/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

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No. 39325 Systemkontra
202 kB, 1280 × 859
Old sadly passed away, RIP
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No. 39333
1,9 MB, 1600 × 1200
The finishing line for my Thomas Bernhard paper is rising at the horizon. Introduction and conclusion are missing, footnotes need to be polished into academic norm and I will rethink some sentences, their style and stucture. Maybe I can straighten overall coherence but this time I feel it's quite understandable from what I've written so far and is coherent enough to follow through the argument in its full scope pretty much.
Still got nearly two weeks.

But I also need to find an idea for my BA. I've made a turn in topic more or less. Since the last months were not fruitful. However there might be a possible axis from the old nexus to the new one I still new to read about, lol kill me.
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No. 39335
These will be the most stressful weeks of my life. Washing hands until they get a rash, unsure if the infection already happened and it only is a matter of days before symptoms show.
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No. 39336
apparently, country's in full quarantine mode, most businesses are going to shut down, only shops selling produce and pharmacies will be open. buses won't be running at night, and limited by day.
they're talking about closing travel in and out of the city.
not sure how legit any of this is, heard from second hand.
they're taking this pretty seriously, huh.

in other news, my hatred for console "cinematic" action adventure games has been strengthened after trying one of them new tomb raider games (I forgot which because they look the same).
Movement is sluggish because of the "realistic" animation system.
Every action requires a contextual prompt, which then activates a long animation or qte. There is no unity to the gameplay, you are never given all of the tools at once, you can only activate an action when the developer explicitly allows you to.
There are literal linear "slow walking" sections, which you are walking a meter wide path doing nothing, presumably to take in the high detail scenery.
The combat is primitive.
The context sensitive parkour is boring. You can't just climb or jump anywhere you want, only on special, context sensitive parkour objects.
The game is structured in an incredibly predictable manner walking - QTE section - parkour - combat arena - cutscene. Repeat.

Those are honestly barely games. They're just a long simon says simulators with expensive graphics. What I imagine when hearing "game" is that you are given a set of rules and systems, tools, etc., and given an environment to use those tools. Maybe some gaols to reach. In action adventure games, there is no unified set of rules that govern the gameplay, only a disjointed series of "interactive" prompts that trigger animations, and a short arena combat section.
I hate it.
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No. 39339
2,6 MB, 400 × 266, 0:02
One of those long tube fluorescent lights went out yesterday, so this morning I figured I'd replace it. I got up on a ladder, gave the bulb a slight twist-intending to remove it-and the thing started working again. Guess who didn't have to go to the store today?
t.magic fixer

You know there was another time I was changing one of those bulbs, which was in a fixture over the kitchen sink. It kept slipping out of the socket, and in a moment of frustration I snapped the tube over my knee. Let me tell you, those things absolutely disintigrate when broken. God knows what I ended up breathing in that day. There's a lesson for everybody in that: don't get frustrated when working in the kitchen, or you'll end up shaking glass shards out of the toaster.

>>39335
I think we're all more concerned for older family than for for ourselves, but that's even more stressful, isn't it? Hang in there, Ernst.
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No. 39341
>>39335
Strange as all this handwashing has meant I haven't had a sore throat for ages.
Until you have one, I wouldn't worry, hot drinks will help.
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No. 39342
>>39336
I wholeheartedly agree regarding the new TR games. I've also had other problems with them regarding presentation and characters. Lara was a badass not because of all the things she did physically but because of her attitude. Her give-a-fuck-o-meter was constant 0 and nothing would intimidate her. This was even the case in the terrible films with Jolie.

Modern Lara, both in the games and that film I regret watching, is a whiny little shit that nobody can look up to.

To make matters worse, the writing is mediocre while trying to achieve an almost impossible feat: Marrying action-oriented gameplay with character development.
Almost no game has ever pulled that off and the lesson is to stop trying and do what has been shown to work: Introducing the character with the necessary prerequisites for the gameplay. In the old games, when Lara was a badass from the first level to the last, it simply worked. There might not have been character development, but there was also no significant discrepancy.

That's better than the modern attempts where I am actively reminded that she is a vulnerable girl whenever she opens her mouth, seconds before or after killing 20 guys like the most cold-blooded psychopath. They know this is a problem, which is why Lara nearly has a breakdown after her first kill (a deer) and cries a bit after killing the first humans. And then she proceeds slaughtering literally several thousand people within a few days.

It really boggles the mind that this is tried over and over again even though known solutions exist. Don't attempt to add depth to characters that can't have it. Either by not addressing the issue at all, or through comedy rather than drama (see Uncharted).

But meh, I haven't played blockbuster games since ... uh Witcher 3, I guess, which - holy shit - was 5 years ago.
And come to think of it, Witcher 3 actually managed to strike a balance as long as you didn't go on a killing spree among regular citizens (which created massive rifts between the gameplay and how the player was treated in scripted sequences).
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No. 39343
289 kB, 760 × 428
>Government centralises the digital administration to use the same software
>But they also have to use a central server (afaik)
>Hundreds of thousands of people try to log onto e-kréta and it's incredibly slow
>The internet is also slower because there was a 30% surge in the number of users
Fucking spectacular, innit?

The teachers are slowly starting to set up their own channels of communications. One e-mail said that
>The other class is using some kind of game-program
I guess that's TF2 voicechat discord.

The system so far is:
You get homework assigned through the digital diary system, and then you send in if it's necessary by e-mail.
You may get graded for some assignments.
I'll forever feel guilty about not writing that last biology test. Forever.

The girl doesn't have a textbook, so I scanned the necessary chapters and sent it to her. Last week we sat next to each other in literature class. By God, I wanted to hug her.
She was the only one to add a "laugh" reaction to one of my comments in the group chat.

Didn't do much today. I prepared a bit for my German exam, only to find it cancelled. Which is good, because I'm a lazy piece of shit and I didn't prepare at all.
I continued reading the Babits biography, and I played Episode 3 of Doom 1. Man, Doom 1 feels like such a let-down after playing Doom 2. It's not bad, it's just small. The maps are small, there aren't many enemies, and it just doesn't feel the same without the super shotgun.

Ernst, I'm bored of the epidemic now. It's no longer interesting. It has become background noise.
I expected a "permanent crisis" to be different. When I was initially looking at the headlines, it made me feel like I was looking at history in the making. "Yeah, this could be an illustration in a textbook.", but now, it just doesn't have the same effect.

>>39335
Be sure to also wash your face whenever you come home. And not only your hands, bit the 5-10 centimetres that are under your sleeve whenever you come home. (Also, don't touch your face.)
Also change clothes and don't keep the changed clothes in the same room where people stay. (The virus retains its ability to infect on textile for roughly 12 hours.)
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No. 39344
>>39342
The pitiful attempts at telling a traditional narrative through video games is a large topic on its own. In my opinion, the video games excel at making the player experience the story through their own in-game actions, rather than telling "authored" stories. I think a game can tell a powerful story purely through gameplay mechanics. And not just tell, but let the player experience it first hand. It's a shame that art of gameplay storytelling seems to be largely lost.

But my main dislike towards the games in the "action adventure family" is in the gameplay philosophy. I think the gameplay in those games lacks "aesthetic purity" for a better term. I can provide Quake and its direct influences as an example of "purity" in design. Quake and quake-like games have complex and skill based movement mechanics that let you traverse complicated 3D environments in a skill based, and satisfying manner. You can jump on ledges, over gaps, slide across walls and floors, etc. And the thing is, nobody had to explicitly program a trigger and animations for those actions. Nobody had to manually place any objects to make this work. You are free to use the movement mechanics any time, in any context. This "feature" is simply an emergent result of the player's simulated movement, and the geometry of the 3D environment. Same with combat, weapons and enemies. There are no context sensitive interactions that were manually placed. You simply had a bag of tools, a system of rules, and a bunch of objects that are governed by the same simulation as the player is.
And as much as the games are about shooting monsters in the face, they are also about line intersections in space, interactions of solids with planes, trajectories of flying objects and their points of contact across time, etc. There is a sense of mathematical or "metaphysical" unity to the whole thing. You are not only shooting monsters in the face, you are exploring what it "means" to be a moving object in complex geometrical environments, interacting with other objects, across time. There's something unironically "deep" in there.

Compare to those manually crafted action adventure "experiences". For all of their surface complexity, the extent of interaction boils down to "press the button the developer wanted me to press at this moment, receive a visual treat". There is something infinitely less interesting about exploring a human authored "set" than it is about exploring a "system".

tbh I think it sort of reflects the "worldly vs divine" dichotomy. The worldly is complex, rich, detailed, but ultimately shallow and lacking in meaning. The divine is simple, pure, mathematical, and reflective of a deeper truth about reality.
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No. 39345
>>39343
> I'm bored of the epidemic now.

It still can change in the future. So far the crisis is not really happening, what is happening are prevention meassurements that have a huge impact on the daily life of million people since a few days (eurocentric statement claps). What is happening is the slowing down of a pandemic that hasn't evolved into a fullblown crisis yet which is the whole point, the emergency states and governmental technique is to actually prevent a real crisis. But given that voices already claim a fatal economic backlash, we might have to deal with another crisis that gets even more serious.
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No. 39348
>>39344
Well said, friend.

20 years ago there were games in other genres that showed a similar systematic consistency in gameplay rules as Quake did. For example Deus Ex and System Shock 2, which gave you a set of rules without many exceptions. Since their genre wasn't as "pure" as that of Quake there had to be more rules and at the fringes they became exploitable (like NPCs being killed by closing doors) but they were still consistent and exploiting them meant having grasped the underlying mechanics.

In the end this lead to a much more detailed experience, I'd like to call it "immersive" but this term has been tained by PR-bullshit.

I could exploit the system in a game like Jedi Knight 2 or Deus Ex and to an observer that lead to "funny" looking situations, but to me as player these would usually be moments of deep satisfaction that I can't find in most modern games at all.

People get that realism is not as important as experience when they look at expressionist art; they get it regarding graphical presentation in games (eg. the comic-style of Blizzard games or flat/cell shading of TF2) but for some reason game designers are failing to apply this lesson to gameplay mechanics. And to add insult to injury we can compare games from the past and see that it was actually better 20 years ago.
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No. 39356
451 kB, 640 × 563
Oh there disscution on games I don't want to miss but I'm in bed and with phone and can't today post big walls of texts anymore ugh. Espessially about Plot driven vs rules of the world driven and scripted fameplay concepts.
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No. 39358
1021 kB, 960 × 719
Actually I guess german and kazahstan posters above talking about slightly different things.
What more or less Kazahstan talking about is actual obsolescence of traditional plot narratives in interactive era. Plots themeslfs as idea of content structure comes from limits of non-interactive or limited interactive narrative. So basicly everywhere where "game exists to deliver plot" in some ways it's same as when you have modern fimling technology and all miniatures and CGI and plane cameras and using it only to record thetrical play and notng more.
Arcade FPS from id was example of how rules of the game become content itself - open labyrintian levels that follow only one goal - being things that can be passed different ways, give ability to explore, and main thing is to create gameplay tactical situations for rnjoable fight with set of monsters that also follow strict gameplay rules - each type of monster have it's own niche and unique apperance/mechanic attached to it. All plot things is irrelevant, they may be added afterwards as filler for loading screen.
There is no things like when PLOT breaks rules of game like "door closed because plot reasons you can't open it" or "this character is weak but for plot purpose he is invincivle in this chapter because you can't kill him" - things like that is like trying forcefully bring elements of non interactive fiction in interactive world. Even more - quake has no excuses for anything plot related. This game is abstract same as doom because there on purpose was not things like "this level should look like this to be logical in real world. It make gameplay prehaps a bit less sharp but it'll look like real reactor/space ship etc." - no, this games count gameplay above everything. Desighn itself often serverse here gameplay purpose for player to recognise interactive items and enemies.
This is again opposing "non interactive" game perspective: like in modern game, to continue example, shooter you may have ultra-detailed city street with everything from cars to smalkest trash in can. Is it serves gameplay purpose? No, quite opposite, it's here because plot and sseting and aesthetic reasons. Super detailed thing... that technicaly compleatly flat picture. It's same as fake wooden decoration in ancient theatre. What enemies? Do they follow gameplay rules or some purpose? No, for the most part it's undistinguishable mess variations of "enemy soldier with the gun" because sseting and "realism" saying so and we again in movie/theatre, not interactive world.
Tbh this not meant that gameplay is everything approach is that everything may end abstract and has no traditional writing. As long as it not affect gameplay - you can have any desighn and any amounts of text you want. Instead of FPS games I'd bring my classical examples of crpgs built on this rule because I more familiar with genre but there a lot of tactical strategies and sandboxes that also follow rules of gameplay first, constructing world and interactivity tules and build all game conted based on this etc.

What german poster is more talking about is when "plot affects game" vs "plot rules game". So about when non-interactive content actually starting not shape but obey experience. Deus Ex and System Shock 2 being UU close heirs/SSI plot based rpgs a bit more far heirs basing their world and most of gameplay logic on actual in-world plot reasons, heavely count on scripted events and shape it's leveldesighn based on in-world reasons and gameplay equaly. However it's still far from interactive movie or old point and click adventure logic where something can happen just because it happens and it happening constantly. It's like step beyond of bending world around specific plot or game world logic. Nowdays it's represented when game take control from player in important scenes, when gameplay mechnics are faked in best traditions of japanise where actual gameplay feature not really exist but presented in game and work in soecific moments to emulate like this mechanics exist. When instead some mechanics or actual gameplay feature interactivity happens thought key events like "press button to win". Camera focusing by itself or turning for specific events, alove cutscenes where you just need press button like walk forward and thjngs around you will hapoen automaticly. It's not action adventure thing (actually deus ex is fps action with rpg and adventure elemnts for example) - it's just interactive movies. This modern thing as media concept is closer to regular movies or cartoons or theatre and step back from attempts of creating really interactive immersive games that work by specific rules that shape the world instead of "world like this because it's fandmade script that you need to follow".
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No. 39370
The weather's really good today. If it gets any better, I might set up camp on the balcony again to study.
My father woke me up at 9:10. When I asked what the fuck he woke me up for, he told me I should "go to school". For a split second, half dreaming I thought they re-opened everything and I have to go in again, but he just meant that I should study.

I feel sort of hungover despite not drinking a drop of alcohol yesterday. My head hurts.

I've been writing a lot more in my diary. Almost filled up a second notebook. I make sure to write down little statistical facts and smaller anecdotal news that I find interesting.
Basically creating a small mirror of contemporary history to enhance the literary value it.

The number of cases keeps climbing. There's been 58 confirmed infections now. Though the doctors said there's been an increase in the number of people coming in with pneumonia.
The economic impact is a travesty. A euro costs +350 forints now. Absolutely mental. It used to be around 310 a year or two ago, and now it's permanently fucked.
The factories are closing down. Suziki, Mercedes and so on. They've closed down their production lines, either because they want to slow down the epidemic, or they lack parts to continue production.

>>39348
That's what I call quintessentially jank. It's not a model of reality, but still forms a coherent and learnable system in itself.
When the stars align, it becomes more than a game, and instead the focus will be on how many ways can you violate what the developers intended by using the unintentional.
(Think about all the funny dwarf fortress stories where an almost infinite number of variables collide)
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No. 39375
92 kB, 600 × 400
>yes there was a problem with our direct deposit system
> we don't know when itll be fixed and I wish I could say before the end of today but I just can't tell you when itll be fixed
>it's just a bug
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No. 39376
24 kB, 1826 × 202
Welp, looks like I'll not buy anything new soon.
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No. 39377
>>39370
>I feel sort of hungover despite not drinking a drop of alcohol yesterday. My head hurts.

If the pain feels like it's behind one eye then welcome to migraine season. You may also get a runny nose.

t.mild sufferer
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No. 39378
>>39377
>If the pain feels like it's behind one eye

That's a migraine?

I sometimes have it, it really occurs 4-5 times a year or so. Luckily, I guess then.
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No. 39379
>>39377
I don't suffer from migraines because migraines are for women.
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No. 39380 Kontra
>>39379
You don't suffer migraines because you lack a brain.
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No. 39381
>>39377
Dunno, my migraines usually just begin with the so-called aura in eyes (similar to the effect after you look at a very bright light) and continue with the pain in absolutely random parts of the heda. Sometimes the pain is only in one of the temples, and sometimes the heda's front entirely hurts like hell.

>>39378
I usually get one about once a month, and I still have no idea what causes it. Although they don't happen very often ever since I fixed my sleeping schedule. Back when I was in uni I had migraines pretty much every week, and they were much stronger than those that I have lately (sometimes I couldn't even stand straight and had to lean on some wall in order not to fall down, and the aura before them was so bright that I could barely see shit). I always have something like aspirin with me whenever I go to work just in case.
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No. 39386
When last time you written something by hand and not keyboard?
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No. 39387
>>39386
Probably an hour ago into my diary.
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No. 39388
>>39386
I have to document things by hand every workday. My handwriting was never good, but it has become quite horrible by now sadly.
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No. 39390
>>39386
I write down notes on paper quite often. A look into my room will make obvious it's getting a bit out of hand if I don't throw away paper notes whose content has outlived itself over time.

>>>39388
>My handwriting was never good, but it has become quite horrible by now sadly.

Noticed the same. I got quicker but my already shit handwriting turned into a mess I'm sometimes not able to read myself.
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No. 39393
94 kB, 646 × 438
>>39378
>>39381
My theory is it is something to with the sinuses given migraines are barometer sensitive and it would only be right to collaborate with another shitty mistake of evolution (sinuses cause pain in things around them like your teeth when you have a bad cold). Next time you have one, take a look at your pupils and see if you can spot the difference in size.

I've read that caffeine helps but mine always come in the afternoon until I fall asleep.

>>39386
Probably a couple weeks ago - I prefer to take handwritten notes of any talks I attend or in meetings. It feels like something more capable of keeping pace and doesn't create a tapping noise as people talk. Plus I think I remember better if I physically write something.

It does make me wonder if this will turn out to be a generational thing like the art of telephone conversation in older people against the awareness of text/email tone in kids.
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No. 39396
This is infuriating. I want to find all the CEOs and faggot pieces of shit in silicon valley and gut them and strangle them half to death with their own entrails then set them on fire.

Why when I restart my phone or sometimes completely at seemingly fucking random do almost all of my downloaded pictures disappear? I am still upset with these worthless pieces of shit cocksuckers that the last photos of my dog are gone forever because fucking android decided to update itself and the format everything erasing all my pictures. I sincerely hope this virus fuckijng kills everyone responsible. Why the fuck does it keep happening. How does it keep happening. How can I prevent it from ever happening again. All I fucking want is my files, my own goddamn files to be unmolested. If I can't even have a fucking downloaded meme pic to be left unmolested by massive companies I want a fucking class war and I want all of their heads.
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No. 39398
In recent days I have found myself feeling the need to shit but not being able to. Is this related to coronavirus
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No. 39399
>>39398
You probably are consuming lots of caffeine,watch your diet burger fren.
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No. 39409
>>39377
Well, as it turns out it wasn't a migraine, just my blood pressure reaching astronomical heights for some reason. I thought I was going to die last night.
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No. 39429
They have closed my gym. I am not happy. I'll probably end up doing more running or something, and mix in some sprints for strength. I do have a small set of free weights, maybe I can do something with those, but I don't have a bench. Push-ups it is, then.

>>39386
My journals are all hand written. It just feels more natural to write in them that way, rather than typing-even though typing would be more legible.

>>39388
> My handwriting was never good, but it has become quite horrible by now sadly.
Same. I don't know why that happens, but maybe it's because we continually get better at understanding our own handwriting. So if it gets gradually worse, we can still understand it and therefore have no motivation to stop the decline in quality.

