lunch together sometimes.

I've never been so desired and pursued by a person before and it's confusing, she has prompted and pushed for everything. She even admitted to me she wanted to be friends for a long time but was nervous about it. Never in my life has someone laughed at all these things I say or texted me things like "you are the cutest person I know and you're always making me smile".

I'm so lonely and have abandonment issues so this is hurting me, but I will never tell her that. I am trying to take the happy feelings this is giving me with the bad ones but it's difficult and I'm scared. I truly don't trust her to not hurt me.

The worst part is I'm moving away in July and had it in my head all year that I had nothing to miss in this cold retarded city, but now I have someone to miss. I suppose we will be e-friends, I wanted a platonic relationship irl so badly though.

I could tell her never mind and stop talking to her, which would hurt us but wouldn't hurt as much as this friendship fizzling out in another month or two which is what 99% of people shamelessly do.
>>
No. 683
>>682
>I truly don't trust her to not hurt me.
I feel you.
It always has been hard to find a person whom you can trust your feelings, and there are such many cases when you show your sincere feelings and the person whom you trusted turns his true image.
Well, it is so ancient problem that it is one of Biblical scenes.
>>
No. 685
7,4 MB, 329 × 329, 0:09
My food reserves are still going strong. I will easily make it to a full 7 days without seeing another human being or indeed sunlight. Feels good man.
>>
No. 686
109 kB, 500 × 600
>>682
>she has prompted and pushed for everything. She even admitted to me she wanted to be friends for a long time but was nervous about it. Never in my life has someone laughed at all these things I say or texted me things like "you are the cutest person I know and you're always making me smile".

You gonna fuck her or no? It's obvious she likes you.

Think about it this way, you're moving in a month, invite her out for a drink and in a week explain your situation. Let's say you fuck up, I'm reading this wrong etc. Well you're moving in a matter of weeks so it doesn't matter at all if it doesn't work out but maybe you two will hit it off better than you could ever expect or at least have some of the best weeks of your life. Timing sucks but she is making a real effort so you owe her a chance.
>>
No. 689
>>683

It's the single most awful aspect of life, imo. I can't hold some misanthropic position about that because I am guilty of betraying and hurting people too.

>>686

>You gonna fuck her or no? It's obvious she likes you.

That's not really what I wanted out of this. Sex is acquirable(it really is Ernst) but friendship with likeminded people is so hard to come by.

I don't think she likes me in that way, I don't know how I'd even handle it if she did feel that way. She clarified after saying that, "I'm not hitting on you it's just I get really emotional and excited about friendship"

There's like a 0% chance she sees me that way because she is pretty and petite enough to get a good bf, and I'm just a tranny, she just admires my aesthetics and style and personality.

>Let's say you fuck up, I'm reading this wrong etc. Well you're moving in a matter of weeks so it doesn't matter at all if it doesn't work out but maybe you two will hit it off better than you could ever expect or at least have some of the best weeks of your life. Timing sucks but she is making a real effort so you owe her a chance.

I will make sure to spend as much time as possible together before leaving. I really wanted to walk around downtown eating icecream and making fun of the tourist hordes together.

Drinks sounds like a good idea too.
>>
No. 690
I had a dream last night in which the sentence 'the Geneva convention is delightful' was repeated over and over in a child's voice.

Eggsplain
>>
No. 692
>>690

Sounds like you have krautchan induced nightmares.
>>
No. 695
>>690
Epigenetic trauma for the past crimes of the british empire infa 100%
>>
No. 699
>>685
There is no absolute safety, just jump into the water when it's about like warm, anything else can be skipped then. you will never have the perfect temperature to chill forever

Also...
>>689
>It's the single most awful aspect of life, imo. I can't hold some misanthropic position about that because I am guilty of betraying and hurting people too.

...This

>It's the single most awful aspect of life, imo.

Agree tho. I have a serious problem with trust too, yet gf is quite caring about it. Dunno if she ever talks about me with her friends about something more intimidaiting but alas I don't know her friends really, I've mostly just seen them on photos besides a handful that I met IRL.
>>
No. 708
442 kB, 500 × 434, 0:01
Drinking tea, listening to music and smoking cigarettes.
I will read a bit and later probably have some baked potatoes.
Really nice evening so far. Sleep rhythm is pretty fucked though and I'll somehow need to get up for uni.
Not much sleep then tonight, I guess.
>>
No. 709
>>708
>and I'll somehow need to get up for uni.
Don't sleep then
>>
No. 710
>>709
Too exhausting tbh, will only do if there really is no other choice. Thing is that I really have to go to the class because you can only miss it 4 times at max and I already missed it 2 or 3 times.
>>
No. 711
>>710
How's studying year in Germany?
Because in Russia it's near the end of exams time.
>>
No. 719
>>711
Only one month left until the cozy times end. It all went way to fast again.
>>
No. 720
Trying to fix stuff with fish. It is like a real world sim/city builder in a sense I guess, just trying to keep everything balanced and everyone who's a fish or plant happy and healthy.
>>
No. 721
904 kB, 2448 × 2448
>>720
I don't understand, please explain.
>>
No. 722
>>721
Well, have you ever actually built a city simulator? You know how suddenly say sewage is full and backing up, or you have insufficient healthcare, or the roads are all fucked preventing ambulances/firefighters/etc from responding?

Yeah well think of fish keeping like that. You have to understand the nitrogen cycle, keep the plants happy, keep the fish happy, and keep everything balanced in this closed environmental system. Keeping them from being stressed and free of disease is a big one. And it is not uncommon for people to have an aquarium doing well and suddenly it just crashes. A lot like a building and management simulator. Everything is going well and then say a whole wave of retirees start dying and your economy starts failing because nobody to work the jobs etc. It pretty much feels like the same thing, except having actual living beings relying on you to not fuck it up and kill them.

I currently am trying to deal with a bacterial infection and one fish for whatever fucking reason prolapsed his colon and started pineconing (when the fish is so inflamed the scales stick out, often dropsy aka septicemia). I tried to push it back in, which failed so hard he's nose done and looking like he's about to die. I should have just left the damn thing alone, which means one of my little guys is probably going to be gone by tomorrow. I'm struggling against a huge bacterial bloom right now and trying to get everybody situated and more plants to grow.
>>
No. 725
>>722
Ah, now I get it and remember you.
I haven't realized that you're the fish farm Ernst, so out of context the statement seemed absurd to me.
The few times I was playing those kind of games I usually fucked up terribly, so I better don't get myself fish.
However good luck with keeping them alive.

Also I didn't sleep and still feel awake, chances decrease I'm gonna get to uni today. Three and a half hours of sleep are rather unrealistic to go with. Or I really try to stay awake and correct my sleeping schedule but then the day would be even more of a torture.
>>
No. 729 Kontra
27 kB, 416 × 312
1,2 MB, 932 × 972
>>725

>remember you

? Yeah I am actually probably multiple highly noticeable people but I just managed to hide it well on imageboards since I lurked for years. It teaches you how to be unnoticeable. Being surrounded by fat to meld into helps.

And yeah it is really easy to holocaust them. I fucking lost almost everybody in one tank because they got infected by chaos camallanus worms, which then after spending weeks trying to treat them the water parameters got fucked because the not supposed to mess with bacteria medication did, which poisoned everybody. Fucking lost so many of them. It really felt like that moment in a sim where your economy crashes and everybody starts dying and you start to feel helpless trying to fix that. But, it is good for ernst to try and pay attention to things.

Well, I have been there. Holy fucking shit, you know I was a complete dumbass for trying to take Adderall as a study aid back then, which everybody seemed to do. Try going to class with basically no sleep for two days. Or being natural insomniac and constantly running on 3.5 hours sleep. It is completely doable, just unpleasant. Don't skip classes. Just go. Unless you are totally fucked or have an infectious disease, just get your ass to uni. Trust me, you will be rewarded for the suffering and if you don't you're going to regret the shit out of your actions later. Even if it is kinda useless degree, don't drop out. See it through to the bitter end ernst.
>>
No. 761
I woke up, got some beers, applied for my visa, had a slice of pizza and a beer 7e, there was a baby cockroach on the floor.
Samuel Adams was a bad choice, due to the weather but I bought a can of Newcy Brown 1.9e
Walked outside at the market 33degC, too damn hot, little sleep and drinking the beer I bought.
>>
No. 771
92 kB, 500 × 345
I had to go out and do my laundry today, so I waited until 10PM to do it so that I ran no risk of bumping into anybody. Hanging things up in the dark was kind of hard but worth it tbh.

>>699
I dunno my man, I feel pretty secure in my locked down fortress. I only feel insecure when I have to leave it and go into the line of fire. It's number one vs the world after all.
>>
No. 772
>>771

I was living like this a year ago. How long have you been living like this?
>>
No. 773
Today I have the some papers to turn in at the social security office, it opens at 9am but the building it's in opens at 7am. I am first in line playing around on my phone.

Guards were so rude to me and now I hear them being polite to another person. Fuck them.

After this I want to get coffee and and sandwich.

Later today I'm going to the hair salon and I'm nervous of how it will turn out, I don't normally make drastic changes. If I don't like how it turns out I won't be able to go to work tomorrow.

After that I'm going to the mall.
>>
No. 780
>>729
I only just remembered you from old EC, you had a thread about the same fish topic I think and it got kind of stuck with me.

