/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

Currently at Radio Ernstiwan:


Dedicated to the 100th anniversary of the spanish flu and the great-grandchild Corona Wuhan. by Do the Wuhan gloomy dance

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No. 34264 Systemkontra
116 kB, 1024 × 817
Blog it!
>>
No. 34265
>>34236
>Well, actually the volume I got was Creative evolution, precisely because of its literary relevance.

But it's not a novel? Might be important for art tho and philosophy, since it deals with the new and how it actually comes into existence afaik.
>>
No. 34267
509 kB, 750 × 818
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest
>>
No. 34269
Today was pretty good I guess.
Currently sipping on some Chinese green tea. It actually made my head feel more clear.

>>34263
You see herbal "tea" is not "tea", and neither is fruit infusions.
They are tea-like, but neither contains much caffeine or any at all in a lot of cases. (The case when it does contain any caffeine only comes about when the fruit infusion contains actual black tea, which is usually low quality "dust" without any of the refined taste fuller, fermented leaves have.)
The same goes for the African rooibos, which is often nicknamed and sold as "red tea", but actually has nothing to do with tea, and has no caffeine content.

If you want to have a "strong tea", then go for fermented ones from china like Pu'er, or really anything from Yunnan.
And forget about bags.

>>34265
>But it's not a novel?
No. It's a philosophy book with clearly labelled sections and such.
I think he got the Nobel for his thoughts and theories that "revolutionised" storytelling not for anything he himself wrote.
>>
No. 34271
>>34269
Nah herbal tea is 100% tea. It even says so on the box dude. Unless you think you’re more trustworthy than the Sleepytime® bear I’d just drop the issue.
>>
No. 34272
>>34271
Herbal tea has herbs in it, not tea leaves, it's called "tea" for convenience, not because it has anything to do with actual tea.
>>
No. 34273
111 kB, 488 × 488
>>34272
Sorry but you’re incorrect. The word “tea” is printed plainly on the box.
>>
No. 34275
>>34273
Are you trying to give me an aneurysm?
>>
No. 34276
59 kB, 777 × 364
I've been logging my hourly energy levels soon for half a week now. Chart related shows the averages over the last 4 days.

Link to set up your own, if Ernst is interested:

https://collegeinfogeek.com/track-body-energy-focus-levels/

Video of same article:

https://youtu.be/sl1RApVpIpU
>>
No. 34277
222 kB, 634 × 632
>>34271
>Unless you think you’re more trustworthy than the Sleepytime® bear
Can't dispute that.

If you are after a strong drink, you may want to brew this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chifir
I think it's perfect for a cooking in the microwave.
>>
No. 34280
34 kB, 522 × 522
>>34276
In the comments below the video there was a discussion about making an app, and one viewer actually did. I haven't tested it, but it's cool that she followed though on the idea:
https://blog.rebeccaansems.com/post/147215289708/productivity-tracker-when-do-you-work-best

>>34277
>Chifir is typically prepared with 5–8 tablespoons (50–100 ml) of loose tea (or tea bags) per person
>It may be left to brew overnight
Wow, that's a strong drink.

I had this Cafe Najjar once, which is coffee blended with cardamom. It was like a cup of coffee and a cup of chai tea rolled into one. That sounds odd, but it was surprisingly good.
>>
No. 34281
>>34280
the seeds of the cornel cherry (slightly roasted, then grinded) add a nice hint of vanilla.
beware, the grinding part is a bitch, you'll have to use a mortar beforehand.
>>
No. 34282
>>34280
Too bad it's only for iOs apparently.
>>
No. 34283
>>34277
That's ebin.
Our prisoners have something similar called Dobitea. I heard they use a whole box of teabagts for it and apparently it makes them have sick experiences that make them feel like they are outside, hence the name, which is a portmanteau the slang Dobbantás for "escape" and tea.
>>
No. 34290
>>34282
If you can have a stable Internet connection, you can have your own productivity tracker anywhere you want for any platform you want (if mail notifications are possible within that system) for a cost of a machine you can keep 24/7 and a couple of beers for a UNIX administrator you know, who can set you up the following:
  • a script which reads a file with the timetable of productivity notifications
  • a script which sends you a mail message when it's time
  • mail client for the use by the script above
  • a script which runs the aforementioned
  • a timer to run the superscript
>>
No. 34291
I'm trying not to be childishly butthurt at my own family. I am not even on speaking terms with these people anymore and have them both blocked. It's not fair to my siblings though but at this point I'm probably going to end up just working and feeling bitter on Thanksgiving by myself which is probably bothering me only because a year ago I was the one who made dinner.

It's also increasingly bothering the shit out of me with rent and I couldve had more hours but I got a call while I was dead asleep asking about work and I think I mumbled something about if someone else can do it. To be fair I had stayed up until 3-4am and had trouble staying and falling asleep so took half a sleeping pill and was dead to the world when I got the call, which meant I would've needed to get up and start getting ready an hour after that call somehow. I slept in til 1:00pm anyway so I guess it's whatever. I probably would've performed like shit. But then I did the same thing again. Was up until six in the morning today and getting up at noon I'm still sleep deprived and just hoping to get sleep early for work tomorrow. I value my free time highly so whatever.

I'm getting super stressed out about this. I need money but I also don't want to hear a single goddamn thing from my deadbeat father talking about it. This is a man who couldn't keep my Sago palm alive yet hasn't had a job in years, and is still too busy. As a kid, too busy. Guess what you fuck now I'm too busy and unlike you have legitimate shit to do. Meanwhile dreading having to hear from my mom again. Fuck I want nothing to do with these terrible people anymore. I know I should probably try and be more mature though and call but maybe I'll do that tomorrow because I don't feel like having him or either of them rob me of my precious free time which it takes me about two hours to stop being angry after talking to them. This whole month fucked me so hard because I had 3-4 solid weeks with reduced hours while training somebody so everyone got their hours cut which has cost me ungodly amounts of money I now desperately need way more than I did the last several months. It is at the point where I don't even know I'll have Christmas money or not so I'm probably just going to end up volunteering for Christmas. At least I'll get time and a half then which should cushion these massive shocks.
>>
No. 34294
I went hiking steep mountain sides for the last few days. Ran out of weed and porridge, had to walk back to town tired and hungry due to a possum keeping me up all night along with my hunger pangs.
As I got to town, an upside cheesecake was present on the groubd, so I scooped up the cleaner sides and gobbled it up
Feels great being a tramp and I found a cool stone shack to make fires in when I stock up here in town.
>>
No. 34299
>>34290
Interesting. Also thought it would be somewhat easy to make, as a small project. But for now I am content with Google docs.
>>
No. 34310 Kontra
24 kB, 550 × 412
Shit I'm starting to feel really sick. I don't think I ate a lot other than ice cream and started trying Kratom again. It's expensive plus nice and helps the general high baseline level anxiety and standoffish stuff...I think

Also Reminder to self go and actually save everything to text file. I don't even think I'm particularly good at it and the market is saturated moreover however I spend so much damn time watching reviews, gaming, and basically writing my own non-proofread rambling reviews that I might as well collate it all into one space. I put as much time and sorta effort into this hobby it may as well be a second job so why not actually bother putting it out there as actual game reviews and not just my rambling nonsense? It isn't like I don't also have the apparent secret ingredient to media and writing: controversy and even better because I'm not doing it to be trolling but because these are my sincere beliefs and what I think is factually right that probably a lot of other people think too Deus Ex is massively overrated and never was that good of a good game. It's not like I'd be doing much more than I'm already doing and I might as well at least leave it up for people to actually look at rather than a dozen people on ernst whose eyes are glazing over.

Fuck, that was too much coffee. How much caffeine is in that tea anyway
>>
No. 34313
>>34310
I too have a personal vendetta against commas and I love rambly run-on sentences so I can't wait to read your review blog.
>>
No. 34319
>>34171
>>34166
Thanks for your uplifting words. It was very stupid indeed to just get hammered instead of coming to terms with my self. But then again I didn't know what to come to terms with, I didn't understand a thing anymore.
My overall situation is good but my mood pulls down very easily, I've always been quite over-sensitive.
We'll see each other again saturday and go ice skating which I have never done before.
She didn't answer me anymore today though, I feel like from now on it's going downhill again. It's just frustrating that I seem to fail miserably whenever I get close to a woman, it feels like a curse at times. And there's the overwhelming bitterness that what's so easy and not even worth talking about for other men is a massive struggle for me.
Still I shouldn't forget that everytime I fail I move a little bit further. However all of this ends, I have at least felt now what it's like to carress someone else. It's always been a great fear of mine to die without knowing what physical intimacy felt like beyond the one I felt as a child.

Nonetheless I had an alright day, did some stuff I lacked the time lately. Generally will spend my time like that now, I have two weeks off work in front of me. So what's in front of me is a lot of reading, writing and some unpaid work for projects I'm involved in.
My sleeping rhythm is fucked because of the nightshifts but I don't care anymore. Next week I'll visit my family for a couple of days anyways so I think it will get a bit better. Looking forward to spend some time with all of them, promised my cousin to come visit him as well.
Also a good friend of mine's doing a short internship so he's back at the hometown as well for while.

>>34310
Sure, Kratom eases anxiety but things can get worse again once you're off the drug so you shouldn't depend on it.

t. Just ordered another 50g and hoping for them to arrive soon
>>
No. 34323
I rescued a 7 week old kitten the other day outside and he’s doing great. I took him to the vet to get him registered and dewormed and he wasn’t chipped. I think he’s really happy he got rescued because he loves cuddling with me and shoving his little face all up in my shit.
>>
No. 34324
>>34319
>>34310
Easing anxiety is like trying to put a band aid on a hole that never heals. It’s pointless. The best thing you can do for yourselves is to accept how you feel. Doing an addictive drug for the tranquilizing effect that stimulates opioid receptors to “feel okay” doesn’t seem like a great idea. Marijuana is just underrated due to pld stigmas and it seems weak compared to other drugs but that’s why it’s good.
>>
No. 34325 Kontra
>>34324
>pld
old
>>
No. 34326
>>34324
>abusing weed instead of cbd
M8 cmon
>>
No. 34328
>>34324
I've used it a lot in the past so I know it's at least somewhat safe for a month or two of fairly heavy sustained use but first it's expensive and more importantly I don't know how long it would take before having issues when I stop. Due to work I can't afford to get that way but I couldn't afford to simply stop and be a wreck at work. All I know is I can do it for a solid month and be perfectly normal. Beyond that I don't fully know. I did go through like three kilos of it before which is why I'm not quite as worried as maybe I should be. Plus I'm getting old. Not sure if youthful vigor is a big factor or not.
>>
No. 34330
>>34328
It’s good to keep trying for some kind of remedy or “higher power” if you that can help you, but I fear instrinsically for a healthy person and a healthy mind a and a healthy spirit the best really actually might be sober reality
t. chronic bong smoker/dabber
>>
No. 34331
>>34326
You cannot abuse cbd lol, try something that actually makes you feel something real and you might get hooked
>>
No. 34332
>>34328
We all react differently to psychedelics especially. I haven’t stopped smoking for more than 11 days since I started when I was 17 and i’m finally getting my life together with the help of it.
>>
No. 34338
Oh dog. We have a kiwi now. Oceania Power Hour is slowly but surely becoming a thing on EC :-DDD
>>
No. 34353
229 kB, 736 × 711
>>34323
This kitten sounds like a keeper. Are you fostering now, or will you be able to adopt him(?) permanently?

I saw some deer this morning, which isn't that unusual, but for some reason these didn't run away. One was closer than the others, right on the edge of a wooded area, and startled the heck out of me when I looked up and saw it ~10 feet away(full grown, but no antlers). She looked right at me, but never budged as I passed. Truly a surreal experience. The other 2 were smaller and never stopped nibbling at leaves, so maybe they were her fawns. If that's the case, then I may have been in danger without realizing it.
>>
No. 34359
1,7 MB, 2560 × 1801
I hope my friend is doing well. He is not answering any of my contact attempts. It would be ok if he didn't want to be my friend anymore. Actually, no, it would be terrible, but getting ghosted feels worse than getting rejected.

Maybe I'm overthinking things and he just found some other dude to hang out with, however he is not the type to start things or get out of his comfort zone much, just as me. Maybe I'm just boring or toxic or to remote to be considered a close friend, since we see rarely nowadays.

I just hope he is fine.
>>
No. 34361
Today was fine I guess.
My debit card finally arrived. Fucking space age technology.

I had a coffee today, and it didn't make me feel anything.
Then after lunch my head started hurting badly, alongside with a bit of pain in my chest, which went away after a bit of sleep.
>>
No. 34362
I also had this incredibly meme tier moment in the photocopy room, where I looked at a random sheet lying on the desk out of curiosity, and it was an exercise in rhetoric, asking the student to
>Argue against Thanos's population control methods in an essay ;)
Had a good chuckle. For a second it felt like America.
People actually do this, and it's funny in a sense.
>>
No. 34365
21 kB, 600 × 600
>>34359
Hang in there, Ernst.

>>34362
>Argue against Thanos's population control methods in an essay ;)
At least they aren't asking students to to argue in favor of Thanos :^○.
>>
No. 34366
Eating an apple.
>>
No. 34367
I attended an official dress-coded event this evening and people from some conservatory made the musical entertainment in between, I had to smile and was right at EC and Hungary ball for a moment when they actually played Shostakovich, the first one of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGkbI8beN9I

The acoustic was excellent btw, I did not know that such thing is possible well given it was at the conservatory it should, sounded very omnipresent and clear.
>>
No. 34370
>>34367
Sounds like you had a bloody fine day.
It's a dream of sorts for me to hear his music played by an actual orchestra.
Though looking at it, they are going to hold a Shostakovich-Schnittke concert in 2020 in Budapest, and the tickets are reasonably priced at roughly 15 euros. I should book a seat.
Thinking of it, I've never been to an actual concert in my life.

I've been thinking a lot about music lately, and I've come to the conclusion that a musical note is just a value of length and height.
Basically I connected what I learned about the rhythm of Greek poetry. There are syllables which are one mora long, and ones that are two moras long, and basically the same is true for sounds.

>>34365
I'm an edgy boi, and a hopeless cynic, so I'd find arguing against it actually harder.
Honestly, it just feels mediocre to argue for the commonly accepted ethical standing.
>>
No. 34394
Woke up late, went swimming and made some squash soup for the first time but it didn't turn out too well. Edible and somewhat tasty but not exactly what you imagine squash soup to taste like. :DD
Then I fell asleep again, woke up, answered some work-related mail (there is an interesting new career path opening up for me at the moment, much better paid than at the local newspaper) and now I'm all awake again and listening to music.
Guess I'm gonna do some reading until I fall asleep again.

Today after I wake up I'll visit the pharmacy to get my capsules for the Kratom and pray that the drug itself also arrives on time, I've even booked the premium shipping so fuckers better to their job or I will shit up their service hotlines with annoying and spiteful requests.

>>34367
Reminds me of when I was attended a gala somewhen last week. Sleep-deprived and careless as I was I was thinking it's just gonna be some typical donation campaign bullshit but turned out it was a fucking high class event with all kinds of influential personalities of the city ranging from politicians, entepreneurs and media personalities (like even the oldest woman from an old german publisher family was at the gala) to the vice mayor. I usually dress quite formal anyways but people were there in their best suits and evening dresses, women even wearing featherboas and some guy wore a 19th century tier necktie.
I tell you it was decadent as fuck, they booked a symphony orchestra (talking of acoustics - it gave me goosebumps) for their little meetup, the cities boys' choir and a high-class three-course-menu with italian wines and a live jazz-band. I felt highly uncomfortable while sitting at the table with those people, feeling that this is out of the social sphere I usually move in and others would sense my poverty even though I might talk sophisticatedly. I don't even hold the cutlery the way I'm supposed to, a weird mixture of prole in attitude and educated man in mind and speech. Though if I wore a high-class suite and learned some table manners, I could probably pass easily as a bourgeois.
Luckily the old couple next to me (some high brasses in real estates) was very open and friendly and we talked a bit about my home state and it turned out that the guy regularily spends his holidays there. Mostly talked with the elder woman though about her own ballet school and E.T.A. Hoffmann and fucked off after quietly the second course.
>>
No. 34401
81 kB, 497 × 700
Reading about Nazi test pilot Hanna Reitsch, confusing feels

>And what have we now in Germany? A country of bankers and car-makers. Even our great army has gone soft. Soldiers wear beards and question orders. I am not ashamed to say I believed in National Socialism. I still wear the Iron Cross with diamonds Hitler gave me. But today in all of Germany you can't find a single person who voted Adolf Hitler into power ... Many Germans feel guilty about the war. But they don't explain the real guilt we share – that we lost.
>>
No. 34407
1,0 MB, 729 × 545
>>34401
What is there to be confused about? She states her position very plainly: she is a gnatsee.
>>
No. 34408
>>34401
The Nazis deserved to lose and she's an idiot on top of it. Who didn't deserve it was all the young boys idiots like her would see drafted and meaninglessly slaughtered in some godforsaken frozen hell on the Eastern front. I bet she'd feel a lot differently if she actually fought in that war rather than pontificating on the sidelines.
>>
No. 34411
>>34408
Dis. The more interesting person to read about is Albert Göring, who used his family name and its influence to fight Nazism as much as he could during the war, getting a bunch of 'undesirables' off the hook and out of the country.

The Vierergruppe are also pretty interesting tbh. They remind me a bit of proto-punks. Kids on the lower half of the economic ladder influenced by what's coming in over the airwaves going out and acting up against the authorities with vandalism and so on. Some of them got themselves shot because Nazi Germany wasn't against shooting 18 year old kids for petty crime, but still. An interesting subject tbh.
>>
No. 34412
Had a cuppa tea, eggs and some toast.
Life ain't that bad and put me in a good mood.
3 weeks until I visit UK.
>>
No. 34418
>>34411
Also very interesting are the Edelweißpiraten: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edelweiss_Pirates
>>
No. 34419
>>34418
Man, they sound like pretty cool guys, hard to argue with your cool factor when you strut around with your mates under the name 'Roving Dudes' though.
>>
No. 34436
>>34370
>Sounds like you had a bloody fine day.

Music wise yes, but I had to be social and I did not want to, so I had to force myself a bit. It was ok in the end.
But it was not an orchestra but a trio, tow violins and one piano.

>>34394
> I felt highly uncomfortable while sitting at the table with those people, feeling that this is out of the social sphere I usually move in and others would sense my poverty even though I might talk sophisticatedly. I don't even hold the cutlery the way I'm supposed to, a weird mixture of prole in attitude and educated man in mind and speech. Though if I wore a high-class suite and learned some table manners, I could probably pass easily as a bourgeois.

I can relate. My parents are not really academics but made good money, they profited from the good years of postwar Germany.
Anyway, I despise capitalism and this decadent stuff I'm still swimming in middle classy consumption patterns ofc, feeling out of place with people who seem not to care a bit about all that. Yet I'm pursuing education, reading literature and philosophy etc.
I' also not good at table manners, lately I watched a video on how to hold fork and knife the right way, since my parents never forced me the right way, or they just gave up before making a scene in a restaurant when I was a kid/teen. Style wise I'm hip I guess, but I had a more formal outfit yesterday but still "ugly/bumby sneakers" on my feet, crossing formal with hipness, which is ok I guess, I don't went for working in a bank, but I wear trousers and no jeans at nearly any given day etc. anyway.
>>
No. 34437
55 kB, 242 × 422
Fucking SHIT

Got next week's roster. Turns out that I'm training the new guy. Fucking hell, what a load of garbage. Kid's kind of useless and only got the job because he's friends with the venue manager. Our kitchen manager didn't want to hire him. Can't be that bad, right? Wrong. He was making one meal at a time the other day, when he had everything there for like 5, with 10 chits on the rail. It pisses me off because I end up having to work basically twice as hard for the same pay as this guy, when normally with newbies we throw them on moderately busy nights where we have more staff so that any shortfall by the new guy is spread around more evenly instead of falling entirely on the only other person there. It also fucks with my own work because those days are my prep days where I have to sort out kitchen stock for the first part of the week.

The last guy I had in for that slot knew what he was doing, and if I had shit to do, I could let him handle service while I did it. Can't do that anymore. He also knew how this shit worked and just chilled when there wasn't anything to do, polishing benches or some easy crap like that. New guy stands around conspicuously still, bringing the whole atmosphere down to being awkward as hell.

>But Ernst, you were new once too
Yeah, and I got stuck in a corner where I couldn't do any damage until I learned how to not suck at my job. Plus I'm still getting paid minimum wage despite being given more responsibility. No, complaining to the boss isn't going to help, low end hospitality is about as insecure as work gets.
>>
No. 34438
How many Australians are there on EC?
>>
No. 34439
64 kB, 680 × 366
>>34438
1 who is on his day off and staying inside due to it being summer.
>>
No. 34440
19 kB, 100 × 100, 0:00
>>34439
>summer
Oh, yes, that's why Australia is on fire.
>>
No. 34442
77 kB, 700 × 367
>>34439
Are you the same guy who knows an unusual amount about the American Civil War?
>>
No. 34444
>>34440
Well technically it's only spring but still. Close enough. We have had some bad days for air quality in the last month or so from all the smoke. We had one day where the air quality was Beijing-tier.

>>34442
Yes, why? I'll answer tomorrow. It's nearly midnight.
>>
No. 34460
I met with a childhood friend today over coffee. It all went fine, we had fun. Why the fuck did I have to be nervous from the moment I woke up this morning?
>>
No. 34464
I had a splitting headache the whole day.
After school I went and bought new trousers,a new scarf to replace the one I lost and a new belt with my mother.
We had a cake and some coffee afterwards.
I drank an espresso. It seems to have magically cured the headache not even the painkiller tablet I took could get a hold of.

I also booked tickets for the Shostakovich concert they are going to hold next May.
They'll play the first and fifteenth symphonies. Not my favourites, but I'm fond of both.

Now, I have to analyse a poem and send my analysis before 8 o' clock.
Oh, and I also finished reading that novel I started a few days ago.
I'm gonna write a few lines about it in the literature thread tomorrow. Sadly I can't seem to be able to find a e-book of the English edition.

>>34394
>>34436
I feel you guys.
One time at the theatre a server called me sir, and I was such a petite bourgeois that I suspected that they were being sarcastic.