>>39393
>I've read that caffeine helps
Yeah, that's what they put in Excedrin Migraine medicine. I haven't had one in years, but used to get them in clusters-like one or two a week for a month, and then nothing for another six months. I didn't get the aura, but the worst ones were accompanied by severe nausea. They were always centered behind my left eye, and could be triggered by light hitting that eye at a certain angle. My mother and sister have migraines, too, so there is probably a genetic component to them.
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No. 39449
65 kB, 534 × 384
I was drunk af after 5 cans of beer and it was 5am and my oldest kid woke up insisting she had to puke, there was a puke bug going around and her sister was puking last night so I had to take her down to my computer room, give her some calpol while telling her it was special anti-puke medicine in a slurred voice and set her up in a hammock behind my PC as I watched Battlestar Galactica and proceeded to get drunker af. She passed out behind me with a puke bowl in her arms happy to be in my company. Sometimes being a parent is real easy. Now the greatest challenge is not banging her head off a wall or banister as I carry her back upstairs to her bed after 7 cans of beer

>>39386
I keep a hand written diary but only write in it when times are either really bad or really good. Every entry in the last few years has been bad times, and last time I wrote in it was maybe 2 weeks ago
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No. 39483 Kontra
>want to eat more healthy
>buy organic fruit bar
>one tastes ok, the other like shit; both are expensive
>go grocery shopping, see cheaper fruit bars
>not much sugar and good fruit selection, allright
>find out at home that the cool fruits are actually just concentrate from fruit juice mixed in (at least they taste good)

Is this the first orangetexting on this board? I'm really tired and I think stories like this can be told in that form.
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No. 39485
My patience is now rapidly approaching the breaking point. A hell of a lot is being asked of me right now for my pay grade and we are specifically not allowed to wear protective gear when dealing with the public.
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No. 39486
Been trying to find a job during these tough times. But I have to keep on going. In the meantime, I need to find new things to do in order to pass the time more effectively, while not getting so depressed as to get kms thoughts.
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No. 39487
>>39486
hang on isn't singapore faring better than almost any other nation on earth wrt the virus
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No. 39489
I feel like my head is completely numb. If I look at the "list" of articles I could write, I just don't feel any energy to pursue any of them. The mere thought of writing something down feels really painful for some reason, even though it's literally the only way for me to make money at the moment. Maybe that's exactly why it feels so tiresome even thinking of writing. Bad thing is that I can't just sit down and do it, because one will see that it's half-assed while reading.
Guess I'll try to take an actual day off today and go to the forest and read something. Guess I just really need some input or I can't give output anymore.
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No. 39491
>>39489
Even more so as I laid aside my vape for the moment, cause I decided I want to bother my respiratory system too much in these times. Originally I planned to kick it in the next months, dosing down the amount of nicotine from 1mg to 0mg but I noped out completely when they had 600 deaths in Italy.
Sucks, as it's probably my first day completely without nicotine for 5 years and it sucks even more as my concentration is low anyways and feels even lower without it. Fug.
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No. 39493
1,9 MB, 1985 × 2362
>>39489
I need to write the conclusion for my paper, but can't find the energy.

I want to read but the amount of books paralyzes me.

  1. The Ideal of Rationality
  2. An introduction to Willfried Sellars
  3. Kants Prolegomena zu einer künftigen Metaphysik (a short Critique of Pure Reason by Kant himself)
  4. Marx Grundrisse
  5. Deleuze and Guattaris A Thousand Plateaus (in combination with a compendium where for every plateau there is an essay by somebody who dealth with the work of the two frenchmen.
  6. An Introduction to Philosophy of Science
Needless to say that 4 and 5 are mega projects that would take at least 1-2 months reading 20-30p everyday more or less.
Also this is just a selection.
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No. 39514
10 kB, 204 × 136, 0:01
The weather changed and I no longer feel like dying.
My blood pressure was consistently above 150 during the past two-three days. I'm not even fat. What the fuck man...
Too bad it had to change for the worse. I enjoyed sweeping the garden roads under the blossoming cherry tree.

Finally I can set to work. Nothing hard. A simple poetry analysis, one page long.
Then some biology and tomorrow maths.
I'm still missing two books for the literature matura, so I ordered those. A short novel and some contemporary poems.
This "digital education" thing sucks. I just get shit assigned by email and I can't separate my time at home from my time at school.

I'm also going to bake some savoury goods. There's only sweets at home for some reason.

>>39493
Start all of them, see which one sticks.
If I had nothing to do, I'd be reading Virgil's Death or Babits's The Sons of Death.
Too bad I have to prepare for the matura.
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No. 39529
>>39483
I always liked Nutri-Grain bars, but they're not really that healthy. They do taste good, though.

>>39514
>My blood pressure was consistently above 150 during the past two-three days.
You must be under a lot of stress. That's actually what my blood pressure was when it was taken by the dentist two weeks ago. I don't know why she had to check that, because she had never done so in the past. I mean, the dental chair is not the place to get accurate readings.
If I'm being honest, that 150 wasn't entirely the dentist's fault, since my blood pressure does usually run a bit high-just not that high[spoiler].
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No. 39538
You know what it's pretty strange to think about how I stupidly said to a coworker about 6 or 7 months ago that it feels like I'm living in the last years of the Soviet Union. I'm pretty sure thinking back that she misinterpreted this as some Alex Jones tier statement when what I really meant was that America in mid to late 2019 really reminded me of the Soviet Union in the mid to late 80s somehow. It's pretty weird to think about all that a mere 7 months later when it's literally a possibility now that my country can collapse in a SU kind of a way in the next few years. I'm pretty sure that's going to come as a bit of a shock to everyone who was not paying any attention.
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No. 39540
>>39529
Mine usually runs about 150 or 160/100 but then again I'm a heavy smoker with a family history of high blood pressure. I got it down to like 120/80 or even 70 which is phenomenal. The only thing is the blood pressure pills gibe me a feeling of weird chest tightness when I take em which is partly why I frequently miss doses (they're 24 hour time release so it's not as easy to notice viscerally). I wish I was on lisinopril or something like that instead though. I also sometimes miss my hydrochlorothiazide. The first time I took that it felt like I'd just taken a valium. The sudden drop in blood pressure was like a drug.
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No. 39547
42 kB, 750 × 731
>>39540
Today I noticed that everybody is walking in wide circles around each other. They weren't doing that yesterday. It's weird, like we're all afraid of each other, and this is the physical manifestation of that. I wasn't doing it at first, but then after seeing it repeated I began to mimic it-so that I wouldn't stand out as "that guy".
I also saw someone had written some motivational messages on the sidewalk with chalk: Smile; Wash your hands; practice social distancing; we'll get through this etc, all with hearts and smiley faces. I checked twitter, and it was part of #chalkyourwalk.

>>39540
I'm glad you've got a way to control your blood pressure, but it sucks you can't get your preferred meds. I'm lucky that I was able to avoid daily pills.
My blood pressure was in the 150's when taken by a dotor a few years ago. She suggested I try some dietary changes, which I did. After cutting my sodium way down, I can get it to 120's/80-which I'm grateful for (R.I.P. flavor although the Mrs. Dash line of mixed spices are pretty good. I put those on potatoes instead of salt). Of course I do miss full-salt peanut butter. And chips. And saltine crackers. And most breakfast cereal has a ton of salt, which I'm now painfully aware of. But sacrifices must be made, I guess.
I've never smoked, and am not overweight, so the hereditary explanation is the only one I can think of. Some of us just have higher blood pressure. I know for sure that my grandmother had a problem with it. I also remember as a child getting my bp taken at one of those machines they have in supermarkets. It was really high, and I was only 10. I'm a lifelong hypochondriac, and even then I thought that this was going to kill me somehow. My mother ended up getting me a card-that machine used a card which you had to sign up for- so I could go back and check it whenever I wanted.
>>
No. 39548
Hey not sure where to ask this and can't remember if I already did but which service provider is better, Verizon, Spectrum, or EarthLink? IIRC isnt EL still ran by the Xenu cultists? Because I know they were somehow involved before so I am much more wary of getting EarthLink which I otherwise would be most strongly considering because it is the cheapest. The other biggest factor: which internet providers are going to be the least likely to give me shit for using torrents? Because I already know that Spectrum is pretty fucking awful about this.
>>
No. 39555
2,7 MB, 4032 × 1960
There is something very soothing about a deserted shopping mall, one in which you can freely park, walk to the store you want to visit (if it's open) and pick up your things outside of the actual store while keeping a 10 meter distance from employees. This situation is something of an assburger paradise.
>>
No. 39572
>>39555
Somewhat sad I escaped Helsinki to the countryside during the first signs of corona. It would have been a blast to document how the biggest shopping malls turned to ghost towns:

https://dynamic.hs.fi/a/2020/ennenjanyt/

Our national newspaper did a pretty good job, can you see it or is it behind the paywall?
>>
No. 39578
>>39572
Amazing photographs, thanks.
And it wasn't behind a paywall for me. I know a lot of news sites are suspending paywalls for their COVID-19 coverage, which is a great thing for them to do.
>>
No. 39579
40 kB, 400 × 294
>>39548
>EarthLink
If seems they're owned by Trive Capital now, a private equity firm founded by Joshua Kushner-yes, he's the brother of Jared. So, at least the guy at the top isn't a Scientologist.
>>
No. 39580
>>39579
>blinky

where is that from?
>>
No. 39583
306 kB, 480 × 368, 0:02
>>39580
>where is that from?
Blinky was an early mascot for EarthLink. He's kind of cool in a retro way, like Microsoft's 'paperclip' helper.

Earthlink Dial-up Demo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BSFMsCT-98
>>
No. 39591
53 kB, 480 × 640
58 kB, 409 × 600
>>39572
Yeah there's still a surprisingly lot of people shopping at places like Walmart but the overall amount of traffic and people out and about has slowed way down. What I really want to do is get at least some chalk and maybe see if I can use that to stencil "WE DID IT!" right underneath/near an Army of the Twelve Monkeys logo, but I don't want to use spray paint because I can't afford it and I sure as shit would not like to be spending this in jail right now. Actually I don't even know can you get nabbed for graffiti and get jail time? I just happen to think this idea would make everything festive for the occasion.
>>
No. 39592 Kontra
>>39591
*can't afford the fines
>>
No. 39605
Girl I love told me that "she does'nt feel anything" towards me
Mom visited the doctor and will get tested for cancer

I don't know what to do anymore
>>
No. 39606
>>39605
Sorry to hear that pal.
>>
No. 39608
>y'know, Ernst, you're too much of a romantic
FUCK
Why give me all these hints if you're going to reject me? Why lead me on and agree to meet me if you knew from the start what this was going to be about? And, most importantly, why message me afterwards and attempt to chat as though nothing had happened?

>What would the point of a relationship between us even be? What would our dates look like?
I didn't know what to answer. She hit the nail on the head. I was so engrossed in the idea of having a relationship I never actually thought about the day-to-day things we could do together as a couple. I'm too autistic for most social activites, I have no interesting hobbies, and I don't drink alcohol. The holy trinity of character traits one needs to be fundamentally undateable.

>Honestly, you should have prepared better for this/rehearsed this more (two ways to translate this from Russian into English)
I... What the hell was I even supposed to say?

As you may have figured out if you actually bother to read this, I was rejected. Honestly, it was probably a blessing in disguise. To be even more honest with you, I should have seen this coming. Holy shit, this whole thing was so much easier in middle/high school.
>>
No. 39610
>>39608
Hoh did you meet her? How fast you started relationships? Did you knew her before?
>>
No. 39614
>>39608
Mother of God, this woman went in with a butcher's knife. Brutal.
I don't know what sort of east slavia demon woman you're dealing but keep your chin up, Ernst.
>>
No. 39615
217 kB, 978 × 776
Lost my job and the job market is in ruins. Had to apply for work about 500km away to even have a decent number of feelers out. At least the gestapo are saying that you're not even allowed to visit family anymore. Looks like going to prison to avoid going broke is gonna work out just fine.
>>
No. 39617
This thread is rather depressing to read lately.
>>
No. 39618
>>39615
Are you skilled, qualified and experienced for this new role.
What are you skilled, qualified and experienced for.
I wouldn't be paying my rent, as rentberg cannot evict you, many self-employed roles are open, can you make build some thing, be a delivery driver, work in a supermarket.
Tough times all over.

I bet carer positions are open.
>>
No. 39621
433 kB, 800 × 537
>>39615
In my country apparently what happened was the faggot GOP porkbarreled a ton of bullshit into our relief bill, allocated only $120 billion to hospitals, offered no debt relief, only offered a single one time payment of $1,000 and I'm not even clear on if you'd qualify if you weren't making much money to begin with (who are obviously the exact millions of people who need it the most) and gave trillions to businesses without any protections for employees being fired (in other words the lesser but still faggot dems are demanding that any businesses must retain at least 90% of the workforce if they're getting their gibes).

So, more gridlock and the days are counting down to the end of the month and bills and rent being due for everyone. Oh boy I'm sure this'll be fun.
>>
No. 39623
558 kB, 595 × 767
It's snowing.
Heard that there's been 5 hospitalisations related to the coronavirus in my town. One fatality too. It unsettles me greatly, since I left the house twice in the past two weeks. Or has it been only one week since schools were closed? Don't remember, honestly.

I really fucking hate the digital administration system. I can't fucking organise any of the tasks. I click the button "organise by deadline", and it doesn't organise it at all.
Same goes for alphabetical order or posting order.
Not to mention the fact that I can't just "tick off" something after it's done.

People are actually hell bent on keeping this "digital education" nonsense running. One day I'm going to curb-stomp the Stakhanovite retard that thought this up. One day.
Until then I'll have to keep writing essays to hand in.
Wouldn't be that big of a deal if teachers weren't hell bent on keeping their unimportant meme subjects running. Seriously, if you're not teaching something that's on the matura, then fuck off. No, I'm not going to watch an American movie for your "life style class". We never even met.

Woke up and mum was home. Got worried for a second that she got fired or something, but she's just working from home.
Finally I think I'm over it, whatever it was. Now it's just regular anxiety, which feels refreshing compared to the perceived feeling of impending heart failure.

Yesterday I started reading The Night is Short, Walk on Girl again. Don't know if I'll finish it. I kinda expected to be able to just kick back and relax during the shutdowns.

>>39621
Wait, that 1000 dollar gib was actually real? Sounded bonkers when I first heard about it. "The GOP giving everyone free money" reads like a parody.

>>39617
We live in troubling times now, I guess.
>>
No. 39625
>>39623
>Don't remember, honestly.

Eerie, no?
I have the sames for days now, when did that corona thing take off, I cannot say. I have to look it up and be surprised it's nearly two weeks ago that it started to go viral :DDD in Germany.
I listened to the Urbanomics PlaqePod, where the state of actual acceleration and radical contigency was agreed upon, made me smile. Yet it was also noted how we seek to human security positions, unlike one guy who said spreading the virus is the only accelerationist thing to do, Landian vibes tbh.
There is an acceleration regarding health threats, which is accompanied by a decceleration of public life and economic whirl. Both in combination set up a future horizon which seems quite contigent. We don't really know what will happen and even scientists and their probabilities and planning cannot provide sufficient answers by now. I'm especially interested in the economic downturn whilst the virus will still be spreading etc. How will it be solved, how will people react to all this?

I went to work this morning by foot. Getting some fresh air for the day at least. People really only are encountered alone or as couple, feels like a prolonged sunday, perhaps even less since cafes and restauraunts are closed. Considering the good weather the streets were empty one could say.
>>
No. 39628
Today was the first day at my new job. It went well I think and I made a fren.

>Session in my diary for online board game night
>Session in my diary for online home yoga
>First thing every morning we have online coffee chat

This is bullshit. I think Boris just said I can't leave the house to have a ciggie.

>>39605
Nothing you can do. Just try to be there for your mum and tolerate her annoying family.

t.mother had cancer but got better

>>39608
>why message me afterwards and attempt to chat as though nothing had happened?

Because she wants attention. Block that bitch.

>>39623
>Wait, that 1000 dollar gib was actually real? Sounded bonkers when I first heard about it. "The GOP giving everyone free money" reads like a parody.

Over in Britain the government has just effectively nationalised rail and MPs are seriously pushing for UBI. Turns out Jeremy Corbyn won the last election.
>>
No. 39632
>>39623
>"The GOP giving everyone free money" reads like a parody.
Thay're honestly not very good at it. The Democrat controlled House wanted $1000 for every citizen-if you're a citizen you qualify, simple as. But then the Republican led Senate decided to use 'means testing'-which would cut off the rich-those who earn over 75k iirc- but also citizens who didn't earn enough to qualify. That cut-off number meant you had to earn a minimum of $2500 in 2018. So the people at the very bottom get nothing, like >>39621 said.
Of course the whole thing fell apart today, so who knows what they'll do.

>>39628
>I think Boris just said I can't leave the house to have a ciggie.
You're going to have to run while smoking, and call it 'daily excercise'.
My State hasn't been locked down yet. The Governor said something about the vast majority of our Counties being virus free, so he didn't want to damage businesses if he didn't have to. That attitude won't last much longer. The mayor wanted to issue a local shelter-in-place order, but the County went against her and decided not to do it. For now.
>>
No. 39635
64 kB, 590 × 350
>>39632
>You're going to have to run while smoking, and call it 'daily excercise'.

I'm only allowed one walk a day. Anymore and the fitness police will come and get me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zN226CmaNcI
>>
No. 39637
>>39635
In Spain you can only go for a walk with your dog. Not any other animal, mind you:

https://www.theolivepress.es/spain-news/2020/03/21/im-walking-my-goat-and-15-other-excuses-that-resulted-in-police-fines-during-spains-coronavirus-lockdown/

On the bright side, adopting dogs from shelters is becoming now a trend.

I have a cat.
>>
No. 39649
Now you have to go early in the morning to get your groceries if you want to buy any meat products. Goddamn hoarders, you don't need ALL the protein. Yesterday I went shopping for today's dinner and the whole meat aisle was empty at 8PM.
>>
No. 39666
109 kB, 720 × 308
>>39649
I've had 2 weeks of this nonsense. My spice rack collects dust as I've been reduced to scavenging whatever is left of the frozen food aisle or otherwise trying to work out what meals I can put together from increasingly unusual (and unhealthy) ingredients. The fun part is supermarkets stockpiled heavily for a potential no deal Brexit so the problem is literally one of trying to restock shelves at a faster pace than greedy people can swipe everything.

But for a positive spin - I mixed instant mash powder with instant beef gravy granules today and felt very accomplished by the result of gravy mash. And here's a page where you can work out how long your toilet paper supplies will last:
https://thepooptool.com

Supposedly I have enough to last around 48 days of 'normal use'.
>>
No. 39668
For once I like that our politicians listens to the experts. I just hope they will have the balls to continue doing it. A lot of people are already loosing their jobs so I'm glad that they are not closing down everything just because everyone else does it but rather when they have to.

Also why the fuck toilet paper? Canned beans isn't sold out but toilet paper is. Are people at home shitposting?
>>
No. 39669
>>39668
I honestly have no idea but it's probably several factors one of which is that while individual diets may vary literally everybody shits. I'm really not entirely sure though.

As for jobs you have no idea how hard I wish I was laid off right now. Currently I'm exploring different legal options for backing me wearing PPE into work. People at lots of different companies including customer service type jobs are being directly told not to wear masks. It's almost like they're trying to kill us all on purpose and of course if I get outright fired for insubordination or some shit I can't collect unemployment, but if this keeps up I may end up flouting it until I get fired or finally decide my lungs are worth more than a paycheck and quit.

What you guys are about to witness is the hardest fucking America has taken since at least Vietnam, if not since 1812.
>>
No. 39670
>>39669
lol, why are you so afraid of a virus, which has a lower lethality than influenza?
Especially for young people.

https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.02.12.20022434v2

Following links are in German:

https://www.heise.de/tp/features/Wie-gefaehrlich-ist-Covid-19-4688588.html

> Bei 100.000 infizierten Personen, was wohl das realistischere Szenario ist, beträgt die Quote nur noch 0,017 Prozent.

Sars-CoV-2 has a lethaltiy of 0.017%. Which is fucking nothing.

https://www.risknet.de/themen/risknews/pandemie-der-kollektiven-hysterie/
>>
No. 39671
>>39670
>Sars-CoV-2 has a lethaltiy of 0.017%. Which is fucking nothing.

And this is for the overall population.
You are young and healthy, so it is probably around 0.0017%.
Are you seriously worrying about such a low probability of risk?
>>
No. 39672
>>39668
I agree. Swedish politicians seem to be among the few acting rationally and not panic-retarded.

>That huge range markedly affects how severe the pandemic is and what should be done. A population-wide case fatality rate of 0.05% is lower than seasonal influenza. If that is the true rate, locking down the world with potentially tremendous social and financial consequences may be totally irrational. It’s like an elephant being attacked by a house cat. Frustrated and trying to avoid the cat, the elephant accidentally jumps off a cliff and dies.

https://www.statnews.com/2020/03/17/a-fiasco-in-the-making-as-the-coronavirus-pandemic-takes-hold-we-are-making-decisions-without-reliable-data/
>>
No. 39674
>>39670
>posting these insane lies and expecting anyone to believe them
On the plus side I do genuinely look forward to watching lots and lots of morons get killed or permanently disabled. On the downside there will be massive amounts of innocent collateral damage.
>>
No. 39675
>>39670
A Heise Author has copied numbers from pre-published studies, from which, with 8th-grade math, it follows that Covid-19 is not a problem. We should have it translated to Italian, it will help the doctors there a lot with their shortage of ventilators.
>>
No. 39676
>>39670
Why are you afraid of ruining capitalism? This crisis is the possibility for revolution, we can finally do away with privileges and built a much better society. All that is needed to bring the system to collapse is plundering a few rolls of toilet paper and spreading the disease.
>>
No. 39678
>>39670
rötzer does not make any statements on how the death rate of covid-19 is, he merely critisizes that different countries use different measurement methods and lists possible inaccuracies such confusing data is going to give. i have no idea why you refer to his article, it does not support your claim.
same goes for romeike's text, he also critisizes confusing data yields via different measurements. the sentence you quoted makes an estimate based on an assumed high dunkelziffer (estimated real number) i.e. a random multiplication of the cumulative german measurement from almost 1 week ago. it didn't have any real meaning a couple days ago and has even less meaning today, since the infection rate has not slowed down significantly while the death rate has multiplied.

here's a good article by alexander unzicker:
https://www.heise.de/tp/features/Coronavirus-Nach-der-Notbremsung-4689695.html
there are a couple interesting links at the bottom of the text as well such as this one:
https://ourworldindata.org/covid-testing
>>
No. 39689
102 kB, 960 × 720
Home office defiles the sanctity of the separation of work and home.
My home library is a sanctuary where I do my own research, and not your datamine where I slave away based on your whims you send me through e-mail.