I stayed at home btw, but I will finish the class nonetheless as I really like the subject I will write the homework about.
You see, doing stuff I'm interested in goes very well but I struggle to do what I'm not interested in. Especially if it's just a test where you have to learn the contents by heart. I like writing essays and scientifical homeworks but this useless binge learning is really repulsive to me. But don't read this as a complaint, I know I won't get anywhere without working hard and doing shit I don't like but the way university works nowadays is not motivating either. Those binge learning tests were mainly introduced because the students are mainly not ready to study and lack a lot of knowledge to participate in academical discourse which makes everything else suffer.
I had always this notion of having a strong aversion against doing things I have to do, which leads to suffering often.
>>
No. 783 Kontra
Holy shit fuck government buildings.

-Super serious tryhard guards

-line is super huge behind me full of people trying to get welfares or whatever

-372614 conversations happening at once like some multicultural bazaar

And the employee I deal with first thing is going to have a "waaaah I hate mondays poor me I'm so tired :(" look on her dumb face.

Person right behind me was gossipping about a tranny at work. Lol
>>
No. 784
>>783
>And the employee I deal with first thing is going to have a "waaaah I hate mondays poor me I'm so tired :(" look on her dumb face.
It's the default look in government buildings.
They don't work if you don't poke frequently enough.
>>
No. 789
>>772
5 years or so I suppose. I still have to work and I've had periods where I left the house once per week or something, but for most of that period I was as shut-in as a part-time wageslave can be.
>>
No. 790
playing battlefield 1942
>>
No. 792
>>789

5 years damn. It's a comfy lifestyle for sure.

I had to get out of it because I am a sheepie-normie-keinbernd-blue pilled-cuck that deep down yearns for a social life even if it's terrifying and difficult. Living like that made everything boring, now it's all fun again.

But if it suits you keep on going, it's the masterrace lifestyle for sure. Only better if you're surviving off neetbux or autismbux too. Do you still work? What do you do?

>>784

I was so pessimistic and wrong. She was a smiling and energetic Asian grille and we completed my application in like 5 minutes.

But your post was helpful in that I was so prepared to poke and poke if I had to.
>>
No. 795
>>783
well government jobs are a safe bet, at least here in germany but holy shit they are boring and non-satisfying I can tell you from what I experienced...

I had did a year working a side job in some city administration/agency. I had to be outside a lot checking for things in the city and I imagined it hell going there 5 days a week sitting in an office chair infront of a computer. Not all jobs the public administrations offer are absolute shit tho your example sounds like it is one of those depressing jobs without any potential for identification
>>
No. 797
>>792
>I was so pessimistic and wrong. She was a smiling and energetic Asian grille and we completed my application in like 5 minutes.
Sometimes Sun shines bright, congrats.
I remember I was trying to get tax return - I opened a bank account specifically for that. Since I had to go I couldn't get the return personally in cash, so I thought it was a great option.
You now what? I came in last week with question where's my money, and they said "Oh, we don't know, what's this bank registry number? We didn't find it in your task return request!"
Man, you work with money EVERYDAY, why you don't know what's bank registry number even by accident?
A week of poking, I got my money in cash because it was simpler and I had a free week.
>>
No. 800
>>795

What were you checking for?

Also what you said about government jobs have a reputation like that here as well.

>>797

This kind of thing is stressful. It's like some people are working in bureaucratic positions but lack the bureaucratic mind and so they just mess things up or say wrong things constantly.

I tried the process about 6 months ago and basically hit a wall with the lady. It's nice to have it settled today.
>>
No. 805
>>800
>What were you checking for?

Access points to groundwater.
Quite interesting the city has quite a lot (>2000 I think) and you can see the change in time, usually they had a photo from the 70s and 80s and since they GSP they had was broken the time I worked there it was also broken before I had to find them with sketches.
I had one that is now located in the green between highway ramps but was on open field 40 years ago. Also some built in small forests etc you likely will never find them again, well I sometimes was lucky.
>>
No. 807
>>795
>boring government job
just become police officer like Sascha!
>>
No. 808
I've got the house to myself this week for the first time in at least a year. I'd forgotten how nice that is, especially with how the weathers been lately. I can finally decompress, relax, get my shit in order and there is no dealing with the little things that annoy you about other people existing.

Even doing the ironing was a lovely, zen experience. Makes me wonder why anyone bothers with all the stress of going on holiday when you can relax at home.

>>780
>I had always this notion of having a strong aversion against doing things I have to do, which leads to suffering often.

We all know that feel. Going to university to study a topic I was passionately interested in was the best experience of my life but I hated testing and the lecturers that were anal on attendance which therefore killed the vibe of being there because you were an adult who wanted to be there.

Give me a nice seminar on a nebulous topic so we can have an open ended academic discussions or even mountain of essay writing any-day and I will of course do the essays at the last possible minute even with an extension.
>>
No. 809
Ahhhhh my haircut didn't turn out like I wanted, I just got out of there. I guess it looks okay but at first honestly I was close to crying.

I have one more errand to do and also am needing to grab lunch, then I can smoke w33d and play runescape for the rest of today.
>>
No. 810
>>808

I like this feeling. My roommate was gone for 3 days, it's amazing how relaxing it is.

Living with others is such a headache.
>>
No. 813
9 kB, 251 × 223
My best friend just proofread a project I've finished and am submitting later this week. I asked him to write a list of every correction needed in each section, along with any passages he felt needed rewritten. It isn't a long list and I'm happy about having the typos pointed out, especially since I'm a quick reader and find that if I've skipped a preposition or something my brain will fill in the gap and I won't notice it. But I hate having my style of writing critiqued and it's actually made me stop halfway through the list and procrastinate with, well, this post for one thing.

This is ridiculous. He's done me a big favour and it shouldn't bother me in the slightest. Besides, it's a project write-up, not a piece of creative writing that's close to my heart.

Why am I so thin-skinned?
>>
No. 817
>>813

>Why am I so thin-skinned?

I so badly want to play armchair psychologist. But mostly out of curiosity with no solutions.

If we gathered a good amount of thin skinned people together and interviewed them, what was the ratio of negative/positive reinforcement they were given by their parents?

Idk dude it's probably just a self esteem issue in any case.
>>
No. 824
>>813
Because you care. It takes me at least a good week to go over corrections at times because of how I identify with what I write.

My trick is to allow myself to get angry at the insufferable, pedantic brainlets I share this plane of existence with. Then I remember that the person who will ultimately be reading my work is the same. It's not your fault, it's the world's and when doing your corrections remember that you're writing to peons who need everything simplified - use your arrogance to build a better tomorrow.
>>
No. 828
>>824
>>813
What are you writing?
Prose, scientifical stuff or journalism?
>>
No. 830
>>828
How does one even get a job in technical writing or journalism or whatever without connections in this day and age?
>>
No. 840
131 kB, 391 × 580
3,5 MB, 3800 × 4368
234 kB, 700 × 450
>>780
Heh hey check this out
>Guppies have the mating system called polyandry, where females mate with multiple males. Multiple mating is beneficial for males because the males' reproductive success is directly related to how many times they mate. The cost of multiple mating for males is very low because they do not provide material benefit to the females or parental care to the offspring.

>Female guppies mate again more actively and delay the development of a brood when the anticipated second mate is more attractive than the first male. Experiments show that remating females prefer a novel male to the original male or a brother of the original male with similar phenotypes. Females' preference for novel males in remating can explain the excessive phenotypic polymorphism in male guppies

>Female guppy choice plays an important role in multiple mating. Female guppies are attracted to brightly colored males, especially ones with orange spots on the flanks. Orange spots can serve as an indicator of better physical fitness, as orange-spotted males are observed to swim longer in a strong current. There is also the concept of color association to possibly explain mate choice since one of the food sources wild guppies compete vigorously for is the fruit of cabrehash trees (Sloanea laurifolia), an orange carotenoid-containing fruit....Because of this connection, females are possibly selecting for healthy males with superior foraging abilities by choosing mates with bright orange carotinoid pigments, thus increasing the survival chance of her offspring. Due to the advantage in mating, male guppies evolve to have more ornamentation across generations in low-predation habitats where the cost of being conspicuous is lower. The rate and duration of courtship display of male guppies also play an important role in female guppies' mating choice. Courtship behavior is another indicator of fitness due to the physical strength involved in maintaining the courtship dance, called sigmoid display, in which the males flex their bodies into an S shape and vibrate rapidly.

>Female mating choice may also be influenced by another female's choice. In an experiment, female guppies watched two males, one solitary and the other actively courting another female, and were given a choice between the two. Most females spent a longer time next to the male that was courting. Female guppies' preference for fit males allows their descendants to inherit better physical fitness and better chance of survival.

Even fish bernst, even fish

I guess it's actually funny but sad because you eventually get locked out of things and it's hard to get back in. I would imagine being homeless for like a year would make your chances at even reintegration pretty much hopeless. Meanwhile the one person with multiple females around is only going to attract more females. So. I guess it is just like some idiot like Keith Rainiere.

It is funny how much you can learn by just being among life and actually observing it to gain insight into the essential truths. The lesson: be vibrant and strong and high energy to attract gf, and women are biologically traitorous by design. It heightens genetic diversity and introduces hybrid vigor while trying to go after the best, strongest, most high energy, most flashy and most desirable male. They are by design biologically programmed to do this and be traitors, just as men are by biological design built to go after multiple women.
>>
No. 842
>>830
I had three answers to three people here but internet connection fucked it up.

So here is the short for you:

Twitter and blogs, eventually somebody will notice you and offer to write a text for newspaper/magazine etc

t. wants to write for a living somehow but never actually writes coherent texts other than in uni
>>
No. 845 Kontra
>>830
Step one: Get a general idea of what you want to do before thinking about how to do it.

