/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

File (max. 4)
Return to
  • Allowed file extensions (max. size 25 MB or specified)
    Images:  BMP, GIF, JPG, PNG, PSD   Videos:  FLV, MP4, WEBM  
    Archives:  7Z, RAR, ZIP   Audio:  FLAC, MP3, OGG, OPUS  
    Documents:  DJVU (50 MB), EPUB, MOBI, PDF (50 MB)  
  • Please read the Rules before posting.
  • Make sure you are familiar with the Guide to Anonymous Posting.

No. 3352
697 kB, 500 × 272
So I had self-diagnosed myself on the internet and I think I did a pretty decent job. I've been struggling with sleep since I remember, staying late at night when I was as young as twelve, mostly because I was not able to sleep early. I'm 24 right now and for entire april and may I'd sleep every one and a half day. I dropped from another uni and I just gave up to my organism and just let it do as it wants, however since three weeks I started eating 3mg melatonin instead of 5mg or 10mg which I did before. I tried so many things for figuring out my sleep, all kinds of benzos, clonizepams to xanax. Getting drunk wasted, getting stoned to sleep, but the only reasonable thing that was kind of helping was microdosing amphetamine the second day but that didn't really solve the problem.

And then I started doing the smaller melatonin 3mg because I read on the internet that it actually helps some people and it did wonders to me. So far I've been sleeping almost like a normal human bean. So I read an article on melatonin and apparently it doesnt really do shit unless you have a Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder (DSPD), which I actually check on every symptom. So far so good, 3rd week of sleeping 24:00-11:00. I'm trying to cut it to 24:00-09:00 but it just doesnt work and when I force myself to sleep "only" 9 hours I feel like a deadbeat until maybe 4pm and it doesnt really make me want to go sleep earlier. So what I do is I eat 3mg melatonin 40 minutes before I go to sleep, and right before I bed myself I drink a triple Lemon balm tea.



I feel so blessed because for my entire life I would not be able to wake up, I can lie for 20 minutes to anyone who tries to wake me up, turn off all the cellphone alarms and not remember a thing 4 hours later when I wake up. Now I can somehow wake up at 8am if it's needed and I'm hoping for more improvements.

Did ernst ever self-diagnosed and medicated itself with success? What are your stories?
No. 3370
Those are exactly my settis. For years and years I drank myself to sleep because it was the one and only thing that reliably got the job done and where I would still wake up early in the morning. I tried the melatonin thing but eventually abandoned it. Then I let myself go completely and now it is getting to the same point in summer where everything is disrupted and I have to sometimes skip sleep. I'm trying to forcibly knock it back by at least 6 hours.
No. 3406
You just growing up and can't get into your new sleep phases order. It was a mistake to take meds, you need to adapt to this rhythm by yourself, otherwise you will have troubles with sleep to the end of your life.
I have this
No. 3414
You seem to be very habitual with the intake of drugs and chemicals. Maybe there lies the actual cause for your problems?
No. 3441
34 kB, 469 × 339
105 kB, 728 × 546
52 kB, 461 × 331
96 kB, 638 × 479
It surely doesn't help and actually the rebound effects can be quite severe but I literally lived like this. Pretty much internal and often happens after puberty disruption of circadian rhythm. The problem is that this completely sets you off from the natural rhythms of everybody else around you which includes such vital social/economic functions as work and school, which means that in order to function in their day world you need to take copious amounts of drugs just to maintain your cycle being in sync with theirs so you don't show up to work exhausted and sleepless or sleep through every class.

The problem is that most drugs are like an easy off switch but your body quickly adjusts to it. I have had periods where I needed to take 300mg of Seroquel and STILL stayed awake through it until dawn. In order to shift your schedule fully it requires a painstaking and long process with much discipline, often involving melatonin because your intrinsic cycle is slightly off from the rest of humanity. Of course if you're some shit like an author or self employed then their daylight cycles are completely irrelevant to you. Or if you're unemployed and a NEET or something, or able to schedule most of your classes in the evening or afternoon or something. But OP just don't forget that you are actually biologically set to this. So whether you think it is actually worth the effort to sledgehammer yourself into conforming with others, or whether you discard their world entirely to carve your own niche of productivity and lifestyle, is completely up to you. That's your decision and I cannot tell you which one is better, but if you somehow manage to become like a programmer that would be for the best rather than continuing this pattern of pretending to be like the rest.
No. 3443
Try something from the 1 to 3 mg range, preferably something of good quality. In Poland when you buy something marked as dietary suplement it is not affected by any quality control. As I said, I didn't expect any results from this melatonine but tried nonetheless because It's been like that ever since I remember so why not give it a try and I'm extremely happy with the outcome

When I was 12 they were telling me that I'm lazy, when I was 14 they were telling me that I'm playing too much vidya, when I was 16 they were telling me that I don't really care, when I was 18 they told me that It's because of weed, when I was 23 they told me it's because of molly or benzos.