So anyway, I'm drinking the remaining glass of chivas and carry on. Not much I can do besides killing or ruining my career possibilities.
>What a shame I cut down that tree in the garden last year, mother.
>It is.
>Because if I could, I'd cut it down again out of sheer anger.
Though this isn't anger. Nor is it despair. I think this is what most people call frustration.
A pointless, unending battle you can only lose as time goes on.
The fucking uni students had a week to do nothing but jack off. I wish I had that luxury without paying the price.

It's going well, so I must've hit the Ballmer-peak. Though I still want to fucking cry.
/woe is me

Might go to the store later.
>>
No. 39690
44 kB, 600 × 400
>>39617
I kind of fine. Nothing bad happened, but nothing good eather. Still waiting 2010-s will slowely die and we approach "true" 2020s.

At least it's not so over panic in my city and can go to cinema and stuff. Not to say there a lot of watch here, but still.
>>
No. 39735
I think the hardest part of being a manager comes after you've been doing it for awhile and have start seriously thinking about situational style and tones. Mostly I've just stumbled along with a management style of 'colleague with a bigger hat' but I'm now at the point where I need to think more clearly about this stuff. Certainly I need to start being more clear on what I'm asking people to do and more 'there' in general - especially now that we're all working from home.

Such cases. I miss being the big fish in a small pond.

>>39689
>The fucking uni students had a week to do nothing but jack off. I wish I had that luxury without paying the price.

Well, I mean, pornhub is giving away free premium.

Everything they say about it forcing interracial with white women is true - I didn't even know AMWF was a thing but it's filling up my recommendations and I can't make it stop. The fuck is going on? And if I wanted hexagons I'd watch it in 240p.
>>
No. 39737
>>39672
We will need to see how long it lasts. I bet they get bullied when they talk to other countries, despite those countries own expert didn't advice closing the borders and stopping anything fun. Even with our very limited restrictions people still loose their jobs so suicide rates are bound to go up for example. "Funny" thing is when asked about if the public health agency are looking into the effects of the economic slowdown on peoples health and if they think suicide rates will go up, the answer were yes, we are looking into it.

I also hope anyone responsible for cutting funds to medical equipment gets ill.
>>
No. 39738
>>39672
Except that it's clearly not. More people have been killed by SARS-CoV-2 in about three months so far than have been killed by H1N1 for an entire year and it's only just getting started. Who, why does anyone even come up with this retarded shit? The best I can figure is the worst absolute failures of leaders like BoJo, Bolsonaro, and Trump, literally only give a shit about the economy and not looking bad so they're trying to play down the problem at even exceeding ChiCom levels of sheer bullshittery.
>>
No. 39739
I have now just realized that I've always heard, thought, spelled, and pronounced demiurge as "demigurge"
>>
No. 39742 Kontra
>>39676
>Why are you afraid of ruining capitalism? This crisis is the possibility for revolution, we can finally do away with privileges and built a much better society.
I would not be so hopeful that the society that you believe is "much better" will actually come to pass in the way that you vision it. This is not just because the old guard would still have some influence and steer society into a direction that you personally dislike, but because the development of a society can never be subject to rational human control.
On the other hand, a collapsed society has not failed to adapt; it has taken the best path available. Collapse is not synonymous with anarchy or a Hobbesian state of nature; it’s just another way of organizing. I would suggest this: live in a way that such an event would have a negligible impact in how you live, and build communities right now that you wish to see. This is a large part of the problem with modern "rebellious" ideologies (left wing or right wing); they scarcely build anything and try to destroy aspects of current society without an already existing foundation from which to build upon (no internet forums are not a real foundation) after these aspects of modern society are removed.
>>
No. 39744 Kontra
>>39742
*envision it
Damn I'm pretty tired
>>
No. 39775
I think I managed to perform my duties well yesterday. I handed in everything, and I'm basically back on track.
Even worked a bit ahead of schedule and turned in a biology assignment.
Had a can of beer. Beer is the only drink where I noticed considerable changes in quality based on country of origin.
Czech beer tastes good. Hungarian beer is pisswater. I bought licensed-pisswater because they didn't have any Czech beer.
(Though now that I think about it, the same goes for vodka. Russian and Polish vodkas are good, while Hungarian vodka tastes like nail polish.)

I was sent a list of three films I could do a short (10-15 sentences) review on for media class.
>Son of Saul
The Hungarian oscar-bait holocaust movie I jokingly recommend my father whenever he says there's nothing good on TV.
>Some Scandinavian thriller I can't be bothered to remember the title of
Nah.
>Closely Observed Trains
A 1966 Czechoslovak movie adapted from a novella by Bohumil Hrabal. I decided to go with this.
Based on the first 4 minutes, it's my kinda movie.
When I read the e-mail, at first I though it was three Holocaust movies based on how the first one was about the Holocaust and the second one had "Trains" in the title. That would have been a brilliant trolling.
I can't be arsed to give a shit about the Holocaust. I just don't care. Gave up on it in 8th grade when some fat Jewish activist came to our class and told us we were all guilty. I'm not having any of that.
I don't deny it, I don't want it to happen again, just don't talk to me about it unless absolutely necessary.

Tomorrow I can finally pick up the last two books I ordered. I actually have to read those for the matura.
I'm actually feeling very well, now that the weather isn't frantically changing between 20 degrees and snowing.

I still kinda expect the virus to miraculously disappear one morning after I wake up. This is no way to live.

>>39735
It's not about porn. It's about being able to do nothing.
The uni students had their spring breaks ahead of schedule instead of having to study online despite already having infrastructure in place.
>>
No. 39777
>>39739
At least you invented a new word: demigurgitation.
I'm not sure what it precisely means or the context in which it could be used, but it sounds cool.
What does it mean to gurgitate halfway? Something to think about perhaps.
>>
No. 39779
>>39742
I've been reading a few posts / repostings and analysis from anarchist circles on corona, that deal not so much with the authoritarian meassurements but also the upcoming crisis of the capitalist economies of the west especially, where the money press goes brbr as it did so many times before and we might see something different and worse than last time, the coming to an end of cheap money prolongation and debt building and its managment, will this finally bring change to the financial industries that are hoovering above the real economy of production (and service). I couldn't say anything, so far we don't know what will happen I think. Like anything goes. But what to do in that case? And I don't mean just the "save your ass" but the matter of what to do, what to construct. You already mentioned the community building. But where and what and how? I've been living isolated more or less, but I've seen people every once in a while, now that people keep distance in the streets, it feels even more lonley than before. Solidarity should be shown with risk groups etc, a big WE (kind of an illusion given that inequality prevails nonetheless), but at the same time I feel like this actions also destroys alot of other solidarity options.
>>
No. 39794
108 kB, 283 × 244
>Wake up
>22 notifications
>Throw a fit of anger
>Go to book store to pick up my package
>Come home from the book store
>Have a crying fit after drinking a shot
Minute by minute we're going deeper.
Every morning I check my notifications, and I want to die just a bit more.
"Digital education" basically boils down to impersonal busywork that fucks you over.
>Hurr hurr what you turned in is shit
>I'm not telling you why though, but next time I'm going to grade it and fuck you over with it
Lunacy, idiocy, retardation.
Told her politely that I'm not doing any more coursework until she actually tells me what the work I hand in should look like.
I guess I'd feel more comfortable if there weren't any deadlines and it wouldn't screw with my grades. Fucking teach me something instead of giving me endless busywork. Where are the classes that were promised to be held digitally you whore?

There's nowhere to go. "Home" as a concept lost its meaning now that everyone can find me by mail and on my phone. There's nowhere to retreat. Fuck it.
Every time I check my e-mails I almost get a brain aneurysm.
>If your classmate gives his permission, I could send you his version (which is good)
I'm surrounded by idiots. Why is HIS permission necessary? WHY?
And why is it that everybody else can perform normally while I can't. I'm supposed to be the "gifted" one.
Am I that much of a con-man running on charisma?

So anyway, after a can of beer and two other crying fits I think I've reached equilibrium.
I prepared the desk for study outside under the cherry tree. It'll be glorious.
>>
No. 39800
130 kB, 840 × 551
My county government has passed a stay-at-home order, but it's pretty weak. People can still go out, and businesses can stay open, so long as everyone maintains a distance of 6 feet from each other. It is legally enforcable-so a police officer can charge violators with a misdemeanor if they refuse to disperse when told to do so. But since you get a warning first, there is no fear that you'll end up with a fine just for leaving the house. Basically, it's only function is to keep large groups of people from gathering together, and if they do then this order gives police the power to break it up. I think it was aimed mostly at teens, who never fail to terrify the elderly. The county was actually considering a full curfew, which would have kept everyone indoors overnight, and all day on Saturday and Sunday, but that didn't pass. I'm glad for that. During a curfew, police officers would fine anyone they saw on the streets or sidewalks. So if that had happened, I couldn't even go out for a brief walk or run on the weekends.
btw, it seems like a lot of people have taken up running around here. Before, I would only see a few runners a day, but now I'm seeing a dozen or so. It's probably because all of the gyms have been closed(that happened beacause of a State order). And we're all passing each other in wide arcs, which is still weird.
I was attempting to do that this morning, and as I approached a woman from behind she kept veering back and forth, from the left side of the sidewalk to the right. So I wasn't sure which side to pass on. I had to time her weaving to get past her. I don't know why she was doing that, but she was wearing very tight yoga pants, so maybe she wanted someone to tell her that she should dress more modestly.
>>
No. 39802
The rashes on both my hands have begun to heal, barely notice them today. I think they came mostly from the stress and crying, basically body was in fight-or-flight mode for 24/7. The hand washing was just the minor irritant to flare it up.
>>
No. 39803
>>39735
Hardest thing about being a manger is caring.
Second is that finding out everyone is an idiot who doesn't care.
Third is realizing the difference in pay isn't worth the stress.
Fourth is that managers rarely do work and are assigned to manage people.
Fifth is realizing that you are only there to put numbers into excel to create a nice looking pie char/graph/power point.
Sixth is realisng the amount of women who slept their way to the top
Seventh realizing the Peter principle as well as the tactic of promoting ineffective candidates who will be pleased with the token title and minimal pay raise.
Eighth is that you are unskilled and unqualified to be anything else, at this point you become the typical manager, lower IQ can skip previous steps.
>>
No. 39814
I went outside. It was idyllic. The smell of the cherry blossoms, the slight wind. Only if the neighbours weren't cretins who enjoyed meme-music on their balcony.
But I finally managed to actually enjoy something.
Almost wrote a poem.

Time for some lemonade and some food. I guess I might still be able to get a few things done today.

Tomorrow there will be a partial curfew in place until mid-April. Feels surreal.
Can't wait for this to be over.
>>
No. 39820
I just watched the last episode of Star Trek Picard. I had tears in the eyes in the end. I lost my hope for the current generation. I thoughts and mind is with Steward. I hope he catches Corona so he can no longer shit in his pants and on his legacy.
>>
No. 39822
>>39820
Generations from now not different than old generations. Just anything that become popular enough switching audience for more stupid now. Add now that "being a """nerd"""" is now fashion among bydlo and get that at 2020 everything from 90s-80s-70s that was popular even a little bit now used as milking tool for bydlo and their kids.
>>
No. 39840
Oh FFS okay so apparently a whole lot of shit has changed since I must've stopped paying attention like a decade or half a decade ago or whatever and I'm not sure where to ask this so
how do I directly email my congressmen and senators?

Because I am positively not playing around with whatever insipid web2.0 iFrames form filling bullshit is on the site and having to copypaste this shit. It is surprisingly difficult to locate the actual email addresses of anybody, particularly congress and the senate who're like ghosts. It's the first time in awhile I got that really crushing feeling where the vestiges of my naivete or murican idealism meet the reality of these people being totally isolated from all the rest of us and not actually functioning as our representatives. I want to CC shit to some people so how do I do that? And no, senator so and so, I'm not bothering with your damn twitter or youtube. Actually speaking of which what is even this new world where I can't find anybody's email address but they're giving out twitter and youtube?

Anyway can any ernst help? I'm not used to it being this hard to locate those kinds of details. I'm probably just going to have to not even bother with it tonight which sucks. Maybe this is also a vestige of the wikileaks era. I'm used to the mentality that I can just find out the contact info of some public representative and send them an email. Or at least call their office, but fat chance that last one's happening with the quarantine.

So how do I track this info down these days? Obviously the who.is won't do shit for this. I can't recall the exact way it's done but I know different offices it's something like paul@senate.gov or media@johnson.senate.gov or whatever. I do know that if I can figure out the one I can figure out how to email anybody else if I ever need to.
>>
No. 39842 Kontra
67 kB, 1344 × 550
ayyyyyyy look at what I just found

What even is this?
>>
No. 39850
>>39822
Nice of you to triple-" nerd. Because nerd must mean brain dead by now. Also thinking about it, could also be my generation (30yo+) to blame. Most likely my generation is at the key points of production of current entertainment. Greed is really a bad excuse to squirt series without cultural value out of the entertainment assembly lines. We should be better than this. Future generations should remember us for something positive.
>>
No. 39864
>>39854
Jealous Nylander detected.

Also the comments, at least on svenska.yle.fi, are not stupid like on the rest of the Internet.
>>
No. 39865
>>39840
>email my congressmen
That's worthless. You need to actually WRITE a LETTER. An e-mail they can delete with a few clicks. A letter they have to physically dispose of. The goal is to annoy the politician into doing what you want.
1000 letter > 10000 e-mails
>>
No. 39868
>>39840
I can't believe Congress is hiding behind webforms instead of direct email. When did that happen? There are some old email address lists floating around out there, but I couldn't find anything recent.
This link is 8 years old, so I know the information used to exist:

https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/lcauz/i_present_to_you_every_us_senators_email_address/
>>
No. 39882
Excellent news! Most beautiful, wonderful, excellent most excellent news! I just found out today that I got my hours slashed to being next to nothing!

Why is this so wonderful? Because that means that afaik I can actually start trying to claim unemployment. Which also means that I don't have to fucking worry constantly about my lungs, kidneys, heart and brain getting raped by a virus on quite as much the same level as before. I'd rather just get fucking laid off for two months and sit back in my apartment while things rapidly escalate across the country and then come out of hiding again once things begin to cool down again like in June or whatever, but hey getting next to no hours is cool too.

Now I just have to file for it....which is going to be the bitch of it because iirc I had some pin set from claiming years ago that I still havent got a fucking clue how to reset it if that problem persists. Which may be a problem just getting fucking qualified as nobody would be in any office and it's pain in the ass enough having to deal with my state gov. But still this news just made me so fabulously fantastically happy today. Now I can I hope to God just get my unemployment gibes and sit back for most of the pandemic rather than having to feel like I'm rolling a d20 against getting lung raped every day and hoping I don't roll a crit.
>>
No. 39883
266 kB, 1600 × 831
>Sitting under the blossoming cherry tree
>Reading
>Sipping on lemonade
>Looking at the dog walking about in the garden
>Writing poetry
This is the life lads. No phone, no e-mails.
Even the neighbours were quiet. At this rate I might be able to get something done.
Surprisingly enough, even the fits of anger and the panic attacks stopped.
The weather is absolutely lovely. Too bad that it's taking a turn for the worse on Monday. I really don't want to go back inside. It's like being deprived of a cure. If that happens, then I might as well work ahead and watch that movie for media class.
At least I still have one last day under the cherry tree. I love that tree. It's spectacle amazes me to no end each spring.

There's a partial curfew in effect until the 11th of April. Basically just the usual stuff, don't go outside unless necessary and so on. The only extra thing is that only +65 years old boomers will be allowed to shop between 9-12 in stores, markets and at the chemist's. Outside this timespan, they're banned from the premises. I wish this would stay in place after Corona. (Though it's a bit counter-intuitive, because they've been told for two weeks to "not leave the house", but they now get an exclusive timespan. Great communication on the part of the government.)
Didn't stop the boomers from walking outside all day. They're just wearing a mask now.
>>
No. 39895
250 kB, 400 × 314, 0:01
Ayy lmao. They just made it so that they can't evict me for 6 months. That means I got 6 months to find a job before I get evicted for not affording my rent lmao.

Also got hassled by the bill for taking a walk, even though there was nobody else outside, let alone within breathing distance. I swear, those cunts are loving this lockdown thing. It gives them way more opportunity to try and big dick people.
>>
No. 39896
>>39895
I can't remember to have read a more Romanian posting than yours ever in my whole life. :DD
>>
No. 39897
>>39896
Not Romanian.
t. stoned Aussie
>>
No. 39898
>>39895
And what held you back those other 23 years.
>>
No. 39899
2,9 MB, 291 × 300, 0:06
>>39898
Wat? It won't be my first job by a long shot if that's what you're implying. It's just that I got sacked because my industry is not viable under present circumstances. Now I have breathing space financially that doesn't necessitate me actually considering prison as a viable way to avoid homelessness. I can afford to let my rent slip while I'm trying to find a new job instead of hemorrhaging savings until I'm completely broke.

Fun fact. It's hard to work from home when you're a manual labourer. My main industry is gone (food), and the processing plants are getting flooded with the runoff. That leaves me having to find a job that's hiring in a situation where the jobs that I know are virtually nonexistent now (worksites are shut down, council maintenance is flooded by other obsolescent labour). Bennies are easier said than done too. I'm looking at least a month before they even see my first paperwork and cennalink isn't known for their efficiency in processing said paperwork. Having the sword of damocles removed has taken a lot of the stress out of my life for the time being.
>>
No. 39900
>>39899
make,sell and deliver pies door to door.
>>
No. 39903
>>39900
  1. Quarantine and lockdown has people being really picky about food and things like that
  2. I live in walking distance of 2 supermarkets, a corner shop and a bakery. All of whom are more reputable than some random faggot selling pies out of his car.
  3. Even assuming all that were to work out, I'm not set up for producing the volume of food I'd need to if I actually wanted to make a profit worth the input of effort.
>>
No. 39906
13 kB, 250 × 250
>>39904
Why yes of course I will visit this sketchy ass link some random Slav posted with no context
>>
No. 39912
195 kB, 675 × 807
holy shit
>>
No. 39914
>>39912
That is meaningless. I am from Hesse and I did not even knew, before his death, that he exists. It is not even news worth Germany wide, I do not understand how that reaches international news. But it is kind of sad that I am governed by nutjobs like this.
>>
No. 39916 Kontra
>>39914
>It is not even news worth Germany wide

It's in the news...
>>
No. 39917
>>39916
Sure, because it is not happening anything besides pandemic right now. A C-class politician committing Sudoku is not worth wide spread news. Nobody cares which might partly be his reason for giving into his insanity.
>>
No. 39918
>>39917
Idk man I think bureaucrats offing themselves in a crisis is pretty newsworthy. If (when) this happens in the US I'll at least glance at the headline.
>>
No. 39920
376 kB, 742 × 1633
388 kB, 828 × 801
2,3 MB, 1264 × 2048
704 kB, 680 × 784
>>39917
It's newsworthy enough that even I in America knew about this way before the other American posted about it here. So, yeah >>39914 you are wrong.

Actually I almost wonder if this is just some sort of stage of grief among people. Like if they think that loudly shouting denials at reality can make the bad thing go away. The implications here of finance ministers killing themselves after learning how bad things truly are is not terribly
>>
No. 39921 Kontra
93 kB, 1200 × 785
179 kB, 1132 × 829
52 kB, 720 × 916
1,2 MB, 1242 × 1675
>>39920
*reassuring
Sorry I forgot a word.
>>
No. 39924
>>39920
>after learning how bad things truly are

It's maybe an indicator but tbh it could very well be a subjective stance why he took is life. I trouble myself and it turns out different than expected, could be the same for him, he just cracked under the information but what will really happen is still not totally clear, it's growing out to be a big problem for the west, yes. Perhaps the global south will be hit hard as well. Anyway, a guy offing himself is not a proof for future dystopia or the fall of the west or a spanish inflenza type death rate. Concerning finance and economics he might have thought that it won't work this time, but why off yourself then? It's not his fault tbh. But there comes in the subjective reasons on offing yourself, which are not "objective" by any means.
>>
No. 39926
I realised that must I know everyone who lives in my building today. I'm surprised that I grew up to be this guy even if I can't remember names for the life of me.