>>840
Do we really need this shit here? I get that not getting any hole is annoying but there are plenty of lonely women in the world.
>>
No. 849
>>845
>Step one: Get a general idea of what you want to do

could you be more precise on that one?
inb4. just think...any technique? I just lately heard somebody talk about working on a question split it in small parts/questions etc, basically this is just like in university, oh well maybe I'm just a lazy cunt
>>
No. 866
208 kB, 498 × 352
The cashier asked me for my ID today. I was buying a beer mix drink you are allowed to buy with 16. I'm 25 already. I guess your face just ages slower if you never see the sun or never move those face muscles from social isolation.
>>
No. 868
I've done some work on this and that projects, not much but a bit of progress on several fronts at least.
Now I'm spending some time learning (and practicing) modeling and animation in blender, which is always a nice thing for a quiet evening.

Also, I like how cozy ernstchan.xyz is, reminds me of ernstchan.com during autumn and winter.
>>
No. 872
>>866
Grow a beard. Between the dark undereyes, and facial hair I've had people think I'm almost a decade older than I actually am.

t. facial hair expert
>>
No. 875
Cried a lot.

Also baked some bread. (It has the best efficiency of cost to nutrition, health and taste.)
>>
No. 878
Today I had a vision of a guy who's a regular at the pub I often visit. He is quite an ordinary guy. In fact you could say that he's the most ordinary guy you'll ever meet. I've never talked to him, and I've never seen him talking to someone else. He comes alone, and he just sits at the very same place at the bar every Friday night and drinks his wheat beer. If for some unfortunate reason his place at the bar is already taken, he switches to his backup place, which is just at the other corner of the bar. I named him Burkhardt, because this is the name someone like him could very well be called. It sounds cozy and chilled out, and you'll probably don't suspect a guy called Burkhardt to be too exciting, annoying, aggressive, extrovert or anything. Of course not, why would he? He's Burkhardt. He's there, that's plenty. No need to add that it was a very peaceful vision, because, frankly, if peace had a face, it would be Burkhardt's.

Of course his name is not really Burkhardt. I think someone even told me what his name really is, but I already forgot, because he will forever be Burkhardt in my heart. Burkhardt is not ugly or otherwise offensive, he is just the protoype of the low-key introvert with no apparent properties. He is probably 30 years old. He is not noticably small, but he surely isn't tall either, maybe 1,72 or 1,75. He also isn't fat, but he surely isn't slim either, a visible belly bulges under his otherwise unnotable shirt. For your imagination: He's blonde - or better said: That what's left of his hair is blonde, there's a small bald spot in the center of his head, and he's got a cozy, blonde, full beard, and some stikingly unremarkable glasses. While all the others aruond him drink a lot, shout around and behave like jerks, he's just there, sitting, drinking his wheat beer and silently looking straight in front of him, the head slightly tilted down, always both arms crossed on the table. I also don't know how long he stays, because I leave early because I'm quite boring, too. But I'm boring in the boring way, while Burkhardt emits a philosophical aura of boredom. He is probably some kind of Zen master, but I'm not sure if he knows. Maybe he could give anger management classes. His pure presence might be enough to deescalate any kind of conflict. They should try sending him on vacation to Gaza, I'd not be surprised if we witness a sudden breakout of peace and harmony in the whole middle east.

One day I might take a seat next to Burkhardt and ask him if he wants to discuss the economic output of the ottoman empire in the late 16th century.
>>
No. 879
>>872
Unfortunately I don't have the best beard growth. It just wouldn't look good on me with a lot of bald spots on my face.
>>
No. 880
>>879
get wrinkles :DDD

I don't get asked for my ID any longer since I grew a mustache, everything else looks stupid wannabe beard

t. has patchy beard everywhere except under his nose
>>
No. 884
17 kB, 300 × 72
>>878
>While all the others aruond him drink a lot, shout around and behave like jerks, he's just there, sitting, drinking his wheat beer and silently looking straight in front of him, the head slightly tilted down, always both arms crossed on the table.

I sometimes contemplate doing this, finding a pub to just have a beer on the way home in the evening or something and chill for a while. But I never do it because I'll probably just look pathetic and not like a somber philosophical Zen master.
>>
No. 887
>>849
Well you can try a method I adapted from Dale Carnegie that has served me well in making big decisions. It helps with anxiety as well.

Step One: Physically get a pen and paper and write up some viable options of industries\careers you would might like to be involved in. Just some paths you think you could follow and some of the pluses and minuses that come to mind with following them. Try to think about what activities made you happy and what you're good at

Step Two: Remember to also consider 'what's the worst that could happen?' Not to be a downer, quite the opposite actually because fuck it all.

Step Three: You will quickly get a gut feeling of which path you would prefer to take and can go from there. Follow your gut because its better at making decisions when you're faced with a mountain of variables to choose from.

Step Four: Do it.

p.s. I have no idea how to life, I mostly end up falling into things. Man plans, God laughs.

>>866
Why worry? Maybe real worry is that in 10 years other people will look 35.
>>
No. 914
38 kB, 469 × 224
>>875
Why did you cry?
>>
No. 923
214 kB, 1300 × 700
Got up early today, did some reading and proceeded to get high afterwards. Later I'll take the bus to uni and eat in the cafeteria.
Really cozy morning so far.
>>
No. 930
I seen a long and crazy dream.
Like I posted giant walls of text on imageboard. It was not EC - it had white color as primary everywherr and some other color like bright blue or red or something like that on border. Some finn was responding me.

First part of conversation was about some sort of shopping malls. I seen by my eyes something like video from 90s in russia how square and kinda ugly half soviet half modern shopping mls with yellow and dark blue collors was at fire and how firefighters trying to safe this giant buildings but failing.

Then conversation was moved in more historical direction. I talk about how in late-mid 30s stalin tried to attack japan occupied taiwan(of cource this not existed in real life but this was real in dream). This taiwan looked like total tundra like northen siberia and I seen small scenes from it - soldiers that hide behind rocks, they using АВС-36 semi automatic rigles, one with relistic tesla gun who shoot lightning that you can spot only in a second.

We obviously failed there like in finnish war and then I seen some small part of some foreign west parody movie on it: stalin with commanders around map on table.. you know this maps where they put on minuature kbjects of tanks and ships and things. And there in center of island platform with enemy tanks on map. Stalin by using thing like.. you know cue with a shovel-like thing to move miniatures on the map moving this platform away to sea and repeating: "Now this bunker protected! Yes!". Like he thinks that if he moving miniature on map, same will happen in real life immideatly. Bunker marked on map by half miniature half paiting of soviet soldier with dong outside entrance of bunker in you know soviet propoganda psitings of that time.

Then I get up and go to toilet. When you get up so fast and it is 4am it hard to understand what happening around. I sit on toiled doing poo poo pee pee and for some reason think that if pootin do same it easy for everyone to just capture country because pootine in toiled. Then because while sittion on toiled I like back to dream for like 10 seconds, when I get yp again I thought that this is real - pootine now in toiled because I in toiled. And same time some group of freedom fighters like I dunno navalny battle squad or something lol capturing cremlin. And untill I sit in toilet - pootine sit in toiled and will can't do anything with it.
>>
No. 935
102 kB, 736 × 578
Had to go to work yesterday, breaking my 7 day isolation streak. Back into it now though, probably looking at another 6 or 7 days of close to total isolation. Will have to get food but I can do that at 11:30PM at the grocery store that closes at midnight near my flat.

Also, the noises everywhere are still driving me mad. It's nothing specific, it's just the screaming loud noise of existence drilling into my brain from all sides. All the voices that I hear outside my window or through the walls mixes in with cars and the movement of air into a constant white noise. It feels like I'm sitting under a airburst with all that noise washing down over me, drowning everything else out. It doesn't help that I already feel distant from reality and more often than not find the worlds of my escapism more relatable than the one I inhabit. It's almost as though I sustain this body purely to exist on another plane in my dreams or imagination. Feels weird man.
>>
No. 940
319 kB, 750 × 422
Why breakfast menu can't be available all the time?
Evening is a perfect time to wake up, and after waking up there must be breakfast.
>>
No. 942
>>940
Typically because kitchens can't accomodate separate areas for both a breakfast and lunch/dinner menu. The whole premises must be used for preparing the relevant dishes at each time.
>>
No. 944
>>942
This.
t. kitchen worker

Also, is all day breakfast not a thing in Russia? It's not uncommon here to be able to get a Full English for dinner.
>>
No. 946
>>940
FUCK breakfast
I remember how wauted hour untill in 10am macdonalds changed breakfast menu into normal burgers
>>
No. 948
>>944
I only heard about all-day breakfast in other countries.
>>946
They can serve you dishes from common menu in KFC during breakfast times.
>>
No. 961
I did fucking nothing today, I just realized. I'm planning to log off at around 10 o' clock, and then I'll read 'till midnight and I'll go to bed then. Tomorrow I'll return the shit I have with me to the school library and then I'll be done with everything.
>>
No. 962
>>935
Sounds interesting tbh, I only have that in short phases thanks to my former drug abuse. Its definitely not as deep as yours situation sounds.
It's like exploring a totally different world and I like the imagination of it.