One some days I feel like I was deprived of a life I should have. You know, a family background if intellectuals and learned people.
I see others throw away such privileged backgrounds without a second thought.
My grandmother offered to teach me Latin, and I was like, "who cares?" omg
I'd kill for something like that.
>never taken to concerts or theatre
>never taken to fancy dinners
>never classically educated
>no family library
I can see people from a hundred years ago being smug. I can feel them being smug about it, and it makes me want to cry a bit every day.
>>
No. 34466
99 kB, 1080 × 1080
Bought a Korean Chupa Chups grape soda and I got what I expected and I was looking for: a full can of artificial flavor.

>>34464
I sometimes would like have gotten a better education, but as teen I was not interested in that, dunno if more bourgeois parents would have changed that or forced me more. But then again many more rich families don't have kids with a thorough classical education. They probably learn to play an instruments, visit the better public schools and are looked after for good grades. I brought packages to people who live in the well off part of this town with old villas etc. and I often wondered if they really are better educated. They have a different habit tho I guess. And I'm not too envy about that, I ofc would like to have more money and less finance problems like most people.

My parents still dragged me to museums and even payed some instrument lessons but I was a teen with interested in computers games and later drugs. The later also steered me away from the civilized disciplined, known in social manners bourgeois life.

Education is not bound to habit.
>>
No. 34467 Kontra
>>34466
Not a certain bourgeois habit I meant
>>
No. 34468
Depressive phase is over and I just got a note saying my tablet stylus has arrived and is waiting for me at the post office (30m bus ride away). Things are looking up.
The only thing is that my sleep schedule is fucked beyond belief, so I gotta manage to be awake during the day to get the dang thing.

Funny, a few years ago we had automatic PO boxes at the local mall, and they'd send you an SMS message with the password instead of delivering physical mail. I'm guessing they had a budget slash or something. Shame, it'd been a literal 5 minute walk instead of an hour long ride there and back.
>>
No. 34470
I need to built a fused multiply add.
There is no sane reason why I have to do this, since it would be cheaper to buy intellectual property. Let it suffice to say that, in paying me to built it, my company gets more out of it then us buying IP, since the German government is an asshole. I hate bit-fiddling and I lurked on kohlchan most of the day instead of working, channeling my hatred for the task at hand into vile posts. Now, I'm getting drunk on cheap Austrian wine.

If any Austrian is lurking, congrats on making that shit so cheap. It gets me drunk in a very cost-effective manner. It's also one of the worst wines I ever drunk. Characterless, without an after-taste. Makes me wonder if Austrians managed to grow wine on styrofoam.

If I still lived in a city, I'd get something to eat someplace. But I live in a town of 40k inhabitants, and at this of the day, it's impossible to order a pizza here, not joking.

I miss my ex girlfriend, and I wish could lick her armpits now.

Please congratulate me on this offensively intimate blog post, as I am insecure to the max, hate myself and want to die.
>>
No. 34472 Kontra
>>34470
>Makes me wonder if Austrians managed to grow wine on styrofoam.

Kek.
Also my condolence on not being able to order a pizza after 8pm

And I guess yeah kohl is a valve for many and also a feedback system heading into resonance. Shit piles upon shit and anger and frustration upon anger and frustration.
>>
No. 34474
2,0 MB, 1920 × 1080
Aaand I failed to write a single word :D
Fucking Hell. Why can't people just fucking leave me alone. I already wrote at least 10-15 pages worth of recaps and analyses this month.
"Woe is me"
I achieved nothing and it's already past ten o' clock. No sleep, no work done, nothing.
Come to think of it, I was also supposed to study the human bone structure a bit.
Today was fucked up.

I forgot to mention that today I saw the most repulsive woman on the bus. She was fat, one of the fattest people I ever saw, and she had the face of a goblin.
And this fat women had earbuds in, and listened to videos on her phone. It was a knock-off iphone earbud. And she laughed.
God, people are disgusting.
>>
No. 34476
Why would an old voicemail start playing out of nowhere on vlc? I can think of no plausible reason for this except some asshole is accessing my data but the fact that it would randomly play one and only one is just weird to me.
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No. 34478
13 kB, 260 × 337
I dipped into pic related and it seems to be a pragmatic approach that will help me handle my organization around writing and getting shit done concerning my upcoming BA thesis. About an 1-3h a day is calculated, tho pace is individual in the end. You go thu it in piecemeal and actually need to fill out tasks and write down stuff. Just reading is not enough, learning by doing is the desired aim here.
>>
No. 34479 Kontra
>>34478
1-3h/day in a 5 days week btw.
>>
No. 34480
>>34444
>Yes, why? I'll answer tomorrow. It's nearly midnight.

I don't have a specific question regarding the Civil War to ask you. I'm just kind of surprised that you work in a kitchen since I got the impression you were an academic from reading your posts.
>>
No. 34481
>>34480
Oh right. Yeah nah. Never been in the camp to say that the working man can't be educated. I find it a bit insulting even, like the working class only deserves to be glorified beasts of burden rather than having access to higher education if they want it. It might not have been my smartest decision to go to university because good grades aren't worth shit when they're as accessible as they are, but I did get a tertiary education regardless. Hopefully I get out of kitchen work next year, I've been trying to get an overhead linesman apprenticeship.
>>
No. 34482 Kontra
Chatted with a cute coworker girl today. Considering this was like the 2nd time I saw her and the first time we really talked I'm feeling oddly enamored with her. Awkward silences notwithstanding she seemed to be "into me", as they say. Though I might be imagining/overestimating things.
On the one hand I'm enjoying that I get to feel something for once, on the other there's this voice creeping into my head that's telling me that I'm a degenerate fuck-up and I don't deserve to sully a wholesome girl like that. And then there's heaps more where that came from.
Feels like I'm in high school again, fuck.
>>
No. 34483
4,8 MB, 2457 × 4143
8,3 MB, 4122 × 2437
The fact that this exchange happened never fails to cheer me up.

>Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!

>O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother.

>Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!

>So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

>- Koshovyi otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.

Context: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reply_of_the_Zaporozhian_Cossacks
>>
No. 34491 Kontra
got my pen
i'd draw something, but I'm so sleep deprived that I have lost all fine motor function
car sickness while sleep deprived really fucks me up.
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No. 34521
81 kB, 563 × 442
Why westernies are such hypocrites? No, I'am not talking about politics or any crap like that. I'm interested in interesting phenomenon, when basicly every western community, social networks, forums, groups, absoluetly everything besides more open talking places like imageboards have mentality of "EVERYONE IS A WINNER" in a nutshell. Of cource, in imageboards we often see polar opposite effect where absolute shitposting and insulting is something as rule, but why golden middle is so rare? On one place you will be banned for wors "I think it's kind of crap" as "horrible toxic person". On others - it's just rollecoaster of shitposting without any meaning. It is somehow connected to some culture aspects?
>>
No. 34522
104 kB, 1280 × 643
Yesterday before bed I used that Chinese handbook to get a divination.
It predicted extraordinary luck, but nothing happened.

I have my work cut out for me this weekend. I'm going to do visual arts, and it's going to be tiresome.
My task is to "paraphrase" an image. Pic related is my pick.

I got home early today. Despite this I didn't do much. Watched a few episodes of Yes, Prime Minister, and then I started listening to Schnittke's 1st Symphony.

Now that the weather is good, I'm feeling well again. So it's a weather thing.
One of the cute groupmate girls asked me about Sartre's Nausea today. Apparently she needed a copy for class but the library had none. I offered to look online for a pdf, and if that's no help, then she can read my copy.

TIL that people unironically watch dubbed netflix series and avidly follow whatever shlock the Americans shit on our plates. They even pay for it.
Not only netflix, but also HBO stuff. There are large posters advertising the new Watchmen series. Yes, nothing better to advertise your subscription to a post-communist society than with a negro painted Prussian blue playing a part in a comicbook movie. Lovely.
I despise when people recommend "shows" to one another. There is something disgusting about watching modern American TV. Not that ye olden TV shows were any better, but this feels especially repulsive to me.
"Home-grown" TV is also disgusting and only knows two methods. One is a bourgeoisie drama where the joke is sex or the social-suicide inducing middle aged whore who "can't get their life straight".
The other option is making jokes at the expense of the lumpenproletariat. "Look how uncultured they are, they don't know what's in the village next door and solve everything through violence or coercion. Hahahaha."
The ignorance of the lumpen is not funny at all. It's repulsive, but first and foremost scary. Without sufficient guidance, they start acting on their own. Without alcohol and TV it leads to violence against anyone who they might perceive as the enemy, from the guy that knows three words in French to their neighbour of 20 years who has one chicken/can of gas/plank more than them.

I guess it truly comes down to me being pathologically scared and hatefully of everyone. The "lifestyle" I aspire to and find tolerable is laughable, and to top it all off, I don't even know myself what I want. But I know that I don't want the Earth turned into a giant Californian Truman Show.
Is not sleeping enough getting to me? Probably.
>>
No. 34527
> Odüsszeusz

jesus fucking christ
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No. 34528 Kontra
2,3 MB, 2303 × 3474
2,5 MB, 3714 × 2429
>>34527
It's a great language, innit?
Quite easy on the tongue too. See for yourself!
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No. 34529
>>34528
It looks like what would happen if a drunk Belgian was trying to translate Turkish to Finnish.
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No. 34533
131 kB, 1280 × 720
My dumbass father gave the dog turkey scraps on thanksgiving and now he has had diarrhea three times today. I swear to god if this dog has fucking pancreatitis...
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No. 34534
>>34533
I seriously don't understand. What's the problem? Why would it give him diarrhea? If you mean it's just the skins and fat trimmings then yeah it's because of far which skin also is high in. Fat gives you the shits and it should pass. Otherwise I've not a clue what your problem is. We always fed the dogs all kinds of scrap meat including lots of raw steak trimmings when I worked at a restaurant. Man would they snarl at each other over those. We had to get them to jump up for it and not feed them in a bowl because someone was going to pet hospital if we let them fight over it.
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No. 34547
102 kB, 869 × 647
>>34521
why Russians so fucking miserable and want to wallow in shit all the time and insist everyone around them wallow in shit too? I think Russians have such a long history of wallowing in shit they don't understand anything else, and when they see people who don't wallow in shit, the Russian can only say ''what is wrong with these people? why don't they wallow in shit like me?''
>>
No. 34548
>>34533
>my dad gave my dog meat

wow. your dog's gonna die.
>>
No. 34551
190 kB, 512 × 512
found a central asian asmr girl
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No. 34553
>>34547
Then why don't the Irish insist on similar things? Didn't James Joyce literally use the term "pig shit country" on why he wasn't going back XD

I really don't get why there's a sense for antagonism though seriously. Aside from the fact he didn't say anything retarded or bitter, it's a reasonable observation about what's American extremes it's just he can't tell the difference between Westerners and Americans, who are peculiarly psychotic and retarded. Really though I think Slavs and Irish are the most natural pairing. Well maybe Irish are more known for being overly dramatic as much as depressive and subdued by it just seems to me from afar like two more alike peoples. I cannot think of anything more natural in the world than every Polish man finding an Irish lass and increasing the Il Papa's longterm mana reserves while driving back the forces of tyranny. sadly the forces of tyranny includes imperialistic Russians but whatever. Russia has a good idea about killing Tsars but a terrible idea about not turning into yet another despotic government
>>
No. 34554
>>34547
>wallow in shit too
It's rude to call ernstchan "shit".
>>
No. 34555
>>34521
I think that's just normalfag circles in general.
Normal people don't socialize as a kind of intellectual stimulation or an exercise in "correctness", but rather as a recreational activity. It's sort of an implied assumption everyone is there to feel good about themselves. And when someone tries to change the atmosphere from a recreational one to a "rigorous" one, it is seen as a breach of tact and a buzzkill. Like talking about politics during family dinner or something. It's what they refer to as "being difficult"

Now the question is, why would you go to a recreational social space expecting serious discussions.
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No. 34556
37 kB, 640 × 480
>>34553
>XD
return to your home, anon
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No. 34558
32 kB, 288 × 200, 0:00
>>34556
I'm just busting your balls Taigh
>>
No. 34561
>>34555
>Now the question is, why would you go to a recreational social space expecting serious discussions.
Most of this places pretend to be places for serious disscution and it's hard to distinguish where people here just for such social "relax" and where people who using their heda.
>>
No. 34564
Going late to bed again but things are seeming to get a bit better again lately. Today I'm going to see my date again and we'll do some ice-skating.
Thinking that I have told myself a hundred times during this week that it's probably over and we're through with each other, my overall view now is poitive and I feel relaxed about seeing her today. And curious what it'll be like after the latest incidents.
Can't get much worse anyways.
Also I got myself talked into visiting a concert for the newspaper in around 10 hours as they're heavily lacking workers lately. So I should definitely go to sleep now.
>>
No. 34574
>>34522
A lot of modern American TV is actually good. It's about the situation as anime: 90% is rotten trash, 9% is watchable, 1% is pure kino, and the mass of people consuming it have no ability to distinguish one category from the other. Same as with all mature cultural forms, really. However, the new attention being given to the medium has attracted a few genuine auteurs, and there is valid art being made.

>I guess it truly comes down to me being pathologically scared and hatefully of everyone. The "lifestyle" I aspire to and find tolerable is laughable, and to top it all off, I don't even know myself what I want.
Every one of us has to learn at some point to abandon our natural arrogance. Christians are right - pride is the most self-destructive sin. Even if you actually are better than everybody else, deriving any part of your self-worth from that difference will only destroy you.

If you need practical philosophy, I recommend Marcus Aurelius:
When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own—not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor an I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions.
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No. 34577
>>34574
Nah mate. Pride will set you free because you'll stop giving a shit about people's garbage. People usually mix up legit pride with vanity. While synonyms, there's the kind of pride that comes from where you've been, and it builds dignity. Fuck conforming. Do you, and if any haters try and bring you down, break their damn legs.

Just don't go the wrong way and be an insufferable cunt is all, else you're liable to get your legs broken. Show respect and get the same in return, but be ready to back yourself if respect isn't forthcoming. That's how you be someone worth something.
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No. 34578
>>34577
Nah man. What I'm saying is, you have to build your confidence and self-esteem without reference to other people, otherwise it can't lead to independence. Pride, in the traditional sense as a sin, involves looking at other people and saying "I'm better than them". Healthy self-esteem is looking at yourself and saying "I'm alright with this". You're not your own man if you feel like you have to say "I'm better than them", because you're still defining yourself in reference to other people. Whether or not you're better than them shouldn't even enter your thoughts.

If you find yourself constantly saying to yourself "I'm better than them", you're really fucking yourself over. It alienates you from the rest of mankind, and leads you to think of your life as a constant struggle of yourself vs. the world. But the world is infinitely larger and stronger than you, and if you define your life as a fight against it, you'll lose.
>>
No. 34579
>>34578
Fuck that noise. I'm not 'okay' with who I am. I'm fucking proud. It wasn't an easy road to get to where I am now and I am not going to be ashamed of that. I'm not just going to exist in some inoffensive way, I'm going to do me, even if me is loud and offensive to the main crowd. I've been inoffensive and it nearly destroyed me.

I don't go boasting about how great I am to people. I don't look down at them. I don't turn down to preserve their sensibilities neither. It's not defining myself based on others, it's saying "this is me, fucking deal with it". Being merely okay with yourself like traditional self-esteem advice dictates is just shoving a fencepole up your arse. Neither here nor there.

And tbh, it's bigger than winning or losing against the world. It's the struggle itself, that's important. I don't win against them with plain old self-esteem neither so I might as well go down swinging. Just taking it quietly is weak as piss.
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No. 34602
22 kB, 600 × 480
Reading the Dialetic of Enlightenment, quite interesting. Myth and Enlightenment are both totalitarian as they are iterative, operate with a given they found themselves and try to explain everything with one thing. I dunno about the myth but enlightenment is formalization of everything. Not sure if I understand it all correctly.
The history of the civilizational thought meshes into that, a trace I've never spent much attention to, but it's really interesting.

I need to read more about the role of social sciences in 20th century, including the founding of society as concept and self description. Also: how they find problems, how are problems within society set up as such?

Wish I had the time to dive into the work of Felix Guattari, I turned down the thought of buying some of his books, I don't have time for them anyway.
>>
No. 34606
I went 55€ over my budget for November. Must be pocket money to some Ernsts, but for me it's a lot. All Christmas gifts are bought though and I worked like a animal this month so the paycheck should be better than last. All in all, should be able put more into savings in December, despite lending my mother 500€ for her Christmas budget.
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No. 34610
>>34579
And that's alright if your problem is chronic lack of self-esteem, rather than chronic alienating pride. Which seems to be the core problem of our Hungarian hermano, who I was initially trying to address.

So I don't think we really disagree on fundamental principles.
>>
No. 34611 Kontra
>>34610
Although I should say that the process of affirmative struggle is still not ideal compared to Stoicism, if you can manage it. Confident humility is a lifelong goal to work towards, as much as it is a means to an end.
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No. 34624
Today was kind of awful.
Grandma fell ill, and since no one could go over to her, I had to be there until the doctor arrived. Nothing happened in the end, but I don't feel like enough of an adult for something like this.

Otherwise I cleaned my room and started writing my book report. And I slept a lot.
Now, I'm going to turn off the PC and read about Dostoevsky and Bergson.
>>
No. 34630
>>34624
>but I don't feel like enough of an adult for something like this.

That's exactly how you become one, by getting into situations like that.
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No. 34632
I live in the northeast and just bought a Sarracenia purpurea plant. I've put it in front of a South facing window. The soil/peat is moist. Should I put bugs in the pitchers? There are two mature looking pitchers on the plant and one that appears to be a new growth.
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No. 34639
>>34606
What is your budget as a percentage and what are you saving for.
>>
No. 34643
>>34639
I put aside 30% of my monthly income, currently saving for a 6k€ rainy day emergency fund. I want to go into my 30s with some financial stability, even if it's a tiny sum like 6000€.
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No. 34646
>>34632
Ooo excellent choose in pitcher plant. I see you are a man of refinement and taste. You have also managed to get one of the few plants I've never had or taken care of so idk. If you don't have bugs in the house you could probably drop a fly in one of them but I wouldnt overdo it.
>>
No. 34662
>>34646
Apparently they do alright indoors unlike some other species of pitcher plants, but I'm not sure if they need to be fed during the winter in such conditions.
>>
No. 34663
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ts3NqVHotFU
I'd trust this guy for plant advice.

Unrelated but today I finally got around to losing the cherry koolaid. Grape was okay I guess, black cherry a little bit less than grape, but I came to realize I've just been using way too much water and not enough sugar. My god does koolaid take lots of sugar. It's like at least a solid cup per gallon of the stuff and it isnt even that sweet which makes me question just how much damn sugar is even in all our sugary soft drinks and stuff. OH that's right I just realized I bought a bunch of Milkyway Midnights too. Now that stuff tastes like pure 100% sugar.

Why do this? Because it is cheap. Very incredibly cheap. It takes me one to two 24 cent packets of the stuff to make a gallon of drink that heavily masks the weird bitter taste of the tap water enough to be drinkable.
...shit yes I just realized I am buying koolaid to make my filtered tap water taste potable and that probably sounds not very first world but whatever
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No. 34679
784 kB, 1100 × 613
It's alive!
>>
No. 34700
>>34679
Cool website, thanks.
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No. 34701
229 kB, 1858 × 786
Found a really neat website with loads of info on carnivorous plants run by a UC botanist.

http://www.sarracenia.com/faq.html
>>
No. 34705
>>34663
>My god does koolaid take lots of sugar

When I had some from the US, I did 1.2-1.5L per package and put around ten heaped tablespoons of sugar into it.

---

I developed a headache over the course of the day. Translated some Latin sentence and read further into the Dialectic and why the Odyssey is an epic that basically contains all elements of the spirit of the bourgeois enlightenment.
>>
No. 34707
I woke up with a cold. Read two paragraphs, and then spent the rest of the day lying in bed. Funny thing is, I don't even have a fever, it's just that my nose is running, and I kind of want to throw up but not really.
>>
No. 34708 Kontra
>Funny thing is, I don't even have a fever

Me neither, it started all on Thursday I think, but still I went working and to university the last days. My nose started running and I had to cough here and there but nothing else. The headache must have had its origin somewhere else thank dog for light pain killers
>>
No. 34712
>>34662
I'm gonna store it in the garage for the winter I think. Also because that's boring I'm going to buy a tropical pitcher plant to look at during the winter.
>>
No. 34725
>>34663
Why don't you buy a water filter? Depending on the type of chemical contamination, it doesn't always remove all of the bad taste. But I've been in several areas with undrinkable tap water, and filtering always at least makes the water edible.

You could also try brewing tea with it, just by leaving a shitload of tea bags in the water overnight. Probably healthier than kool-aid.
>>
No. 34733
>>34725
That's just the thing I already have a brita filter attached to the faucet. And you know the thing about that filter? I fucking bought the stupid thing only because the other water filter I had in it i thought had a manufacturing defect because the water tasted bitter and weird to me. Whatever its problem is it seems to be mostly bypassing the filter.

>tea
I already tried that and I'm definitely not a fan of it. I don't like the way the alkaloids in caffeine makes me feel as opposed to coffee and it's a complete pain in the ass to keep making it and it doesnt even taste good plus it didn't fully mask the bitter weird taste but koolaid does. Alternatively I could be suddenly having organ failure and it's my taste that's defective but I'm pretty sure it's the water.
>>
No. 34745
>>34733
I'm sorry to hear of your problems. I wasn't aware that the US had areas where the tap water wasn't edible... I associate this with east asian countries.

And I have to object >>34725 regarding tea: With tea it's more important than with most other drinks to have clear water as a starting point. I even filter out the calcium of our water before using it to brew tea.
For green tea, that is. For Mate or herbal "tea" the water doesn't make much of a difference, but a Sencha at 15 Euros per 100g will taste different depending on the water.
>>
No. 34747
>>34733
Faucet filters don't work as well as pitcher filters. Get a Brita pitcher and if that doesn't work, launch a holy jihad against your local government.

>>34745
Much more common than outright undrinkable tap water is tap water that tastes like shit. Palo Alto and the surrounding area, where Stanford University and all of the biggest tech companies are, has tap water that's safe to drink, but tastes like a chemical spill. It's been that way for at least 10 years, probably longer. I think they get away with it because all the rich fucks only drink artisan bottled water and fucking La Croix.