>>39899
How is the agricultural sector shaping up? If there's work it mustn't be too bad with it being Autumn on your side. Probably even the season for setting fire to stuff.

>>39912
You already have a thread for schizophrenia posting:
https://ernstchan.xyz/int/thread/37538
>>
No. 39927
256 kB, 538 × 529
>So, how should I solve the task, you still haven't given me any guidelines
>I told you the guidelines in class (months ago, once) and I don't want to tell you again
I'm starting to think that people are right when they say that teachers are lazy but pedantic fucks 90% of the time, and a whip motivates them much more than a pay raise.
>>
No. 39929
>>39926
They're doing okay since a lot of backpackers fucked off home. I applied for a few jobs outside of where I am (some up to 500km away) but at the same time, a lot of the local kids have either taken up the slack or moved back from the cities to be with family during lockdown measures, so they're not exactly hotbeds of employment activity. I am also on the waiting list for mine employment, but that's been six months so I don't see it getting better any time soon.
>>
No. 39930 Kontra
1,7 MB, 480 × 360, 0:02
>In a few hours, I'll have +10 assignments
>The weather will turn for the worse
In these moments Dostoevsky truly speaks to me, because I want someone to beat me up for how pathetic I am, but just like the underground man, I'm not worth anyone's time.
And even if someone were to actually beat me up, I'd find it revolting and upsetting instead of finding salvation in it. So it's an impossible situation.

I just want this to be over. I want to go and commute every day. I want to be part of a structure again, because right now, I have all the downsides of being part of a structure but none of the benefits, and it's awful.
"Working from home" is a satanist-capitalist concept and should be abolished.
It feels like I'm the only dysfunctional member of the family and my class.
Though if half of the class handed in unsatisfactory work, then I might not be an idiot after all. Or rather I'm as much of an idiot as everybody else. brainlets_consoling_one_another.jpg
>>
No. 39932
Ordered a nintendo switch and Animal Crossing. Haven't bought a video game console in a long time.
>>
No. 39934
>>39903
Go'on make us a pie
>>
No. 39938
>>39932
Nice! Switch was too my first console after Gameboy Color back in the early 00s. Share your friend code here too if you want to play AC together.
>>
No. 39939
I need a new vice.
Cutting vaping felt necessary now with the pandemic as I want my lungs to not be completely fugged the day it hits me.
Now it feels like a fair share of comfiness left my daily routine though, smoking in one form or another has been part of it for 5 years now. I don't have strong cravings, because I already reduced the nicotine I'd put into the e cigarette liquid continually until I had 0mg of nicotine but I miss the feeling.
I already switched to getting and eating nice cookies, but it doesn't completely do the trick. Nicotine is quite uninque in its effect and smoking in its haptics.
I used snuff tobacco back in the days but I'm not sure whether I want to go back to it. It would be nice because it's not something I'd consume all day through but rather twice or thrice a day. And it doesn't fug up my lung functions but still has a little nicotine kick to it.
>>
No. 39941
3,0 MB, 320 × 184, 1:36
>>39934
After conducting serious market research, I have determined that selling homemade pies is not a good idea.
>>
No. 39942
>>39939
>I already switched to getting and eating nice cookies

Look for something else then to get a comfy, a good coffee for example if we want to stay with what has been called a Genussmittel in the past. Smoking, coffee, chocolate etc, all of that has been a seperated from other things as distinctly being a Genuss, afaik it's a German (ethymologic) speciality to call it like this.
>>
No. 39944
>>39939
Since we simple mammals do that what we are rewarded for.
It would be appropriate to do something which releases enough dopamine in sufficient quantities and doesn't injure your body or cost a small fortune.
Exercise it is, or going bonkers to 90's gabber techno.
>>
No. 39946
For my studies I'll have to get into coding, html and css. I know that some of you move in those fields, any tips?
I really don't have a clue about it, like I don't even properly now what it's about. Maybe some youtube videos or short texts that explain the theory behind and the fascination for it?

>>39942
>>39944
I think I'm a bit of a Genussmittel addict. :D Usually after getting up I'd instantly get myself a coffee and a cookie and smoke meanwhile, sort of like the italians do (at least that's what I was told when I've been there).
So I already use coffee and I listen to a lot of music as well.
I got myself some snuff but didn't use it yet, it feels kinda weird now after not using any nicotine for a week or so. Whatever.
>>
No. 39953
132 kB, 640 × 828
Well, I managed to write one "essay" today. Basically it's supposed to be a "battle plan" for the oral exam at the end of grade 12.
This time instead of a skeleton-outline I went for a full on prose-version.
I hope it works.

I actually enjoyed doing the research for this assignment. I had to read poems by Miklós Radnóti and the eclogues of Virgil. I fucking love the hexameter. So much so that my love of the hexameter poisons my speech whenever I read something aloud. My mother keeps telling me that I stress the long-syllables like as if I were chanting.
Radnóti's late poetry is actually great. I care little about his free-verse though.

Strangely enough I haven't received a single e-mail today, nor any notifications for that matter.
Turns out that tomorrow I'm taking a maths test.
Let's hope I don't fuck it up.

I think things are going to be all right. I just needed a little time to adjust I think.
>>
No. 39984 Kontra
40 kB, 400 × 294
can't find a feckin object for the paper to close my BA with. I'm basically reading without any real aim, a weird spiral of cybernetics/systemics, expertization of politics, knowledge society and globalization. The direction is clear in so far that it will be a history of knowledge (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_knowledge). But I don't have any concrete actors or objects to show anything that comes close to a relevant historical change that has been in the shadows so far (and is not just a retold copy of postwar social science discourse). I'm hoping for planetary imaginaries and knowledge of communicationm but welp.
I planned to have it registered by the end of next week. Hopefully I will make it until May.
>>
No. 39994
254 kB, 1280 × 908
Kinda feels like the whole 'rona situation is slowing down, at least in Germany. Or maybe I just got accustomed to it, and now it's just the usual drudgery whereas this felt like a vacation initially. Now that I'm thinking about it, the semester is actually supposed to start in some two weeks or so, I wonder how they'll organize it. Then again, I'm pretty sure I won't complete the Master's degree anyways, maybe change to a different one though the options are limited. Suppose now's not a great time to join the workforce.

Tbh I've actually had a sore throat for two weeks now, seemingly for no reason, but no other symptoms at all, so I guess it's not the 'rona.

I haven't lifted a finger for work in the last two weeks, but my supervisor didn't contact me either and I'm still getting paid. Might be awkward when I'll have to talk to him at some point, but then again I can't really do anything at the moment until I get the confirmation from another department, who announced that their responses will take longer now due to the corona situation. Well, it's just a minijob anyway, I suppose they have more important matters atm.

>>39946
>For my studies I'll have to get into coding, html and css. I know that some of you move in those fields, any tips?
I'm not too experienced myself, but I found it enough to just do the basic tutorials on w3schools (or codecademy, freecodecamp, I'm not sure which is the best anymore)
You probably won't really need much more than that to understand the basics and be able to do some adjustments, since most of the time people work with CMS and templates anyways, unless you're a proper web designer.

>>39939
Tea is pretty good to sip on, but even that doesn't quite come close to nicotine tbh. I feel like vaping isn't that bad for your lungs anyways, though I'm actually not sure. I only know how vastly better it is than cigarettes, though I do miss the taste sometimes. Most vape flavors get really dull for me, even when I cycle through different ones.
But really, I don't want to tempt you, good luck to you since you decided to quit!
>>
No. 40011
>>39994
Most people are bored of it now and want it to be over. It's not "exciting" any more. It's more of a nuisance if anything. A giant paranoia fuelled gamble. "Anyone might be a carrier and anyone might get infected".
>>
No. 40012
>>39946
>>39994

Whats going on here? Bavarian power month?

>>39946
>For my studies I'll have to get into coding, html and css. I know that some of you move in those fields, any tips?

>html and css

Really? What kind of studies are yours? Html and css are pretty self explanatory and I thought that nowadays the kind have it already in the gymnasium.
>>
No. 40017
176 kB, 940 × 528
>>40012
I'm not bavarian, it's just that my ball sometimes. Other users reported to have as well suffered from the fake bavaria ball syndrome in the past, but I guess I'm the one who happens to have it most of the time.

The studies is journalism (in a broader sense including online journalism, PR, content marketing, market analysis and such things, not a pure arts degree at all), so we're getting into the basics of web sciences, web design etc. Barely any of my co-students knew anything about html/css so far, so I guess it's not as widespread as you might think. Also I think usually the people pursuing the degree are not too tech-savvy.
Back at school I think I had two years of computer sciences, but only in class 6 and 8 or so, later on it was only an optional course.
I'm quite amazed though how much I like the topic so far (though the courses are dedicately crafted for people who are not in IT, like journalists or librarians so I guess it's not the whole experience), I've always rather been someone who'd find joy in an old book than any technology but just now I see how those two poles don't have to contradict but rather even complement each other well.

>>39493
How are you doing and how's the paper going? I still wanted to answer you (multiple times, but sadly in the last months I barely even manage to answer my closest friends because I'm always that much up in work - anyways I took a fine dose of kratom now, so I can concentrate on things that I usually wouldn't take myself time for) because you implied I was studying in RLP as well. Well, close - I live in a city located at the Rhine but it's in NRW.
Also I'm finally going to read Baudrillard soon, I remember we wanted to have an EC reading group back in the days but I never found the time. Anyways a friend borrowed me "The Year 2000 Will Not Take Place" and I'm looking forward to get some fresh theoretical air into my head. I wanted to read more theory this year anyways, one aim definitely is tackling Spenglers Decline of the West, but maybe also delving into Walter Benjamin (particularily Das Kunstwerk) again, cause I think that we'll also have some courses about media theory and I wanna be prepared like a pro for it (also my flatmate finally gave it back to me after years :DD). Luhmann's work about mass media interests me as well. Any other recs in the direction of mass media/media theory? (already read Dialectics of Enlightenment roughly 6 years ago but some things still stuck with me, probably gonna re-read the Kulturindustrie chapter for my current purposes though)

Anyways I had a few nice days, mostly spent it preparing for uni or watching uni streams or writing articles (lost all my other jobs, so I gotta live from my online writing only, which I wanted to do anyways but was scared to try it before) and I'm really glad to have started studying again. It's the third time I start studying, but the first time it actually feels good. We're a small course of 60 people, so it's rather like a school class which is extremely comfy - even got elected as one of the class presidents along with some chick, so it's already more exciting than the two times before when I literally got to know no-one of my co-students even after months.
It's a huge irony that while this country is decaying and people are getting killed by a virus everyday (did you see the Vanessa Hudgens video btw? it's hilarious) it's the first time in my life I feel like I'm slowly but steadily getting where I want to be and becoming who I want to be. Got rid of all the pussy drama as well, no girl is pulling me down as well at the moment.
>>
No. 40020
>>40017
Should not be too hard to pick up html and css. There are many resources online for learning these and they are not inherently difficult.
>>
No. 40021
1,2 MB, 184 pages
6,1 MB, 305 pages
2,7 MB, 225 pages
>>40017
>How are you doing and how's the paper going?

The paper on Bernhard has been handed in a week ago, so yeah, it is done.
I'm left with my upcoming BA which I don't have a concrete object I want to deal with >>39984 I will dip into a few essays concerning tech history tonight and tomorrow in a compendium, dealing with globalization and technology, tech-anthropology. Perhaps the latter is a field where I coul find a dedicated object in the 1980s history of the BRD, you never know, history is full of surprises. But it's like with the other post, nothing concrete, just many buzzwords that daze me in their relationship to one another. Just like Konrad I'm on the hunt for the total Zusammenhang, at least a Zusammenhang that is to big for me now and especially to big for a BA paper to handle.
Regarding media theory I'm not versatile enough, I just know that materiality makes a strong turn the last decade or so: Jussi Parikka and Lisa Parks.
If you want to check on what might be really relevant or classic, I would advice you to research a few introductions in english and german via some university library catalog and check the table of contents, usually it's parted in different theories and the persons that engaged in it. I remember reading Dieter Merschs introduction from Junius. LcLuhan, Vilem Flusser and Friedrich Kittler are very prominent and well known early birds of media theory. I actually have a Flusser from 1985 laying around and thought of as s-train reading book. Also since you mentioned Kratom I now think of Kittlers Baggersee a compendium that is a diary more or less IIRC, where Kittler is reflecting stuff during the 60s and 70s including drugs, I only ever read what was available as preview pdf tho.

Sounds good what is happening to you as well. I'm pretty depressed because I cannot find a topic for my BA and corona is minimizing my possibilities of getting pussy close to zero. The chances before were also quite small but at least the opportunities were far greater.
I went over to a friend the other day and his new roommate is kinda cute, but maybe I was just thirsty enough to believe she liked me that much. At least she had to mention she is not in a relationship rn.
>>
No. 40023
1,3 MB, 720 × 747
12 kB, 179 × 263
>>40017
I just dropped some Kratom too, and my gabapentin. My tax rebate just came today and so I'm feeling fine. Quite fine. Very well, in fact I could just outright go and spend a couple hundred dollars and pure nonsense right now and not only it wouldn't even hurt me but because of the impending trumpbux and the rest of my taxesbecause I didn't verify my email so state won't be coming as soon, but it will, and just the state only is equivalent to another solid paycheck whenever I get it it will all add up to not only enough to cover this month's rent which I just paid but together with my current taxes, paycheck, and whenever I get more taxes back with trumpbux I can actually afford to pay off another solid two months of rent and still actually have enough to pay my bills for this month and blow some money and frivolous nonsense.

Meanwhile I am listening to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zowRG45Fk5g after listening to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh4whOM51Dg and a bit of this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMl9g_4CIIQ so yeah I am actually in a pretty fantastic mood today. And I'm still only just eating up my red vein Meng Da which I haven't even touched my emergency stockpile of 8 ounces of green vein. Good mood today. I'm actually come to think of it in a position now to just go and buy like half a key of the stuff from Bikhuk or wherever, which I hadn't even considered because a) even half a kilo of Kratom is still pretty expensive (though admittedly way less than the $40 per 8 ounce I've been paying now because I could neither afford nor rely on a large bulk purchase) and b) because I haven't got the slightest clue about what's going on with international pandemic shipping on top of the FDA acting like utter cunts but you know what ernst? I probably should just go out and try to buy some bulk kratom. Let's see how about maybe I should finally go and try this
http://www.bikhuk.com/p/buy-kratom.html
>All in one - 8 strains Kratom Powder.
>All Bikhuk kratom powder varieties in one shipment, 150 grams/5.3 ounces of each leaf powder and a 5 gram sample of our extract(Prices are incl. worldwide shipping!)
>1.2KG/2.65lbs 149.90USD
Because you know what? Yeah fuck it sure why not. Just because I could theoretically cover my next month rent right this very minute, but I still have a couple bills to pay and besides why the fuck should I be giving all that money to my landlord right now? Yeah. I think I should go and buy kratom. And maybe some gardening bulbs and continue working on my project because I have like three days off right now.

Actually you know what let's talk about Byzantium. Where can I discuss Byzantium? Should I go to the history thread for that? I can't quite figure out why but it's incredibly important for some reason.
>>
No. 40024
>>39938
Sure, I will once I get around to making a nintendo account. Kind of bogged down by school stuff at the moment so I haven't really finished the tutorial yet in Animal Crossing.
>>
No. 40032
i have noticed that I have become too weak, a 10 minutes walk will have me out of breath, I have decided to start exercising.
>>
No. 40036
>>40032
perhaps you've got the rona
>>
No. 40042
>>40036
>>40036
Nah,I have been lazy for a good time now,I can't remember the last time I went to a tun.
>>
No. 40044
65 kB, 570 × 551
>Last week before the shutdowns we all joked about skype classes
>mfw I actually have to reinstall skype in 2020
At least it's some human contact. I also have to install discord for another class.
Things are shaping up to be fun.

I had to write three whole sentences for "lifestyle" class about Good Will Hunting, a movie I haven't seen and don't intend seeing.
But who cares. I accomplished the herculean task by using the plot synopsis on Wikipedia.
This is one of those classes I didn't really bother with when things were normal. I just attended it once and then following that, I just simply went home an hour early to have lunch. A noble goal, in my humble opinion.

So, yesterday I had a siesta and when I woke up, I noticed that I got an F in grammar. So I had to make the essay printer go brrr and send in something to fix the problem.
>Exemplary and good writings, Ernst, a shame that you sent them in on the 1st of April instead of the 27th of March
Yeah, fuckin' exemplary, one I wrote after a shot and the second I just rushed because the fucking alcohol wore off and I was getting angry again.
So my grade was kinda like a stock market. It plunged into the upper Cs from the upper Bs before stabilising in the mid Bs today after an emergency intervention. Seriously, fuck this bullshit.

Today was good at least. Doing some maths.
Walked in the garden a lot. Tomorrow it will be warm enough to sit outside again. Then I'll work on stuff outside if I can, and also I'll read Kawabata's Thousand Cranes. Then I'll move onto Eschenbach's Parzival, because why not.
The worst of the hurdle is I think over. Well, at least the random bouts of anger and crying stopped.

Had a shot of espresso and some cake. Things are returning to semi-normal. I want this bloody thing to be over.

>>40012
>I thought that nowadays the kind have it already in the gymnasium.
Idk how they do it in Germany, but here both programming and web-development education boils down to the very basics, so much so that when we learned web-development, it was like 3-4 classes tops and we didn't even do it in HTML but rather using a graphic Mozilla designer tool called Compozer if I remember correctly. You could make some fancy Web2.0 sites with it, but nothing more.
Programming was C# and we didn't go beyond the basics, only developing 3 programmes slightly more complicated than "Hello world!".
It's a joke and worthless.
>>
No. 40049
973 kB, 1598 × 2000
Reading the plea for a historical tech-anthropolgy was quite helpful I'd say for now. What human-machine relation should I scrutinze regarding what effect it had on how humans understood themselves. It's either computer based technology or biotechnology as big fields of the late 20th. century.

Historical tech-anthropology is not interested in how technological change came into being but how being human which means what was understood and ascribed as human changed in the advent of (new) technologies. Its premise is that both human and machine are relationally constituted and therefore contigent.

What's more? I was getting pushed towards jungle/hardcore/DnB the other weeks, since the head of Urbanomic book publisher plays such music during is corona podcasts where theorists and people interested in it call in from around the world (italy, australia, uk, us, germany etc) via messenger and talk, excerpts from books are read etc. last time some Ballard short stories were read, with atmospheric backround music and such. It's made with love.
So I went through some old 90s jungle and hardcore stuff and just yesterday found out there is a revival going right now.

For instance:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAc6BTNg-hM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pjy5pBckMHM

>>40044
I got an email for the first seminar I might attend in order to get some credits, because I'm too paralyzed writing an essay for a seminar where I drank beer with the lecturer and every idea feels like nothing is to gain from it, writing about aesthetics is quite difficult. Well, the new seminar which could provide the missing credits will be done via Zoom. Anybody know how it works, do I need a software or can it be handled online completely?
I'm curious to see how it will be but then again the distance is akward and painful in a sense.

>Things are returning to semi-normal. I want this bloody thing to be over.

I suspect you mean the corona? Yes and same. One adapts quickly but it feels shitty nonetheless.
>>
No. 40051
>>40049
>I'm curious to see how it will be but then again the distance is awkward and painful in a sense.
Because, to put it in RPG terms, the Charisma stat was completely removed from the game. Your personal relations and sway with people is no longer as valuable when you're not interacting on a daily basis in person. Everything becomes impersonal, as you turn into a name on a paper and your educator turns into a mail address that spews tasks at you from time to time.

>One adapts quickly but it feels shitty nonetheless.
I wasn't quick to adapt at all, and it was really painful.
I wonder how this will effect the grade average and the university entrance exams. I suppose the grade average will rise, but the maturas will be weaker.
>>
No. 40083
>>40049
Zoom is easy to use, no worries. Just download the program and install it and follow the link you'll be sent.
It's quite stable and easy to use and only the inviter (usuallytl the lecturer) has to pay for it - jist entering a conference is free.
>>
No. 40088 Kontra
>>40083
>Zoom
>>/fefe/26258
>>
No. 40103 Kontra
84 kB, 1200 × 640
>>40097
Meh. I don't understand why they are not using hangouts or classroom, but whatevs.

I got a new bookshelve and while I put the books back, I counted them. I have 355 books, I wonder what an e-penis that would get me on goodreads. I guess a quarter is unread which makes it about 266 more or less read books over the course of approx. 10 years. Given that I had university I could imagine that I've read the amount of 50-100 books all in all in addition. I guess the real boost came within the last years, I remember 4-5 years ago when it have been 150 books or so.