I wonder if you would be suitable for writing. Not writing about the situation specifically but if you would let it flow and write actual fiction that is only loosely based on your living conditions. Put the mind mumbojumbo in some different context than your own.
>>
No. 964 Kontra
84 kB, 604 × 453
>>960
>>959
Come on, guys, this is literally Kohl tier.
>>
No. 997
>>964
Why was it deleted and not just banned? Too much EC tier for me.
Bumparing a general
>>
No. 999 Kontra
>>997
No reason to ban I suppose, because it stopped right afterwards. Maybe they even deleted it themselves.
>>
No. 1005
>>962
Tbh, I'm no good at prose. I'm working on a history book but it's a long way off and I'm still working on the introduction and preliminary research. Besides that, I'm mostly a consumer of escapism, I'm not inclined to create it, even were I equipped to do so.
>>
No. 1006
237 kB, 1181 × 707
775 kB, 1181 × 786
651 kB, 1181 × 786
370 kB, 786 × 1181
Woke up and saw that there was dense fog outside the window. Immediately got dressed, took my camera and went outside. The early morning, before anyone else wakes up, is always atmospheric, but in fog it's especially nice. Seeing this I decided to go for a longer walk and into the woods. It was about 6:20.
>>
No. 1007
579 kB, 1181 × 786
864 kB, 1181 × 786
574 kB, 786 × 1181
462 kB, 1181 × 786
>>1004
Then I got a glimpse of the fields through the trees and when a bit of wind started to move the leaves the scene had a vibe of Jules Verne or Lovecraft. So I went onwards and into the fields.
>>
No. 1008
>>1007
huh, meant to quote >>1006

Anyway, there are a bunch more pictures to filter out, but I have to start working now. I can continue this later, if anyone wants to see them. Until then, I'll enjoy this Sencha and hopefully have a productive morning in this cozy atmosphere :3
>>
No. 1009
75 kB, 1280 × 720
>>1006
>>1007
Pretty ebin. It's nice to have places such as these nearby. I also live near the woods and I plan to explore them with my bike. Until today I avoided them, because I have bad orientation, so I preferred using the roads. But now I'm equipped with some specialized navigation apps, and a suitable bike which should at least be able to handle ways like shown in your pictures.
>>
No. 1010
33 kB, 284 × 284
My laptop's cable has given up the ghost after about a year of just normal usage. The build quality was so poor that it just sheared off at the joint between the cable and the bit that plugs into the laptop itself. I've jury rigged it with lots of tape to tie the cable into a position that still works and keep it there. I'm sure that'll work fine, why worry?
t. computer repair expert

Even more reason to bite the bullet and finally drop the money on a real computer, but shit's so expensive just for parts, even assuming I know what to get, and I'm not confident in my ability to assemble one either so I'd also be paying for the computer shop to put it together. Probably still worth it but I'm cheap as all hell and hate dropping lots of money on things, even when it's something I really want.
t. nod really computer repair expert
>>
No. 1014
>>1005
> I'm mostly a consumer of escapism, I'm not inclined to create it, even were I equipped to do so.

I can identify.
The thing is I'm basically learning how to write history books in uni. I would rather catch onto commentating the current/capitalism or write prose but yeah the ladder seems so fucking far away I will never do do it anyway.
>>
No. 1016 Kontra
>>997
>>999
We thought that participants of discussion (pure shitposting) were reasonable enough to stop after their posts had been deleted.
If you want to discuss the style of moderation, you are welcome to open a thread in /meta/ where we can continue talking on this topic.
>>
No. 1037
461 kB, 1181 × 786
358 kB, 1181 × 786
395 kB, 1181 × 786
265 kB, 1181 × 786
>>1007
It was really silent up there in the fields.
>>
No. 1041
I brought a new computer chair. It was actually still less comfortable than my old one so I gave it to my family.
>>
No. 1042
>>1037
really cozy, we almost never have fog here.

I wish I would live in some cozy british town at the north sea coast where fog is roaming the streets in the morning
>>
No. 1045
352 kB, 1181 × 786
352 kB, 1181 × 786
378 kB, 1181 × 786
360 kB, 786 × 1181
>>1037
I am editing these as little as possible to keep the atmosphere. There is lots more information in the RAWs and I could bring the colours out more, but that wouldn't properly represent how calm and eary it felt.
So far I hadn't seen a single human being, but it felt like I had walked a full circle at the time and should be facing towards the forest again. But then I reached the crossways and was slightly puzzled. Standing there for a while, looking in every direction, all quiet and just breathing in the cold air and listening to the rustling of leaves. It really felt like a great setting for a lovecraftian short... and then I heard some faint panting to my left (image 4). Pretty certainly not a human sound and since I'm a wuss I started walking in the next best direction that I thought would lead back to the city (and away from the panting noise).
>>
No. 1046
357 kB, 1181 × 786
>>1045
After a few seconds the sound was there again and I turned around to see this. No human in sight though, so I kept walking and hoped that it wouldn't follow me.
>>
No. 1050
409 kB, 1181 × 786
711 kB, 1181 × 786
302 kB, 786 × 1181
269 kB, 1181 × 631
>>1046
Finally I found the trees again, but it wasn't the same way I came.
There was a bit of wind and the fog lifted for a few minutes, but then returned even thicker (compare images 2 and 3). It was around 7:15 when I saw the horse and the level of coziness went through the roof :3
>>
No. 1062
1,7 MB, 3264 × 2448
Selling asparagus
>>
No. 1063
>>1050
>>1046
Great photos!
>>
No. 1104
>>1046
fugg :DDD

Better going around on a bicycle (can easily get out of troubles) or a motorcycle (just scares everything away)

Very nice pictures BTW.
>>
No. 1105
531 kB, 800 × 616
>>1104
>Better going around on a bicycle (can easily get out of troubles)
I once went through the woods with my bike and encountered a female wild pig with little piggy kids. I was lucky that it didn't decide that I was a threat, because I couldn't have done anything. The road wasn't too good there, and I was already exhausted, so I could have accelerated to maybe 20-25km/h, and I would have needed a few seconds for it. In that time the pig would have tackled me into oblivion.
>>
No. 1114
640 kB, 786 × 1181
399 kB, 1153 × 747
495 kB, 786 × 1181
>>1104
Oh, you must be the swissball who drives around on his bike to make photos at night. Nice to see you here.

To complete the story: After a few more minutes through the forrest, I was back on the street and could find my way home. It's incredible how quickly the fog dissipates in the streets compared to the forrest, there are only a few minutes between images 1 and 2.
>>
No. 1115
>ride under interactive screen
>screen usually shows traffic map and weather forecast in next hours
>WE CONGRATULATE RUSSIAN TEAM WITH VICTORY IN THE MATCH
>check news
oh wow
>>
No. 1117
529 kB, 699 × 630
I wrote to a girl that seems very interesting.
Feel a bit nervous and aroused somehow, but I try to be calm.
Hope we could establish good communication
>>
No. 1119
I like these threads so much, I'm reading now on my break.

so far today I've been pretty quiet at work. I came in almost an hour late, I didn't set alarms because I accidentally cried myself to sleep over a work related issue.

I think I am done being le sociable and humorous coworker, I don't get anything nice out of it.

I could go to HR and get people sternly warned and at risk of being fired if I wanted, but I'm just not that kind of person. I'm moving very soon anyway so it doesn't really matter.

We even had some company "interpersonal relations" person interview different peons and do an investigation on why so many people were rapidly quitting.
>>
No. 1127
I'm eating diner now and will then read the end of a short introduction on Marxism by Lefebvre or Baudrillard Essay about the simulation of emancipation and the banality that comes with the simulation as far as I could gather that from the introductory chapter or and introduction on narrative techniques in literature which is crucial for my studies, I missing all the methodological instruments for now and I already am in my 2nd literature semester

I wonder if Ernst would be interested in reading shorter texts by contemporary thinkers and talk about it freely without shit throwing kohl tier ofc but I think we have the right atmosphere for that.
>>
No. 1129
>>1119
That sounds like some co-workers forming groups to bully poeple, like kids on a schoolyard. What kind of job is that you have?

>>1117
I wish you luck <3

ITT: Spent one hour doing the dishes and simultaneously cooking. Tomato-Mozarella-Tortelloni in a sauce of fresh vegetables, white wine and créme fraîche, it was very delicious :3
>>
No. 1131
>>1127
I'd be down for that, don't have much time though. Baudrillard has interested me for some time now, but I haven't read anything from him so far. Wanna recommend some shorter text? I could read it over the weekend if it's less than 30 pages (I'm slow because I take notes and try to avoid reading over stuff half-minded).
>>
No. 1133
>>1131
Currently I have Transparenz des Bösen. I read the introductory chapter today. I don't have much time either because I have alot of other stuff to read everyday and it is a mix between taking notes and reading it half minded.

The good thing is we could just post a pdf of said text or maybe just a blog post and discuss it over time. No need to make special appointments. ofc we should not post a text every week then but see how it evolves generally.

I heard that Agonie des Realen from Merve Verlag Berlin is a gathering of shorter essays by Baudrillard and all the more basic ones that give an introduction to is simulation thoughts, the 70s stuff is more consumer critic than simulation afaik.

Just check the net for Agonie des Realen and look what you can find out about it. I have just take a glance so far but plan on buying it.
>>
No. 1134
>>1119
Seeing as how you're leaving soon anyway, have you thought about giving them a piece of your mind?

>>1127
Like a book club? I've thought about it before but only if we could get some variation, perhaps by organising to take it in turns in choosing texts. Also, like >>1131 I tend to be a slow reader which might be common amongst imageboard users.

Maybe 30~ pages a week.
>>
No. 1135
>>1134
>Like a book club? I've thought about it before but only if we could get some variation, perhaps by organising to take it in turns in choosing texts.

Yes! A reading group.

I would also insist on less than 30p/week, just short texts one can talk about a bit.
But I have to admit I'm more interested on things like Baudrillard, theories and comments on society, the amalgam of society/philosophy interconnected with capitalism. But in the end I would also read other texts but not some mathematical papers or about some specific molecular biology, because that's far away from my knowledge. I really kept in mind that the topic is bound to society/philosophy in the end.
Perhaps we could also read short classics, essays that are widely known etc
>>
No. 1136
31 kB, 349 × 499
>>1133
Heh, I looked on Amazon to find the ISBN (so I can buy it in my local book store) and what do I find? It costs 10 Euros on Amazon, but the image is a photo of the cover with a price of "DM 9,-". Wolfram sais that 10 EUR would be 19,56 DM today[1]. This is actually a really nice fit for the topic of Baudrillards simulakra, isn't it?