To simply put things, this thing had done miracle to me and If you suspect yourself to have SPSD just try it for yourself

I've been experimenting a lot starting from 2017 and had a wild year but now I've been clean of anything other than caffeine+sugar, nicotine, and weed for past 5 months. I had also severly cut the caffeine sugar thing to max 1L per day. This combined with melatonine and lemon tea is the first thing that can actually put me to sleep since I remember. I've had this issues before I started chugging soda's and smoking a pack daily. Now I basically smoke a pack daily and still chug some soda but I can go to sleep.

t. melatonin shill
No. 3445
Honestly one of the only times in my life I ever slept well was after having good and vigorous sex with someone I loved. Of course I also was actually sometimes paranoid and entered a guardian or not sure what to call it restlessness.

I strongly suspect that there is something like a sentinel gene in a fraction of our DNA. I suspect that during our earliest tribal times there were some who simply stayed awake throughout the night to protect the tribe and watch for nocturnal dangers, of predators and warring tribes, and that this trait has carried across the generations. It is a hyper vigilant and nocturnal mindset. I wonder if anything ever sets you off too, or if you get anxious and paranoid and are constantly scanning for dangers.
No. 3447 Kontra
Sorry, there's something wrong with ec on my end, background not loading and doubleposting but inside one post.

I had countless of them starting from a very young age, they usually included most if not all perceptions, so heavy changing tone noise audio, visuals, touch, once even smell. I don't really want to even write about this because I'm going to bed right now. They usually occured when I did a two-nighter or had too much caffeine. At times almost on a daily basis, especially the more stressful my education and/or social life was. I've quit benzos and molly for good after having like a bunch of them in row through the entire night. That's been 5 months without them so far.

I'm getting ready for work abroad, I need the money badly. I can't fuck it up this time and if I do I'll be done for. Thus heavily fighting with the sleep cycle. The offer is very good for me having no higher diploma, and I'd rather just try the usual go with the flow approach rather than elevating myself to something I would not be able to believe I am. I just need to sleep like a human being. And I'll do so or I'll fucking shit myself in the process, it's about time I guess.

goodnight ernts
also my dad is a heavy schizo xd
No. 3448
Absolutely yes, also highly perceptive in competitive video games. Always scanning my surroundings, never felt comfortable in places. But you could attribute it to severe anxiety I had when I was younger. I managed to fight it but I never really felt fully comfortable around people. I can't even smoke weed with people I don't know because it justs sets my mind in some state of hyper sensitivity towards the person.
No. 3449 Kontra
also when I was talking about lemon tea I meant melissa tea, I've been adding a slice of lemon for the taste thus the mistake
No. 3455
71 kB, 342 × 427
I can't even smoke weed period anymore. It gives me ZERO pleasure and an uncomfortable fog and feeling of distance from everything, an uncomfortable sort of dissociation while being paranoid and analytical which is highly uncomfortable in social settings scanning and analyzing everything and everyone and their connections and intentions towards each other etc. plus I get more highly self conscious. I fking hate it. Plus it's just my natural hyper analytical systems analysis type consciousness overriding everything.

I have always like booze and benzos for that exact reason but they destroy absolutely everything in your life eventually. Opioids were great and made me feel real, alive, and normal and empathetic and emotional. Plus energetic and feeling well connected to people, with oddly an increased physical and emotional sensitivity to everything. "Speed" has put me to sleep before by just stripping the anxiety away and making me calm enough to fall asleep. I once had a late paper because of that.

Meanwhile as Adderall makes me a detached emotionless zombie I love opis more than anything because they make me feel the way coke has been described, super confident and highly energetic and driven, also oddly with more sexual awareness (I normally don't give a fuck about sex or any of its trivial distractions).

I have noticed not altering my mind for lengths of time that I'm just a more jittery easily set off person, emotionally flat and detached but hyper aware of certain things like politics and systems and interactions, always scanning not for opportunity so much as threats.