Funfact: I found Gaddafis Green book among my staples :DDD
>>
No. 40105
>>40103
That's a lot of books! My book hoarding ways changed after I finally bought an e-reader 6 months ago. Now the hoard is epubs and pdfs that take less floor space. Best purchase of the last decade, can recommend.

I have also gotten more used to the corona situation, no bouts of random crying and panic attacks but the worry is still there. Our health institute informed that at worst 60% of the population will get infected in the first wave, I just hope my elderly relatives are not among those: Father in particular can't handle influenza let alone the plague that is tormenting us currently.
>>
No. 40107
23 kB, 489 × 348
>Join discord server for class
>Doge and anime profile pictures
There you have it! That peculiar feel of "kill me, but I can't wait to jump into this ironic cancerpool"
I love it. The future is now, lads, the future is now!

Tomorrow's the weekend. So I guess I can finally start reading. Yesterday I read two chapters from Thousand Cranes before bed. It was really refreshing.
You guys ever feel weird when you pick up a book that has "Modern/Contemporary XY" as a title but is actually quite old?
I'm reading Thousand Cranes as part of an anthology titled Modern Japanese Writers, and it amuses me for some reason that it was published more than 60 years ago and is no longer cutting edge.

I'm still not sure if we're living through an extraordinary event right now. Though I heard some say that this is the "most important global event since the Second World War"
Old people say it feels a tad bit like we're back in 1945 with the schools closed and all that jazz.

>>40105
>>40103
I have a bigger e-benis because I have a collection of 650 volumes :DD
Though it's still miniscule compared to what I heard some people have. The 2-3 "literatis" I know have around 2-3k volumes after a lifetime of collecting.

>>40103
>Meh. I don't understand why they are not using hangouts or classroom, but whatevs.
Well, nobody knows what to do. Nothing is centralised. I have a class on discord, one on skype, three use google classroom, and one uses redmenta for exams, whatever the fuck that is.
Nobody ever had an emergency plan for this, and the teachers weren't trained to work using these tools, so everyone just throwing shit at the wall ad-hoc to see what sticks.
People are talking about how this year is going to revolutionise education method on a large scale. There is much to be learned from this.

>>40105
>e-reader
I never cared much for mine besides when I wanted to read something that is short but ridiculously expensive or hard to get. Second hand books are so cheap and so abundant, it's almost scary.
>>
No. 40111
>>40107
>Though it's still miniscule compared to what I heard some people have. The 2-3 "literatis" I know have around 2-3k volumes after a lifetime of collecting

The thing is I try to avoid buying books as much as I can when I know I won't read them in the near future. In the last two years tho I bought way more books than I can read, I guess half or a bit less is unread. In any case I buy some books just to have them as they are classics and I want to read them at some point. Yet the more unread books I have I get a panicking feeling sometimes.

>>40105
I have around 800 pdfs :DDDD the hoarding gets even worse when you just need a few clicks to own a book immediately. But then you don't have to carry them around, worst case is moving your shit to another flat. Otherwise I prefer ordinary books: haptics, materiality etc.
>>
No. 40112
>>40111
I buy every book I can when I find them cheap, because it saves a lot of money and trouble in the long run if I buy it on the street for 1-2 euros instead of having to order it at an antiquary for 4-5-6 euros (that is, if they have a copy at a reasonable price at all.)
>>
No. 40115
>>40107
>I have a bigger e-benis because I have a collection of 650 volumes :DD
What kind of books, the classics? E-reader is perfect for technical books and uni reading material, if you study STEM that is.

>>40111
>But then you don't have to carry them around, worst case is moving your shit to another flat
My sister, a reliable, nice girl that has helped me move every single time upto now, has PTSD from the "small but heavy boxes of books".
>>
No. 40121
>>40115
>What kind of books, the classics?
Well it's mostly classical literature, secondary literature on the classics and some history and philosophy books.
Roughly a fifth is Chinese and Japanese works.(The two things I'm proud of in my collection is my catalogue of Asian works and my "shelf of epics" where I collected every epic I could get my hands on so far. It's still missing quite a few volumes I haven't been able to find or get a copy of at a reasonable price.)
The pulpiest thing I own is Lovecraft probably.

I never bought anything just because it was cheap. Amassing these books was a result of years of cultivation and selection. People who go
>hurr hurr every book is a book
are wrong. Some books ARE better than others. Not all books are worth saving or reading.
>>
No. 40126
a prominent young computational biologist at johns hopkins evidently just died from covid
>>
No. 40147
398 kB, 1560 × 2150
>>40107
>I'm still not sure if we're living through an extraordinary event right now.

British media has been spamming 'unprecedented' for the past decade to the point where the term has now lost all meaning. Truly we live in unprecedented times.

>>40126
k
>>
No. 40151
Posting while working. Back to work
>>
No. 40161
54 kB, 365 × 480
Today was a really good day. The weather was beautiful, so I sat outside and read aplenty. Even the neighbours were quite most of the time. It was really tranquil.
There is simply nothing better than going outside, reading and eating the last slice of Donauwelle with a mug of hot cocoa as the birds chirp atop the cherry tree.

Though it's a bit unsettling to hear the neighbours cough over the garden walls. Is it the corona-plague, is it just a normal flu?

I've decided that the next time I shave, I'm going to keep my moustache. If I'm not leaving the house, I might as well experiment a bit with different looks without embarrassing myself.
I'm going for the Petőfi-look.
>>
No. 40171
>>40161
There's something about the curvature of the expression of that man's mouth coupled with the moustache and the eyes that instantly fills me with admiration and respect and I don't know why. Good painting.
>>
No. 40211
NJ governor is publicly pleading for cobol devs to contact him because the state unemployment system is fucked lol
>>
No. 40233
>>40211
How'd they manage to fuck it? I would've figured they just have to deal with not unintentionally DDoSing the servers from so many people but
Oh. Did they try revamping the site or something with people didn't know what they're doing which irrevocably busted it?
>>
No. 40234
>>40233
I think it's the unprecedented volume of applicants
>>
No. 40235
>>40234
But why would you actually need a dev for that? Wouldn't the increased volume just cause server strain and nothing else?
>>
No. 40236
>>40235
yeah idk
>>
No. 40254
240 kB, 2478 × 1252
So I've decided today that I'm just going to build myself a birdbox. I already pretty much figured that maybe I'll just build a nesting box for them rather than buy a cheap ass $5-6 box when I was at Walmart but sitting her on my smoking box/stool outside I've pretty much figured out exactly how I'm going to do it with the spare wood I've already got. I'm just not sure how to go about it without having to buy more stain and polyurethane because fuck going to Walmart again. Wood working is incredibly addictive. Ron Swanson is right.

The thing is I also finally just unboxed my microwave and jigsaw I bought at Walmart the other day which is why I now know exactly how I'm going to do it because fuck working with my circular saw for this or ever again unless I absolutely have to for some heavy duty project, like the 2ft stand I'm probably going to build for my one last unused tank after getting both my 3ft goldfish tank and 4ft community tank stands setup. I could just buy a shelf but why? Fuck it this will actually look nicer and it fits exactly in an open spot between the 30g and my metal stand.

I used my jigsaw today to cut apart a bunch of weathered branches I found in the woods which I've been meaning to deal with for like an entire month now. My landlord was getting incredibly bitchy about me having stuff in front of my apt, which I know some faggot boomer neighbor called in because I could hear the twat talking on the phone and using the phrase "yeah mumble plastic" I forget the phrasing but I could hear that potbellied boomer talking about my dropsheet. Seriously? You're not in a HOA you fat cunt. But anyway I finally got around to cutting up those branches and I'm boiling them in my stove right now. I don't know how long this is going to take or even if I can still use them but I'm hoping I can turn a bunch of forest branches into driftwood, which is incredibly expensive and impossible to find anywhere near me and even if I did it'd probably be polluted, and it's not even in stores except like a pathetically small piece of wood for $12 in Petsmart so I just said fuck it and I'm going to DIY that too. I'm just incredibly nervous about how polluting, prone to rot, or otherwise unsafe or unusable it could be for my fish.

Meanwhile my next couple of projects are a pirdbox and setting up my hundred dollars worth of aquatic plants which is probably going to be across three tanks, including my Bolivian Ram breeder/fry tank, my 10g Pea Puffer tank, and my 55g community. Which leaves me lots of fun projects to do today and tomorrow with time for Dead Space and shitposting in between now that I've got the mousefix patch it has gone from annoying and hard as balls on medium to being incredibly easy on impossible

Here's a not terribly interesting article on guppy mating strategies
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC27698/#!po=1.42857
I can understand why Germans are so autistic about it but I have yet to understand why the other two nationalities that make up the overwhelming bulk of guppy genetics and breeding are Russian and Japanese.
>>
No. 40256
Today I worked in the garden. We cut down a tree and a rose-bush with my father.
I felt a bit bad about cutting down the tree and the bush, so I decided to try making some saplings using some fresh sprouts I took from some of the branches. I put them in small glass vases and now I'm hoping for the best.

Whenever I amateurishly try something new like this, I feel like I'm an ancient man. I don't know what I'm doing exactly, I just have an idea and an end goal. So I have tons of faith and hope in me. Like doctor in ancient Greece or China. It's like experiencing the development of civilization on a personal scale.

Got some schoolwork back after a week again. My history essays turned out fine. Lost 1-2 points, but it's negligible. Mainly I struggled with staying on topic and not going over the line limit, which is really hard when a topic like communism or the USSR comes up.

I noticed that now that I write my journal entries in an A/4 sized notebook instead of an A/5 size one, my prose has become more complex, not just because my sentences are longer, but also because on average, there are more sentences per paragraph than in my previous notebooks.

Tomorrow I'm going to do some schoolwork and then I'll flip a coin and pick a new book to read. It'll either be Parzival or People of the Puszta.

>>40171
Well, you are looking at a painting of the prominent poet, republican and freedom fighter Sándor Petőfi, a man who not only wrote about fighting for freedom, but literally died for the cause he believed in and wrote about.
So yes, what you're feeling is completely normal.
>>
No. 40257
Hey I just took a bunch of videos many short clips because idk how big a file a 10 minute video would be and being EC tier I am well aware of how boring as shit and tedious it can be telling somebody about your hobbies but would ernst be interested in actually looking at my fish? also it just occured to me idk how to hide metadata in a video
>>
No. 40258
>>40256
>I noticed that now that I write my journal entries in an A/4 sized notebook instead of an A/5 size one, my prose has become more complex
That's an interesting phenomenon, maybe your eyes see all that extra space and it frees your mind to really let the words flow. My handwriting changes based on the paper size, and based on the line spacing-it gets very rounded and expressive with wide lines-but the content,as far as I can tell, is unaffected.
Good luck with the saplings. I'm currently drying out a pineapple top, and will put that into a pot to see if it grows.

>>40257
>would ernst be interested in actually looking at my fish?
Absolutely, I'd love to see them.
As for removing meta data, I use Windows 10 which has an option to do that, but I don't know how to do it on other operating systems.
>>
No. 40282
8,1 MB, 498 × 281, 0:05
>Spend most of the day outside reading and preparing for an essay I'm going to write tomorrow
>Have a great time generally
>Log onto facebook because people in the class chat won't tell me why "we only have the first three periods" tomorrow
>Apparently I was supposed to fill out a handout by 20:00
>Check time
>20:30
Why can't people just write a fucking e-mail or write it into the fucking digital notification system everyone uses because it's state mandated?
>>
No. 40285
What I didn't expect before I moved to Central London was how surreal the location becomes once everyone has left work. If you go along some of the mews it's like a country village surrounded by a bright metropolis. It makes for an interesting walk along the Thames - I think this video for captures it somewhat it's south of the river close to Tate Modern - okay spot for a romantic stroll.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-L7Cadb-c0

Now with Coronavirus keeping all but the exercisers off the streets it's especially empty - if walk down Horseguards Road around the back of the PMs house and it's dark and deserted. What brought my introspection on was thinking to myself 'I'll probably never live to see it like this again'. It's a strange thing to reflect upon, like I should feel something much more strongly than I do but it's just social convention to feel something - like graduating university, new years etc.

>>40256
>Mainly I struggled with staying on topic and not going over the line limit

I know that feel.
>>
No. 40288
>>40282
Are you still in school? I'm telling you this gets worse at university.
I've had my share of problems for not using facebook, whatsapp, twitter, etc whenever it comes to working in groups. Luckily I've managed to build a bit of prestige for myself and now people are willing to go the extra mile and USE E-MAIL just to contact me.
>>
No. 40289
>>40282
Shit just is like this.
I'm happy that I don't have to use facebook, but I also positively have to use:
eMail, WhatsApp, Telegramm, Threema, Zoom, Skype, Discord, Hangouts last but not least Telephone.

>>40288
Few friends of mine also insist in using SMS and eMail only, but since the latest happenings they at least have to use Discord.
>>
No. 40303
1,8 MB, 1936 × 2592
1,5 MB, 1936 × 2592
>>40285
I've found myself wondering 'how should I feel about all of this?'. My initial reaction was that same persistent awareness of the surreal-but even that has faded somewhat. And I've yet to have a truly deep emotional response. Previously, I would have thought that experiencing rare events would elicit rare emotions-like awe, wonder, and fear rolled up into one or something- but it hasn't. My strongest reaction thus far has been worry for older family.

I didn't mind that they chained this basketball net shut-I didn't have a ball anyway-but I probably would have done some chin-ups if it weren't for that sign. They didn't put chains on that or anything, but I had to respect their wishes
>>
No. 40308
194 kB, 620 × 620
Got some paperwork from my old boss that let me get some fasttracked bennies. Been using that to pay my expenses and the leftover has gone into sauce.

Got to love how being a stay at home alcoholic on the dole is now socially acceptable. I hope this virus shit never goes away tbh. Getting pissed at the taxpayer's expense is ebin.
t. drinker of cheap rum
>>
No. 40311
102 kB, 746 × 500
>mfw every day I have an argument about the coronavirus with my father and it's the same shit every single time

Anyway, I couldn't think straight most of the day and I only wrote half a page and my deadline is in 4 hours. The poem I have to write about is fucking excellent.
The problem is that I have to compare it to two other poems. One is the original source and the other is a paraphrase of the original source like this one. But while on the surface, they're related because of the similar phrasing, they actually have little in common when it comes to topics and themes.

I started writing a short story. I got the idea right after going to bed. My main issue with creative writing is that I usually come up with a good closing quip, and a starting scenario, but I have no idea how to connect them in a meaningful manner because they're too close to each other. That's why most of my short stories are half a page long like the ones I translated from István Örkény.
The title of the story is "Austria-Hungary 2020", and if I finish it, I'm going to translate it into English and post it here, so I don't want to spoil too much.

Tomorrow I'm going to leave the house to go the city by car to submit my community service notebook so that if the matura takes place, I'm actually allowed to take it. (If you don't have 40 hours of community service on your record, you aren't allowed to take the exam.)
Nobody fucking knows how the maturas will take place. 100k students are waiting for an answer. Absolute madness.
>>
No. 40313
Fucking Petsmart. I fucking HATE fuckng petsmart. I hate petsmart so fucking g9ddamned much.

I wasn't even planning to go anywhere this week but I ended up just getting back from a major supply run because fuck it iIhad to go out anyway so might as well buy all the shit I was planning on buying. Why you may ask? Because my fucking fish have a fucking Ich infestation.

I fucking KNEW some shit could go wrong. Ich isn't even supposed to survive for more than several days and I bought 3 aponegoton bulbs. These unlike all the other plants weren't tissue cultured so I'm assuming it came from that. I was so damn careful too. As I write this it has occurred to me that leaving a sickly fry in there not long after I bought them may have been the problem. I left the baby guppy to test the waters. Well I assumed that it had been enough time no fish contact and nothing should be wrong. I was not expecting ich.

For those who don't know ich is a parasite kind of like ticks for fish. It's a crustacean like creature that attaches to them and rapidly infests and kills the fish. I just noticed some white spots on one guppy and looking in my main tank now there's several on my bettas.

The biggest problem in all that is I'm afraid to use different medications because it can kill my nitrogen cycle bacteria and/or wipe out all my plants. So that's why I had to go out to plagueville aka Wally's world and it was all due to fucking Petsmart having worse goddamn fucking hygiene than a medieval village. I have never not even fucking once bought anything there without getting some kind of contagion, which I try to but sometimes fail to contain. I figured at least I'd had those bulbs for long enough to ascertain whether
Oh god. I think I may have made contact with my puffer fish. FUCK. I don't even know at this point which fucking tanks may be totally contaminated because I wrongly assumed the plants were all safe. I planted nothing for days. FUCK. Fuck this I'm going to finish my decontamination by taking a shower. I fucking hate petsmart so goddamned much.
>>
No. 40386
25 kB, 202 × 150
>Have things to do
>Browse Ernst, KC and 4Kanker instead
>Nothing good, look for hours
>Go to bed
>Wake up
>Rinse and repeat
Why is it that I don't mind doing things that I need to, but I always end up doing boring things that I don't really like doing anyway and am dissatisfied with myself for doing in the long run?
>>
No. 40394
>>40386
Quit the internet. I've noticed the exorbitant amount of time I waste on shitholes online. This is the sole site I actually don't feel like I'm ruining my life using.

I've actually gotten a hell of a lot done lately. I even managed to make a birdhouse out of some lumber scraps. It's shitty but it only took me an afternoon to make and the materials really were garbage for this project. I couldn't drive a straight nail because it was nothing but backboard. Next time I'm going to build a birdhouse, a bird feeder, and I think a couple of other things like a cabinet, shelves, a chair or stool, and a small table or nightstand. I've done so many little projects lately it's great and now I have a pretty solid plan on how to do projects throughout the whole spring.

>>40308
I too know these feels lad, although minus the sauce because booze and internet are serious time killers. I'd much rather accomplish things at this stage in my life than sit around wasted shitposting online like I ruined a considerable amount of my 20s.

It's great. Now all I have to do is get on unemployment. It only just occurred to me tonight that this will actually end and I might even end up busy over the summer. Which isn't something very cool to say considering my countrymen and people around the world are dying, but I too hope this keeps going. I have got so much free time now and things to actually do with my free time and on top of that I've actually felt even greater financial security now than usual. It's probably going to be when everything starts returning to normal again that financially fucks me. Oh lawd I'm just lying here on my bed and getting all excited now about all the vidya I can get to play.

Well provided I don't get sick anyway. I could still end up dead a month from now. But oh well.
>>
No. 40397 Kontra
>>40386
Chans are easy. Younger people have Tiktok to waste their time. You just swipe and click and use your eyes and sometimes ears. There is no need to think much. Also perfect for procrastination and at the end of the day it feels worse since the shit you had to actually do is still unsolved, again.
>>
No. 40398
>>40397
How do we solve that?
>>
No. 40401
>>40398
Though I am not quite sure to what you refer as needing to be "solved" the problem remains the same and thus the solution elusive. What you intend to fix is human nature and that cannot be fixed. Any system which relies upon anything but reality is doomed to fail. I just came here from reading about Glycon which was only referenced because of the Antonian plague from something I was watching https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glycon

These people are peasants, and they will forever ascribe magical qualities to drinking their own urine and fashioning idols out of dung. They will do these things even in the most highly technical of societies and your only saving grace is praying that you have a sufficient enough capacity of expertise in your leadership caste to steer the direction of society as a whole and proper allocation of resources while hoping that base human instinct and nepotism has not yet corrupted it beyond the point of salvage, as has typically happened in every single aristocratic or imperial or even many Capitalist societies with inherited wealth, for it soon becomes the matter of whims of personalities and interrelations between people rather than upon any value of merit, scholasticism, intellect, nor expertise; but perhaps more importantly is the falsehood that station in life and titles confers the prestige and not the other way around--for it is just as easily done that a one eyed man might trick a crowd of the blind with a snake puppet, or he himself be blind with none to point out that using clippings from a dead man's skull and drinking arsenic is not, in fact, a medically viable treatment for plague.

The problem with these people is that what you're asking of them is to alter their very nature, which is not just misguided but downright cruel in the way that it is to ask someone thoroughly EC tier to go clubbing rather than reading ancient poetry or engineering something or whatever it is he is up to, for their native capacities will forever render them incapable of the task, expose their own inferiority to themselves and others in the task at hand, and all around lead to inferior product of labor at best with psychic suffering to boot.

The greatest qualities of leadership are not in telling others what to do as the peasants imagine, but rather the proper delegation of duties, the most efficient allotment of resources, and heeding the wisdom of his councils on matters of which he knows little or nothing or, perhaps better, in seeking council that is contrary to his own thorough expertise.