[1] http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=10+EUR+in+DM
>>
No. 1137 Kontra
>>1135
The only problem I see is that we all have very different backgrounds concerning this which makes choosing a text difficult I think.
>>
No. 1138
>>1136
>This is actually a really nice fit for the topic of Baudrillards simulakra, isn't it?

I'm not so sure about that since I haven't understand his concept of simulation really. But I want to change that. Agonie des Realen gathers text that are in the english version called simulation and simulacra.
>>
No. 1139
83 kB, 302 × 389
I took back the books to the school library. Not like anyone would have needed them over the summer or whenever, since the texts I took out were either obscure or had multiple copies laying around but it felt better to just get this thing off my shoulders.
Otherwise not much has been accomplished during this day. I picked up the package I've been waiting for and I finally ordered a German copy of the Nibelungenlied.
Now I'm awaiting one last exam and I'll be done with everything for this year. I'm sort of already done, it feels empty. There is still some time left officially, but I don't have anything to do otherwise, I'm not even going in. Everything has been done. Do you know this feeling? It's like I'm in some idyllic limbo where time isn't moving.
>>
No. 1140
>>1134
>>1131
>>1127
I'd be interested in the reading group as well. Haven't read anything from Baudrillard as well but would like to change that so an EC reading group might be a good starting point I think.
At the moment I'm out of money though so I won't be able to buy the book yet.

Do his texts translate well? It might lead to misunderstandings if everyone reads the translation in his own language, but when it comes to philosophy I'd definitely prefer reading it in german.
>>
No. 1141
>>1139
>Nibelungenlied

Oh boy, that thing can be a challenge even for native speakers.
>>
No. 1143
56 kB, 447 × 469
38 kB, 374 × 470
118 kB, 432 × 518
107 kB, 392 × 495
>>1139
Unrelated: Is there a collection of these kind of images? I already have 10 or so of them, but given the rate I'm seeing new ones, there are most likely tons of them around.
>>
No. 1144
>>1140
>I won't be able to buy the book yet

lib.gen should provide us with all books but I thought about shorter online texts or pdfs more than books which are rather long and need steady commitment in a group then

He is writing in french so either english or german would be translations, ofc I would prefer german as well but since this is an international board we should stick to english. Also his texts aren't easy, that's for sure but he is also very provocative. As I mentioned he said all the emancipations all the promises of modernity have failed and now they are just being simulated. whatever he means with that. it's about the circulation of pictures and communication in general, I mean the german transaltion is from 1992 and it reads like what we have with the internet today, I know it existed back then even for consumers but he was writing in an exaggerating manner, provocing thoughts I suspect and it fits the bill nearly 25 years later.
>>
No. 1145
>>1141
I'm halfway through the Hungarian translation and the edition I ordered is zweisprächig so I think I'll be able to manage it somewhat. At worst I'll consult a dictionary.
A really touching story. I still want to look at the Northern Version of it though in the Poetic Edda.
>>
No. 1147
>>1145
>I'll consult a dictionary

If you have a version with middle age german you won't come to far with an ordinary dictionary, usually the net will help you in that regard but old german can be tricky even for native speakers as sb. already mentioned
>>
No. 1148
>>1135
I was thinking along much the same lines once only with using scihub for journal articles. Skillset would be a problem naturally, but I think landmark papers in social sciences and humanities should be easy enough for Ernst to follow if we can get engaging and straightforward work.

Specifically, I'm thinking of the paper Anarchy is what states make of it which I've brought up a few times because at the halfway mark it get into a little science fiction and state of nature discussion. Maybe we could even start a little easier though and read some short stories.
>>
No. 1149
>>1147
I made sure it has a modern german and an old german version side by side.
>>
No. 1151
>>1148
>it get into a little science fiction and state of nature discussion

sounds interesting. I want to dive into the whole speculative realism turn in philosophy but I still have a pile to read first.

Fiction and poetics when it comes to theory is also a topic that interests me

This one sounds cool and a nice idea, they only want short texts <10p

https://alienocene.com/what-is-alienocene/
>>
No. 1156
Cut down a tree
Felt alive
>>
No. 1159
50 kB, 392 × 510
Today they off central heating for summer. But this day was first in long time kinda sunny so currently there is not cold in my apartment. But I feel it is matter of time before next cold rain with hailstones. I so don't want to on my heated, my heda ill from it.
>>
No. 1160
Second break, very close to being home where I can do laundry and play runescape or eu3.

>>1129
Yeah I hate these groups.

I work in a clothing store, so retail I guess. When I move I'm immediately trying to enter training for electrical stuff so I can start an apprenticeship, and hopefully not deal with peoplr in their 30s acting like high schoolers.

>>1134

I guess I could. Maybe just be like "btw Erna, you're a cunt" on my last day.

But that also isn't my style.
>>
No. 1161
Just when I thought I had a comfortable sleep routine in order I suddenly can't sleep REEEE

Summer can go suck a bag of ducks. At least in winter the cold air and rain could knock me out.

>>1160
>Maybe just be like "btw Erna, you're a cunt" on my last day. 

I recommend it. Such types feed upon the politeness drilled into us by society and can't cope with someone being upfront with them. Also it feels good.
>>
No. 1162
>>1161

Damn. Sleep troubles are the worst kinda imo.

I play rain white noise now when I can't sleep. At first it was soley to block out noise but it's kind of a lullaby now.
>>
No. 1163
>>1161

Also

>Such types feed off the politeness drilled into us by society

I've broken this barrier before just for the rush of it(combined with frustration), it's great how they sometimes their body language is just terrified.

>>1159

I know your pain! Heating is off in my building too and I get so cold at night.

Worse is the guy I live with is a combo of obese and getting drunk almost every night, so he's all warm and opening his window because he claims to be overheating meanwhile my faggot body is shivering.
>>
No. 1174
305 kB, 753 × 960
>>1010
It fully died today. It's not going to last long enough to transition to a new PC so I'll need to go outside and buy a cable for it. Why the fug are they nearly AU$90?

It's been a rough few months. I get valuables stolen, lose one of my main imageboards, have various other things break and now this. Plus I'm not getting anything resembling enough money from work to cover all these expenses.
>>
No. 1177
67 kB, 768 × 609
>>1174
Ask for a raise

Or sell various grubs to put on your cock as an aphrodesiac. Remember, there are plenty of Chinese in your land who have yet to be exposed to the wonders of pulverized cane beetle oil as a magical cure for impotence and lack of libido. Get some mates to make sexy poses to put on the packaging and ensure the Chinese that this is a closely guarded secret of the mighty virile Australian man and that it will make Chinese men manly men too.
>>
No. 1178
19 kB, 462 × 434
>Moscow - 17°C
>Berlin - 19°C
>Mexico - 14°C
>Toledo - 21°C
>Tel-Aviv - 28°C
>Tbilisi - 24°C
>Milan - 23°C
>Palermo - 23°C

>Zaporizhia - 31°C
WHY, WHY DOES GOD LIKE TO TORTURE ME? My ancestors suffered for generations here so that I could just be born and continue to carry their tradition? I wanna get off this ride, every fucking year this polluted shithole turns into a big fucking infernal cauldron. When it will be the Westerners' turn to suffer?
>>
No. 1180
51 kB, 604 × 453
>>1178
Ukraine steppes is continuation of Kuban', Volgograd ones, which continuation of Kazahstan deserts. If wind go from kazahstan there nothing what can stop it.
>>
No. 1192
>>1178
>I suffer in the city on big river
Just go swimming mate
>>
No. 1204
104 kB, 640 × 426
>>1192
The river is full of garbage and industrial waste. I often saw things like in picrelated when I went to the river as a child, now it's should be even worse.
>>
No. 1205
I woke up in a normal mood, inexplicably became overcome with anxiety in the middle of the day and felt like vomiting, and then it wore off and I feel rather giddy now. No idea what that was all about.
>>
No. 1216
My neighbor dissed me.

I mean I know I'm a lowlife and any amerian HOA's nightmare, but at least I'm aware of it and humble. And I always try to be friendly and polite to people. But today the neighbor lady spent 10 minutes telling me how low she thinks of me.
>>
No. 1217
43 kB, 542 × 386
I just bought everything for a small and cheap diner that could turn out tasty. I also bought some sweets and dried chicken sticks.

I have a hard time not just leap at the sweets and the chicken sticks which are almost empty already.
If I would have done the dishes first it would have come different. And I thought I could establish a cleaning routine again...
>>
No. 1218 Kontra
>>1216
so what are her arguments if she don't know you?
>>
No. 1229
>>1205

Do you have a diagnosed anxiety disorder or do you suspect having one?
>>
No. 1234
>>1229
I certainly suspect I do. I suppose seeing a doctor wouldn't hurt, but since it's not a physical problem it seems like a waste of their time.
>>
No. 1244
>>1234
If your place is anything like Germany in that regard (and I realise that's a big if), then your regular doc will be able to refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist. Rather the latter as they are allowed to perscribe medication. In my experience though, anxiety disorder isn't immediately treated with medication, there is pretty effective therapy depending on the subject and in my case even a slight nudge without much therapy already helped to get me on the right track and basically fix the situation myself. Took a while, though.
>>
No. 1301
76 kB, 993 × 559
I'll go visit my barber soon. It's one of those common cheap shops where there are almost only young grillies, and most of them are cute. It doesn't matter to me that they maybe don't have the best skill, because I just need a cut, nothing special. And it's a nice feeling to have their fingers in my hair, for some reason I like that very much.