And yet 20 miles away in Berkeley, the tap water is better quality than most bottled water, because they pipe it in straight from Yosemite. But apparently there isn't enough of the good stuff to go around.
>>
No. 34751
4,2 MB, 3968 × 2976
3,8 MB, 3968 × 2976
It's cold and frosty, so the winter begins in earnest, defrosting my aged Megane Mk1 took ages this morning
>>
No. 34753
It's snowing.
I woke up at around 6 o' clock because I had a terrible, painful feeling of nausea after a weird dream about trams near a beach resort.
It felt like I was going to die. Then I fell asleep again and it went away. Now I just want to throw up.
I guess I'm just going to make some plain rice for lunch.

You guys remember that story I told you once about how I asked out a girl on a school trip and she said "no"?
Well, last week there was only 5 of us in class, and we talked about old classmates who switched schools, how girls rate guys so on, and she came up as a topic of discussion, only for someone to cheekily say
>Well, she kept a list of girls
And I was like "u wot m8?"
>Somebody tell Ernst
>Tell what?
>Ernst, she was into girls
So The truth is, the game was rigged from the start

Things like these make me ease up quite a bit. Like when I heard my half-English cousin got a worst exam result than me, or when I found out that the kid who went to my school and wrote a novel at 13 only got published because his father paid for it. It's quite liberating to know that I did my best and I'm not actually inferior.
>>
No. 34777
Would anybody be interested in semi-regular synchtube nights, if mods don't disapprove of the idea? Watching documentaries together while having serious discussions was one of the coziest things about KC in its glory days.
>>
No. 34778
>>34777
I thought about that as well and I think Radioernst could host an instance of synchtube.
>>
No. 34781
>>34777
Would be nice. Could we vote on the docus every week? Will it be on weekends?
>>
No. 34830
I had an idea for a dystopian scifi this morning where the interstellar government is itself a large corporate conglomerate like merger of government with megacorps using something like technological property rights, but as I was thinking how to implement and explain it I only realized more and more that is basically what we have. Like the discovery of nuclear power and electricity for example would be controlled by the corpgov and no one could even use electricity without paying for using it because you'd be doing the equivalent of violating IP rights to create or use electricity but I just realized that's only a more direct correlation to what we already have. Like I can collect rain water and not get taxed on it, but to have running water I have a water bill. To use electric I have to pay the electric company. To use my radio or phone, I have to pay for both the device and the service too. I can't even use this idea in a science fiction novel because it's literally what we have and I'd only be making a slight twist on current reality which for all I know is where we're headed anyway that you can't build a magnet spinning in copper coils without being fined for violating some corporate IP right of creating electricity without their permission.
>>
No. 34832
>>34777
You can count me in if I have the time. Things is I have very few free nights left, so if at all we'd have to plan at least a week in advance.
>>
No. 34836
For the past week I've been sleeping non-stop, day and night. It's not not to have insomnia, but this is getting excessive. not sure how to feel about this.

>>34777
>>34778
I thought about something similar, but with hosting an actual streaming service (similar to the radio), so Ernsts can stream whatever they have on their hard drives rather than what's on youtube. So there would be possibilities of watching movies together and stuff.

Then again, not sure if any hosting provider would be okay with that, and if it'd cost too much.
>>
No. 34841
My last hope is that I caught some shitty virus. God, I really don't want to go to hospital over having sores on my stomach. That's a long an painful procedure. Fuck that.
I almost forgot that such levels of suffering are achievable, and it's not nearly as bad as it was ~two years ago.
That's when you're so weak that you're barely human any more, and despite the pain you don't even have the willpower to just end it.

Now, the good news is that I accidentally found my lost scarf after losing all hope. Someone left it hanging on a door. (It was obscured by the large handle that you use to push the door open.)
So that's good.
Also got another book. The complete short stories of Bruno Schulz.
Looks good.
Also got two other volumes. One is a strange book titled The Pillars of Siriat, and I have no idea what it's about, but seems to be something bordering on being esoteric, and the other is an expendable edition of Swift's Gulliver's Travels. It just dawned on me how little of a shit I give about English literature besides the Beowulf-Chaucer-Shakespeare trinity, and even then I only give half a shit about Beowulf because I'm a borderline Teutophile.
Though I still want to see for myself the English romantics and Milton's Paradife Loft.
But I digress.

So I'm listening endlessly to the Rienzi Overture and the 4th movement of Beethoven's Eroica to make myself feel better, though the latter makes me feel like I'm trying to fly but before take-off, I fall over and hurt myself.
But it's worth it fore those almost flying moments.
>>
No. 34857
I dreamt of a hospital. It had one room, one doctor and one nurse.
Strangely enough, it was comfy. The colours were warm, almost painted on, everything was clean.
They told me there was going to be a minor surgery.
Then I woke up feeling all right. It's like as if I visited some other plane in my dreams.
>>
No. 34859
196 kB, 590 × 393
Our overnight temperatures are dropping into the 40's(~7C), and the sun is now setiing at 5:30PM. That counts as wintery around here, so I decided I might as well stream some Christmas music.
>>
No. 34899
I'm trying to find a new job and new apartment and it's incredibly aggravating. See the worst thing is I could deal with having a lower paying job but one of the big things that's not talked about with poor people is how they end up having to work two or three different jobs because none of these corps are willing to give you full hours which means two or three companies don't have to pay or offer any health insurance or full time benefits. The result is somebody working 60 hours a week with no overtime pay who has to end up on Medicaid. These companies are totally shifting the American taxpayer. I think that if a guy like Bernie Sanders was serious he wouldnt tax the average American he'd tax the shit out of these corporations that pull this kind of shit because massive companies like Walmart and Amazon are indirectly being subsidized by the government and the American taxpayer in addition to being directly benefited by them.

I'm amazed how nobody talks about this. Offer people shitty hours and shitty pay with the incredible hassle of having to drive all over the place to work multiple part time jobs and meanwhile if they can only get two part time jobs they have to end up doing things like getting food stamps and Medicaid. So basically what this means is poor working people are just barely scraping by with empty buildings everywhere and landlords gouging them with rent so they end up having to have the government make them able to afford food and healthcare rather than just having one full time job that pays well enough to live by and having medicaid.

You have no idea how many people are on food stamps, and these aren't unemployed people. These are all hard working people.

So anyway that's this December. Finding a second job because I was lied to and apparently I am not going to get steady hours, and my hours are not going back to the normal closer to full time hours after training someone else like I'd been told in November. Had I been in a worse position I'd have been evicted by now. I have no idea how other people have to manage crap like that in this country.
>>
No. 34900 Kontra
>>34899
Oh yeah and the other thing that pissed me off was when I was younger and worked in kitchens they'd schedule me for like 60 hours in a row across two whole weeks working 9 days straight but structure my hours in such a way that not only was I not getting overtime but I also wasnt even working full time. Can you even imagine that? Imagine having to work for shit wages in shit conditions for nine fucking days straight and not only are you not getting overtime but you're also not even eligible for getting access to healthcare because they only offer it to full time employees which you are not because legally you only worked two thirty hour weeks so you have to go onto Medicaid. Jesus Christ I'm glad I don't do that anymore.
>>
No. 34904
>>34899
So you mean, you have to get up, drive to your workplace, fucking WORK, and then you also have to apply for welfare because your wage is so shit?
Must be the most humiliating thing in existence to work but also get welfare just go get along.
"Is my work not even worth enough for me to be let live on?"

Honestly, seems like a giant scam. Basically the corporations get a portion of their wages paid by the state. And the state gets that money from the taxes the middle class pays.
It's a bloody rip-off.
>>
No. 34905
>>34904
Welcome to capitalism in a low-social capital country.

>>34899
Honestly at that point, if I didn't have the option of NEETing at my parent's house, I would try to find some Buddhist monastic program to join. Anything to get the hell out of American working life. That 60 hour work week fuckery is the kind of shit that justifies workplace shootings.
>>
No. 34909
39 kB, 460 × 500
Feeling suffocated by life and deadlines. Meh, I'd even happily work a meaningless task instead of dealing with academia I'm not really interested in. Translating a bit of Latin again.
Also my paper does not make much advance due to small time spaces that only emerge after subtracting the daily routine that needs its time and a bit a free time I still want. Still, progress is there at least. The problem is that in the evening on a weekday is the usual time of the weekday I can do something for my paper, way to late, perfect for procrastinating. Because I could even hand it in next year in April or whatever but it will interfere with my last works that will be tackled then. So I need to finish it until the end of the year to have time for other writings and research.

I need to think about Christmas presents, one advantage of being gf-less is that you don't have to think about one more present. Well, perhaps it's easier, depending on the gf.
I will probably just gift books and food like I did in past years.
>>
No. 34917
>>34905
It doesnt though because there's as many insulating layers of middlemen and protective bullshit as there are in narco trafficking or the housing market (at least with the really big realtors who have literally like four different layers of shell companies and asset management and property managers between you the apartment renter and whoever the hell actually owns all the apartment complexes nationwideusually slumlords like Trump and Orthodox Jews living in NYC or northern NJ, who oddly always seem to be the exact same people with massive carpetbagging property management companies in Florida for some reason so there's no point to being mad at whoever youre talking to, which is the entire point of how everything is structured including dumbass identarians too busy fighting each other than bothering with the big dick fucking everyone. Like even if your boss and your boss's boss are not proles they're still unlikely to remotely have any actual say in what's going on.

Depending on the company it's true your boss could be fucking you because somehow he gets a stipend on net gains from the store if it's including staff pay in which case yeah that's a paddling, but generally speaking it isn't even usually your boss who's got that much say in how employee pay hours are scheduled and if he puts too many people on then it's his boss who's going to be up his ass. And his boss? He's got a bunch of layers of bosses to answer to too no doubt. Like if you're just working for some kind of department store like idk Lowe's, then it's going to be the manager of your department or depending on the company the story's general manager who's your boss, and he has to answer to the district manager, who in turn has to answer to the regional manager. If anything you could say a much deeper layer of shit is coming in from people who are in charge of entire states and regions but often they too kind of have their hands tied to a semi-limited degree by their boss(es) all the way up the chain at corporate.

Whether your boss is an asshole in general is a different matter. It's also a different matter if you're just working for like a tucked in the corner restaurant who's sole owner you see on a face to face basis who can and will be fucking you for your pay too. Even in higher bydlo jobs like landscaping and especially construction the person paying you may be a dick but it still goes up the chain from subcontractor to general contractor although in a job like that the boss has more leeway and so is more personally responsible for fucking you over.

But even still, going into a store or post office or wherever to go on a shooting spree is so fucking stupid like most terrorism. Like why would you go in and bomb some random concert? It's like beating a bunch of stray cats because you're mad at a hurricane. Or trying to punish your neighbor by going out to a nature reserve and sticking firecrackers in frogs. All it does is make you look like a crazy fucking asshole. The person or persons you intended to punish look more justified for everything they do. Like seriously just why? I mean, if you're going to go on a shooting rampage and terminate your entire life regardless whether you survive or not why in God's name would you waste such an opportunity? Nothing's stopping you anymore. For a brief window of time you're free to do anything. That includes bombing the foreign government offices or corporate HQ, mass shootings inside parliament or whatever coffee shop or high class restaurant lots of politicians go to to make their sleazy deals which is a low security target, hell walking into the board of directors like it's Dogma
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHzU5ZH_qNY
The closest thing I think we ever had to it was that guy who flew a plane into the IRS a few decades ago and frankly for all I or many other people are concerned that man is a goddamn hero
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010_Austin_suicide_attack

Besides no attack like that is even changing things which is that the problem is structural and policy based, although I suppose taking out someone who makes policy makes more sense. Still, it's not the sort of attitude that gets anything done. People snap here all the time and it changes absolutely nothing except getting lots of innocent people hurt who don't deserve it. Besides, violence should be reserved only for chomos and oligarchs.
>>
No. 34925
I had a really nice walk through fog at -3°C while getting groceries. I love that my favourite supermarket opens up at 7:30 so I can have a stroll through the mostly quiet streets (I'm living on the outskirts of a city, where the forest begins, not much traffic here).
>>
No. 34929
>>34925
Sounds tranquil. How early do you wake up btw?

I have been on my new meds for 1,5 weeks today. Now I've managed to take them at morning, like prescribed, but I get this horrible sinking feeling and anxiety in my chest at midday.
>>
No. 34938
It's dark. It's cold outside.
And everything is dirty because of the partially melted snow.
Like on those depressive images you see from Russia.

I'm contemplating making some tea now. Also thinking about Christmas. No idea what I should ask for pre-emptively. Probably a bottle of sake, a packet of tea, and a book. That should cover it. Basically everything that's ruining me.

I can't concentrate on anything. Read two parts from Gilgamesh yesterday, and since then, the only thing that gave me any sort of excitement was reading random articles from a book titled Dictionary of Literary Terminology.
Everything feels completely directionless again.
>>
No. 35115
210 kB, 1280 × 960
>>34938
>Everything feels completely directionless again.

Not an uncommon condition.
I'm also a bit restless since I want to read stuff I cannot read, because I need to to things for university. Heaps of books that need to be read in order get a grip on what I'm wanting, not sure what that is, but patterns occur at least.

t. rather unrealistic goals and stumbling thru life an academic pursuit seems necessary for my goals but just going to university does not do it

---

I translated all Latin sentences I need for my credits to be booked. Turns out, I did a whole passage more than needed.

Will workthru an article and a summery of a book for my paper and then after hours...It's already 6pm
>>
No. 35175
>>34929
Usually I get about around 5:00-5:30 but today I got up late. When I go to the supermarket around 7:15 I get up just in time to have a snack and put on clothes. Other days I use the quiet time in the morning to work on personal projects without a chance to be disturbed by anyone. But I like to have at least 3 hours of uninterrupted time for that, ideally more. So when I have to go get groceries early I'll just sleep longer.
>>
No. 35192
Second suicide in a week happened at my uni today
>>
No. 35197
244 kB, 520 × 375
>>34938
Hot nigorizake is a pretty great winter beverage. The sweetness makes it feel like an eastern equivalent of mulled wine. It's also rare enough compared to normal sake to be worthy of a Christmas gift.

>Everything feels completely directionless again.
Time spent mulling over life and figuring out what to do isn't necessarily unproductive. Eventually your experiences will crystallize into purpose, and a matured weltanschauung that will inform your future actions and work.

I don't think any pure intellectual has enough accumulated life experience until their mid 20s. Life is slower than it is for other people, or how it was for intellectuals in the past, when city life itself was chaotic and adventurous. The upside is that we live longer, and exist in a much broader intellectual world (via the internet, English translations, and a much higher global cultural output).
>>
No. 35202
Yesterday I talked with a guy on Russian Facebook who catfished guys using fake female profile. The guy said that he works for 3k hryvnias a day (100$), is it worth saying that even without his comment that his father got him a job in his own company it was more than clear that the person achieved this through connections? This kind of inequality pisses me off, the worst part is that literally every Russian/Ukrainian/Belarusian shares the view that you connections matter a lot and yet we are very individualistic and doing nothing to stop the corruption in our countries and improve the equality of opportunity. Whenever somebody gets the political power there, he uses this power to enrich himself and his friends instead of breaking up the vicious cycle.
>>
No. 35206
>>35202
I thought vk is blocked in UA
>>
No. 35207
It's not really today but yesterday I realized the irony of me probably at some point having to scrounge and scrape and save enough money to get on a boat and leave my old country like me ancestors did but this time I'll be taking the same route back to Europe as they did away from it. I have no faith in this country at all at this point and quite frankly I cannot even imagine any real reason to stay unless you're already at least upper middle class and can get out of here in an hour's notice to your Spanish villa anyway. Unfortunately if you are less than that it takes an awful lot of scrimping and saving what little cash you have left over to build the dream ticket out of here instead of being tolerably comfortable and well fed.

Out of all the things I'd miss I think I'd miss our pistachio ice cream the most.
>>
No. 35210
>>35206
It's blocked, drugs and child porn is banned as well but you aren't going to tell me it's impossible to get them, are you? Even normies know how to use VPN now.
>>
No. 35219
>>35207
I wouldn't put much faith in Europe. The terminal decline here is going on there, just at a slower pace.

Options I would consider:
Latin America (Ecuador or Chile mainly). Depending on country, there's stability to the point of constricting stasis. Which sucks if you're native and poor, but means that if you arrive with good money by local standards, you can expect things to more or less go the same way for the rest of your life.

India. Politically stable if you aren't a Muslim, good healthcare if you have Western levels of money, plenty of enclaves of safety. In coming years, internet, AC, and permanent power without outages will be more and more common across the country. Mostly I suggest it as an example of an up-and-coming, democratic society, which is likely to remain relatively free provided, again, that you aren't a Muslim.
As for specific places, there are some old British hill towns up in the highlands where the climate is an eternal spring, and there won't be constant crowds. If you want peace, quiet, and stability, probably a good place to check out. You also don't need to learn a new language, because you can always find someone who speaks English.

Sri Lanka is good too. Despite recent terrorist attacks, it's generally safe, stable, pluralistic and tolerant. Even if shit hits the fan again with the Tamils, most of the country will remain safe, especially if you aren't from one of the rival ethnic groups. It's a popular expat destination for a reason.

Any country in SE Asia. If you get out of Bangkok, Thailand is stable, relatively free, and not full of peak degeneracy. Malaysia has better economic prospects, but I'd be worried that it will start copying China in the future. The Philippines can also be pretty good for an expat, and if you are the Christian Ernst, it's Christian. Baguio is a sizable city in the mountains, with a temperate highland climate, and a long history as a livable expat center.
>>
No. 35224
>>35219
These things you're talking about obviously don't count unless you're already at least middle class, not a working person who can't even afford or it's a problem trying to afford leaving the country to begin with.

As an aside, one of the worst things I've noticed is how blithely people born into the upper echelons of society ignore or are totally oblivious to the problems of the class below them. I can't even imagine how oblivious to the problems of the middle class an oligarch would be in this country.
>>
No. 35225
>>35207
You could work on a ship to pay your passage, like what people would have done previously.
>>
No. 35227
>>35224
For Chile yes, but for India, not necessarily. The cost of living there is ridiculously low, as is the cost of medical care. Like, a few hundred dollars a month to get by, depending on city. If you can save a few thousand a year, a few years may be enough to get settled.

There's also still a few countries where you can teach English with just a high school diploma.
https://www.internationalteflacademy.com/blog/bid/74176/no-degree-no-problem-the-6-best-countries-to-teach-english-without-a-college-degree

You can get a TEFL certification for 1500 to a few thousand dollars (depending on the quality... for places like Cambodia, an even cheaper online-only one might work), and then you have a free pass into a lot of foreign countries and a guaranteed job. I know that's a lot if you can only save a few hundred a month, but if you just want to get the fuck out of here ASAP, that's your best bet, because you don't need savings to support yourself on for years to come.

Hell, a photoshopped fabricated certificate would probably get you into some countries if you're really desperate.
>>
No. 35228
>>35225
This isn't possible anymore. Trust me, I've looked it up.
>>
No. 35229
I should stop consuming sugar.
I was tempted again today and ate some cookies with milk.
Now I'm so sleepy I can barely keep my eyes open. Sugar crash is real.
>>
No. 35230
196 kB, 900 × 900
20 kB, 644 × 219
>I suffer on the temperate climate zone
>>
No. 35233
Had a small cup of Russian vodka yesterday. Damn, we don't know how to make vodka here. It was really good. Warmed the throat, had a slight alcoholic aftertaste, but otherwise nothing. Just like how it should taste.
Though "sadly" this takes off the sake from the bargaining table for Christmas. Not like it matters.

Already figured out which book to as for. They published a new edition of The Epic of Manas a few years ago, and it's something that's interesting, because it's from Central Asia and written by a nomadic group of horse riding people, but I wouldn't necessarily sacrifice any money myself to get a copy of.

I finally was able to break some ice yesterday. I read a short story by Ryunosuke Akutagawa. He is one of those authors I keep finding myself coming back to for some reason.
Whenever I can't concentrate for a few days and I'm desperate and ready for bed, I stay up for some reason and subconsciously pull down a volume of his from the shelf, crack it open, and read a random short story. No idea why.

>>35230
>Brisbane
I wanted to move there when I was 14. Is it arid or humid right now?
If it's humid, then it can't be that bad. Problems start when the air is like in a jungle. Heavy, wet and warm.
>>
No. 35235
>>35233
>Russian vodka
Yeah, I'm pretty sure there is a vast difference between exported Russian vodka and Russian vodka for local consumption. Back in my uni days I had the pleasure of drinking vodkas with an exquisite fragrance of paint thinner and a subtle aftertaste of old rubber, and in the morning after the degustation I had no stronger desire than to cuddle with a toilet bowl. The best vodka I ever drunk was Finnish (Saaimaa — there oughtta be some umlauts over letters there, but I can't be arsed to put them), but it wasn't much better than decent local vodkas while being two times more expensive — for that price I could buy some okayish whiskey, and whiskey is superior to vodka, IMO. There are two signs of a good vodka: 1) it shouldn't be disgusting when you drink it; 2) it shouldn't give you a hellish hangover. That's it. Self-proclaimed sommeliers who claim to be able to differ the nuances of the taste of vodka are full of shit.
>>
No. 35236
>>35233
Manas is ebin. Not my favourite of the epic heroes (I'm partial to Alpamys for the rad as hell ending) but breddy cool. Tbh though, I'd rate The Book of Words (Qara Sózderi) as the more interesting work of Turkic literature.

Also, why would you want to move here? Brisbane is a shithole that I came to because moving out at 18 limited my options regarding affordability (I could rent a room from my gran for less than I could rent a room from a real landlord). It's designed poorly, public transport is shit and expensive, private vehicle ownership is expensive, you actually have to travel in to town for a lot of things instead of everything being spread out and the climate is literally cancer-inducing.

Make your own mind up as to whether this seems pleasant.

http://www.bom.gov.au/places/qld/brisbane/observations/brisbane/

At the time of posting, it's 1:30AM, 81% humidity, for a 'feels like' temperature of 27.4 degrees celsius. The hottest point yesterday was around 1PM and got to 38.6 degrees celsius.
>>
No. 35238
>>35235
>vodkas with an exquisite fragrance of paint thinner and a subtle aftertaste of old rubber
Well, that's what most people think vodka is.
How sad the world is, really, that most people know good things through their most shallow incarnations.