Now I ask you, what does much of any of this have to do with such persons? Very little. Moreover it could be called a specious accusation that anyone is wasting time if they are in fact forming or strengthening social bonds, which arguably serves a greater advantage to their orgasm than anything which we might be up to particularly the rote memorization of trivia. It is dependent on one's objectives such that any one activity may be as useless to another as tits on a pig, to use the American saying.

I lastly think it worth pointing out that among our ancestors the overwhelming majority were illiterate. While literacy rates have gone up to close to 99% in the majority of countries there is still a sense in which they are merely aping learned men. Can it be taught? Certainly. But of what value is it truly? For while a whole generation can be taught to read and write I am rather incredulous that these sons and daughters of peasants are ever going to become real intellectuals or to change their nature, insofar as the grubby mercantilist or the brutish tyrant are ever going to change theirs, and that the whole of the organization of human endeavor seldom changes much beyond a rotating cast of which sort of persons is left in charge of organizing the national activity.

So then let them use tiktok so long as it is with friends and not camwhoring, and let shitposters shitpost so long as it distracts them from being truly disruptive to the body politic, but provide some means for those of poor economic or social or intellectual ability, or of the greater intellectual ability, to not waste their time as much. Such a thing does exist, such as EC, to funnel out a certain sort, and vierkanal, to distract the idiot masses with puppet shows, and video streaming for scarlet women to engage in that which they do without spreading VD. The problem is in a moral, social, and economic structure like Capitalism whose sole preoccupation is making money rather than serving the interests of society.
>>
No. 40403
>>40398
we don't

t. knower
>>
No. 40405
>>40398
Realizing a form of self discipline. How? I don't know. I quit chans besides EC tho. It's disgust in the end that drove me away.
>>
No. 40407
Is it just me or has the posting speed of ernstchan.xyz ballooned? I remember when there would only be 1-2 posts per day.
I actually liked the slow posting speed as I would only have to check once per day to get my imageboard fix.
I hope it doesn't become as fast as .com did.
>>
No. 40408
>>40407
The board has seemed a bit faster, but I don't mind since we still have the same comfortable EC feel. I don't think we'll become as fast as .com anytime soon, since that was fueled by KC going down.
>>
No. 40409
A good moan is an essential part of the human experience in my opinion. I've noticed this where I have the capacity to just go off and do what interests me but I still get mad about having to work and procrastinate. It's trite to say but Camus is wrong, one must imagine Sisyphus cursing about that boulder the whole time.

The conundrum of >>40386 is relatable to everyone I think. The internet eats time like nobodies business but there's a million other ways to waste time. Hence why so many people are having trouble working from home at the moment.

>>40407
There's this thing called coronavirus that is keeping everyone inside. It's like we've all been put under house arrest only most of us must also work from home and the streets have been taken over by joggers.
>>
No. 40411
280 kB
>>40386
Read this book. The author's basic argument is that the way humans think has been shaped by technologies we've invented like alphabets, the map, the clock, and the book. The book encouraged a kind of deep, contemplative, and imaginative thinking that had an immensely positive effect on human society (especially after the printing press was invented), but it is now being supplanted by computers and the internet, which encourage a kind of scatter-brained, unfocused mode of thinking by their very design.

You had the same problem before with TV, radio, videogames, etc but to nowhere near the same extent because none of them could display text the same way computers can, so none of them could replace books.

Since reading it a week ago I think I must've spent a sum total of 20 minutes on chans, down from probably 8+ hours a day of endless F5'ing in one window while watching something else in another.
>>
No. 40420
>>40411
I won't read the book since I just started Marx hoping to stay on that but the relationship of technology and humans is currently pressing issue in my mind I want to deal with in my university work.
The thing is, a computer (smartphone or stationary/laptop) contains all older media in a certain way. It's a TV, Radio, Picture(s) and a book/newspaper. Tho the design of the computer might alter the experience, has a different logic grafting all the media it contains. The problem might the infinite possibilities that are at hand with a computer. The computer is a great accelerator in that demand, it shrinks time and space. Still I have no quick explanation at hand why this turns people into chan dwellers that leave everything else unresolved. It might also be a compensation machine for the new ways of living that fuck with peoples lives and minds.
>>
No. 40422 Kontra
>>40420

Tho I want to correct. The computer is one object in the row of modern communication technologies which shrink time and space.
>>
No. 40424
67 kB, 720 × 400
My Dad was in hispital and seen shoot of islamic terrorist live out of window.
>>
No. 40425
3,0 MB, 640 × 640, 0:25
>>
No. 40426
I managed to waste most of my first bank holiday playing HOI. I'd uninstalled these games precisely because the moment I get any free time I waste it playing games that brake due to complexity after a few hours.

Now I'm trying to think of something else to do with the rest of the day but besides my state mandated exercise I'm drawing a blank. They should've moved the Easter weekend, I think I'd rather work now.

>>40424
Did this happen today? The last news I heard on terrorism was ISIS calling off all attacks on Europe because of coronavirus.
>>
No. 40427
>>40426
It happened around April 4th day.
>>
No. 40429
>>40426
>ISIS calling off all attacks on Europe because of coronavirus.
What the fucking shit, why the hell would they even do that? Theyve never shown mercy and restraint about anything before, and if infection is the worry Muhammed seemed pretty clear about the easiest other pathway to martyrdom and Jannah is dying in a plague afaik. Is there some kind of obscure Sura those shitheads are following about don't attack your enemies when they are beset by plague or what?
>>
No. 40431
>>40429
There are fewer crowded areas that are easy targets now that lockdowns are coming into effect. A lot harder to get the same effect if you need to get into guarded areas like hospitals instead of just running your truck onto the footpath. Save your resources and use them. Sure they're expendable troops for them, but they've still got to replace them once they've been locked up or killed. Better to use those resources to good effect later than lesser effect now.
>>
No. 40432
>>40429
ISIS isn't really existing anymore (apart from a few guys in the middle of the desert), so I guess it just an attempt to make headlines while making fun of kuffars in the west.
>>
No. 40433
>>40432
t. expert
>>
No. 40438
All this talk of terror reminds me of talking to a colleague from NI recently. She had Sinn Fein turn up at her door during the regional elections because they knew her teenage daughter hadn't yet voted and demanded an explanation from her. Cue an awkward conversation with her reluctant daughter that, it didn't matter who she voted for, but she needed to have her name ticked off at the polling station or the whole family would have their lives made very difficult.

Normally it makes sense for parties to check off who has voted to avoid shenanigans. What happens in Northern Ireland is that they pay attention to the surnames and makes sure that "their" community goes out and votes on top of that.

>>40429
They called it off not long back for HR reasons. 'elf and safety gone bloomin' mad if you ask me.
https://www.politico.eu/article/coronavirus-isis-terrorists-europe/

Although, I did a quick google and the war on terror ceasefire was cancelled as-of Tuesday. Guess things are returning to normal.

>>40432
ISIS just has a stronger foothold in Africa these days where they have ironically had splits for not being hardcore enough. Must be easier being a terrorist in places the western public don't care about.
>>
No. 40439
295 kB, 620 × 588
105 kB, 566 × 783
74 kB, 720 × 714
>>40438
Well did she vote?
>>
No. 40440
2,7 MB, 1920 × 1080
541 kB, 1600 × 900
I went outside, wrote a diary entry, had some tea and biscuits and then came in because I realised that it's too windy to read outside.

Yesterday night I found out that they started releasing Romance of the Three Kingdoms in Hungarian, and that the first out of three planned volumes was published last year.
I'm really excited, but every bookstore closed, and I can't buy a copy, and even if the bookstores were open, I wouldn't be able to come up with a reason to my mother who forced a bunch of austerity measures on me in case shit truly hits the fan.
So I have yet another reason to yearn for the end of the pandemic. That and the fact I don't want to potentially cough up my own lungs in tiny pieces.

I'm going to try getting my sleep schedule fixed. I constantly go to bed one or two hours after midnight, and I can't seem to be able to sleep properly, because my eyes pop open at 10:10 for some reason even without setting an alarm.
Though today I woke up at seven after six hours of sleep for some reason.

They're only going to hold written matura exams this year, which essentially halves my tasks, because I don't have to prepare 50 mini-essays for the oral exams.

>>40426
>I managed to waste most of my first bank holiday playing HOI
I wasted the entire day on playing HoI too :D
>>
No. 40448
Trigger warning for degrading kein-things: I'm starting to lose my marbles from no sex. There's going to be apocalyptic levels of bonking going on once social distancing is over let me tell you. Make note of this as I think everyone is going to be looking to scratch an itch.

I downloaded a dating app today because I was bored and wanted to see what was going on. There I find girl with a photo of her in the buff and start to consider whether the risk of a fine is worth it. Fortunately, nope she just wants to dick about online and share her crossword. I'm not a monster but I'm not made of wood either.

The WHO needs to start thinking about how needs can be fulfilled because there's no way you can keep this going.

>>40439
Yes but who knows what she did in the polling booth. I can't imagine forcing a teenager to vote is going to win a tick in the right box. The younger generation already have a 'neither' conception when it comes to community identity politics.

>>40440
>I'm going to try getting my sleep schedule fixed. I constantly go to bed one or two hours after midnight, and I can't seem to be able to sleep properly, because my eyes pop open at 10:10 for some reason even without setting an alarm.

Get a sleeping app - I've been using Sleep as Android and it helps. Mostly because there's a score to keep and it gets mad at you for bad sleeping habits. Oh dear, I'm being told what to do by a clock.

>I wasted the entire day on playing HoI too :D

Doesn't the engineer bonus only apply if you specialise all the units in the stack?
>>
No. 40452
>>40438
That's funny.
I know a couple of guys who fought isis, they told me most of them were drugged, you'd shoot on of them and he would continue running like nothing happened, but they were too fearfull, if you fought one who isn't drugged you'd see how much fearful he is, all the brainwashing they got didn't work as it seems.
The real threat tho (at least to Lebanon) was al-Nousra front, they were fearless monsters who would rip through Isis areas effortlessly, but they didn't get much western attention because Isis got the headlines.
>>
No. 40456
>>40452
Do you think Lebanon will ever again be a cosmopolitan country full of religious and ethnic minorities like Druze, Copts, Jews, other Christians etc or are those days long gone not to return again?
>>
No. 40457
>>40456
We still have them, they are actually increasing in number, Lebanon is now perfectly safe, I just read an article from cnn that American nationals in Lebanon refused the offer to go back to USA because they felt safer here.
That said the only issue we have now is financial, if we were able to get through that I have no doubt we will become like we were in the 60s
>>
No. 40479
Yep, I've officially lost track of time, like the good old uni days. Weekend feels like nothing special and I have barely stepped outside in 2 weeks. The days are filled with aimless lurking and TV series. Hope this quarantine is soon over, I will lose my mind in another 2 weeks.
>>
No. 40486
888 kB, 491 × 792
>One neighbour is using a chainsaw
>The second one is grilling and blasting dadrock while shouting with the kids and the missus
>Third is mowing the lawn
>Pic related
The only thing I managed to do while outside was writing a short poem, a diary entry and reading half of an essay on Mishima.

Honestly I don't know what's going on. Days just seem to pass randomly without much happening.
I don't have much to do besides making a powerpoint slideshow for biology class, so I might as well try finish reading that essay.
>>
No. 40488
29 kB, 400 × 334
>>40486
Sorry, commieblocks is our fault.
t.another commieblock sufferer
>>
No. 40489
>>40479

In the UK we're allowed to go outside to exercise, commute to work, and to buy groceries, so I've been taking lots of long walks and bike/motorbike rides and enjoying the less busy and far less polluted streets. Ironically I've been spending far more time outside during the quarantine than I did before it, so I hope it continues indefinitely. Thank you based corona-chan!
>>
No. 40490
>>40488
Thankfully I don't live in a commieblock. I'd have jumped out the window by now if that were the case.
>>
No. 40491
>>40489
I can walk down a lot of streets and cars won't come. It's pretty comfy, I rather enjoy walking through this maze of a city. Didn't think I'd live to see reenact that kind of post(pre?)-apocalyptic scenario.
>>
No. 40495
2,1 MB, 480 × 360, 0:27
198 kB, 630 × 899
>>40489
>>40491
I'm in the suburbs, and this past week I've seen more people on the sidewalks than ever before. The transition to this point was incredibly jarring, and avoiding each other still feels odd, but now that it's becoming our new normal, more and more people are finding their way outside. Kids, families on bikes, joggers ofc, I even saw a guy this morning in front of his house with a set of free weights and a barbell. It looked like he was deadlifting, based on the plates. He was probably grunting too loud, and his wife threw him out of the house :D.
If the stay-at-home order goes on much longer, we may see the return of Small Town America™. Except our little Mayberry won't just have a smiling Andy Griffith, we'll also have to live with the grim spectre of death.
>>
No. 40497
>>40495
>>40491
Geez how many of us even are there on here? I kind of wish I lived in some kind of dense city core just to see that. Our city is just a kind of tiny shitty little place and I still see lots of people out like absolute goddamn retards. I don't think most people are even bothering with the shutdown so much and are now basically just marching around in gloves and oftentimes masks and acting like they can proceed as normal, or some people not bothering with PPE whatsoever. I mean dumb shit like going out to get pizza and ordering hot fudge sundaes and shit like that. Most of them have handled it surprisingly well, although there's always that occasional absolute rude cunt who'd probably be an absolute cunt anyway but now they're even worse.
>>
No. 40498 Kontra
>>40495
Oh and I agree with you btw. Somehow I just feel like this is going to be one of the best things that's happened to the country in a long ass time provided it doesn't make the 2020s our 90s Russia. Hell we might even get a push for better medical care and UBI out of all this and maybe it will actually unite the country for once. Who knows.
>>
No. 40499
237 kB, 2540 × 1370
>>40497
>I kind of wish I lived in some kind of dense city core just to see that.

Coming soon: Ernst takes pictures of a deserted Central London. There's a police car checkpoint on the 28 days later bridge but we'll see if they give a fugg.
>>
No. 40500
>>40495
I live in the suburbs too but I work in the city. Honestly I have not seen too much of a change in my neighborhood, but it's always been quiet and impersonal. Then again I don't really care about my neighbors. But I do see more kids playing around, though it's obvious why.
>>40499
Noice. We're not quite at the City 17 stage yet, at least in my state.
>>
No. 40504
359 kB, 630 × 899
>>40498
>we might even get a push for better medical care and UBI out of all this
Fingers crossed.

>maybe it will actually unite the country for once.
I saw a couple of stories about the Democrats replacing Biden with Andrew Cuomo. If that happened, the country would line up behind him.

>>40499
>There's a police car checkpoint on the 28 days later bridge but we'll see if they give a fugg.
Fingers crossed for you too, ernst :D.

>>40500
The schools have been out for a while now, but I think parents must have been holding kids indoors or something. Because there has been a big increase in the number I see every day. Or maybe the government has just been cracking down on the parks-breaking up games or whatever-so now there's nowhere else for kids to go except to wander on random sidewalks, or play in front of their own homes. I did notice some new 'closed' signs at the local school's soccer/football field.
>>
No. 40511
64 kB, 640 × 425
Congratulations with day of space
>>
No. 40514
>>40511
???
>>
No. 40516
>>40514
Today is Cosmonautics Day, winner of space race :З
>>
No. 40517
109 kB, 768 × 1024
Happy Easter.
I got around 18 Euros as a gift, so I can actually get myself a copy of the first volume of Three Kingdoms. Now I just have to find out if they still do deliveries.
It's one fucking expensive book, but it has a golden cloth cover, two fold-out maps, seven colour maps, two silk bookmarks and over 80 traditional Chinese illustrations, not to mention the notes and the small encyclopedia of characters and names.

Yesterday night I found the mini-USB cable I thought I lost. It's good because this means I can use my E-reader again.
Great, because I might have to read Animal Farm. I don't think I was ever assigned a more basic bitch book in my life.

Just finished the powerpoint slide. I'm finally free for the rest of the day.
>>
No. 40519
>>40517
What's your problem with Animal Farm?
>>
No. 40520
>>40517
I have nothing against the book or Orwell's writings in general really, it's just that we all know what Animal Farm and 1984 are about, and it's a bit tiresome to hear people cry "It wasn't supposed to be a manual!". The message completely worn out by the constant appeals they make to the books.
>>
No. 40522
>>40520
I hear that a lot about those two online, though it's interesting that Brave New World (arguably part of the baby's first dystopian fiction pack) doesn't get that kind of coverage online. Or maybe I'm not looking hard enough.
>>
No. 40523
75 kB, 618 × 806
Happy Easter, everybody. And best wishes to our Orthodox friends, who will celebrate next week.

>>40511
>>40516
And happy Cosmonautics Day as well.
>>
No. 40524
2,4 MB, 1328 × 2380
42 kB, 310 × 465
>>40522
>Or maybe I'm not looking hard enough.

You're not looking hard enough. If I'm ever near Stuart McMillen's house then I'm putting a brick through his window.
>>
No. 40526
>>40523
Thank you. I already prepeared onion peel for my Egg paiting.
>>
No. 40527
Got drunk yesterday for the first time after two months. Hangover hit me really hard today, mostly mentally. Definitely prefer being sober.
Now I don't really see a reason to go back to drinking regularily, I rather think of drinking only on special occasions.

Other than that I feel lonely as fug.
>>
No. 40528
>>40519
It's quite a reactionary book actually.
>>
No. 40529
Chipping sparrows are back from wintering in the south. Soon the dark eyed juncos will leave us.
>>
No. 40530
I am reading my second manga ever, Beserk (first was Hunter x Hunter). It's pretty great. The art is incredible and the story is really gripping. However I am not a manga pro so I cannot say much more than that.
>>
No. 40532
>>40531
Thanks I’ll look into it when I finish Beserk. I may also check out Vagabond because my friend is reading it now.
>>
No. 40534
1,9 MB, 1080 × 1660
>>40530
I've been out of that whole weeb thing for a bit now for several reasons, but I'd recommend Battle Angel Alita if you want a good cyberpunk manga.
>>
No. 40553
>>40529
Lol no it isn't. Animal Farm was a leftist critique of Stalinism by a Socialist who got disillusioned by the authoritarianism and madness that had gripped the country with Stalin's rise to power. This is the same author who wrote 1984 partly as a brutal critique of fascism but also as (again) a critique of Stalinism. In a lot of ways Animal Farm was actually the critique of fascism.

>>40528
I just yesterday I think it was snapped a video of some gold finches. I'd post it but I took it with my phone and idk if raw mp4s carry things like geolocation etc the way iShits at least used to. I remember back in the day fucking with people especially kids on /x/ because all I needed was exif viewer and Google search/maps to take their otherwise completely anonymous post and reply with a pic of the front of their house. I forget if I ever explained to anybody how one single iShit photo without exif data stripped was enough to dox somebody. We basically already live in 1984 except that it's under Capitalism instead of fascism or Socialsim and our rulers were smart enough to rule through ignorance and apathy rather than terror.

I think that every despot has forgotten that thing in favor of the lazy and brutal maxim "let them hate me so long as they fear me." When people fear you they will always try to resist the moment opportunity presents itself. But what if people are so totally ignorant and such apathetic consumer drones they outright pay you for installing telescreens in their own homes? What if they stick an XBOX camera in your living room and 24/7 tracking with 24/7 audio surveillance and you're at such a level of laziness, ignorance, and demoralization it doesn't even occur to you that's something worth complaining about? There isn't any need to rule through fear. Moreover, if they fear, then they will start doing things like taking the battery out of their phones--even eschewing mobile altogether--and if they are not ignorant they strip metadata wherever they are able, and if they fear then they will tape up every camera and smash every microphone. Instead it is at such a level that these dumbfuck drug dealers do shit like post photos of their stash to instagram and shitbook, they leave their XBOX and their Siri and Alexa plugged in when committing their crimes.

I would even go so far as to say this level of ignorance, apathy, demoralization, and anti-intellectualism combined with the notion that only what your oligarchs tell you is real, is real, has been the chief driving force behind the disastrous response to the Wuhan virus. Any mentally healthy individual would be at once suspicious of government overreach as well as taking any large scale epidemic with the seriousness as knowing his country is about to enter a brutal war.
>>
No. 40562
>>40553
>Animal Farm was a leftist critique of Stalinism by a Socialist
Yes, I know and I respect Orwell seeing what class background he had and for taking part in the Spanish civil war but it is still a reactionary book if you take a closer look (and not only from a stalinist perspective) because while it denounces the bourgeoisie (humans) in the end it all boils down to the wishy washy human nature argument denying historical progress brought upon via the russian revolution.
See,even the trots admit it: https://www.marxists.org/history/etol/writers/molyneux/1989/xx/orwell.html

Also there's the Orwells List thing, even though that happened after he wrote the book.

1984 is largely based on the novel We by Yevgeny Zamyatin btw.
>>
No. 40570
1,9 MB, 1985 × 2362
I'm wondering if my BA preperation odyssey will finally come to an end this week/next week.