Sometimes, they have an older guy there, but he's okay too. I go there because it's cheap, and you don't need an appointment. The grillies are only bonus.
>>
No. 1368
51 kB, 1023 × 567
>>1244
i was diagnosed with anxiety disorder about a decade ago. the psychiatrist prescribed me pic related. 3 pills a day over 4 weeks then 2 pills then only 1 pill every 2 days etc. after 4 months i was done with the therapy and the anxiety never came back since then.
>>
No. 1406 Kontra
I am wearing a nice outfit today, but have had to take a massive shit all day so I feel ugly lol. I can shit in like 3 hours. I normally poop in the evening and I just ate too much fiber yesterday.
>>
No. 1427
64 kB, 481 × 406
I think I'm developing fatigue. I've slept for 14 hours for two days in a row and still find myself yawning and sleepy all day, and hard to get up and move about.

Here's to it being some kind of life-threatening condition that kills me in my sleep.
>>
No. 1428
>>1427
Have you been ignoring the alarm clock, or have you simply not set any alarm?
>>
No. 1430
>>1428
No alarm. It's only really been happening for the last week or so though. Usually I'm up around the same time every day.
>>
No. 1432
71 kB, 960 × 430
1,1 MB, 1140 × 1474
72 kB, 1280 × 720
I just found an article about a guy who bears a resemblance to Spede Pasanen. His name is Jürgen Schmidthuber, and he is a german AI researcher.
>>
No. 1435
>>1432
It must be nice to have something you can do that nobody else can. Especially in something difficult like that. It must make you feel like you have some level of dignity and worth as an individual.
>>
No. 1437
34 kB, 800 × 400
I suffered yesturday with +25°C
Today is +21°C but almost no wind. Well, I guess it's better to have wearther like that than +3/melting snow from grey sky when you have no central heating untill october.
It also nice to see that we already way over 1000 posts, long live the EC!
>>
No. 1438
>>1435
Yes, looking like Spede Pasanen is something all the other AI-researchers admire him for.
>>
No. 1439
I detest having the SAD. Now that Bongland is seeing sunlight again I seem to be waking up at 6am which made my Sunday morning quite infuriating.

>>1427
>I've slept for 14 hours for two days in a row and still find myself yawning and sleepy all day, and hard to get up and move about.

You overslept and feel tired in the morning like 103% of the human race. Go on a good hard run to blow the cobwebs out and then tell us how tired you feel.
>>
No. 1441
49 kB, 463 × 620
>>1435
I know what you mean. The saddest thing about the own existence is that you know that you are not making any kind of positive impact for the good of humanity. To push the limits of knowledge must be a really rewarding feeling. I thought a lot about how I should spend the rest of my life so that at the end I can say I made the best out of it. Since I most likely won't ever have a family, I will save most of my money and after my death donate it to sciene, maybe to some space exploration program, since this is what I think will be the (far) future for humanity: To explore space and build settlements there.

In the meantime I might look for things I can do for my local community, but this will be difficult, because I don't enjoy working with people very much. Maybe a could be a sports coach, since that is what I know best, but then I don't really enjoy the company of children. Not that I hate them or so, but I don't know what to say to them, and they're noisy. Not their fault, I know, but I can't help it, maybe best to just avoid them. Earlier, I donated some money every month to NGOs lie red cross, but I stopped doing that, because sometimes I doubt that they really help in the long term, and they also bugged me a lot sending begging letters with wide-eyed black children on it. I now support the local firefighters, because they sent a letter once that their equipment was outdated and they need monies real bad.

>>1437
As I grew older, my ability to take heat is declining more and more. In my youth, I enjoyed 30 degrees every day. Nowadays I start complaining when temperatures rise above 25, and the months I enjoy most are not July and August any more, but March / April and September / October. Comfy temperatures during the day, so it's fun to be outside, and nice and fresh in the morning and evening, so it's nice to have the balcony door wide open while enjoying a hot cup of tea.
>>
No. 1442
I panicked about living and dying alone and crazy. I have a few friends but big groups and social gatherings with their sociability make me feel like I'm never part of it and I don't know why really, it's not like I'm not part of the talks but ofc I'm not the one loved by all but more of a shadow that still leaves its trace on less than a handful of people.
I have to hide my depression to be sociable and accepted mostly. I cannot talk about how I think about ending the spook that is called my life. Going into the nothing again, finally the entropy of though and reflection. no more positioning of the self in a social fabric.

It really feels like a struggle to keep my mind intact and the worse is I dream about cutting all lines in order to live in piece but I know need other people and I want love. Shit.

I don't even know if it's worse to be alone or to live the way I do now.

And I also wonder how common this fear is in other NT people, I'm quite sure I'm not the only one who suffers like this.
>>
No. 1445
>>1441
For me it's not wanting to help people, it's just preferring to not be extraneous and utterly replaceable filth and have some reason to consider myself above a pile of trash. I take perverse pleasure in knowing that someone is going to miss out on organs because I never signed for it and to make doubly sure, there's a no-donor clause in my will. It's kind of comforting to know that one of my last acts on this world will be to spite it.

Though I would rather donate my money to nuclear terrorists aiming for an extinction level event than to people trying to keep this joke going. It's the height of hubris to think that other planets somehow need humans shitting them up like we did our own planet. All that happens is you double or triple or more the amount of human suffering in the universe and irreperably damage the existing state of many worlds. Better to irreparably destroy Earth and spare the rest of the universe than try and fix the problem once it has escaped containment.
>>
No. 1465
166 kB, 900 × 598
>>1445
Damn Australia, that's rough. I've seen a lot of self-hate on the internet, but extending it to wanting all humanity to become extinct is a whole new level. I am aware of the philosophical argument that life is so horrible that it's not worth living at all, but I think that you should decide that for yourself, and not for others. Of course children are not asked if they want to be born in this world, but then I think that this kind of reasoning is a luxury phenomenon: Survival is no challenge any longer, and that is why we stopped valuing life. Still, I see the poorest and unluckiest people on earth dancing and smiling, so maybe it's just our own hollywood induced expectations of personal heroism and the fallacy that destiny owes us tons of friends and a 7/10-GF, which make us believe that we are failures. I for one find solace in the fact that I am nothing special at all, and that I will live a meaningless life which will soon be forgotten. When you realize that you don't need to be special, it takes a huge burden off your shoulders.
>>
No. 1471
>>1465
I know it sounds quite rough and I would not spent money to nuclear terrorism but when you lead a meaningless life, why lead it at all? How can life has a value then if it is without any meaning?

I think you are confusing points or words yourself and I think you wanted to say something different, perhaps like meaning can be generated from small things etc.

It is nowhere written that life has to be valuable tho.

On another note I just had a stroll thru the city and public transport. City is so quite before the WC match, only some slavs I'm quite sure it was a russian flags drive thru the center honking, did they win?

Also two notes on integration and downfall of the west:
I saw two train drivers talking to each other the one who was enthusiastically talking about his tour he mention the stations he had passed was a brown skinned man, train autism really is not tied to races. In pubblic transport there was a brown skinned family with german colors in their faces and the kids where talking about their german trikots they have.
These people are more german than many germans.
>>
No. 1472
>>1471
>drive thru the center honking, did they win?
We won saudi arabia 5:0 or something
>>
No. 1473
262 kB, 1280 × 720
I don't get it, I just don't get it. Why do people do things that are objectively bad for them? They smoke, they eat toxic foods, they watch brainless drivel instead of expanding their minds with books, or they choose partners that are bad for them.

It's really not so hard to make good decisions yet I'm seeing this over and over. Is it just the fate of mankind to constantly shoot himself in the foot as the smart few look on in agony(or even to the point of just saying: good riddance)?

Ashley, you are one such person. You have thrown away your potential as a person with who you choose to be with and you've done this repeatedly. You had the option to choose someone smart, wise, and witty who actually respects you... yet you choose some dumb brute.

Remember the times we walked home from school together, and you hugged me goodbye? Remember when we sat in biology class together, and how hard we were laughing when dissecting that frog? Remember all the times I comforted you when one of your friends or your boyfriend had betrayed you? How can you not see we are perfect for each other?

Ashley, you put me in the friendzone and for that I'm putting you in the retribution zone.
>>
No. 1474 Kontra
>>1473
is this ironic or actual diary entry?
>>
No. 1487 Kontra
117 kB, 467 × 700
>>1473
> and how hard we were laughing when dissecting that frog?
This whole thing reads like copypasta but this part in particular made me life
>>
No. 1496
>>1471
>perhaps like meaning can be generated from small things etc.
You can, if you like to. I do, but I don't know if this is even necessary. Why do you need meaning for everything? Chances are good that we wouldn't comprehend the meaning if there was any, since our understanding of the universe, time, life and death, or whatever that meaning revolves around, is not developed enough.
>I think you are confusing points or words yourself and I think you wanted to say something different,
I thought my last sentence would make that clear: "I for one find solace in the fact that I am nothing special at all, and that I will live a meaningless life which will soon be forgotten. When you realize that you don't need to be special, it takes a huge burden off your shoulders". I don't really need a meaning or a higher mission to find joy in life, and I don't feel the need to be something special, so I'm not angry if I spend time alone at home or if grills don't like me.
>>
No. 1497
>>1496

you said in the post before

>this kind of reasoning is a luxury phenomenon: Survival is no challenge any longer, and that is why we stopped valuing life.

at the same time you said your life is meaningless which I equal with life that has no value, so your argent against the aussie/kiwi did not work right IMO

but you could turn meanigless into value perhaps
>>
No. 1499
>>1497
What I wanted to say with this was that in earlier times this was not even a question: Being alive was a value in itself, because it could have been taken from you through war, famine and disease, all threats which are unlikely to hit you today. Some people struggle with that, because they now feel the need for life to have a deeper meaning, but I think that this mindset is destined to bring you worries, because the meaning you crave is always man-made and artificial, and it often focus around earning merits, being special, striving for excellence and so on, these are all things that put pressure on you to fulfil them. Of course at some point you might realize that you were chasing arbitrary goals, and then you fall into a crisis. Why not just deal with the fact that there might be no meaning, or at least no meaning we can understand at our current development level? I think that this brings a great deal of freedom to everyone to accept that there is no higher goal or entity we should devote ourselves to.