>1) it shouldn't be disgusting when you drink it; 2) it shouldn't give you a hellish hangover
Exactly the conclusion I was trying to reach but was too autistic to put into words.
Is there even a market for "luxury" vodka? To me it always seemed like vodka was a drink for alcoholics or people who just simply despise the taste of other alcoholic drinks.
No self important bearded tosser would go around rating high-end vodkas like they do it with wine. (Right?)

>>35236
>Also, why would you want to move here?
At the time Australia seemed to me like this magical far-away wonderland with a high living standard. Not to mention it's an Anglo nation, and I speak English.
Why Brisbane? I don't really know. I just looked at a map, saw that it's a major city but far away from other major cities and I thought it could be nice.
TL;DR The whole plan had no basis in reality
>>
No. 35239
3,5 MB, 1280 × 720, 0:32
>>35230
>Smoke Haze
>>
No. 35240
>>35236
>Manas is ebin. Not my favourite of the epic heroes (I'm partial to Alpamys for the rad as hell ending) but breddy cool. Tbh though, I'd rate The Book of Words (Qara Sózderi) as the more interesting work of Turkic literature.
Noted btw. Valuable information.
>>
No. 35241
I'm not sure if taking this job was a good idea, if I should have just gotten into unable-to-work-retirement. Good thing is I get to be close to my aging parents (and get paid), bad thing is I'm stressed and fall dead into bed every night.
>>
No. 35242
>>35238
Actually vodka really and truly is the drink of choice for alcogolics. Why? Because usually it doesn't actually give you a hangover, at least most of the time. You can drink a bottle of it and wake up the next day and go to work half drunk but otherwise feeling pretty fine. I've had many a morning where I woke up and for once felt like it was a beautiful day which I never do because I absolutely hate mornings. Plus it doesnt actually taste that bad usually, not even most of the bottom shelf stuff, whereas all the rest of them do and they do give you massive hangovers with the sole exception of brandy and courvoisier but man am I glad that I don't drink anymore.
>>
No. 35244
>>35242
It's pretty obvious that you never drank crappy vodka. Also, alcoholics here usually deal with the hangover by "fight fire with fire" method: whenever they feel bad, they just drink some more.

>am I glad that I don't drink anymore
I can say without any irony or sarcasm: good for you. Alcoholism is fucking retarded.
>>
No. 35258
>>35238
>At the time Australia seemed to me like this magical far-away wonderland with a high living standard. Not to mention it's an Anglo nation, and I speak English.
New Zealand is pretty much this, though my impressions are naturally colored by the dystopian country I was visiting from.

When the rest of the world is burning, the Kiwis will be chilling out wondering why there are so few Chinese and American tourists these days.
>>
No. 35259
>>35207
>this time I'll be taking the same route back to Europe as they did away from it. I have no faith in this country at all at this point and quite frankly I cannot even imagine any real reason to stay
I'm sorry but this is just too much. I have difficulty seeing this as a anything but a self-hating muh heritaging American whining about living in the first world.
I do know a guy who moved to Ireland because of his heritage (and because of a LDR). He also still has some family there.
There is also this girl. She is an American that moved to Germany because of muh heritage:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fh2r44rzLpc
I think she integrated rather well as I wasn't able to tell that she wasn't a native german until she said she was American.
Maybe a native german would be able to tell though.

I doubt going to Europe will truly fix your problems.
If you don't have real familial ties to the country and do not know the language, it would be idiotic to move.
>>
No. 35260
>>35258
Dunno if it changed since, but when I lived there, the country had a very sharp line between doing okay and poverty. They had a lot of issues with low wages and high cost of living thanks to having to import so much.
>>
No. 35261
>>35244
I drank plenty of crappy vodka before too. There is a strong difference between rotgut and normal bottom shelf vodka like Popov or whatever. There also are indeed different grades of vodka and personally I think Grey Goose is pretty shit and not far from bottom shelf. I did however have some vodkas that were like drinking ice water. Like Kru. That was a good vodka.
>>
No. 35265 Kontra
>>35259
>Maybe a native german would be able to tell though.

Her accent can't be overheard, tho she is defintely fluent and it's not broken German I've seen Americans living in Germany on Youtube once when I was bored and most of them really got into trouble just pronouncing single words from the few seconds I took a listen.
>>
No. 35266 Kontra
>>35259
It has nothing at all to do with muh hurritage. I'd be a total alien there and the only reason they wouldnt be 100% alien to me is murican cultural imperialism. It doesn't have anything to do with self hate either. I love myself and I love my Constitution and freedom. The problem is a majority of America doesn't and they're as much alien to me at this point as any European would be. The difference is I at least would finally be able to escape from this dystopian shithole.
>would be better
It quantifiably would be in many other countries. I read something interesting about how many people escaping from sick cultures can become normalized again and that it is difficult not to succumb to warped group and cultural norms for most people so basically you remove the individual from the sick society you cure the individual. I can't find it right now but hopefully I'll find the article later.
>>
No. 35278
>>35242
Most alcoholics like it because it has a good price-to-alcohol ratio, and is odourless.
You can suck a cup dry, and then kiss somebody after, they wouldn't know you had any alcohol.
Most alcoholics here do what the Belarusernst said. They double down on their drinking to postpone the hangover indefinitely, whether it be through drinking that last few sips of beer from the bottom of the cans from yesterday night's drinking, or by simply going to the store and buying a small bottle of "Flavoured Alcoholic Drink* and chugging it down before work.
A lot of shops have those tiny, empty bottles lying about every morning. City slang calls them "Rockets" or "Workman's Grenade".
I guess what I was on about is that I don't recall an alcoholic ever giving a shit about hangover. By the time they reach the point of no return, they aren't going to care anyway. That's why they don't drink anything resembling a proper alcoholic drink any more, just fake-brandies that are nothing but flavoured ethanol.
>>
No. 35279
13 kB, 297 × 297
I quite enjoy my life but Christmas frightens me. I may have developed a Christmas phobia and I'm not joking, it's a real phobia, I can't stand it. I usually go on vacations from the 23rd of December to the 5th of January but my wife forced me to spend christmas and N Year's Eve with her family last year and it would be an understatement to say I am not comfy with doing this again
>>
No. 35305
Today was good. Read a few pages about Elizabethan theatre and also took some notes.

I had a coffee and listened to a few John Coltrane albums while reading.
After finishing reading, I started having feverish daydreams about learning ancient Greek again, and it's killing me.
Though I recently realised, that even I were born a hundred years earlier, I still wouldn't know Greek or Latin, because I would have been a peasant living in Southern Hungary speaking either German or Hungarian. (Maybe both.)
I want everything. I want to learn Chinese too. My remaining two life goals. To learn Chinese and ancient Greek.
You know what, I'm going to practice German today. I'll read a Kafka short story and look up every single word I don't know.
Holy shit I'm mad. That coffee made my fucking blood boil. I have no reaction image that'd express the kind of anger I'm feeling.
>>
No. 35307
133 kB, 1280 × 720
I'm thinking about buying a Xiaomi Mi Notebook Air 12.5

Does Ernst know of any other lightweight + fanless notebooks that can handle browsing and writing just fine I need at least 4GB RAM for an application that is an academic note box for around 500€? Disk Space shouldn't be too small either

It shouldn't look to crappy either. Also are most of these small notebooks with glassy screen?
The market seems full of these things, tho I really want a fanless one. Should I wait for another half year because some "revolution" is to be expected in that regard?
>>
No. 35313 Kontra
1,4 MB, 1920 × 1080
I'm a fucking idiot. I'm so fucking mad you guys can't even fucking imagine it.
I spent a fucking hour looking up Greek and Chinese textbooks.
It's fucking meaningless. Holy shit why am I so mad? Fuck coffee, fuck the English language and fuck all these constraints.

I'm going to drink and then go to bed because I can't be arsed to deal with whatever this is.
God damn it all.
>>
No. 35316
>>35307
https://www.tiendatoshiba.es/portatiles/2730-toshiba-satellite-pro-r50-c-1e8-4051528371710.html
388,76€

as an example. Quality

And you buy from a company which is not Chinese i.e. enemy of freedom
>>
No. 35321
21,9 MB, 640 × 360, 5:00
I have just discovered the most amazing little animal today. Apparently the female only ovulates for 12 hours. This little guy has only one chance to procreate for a 12 hour window every year. That seems...not the best of plans for a rodent.
>>
No. 35325
>>35321
That is incredible. The video, I mean. Thanks for posting it.
>>
No. 35326
Conversation I had with mom today
>"The bastard has pissed all over the floor again"
>"I think the litter box might be full"
>"I'm not talking about the cat, I'm talking about your father"
:-DDDDDD
Then of course he fell asleep on the couch in his pissed pants, now the couch smells like piss.
Btw we've got guests coming over.
>>
No. 35327
Came back from an exhausting but also kind of fulfilling night shift.
Most of the time I've been listening to an audiobook of Stefan Zweig's "Die Welt von gestern/The World of Yesterday" while working and it's really highly interesting and well written. He wrote it in exile and without any notes, so the whole autobiography is kind of a stream of consciousness about culture, politics, literature, sexuality etc.
I can only recommend it to anyone.
Also the nightshift ended pleasantly when me and a co-worker who does the early shifts at the kitchen sometimes got to talk a bit.
We've seen each other a couple of times but never really did that as I was usually on the run but this time I just mentioned that I was a bit scatterbrained this night and she asked why. It came out that she was working as a journalist as well so we talked for a bit longer the first time.
Interesting thing is I already had the feeling that she was a sophisticated woman but her job and the heavy smoking (really rough voice) mixed with her teary eyes kind of made her seem working-class. She works on her doctorate in history.
It was a beautiful moment somehow, my eyelids falling down out of tiredness why she would just talk and talk like a waterfall and do stuff in the kitchen inbetween. Her eyes always look like she'd almost be crying. After half an hour she let me go and I'm sure I'll sleep well tonight.
>>
No. 35334
>>35307
I'm also searching for a decent laptop. Budget is 0 and €2500. My first concern is battery life so not a gaming laptop; then I'd like to have a decent CPU so not a chromebook. I wanted to buy an XPS but after reading reviews of consumers who said they had throttling problems and I'm not so sure anymore. My banker told me I'd be an idiot and it would be sad if I bought a Mac pro, I don't even remember how or why we had a conversation about the laptop I wanted to buy but I guess I should get a NERDpad, honestly I'am lost.
>>
No. 35340
>>35334
No interesting technology has been developed for laptops in the past ~10 years that would justify spending a lot of money.
Get a used laptop from ebay that some idiot replaced with a newer model. Especially with thinkpads you can get very potent hardware dirt cheap if you buy used models. Thinkpads that cost 1000+ when they were new 5 years ago are available for less than 300 on ebay and they are always a better investment than any new laptop for under 500. In other words: Used laptops that were expensive 5 years ago are cheaper and better than new mid-range laptops.

The main developments in tech between 2010 and 2015 were power efficiency in CPUs and better displays. From 2015 to today almost nothing has changed.
The exception is if you want to watch Netflix, Disney+, Amazon Prime etc in 4k; in that case you get fucked by DRM requiring very specific hardware. We can expect this shit to be the driving force for people to buy new devices every two years because some anti-feature will prevent devices older than 2 years from streaming the newest content.
>>
No. 35344
>>35340
At first I wanted to get a 4k display but it seems to take a serious toll on battery life and I wonder if 4K is worth the extra cost on a 15" or 13" screen. I'm also surprised technology hasn't advanced much on the laptop market.
>>
No. 35349
Today we cleaned the basement. It had a lot of junk in it, left there by the previous owner.
It was like entering a time machine. All these old, manual tools and little artifects.
Funniest one was a pack of fags with the brand name "Worker". There were even a few fags left in it. They were filterless.

Tomorrow I'm going to go in and attend classes. I almost caught up with the studies I missed, and now I'm back at square one again.
But hey, at least I'm not dead.
>>
No. 35350
>>35340
>Used laptops that were expensive 5 years ago are cheaper and better than new mid-range laptops.

I heard that as well. I was considering an older Microsoft Surface Laptop or Microsoft Surface Pro. But they are still quite expensive.
Any other silent and lightweight price monster from the last 4 years you can recommend or that surely dropped in price? My rather fast research into older machines it seems like they did not drop in price really, there are hard dips, but within a month the windows surface laptop 1 went from 600€ to 850€, perhaps because it's X-Mas soon?

I'm also looking for battery life ofc, but given that I don't need a power horse anyway I could go with an i5 easily, as long as the fan will stay silent for another 5 years. Because my current Dell business laptop has an i5, its fine, but the fan had it in bed nearly all the time tho and weight are giving me a hard time. The fan problem could be solved by removing dust, but 4-5kg is too much, given that I have books and water to carry as well.
>>
No. 35352
>>35350
Look at the Thinkpad x230-240 or the T-series (T420-450). They usually drop pretty steeply in price after 3-4 years and are top notch in quality.
>>
No. 35356
>>35352
They still are quite heavy in comparison to other ultrabooks. They aren't that thin and look rather bulky. The only thing might be the keyboard, I don't really need power but just low weight and silence. Lots of review show people gaming, somebody tested the x240 with GTA V, I think. I don't need that power, I want to browse and write with Word, that's it. And I want to do that with a comfortable keyboard, in (guaranteed) silence and nearly without noticing it in my backpack.

Anyway, many Ultrabooks are multigenerational under the same name. So looking for a Dell XPS 13 e.g will give you steep prices until you realized you have to add the old generational number- Don't know why I haven't realized that earlier. You can find a Dell XPS 13 from 2016 for around 500€ used. Will give all the thin higher priced ultrabooks a similar research and then eventually buy one next in the near future. What's bad is that I cannot test the keyboard. My biggest fear. I like it having depth and that seems a no-no on ultrabooks.
>>
No. 35364
Business owner came in today, caught me with no hat. Took a swipe as though we are close enough for that to be banter and not him taking the piss.

Tbh, its stupid as hell because its record high temperatures lately, its a stinking hot kitchen and I have less hair than some of the other guys have on their chin, but beard nets arent mandatory. Hell, less of my hair is open when not wearing a hat, than most people have showing while wearing hats. Its so stupid, and his word has made us break so many regulations in the past that I dont believe for a second that he genuinely cares about the rules, just the power trip.

Fucking slob comes in from his air conditioned office all judgmental. Cant stand him. The new venue manager is also very fake. You can tell that he is putting on the nice guy act.
>>
No. 35365
>>35364
I used to work in a restaurant when I was a student during summer breaks. It was so hot you'd think you had just landed in hell so I can't even imagine how hellish it must be in Australia.
>>
No. 35368
>>35350
I can't see much difficulty in riceing an old laptop, perhaps a niche area for an entrepreneur Bernd.
>>
No. 35369
>>35365
It is relatively cool today. Maybe 35ish in the kitchen. Im expecting low 40s later in the week though.

Yeah. Cant wait to get out of this industry.
>>
No. 35371
49 kB, 1024 × 768
>>35305
>>35313
>I'm a fucking idiot. I'm so fucking mad you guys can't even fucking imagine it.
>I spent a fucking hour looking up Greek and Chinese textbooks.
>It's fucking meaningless. Holy shit why am I so mad? Fuck coffee, fuck the English language and fuck all these constraints.
I felt similarly at 18. And at 22. And for most of the last 4 years. "There's so much to do, and so little time to do it! I've already lost so much time! How could I possibly embark on such great undertakings now - it's already too late! If only I had been born such that my natural intelligence was better complimented by the circumstances of my upbringing! Truly, woah is me!"

But if, at age 18, I had decided to spend one hour a day on rigorous language study, I would by now have spent 3000 hours on it - enough to know both Chinese and Ancient Greek, or to become fluent in every Romance language twice over. But I was a massive faggot who kept thinking "there's so little time! It's too late! How could I start now?", and thought that way about every important skill I wanted to acquire. Guess what? I don't have any of those skills today.

But with time, I've killed off that stupid nagging voice in my head, and I actually feel less anxiety about the things I haven't done and have yet to do. I realize how stupid it is - the anxiety is the only thing that actually prevents you from doing anything. So today, I'm making more regular gains in productive learning than I have since I was younger than you, and I feel reasonably certain that I can learn several languages to conversational or reading ability within a few years. Beyond that, I'm making regular progress on all my other goals, and that's all that you can ask for in life.

For your situation in particular, most cultures expected the process of learning to last well into your 20s, so you really are just being a massive faggot. If you're 30 and still stuck treading water, maybe you can start panicking, but FFS man. You're about to have 4 years where your only expectation from the outside world is to learn stuff, with a much more open schedule and independent direction than you had in high school. And then after that, you have eight years before you really need to shift out of learning mode into production mode (not that you can't produce valid work while learning). Even if you spend 500 hours learning ancient Greek only to say, "maaaan, fuck So Crates, I don't know why I wasted so much time on this shitty language", that's only a tiny fraction of the time you have left to create the ideal version of yourself - and even false starts can bring unforeseen benefits in the future.

tl;dr JUST DO IT, don't let your dreams become memes, watch Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EXFilTUiko
>>
No. 35378
Today I went to the library to see if we have an Ancient Greek textbook.
I found one by the title short and abrupt title, "Greek Textbook". Not even on the inside did it state whether it contains information on "New-greek" or "Old-greek".
Though it was a textbook on ancient Greek in the end. Though it was quite shitty and "unfriendly" to put it that way. The only value is that it contains actual texts you can read from fables to reading Plato and Homer.

I found a letter inside. A few little lines, written in the Old Hungarian Script. I spent the remainder of my free time decoding that. At first I expected it to be a love letter.
Then as I pieced it together, it was quite the contrary. A declaration of never wishing for love.
Probably a girl wrote it. It was about how she never wishes to marry, for fear of breaking up and having to raise her kids alone.
Quite sad. I put it back where it was, though I left a small inscription on the paper stating that "It wasn't for me, yet I've solved it. Now it's history".

I spent two Euros on books. Two volumes by György Lukács. One is "The Theory of the Novel", the other is "The Historical Novel".
The Gypsy bastard selling the books has raised the prices yet again. Not only is he selling books for 2 Euros a piece, now there are volumes that are "individually prices", that is, "I'm going to ask as much money for it as if I were a proper antiquarian or an online retailer".
Fuck that.

>>35371
Well, thank you for the motivational speech.
Today I've realized that I'm not actually that late.
I think the crisis started when I dug a bit deeper into the Iliad and the Odyssey, while also looking at the biography of Hungarian poet, novelist, translator, editor and essayist Mihály Babits, who spoke English, German, Latin, Italian, French and Greek fluently. I felt a bit jealous.
Then today as I was expressing my feelings as a way to conclude this chapter to the literature teacher, she told me it's not too late at all to learn a couple more languages.
And indeed, looking closer at the biography of this poetry- giant, the man learnt Greek fluently after graduating university and having spent three years as a teacher in a backwater town in Transylvania. And Latin, he studied at the university. Same with French.
So I'm not late. My goals differ quite a bit, but really, I already speak both English and German. The only thing missing is that HS tier knowledge of Latin grammar. Though Latin never really interested me for some reason. It's like our culture's white noise.

So I'm fucking going to do it. Don't know what comes after that, but I'm fucking going to do it.

Also: TTGL was better than it had any right to be. It was incredibly good.
>>
No. 35381
>>35378
np. Believe in the Ernst that believes in you.

>Though Latin never really interested me for some reason. It's like our culture's white noise.
Rather, it's the vehicle for our culture's intellectuals during our intellectual lowpoint. It's great if you want to read theological tracts or saints' lives, but back when things used to be good everyone wrote in Greek, and when things started being good again people wrote in vernacular languages. Any Romance language, even Romanian or Catalan, would be of more value than the ancient Mediterranean's equivalent of Manchu.
>>
No. 35383
32 kB, 600 × 443
I have to admit the poetic quality of the book is quite heavy, my English hits the limit on nearly every page. I would have to constantly look up words.

Yet, this book really is enchanting something.

There exists and excellent podcast on the book by the author, his publisher and another scholar
https://soundcloud.com/urbanomic/maniac-lullabies

I borrowed a book from Ernst Bloch about Renaissance philosophy, it seemed interesting after reading the Dialectic of the Enlightenment, rather short, but it's boook number 60 or so from all the books currently borrowed and lying on my floor and bed.
>>
No. 35384 Kontra
>>35383

Great, have the post is missing. Fucking unstable internet connection. I thought I copysaved the whole post...
>>
No. 35386
488 kB, 847 × 567
96 kB, 1500 × 1470
>>35378
>I found a letter inside. A few little lines, written in the Old Hungarian Script.
Amazing. Could you guess how old the note was? 20 years or 50? Adding your own words to the history was a nice touch. I wonder who will find it next.

There are a some neighborhood trees which have seed pods hanging from their branches, so I plucked a few. Why? Who knows, I guess I was thinking I could plant them in a small pot or something. Anyway, I thought they were Maple trees-because of the distictive leaf. Nope. Using the seed pod as a guide, it turns out they're Sycamore trees. They have leaves with a similar lobe/palm shape, but in a side-by-side comparison it's easy to see the difference. So I learned that today. As for those seed pods, a website says they need to be dried out to properly extract the seed, and then planted in the Spring. So, I'll just put them somewhere dry for now. Honestly I probably shouldn't plant them, because they'd get too big within a year or so.
>>
No. 35387
>>35386
I’d wager it’s pre-smartphone era, but post-communist.
So really, anywhere between 1990 and 2010 is a possibility, but I’d say that the early 2000s is more probable, simply because it talks f the life of a single mother in such a stereotypical manner that it must’ve been influenced by a considerable amount of American media.
And the paper itself was white. Older paper becomes yellow.
But that’s just my estimation.
>>
No. 35390
Bus driver closed my arm in the door and was blaming me because I stopped to retap my card when the first tap didnt register and he wasnt paying attention. Called him a fucking merchant and said that I wasnt gonna give him the not tapping off fine. The look when they dont expect the crackback is gold tbh.
>>
No. 35398
>>35387
>simply because it talks [o]f the life of a single mother in such a

You would be surprised how stable some discourses and discourse patterns are over a certain amount of time/decades/centuries. Single moms are not a phenomenon of the last two decades or so and I guess its has many constants that can be witnessed still in our days. Perhaps statistics would show an increase tho, but that's just gutty leftovers from years of imageboard dwelling, where people bemoan the decline of (wectern) civilisation while having a several pornhub tabs open.

But your estimation due to paper being still white might not be too wrong.
>>
No. 35406
Today was pleasant. Got my bookreport handed back to me. Apparently it was "Dry but good."
Which is good considering I gave maybe half a fuck while writing it and just wrote down whatever shit came to my mind regarding the book.