I started out with the themes of security and crime in later West Germany. I went over topics such as youth crime emergence, the emergence of a drug scene and crime TV shows to social scentific knowledge on crimes and security within cities, skipping it in order to look at the autonomist political violence and disorder of the 1980s. Always related to the discourses around these phenomena.
I then kicked all that in order to look for cybernetic knowledge in West Germany, knowledge on networks, knowledge on complexity, all of these as factors in new knowledge on policy/governementality. I went further to computers and the emergence of the so called "informtion society" to just skip that as well and look into history of technology and technics. I found an article on historical tech anthropolgy and thought that the emergence of biotechnology or more specifically genetic engineering would provide a good base for a historical change in what humans make sense of themselves as humans(creators etc). But I lost interested in that.
Now I came back to securities and crime and will probably do something on the technology (governmental knowledge) of (crime) prevention (in cities). The emergence of preventional logics during the 80s and 90s. Tho I will stick to the 80s.
Rn I'm reading a classic: The Broken Windows Theory by Willson and Kelling
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/03/broken-windows/304465/
It argues that keeping order up is more important than crime fighting. Order is prevention of future threat and makes people feel more secure.the concept of security is highly interesting as phenomenon as it only exists in the light of threat, real or imagined
The logic of prevention implies a great deal on how cities are handled (today) and how the implementation of that logic alters city living and overall societal order.
This week I will get the books that will be sources about how this idea of order gets introduced in German (community) policy during the 1980s, marking a historical change in community policy and knowledge and perception of security etc. I have to work that out more precisely ofc.

Also Happy Easter. Though these days have the same value and function as Christmas: Family comes together.
>>
No. 40579
I spent half the day baking cakes and scones with mum, the other half reading.
I've read the Mishima essay. Well, it's more like an article from a literary journal. It had some interesting insight, but otherwise, it was a tad bit overwrought for my tastes. Though it did get me in the mood to read something by Mishima, and thankfully I have some of his novels on my shelf that I haven't read.

Almost done with reading People of the Puszta. It's more of a loose collection and mish-mash of anecdotes, biography and sociography than a novel.
I kinda see why it would interest someone who lived most of his life in the Australian wastes in small towns.

They're still delivering books, so I'm going to order Three Kingdoms. But fuck paying for delivery, so I'm getting Pelevin't Omon Rha too, because I'd much rather pay the delivery price twice and get a nice book than pay half the delivery price and get "nothing".

I found a packet of page markers behind a stack of books. Good thing, because I was running out and I don't know if the office supplies store is open or not.

Yesterday I managed to go to bed one hour earlier than usual. A few more days and I think I'll be able to go to bed before midnight.
>>
No. 40589
Can hardly believe it's not even the middle of April yet. I feel like I've had years that have gone quicker than this.

>>40553
>This is the same author who wrote 1984 partly as a brutal critique of fascism but also as (again) a critique of Stalinism. In a lot of ways Animal Farm was actually the critique of fascism.

It would be easier to say that 1984 and Animal Farm were critiques of totalitarianism. As much as you can really differentiate given what went on under "Socialism in One Country" and it's later reverberations in corporatism and paranoia of outsiders. Animal Farm I have trouble putting into this camp given how closely it follows real historical events and the obvious hostility from Stalin's role in the Spanish Civil War and stranglehold on international socialist movements following the exile of Trotsky.

Personally I dislike Orwell's writing for how simplistic it is, he writes fluent civil servant and his Six Rules for Writing is a recommended primer on how to write briefing. It's especially common in dystopian literature but there's always one perspective at work while everything else is 2D characters. This is normally picked up by feminist analysis on how female characters operate as mattresses.

>>40562
I find it curious how different We and 1984 ended up being. Take how sex is approached in these societies - true there's a good deal of difference explained by the war etc. but only one really operates on a consistent (if absurd) logic and it's the same one that stops being some bloody depressing.

Like the Hungarian, I feel some of my venom towards Orwell might just be how ubiquitous it is. He was one of the first authors I seriously read which was important for getting this delinquents act together.
>>
No. 40595
>>40553
>I remember back in the day fucking with people especially kids on /x/ because all I needed was exif viewer and Google search/maps to take their otherwise completely anonymous post and reply with a pic of the front of their house. I forget if I ever explained to anybody how one single iShit photo without exif data stripped was enough to dox somebody.
This can work backwards too. Some 4 years ago a girl came to magyarchan, and she fucked with us by editing the geolocation in the exif data of her pictures. She knew we are going to look at the metadata, and then get her adress if there are coordinates.
>>
No. 40597
>>40579
Puszták népe is a good read, highly recommended. If you are further interested in ethnographyc works I recommend the novels of Tömörkény István, they are good even just as a casual read, they are entertaining. Also recommend Gémes Eszter - she is much less known but her works are kinda interesting too.

And, while it's not ethnography, but history, if you have the nerves, I recommend reading Bujdosó könyv from Tormay Cécile. But it is a hard read, becouse of the events it describes. Very unsettling.
>>
No. 40603
470 kB, 651 × 481
Every time I go out I end up telling myself just the last couple of supplies and then I inevitably figure out I'm missing something and actually have to go all the way f'ing back out again that week but this time I'm pretty sure I've got just about everything. I've got enough coffee to last me a month now and enough creamer to last for weeks, which was an exceptionally wonderful moment for me to discover they had full stock on amaretto creamer. God I love that stuff. And now I also actually have enough kratom and tobacco to last me for two weeks again if not longer. I can't think of a single thing which isn't trivial bullshit or I can skip out on.

I've been burning mad incense lately. It's been raining here all day and the comfy levels are exceptional. I was tempted to shoot a brief video for ernst of how cozily apocalyptic it feels wandering through the rain in a raincoat with gas mask dangling off me after a supply run and the gutters are choked with latex gloves and surgical masks as the low hanging clouds shear themselves off across a barren grey sky with the rain gently slashing across my face diagonally, before the now standard decontamination procedures and wondering if I'll have enough iso to get by for the next week or two. Ah the rain is coming down hard now.
Excellent.

Thank you God for the absolute state of comfiness on this day.
>>
No. 40643
Started playing Red Dead Redemption 2 so I decided to unearth my ancient cowboy boots and go cycling in them. Turns out the high heels which make them perfect for riding horses by locking your feet in the stirrups, also make them excellent for cycling because they lock your feet in the pedals.
>>
No. 40646
>>40643
This post feels very British for some reason.
>>
No. 40657
I went to an open field with nothing around it to drink beers and smoke cigarettes in this quarantine of ours.
Eventually, thunder and rain made me retreat home.

It's a nice thing on how fog really goes together with Sintra mountains. I took some pictures but my phone is too shitty to do it justice.
>>
No. 40662
366 kB, 564 × 600
>mfw I just found out they published a new, complete translation of the Nibelungenlied in Hungarian
Lads this is the best year ever in Hungarian publishing. Almost shed a tear again.
Haha money from wallet go whoosh

I've been eating nothing but scones for two days now. The thing is with eating scones for two days is that by the end of the second day, you want to barf up ever single scone you've ever eaten in your life. And that's just not a good feeling now, is it?
I gotta make some proper lunch tomorrow instead of eating pastries.

The weather was really windy today, so I didn't even try to go outside. This is probably the perfect definition of what a day wasted feels and looks like. I filled out a quiz and wrote half a page in 11 hours.
I feel like a fucking hack whenever I write down expressions like "Protectionist foreign-economic policy of the former Austro-Hungarian provinces". This if the fucking worst and I simultaneously have a smug grin and a feeling of dread whenever I do it.

Another thing is that I'm running out of valerian after maybe a month of buying the last box. Which is bad, because I'd much rather use herbal remedies for ma anxiety than alcohol. Alcohol is cool and all, very literary, but I don't particularly want to go to the hospital with a stomach ulcer or the like. That fucking sucks, doubly so because of the pandemic.

>>40597
I don't particularly mean to read more in this "genre" besides Illyés' second book on the topic, Ebéd a Kastélyban, simply because it's short. (I've already read half of it before bed yesterday night, because I couldn't sleep) I don't want to run before walking, and there's still a lot of works considered fundamental to our literature I haven't read.
Though I've noted your Tormay recommendation. She's one of those authors whose name I only heard in conjugation with some sort of curse word or a derogatory term for political reasons.
>>
No. 40666
I've been doing little else but playing/watching Dota 2 for what feels like an indefinite amount of time. I'm trapped in this schedule of waking in the early afternoon, watching the Dota tournament that's going on right now on Twitch, then playing a couple of games with my squad. By then it's usually around midnight so I'm just left fucking around and watching some series/listening to a podcast. Oh and playing Dark Souls which I, against all odds, am about to finish after some 5 years of playing off and on. Crazy what people get done during quarantine :)

At least I also managed to go outside and ride my skateboard a bit. Surprisingly I didn't even get worse after a break that must've been over half a year long.

Today I finally received some news from work after almost a month of what amounted to paid vacation time so I guess the lazy days are over now and I'll actually have to get some stuff done. First things first, I really need to fix my sleep schedule.
>>
No. 40668
867 kB, 720 × 548
>>40666
>Crazy what people get done during quarantine :)
Ye
>>
No. 40671
>>40666
I haven't skated once in over a year, maybe I will give it a go too.
>>
No. 40700
32 kB, 450 × 227
463 kB, 664 × 367
Ayyyyyyyy niqqa I just got PAID oh fucking shit yeah!
>meager wages from my drastically scaled back regular job which just added the cherry on top of
>my state tax refund finally came
>$1200 in trumpbux
I'm paying my rent like two weeks early for May and spending money on some silly shit. I'd buy vidya but I fucking hate Steam with such a fiery passion now and GOG hasn't got a good number of games that I want for some reason so we shall see how that goes. I've been trying to avoid doing anything except purchasing DLCs from Valve because their faggy licensing was only roughly tolerated so long as the platform was good, and now it is shit and they never even bothered to unfuck it from being hideous bloatware and whatever the fuck else it is doing in the background now.

I don't even actually know what to buy right now because I basically either panic bought or stocked up on just about fucking everything over the previous two months so there's actually very little I even still have to get right now.
>>
No. 40708
>>40662
>Though I've noted your Tormay recommendation. She's one of those authors whose name I only heard in conjugation with some sort of curse word or a derogatory term for political reasons.
I know. And the book I've recommended is the one they can't forgive her. If you read it you'll know why. She names names. Megnevezi azokat, akik szeretnének rejtve maradni. És nem tudják hazugságon érni.
>>
No. 40712
20 kB, 471 × 396
Today I've managed to write three short essays that would've served as outlines for the oral exam. Since the oral exams have been cancelled, it has degraded to needless busywork that had to be done because it was handed to us before said exams were cancelled.
At least the topic was interesting. First written sources of the Hungarian language, The gener development of a language over time, Layers of vocabulary in Hungarian. Fine and interesting topics. But the pieces I turned in where shallow and norm-conforming.

Changed my diet a bit like I wanted to. Had a proper breakfast, a proper lunch and a proper dinner. Unbelievably refreshing.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow (or rather, today). The break is over. I think that means that I'm going to have to go back to the same old grind. I don't want to wake up to getting bombarded by 20 emails and notifications. I really don't.

>>40700
Dog bless free money :D

>>40708
Is it the one where he calls Károlyi out for having room temperature IQ and delusions of grandeur because of his upbringing as a retarded offspring of the nobility?
I've read a short excerpt from that. Sounds hella based.
>>
No. 40714
>>40700
>I don't even actually know what to buy right now because I basically either panic bought or stocked up on just about fucking everything over the previous two months so there's actually very little I even still have to get right now.

S-T-O-C-K-S

But why pay rent early, do you get a discount?
>>
No. 40716
223 kB, 1024 × 837
19 kB, 248 × 330
>>40714
The problem is I still don't have enough money to play that sort of game. Probably not even the penny stocks although you are definitely right. The one thing I actually forgot to do today was go in and check with my bank about having foreign currency reserves because I'm expecting my economy to get totally ass fucked with inflation which is part of why I don't mind treating my liquid like it is and pissing through it.
>rent
Partly because that's more a psychological thing. I like knowing I've got that out of the way rather than have a pile of money to think I can fuck about with which is even more critical right now where I don't know what the future holds and am concerned with it, where out of all the things I need to do and spend money on food is clearly my first concern and with that basic need secured housing is my second. Only with those two critically secured am I content to do anything else, in which case it really is the absolute most important thing because I'm on a lease anyway and even if I've got five thousand dollars which exactly do you think is the better to spend that money on? Giving a bunch of Capitalists more capital with which to fuck about somehow on the premise that I might be able to make it as a white collar gambler rather than getting hosed, or securing my future for the next 6 months so that literally no matter what happens I havent got to worry about needing a place to stay?

These are the basic premises and logistics of being a poor person. Having no such access to capital, my larger desires are totally irrelevant. Being on a lease means that I'm basically indentured to my land. Not that it matters to me particularly because I don't care about my credit score right now, although come to think of it I probably should apply for a new card and just buy some stupid bullshit like a few groceries and pay it off immediately every month for that purpose.

So even if I had many thousands of dollars my first concern would be paying off the entire lease just so I can loaf about and almost totally direct my energy elsewhere, followed by any other debts I feel like paying mainly personal ones. My other expenditures have all largely been directed towards becoming as comfortable as possible here, a point I am largely at now. I think the only thing I'm even missing is like a toaster.

I am however trying to remember which currencies I wish to get, which includes a handful of rubles, shekels, riyals, yuan, and euros. Particularly euros. Out of all the economic powers I am betting on right now my overall opinion hasn't changed which is that the EU is most likely to weather this and recover well. My country could bounce back real fast too but the spread is too wide and I know full well America can eat shit hard in the next few years maybe even at a level of USSR 1989 if things get bad enough, which they likely will and I am fully expecting catastrophic mismanagement of my country in the near years to come. This will fuck AUSD and CAD too.

So basically in other words the closest thing I've got in the near future is bydlo currency trading following having some foreign currency reserves of my own, provided I can find a way to not let people fuck me with conversion fees or whatever silly bullshit.

In the meantime I've been looking at telescopes and microscopes today. Man I'd love to get a telescope, and I mean an actually really nice one that'll cost me many hundreds of dollars but that's not happening. I may still end up getting a microscope though. Probably not but it's one of the few genuinely nice things I'd like to think about as a consumer purchase if I wanted to waste my money instead of saving it at this point.
>>
No. 40720
>>40716
AUD was going down the tubes either way. We never had the same GFC when everyone else did, and we were approaching the can we had kicked down the road in the past, and didn't have the ability to kick it again.
>>
No. 40723
Hey Russia, Ukraine, or Belarus could any of you actually mail fish out of your countries? I am thinking of specifically Racer Goby or more especially Black Gobies which I guess you would call them Бычок-гонецor or Чёрный бычок there? I'd start a new thread but eh. It would be kind of cool for us to just help sell stuff to each other. I do hope that Latvian managed to sell amanitas to Wecterner hippies.
>>
No. 40727
Got offered my job back but the conditions aren't letting me work. My old kitchen isn't reopening so it was on the other side of town and I didn't have reliable means of getting there for shifts. Feels very bad man.
>>
No. 40730
>>40727
Maybe get out of catering.
>>
No. 40731
1,1 MB, 900 × 681
>>40730
Maybe I'm trying. Maybe it's a lot easier to say 'jus get anuvah job' on the internet than it is to actually do so in real life, especially under lockdown when the job market is trashed.
>>
No. 40733
>>40731
You're a history pro, no? Why don't you try to get into politics or something like that
>>
No. 40734
>>40733
Maybe once upon a time. I thought about it in my student days even. Now? Not so much. Besides, I failed a year of my degree and had a fairly below average GPA. I wouldn't consider my having a degree any indicator of intelligence, just my ability to eventually nail shit into long term memory. I got my dole to keep me going for now anyway. Should be able to find something in the longer term, but I do find myself missing the line ever so slightly. I'm sure that feeling too will pass :-D
>>
No. 40739
>>40730
We've been telling him this for awhile now.

>>40731
>>40734
You're on the dole and you're literally stopped by the government from finding kitchen work. Consider this a gift from God giving you the unmitigated opportunity to get your shit together and start looking for something--anything--that doesn't involve pissing your life away on that shithole. I've been extraordinarily happier since I abandoned that piece of shit life and I can well recognize the only reason I didn't before genuinely was because of inertia, and not complete lack of ability in finding new work.
>b-but muh area
Then save up some money and fucking move. Find a friend or relative. You know full well at this point that the only reason you aren't planning on it is because you'd rather be a contented lazy bum getting drunk and/or high every day in the familiarity of your own routine just like most restaurant workers.
T. Reformed restaurant worker who wasted 14 good years of his life on the worst "career" path imaginable
>>
No. 40742
I need to prepare a presentation tonight because I couldn't be bothered to do it all week. It's ezpz but a headache settled in with the weather change.

>Do my usual routine of googling for some miracle cure
>Top results are all the usual gutterpress saying that I have coronavirus and will die

Well, at least they've stopped telling me it's going to be a 40 degree blizzard with roaming clouds of poison every-time I look at the weather.

>>40716
Forex is a mugs game run by whales with algorithms. With substantial skill and luck you might be able to make a tiny profit but the whales decide the market and unless you're actively trading the money is just inflating away. If you want something stable and would beat a big US downturn then you obviously buy gold (you've missed the boat on crypto). Personally I find precious metal investments distasteful but there we go.

>Only with those two critically secured am I content to do anything else, in which case it really is the absolute most important thing because I'm on a lease anyway and even if I've got five thousand dollars which exactly do you think is the better to spend that money on? Giving a bunch of Capitalists more capital with which to fuck about somehow on the premise that I might be able to make it as a white collar gambler rather than getting hosed, or securing my future for the next 6 months so that literally no matter what happens I havent got to worry about needing a place to stay?

This is how the poor stay poor, your landlord must really be kicking his heels right now. Just leave it in a cash savings account if you can't spend it you dumb fuck.
>>
No. 40743
944 kB, 497 × 280, 0:02
>>40742
And you're telling me to blow a few hundred dollars that I have left on giving it to some faggot stockbroker because...?
>this is how the poor stay poor
Yeah no shit sherlock that's what happens when you're part of the overwhelming majority in a Capitalist society that doesn't have access to capital, which unlike someone with loads of money it DOES actually matter quite a fucking lot if my investment doesn't pan out.

Think of it like a poker game. You've got this fat stack of chips and now you're asking me why I'm hesitant to go in on a hand where I've got just barely enough to cover an ante or two. So far as you're concerned it doesn't matter if you have to fold a couple of hands you ended up actively betting on because guess what there's always more where that came from, and your playstyle is heavily determined by how much money you've got access to.

So the end result is that I'm engaging in the white color equivalent of a poker game at the casino with a bunch of corporations acting like they're doing me a favor by me giving them MY meager capital to fuck about with. Fuck do they care? If the executives actively fuck the company they still get their $10 million severance package. Meanwhile I'm going to have to find a why just to not get jewed out of any profit I could make on fees, and hope my "app" or whatever site or program doesn't end up going down right when I want to sell like just happened this recent stock market crash. It's a potentially higher stakes chumps game masquerading as something smart and classy for smart and classy people, much like all gambling operations.
>b-but you'll make so much money if you just bet your savings on that one unicorn startup!
Yeah and the same can be said waiting for my next hand of quads or flopping a flush draw.
>b-but you can do it smartly!
Yeah and again, you can say the same thing about trying to bluff your way into raking the pot by conning your opponent into thinking you've got a flush while you're holding 2,7 off suit.

The only reason one gets more prestige than the other is because of contempt for the bydlo and fluffing the knobs and egos of the type of person to get into trading. I'm not saying I won't be keeping this in mind, just calling it for what it truly is.
>forex whales
Yeah except that it's fundamentally the same more or less for everything else. The exact same people making all that money in investments are the ones being favored with loopholes, accounting practices, secret deals, open handshakes, and all manner of tomfoolery between members of the upper crust running the exact same sort of con game on the newly "rich" and upwardly mobile enough into thinking they're ever going to be anything other than more specialized and better compensated servants of the owning class, just with other instruments than a Megamillions lotto ticket and more nuanced approach into conning people into actively defending the mechanisms of insulation from consequence and enrichment of the elite at exploitation of everybody else, albeit with w different kind of flattery to the vanities of those who wear a tie to work.

By and large not even patented inventions will get you ahead these days because you costs you an assload of money to do so and meanwhile what happens in reality is you work for a company using those corporate resources and the company gets to keep the patent and the profit for your invention that made you billions and they'll just give you a $10 gift certificate in return for "doing your job."