If you think about death being a great equalizer, you stop thinking of yourself as a failure, because everything will be leveled at the end, and every failure and every sin will be forgiven. So in my opinion there is no reason to hate yourself or others or even mankind as a whole.
>>
No. 1503
>>1499
Ok than I'm just not satisfied and have to rebel against the circumstances I'm in because what society is like disturbs me somebody has to make history

I don't even want to be loved by everyone, be a well known superstar from hollywood

I still want something great, something that touches the core we all orbit. I don't believe in some solid truth or meaning behind it all, but there is something and its like a splinter and I want to touch it for a moment, like art, nothing is for eternity, its just a moment in space and time that is clear, just a moment. that is my point in life

Since I dabble thru life without getting near it, I have a problem tho. The real freedom of meaningless would be to just kys and have eternal peace again. Why deal with life and have the great freedom and includes great suffering if there is nothing that tops that even for some moments, an unconscious life is out of my league, I ponder way too much, I've fallen into a pot of amphetamine as a baby like some Obelix.
>>
No. 1504
>>1503
You do not consider that most people alive just focus on their own way and there is little that holds them together commonly.

There was, but there have been great efforts to dismantle all of it. So it's futile. Just make the best out of your time, and I do not mean this in a hedonistic way
>>
No. 1562
I don't feel good today.

I felt adventurous and thought to finally give tinder a go. But the act of trying to take pictures for it has killed all the self esteem I built the past month.

I will be fine but god dammit, I was trying to be proactive and happy.
>>
No. 1563
I started eating Bran cereal yesterday. Holy shit, what a difference it made to my digestion- my diet is 90% beef and fish, usually I shit once every three days. Yesterday was a revelation, however; I shatted twice!
>>
No. 1564
>>1562
haha
>>
No. 1567
>>1563

Can you post pics of the packaging? I wonder if it's similar to common bran cereals at the store, or if it's another instance of European privilege and equivalent here can only be found in an overpriced organic/whole foods store or section.

>my diet is 90% beef and fish

WHY!?

I should start eating something like that for breakfast. But I don't have much time to get ready so I'm usually just eating breakfast(almost always a bagel) on my walk to the bus station.
>>
No. 1572
>>1567
>Can you post pics of the packaging?

No, but I can tell you the nutritional information if you want (would photograph it but my chiknphone broke two weeks ago)

>my diet is 90% beef and fish, WHY!?

I am, as one says, middle class. Lots of sea bass , crab, fillet steak and so forth. Delicious indeed, and such meals include a small portion of salad- but this salad comprises the aforementioned 10% of non-meat in my diet.
>>
No. 1573 Kontra
>>1572
Forgot to turn off my proxy :DDDD
>>
No. 1574
>>1572

>I am, as one says, middle class. Lots of sea bass , crab, fillet steak and so forth.

I'm a bit jealous now.

> but I can tell you the nutritional information if you want

Go ahead.

I will compare it next time I'm getting groceries.
>>
No. 1578
>>1574
does american grocery stores not have cheap variant of these?

crabs, filet etc. is not for people that really struggle with their finance but it's not necessarily expensive. I think atlanta just wants to impress us with his extravagant lifestyle.
>>
No. 1579
>>1578

Mostly what he said about crab meat. That's very expensive where I live.
>>
No. 1580
>>1574
Well, as we're taling about pooping: it's 12g of fibre per 100g. I had about half a box-full; a box being 350g, that makes for good shittenings.
>>
No. 1581 Kontra
>>1562

I got over it and went through with it.

It's like everyone is a "fuck no" or way too good looking to ever consider me. I don't know why 95% of these guys even made profiles or chose the pictures they did.

I've "swiped left" exclusively for 10 minutes now. Also their bios are either nothingness or reddit tier.

I should go back to the store and get cereal and crab meat instead of this.
>>
No. 1582
I have an interview tomorrow which wouldn't normally phase me at all but as I've got to fight across the underground network and they booked my appointment in under a week I'm having heatenings. The "under a week" part is what is really upsetting as I've not mentally prepared for this at all and need to get some passport photos from one of those machines on the way.

Hopefully this post will remind me tomorrow morning.

>>1564
Rude.

>>1563
The problem I've always had with bran is that while delicious it must be treated with respect. Not only can it dehydrate you via shittenings but there is nothing worse than a sudden bout of stomach cramps in a public place.

So don't get too Pole-on with your colon. Eat muesli, it will flow easily.
>>
No. 1587
>>1582

Good luck and don't sweat it!

What's the interview for? Are you the same Brit from KC that had to do a powerpoint for an interview?

I got told once when I was in a bad place "90% of life is just showing up". That mentality helps in interviews a lot imo.
>>
No. 1592
>>1582
Nice, what's the job? I actually had an interview for a Data Analyst position today. It went brilliantly, unfortunately they also told me as soon as I walked in the door that they're not entirely sure if they actually need anyone new. Was a nice experience though.
>>
No. 1607
work was cancelled today and it was horrible and raining outside so i decided to take today as a weekend to make up for not having a proper one.

woke up at 5am and sat around in bed sorting out papers into drawers, watched some youtube, had a nice chat to a friend online

then i went to the shops to pick up some electronics shipment and buy groceries. I ended up getting lamb, sardines, chick peas, basil, parsley, capsicum, tomatoes, pickles and some other stuff

cooked a nice lunch for the first time in about a year, i typically only eat dinner or buy lunch when im particularly hungry at work. It was the first time I've bought canned sardines from the store and they were very cheap and good so i might make a habit of that.
i also set some lamb marinating for dinner tonight

then i had a midday nap and watched pannenkoek videos
now im going to clean up a little and collect some parts for my projects, then cook dinner and be asleep by 2030
>>
No. 1609
>>1010
if you're in Sydney and cannot afford a refurbished laptop, i have some used but functional ones from work, you could have one
>>
No. 1610
>>1607
Sounds cozy :3

I had a nice morning walk around 6am but the sun was already up and too bright for my sleepy eyes. If I want to see the sunrise I have to get up as early as 4:45 am now, which would be possible if people wouldn't keep me up until 23:00 every day.
>>
No. 1615
96 kB, 600 × 450
I'm back in my hometown for the summer. Will only return to Helsinki by the end of July, yesterday we had sauna and today the kot, me and parents took 2-hour naps. This will be a cozy vacation.
>>
No. 1623
Brooding over possibly having to drop a job opportunity in another state because of some personal issues that would keep me from leaving my own. A shame too because it's a really good opportunity that pays so much more than what I make now.
>>
No. 1641
Court wants me to be present because of some car accident that was almost a year ago and my laywer objected the fine back then.

Seem slike some shitposter found EC which is rather sad, I hope mods keep it strict as catholic church in the middle ages.
>>
No. 1658
32 kB, 688 × 578
>>1587
>>1592
It was for a job in immigration enforcement. Like the game Papers, Please but irl. I wasn't to keen on it but I want to work and thought myself more than qualified for this position

Today has however just been one disaster after another. None of the trains are on schedule today (none!) and while I managed to run and get to the interview on time I also immediately proceeded to fail the testing which I put down to being sweaty and needed to pee so bad from running late.

Does this disappointing waste of time and money end here? Oh no. My train home was stuck in the station for an hour followed by us having to get off at a later station because we were also traveling so slow the next train in the schedule had caught up. Then when I finally do get to my local station and decide to get the bus home I not only find myself waiting for close to an hour but the bus then has a breakdown before it even leaves the stop so I had to wait another half hour for the next bus.

Somebody give me Chris Grayling's address so I can shit in his letterbox.