I've copped myself a single volume textbook-workbook on Greek. Just to calm my soul a bit. It was surprisingly cheap. You'd expect something like this to be really-really expensive even used, but it wasn't even 10 euros and it's a brand new book.
This could be a mental illness of sorts. Even when I was a Child, I'd have these "manic" phases when I'd get excited about stuff like ancient Egypt and I'd consume whatever I could get my hands on about the given subject. (This also included reading and learning how a lot of video games worked.)
So I'm constantly afraid that my interests are not genuine and are "just a phase".
I just really don't want to be the Toad of Toad Hall.

I had a siesta in the afternoon after I got home. That means I'm going to have a bad time sleeping tonight.

>>35398
It's just that in the letter, the author seemed so aware and cynical. (Though not aware in this post-ironic cringe culture way that we are aware of ourselves today. She felt genuine.)
Though it's unimportant when this was written. It's just a small but unusual episode in someone's life that seeped into my life on accident.
Dating the letter is just a (fun) thought-experiment/guess game.

>>35390
Public transport workers are probably on the same level of complexity as amoebas and other single-cell lifeforms are.
Technically speaking they have no authority over you (at least here), and people only follow their orders out of ignorance or politeness.
>>
No. 35407
>>35406
I ain't got a problem with them. I had issues with the guy acting like I'm at fault because he didn't do his job right. Had I actually fucked up, the story might be different, but I didn't. Their shithouse card scanner didn't read my card properly and I tried to do the right thing (and avoid paying a fine off of my card next time I get on the bus), copping his door for my troubles. It's ironic because they're running a "bus drivers are people too" campaign, which is fair since they do cop some shit, but they act as though they never actually deserve to cop it, which they occasionally sure as hell do.
>>
No. 35411
Well I have some new fish so that's nice. It's kind of funny I think if I became truly rich the one nice thing I'd actually want to do for myself is get massive amounts of fish tanks and expensive fish and maybe open up a pet store. That is all I want.

I'm trying this again after the fish holocaust. Trying to build a stable and breeding fish community is incredibly frustrating even with guppies. Due to what happened the last time I have a total of 4 surviving fish that grew from fry as the result of two years worth of trying to cross them. Purebred strains are just way too fragile. I'm hoping that this time I can actually get some breeding females and will be keeping their spawn in multiple smaller tanks in case anything happens again.
>>
No. 35412
>>35406
>You'd expect something like this to be really-really expensive even used, but it wasn't even 10 euros and it's a brand new book.
You'd be surprised - you can pick up a very good text/workbook for Nahuatl on Amazon for just $25. No language learning book should cost more than that.

>I'd have these "manic" phases when I'd get excited about stuff like ancient Egypt and I'd consume whatever I could get my hands on about the given subject.
This is simply called "curiosity". Everyone above [arbitrary IQ cutoff] has it.
>>
No. 35441
686 kB, 607 × 625
The best thing about coffee stands is talking to the girls serving the coffee. All those coffee stand businesses must have a policy to explicitly hire grey mice who get nervous while handling the machine, with awkwardness that reveals their performance anxiety. The service industry sure is getting crafty. No wonder they can sell coffee for such ridiculous prices and still stay in business.
There's something deeply erotic about a girl timidly lifting a coffee machine lever.

-

I visited my brother's investor's office for some stuff today, and they had some guy over at the presentation room with a sales pitch. We attended because we were waiting on something and there was nothing else to do.
The guy was representing a new webapp/service, basically an aggregated marketplace where shops can input their stock, and users can browse compare prices between different sellers, see the nearest store, check shipping details, order, pay and buy on credit all from one place instead of looking through a dozen web stores. There's already such services, but they're exclusive to certain banks, and developed by those banks. This one aims to have multiple banks available for payment.

Now, I've already forgotten most of the pitch, but the guy said they had 80 people on the dev team, including some freelance workers, and that the interface was designed by "one of the leading UX designers in the world". He showed the demo of the app and it looks like any other app, and works like you'd expect. White background, black text, and bright, colorful buttons.
80 people on the dev team. Path of Exile started with 25 people, now it has 125. It's an infinitely more complex piece of software, requiring a lot more content production, with higher performance demands both on client and server side, serving an order of magnitude more people, compared to a web store.

Is it me or is the whole web dev industry a huge bubble?
>>
No. 35444
2,4 MB, 4032 × 3024
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Today I walked a bit around in the city.
Visited the garden of the National Museum. Also took a few photos of it for you guys.

The building itself was constructed in the neoclassical style. It was recently renovated, alongside with the garden around it.
In front of the building stands the statue of János Arany, the leading literary figure of the 19th century after Sándor Petőfi's death in 1848.
Abroad he is best known for his ballad "The Bards of Wales", while in Hungary he is chiefly remembered for his trilogy of epic poems centred around Miklós Toldi.
The statue depicts him in a sitting position. Below him sits his hero, Toldi with his shield and the skin of the wolf he kills in an episode of the first part of the trilogy. (This episode commonly is called "Farkaskaland" or "The Wolf-adventure" in Hungary.)

On the left of the building stands a smaller statue depicting Count Ferenc Széchényi, who in 1802 donated his personal collection to help the founding of the National Museum.
The Széchenyi Family was a family of aristocrats best remembered for the father-son duo of Ferenc and István Széchenyi, who in the 19th century "Reform era" advocated and funded cultural and economical modernisation and reform programs.
Ferenc Széchényi founded the National Museum and the National Library, while his son, István founded the National Academy of Sciences and the first permanent bridge on the Danube, the Chain Bridge.

After I checked out the nearby book carts I went to pick up my package. I had to pick it up at a university bookstore. At first I was hesitant as to how to approach the place. Do I just walk in?
Turns out the answer is yes. I just walked in and looked for the store. Found it in 10 seconds.
The man behind the counter seemed good natured and generally jolly.
He wished for me to "find joy" in that Greek exercise book I got.
For some reason I held this belief that uni-bookstores were only for university students and not open to the general public.
The textbook itself is fine. It lays out the basics of the grammar and then it has a hundred pages' worth of grammar and translation exercises.
(So it was meant to be used alongside the larger edition which has in depth grammar and the "look, here retard" part.)

Today I also got the great-grand-jolly news that despite changing my administrative status to a "Student Advancing in an Individual Pace" (As in, I don't have to attend classes), I'll still have to take the midterm and the end of the year exams, because the government twisted and turned the regulations until this was the case.
So next week, after 5 or so years of studying as a "Private Student", I'm going to transfer back to being a normal student because this is just plain bullshit.
The only exemption is that I'm going to avoid PE classes by getting a doctor's note.
Fuck the system. It's like it was designed to suck my blood.
Though this means I'll have to visit "lifestyle" and "media" classes. So I'm also going to use my status and fame among the teachers to negotiate a "separate peace" and avoid those classes by just simply handing in a few, longer essays. I like writing.
>>
No. 35445
2,3 MB, 4032 × 3024
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Also, here is a bronze maquette of the building itself.

The other two statues I photographed were of Ferenc Kazinczy and Dániel Berzsenyi.

Kazinczy was the leading figure of the Hungarian literary scene in the late 17th century.
He spearheaded the language renewal movement and with the help of the liberal intelligentsia of his era helped develop a new spelling system for Hungarian, and also creating new words, terms and expressions to weed out the influences of Latin, German and Greek from the Hungarian language.

Berzsenyi was a poet. Kazinczy's contemporary if I remember correctly. But they weren't fond of each other, because Kazinczy followed the tenets of classicism, while the detached, rural Berzsenyi was accidentally already developing a more melancholic, almost proto-romantic tone focused on feelings instead of form.
Kazinczy wrote a devastating critique of Berzsenyi's poems, and the latter stopped publishing altogether, shelving his later poems to be published posthumous.
>>
No. 35449
>>35444
>>35445
Nice pics, thanks. I was a bit surprised to see english on the bronze maquette.

>I'm going to transfer back to being a normal student because this is just plain bullshit
So, after you negotiate your way out of the media and lifestyle stuff, how many extra classes will you have to show up for? Will it be pretty much the same as you have now?
>>
No. 35450
2,8 MB, 4032 × 3024
3,5 MB, 4032 × 3024
>>35449
It's one of our most popular attractions and was recently renovated, so it's no surprise that they put up a few English plaques.
Here's another one. I didn't attach it originally because I reached the image limit on my posts.
Also, a bust of Garibaldi with the inscription "To Garibaldi (from) the nation of Hungary"

>how many extra classes will you have to show up for?
Exactly one, which is art class. Though I don't really mind, because I have an empty period after that, which is useful. We're talking about classicism right now. And how the enlightenment wasn't true enlightenment.

Getting rid of Media and Lifestyle just means that I'll be able to go home an hour earlier on two days.
>>
No. 35464
Dear Ernst, I couldn't sleep last night so I stayed awake in the park listening to a talk show. To my amusement, a few Schizo's called in, steering the host off topic and irritating the man to no end. Many laughs were had. As the sun began to rise, I sang a bit of Syd Barrett's The Madcap Laughs with the birds that pillaged the grassy knoll I sat around.
At 6am, a mature woman who wears jogging short shorts and a loose tank top with no bra, came out to collect her morning newspaper. We briefly made eye contact and my benis stood up quickly at her voluptuous body and well defined legs.
From wasting so many hours by this power plug, I'm not only surprised the council hasn't shut off the power or the locals called the bolice on me.
After buying some yoghurt, I bought some head muffs to ameliorate my insomnia and over stimulated fight or flight. At times its a blessing, and during others it won't stop ticking at the thought of foot traffic, traffic, noise, etc.
A brief interlude at the sterile water tank (boil water advisory in effect), I clumsily shuffled to the public piano and tapped for half an hour before retiring to a grassy hill near a bridge. Two hours of rest and I perched back on the piano's stool to play some rabble in my brain.
It was a great session, however not as good or aggressive as yesterday's session, during which a hunchback old lady from the pie shop came old to throw shade upon me and my fingers blitz. One lady told her off in a very kind way. After she left, the hunchback returned to yet again condescend me by exclaiming all of what I had played was horrible garbage. I brushed her off like water off a duck's back and she shot back by asking me if I spoke English. My mind was too focused on music and avoiding any problems with locals to spit out a clever retort. Instead I said that's fine, Rome wasn't built in a day.
She finally gave up for another hour until she yet again told me to stop playing for good, as her day is ruined with my blues, classical mishmash. Jimmies were rustled at this stage and I gave her no reply.
Today I had three obese women entertain themselves with a Philip Glass inspired piece I stitched together with a scale and many pretty girls passed through the area keeping me alert.
I mashed out a bluesy jazz piece before having a break to download more music off of GoSeek. Due to the timezone, most users disconnect fairly soon. Woe is me. Still got one Sun City Girl's album.
As I typed this on my murky phone's screen, many pretty girl's have strutted by. My belief is the full moon has brought most out of the woodwork. Dog bless the moon.

I will go back soon for another hour and a half of practice before charging my shit phone again. If only I asked the cute girl in the shop who raped me with her eyes before I passed out of the buildig, but alas I am a smelly bum.
t.lecher
>>
No. 35484
148 kB, 1024 × 683
On my way home from university in public transport I've seen a female who reminded somehow of the musician Xosar. I wonder if she was from Spain/Mexico, Italy or even born in Germany from southern parents. But it felt like she was an exchange student. Big eyes with red shadow. Very lascivious gaze. Perhaps she was just tired as well.

Also I'm pretty much busy 10h/day, feels wrung.
>>
No. 35486
I wake up to the good news that we now have a coffee machine at home.
So, now I can actually drink espresso at home. Had a double-espresso when I came home. I don't think mind felt this clear since last time I drank tea.
Turns out we don't have small coffee cups at home. So espresso looks quite silly in the cups that were made for cappuccinos.

Now I just have to prepare for tomorrows facultative literature classes.
I lazed around for a week, and didn't bother reading The Siege of Sziget at all. Basically I've been avoiding it consciously. I ran away from it. "Anything but something mandatory!"
I've read Akutagawa and some of Gilgamesh. And Babits's works instead.
So I'm going to do what any good for nothing student of literature does: read the excerpts and included poems from the anthology to the textbook. (That or not bother at all and read a two page summary of Baroque literature and then read Capitalist Realism instead, since I remember the plot from the mainline class.)

Yesterday I tried writing poetry. I decided to write the beginning of an epic in a Homeric metre. After half an hour of dicking around, I couldn't manage to produce a single line of verse in the Homeric metre.
It was either that the dactylus was not the 5th or the last one wasn't a spondeus.
In the end the closest I came to writing a proper line was one where the one before the last WAS a dactylus, the last one WAS a spondeus, but it was one fucking metric feet short.
Translated into English it says "A single line of Homer's is [worth] a thousand of mine"
>>
No. 35503
>>35441
>Is it me or is the whole web dev industry a huge bubble?

CS has been trendy for a while now and for a few years now there are people with a BSc or MSc in CS that started studying not because of interest in programming/theory but for the same reason 95% of people study law or econ.
In other words: For 5 good developers you now have 95 bad ones coming out of your nearest universities' sphincter. And they are all looking for jobs.

Enter: The industry of web-development.

Queue: Laughter and finger pointer.

The development of one such app is a thing that can and should be done by 1-3 people (with 50 people being paid to test the beta and RC for a few hours if you are developing for end-users).

Why are simple apps developed by an army rather than a single person? Because the army exists. Yes, it's a bubble but it's not so clean when or why it will burst.
>>
No. 35504
The one real bad thing about owning fish and fish keeping as a hobby for a younger not well to do person is it really creates a drag on the more nomadic lifestyle of such a person in modern society. I'm supposed to move and already I've got overstocked tanks all of which is going to be a logistical nightmare especially in the dead of winter.

For those who don't know you cant just drop a fish into tap water. After the water is filtered you need to establish a nitrogen cycle of bacteria to help filter the water otherwise the fish will suffocate in their own urine and uneaten food or rotting plant matter basically. Moving of course disrupts this severely and all at once so I'm going to be doing nothing but water changes and I somehow have to do this in such manner that my tropical fish aren't going to freeze to death in the move. I have also not had as much luck as I was anticipating so far locating a 30-55 gallon tank, or preferably a new 20g and new 55g so I can move my goldfish into an actually acceptable living space which I happily realized with the move of him it's not like I'm just getting a tank for the goldfish but freeing up a full 30g for some other fish. Once I get something like that and especially if I can hunt down a second new tank I should be all set.

The problem of course is actually emptying and filling the things. With just one new tank I'm looking at well over a hundred gallons of fresh totally germ and contaminant free water I need immediately, which come to think of it I really doubt flouride bullshit is too healthy for fish either. This also means making sure my new landlord is cool with a thing like that since they're all so bitchy about pets mainly because noise and damage, and having over a hundred gallons of fishwater is a tough sell.

I wish I could be like that guy in Israel. That must be nice to have your own place and not have to deal with shit from other people and have the means to just make all this happen because money. I figure all I really truly need is a 55 gallon tank and a stand plus some other abandoned furniture for my other tanks.

And to think I didn't get a dog all those years ago because I was afraid of the responsibilities in moving and not having time to care for him.
>>
No. 35515
217 kB, 900 × 675
Well, I had good fun today.
Extra lit classes were really enjoyable. Turns out I remembered more about baroque art than I would have thought.
After classes the teacher invited us to the school's bakery sale. We each had a pastry. They also served Glühwein. I had myself a cup, a so did some of my classmates. It put me in quite a good mood.
We stayed after class a bit and just talked randomly. Then after somebody decided to leave, I decided to go with them. We went in the same direction with the same bus. It was the other guy who knew what the fuck he is doing in class.
We had a good chat, talked of nearly everything. Literature, anime, film, the arts in general.
Pic related is how it felt basically.
It also felt good that I was able to finally rest and listen to someone talking about their interests instead of me trying to shove down my nonsense someone's throat.

Basically, I'm feeling real good today.
>>
No. 35518
>>35504
So, how are you going to solve the transportation of the tropical/exotic fish?
You'll just heat up your car and run for it?
>>
No. 35528
Experienced a very weird episode today. After dropping by at a friend's house in a bumfuck little town, I was on my way through the rain to take my train to work. As I approached the station I saw some guy standing around under the pouring rain despite there being a roofed area right next to him. Something already felt fishy at this point.
As I was a bit too early, I still had to wait for the train for another five minutes. So right as I passed the guy, I heard him spit on the ground. Didn't think too much of it, but the next moment he started hitting a bicycle that was parked next to him. Still, I wasn't too concerned at that point, but then he came up to me. He was shorter than me, wearing some baggy clothes, around 30 yrs old and had some headphones on. So he moved right up to me, and started spitting on the ground in front of me & giving me a challenging look. I wasn't sure how to react and decided to just move away a few metres. As he moved closer again, I pushed him away lightly, and as I looked at his face I realized that he's obviously crazy. So the rest of the time he also started miming as if he'd shoot me and some other people with his finger gun and snorted some insults. He also harassed some other people & I was really getting mad at being unable to do anything but finally the train came. Obviously I would've loved to just punch his head in, but alas we live in a society and it's not like he physically harassed anyone. Maybe I should've tried talking to him somehow but I doubt it would've been worth trying. Maybe threaten to call the cops but that feels like a total pussy move. Still not sure what I should do in a situation like this.
>>
No. 35529
>>35518
I don't have a car. I simply cannot afford to deal with that kind of hassle and shit let alone the fact driving is the #1 way to get in contact with law enforcement which is yet another thing I could do in life where one tiny mistake is going cost me hundreds or even thousands of dollars and possibly criminal charges. A friend of mine actually spent a week in jail because she missed some court summons from a driving thing she thought had been taken care of, and then sent it to a previous address of hers so of course when she doesnt appear they issued a warrant for her arrest which resulted in new charges for failing to appear and they gave her the choice of pay something like $5,000 or spend a week in jail. Of course because she didnt have that kind of money she opted for spending a week in jail which then cost her her job because she ended up being a no call no show several days in a row.

Not that any of this matters because quite frankly a car wouldn't cut it anyway. I need to hire movers for this job which means the fish are getting loaded last and unloaded first. They'll be in enough water to where it won't cool down that quickly and even if it did I'm just going to buy a few hand warmers. I tried transporting the new guys this way in my backpack with a couple hand warmers stuffed under my scarf because those things can get super hot. It was dicey and a bit nerve wracking because I honestly had no clue if they'd be dead by the time I got home because you know how small those little pet store bags are and hand warmers can get so hot it'd boil the fish on direct contact for too long but not close enough and they could possibly freeze to death as I was going back and forth from public transport and walking to the next stop/home. I did this right in the middle of a snowstorm by the way.

I honestly was kind of surprised almost how okay they were so this does at least put me more at ease about moving all of them at once because they should be spending half the time in the moving truck or whatever I use and in much larger containers which can deal with that kind of temperature shock better than a tiny little bag. On the downside, I did have that bag on my back much of the time so they might've benefited from whatever bodyheat or insulation I was providing. Regardless it only cost me a buck thirty for a pair of hand warmers so for a little over ten dollars I can have twenty of the things as portable heat generators to buffer the massive temperature drop while moving. I'm honestly slightly more worried about cycling the water at this point because if I don't get those bacterial colonies regenerating themselves fast enough that's going to be a lot of very dirty water to change for at least two to three weeks while the tanks reestablish themselves.

I also was thinking about using those styrofoam boxes that raw meat and fish gets stored in for restaurants and supermarkets but decided against it because even if I could nab a bunch of those the thought of all that bacteria possibly infecting my fish, or alternatively chemical residues from trying to sterilize them, combined with the risk of them cracking and dumping my fish all over the snowy ground terrified me way too much to even consider it. So I'm just using those plastic rubbermaid kind of tubs.
>>
No. 35530
I have just discovered this today
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfHJUPrahkY

Is tourettes a real disease? I mean I know that it is it's just weird to me how it's supposed to be a real neurological condition and not something people have to control over. Or maybe it's just because having a verbal or other tic is very understandable to me but it's controllable.
>>
No. 35532
30 kB, 561 × 401
38 kB, 500 × 500
>possibly a 55 gallon, a 30 gallon, a 20 and iirc a 40 gallon and something called a biocube
>for as much money as the bank gave me today
I am really not a salesman. On one hand I really don't want to overplay my hand or get scammed; on the other, I don't want to take even the slightest chance at passing up this opportunity. I didn't even find out yet if the tanks are undamaged and moreover at least one of them definitely looks kind of grody. I can tell fish had been in at least a couple so that's a good sign at least because I know a lot of people keep reptiles and some people sometimes keep small mammals in them for some strange reason, which can completely fuck up the glass and more importantly the sealant as hamsters or whatever like to burrow in their bedding and sit there chewing the shit out of it, which I suspect is what happened to my 20 long. It's still scratched to shit and I had to self repair it but it proved relatively easy to do although something as big as a 55 I'm a little less enthusiastic about taking a chance and possibly worn out seals and it leaking all over the place or worst case scenario being real old and suddenly busting in the middle of the night or while I'm at work and returning to find the place flooded with a couple dozen of my beloved fish dead and a very angry landlord and neighbors.

I'm stoked ernst and it makes me nervous being this privately stoked. I expect the absolute worst out of everything to prepare myself for disaster and disappointment.

But onto the salesman thing I'm trying to find the right balance between skepticism and not wanting to blow my money. I'm not even sure how to do this because you don't want to let a good or desired deal slip away from mistrust, but you don't want to just commit yourself to something that proves not to be the value, as I had already done at a garage sale this year because I was nervous something perceived to be valuable and a steal would get nabbed and that proved to have been a failure where I've still got the plated silver and would be lucky to break even on it at this point if I can even unload it.

But oh man. This, this is just great if so. Now I just need to confirm quality that I'm not buying a bunch of cracked pieces of glass that don't hold water and then if they don't work I have effectively solved all my fish problems except stands and furniture in perpetuity provided something terrible doesnt happen like an eviction or fire. I'm terrified of fire. My flat burning down with my fish is becoming a pathology of fear.

This also coincidentally enough I just realized would cost me as much as this weird bank promotion which I am no longer angry but instead happy about because the bank came through and deposited money for me opening and holding an account with them. That's free money, which would be enough to cover the tanks.

It just feels too good to be true. I always expect bad things to happen when I see nice things being possible in my life. It's probably because I'm safe being disappointed by life and morose. It takes courage to be happy.
>>
No. 35542
>>35530
>Is tourettes a real disease?