My most comfortable time is pretty much being awake at 3am after everyone has gone to bed and the world gets silent and spooky, and particularly 2:30-5:00am being in this kind of sentry guardian mindset. It's completely unintentional too. But it feels almost like not allowing sleep because some looming hidden threat may take advantage of my unconscious negligence. Self sacrifice is trivial and irrelevant. Only the survival of the tribe is relevant. Personal survival is secondary.
No. 3458
> And I'll do so or I'll fucking shit myself in the process, it's about time I guess.
I have already given up and made peace with the fact this is just who and what I am. There is no denial, and no fighting it. My choices are to either be chemically reliant for sleep, or put in the effort to change, and all for the most useless nickel and dime bullshit jobs to be a practical slave or servant to another who will hold you financially by the balls and rule your time.

I shall deny and reject this approach after having done so for years. I cannot fail any harder anyway and besides which I need to stay away from anything altering my biology. I still use hydroyzine for sleep but I'm trying to shift off that and maybe try melatonin, and only do jobs that are late instead of in the morning. I don't even remember the first few hours at work I am such a zombie.
No. 3469
I woke up 50 minutes ago, I don't really feel fully comfortable writing a post yet. Slept 01:30-09:00. Weak pulse, low body temperature on wake up. Chugging some cigarettes without eating seems to help with the pulse thing but I know it aint smart.

3mg melatonine 45 minutes before sleep, buy something good not the cheap stuff. If it wont work try 1,5mg and just cut the pill in half. Don't use any time release melatonine. If it works you will definitely feel it, a sluggish, sleepy state of mind. On comparison 5mg gave me short breath and a light headspin. Also when you pop the pill make the triple melissa, it has a very mind calming effect, very helpful in falling asleep if you are not the meditative state of mind type of guy. Leave the tea bags in until you drink it and put a plate over the cup when it brews so it's as strong as it can get. Drink it the second you feel the melatonine coming in and go to bed in like 2 minutes. All of these effects go away after max 15 minutes so you have a short time window to take advantage of it. If you do a lot of sugar try to make a 3x combo and have the low sugar slowdown before you go to sleep. Right now I had almost entirely cut the sugar and I don't need the melissa but I would not make it without it in the first two weeks. Report progress. I could probably smoke less cigarettes and I will if something goes wrong but as it is now I can do 15-20 cigs a day without them affecting sleep. Every second day I break and drink 1 litre of cola but I'm well done with it after 19:00.

Interesting, the only opios I did were prescription xan's and other benzos. Cocaine was never my thing as it was just a different kind of speed for me. Not very comfortable. I was doing a gig as a vj in helsinki and one guy gave me a line of coke and the only thing I could think about was WERK for like 5 hours. After the gig at 6am they told me they never had a vj stay for so long ever. I had heavy heatenings the next day that I acted like a fucking robot instead of just enjoying what I do, and I'd believe that I fucked up if they wouldn't ask me to do more. Ever since I remember I had this mindset of whatever I do I'm doing bad.

I did mostly copious ammounts of mdma, some betakations because they are very popular in Poland, mephedrone clephedrone et cetra. I would usually get mild psychosis at 5-6am if I overdone mephe, I know it's fucking dumb and all but due to how I carried my life these were the only people left for me at the given time (or atleast I felt that way) and they were abusing every substance they could. 5 months ago in february I stopped entirely, after 4 days of grinding hard, finishing with doing a hell lot of xans I had left, a night when I had sleep paralysis one after another for entire night and which ended with a very long and abstract quasi lucid dream. When I woke up I felt like I finally understood all of the universe... Needless to say the next day I decided It's time to stop fucking around with opio/amph/betakations.

>uncomfortable fog and feeling of distance from everything
I love it, when I'm in this state I can finally feel at ease. However it works only when I'm alone. When I'm in group which I am not a solid part of I'll feel extra paranoid and anxious.

>2:30-5:00am being in this kind of sentry guardian mindset.
How else am I supposed to feel knowing that If I wont sleep on my side with my eyes covered I have a chance of 15% every time I sleep of getting sleep paralysis since age of 14, you feel me. I've stopped using bed lamp recently hurray me

try my tips and maybe it'll help you
No. 3471 Kontra
also hydroxyzine had never done anything to me and I never felt any effect be it to mitigate various comedowns or just using it for sleep or day.
No. 3472
I used to smoke about a pack a day before I bought myself an e-cigarette. I feel overall better now (especially the coughing and my throat in general have become much better), sleep has become better too and it's way cheaper.
No. 3473 Kontra
I just can't, it stings and hurts. I tried the 1mg nicotine and 10mg nicotine. Different mods. My party trick is dying from somoeone else's e-cigarette to prove my point.

I could make another thread on why I can't smoke e cigarettes.

t. special snowflake pole
No. 3484
I can self diagnose myself also, but what use is it when doctors cant even give theoretically acceptable help than myself?