Extra: While typing this I got a rejection email for a paid internship I was really interested in. It just won't end.
>>
No. 1659
>>1658
>rejection email for a paid internship
Will you get a refund?
>>
No. 1666
>>1658
This is depressing to read about from a nation that supposedly prides itself on mass transit
>>
No. 1683
>>1658
Ok, now it is too late for this one, but there is always the next interview waiting for you.
The most important thing is, to remove EVERYTHING that might be a stress factor or you can't rely on.
First of course the preperation begins at home and i think you already were sure to get the job but one stress factor is of course the questions of the HR department. I for example prepared myself before i even got out my first CV with over 50 potential questions that are common and business specific, the psychology behind it and how to answer (also i trained with a partner and filmed me while doing it to see how i come across). So this wasn't bothering me anymore.
Get your clothes together what you are wearing the day before, so you are not like 5 min. before you go "where is this damn belt" or "damn, there is a stain on my shirt i would have like to wear".
And now to your point: remove 3rd parties as much as you can, that you can't rely on, which includes public transport. The trains can run ALWAYS on time, but the day you are reliant on some idiot decides to kys himself and ruin your day through then a over an hour waiting time the train then have.
So even when you are low on money and don't have a car just go to a rental car service and get one, so you don't have the stress with delayed trains or missed connections. Also watch out for temporary building sites or where there could be traffic jams. Have a backup navigation system with you that might even have traffic updates.
Then make yourself familiar with the place itself, were you will have the interview, beginning looking up google maps to see, where the parking spaces are and were the entrance is (helpful by bigger buildings).
Arrive there to be at least half an hour early, better an hour. So you can take a walk, make yoga or just go to a bakery, get a pastry or sit in a cafe to calm you down and then you go in and be the best foking interviewee they had ever had and crush your competition!
>>
No. 1692
I feel like I'm losing my mind, Ernst. Since a few days I was almost exclusively lusting over and phantasizing about a girl (we're chatting and sexting mostly, but it doesn't seem to me yet like she's interested in any IRL action, also because we haven't seen each other faces yet), including long mutual, partially sado-masochistic masturbation sessions but also a lot of lovey-dovey stuff. While it sounds like a nice thing it is making me go crazy because I know that it's all just shared phantasy, typed words without real consequences. It's devastating and emptying my mind to lust after what is pretty much an illusion. The human brain is not supposed to work that way. If it sees flesh and feels intimacy it should actually feel flesh and experience intimacy. It's not even like I'm starved of female contact or anything, but I tend to be obsessive and the situation is slowly becoming unbearable. I want to die thinking about not being able to actually touch her. But still I'm not sure if it couldn't happen that we would actually meet up some time, and I'm enjoying the the digital substitue of affection like a drug so I won't give it up either.
Fuck those modern times.
>>
No. 1699
395 kB, 620 × 387
>>1666
>nation that supposedly prides itself on mass transit

Oh ho ho. You have no idea. The abysmal state of British transport infrastructure has been a meme here for decades and beyond. We are anything but proud of our mass transit.

Also, really sorry to hear that m8. But chin up, it's not the end of the world and chances are you'd have hated that fucking job. Just go out on the piss and you'll forget all about it.
>>
No. 1702 Kontra
3,8 MB, 480 × 270, 0:08
My heart is going to explode.

I actually managed to start talking to someone kind of cute and funny, I was brave enough to use tinder again today after failure yesterday.

He indirectly mentioned that he read my bio and understands I'm a tranny. He is my age and in the military, he is tall and skinny-ish and has a cute haircut and face. He even sent me a "super like" before I saw him.

inb4 ghosted, beat up, or simply getting trolled by some bored handsome man
>>
No. 1703 Kontra
>>
No. 1704 Kontra
69 kB, 724 × 541
>>1703

Also from Texas and I hope to fuck he has an accent
>>
No. 1717
>>1666
everyone in sydney complains about the public transport being horrible

but the infrequency and cost of intercity trains and busses when i travelled the UK for a bit was fuckin abysmal. A bus from ediburgh to a small village about 30mins away was like 10 pound one way

i used to commute 2 hours each way on speedy, acceptably on time trains and busses in sydney and would burn through about $30/week doing so
and thats coming from bumfuck on an intercity train line
>>
No. 1782
>>1692
>it doesn't seem to me yet like she's interested in any IRL action

Fuck her then. You know damn well you're constructing an ideal in her absence that she will never live up to in person.

>>1702
LOL he's going to put his digg in your butt :DDDDD

GayTex turned into a woman?
>>
No. 1790
>>1782

He's too slender to satisfy a man like gay tex. I remember him liking "bears"(he stretched the definition a bit) and posting them in drunk self pity rants.
>>
No. 1791
80 kB, 301 × 204
>>1790
>he stretched the definition a bit
>Gaytex
>stretched
Thanks, I'm going to have nightmares now. Erotic nightmares.
>>
No. 1795
Today I ate Hawaiian pizza.
These fuggers didn't put enough pineapple!
>>
No. 1800
>>1795
I once had a kebap where they forgot to put sauce in it. That was a really unpleasant surprise when I took a huge bite in anticipation of yogurt sauce gushing out everywhere, and that abomination of a kebap was dry as sand. What has this world come to when your kebap clerk hasn't the decency to at least masturbate over your kebap so you have some lubricant to shove it down your throat?
>>
No. 1813
I woke up even more pissed off than usual, after going to sleep pissed off. I anticipate being pissed the rest of today too. At least I may have figured out how to make headphones not sound like garbage.
>>
No. 1822
172 kB, 994 × 558
>>1782
It's not like I expect too much, also I've been under the influence of drugs when typing the last post and over-dramatizing just for the heck of it. I wasn't sober for like five days or so and felt mentally instable. Being sober now I feel alright and distanced. Today she opened up a lot and told lots of personal stuff, obviously you can guess that she's not really mentally healthy but neiter am I. At the moment it's just fun to talk to her, we'll see if it might go anywhere.
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No. 1825
>>1822
>obviously you can guess that she's not really mentally healthy but neiter am I
this is something that i find hard to reconcile

like on one hand you want a girl who isn't fucked up; but on the other hand who are you to be asking for that

there's such a weird dissonance. I have quite conservative beliefs and goals when it comes to relationships, and so when I meet interesting women and I find out about all the drugs they do and their sexual exploits its a turnoff. But at the same time i grew up on the internet and when i meet conservative women they're just boring, flat as hell, and have no sense of humour.

there's no solution. I think i'll end up going for crazy.
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No. 1827
50 kB, 640 × 640
>>1825
Tbh, crazy is just the term given to those that NTggers fear. They know that we neurodiverse are the superior life form but currently do not have the numbers to destroy them and take their place as rulers of the planet so they developed chemical weapons to cull our weak.
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No. 1828
>>1827
Yeah if only we weren't lazy. Or more appropriately if only the internet never had been invented.
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No. 1829 Kontra
>>1828
that was slight sarcasm btw
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No. 1836
>>1813

Were you angry about anything in particular?

I hate that more than most things. If I go to bed really upset about something whether it's sadness or anger I just want to feel good in the morning, and I have the expectation to wake up feeling recovered.

But when you wake up and it's as if nothing has changed, what do you even do?

There's that saying that gets thrown around "Feeling anger towards your enemies is like poisoning yourself and hoping it hurts them", but really in 2018 I hit a point where I am downright tired of feeling anger because it feels physically painful.

>>1791

Enjoy.
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No. 1838
Slept until 6:30 PM, fell back asleep at 4AM and now I woke up again at 6am after two hours of deep, dream filled sleep.

>>1825
Understanding each other means to some extent having a similiar reality, speaking a similiar language and having similiar troubles in life.
It's obviously harder to connect with people if you are an extreme personality but if you find the right people you can reach levels of companionship, friendship and maybe even love which people who are easily friends with everyone could only dream of.
If you're kind of extreme yourself, you shouldn't bother with people who aren't.

I used extreme because some form of what is called mental illness is not something I dedicatedly strive for in my friends or partner, but is usually there anyways.
Maybe you're just too negative about such extreme personality traits like sexual deviancy and frequent drug abuse.
What is bothering you so much about those?
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No. 1840
72 kB, 500 × 375
>>1836
I have focused my tard rage into a far more precise implement in a simmering hatred. I recommend it, 5/5 all the benefits of anger like adrenaline rushes when you tap it with none of the dirty disadvantages like it clouding your judgment.
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No. 1844
>>1840
channeling hatred / disdain is often very useful in short bursts

often accompanied by masochistic chain smoking, lack of sleep and unshowered stink
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No. 1928
Looks like I was ghosted.

I would rather choose to believe that today than delay the emotional ache. So I give up on this.

I was severely neglected,l as a kid, emotionally and physically (to the point I smelled like feces at school until I became old enough to care), and never received any affection and constantly craved my parents. I have a "love deficit" and am broken as an adult and basically fall apart the moment someone desires me. I have no defense against this except putting an emotional barrier around myself.

Maybe just maybe he has a reason but he probably just found someone superior and less I stoweird andpped being worth talking to.
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No. 1931
>>1928
A) you should seriously stop looking for validation through the internet. I personally wouldn't bother with what I perceive to be the shallowness and selfish callousness of that whole e-dating scene. But, I cannot tell you any better dating environment because bars are shit even if you're not shy, work is a horrible idea also tiny pool, and school is probably beyond you. Best case would probably be to find some people roughly your age and get introduced to their circle of friends.
B) beware of the fact you're the perfect target for a sociopath. You're right to keep your guard up and beware the intentions of others.
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No. 1939
>>1928
You simply got ghosted on an internet date. It happens to everyone because we live in a world of flakes so I wouldn't take it too seriously. Think of it this way, he's clearly a coward not worthy of your time anyway and I seriously doubt he 'found someone better' before he even got to know you.

Let the hurt serve as a lesson about getting lost in a fantasy too early.
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No. 1942
Went to the hardware store.
Actually bought things for actual projects.
Built a bathroom shelf. It now looks actually livable and not like a crack den. I can mop the floor now!

Also planned for my next project, it will be easy :3
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No. 1974
38 kB, 500 × 375
Today is Midsummer's Eve, anyone with a social life is out partying with friends. I am at my parents', father will light the sauna in the evening and we will eat the holiday dinner my mother has prepared. Cozy but pathetic, wish I had friends.
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No. 1976
>>1974
Kupala is forbidden in Belarus and you can celebrate it only on approved parties. 10-15 years ago someone ignited radioactive forest and since then government controls fires and sound on that night.
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No. 1978
>>1942

Sorry if you have talked about this before, did you buy some property or inherit one?,

What made it look like a crack den?
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No. 1979
Oh boy it has reached the limit
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No. 1993
>>1976
huh
I remember all fires are forbidden usually (especially on the summer)
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No. 2004
Not wanting to upset my usual routine of doing nothing, I did nothing, just like every day for the past year.
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No. 2013
>>1993
Usually its not controlled by OMON teams at night. Shameful that 1500 years old tradition died that way
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No. 13655
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