That whole screaming random words thing is extremely uncommon, most people just uncontrollably do weird stuff with their hands/eyes/feet/whatever
>>
No. 35550
I was grocery shopping when at the frozen foods section an older man asked me to get him the last fish filet with broccoli almond topping from the back of the freezer.
He was quite jovial, a friendly interaction and everyday life situation. But the thought of him being an old and lonely widower or lifetime bachelor made me sad then again perhaps his children and/or grand children visit him quite often, who knows. Makes me think how I will probably be an old lonely man someday.
>>
No. 35558
My mind feels really fresh.
We spent the morning cleaning up the garden. Though it went well enough, I felt that this time the members of the family weren't in complete harmony.
Usually there is that feeling of jovial banter between us, but this time we were genuinely trying to "win" over each other verbally to subjugate the other.

I'm currently looking through the Greek textbooks I have saved on my PC.
One is incredibly old and "hardcore". It was basically written to be used in 1900s classrooms, and then the Commies just face-lifted it a few times so that there is a textbook to teach from.
The other two are relatively new (As in, less than ~20 years old.)
These are more user friendly. And one of them seems to be especially the "made for retards" kind of textbook with really careful introduction. (So, the first "reading practice" isn't a half a page text but rather only two lines with an accompanying dictionary that tells you everything. And it also teaches me to write the letters.)
So I think I'll try to get a that one printed and bind somehow. (Though I think my mother will tell me to "fuck off" once she hears it's 250 pages.)

I'm in the middle of formulating a "5-year plan" for myself. Basically, what do I want from my 20s and the next decade?
At first sight, not much. (Basically just "Get into university, study Chinese, study Greek, get published)

I felt a strong urge to write a wish fullfillment story using some conventions of the isekai genre. Though if I were to act upon this urge, I'd write this in English and hid it under piles of books.

Winter break is almost upon us. I'm finally going to sit down and read the Iliad. But in the Hungarian style rhyming translation, because I'm a bloody barbarian hipster.
>>
No. 35566
>>35530
One of the creche workers who looks after, well, all of my kids over the years has tourettes, she mostly just has random spasms and shakes and makes whacky jerky movements. I don't even notice it anymore when I'm talking to her.

She never has any verbal outbursts though, but I did know a dude who did years back, he was a regular in the shopping centre I worked security at, he'd be walking down the promenade just blurting out nonsensical shit, was hilarious.
>>
No. 35570
65 kB, 703 × 937
Today I felt the most pathetic in a while, due to not being able to talk to the cute coworker girl I'm admittedly feeling genuinely in love with. I got off work early and despite I could've waited a few minutes for her to finish as well and strike up a conversation, I left post-haste for no reason at all.
Instant karma struck me as despite storming off I was unable to catch my train, so as I had quite a bit of time at my hands until the next one'd come (and it's saturday evening for chrissake) I decided to get drunk and wander around the city for a while. It's been a long time since I did something like this and my bad conscience subsided quickly giving place to an almost inappropriately exalted feeling. In part this was due to me still being young and good looking enough so I can get drunk in public and people passing by will tend to think "Oh, he's some rebellious young man" instead of "What a creep, hope he doesn't puke on me". Plus I also generally felt very clear-headed and was able to just focus on looking at the people I was passing by, I'd almost forgotten how different this feels from just rushing from one place to another without really paying attention to anyone.
Anyways, I'm back home, nothing really exciting happened and please forgive my bad drunken englando.
>>
No. 35571
Is there some kind of obscure relationship between Germans and Indians of which I'm unaware?
https://youtu.be/ux8GZAtCN-M?t=931
They guy's telling this story like they're ascribing some kind of weird almost supernatural dark power to the wrath of German people in India.
>>
No. 35581
>>35571
I don't know, there are very few people from India in Germany.
I know some people from Sri Lanka, but except for the staff of an Indian restaurant i never actually talked to a real Indian in Germany.
But i must say, i have the strange feeling his story isn't 100% accurate.
>>
No. 35583
>>35571
>>35571
India and Germany share quite some history because they both didn't take kindly british colonialization.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hindu%E2%80%93German_Conspiracy

India was in fact the first country to end the war with Germany after WWII without demanding a single cent for reparation, while supporting German reunification.

All in all it's a the-enemy-of-my-enemy-story.

But for culture, I don't know. I'm friend with an indian and also know his few indian friends (all of them "real" Indians, because they're just here to do their PhD before they will likely to go back) and we never figured that there was anything special, except for the fact that they may be the most eastern country that had really strong connection with Germany in WWI allready.
>>
No. 35588
Our new dictator is enacting a lot of populist reforms, one of particular interest being increasing wages for teachers. For the first time in ever, mom now has disposable income after bills and living expenses.
So she told me that I should seriously consider going back to uni and get a teacher's diploma in math and physics (most respectable subjects here), and since I already know English, some schools even pay extra to people who can teach hard subjects in English.
I'm thinking about it. At the very least, a teacher's diploma is a guarantee of employment til old age.
>>
No. 35591
>>35588
Do you have any other degree? Especially if not, I would suggest to listen to your mom.
It's likely to be a naive thought that it will stay like this til your old age, but having any MINT degree whatsoever is very helpful.
>>
No. 35602
>>35591
It's not a guarantee of good pay, but it is a guarantee of employment.
Short of total collapse, government institutions will stay open regardless of economic conditions, especially schools.
I've always been interested in pursuing math at least past HS/Uni level, for reasons of personal enlightenment, so this might be a good excuse to do so. But I suspect the job involves a lot more teaching and pedagogy than math. Also, I hate children :-DDDDD.
>>
No. 35608
>>35602
Become an art teacher and take them on field trips to harvest a metric ton of roadside dope as a 'creative aid' for your lesson on surrealist art.
t. pro educator
>>
No. 35609
>>35591
>MINT

That's STEM in english.
>>
No. 35611
Today started extremely well. I bummed around a couple of hours in the house and laid in bed, and then I had breakfast at around 12:30. Then still in my pyjamas I made an espresso in a shotglass because I couldn't find any of the coffee cups.
I hit levels of not giving a fuck that shouldn't even be possible.

Tomorrow or the day after tomorrow I'm holding a short 15-20 minute presentation on a short story, so I'm preparing for that. (It's a short story I intend to translate soon, so it's all coming together.)

>>35602
>>35588
Wish our great leader would actually put money into education instead of trying to cripple it constantly on every level.

I'd say go for it. Education is important, and it gives your life a structure.
Not to mention, teaching isn't THAT hard from my experience. (Based on the 5-6 45 minute lectures I held for different subject like Music, History and Literature. Preparing takes a lot of time, but after the first year, you can just re-use your notes almost indefinitely.)

>But I suspect the job involves a lot more teaching and pedagogy than math.
You don't really have to interact with the students outside class (except maybe the few oddballs who are interested in your subjects.), and the hardest thing should be correcting the tests, but if you become a physics-mathematics teacher, then you can just give them a short test (here they give you 3-5 questions) and then just correct those in a mechanical manner every month. (The answers are only the same, and only a few gifted students will use methods you haven't yet taught them.)

Bonus is that unlike teachers who teach the humanities, you don't have to correct 2-3-4-5 page long inane essays every month from 3-4 different classes.
Also, you'll have autumn, winter, spring and summer breaks, when you can do whatever the fuck you like.
Basically, you can still "research" whatever you want between teaching classes, and I'm pretty sure that university will introduce you to plenty of sources you can use.

>Also, I hate children :-DDDDD.
Then become a HS teacher. HS kids are dumb, but in an almost-adult way.
Unless you become a homeroom teacher (for lack of a better term), you don't have to do anything besides lecturing the brats.

TL;DR FUCKING GO FOR IT
t.Emergency plan is becoming a teacher

>>35571
>Is there some kind of obscure relationship between Germans and Indians of which I'm unaware?
They share the common bond of being Aryans :^)
>>
No. 35613
40 kB, 400 × 388
I only watered my aloe vera once and it's already dying what the fuck! The leaves are softer than they should be and some of them have taken on a greyish hue! I only gave it ~3oz of water! God fucking dammit!
>>
No. 35617
>>35608
I'm not good enough to teach art, unfortunately.
A couple days ago I discovered just how shit I am outside of my comfort zone. Well it makes sense since I just painted/drew without going through a rigorous study of fundamentals. It was a bit of a hit to the ego, but I've come to terms with having to start certain things from beginner level again.
I'm ok at observational painting, color and composition, but absolute shite at drawing and certain parts of human anatomy. It's really frustrating when I'm making a terrible drawing, and have to resist the urge to go back to my usual style.
Also, honestly I'm starting to develop a distaste for digital drawing/painting. I really want to go back to oil paints, but shit's pricey, yo.

Also, that ditch weed wasn't very good and tasted like car exhaust :-DDDD.

>>35611
Yeah, being a teacher is a cushy job, all things considered. Now I'd have to prepare for the entrance exams (it's either scholarship/grant for me, or nothing), which, aside from math/physics, include history and linguistics. I'm pretty confident with math (even if I forgot everything, I actually find solving math problems fun, so practicing won't be a problem), okay with linguistics, but absolutely terrible with history, mainly because of shit memory.
>>
No. 35622
492 kB, 1000 × 600
>>35613
Did you overwater it? It's very easy to kill lots of plants doing that. Was this actually filtered water, or just tap water? Because a lot of American tap water straight from the top kills plants and fish.
>>
No. 35623
>>35622
Yeah I think I probably overwatered it. Apparently you're not supposed to water them much if at all during the winter. It was distilled water.
>>
No. 35624
>>35617
Well, prepare then.
Remember what Euclid said. "There is no royal road to geometry". That goes for everything.
Everyone studies. You, me, everyone.
Go get that bread!

>mainly because of shit memory.
So you still teach history the Prussian way? (As in, rote learning a bunch of dates and then asking the student to vomit it onto a paper.)
That fucking sucks. Still, nothing is impossible.
>>
No. 35625
54 kB, 587 × 442
108 kB, 735 × 490
370 kB, 1200 × 422
54 kB, 604 × 415
>>35622
*tap water not top

>>35623
Yeah I mean it's just an Aloe. Those things are succulents. They are by design not supposed to be in super moist environments. I also was wrong for some reason I was thinking it was a closer relative of Agave and came from around the south of Mexico but apparently Aloe Vera comes from the Arabian peninsula, so, that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about watering it.

I guess it's actually to be expected for someone not knowing what they're doing. I've made numerous catastrophic mistakes in the past with taking care of fish and not knowing what I'm doing, including perhaps most egregiously keeping them in smaller containers and trying to use those store bought water filters to clean the tank not realizing the nitrogen cycle and so frequently poisoning the poor little guys. This is one of the few things in my life I feel truly and sincerely bad about.

Of course avoiding American tap water is one major thing I can easily do because I only use fish water. If you ever wish to get into fish keeping which is a super expensive hobby one thing to keep in mind is that old fish tank water is basically liquid fertilizer, so when I'm cleaning my tanks I can take a few cups of water for all my non-aquatic plants and the stuff works wonders. Onto that

>>35532
So this is actually starting to become a truly expensive proposition, made even worse by me not having as great an income stream as the summer which has only been magnified by a lot of other expenses all being concentrated in this super small window of time. What was originally meant to be a modest proposal has quickly mushroomed into the exact kind of exorbitant cost I was wishing to avoid.

For starters, I'm already paying way more than what I'd originally planned on as a $70 cap for the fish tanks alone. Secondly this is going to completely cost me out the ass just trying to move the dang things because I simply cannot fit these things all into a car and it's far enough away that what I think I'm going to have to do is hire someone to help me move it, and by "hire" I mean find some random person to give gas money so they can drive me out there and I can load them into their truck or SUV or whatever and drive back. I'm going to have to try and emphasize that I don't think I need any help moving them although frankly I probably should count on that as we're talking over 50 pounds of delicate fragile shit that measures something like four feet by one and a half feet or something to that effect (122x53cm for you non-imperials and something like 22 kilos empty). This means that just the one biggest tank would take up the entire backseat of a car.

I have also discovered that while they're supposedly undamaged otherwise the big 55g doesn't have its plastic molding which adds another logistical challenge to moving the thing around without damaging it.

So, now I have the additional cost to whatever repairs if I can even do it on my own with the plastic frame, ensuring nothing springs a leak, cleaning them etc. The costs of moving alone I don't want to go any more than $50 so already I'm at least double what I initially was planning on spending, but hey, this is quite the deal I can't pass up on. Well, at least it is a great deal on paper, provided there's nothing super wrong with them I won't know about until seeing them.

It also should be noted that I'm talking about close to 200 liters of water in this thing which means with added decorations, gravel/sand and so on--also an additional huge cost--I'm going to need something to put it on that can hold over 500 pounds of weight, or one standard American unit. I'm unironically doing these calculations figuring everything should be fine if one morbidly obese American can sit on it or stand on that area of the new flat all day.

At this point I just need to find a way to get them first to my old place and later on pack it all up to wherever I go next. The furniture is going to be another huge logistical challenge, as well as added costs of me having to set up decorate these things later on but I think I'm pretty much happy with all that. It still only adds to my great fears of being evicted or having a fire though as I'm sinking increasingly enormous costs of time, effort, and money into this whole endeavor.

Here have some examples of what really great aquascaping looks likethat is fully beyond my abilities to even consider doing right now
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No. 35626
24 kB, 236 × 314
360 kB, 1100 × 446
783 kB, 1280 × 720
24 kB, 236 × 314
>>35624
Yes we sadly have been cursed to have such stupid shit here as well. There's little more anti-intellectual than that bullshit garbage Prussian crap inflicted on all of us. I swear it has almost singlehandedly resulted in the "dumb American" stereotype because people don't learn anything other than being servile to authority figures.
>>
No. 35627 Kontra
487 kB, 1200 × 718
141 kB, 1091 × 457
298 kB, 1277 × 551
103 kB, 468 × 357
>>35626
oops I didn't mean to use the same picture twice. Well whatever kontra
>>
No. 35628
>>35626
Roughly 5-6 years ago history education in Hungary was reformed to be "Source-centric".
Basically you get 2-3 sources and you have to draw conclusions based on those sources (could be a contemporary account from a chronicle, a diary entry, or from a later monograph on the subject).
Of course they still expect you to know certain dates and background information, but our history education is not nearly as focused on rote learning as it was before.
(Basically the goal is for the student to be able to think critically)

What I gather from the account of Americans and stereotypes is that the US educations system's history curriculum lacks any sort of coherence and just starts history off in medias res in 1492 instead of covering the development of political systems from the Sumerians until the "end of history" in 1990.
How the fuck can you expect a kid to understand history without the Greeks and the Romans?

Then as I heard (I say "heard" because I'm now probably entering "let me tell you about your country" mode) you spend a lot of time on things like slavery and the holocaust. Tragedies that are ultimately just historical background noise and don't tell you much about history itself.

How can you fucking fill 4 years of HS education with just US history?
>>
No. 35630
>>35624
I was that way years ago when I finished HS. I've heard they changed something about the exams, so maybe it's less of a memorization test now. I'll have to find an up to date test book.

Going to school again sounds genuinely fun. Shame about that unfinished art degree, but let's be honest, now that my teacher and mentor is retired for years now, other than making connection in the tiny local art community, there's absolutely no benefit to finishing it. Aside from cheap studio and model time, of course, but honestly it's not worth it. They only hire fat old people to model for some reason. I blame my poor anatomy knowledge on those chubby bastards who posed for us in live drawing class :-DDDD
>>
No. 35631
>>35628
>you spend a lot of time on things like slavery and the holocaust
Don't listen to poltards. Almost none of those sorts of idiots are reliable sources of information on just about anything.

We spend some amount of time on slavery and the Holocaust is like maybe a week or two tops, which is only even really taught for more than just part of a day's lesson because it's one of the only things you can actually teach about the US that makes us unequivocally into the good guys, or at least the way they teach it which completely ignores the fact we did things like sent boat loads of Jewish refugees back to Europe to die in the death camps or knew exactly where the rail lines were to these camps and didn't do a damn thing about it. Basically it's just taught as the usual kind of jingoistic Russian nationalist tier bullshit about how we just wanted to be left alone in peace then those shifty Japs attacked us and we marched into Europe almost single handedly saving the day and freeing the Jews like a fat Moses. That is what is taught.

We spend inordinate amounts of time on the Civil War depending where you are (each state has it's own curriculum and textbooks so this varies including what is taught) so how it is taught also varies, with the North having a WWII era load of lies about how we fought the way to free the day and save all these innocent black people from the treacherous south, and the South teaching it as the North being a bunch of aggressors tryin keep Southie down. We probably spend more time talking about the Civil War than anything else and yes it is generally two years spent on US history, with two of them in middle school and the other two in high school. We get two years of world history which glosses over a couple things like the French revolution and Napoleanic era, a few things about medieval period, some basic mention of the Egyptians for like a week and Romans for maybe another couple of weeks and Greece for another week.

I have no idea what kind of moronic bullshit this even is from what kind of retard is on the internet crying all day about how he was forced! to spend a total of like two or three weeks learning how bad things happened to Jews and black people and comes on here lying to foreigners about how he's so mad he has to do his homework for a week, completely missing the fact that both things are only covered as part of the total propaganda package which itself is wildly pro-nationalist, pro-corporation and free markets, militarist, and theoretically pro-freedoms and democracy (hence spending so much time talking about France and Napoleon) while utterly ignoring the fact we really don't have anything resembling a true democracy or FreedomsTM. You will also notice how Greece and Rome get mentioned which only happens because you guessed it, they had systems vaguely resembling ours at one point.

Americam students are not taught to critically think, in fact we are specifically taught to do the exact opposite. The only people talk things like rhetoric, logic, critical thinking, scholarly research and so on is the rich kids and elites who get sent to expensive prep schools. Everybody in public schools is taught to be reflexively obedient, childish, impulsive, nationalistic and consumerist. They are socialized to create tribes within themselves defined mostly by things like brands. This is partly why for example Democrat voters almost universally use Apple crap. Their very core identity is formulated at a young age to be reflective of corporate values and brand adherence. They are not supposed to think critically because this undermines their ability to see through the shit shoveled at them by politicians, marketing departments, the military, and talking media heads. All the insane bullshit like anti-vaxxers is an unintended side effect of making a nation of people this way.

They will at best develop an eerie sense of being lied to but because theyve never been taught to think critically or to analyze information or use logic, the most any of them can hope to do is latch onto an equally if not more ridiculous premise and pack of lies and propaganda so long as it promises them to be "against the establishment" no matter how openly part of the establishment Thing is and always had been. It is a nation of mentally blinded people.

It's the kind of nation of people who unironically adopt an identity built purely on brand loyalty, who will use "gamer" as their self identity, go out and spend their money on loot boxes in Call of Duty, listen to the messages massive corporations like EA and Activision feed them all day, genuinely think thr Russians bombed the highway of death, and then see a US Army recruiter in Gamestop and enlist in the military, get sent to some third world country and get their legs blown off so some oligarch can make more money, and then come back and vote for the exact type of idiot who wants to cut their medical assistance and start another war like the one that just took their legs. I'm sorry but that's just the truth. Critical thinking is heavily discouraged at all areas of public schooling.
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No. 35632
>>35628
History on the academic level will be often about theories and methodologies of history and practices of historicizing. Meta level stuff that ofc gets applied in the end.
I had the Greeks and Romans in school and also for one semester in university. Why exactly are they so important? You have some ancient historians like Thucydides and surely you can learn about history from them. Or is it because the Ancients are the "bedrock" of our western civilization?
The last two years in HS I had only German history.
An interesting thing is that history and narration go hand in hand, that is accepted these days in academia. The German Geschichte or the Italian storia give a sense of history as narration. Even these days a historian should be aware that he is basically still narrating a past that will forever be a foreign place so to speak.

Anyway Brick will be able to manage history easily, the themes are the same over a certain period of time and when you can explain a bigger nexus of something or coherences you can explain history as well. You just need to get used to it. Dates are not unimportant but they lost in importance over the years, history of events is just one possible way to do history.
>>
No. 35634
>>35628
Honestly, you could comfortably cover the Civil War alone for 4 years of American history if you wanted to. It's exceptionally well documented and has lots of bunny holes to go down.

I also don't necessarily think that Greek and Roman history is mandatory for understanding history as a whole. When I was at uni, they were even separated as Ancient History and History. You acknowledged the legacy of them if it was relevant, but if you're looking at late modern history (which if I was creating a curriculum, you would be since it's the most immediately useful to the layman who isn't pursuing the subject at a higher level), their story is just not relevant.
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No. 35635
7,2 MB, 640 × 360, 1:30
>>35617
Also, I can help you out with history if you ever need it. I was dumb enough to study it formally (double major in the two main fields). I don't even put it on my resume anymore because a degree is more harm than good for someone like me :-DDD
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No. 35642
>>35632
>>35634
Breadth of study is inherently important in history. The practical uses of history are understanding the background of current events, and learning from enough case studies to develop good general intuitions for how humans and societies behave. Because so much of the modern West was built self-consciously on the model of the Classical West, it remains of importance to understanding the modern West, even if the influence of the Greeks and Romans is often overstated.

And it's important for building general intuitions, because our sample size for republican governments - especially non-Christian republican governments - is very small, and many important episodes in Classical Western history have excellent documentation.

My ideal course of historical study for Western students would be:
2 parts East Asian history
1 part Islamic history
1 part Indian history (we've now covered all great Eurasian civilizations besides the West)
1 part Classical Western history
1 part history and intellectual study of Christianity
2 parts on Medieval history through to the Enlightenment (fall of Western Rome to 1776)
1 part on the long 19th century West
1 part on the 20th century West

With 25-50% of each module being specifically focused on your native country, depending on how important it was in that period. Of course, it receives no attention if it didn't exist in that period.

For Americans in particular, I would take 50% of the Medieval module and reassign it to the 19th and 20th century modules. There's a huge density of history there, and it's especially relevant to us because it's the only national history we have.

>What I gather from the account of Americans and stereotypes is that the US educations system's history curriculum lacks any sort of coherence and just starts history off in medias res in 1492 instead of covering the development of political systems from the Sumerians until the "end of history" in 1990.
This was exactly my high school world history class, although we covered the whole world in elementary school (granted, it was a special elementary school for overachieving nerds). In the US, there are special tracks that you can get into to receive something like a passable education, but no care or effort at all is given to the average student. It's a perfect system if you're an Asian immigrant kid whose parents have raised you to be able to deal with the hells of Chinese or Korean public school, because you can learn things without getting pushed to the brink of suicide in order to succeed. But if you're native and smart, you do well so early that nothing incentivizes you to develop a work ethic. And if you're native and dumb, you're fucked.

>>35631
>We probably spend more time talking about the Civil War than anything else
it's' dont's in California
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No. 35643
>>35635
Did you get that webm from KC?
I think I may have re-encoded that.
>>
No. 35645
Depth is far more important than breadth. Better to understand something than to know trivia about lots of things. Very few high level histories consider breadth to be of great importance, with hyperfocused microhistories being something of a trend these days.

For example, my specialty was the development of the muzzleloading infantry rifle. I know virtually nothing about the rest of firearms history beyond trivia because it isnt really relevant to my work. Now expand that to world history and see how broad study results in a poor understanding of the subject at hand.

>>35643
Nah, I webmforbakasd it myself.
>>
No. 35648
Turns out it was 41 celsius today. Feels bad man.
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No. 35656
It's interesting how a single flash of rage can ruin your entire day.
I slept well and woke up ok, but as I was focusing on reading something, my little brother started playing horrible cat sounds on his phone as a joke, and the noises really, really annoyed me. I didn't do anything, but later in the day father was up to his drunken antics again, so I exploded in rage and roughed him up.
Ever since then I'm having a bad headache and I can't focus on anything.
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No. 35658
Yesterday instead of studying and sleeping, I helped my sister study maths and literature. (By the end I told her that tomorrow morning it should be her first task to tell her teachers that I called them idiots, and that I'm going to beat them up, if I ever see them, for being retarded)
I slept for four hours because of that. Basically I just crammed before classes and operated on a double espresso I had in the morning, and a flask of green tea.
Which all in all wasn't that much of a hindrance because I managed to snag the best possible marks both in History and Literature class.
Also got two tests handed back to me. Both were "the best" out of all the test.
So in essence, I'm feeling like a demigod today.

And hey, I didn't die from the caffeine.

I have two songs from the British opera "HMS Pinafore" stuck in my head. One is "We sail the ocean blue", and the other is "He is an Englishman".
It's tormenting me. So much so, that I translated two verses into a singable Hungarian version because I couldn't fall asleep from it.

I attended media class today. I was late 15-20 minutes and they were watching a stop motion animation. Then the teacher asked us if we like Japanese animation. This always turns on my "flight or fight" response for some reason. The most horrible 5 minutes of the day.
Turns out I'm not expected to write an essay for an easy mark. (You need at least one mark in classes like these to get graded. That's one each semester/half year.)
I was explicitly told that she isn't interested in my 10-12 page long monstrosities on culture.

Currently looking through the newly released exam list. I didn't knew you could pick "Military Basics" as a possible abitur-exam. It's probably reserved for schools where they explicitly prepare you to join either the police force or to continue your studies at the National University of Public Service.
Apparently it's also possible to take both Japanese and Chinese exams, which means that a few schools actually teach these languages.

>>35656
I know that feeling. I wake up on the weekend, smiling, but if a single thing angers me and I clench my teeth, then I'm going to be mad for the rest of the day.
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No. 35668
221 kB, 1024 × 680
>>35645
>>35642

As undergraduate historian I can only agree with Australia.
Great synthesis might have their place, but they will have to leave out an infinity of micro histories that can, from their molecular level, explain societal or whatever phenomena better than some macro structural approach that is blind for such smaller scoped (inter)actions. I recently read Germans on Drugs by Robert Stephens. It is a local study of Hamburg and the evolving trends of drug consumption with the youths in the late 60s and early-mid 70s. It combines a micro history of drug consumption in Hamburg events, places, actors/agents and their perceptions as well as actions and/or practices with macro elements. Which means you get global history (internationalization´of the youth -> traveling as far as Nepal or Afghanistan), emerging world trade beneficial for drug trafficking. He also makes other arguments about consumer societies and their consumer imperative that is declined by the youth who escapes this imperative by voluntarily consumption of drugs and dropping out.

Here it becomes evident I think, that the Greek and Romans won't help in understanding modern postwar society. In fact your claim implies that societies behave in certain ways over centuries. While indeed patterns of behavior, signs/symbols and whatnot reoccur in human history. The topic of rich and poor was relevant in ancient times and it is still today. There is continuity and there is rupture. It's about nuances and obvious divergence. We still might be very shaped by the christian religion as system, yet our society is not dominated or structured by it in the same way as the Holy German Empire some 700-500 years ago.
Tho I get more and more interested in histories that have long range, you cannot just easily generalize the importance of ancient of middle ages for the present like that.

Surely, history can help in understanding how society works, but lets be a bit more precise: work**ed**
You cannot easily deduce or draw parallels from the present to the past. I see history more like a sense generator. hisSTORY. It's really oftentimes rewriting and completion. That does not mean it is arbitrary btw. I think it's often quite disappointing for outsiders of academic history to see that in academia the topics are handled far away from what is usually connected to it.
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No. 35669
>>35668
For me, the best way to understand history is to translate it. It comes from. Herodotus who wrote a book translated as 'Histories' but meaning 'Inquiries'. History then, is the field of looking at events and asking questions about them. This seems obvious but think further and you see that continuity doesnt necessarily fit in. If I want to ask a question about the development of machine manufacturing at Harpers Ferry Armory, then the timeline of developing the firearms industry from China to early western practice until then does not answer my question since they are not what was done at Harpers Ferry. Some expansion might be useful for answering the question, like exhangeable parts with Springfield Armory, or the use of the machines in the South's weapon design during the war, but going on too many diversions just leaves my history (inquiry) unfinished/unanswered.

I recommend Ralph Taylor's Summer to you if you enjoy urban microhistory. Its a really enjoyable book about a scrivener during the plague, who was writing wills for the dying.
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No. 35670
63 kB, 676 × 581
>>35669
>that continuity doesnt necessarily fit in

I said it's about continuity and raptures alike. But forgive me I thought rapture means disjuncture...

A Historians task would be to find arguments for disjuncture and continuity concerning the specific object of research. And both continuity and disjuncture can occur within a variable time frame. If you look at several historic processes/objects of question you could even find out that - at the same time - different objects show continuity or disjuncture. A good example would be 3rd Reich continuities of postwar Germany which exist in parallel to disjunctures with the 3rd Reich, depending on what historic agents, places and phenomenon you look at.
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No. 35671
>>35670
Yeah, but what I meant was that tying the past together as a story is not necessarily the end goal of history work. Questions of continuity can certainly arise and be answered, but they are coming from the point of a proposed question rather than as a fundamental necessity that underpins the field. Your example can be explained as noting the connections where they appear, but you also probably wouldnt explore the origins and underpinnings of the Nazi ideas, leaving that for another work, instead focusing on what is relevant directly to the work at hand.

That isnt to say that history can inore reality, mind you. Things do need to fit into the known narrative, but the origin of history is the question and not the narrative, performed by the annalist, and later the Annales.
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No. 35673
>>35671
Though I think we are on the same page, with my ability to talk shop having atrophied over the past few years.
>>
No. 35675
>>35669
> if you enjoy urban microhistory. Its a really enjoyable book about a scrivener during the plague, who was writing wills for the dying.

I'm currently looking into the postwar history of drug consumption in Germany. I want my thesis to revolve around this topic after I ruled out youth crimes which borders drug consumption tho.
I'm interested in drugs as menace to society, different agents perceptions, discourse history. The other strand to follow would be societal self descriptions that are connected with drug consumption, how did contemporaries made sense of the upcoming drug wave, in what way did they perceived it as a societal problem. I know there is a discourse around the individual and bio-psychological stuff. But that is not off interest to me. I want to know if social science and other print media or whatever can be used as source had to say about drugs and society.

So far I don't have an argument and only cursory historic knowledge about my topics and both strands. My claim for significance is that few people looked into that so far. I could connect a rather fringe historic topic drug consumption in West Germany, there exist the typical common places tho, Gammler and 1968, hippies and LSD, also Christane F. But also some work with substance but so far it's more or less a handful with a newer approach history of security and public order[spoiler] or a another already well researched area [spoiler]publications of the social sciences as self descriptions of society, people presenting themselves as experts with often times normative claims and connection to politics and public, gathering their attention
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No. 35677
>>35671
Yes, the continuity needs to be there, but it's not a given. And ofc you don't always go from the ancients to the object of examination. I would leave the 3rd Reich to other scholars indeed. We are speaking of histories to be written and histories that have been written, there can be rewritings, mostly minor, some are bigger. Many are also just an addition, another piece of a puzzle that probably never ends as historians cannot escape their own present time.

>but the origin of history is the question and not the narrative

It's probably both. I cannot see how one can separate the narrative techniques and narrative form from historicizing.
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No. 35693
Today was okay. I wrote a short story in the morning before class. (I had time, because two of my classes were cancelled in the morning, and I woke up too early.)

I finally solved my "hat problem". That is, I didn't have a hat for winter for the past 2-3 years because I'd just let my hair grow out.
But I got one this year because it looked cool. So I wear an ushanka now.

Finished reading Capitalist Realism this morning, and it made me feel incredibly depressed. Now, I'm reading a Hungarian novella from the 70s.
Turns out that writing about drunken proles' shitty existence has already been done before. Kind of feels like that my short stories are now pointless.
>>
No. 35696 Kontra
>>35693
Write artistically about capitalist realism.

I always wanted to write an imageboard dweller story. Don't you think it's a character of the 21st century that delivers enough material for a novel that touches upon a variety of themes and provides its on aesthetic twist?

t. also thinks about how it would be to write a sick-spiraling theory fiction that contains abstract madness and global fairy tales, streams of commodities turn into an aesthetic affect. there is no character but the thoughts itself. Theory that becomes the main actor, theory that lives and pulsates because it is directly connected to what we call real life and the human condition, but the human condition comes second, at least that seems important to me. The human is not placed aside but second in this literary piece. A narration that is a theory as well but without... Perhaps what I want is an ecology, an ecology where the human is just one element among many, perhaps even without hierarchical order, it's a network as well. This ecology wrapped as a piece of art (a text) that is based heavily on theory and is yet not classified alone as that. Because theory in that sense is on par with fiction in that piece and therefore aesthetics. It's a bastard, a new genre and I really would like to explore that, but my ideas are too vague and pretty much lousy. There is a neat touch to it, but nothing more than a wimpy glimmer.
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No. 35707
2,7 MB, 4032 × 3024
Yesterday I also went to Tesco, and saw this fucking garbage. It’s like we just brought home some leftover poison from America’s bathroom cabinet.
I was genuinely fucking angry when I saw it.

Supermarket book sections are always horrid. I remember seeing bootleg Minecraft novels two-three years ago, and I though, man, translating bootleg minecraft novels into Hungarian for minimum wage must be the lowest form of existence.”
It’s like a glimpse into the reality of translation. You aren’t working on giving the people that one Nobel-winning novel, you’re too busy shoveling garbage into their mouths to do that.

>>35696
>there is no character but the thoughts itself.
Basically I only use a few “stock” characters from contemporary life and I explore their interactions in public space. Naming anyone in the story is unnecessary. (Not that I would be able to name any of them properly)
So far my themes included alcoholism and the “unwanted but indifferent” death of nationalism.
I get what you mean.
It’s achievable.

>Writing about imageboarders
My problem with that is that I don’t think that I have that much in common with your average imageboarder that I’d be able to explore their psyche properly.
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No. 35709
I was exhausted today and took a nap, only to wake up thoroughly irritated. Not sure why either. I think I'm getting stressed out about things but not sure why I'm so irritable today.
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No. 35710
>>35707
Oh God why is that even still being published. It is the most absolutely moronic trash I've encountered. My apologies for its existence.
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No. 35718 Kontra
>>35710
You don’t have to feel sorry for it. The person who has to apologise and whip himself pn the town square for it is the one who financed it’s publication in an attempt to gather profit.
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No. 35719
>>35668
You need both macro and micro studies, focusing more on micro as we approach the modern day. To ignore macro history is as dumb as only teaching hyper-focused vignettes like German drug culture in the 1960s.

>I think it's often quite disappointing for outsiders of academic history to see that in academia the topics are handled far away from what is usually connected to it.
And I think academic history is quite disappointing as a field. Almost every single historian I talk to is only focused on describing historical vignettes in excruciating detail, and recoils like a vampire in sunlight towards any attempt to treat history like a science and look for meaningful patterns and explanatory theories. To them, there can be no meaningful answers, or even questions, just endless production of marginally useful knowledge that will never be noticed by anyone except other experts in the field of performative gender in late-medieval West Slavic countries.

And every single one is stuck up their ass about how wise they are compared to those poor uninitiated plebeians. It's like a cult, where every initiate learns the sacred words and doctrines, and is led to believe that this is the gnosis of ascension.

God, I hate academia. Any group of front-of-the-class-ers who gather together in large enough numbers to form a subculture is inevitably going to turn to shit. The number of people who can produce probing and insightful works is vastly smaller than the number of people who think they can produce probing and insightful work. If you really want to contribute to human knowledge outside of STEM these days, you need to find a way to do it outside of the academy.
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No. 35720
>>35719
>treat history like a science and look for meaningful patterns and explanatory theories.
Firstly, treating history as science has been tried and rightfully cast aside over the past ~70 years. History uses the empirical method but acknowledges that it isn't a science with impartial, measurable sources of information. We can get close in some cases (rarely), but there is always questions surrounding how accurate something is, even something that should be fairly reliable.

If we treated history as a science, we wouldn't have any recorded history of the Ancient World, or much of human history at all really because our sources are fucking garbage. We get second or third hand accounts most of the time and the 'first hand' accounts are more often than not straight off the propaganda press if not for the powers that be, then for the author themselves. Instead of denying it, historians instead work with the flawed data in a way that a purely scientific approach cannot, and you end up with a lot of work based on historical perceptions rather than historical 'facts' that are completely unknowable in a meaningful way. How about Alexander the Great? Well known 'obvious' history right? Wrong. Most of what we consider true today is educated extrapolation from really bad sources.

Meaningful patterns are sought out, but they aren't slavishly adhered to and applied to everything, like the classic 'fall' of the Roman Empire narrative being questioned nowadays as being more of a smooth transition towards smaller realms than the traditional narrative (which loves the pattern of 'moral decay') implies, or the fact that Dark Ages is falling out of use as a term in the professional level. Explanatory theories are also essentially the foundation of most arguments within the field, and historiography as a subfield exists to look at these theories exclusively, so I don't know where you get that from. Some have fallen out of favour, some to the point of being thoroughly discredited even, so it's not some feel good everybody's right scenario neither. It's just that Theory is different from a lower case theory.

Also on the subject of patterns on a massive timeframe, they're often just trite and don't really explain anything beyond the superficial. Okay, so from 1980-today there has been a pattern of de-escalation of the Cold War, to it ending and then a re-escalation of Cold War rivalries in the late 2010s especially. There's a pattern, great. What does it mean? Jack fucking shit. You need to dig into the actual meat of the history and examine the events if you want to gain some kind of understanding. And when you don't have perfect information (historians never do, no matter how 'impartial' a source is), then the importance of tiny shreds of information can be enormous. This also works on the smaller scale, explaining why things happen instead of just saying that they happened.

You talk mockingly about information that's so niche as to be effectively useless without realising that in fact that incredibly focused information is oftentimes far more important than the grand narrative because it provides in idea of what was making things happen on the ground with those individuals as drivers of history in that location, instead of looking at people as victims of history and thinking that only events that fall into a zoomed-out metanarrative are meaningful.
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No. 35721
>>35707
Hey, look at it another way. Your country is educated enough to produce a large enough body of translators for meaningless gruntwork like this, and to produce enough readers of physical books to make it worthwhile.

90% of culture is always shit. But the presence of that 90% means that there's a small but sizable body of culture in the same medium that isn't shit. The fact that you see so much translated trash at the supermarket is related to the fact that you have so many translations of excellent world literature into your language, despite it being spoken by only 13 million people in a backwards corner of a dying continent. The aristoi and the demos eat fruits of the same earth.

Do you think it's normal to have a verse translation of the Iliad in your language? There's languages with tens of millions of speakers and millennia-old literary histories that aren't so lucky.
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No. 35730
>>35720
Thoroughly answered. What historians did was reflecting on their theories of explanation and their methodologies on how we are able to approach the past.

> To ignore macro history

I never said that you should ignore macro history, but it is known and proven by micro historic examination that these tend the leave out a lot. That is what I meant with addition and probable rewriting.

>expertism and niche

Welcome to academia. It's the same for every area. Biologists and physicists hyperspecialize as well in their career.
A performative gender historian of little pacific islands will still be able to say something about the greater macro histories and usually a historian has more than one focus. Otherwise they wouldn't be able to teach a certain range of history to students.

I've lately watched a seminar on philosophy and Kants critique of pure reason is set as a start for the radicalization of critique in general by people like Heidegger, Focault and Derrida. What these people basically did was not only buy into Kants epistemological turn (What we can know and how we can know is limited by the human subject) but extend that limit into the historic realm. Different times, different knowledge (of the past).

Positivism is not possible, the past is gone, forever. And what else is a source than a medium? And as Australia pointed out, oftentimes a medium based on other mediation already. What historians do is making sense of these pieces and they try to be critical about it. They give explanations and they find patterns, but the range is different, yes, the absolute has been ruled out.
What you are looking for is 19th century style history with Hegel as background, in these days (I can speak for Germany only) History was seen as a big science, it was the century history was born as a "science".
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No. 35731 Kontra
>>35730
forgot marking >>35719
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No. 35733
>>35730
>(I can speak for Germany only) History was seen as a big science
It's similar in Commonwealth historiography, though we also tend to back a bit from the generally accepted birth of modern historiography in late 19th c. Germany with von Ranke and talk up the influence of Gibbon a lot too.
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No. 35734 Kontra
>>35733
Meant mid-late 19th but you know what I mean.
>>
No. 35748
Today was the last day of school. Tomorrow we'll have the secret santa ordeal, and then it's off to winter break.
I wonder what I'll get. Last year it was really good. But I don't have high hopes.

Wrote a grammar test today. We were asked to define the word "Teleregény" (Probably more closer in meaning to the french Téléroman than the Spanish Telenovela), and I was like, m8, there is only a single "show" people call a téléroman in this country, and that's fucking "Szomszédok" ("Neighbours") from the fucking late-80s early 90s, a show most people nowadays remember for a few cringe-worthy scenes where characters discuss technology, or pronounce English words improperly.
I literally (not figuratively) only ever heard people call that show a téléroman. Everything else is called a soap.
(Of course it's also important as a media piece depicting the economical transitional period, but who cares about that)

I printed out my new year's resolution paper alongside with my small little critiques of books I've read I've written on 8chan.
Printing it at the vice principals office was a bit awkward, because the resolutions paper had the title "Five year plan", and for a second she thought I was part of some sort of political organisation/revolutionary group.
The goals are as follows:
>Successfully pass the Matura Exams
>Get accepted to an eastern-studies department at a uni
>Learn Chinese
>Learn Ancient Greek
>Get one of my writings published
These are my goals for the 2020-2025 period.
Pretty grandiose ikr.

Now that I actually have a hat, winter isn't cold. Man walks into shop, buys hat, it fits perfectly, but winter don't come

I really wish I had a cup-ramen.

>>35721
The only reason actual quality publications, texbooks and translations are made because the gubmint actually puts money into it through different foundations and tenders like the National Cultural Fund or the Mihály Babits Grant, which is specifically for upstart translators.

Without government intervention, we'd have a lot less quality publications around. Of course they don't fund everything, but it's not really a free market, and the average pressing volume per publication fell considerably once the industry became subject to the forces of the market. (Since it was no longer centralised. Selection increased considerably, but the material quality and pressing quantity fell, especially during the 90s.)

There is also the fact that nobody speaks foreign languages, or those that do, don't do so aren't proficient enough to read books above a certain level of complexity.
(There is a reason why Infinite Jest for example has been translated into global languages like Portuguese, Spanish, French, German, and Russian. And then there is the fucking Hungarian edition. Truly fits into the crowd.)

And we just simply have a strong translation industry and a flexible language that can be used to emulate a lot of things from Blank Verse to the Hexametre.
So it's a given that people want to work with it.

suffering_from_success.jpg
I'm not even a beggar and I'm complaining.
>>
No. 35759
2,8 MB, 3492 × 3022
School Christmas was phenomenal.
We exchange present with my history teacher in the morning, like we always do at this time of year. He hands me a book, and I give him a box of chocolate.
It was the same this year too. This year he even wrapped it.
These are some really nice books.
>The Complete Works of Péter Hajnóczy
>Mihály Babits - Autobiography
>Pascal - Selections from the Pensées
>Hermann Broch - The Death of Virgil

The secret Santa thing was really good. I got a calligraphy set. It'll probably take a day or two to figure out and practice how to use it. Probably the second best gift I've gotten at a school Christmas after the linguistics textbook last year.

On the way home I bought a cup of ramen, and when I got home I cleaned up a large pile of branches and leaves my mother asked me to get rid of. Didn't clean up all of it. Left the leaves there, because there was a hedgehog sleeping under it. I didn't recognise it at first glance and almost struck it with the rake I was using.

I'm going to spend the rest of the day typing in my two short stories and a poem to archive it, and also watching Mind Game. I have a bag of crisps prepared.
So today was a good day.
>>
No. 35773
>>35748
>There is a reason why Infinite Jest for example has been translated into global languages like Portuguese, Spanish, French, German, and Russian. And then there is the fucking Hungarian edition. Truly fits into the crowd.
sasuga magyarorszag. Slovaks and Romanians and Serbs and Ukrainians and etc. might have most of your historical country, but do they not have translations of over-rated American literary novelists.

I tried to remember why I recognize Wallace's name, and have a vaguely dismissive opinion of him, and remembered this:
http://exiledonline.com/david-foster-wallace-portrait-of-an-infinitely-limited-mind/
The eXile(d) produced some great takedowns of mainstream American literature. Granted, I haven't read any of the books they criticize, but I've read other examples of what passes for high culture in this country, and it's all been shallow pretentious garbage. Our demotic and fringe cultures can produce great stuff, but our high culture is uniformly worthless.

On another note, I notice there are separate translations for BRBR and European Portuguese, which seems to be a relatively common thing with books. I get this for audiovisual media, but it amazes me that there is such a huge divide between the two dialects that they need separate translations for literary novels. IIRC you see this sometimes too with Canadian and European French, and less so with Euro Spanish and real Spanish. But never, ever in English. I wonder if it's due to our relatively simplified pronouns and verb forms - it's probably more jarring to see things like that differ than to see "truck" instead of "lorry".
>>
No. 35774 Kontra
>>35773
OK, I just tried reading the free excerpt available of Infinite Jest on Amazon. Surprise, surprise, it's completely unreadable.

In cases like this I think it might actually be better in translation, as any re-writing of the prose would naturally improve it. And if the unfriendliness of the prose is supposed to be a selling point... well, congratulations on your modern art piece, Mr. Wallace. But if you don't make your book readable, nobody will be reading it in 100 years. They might remember it, like Finnegan's Wake, but nobody will actually read it. Nameless scribes who pressed the Epic of Gilgamesh into clay over 4000 years ago on the other side of the world will have a greater impact on your own culture than you.
>>
No. 35776 Kontra
>>35774
I've never read Wallace's fiction, only a volume of his non-fiction essays when I was around 15-16. I loved those.
That said, I never bothered to check the Hungarian translation of IJ either, I just acknowledged its existence with a smug face whenever I saw it at the bookstore. It's a big bulky volume, with I think two silk bookmarks. A hardcover. Will probably be a rarity in 10-15 years.

If you want to know, I could check it if it's "coherent" or not, but judging by what Gravity's Rainbow is like in translation, it's a big pile of nonsense too, only in Hungarian.

The only reason I brought it up is because I wanted to illustrate how insane it is. You'd think translating a 1000 pages long postmodern novel is a prestige project reserved for major languages with enough resources to do so. But every nation has its moments of (linguistic) megalomania I guess.
(We have moments of megalomania slightly more often than others, just take a look at the fucking Parlament. A giant neo-gothic rivalling fucking Westminster in size for a nation of 10 million. Yes, it used to be bigger, but compared to the Britain, we never had 1/4th of the planet to "justify" building a colossal building for our central legislative body. Nonsense.)

>>35773
>he he he you lost land to upstart nations
YES
>>
No. 35777
268 kB, 800 × 450
>>35759
>Left the leaves there, because there was a hedgehog sleeping under it
Cool. The only thing I ever find cleaning up the yard are snakes and anthills. Although an armadillo did dig a burrow beneath the patio once. I never saw it though, and only found the hole. I don't know how long he was living there, but since I didn't want to risk burying him(or possibly her/babies), I filled the hole in slowly over several weeks. I never noticed any dirt being kicked back out, so it must have moved on.

Today I saw someone in a full winter coat and hat, and 90 minutes later passed another person in shorts and a T-shirt. The trasition period between seasons is weird. It's not cold enough to justify bundling up, but not warm enough to go with the usual summer clothes.
>>
No. 35782
>>35776
I actually meant that in a genuinely sympathetic way, but I realize that adding "over-rated" to the author's description flipped the valency of the statement. A culture with enough latent vibrancy to produce episodes of glorious megalomania is more valuable than marginal territory, even if Transylvania has a ton of really cool and well-preserved historical cities that I would be really jealous of losing... sorry, I'm not helping my case, am I?

>I've never read Wallace's fiction, only a volume of his non-fiction essays when I was around 15-16. I loved those.
It's curious how some writers excel in one and suck at the other. Philip K Dick is an amazing fiction writer, but every time he tried to put his thoughts down into non-fiction prose he would go off on tangents about Gnostic Christian laser beams and alternate realities and enlightenment. His life and mental state were as disjointed and incomprehensible as a Pynchon or Wallace novel, but when he wrote fiction he was like a Delphic seer, using his experience from beyond the veil to do what Pynchon and Wallace could only attempt in their own fiction.
>>
No. 35796
1,5 MB, 1920 × 1080
First day of winter break. I cleaned out the room and organised my writings a bit. Is it egoistic to have a folder under your bed with "My complete works" written on it?
Anyway, I tried to use the same coffee capsule thrice, and twice is good, but thrice results in watery shit.

Well, now I'm onto fixing yesterday's translation, and then I'll probably finish reading that novella I started.

>>35782
It's best we don't open the fucking can of worms that is the 1919-1945 period. That's one of the fastest ways to lose friends in this country. (At least in some circles.)
I too have a troubled relationship with the topic. (And my whole national identity, but that's another matter.)
The only winning move is not to play. (Seriously.)
>>
No. 35799
>>35796
>that pic

Sprry, i really need to.

test
>>
No. 35800
>>35799


i have inflammation. Today, my job was to form 2 boxes of spare parts. Something was "lost". I had stress because boss asked me "we are supposed to have 3 modules to unload! Search!". Turns out, we unloaded 2 of them week ago.

Now my weary stomach hurts, si i took some soda to patch ip my inflammation pains.

Now i have dysrnteria tier diharrea.
>>
No. 35805
>>35800
Crohn's Disease or just a stomach ulcer?
>>
No. 35829
Well, Christmas is almost upon us. Thankfully I don't have to buy any more presents.
Got the last one today while shopping.

Man, there are a lot of people in the stores right now.
I call it the "We are all gonna die" effect. They won't be able to buy anything for three days, so they all rush to the supermarket to buy 6 loaves of bread to "survive" this catastrophe.
Absolutely Godawful.
My greatest concern was getting some paper folders, parenica and a box of biscuits and maybe something savoury to balance out the sweetness of the season.

Currently I'm editing the translation I did three days ago while listening to Mahler.
The fucking Bernstein NYSO on rutracker has random pops in it, and the LSO version is conducted too slowly, and it's killing me that the best version is the fucking Abaddo one on youtube.
Bernstein is absolutely fine for Mahler, but his Shostakovich recordings are awful. Really, only Russian and Soviet conductors got Shostakovich right. (Gergiev's recordings are good, but in my opinion, the best is the Complete Symphonies recorded for Melodiya, which was conducted by Kondrashin, who also premiered some of Shostakovich's symphonies.)
And I'm being autistic again.
>>
No. 35831
>>35829
>I call it the "We are all gonna die" effect. They won't be able to buy anything for three days, so they all rush to the supermarket to buy 6 loaves of bread to "survive" this catastrophe
Here the bigger stores never close for the holidays but people still clog up the aisles at the local supermarket. Not sure why it happens, as the biggest stores are open 24-hours and there is no need to go Christmas shopping at specific times.
>>
No. 35832
1,3 MB, 3264 × 2448
1,5 MB, 3264 × 2448
Can't believe I just mentioned this, but I found a snake in the yard yesterday. This one was dead, though. I took these pictures so that I could identify the species; it looks like a plain-bellied water snake, which is non-venomous. I'm not sure what killed it; maybe someone was putting out poison. Just in case that's what happened, I disposed of it in the trash so nothing would try to eat it.
Here's a video of a guy handling a live one:

PLAIN BELLIED WATER SNAKE-The Daily Snake
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpHuVHEOlgE
>>
No. 35834
>>35831
Well, here everything closes here at noon on the 24th, and nothing (other than maybe small family businesses) is open until the 27th.
>>
No. 35835
>>35831
>the biggest stores are open 24-hours and there is no need to go Christmas shopping at specific times.
I had the same thought. They expand the shopping hours, but everyone still goes during the standard 10am-6pm window. Maybe on some psychological level, a lot of people actually enjoy the packed aisles, and being part of the holiday spectacle.
>>
No. 35847
I got a call from the local barkeep telling me that my father owes him half a monthly wage and that I should pay it. He also called my brother.
There I was wondering who's been giving him money for the last month to buy a bottle of vodka every day. He usually drank ethanol before.
I wonder if the barkeep is so retarded as to give someone who looks like a hobo, wears rags and walks around pissing his pants an unlimited bar tab, or if it was all a cunning plan to get us to pay for his drinks. I told him to fuck off, and he gave me a vague threat that "he'll find me".

I even had a suspicion that he wrote off the house papers and now someone's trying to get him to drink himself to death or something. But it turns out it was just some retard who got swindled by an alcoholic retard. Now I have to deal with a wannabe debt collector.
It's all so tiresome.
>>
No. 35850
>>35847
Why cant you guys just cut him off financially and make sure the house deed and whatever else is all solely in your names and not his? I mean, he isn't even just being a sad pathetic alcoholic at this point; he is actively being an asshole on purpose.
>>
No. 35851
>>35847
>But it turns out it was just some retard who got swindled by an alcoholic retard
So was the bartender actually enough of a retard to give credit to someone who isn't a long-time client?
Maybe in a village community it makes a bit of sense where family members are responsible for one another, but in a city?

>Now I have to deal with a wannabe debt collector.
Judging by the self portrait you showed us last year, I'd say that's not gonna be a problem.
You're a big and serious looking lad.
(Not to mention that I think 90% of people don't follow up on their threats, they just try to get something out of issuing a threat verbally, if they get what they want, great, if not, at least they tried.)
>>
No. 35854
>>35850
I think the bank technically owns the house, and it's frozen until we pay off the loan or something. Which would be like 12 years from now, by the way things are going. It's post soviet analogue to mortgage. The upside is that since we got the house like ten years ago, tenge inflated by like 130%, so it's relatively easy to pay every month now.
And I don't think he's being malicious by intent, he's just mentally ill on top of being a drunkard. Some kinda form of psychopathy or narcissism. Like imagine a slimy used cars salesman who lies and swindles people out of money, then goes and gambles it away or gives it away to strangers for attention, instead of spending it on his family, whom he thinks owe him respect and adoration by default. He genuinely thinks he's a victim in all of this, and that we ruined his life.

>>35851
Well, it's an isolated commieblock district away from the center of the city, so it kind of is like a village in the way that everyone knows each other. But that means he also should've known that he's giving free booze to a hopeless alcoholic who's been unemployed since 2008.

>You're a big and serious looking lad.
I know it's probably not going to get physical, but it's just one more source of annoyance. Despite looking calm and aloof, I'm a bit of a neurotic on the inside, and I just want people to leave me alone. It's just an additional source of anxiety that someone's going to try and harass me on the street about "street honor and "duty to take care of my father" (and his debts) or something. I also told him to do me a favor and leave him outside on the bench so he freezes to death, and that if he does that, we'll sell the house and pay him back. That seemed to offend him. No matter how much of a piece of shit [insert relative here] is, if you don't respect your elders, you're a scumbag in their eyes.

I try to make myself look as unapproachable and indifferent as possible, but with a certain demographic of bydlos it seems to have the opposite effect. Like they feel like I'm not paying enough respect to them or something. Like they are owed acknowledgment just because we kinda see each other on the street sometimes or live in the same neighborhood, or belong to some other arbitrary social group, such as the same school or class or whatever. Some kind of retarded form of tribalism.
I remember back in school we had some kind of petty racket going on where underclassmen had to pay "tribute" to the upperclassmen, and I was the only one who didn't. So once I was called up outside of school to "have a talk", where they tried to sell me on some bullshit about "respecting your elders" and "honor", which escalated to threats of violence and some swarthy monkey looking dude pulling out a tiny, dull chinese folding knife, which I just laughed at. I told them to fuck off and they never did anything, because they were just high school kids playing gangster. They did make sure to later tell everyone how they beat me up and I cried or something, lol. It seemed like they really thought they were hot shit and believed their own bullshit about "tradition", which made me cringe.
What was more baffling to me is that my classmates continued to give them lunch money even after that pathetic display of impotence, which made me realize that they were doing it willingly out of some sense of conformity or "being in on the goings on".
>>
No. 35857
>>35854
I think it's another side of the 3rd world mentality that you've remarked upon before. For some reasons I read and hear a lot about Pakistan, and it seems like the whole culture is made up of insecure manchildren who heard about stoicism at some point in their life, and then decided that to be a REAL man they had to devote their lives to living the exact opposite ideal.

Honor and respect are the only concerns of morality. If someone disrespects you, they've committed a grave offense against the universe, and must be punished. A mob of lawyers in suits ransacked a cardiac hospital in Lahore and got a bunch of patients killed, all because some doctor said something dismissive and disrespectful about a lawyer who they think wasn't treated properly.

It's eerily similar to Western social justice culture, where everyone is constantly on the lookout for things to get offended by, so that they can overreact and feel righteous indignation. The insanity over blasphemy in Pakistan is part of the same phenomenon - actual procedures of Islamic law are irrelevant, all that matters is that they PERCEIVE that an insult has occurred, so anyone even accused of blasphemy has to be killed. Muh honor.

It worries me that the West is devolving into the same kind of anti-Platonic ideal of a dysfunctional society. It is of yet restricted to a small minority of retards, but if the entire intellectual class is corrupted, that corruption can filter out to the rest of society because they run the schools and media.
>>
No. 35861
15 kB, 248 × 300
70 kB, 652 × 670
So I finally got it done; I accomplished my objective; I have the fish tanks. Now all I need to do is figure out a way into a new and affordable apartment where I can set everything up and have my plants and fish and then I'll be happy. Once I finally have got my own place with enough financial security I'll actually be happy and content with things for once. The main problem is getting one and securing it.

I also now have an unbelievably massive amount of fish tanks to work with, including two tens, two 20 gallon lungs, two thirty gallons, a 55 gallon which is sadly taller and thinner than I thought it was but whatever, and also a similarly skinny and tall forty gallon. I have an amazing potential volume of water and number of ecologies to work with at this point and that's not counting the little biocube which is like a 3-5 gallon setup that's really only going to be useful for shrimp or as a small hospital tank unless I wanted to set up some weird miniature marine tank. This is also in addition to a fuckload of different rubbermaid kinds of tubs and two other less than a gallon capacity glass containers I've had. Should I get everything secured I'm now unironically in a position to have the kind of setup as a small mom and pop pet store if I truly felt like it and I'm not even planning to use several of them nor any of the tubs or biocube or anything else really except as quarantine and hospital tanks.

The cube itself is basically one of these stupid little things which is just a small plastic cube with a top, cheap air pump, and cheap filter which might be missing but I have the exact same one it comes with anyway. I suppose I could even set up a tiny place for sea anemones or coral if I were really inclined and financially in the position to actually bother with something that costly in time and money.

I also now just have to overcome my deepest fear which is something where I saw this scene of firefighters saying yeah that must've been the fish tanks because of some popping sound. I do not know if I saw this in a movie, or a bad dream, or a youtube clip, or a dreary premonition, but it has made me massively paranoid for months now.

>>35854
If he were a sociopath that would literally be the definition of malicious intent. Narcissism I'm not as sure about but that would probably fall under malice as well. The difference is sociopaths know what they're doing is wrong, evil, and selfish, but they do it anyway because they have no conscience. I suppose the problem with an active alcoholic is it's little apparent difference with someone so wrapped up in their addictions that they know what they're doing is wrong and do it anyway because the drugs have also seared out their conscience.

I at least like hearing these stories because it horrifies me and reminds me why I don't want to drink anymore. The only difference is I'm around people less but honestly the last time I was hanging out with people and socializing with alcohol I literally left the bar to shitpost on KC instead because I hated being in there and realized the only reason to be there was to drink, and the only reason to drink was to numb myself enough to not be annoyed by everyone around me, the loud shitty music, the baseness of how people were behaving, and the overall lack of conversations. I was starved of having interesting conversation and that was the last time I got drunk with other people. I think that for all its many obvious faults at least Islam got two things right about banking and alcohol inshallah.
>>
No. 35862
>>35861
reminds me of the last time I went to a "party".
I subconsciously located the nearest nerdy looking guy and we spent the whole evening talking about warhammer while everyone else was socializing. it's like I was trying to simulate an imageboard in real life.
that's when I realized that I wasn't a weirdo because of imageboard, but that I visited imageboards because I was a weirdo. Everything made sense.
>>
No. 35863
>>35861
It's like half the size but maybe I could make something like this someday
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdvCNg-iabE
It would actually be pretty neat to have w bunch of coral growing along with my pet shrimp and maybe even a goby or something. I've always liked Gobies theyve got lots of personality
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oj5TJ9k1rP8
them, certain cichlids, and puffers are imo the fishes with the most endearing individual personalities.

Related, I am never going to get tired of the adorable way Russians pronounce guppy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ees80f3BW1A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhDUXnk65EQ

>>35862
Pretty obvious actually. Most of us who are actually successful and happy in life go and become things like academics or intelligence officers, or at least some kind of specialist. It's not that we cant or won't socialize but rather that most people are idiots whose banality we can't stand. I have no idea how they can just keep talking and thinking only about their own things, pop culture references, cars, makeup, trying to get laid. I have absolutely nothing at all in common with probably 80% of people and used to use drinking so basically we at least had that in common. Even among my good friends I always thought their music fucking sucked. As a general rule, if you think everyone else's music sucks in a group, you don't belong in that group. I have found this to be a pretty reliable marker for the types of people I can gel with more deeply. Not always. Some are great on their own, but as a crowd it's like why in the fuck am I even here.
>>
No. 35885
Just got back from grandma's. She needed help with baking scones. Didn't know how to properly set up the oven.
So I set it up for her and waited for the scones to bake. She offered me a Gideonite copy of the New Testament, but I declined. Told her I already have a Gideonite edition.
(She isn't religious, she just happened to have one at hand.)

A strange series of events if you consider the fact that at the beginning of the year, the doctor told the family that She probably won't be with you by Christmas.
Nobody told her.
I guess this is what people call a medical miracle.

Yesterday night I read 20 pages worth of twisted-fables from the volume I translated that one tale from.
This morning I read 20 pages from the novel before I had to go over to grandma's.

Recently I've learnt that my sister intends to learn Russian. I'd say it's a welcome surprise. I pirated the first volume of the HS textbook for her.

I'm feeling really anxious. I sent out three e-mails a few days ago, and no-one replied, which for some reason, is killing me.
Really, I understand. It's the Christmas season, everyone is busy trying to get the decoration and the shopping done, so who gives a shit about my letters.
>>
No. 35888 Kontra
I'm trying not to keep taking up space with this but a gentleman here was asking how expensive marine tanks are in light of that Israeli's marine tank that took up a wall. To give you an idea just how ungodly expensive it is to set up and take care of a nice reef tank
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bt3HeGzotSg
>>
No. 35891
93 kB, 1000 × 667
Any other Ernsts interested in Rally? My first gaming experience falls together with my first personal computer me and my brother got for Christmas 20 years ago and we got gifted the first Colin McRae instead of Autobahnraser https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pj_a6jhBHvo as I had hoped for :DDD

There is something magnificent about the power these cars have and how they get driven thru all kinds of curvy and narrow pathways, be it asphalt, gravel, snow or mud. An engineers skills paired with humans trying to control a a mechanical beast. Truly, Hans Ulrich Gumbrecht is right when he says sports is the last resort where you can't believe its actually happening, where people do become superhuman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INr6ut4jfiA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-bpeREC4RA the spectators of group B times were indeed suicidal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRtyT9WQzdY&t=336s

This Hungaian gives us an onbaord impression of an Audi Quattro. The sound is a bliss and brings a smile to my face at 1.00. Force is force.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5E-bizxdB4

Even this 10yo girl will smile when he throttle is pushed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEAcoMcz2oU
>>
No. 35893
>>35891
Autobahn Raser - nur original mit dem Deppenleerzeichen!

I remember how the green party was certain that the game is responsible for real life racing :DD
>>
No. 35895
>>35893
>Deppenleerzeichen

kek, did not even notice. I played them all up to IV btw. :DDD Truly games pushed my fascination for speed and acceleration I think. Later they got turned down for strategy games and shooters.

>the green party was certain that the game is responsible for real life racing

TV is making our kids dumb as well! I piled thru some 70s conservative text lately where TV was doomed. The wee lad days of media environment
>>
No. 35897
19 kB, 418 × 266
>>35895
There was actually one situation in my life where I nearly had a bad car accident.

Just before entering a village at night there was a traffic island that forces you to dodge, which somehow did not reflect my head lights whatsoever while I was driving with 100 km/h. I swear if it wouldn't have been for GTA San Andreas and Counter Strike I would have bashed into this thing full force.
My two friends in the car confirmed that the traffic island only just appeared when it was in the cone of my head lights.
>>
No. 35898
Just came back from the store. Browsed the selection at the newsagent's a bit. I was looking for the paper of the communist party, but there were no copies left, so I checked out a literary journal instead.
Turns out they accept submissions.
The only barrier of entry is that I actually need to send in my "manuscripts" by mail.
So I guess I'll assemble two-three short stories and then send in those.

Think about it. Literally nothing happened, yet I'm shaking from the excitement and the anxiety.
And fuck, I never actually wrote a proper letter in my life.
Should I even do it? Is it just a fast way to ruin my "career" before it even began?
>>
No. 35899
>>35898
You should submit something that you really enjoyed writing; because if it has impact, this will be what people will expect from you in the future.
So, don't just submit something that is tailored in a way that they will accept it.
>>
No. 35900
>>35899
That seems obvious, and is basically what I meant by "assembling" a few short stories. Collecting the two-three best of what I've written so far and send in those.
If my writings don't represent me, then there is no point in even writing them.
>>
No. 35913
>>35898
Use a pen name
>>
No. 35937
577 kB, 1641 × 2373
The first decade look backs are being released it seems. I did not click as I'm busy with something else.
The first decade in full consciousness for me. The first 5 years of 2010s are clouded in youthful drug consumption and problems tho :DDD I turned 18 in 2010 and went to my first real goa party a month before that. The later half is studying. I cannot even say what was relevant in the first half, despite analysis of the financial crisis. The last five years are migrants and /pol/itics. We could open a thread just for the 2010s as a decade, but maybe some Ernst want to give their look backs here, every dimension is welcome: personal or societal etc.
>>
No. 35942
Woke up with a cold. It wouldn't be so bad if my nose wasn't running constantly.
Makes it hard to enjoy anything when you have to stop what you are doing just to blow your nose every other minute.
Finally wrapped all the presents. Tomorrow is the big day.

>>35937
I only have memories of the second half of the decade. That's when I started reading and consciously working towards bettering my life.

Recently I've been looking through youtube channels I used to watch, and it's sad to see that most have either transformed their content for the worse, or stopped uploading at all. (But mostly just stopped uploading)
There's only one channel left from the Glory Days, and it makes me feel really weird. It's like I'm having butterflies in my stomach that content I used to watch is no more.

The weirdest feeling is that I know that my past self was fucking dumb, but I still don't feel an ounce smarter.