>forex
>currency inflates anyway
>just keep it in your savings then bro lol
Yeah no shit and what exactly is saving it all going to accomplish then? You seemed to miss my point completely which is the primary purpose of me keeping my savings in more diversified liquid assets would be as an insurance against the coming massive inflation of our economy and just hoping to offset my real value losses by keeping at least some of my cash in other currencies that I'm banking on the spread beating at least some of them to not being toilet paper. I'm not actually expecting to make much of any money swapping currencies but rather as the ancillary function when the primary purpose is so I at least would still have something if my country ate shit hard enough to kill the value of my imaginary fiat dollariedoos. This is part of the thinking I outlined behind why I've got zero interest in CAD or AUD and why I didn't mention the pound because while my country going down the tubes is definitely going to fuck completely everybody everywhere it's going to fuck you guys even harder thus nullifying the purpose, whereas I at least expect that the Saudis, Israelis, Russians, bug people, and Yurop to weather the storm and survive more or less.

>gold
Too expensive at this point. Wouldn't hurt in the event we have hyperinflation but if things pan out I'm more liable to be losing money right now if it ends up being more at the peak right now. Buying gold was two months ago and once again I had no money to engage in such things.

You know that saying, you have to have money to make money? Yeah. It's that. The only stocks I'd actually bet on are genomics and biotech. But at the same time key word, bet. And why should I spend money that I've set aside as discretionary rather than savings on something like that rather than something that's actually going to be useful to me? At least a physical object or asset regardless of its depreciation and forcing me to sell at massive loss later would still provide me an actual utility for now and the now future. That's partly why I did shit like spent $60 on a microwave rather than have no microwave and give some shitty corporation my money for nothing in return but empty promises.
>>
No. 40744
Ever since this lockdown shit happened I've lost my drive. I'm still doing what I need to do but there is zero passion in it. Maybe it's the nature of the work I need to do now (get grant money to save the day vs. invent world-reking shit on VC dime) but I'm finding myself staring at the monitor without doing anything for long periods of time and I hadn't done that since my thesis. It's also the same computer I wrote my thesis in since I'm stuck in my parents basement. Maybe it's the computer.
>>
No. 40749
149 kB, 369 × 346
>>40744
In my case it's lack of movement. It's a problem because in my case exercise is walking a lot. sigh
>>
No. 40752 Kontra
>>40743
>And you're telling me to blow a few hundred dollars that I have left on giving it to some faggot stockbroker because...?

No, I'm saying put it in a reputable fund - you'll have savings and over a 5 year period it will grow! The standard financial advice is for 3 months of expenses in an easy access account rather than throwing cash at your landlord and then you start properly saving for the long-term.

>mimimi I'm poor and capitalism is evil because 5g or whatever

Okay then, stay poor.
>>
No. 40756
>>40739
>I've been extraordinarily happier since I abandoned that piece of shit life and I can well recognize the only reason I didn't before genuinely was because of inertia, and not complete lack of ability in finding new work.
Cool story. Thing is that I'm not you. I've been feeling progressively worse since not earning my own damn bacon. It's a shit job, but at least it was a job which is better than what I have now, which is nothing. Missing out on it was a letdown.

>Then save up some money and fucking move.
Where? Interstate travel is shut down and I'm in the biggest city in the state with the largest surviving job market. Again, a lot easier said online than done in real life.

>You know full well at this point that the only reason you aren't planning on it is because you'd rather be a contented lazy bum getting drunk and/or high every day in the familiarity of your own routine just like most restaurant workers.
>let me tell you about your life
Yeah nah. Got it wrong because you don't know me. It's not as though until lockdown I was going to night classes to turn skills I have (welding, basic construction) into certifications or anything. What I want is a steady job that gives me a fair wage for my work. For someone like me, a post-industrial society runs pretty short on those, and most of them are in hospitality and construction, two industries that are being hamstrung by the current economic issues. I'm still applying for work outside of those, meat processing, dock working, warehousing, hell I applied at the fucking tip. I put out 20 applications last week and heard back from one which shortlisted me but ended up giving it to someone else. That's also not including apprentice intakes that I've been working on applications for.
>>
No. 40757
>>40744
>>40749
I have gotten absolutely massive amounts of shit done. The sole thing I havent gotten done at all has been consistently playing vidya for hours at a time. Idk why I'm just too fidgety to sit there staring at my screen. Could also be the tank right next to my head with bright light blaring. So I think it's just you guys. I've had to force myself to fuck off at this point and I'm still probably going to go out and gather lumber for another project this coming week. Well actually more like another three or four projects.

What this has made me realize is work is not actually a chore--it's a joy and it gives man meaning. What's not a chore and is soul sucking is working to make someone else money. Then that definitely does feel like you're wasting your life. Is this some kind of a Socialist concept? About feeling depressed or alienated about working in Capitalist societies but feeling fulfilled in the Perfekt Socialist ParadiseTM because you're supposed to be working to benefit society and yourself or working for yourself and doing your own projects? Somehow I feel like it probably is. Because I've just been working for myself and thus improving my own skills and doing meaningful things I've been feeling great and like life is full of potential meaning again now that I'm not just watching my corporation squeeze labor out of me while trying to strategize how best to squeeze every dime out of customers too.
>>
No. 40759
45 kB, 460 × 280
Had a terrible nightmare about a female police officer knocking on my window and using a walkie-talkie to broadcast a pre-recorded message stating that everyone in town got infected.
In a sense it was a bit like gettin an exorcism.
You feel just a tiny bit more liberated after dreams like these.
>>
No. 40761
It's such a surreal experience when I'm having a psychotic depressive episode, immersed in a morose schizo reality, and then mom opens the door in a chipper mood, saying something about the kitchen drain making weird sounds. Mundane reality invades upon the space of existential pathos, putting its validity into question, in an almost mocking way. What felt monumental a moment ago now feels quaint, which makes it more bitter and funny that it still feels real.
Then I force myself to have some idle chit chat, pretending that I'm here and not somewhere in my own reality, barely engaging through a thick fog of derealization.

I wish to one day convey this through art somehow, it's the most authentic thing I could hope to express. But I don't know how to do it without making it look even more dumb than it already sounds.
>>
No. 40771
79 kB, 640 × 640
78 kB, 640 × 640
Uninstalled Dota 2 yesterday. It's really not so much the time spent playing, though that adds up as well, but rather the way it occupies my mind when I'm not playing, when I theorycraft about some hero-item-skillbuild combination or whatever or try to decipher what I could've done better in some past game or whatever.
The catalyst was this weird VR art installation/presentation, basically some sort of critical theory of online gaming, I stumbled upon: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/593801090
It doesn't really come to a point, but there were some interesting points touched upon that I've been thinking about somewhat subconsciously but never really saw articulated before, e.g. the role of "human capital" in vidya. Lately I've been playing with friends who are considerably worse at the game so most of the time it was up to me to make calls and have the most impact on the game as otherwise we were losing a lot, and I did enjoy that to some extent but there's also some element that makes me uncomfortable about constantly telling people what to do and how to play. I'd rather everyone just have fun but losing all the time just isn't fun either and that's maybe where the matchmaking system is a bit of two-sided sword, and the old school lobby system without any ELO numbers allowed for carefree, even if often unbalanced, games.
Well, anyway, that "Gamer's Journey" diagram is kinda crude but really hits home hard.
>>
No. 40773
312 kB, 1280 × 800
Today I woke up on the same couch that I've been crashing on for the past month now. I made myself some instant oatmeal, a cup of coffee, and fired up the laptop full of anime stickers to shitpost. It's cloudy and breezy today, but I'll need to leave for groceries soon enough. Afterwards, well, I'll do what I do best- get high with my friend and read some of my book. "Quarantine" life is the NEETdom I never asked for, but always dreamed of.

I need to call me mum today as well.
>>
No. 40775
Today I was walking outside and on two separate occasions very friendly dogs tried to greet me but I couldn't touch them because of the virus scare and the fact that the owners would most likely not have approved. It upset me more than I care to admit.
>>
No. 40792
96 kB, 850 × 478
>>40773
I would be perfectly happy with another month under quarantine and luckily my country is filled with enough complete idiots that they're going to make absolutely sure there's another huge wave of infections so even if business picks up I can swiftly go back to sitting at home trying to get hold of the unemployment office and doing my random projects and playing video games instead of having to deal with people. It's a hermit's dream. Now all I have to do is try not to get sick and die or permanently disabled in America because of said idiots spreading it to me when I inevitably have to deal with them at work or when I finally have to resupply at the store or whatever.
>>
No. 40826
154 kB, 1080 × 1920
I had nightmares again. This time it was about high level US officials dying in an accident that occurred during a factory tour. A machine beheaded them one by one, and the operators could do little to halt the process because the machines could only be turned off for a few seconds before restarting.

My headache subsided after it rained during the night. The weird feeling in my intestines and stomach persists, which is worrying. I don't particularly want to go to hospital with it regardless of the pandemic. I'm not going back to living on empty bread and peach juice for dietary reasons.
If the inflammation gets any worse I just go back to taking my pills like I did a year or two ago. The issue is that you can only get them after a special prescription if you have a recommendation by a specialist. Thankfully I was a 300IQ lad last time I went to a specialist and got it just in case and against the insistence of my mother.

It's really strange that when you're healthy you can say "I want to die" or "Kill me" without any remorse, but if the faintest chance of dying comes up, you can only say "I want to live".

I've finished reading People of the Puszta, and I'm on the last pages of it's "sequel". So tomorrow I can start studying for the maturas.
I'm going to try to fill out last year's questionnaire. Apparently it's in two parts. The first is basic reading, checking if whether or not your functionally illiterate. They also make you write a small rhetorical text. The second part is "literary analysis" where you'll have a poem, two poems or a short story and you have to analyse it on the spot. First part is 90 minutes, second part is 150.

>Get e-mail about the comparative analysis of the poems I did last week
>"I'd like to congratulate [classmate] and Ernst for their excellent work"
Yeah lads, we're back on track now.
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No. 40827
6 kB, 196 × 223
Not come out fro mhome in days. Not because virus thing really, but today this preiod of year when "winter fights spring". Spring trying to melt snow, but more snow falling from sky. For some reason it's hurts my asburgers. Like if something melting, continue melt. When 1/3 of snow melted and then there fall 1/5 of new one above it, I feel frustrated for some reason.
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No. 40836 Kontra
22 kB, 500 × 510
I'm getting depressed over my BA, I can't nail a fucking topic and say, yeah I gonna write it, just a bigger paper. I can't see why the shit does not work. In every seminar I found something, a thesis and the string to prepare my argument along and then I read, took notes and put the string into paragraphs. Perhaps it's because the topics are nothing I had seminars on. I have to dwell into every topic myself and even tho I read quite a bit, I read too less on one topic. I give up on sources quite fast as they seem not fruitful. My expectations for this work are way to high and I immediatley give up when I don't see the argument and the sources infront of me like it's an already finished work.
My sleep schedule is fucked big time, it's 3.30am. I will get up late and will get up late on Monday, work has differing working hours since it's corona time. I won't get any shit done that needs to get done because I only start to read in the late afternoon on weekdays.
I'm fucking disappointed how all that turns out. I'm nearly 8 months into preperations, you can reduce it to 1-2 months of excessive preperation but in these 8 months I wrote papers and did a lowkey internship as well as my last seminars.
Can't wait to leave behind the exclusively historic stuff and will be able to write about both historic, contemporary and theoretical stuff in my master programm if I get accepted in these picky institutions I've put my eyes on.
>>
No. 40843
>>40757
I'm not alienated from my production in the Marxian sense, in fact I'd rather be a bit alienated nowadays

I set up a different desk for work in the living room, let's see how that goes.
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No. 40870
>>40836
Surely this is all a bit much for BA. Just figure out a narrow area where you score decent marks and make all the right noises for 90% of the grade with the remaining 10% being some unique spin. You're demonstrating project management for a bachelors, not creating a whole new field.

I did my undergraduate dissertation in property law because the area is quite meditative and the supervisor was someone I could work with. 85% was planning law, 5% was Scottish law and me forgetting Northern Ireland exists because I'm English and final 10% was comparisons to American law where I could draw on 52 different areas law thingies. I'll let you guess how much I really gave a fuck about any of this.
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No. 40871 Kontra
>>40870
By all means, if you have an area you like and feel confident doing then do that. My advice can be boiled down to not letting perfect be the enemy of the good.
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No. 40872
>>40871
I basically want to write a journal article I guess. So I pick stuff that is too much and needs more time exploring the field. I will have a new go at it this week. Found out the MA application period has been prolonged in one case and I don't need to take a TOEIC test rn for it but can hand it in next year if I get taken. So that is taken away from me at the moment and I can focus on the BA. The problem is I cannot settle for something that I don't care about and it also feels wrong to just steal a thesis more or less. Like a thesis where with a bit of research it will be shown that people indirectly or directly wrote about it already. I don't know, there are many possibilties what I could do, clearly nothing spectacular but a neat twist to something old or something that as source is unexplored would be great. It's either methodology or sources that don't want to resonate with my ideas, which might be too vague as well in some cases.
I was thrilled by the idea of scrutinizing the role of music machines like synthesizers, samplers and drum computers and the connection to the humans using it, basically the man-machine relationship in the context of techno music or the supposed effect techno has, more a histoy of discourse on people "who behave like robots!" etc. The methodology is unclear, I have a theory which I only have secondhand knowledge about so far and this is not a historical approach in its own. And on the other hand sources and secondary literature about that topic are either rare or hard to find, if not both you really have to be creative and patient when it comes to that strand of history, but c'mon a cultural history and/or a history of technology for electronic music in general will have to be there one day and therefore way too time consuming for a simple BA, which really is nothing but a bigger paper. I wrote a paper that was more then the maximal amount of characters that are allowed for a BA in two months on a topic that interested me, but yeah, that was in a sociology/cultural studies module and dealt with contemporary theories and topics.

I took a stroll through the inner city half an hour ago because I wanted to leave the house and also couple that with going to the dry cleaner to get my pair of trousers. At the pick up automat I coincidentally met somebody who worked me into a job a few years ago. We both couldn't get our shit, because somebody left clothing in the pick up booth and nobody picked up the phone at the number you can call outside of working hours.
The city was empty and quite silent, perfect for a stroll. I saw only a handful of people including two roller blading high schoolers, I guess, taking the opportunity of empty streets.
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No. 40874 Kontra
Is using spoilers in lieu of parentheses the hippest new mene on EC?
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No. 40875
>>40874
I like its tidiness. It blends in with the rest of the text less so you can see that it's extra infa and not a core piece of your post.
t. user of spoilers
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No. 40879
12 kB, 224 × 261
>>40875
Same. I find it helps visually and cognitively organize my posts better.

>>40874
I'm sorry that our autism causes you problems. Well not really but you're from the Anglosphere as well and thus recognize it's impolite not to say such untrue formalities.I'm also partial to semicolons as well as hyphens.
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No. 40887 Kontra
>>40874
It was always like that

>>40875
>>40879

Count me in on the spoiler gang.
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No. 40890
>>40874
You're the fun one in parties aren't you
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No. 40892
57 kB, 378 × 426
>>40890
> parties
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No. 40903
47 kB, 409 × 350
I finally went to get a diagnosis. It turned out I really, actually tick all the boxes for Asperger Autism.

So much of my life makes sense now.
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No. 40904
99 kB, 598 × 601
>For Klaus Scherpe he gets quoted in a book from 1986, the 'novelty of the impending end of the world' continued to consist in the fact that it had not only become 'producible', but 'even exchangeable': The warlike devastation of the world was only one possibility among others, such as ecological catastrophes.
>exchangable
>exchangable
>exchangable

So Ernst, how does it feel to live in the age of humanly produced and exchangable apocalpyses?
The article I'm reading suggests that our current condition (at least parts) began to shape within the 1970s/1980s. Especially the concepts in which we make sense of what is happening. Indeed when you look at history there seem to be quite a continuity in how we like to describe the present then and now.
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No. 40905
I must've listened to the Big Ben's 12 o' clock chime a hundred times today. There is something incredibly soothing about it. Makes you take a big breath, close your eyes and say "everything is all right".

Mum finally finished reading my translation after maybe half a year. Should've just said "I don't like the story", handing it back. I could've lent it to other people in the meantime who would've given me valuable advice. And now I can't do that because school's out.
What a shame.

Walked a good 10-15 minutes with the last copy in my hand. It was a near religious experience to hold it in my hand again. "I made this, this is my work. The only thing I'd leave behind if I died tomorrow." (Besides mediocre poetry and short stories of course.)

My moustache is growing nicely. I can kinda twirl it now. If I had the right clothes, I wouldn't look out of place from a 100 year old photo. Which feels kinda weird to think about.
I'm going to get rid of the beard because of the masks, but when I'm taking the exam, no one will know I have a moustache because of the mask. Epic.
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No. 40908
97 kB, 1222 × 1492
Today I had to use Excel.

>Keep hitting enter instead of Alt+enter
>Constantly losing my place
>Have to spend half an hour working on the documents overall presentation
>When I commission this work out to people they're going to resent me for making them work in Excel and they probably won't do it

In my old office we had a dedicated team who would knock this stuff together like magic or I'd just literally use anything but excel for getting information to people like a normal human being. How I miss those halcyon days when I didn't spend all day shouting at boxes for what should be 15 minutes work and our collective troubles consisted of a bit of heavy snow and a children's football team in Thailand getting stuck in a cave.

>>40903
Does it come with any perks?

>>40904
I'll trade your planet-wide transcendence for that 1939 Peace on Earth cartoon where we all go extinct from trench warfare.

I'm unsure whether it's a new condition. Surely apocalyptic visions from multiple different schools of thought is nothing new and people have been able to pick and choose their style since the invention of the printing press?
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No. 40909
>>40908
>Surely apocalyptic visions from multiple different schools of thought is nothing new and people have been able to pick and choose their style since the invention of the printing press?

Since the apocalypse is even in the bible I don't actually know for sure since I'm not baptized and gen y it's ofc nothing new, what is new is the variety of forms in which the apocalypse appears, the frequency, the spread and the overall persistence of apocalpytic visions and a negative vision of the future. Compare it to 1960s planning and boom of futurologies that painted a consumer paradise which all kinds of comfort. Who would do that today? I admit some people still believe in THE technological fix etc. The article also stated that there was a break in early modern times, when the static trancendence of god was replaced by a contigent future. Today possible progress often has been replaced by the probabilities of incoming catastrophes that will sweep over us. There have been thoughts about a precautionary mindset in the present: It will come, the question will be if we are prepared pandemic, terror attacks etc. Risk mindset is "older", is still calculatory I guess, meaning there is the chance of it not habbening. Whereas precaution work with the premise of habbeings taking place and it becomes a matter of resilience.
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No. 40910
>>40903
I was under suspicion that I had the assburgers, and so did some of my family. So after whatever I took an exam and surprise, not autistic, just schizotypal.
In hindsight, it makes sense but I don't know if it's the hope that something about myself is understandable, or quantifiable/able to be categorized.
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No. 40912
2,1 MB, 9 pages
>>40910
I have never done any tests and I never will.
Why would I want to be labelled with a discreet illness (that is nearly impossible to get rid of) when I can just chalk it up to a personality trait?
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No. 40913
>>40912
out of curiosity i did a short medical pre-exam for a more comprehensive assburger assessment once and scored over 40 of 50 points. neurotypicals would score in that test about 20 points max. however, i chose to not take the big assessment, because i don't want to get involved with assburger psychologists et al. i believe even if i was officially diagnosed with assburger's it wouldn't change a thing for me irl, except that i would've obtained an "official" stigma and probably had to go to therapy now and then while my condition (if i have one) apparently does not cause big problems in real life. yes, i'm highly introverted and prefer to be alone most of the time, however i'm not anti-social in a way dangerous or negative towards other people and i'm not a bitter r9k kissless virgin either. i have absolutely zero sense of humour though, that is, i don't laugh nor smile (when i do, it likely looks awkward, so i stopped bothering), i'm completely unable of being funny (includes "shitposting"), i tend to miss the point with jokes often and i have problems recognizing when a person isn't serious about something, in fact it's generally not easy for me to decipher what people indicate with their facial and body expressions. i absolutely hate lies of all sorts (including little lies for the sake of not hurting feelings) and i also know that people are getting bored rather quickly when i explain something, so i try to avoid getting into such situations. basically, if it's possible for me to keep a healthy distance from the center of attention i'm fine.
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No. 40918
94 kB, 800 × 570
So I bought some music machine which is manufactured in China (ofc). I bought it last weekend and it said 5-7 weeks until delivery. On sunday I saw a Behringer video from late march/early april where they said the chinese factory is slowly starting production again. Just today I recived my shipping notification. 5 weeks earlier then planned. I was a bit pissed that this edition of the machine would take so long for me to holdin my hands but then I thought it is good because it won't distract me from my uni work which has to be in priority mode now. Well, we will see if I can manage, no?
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No. 40926
>>40913
This basically, I was worried because even though I practised smalltalk a lot, every "friend" I had just stopped wanting to have things to do with me. Oh well, I had decided not to care even before the test.

But the only thing that changed is "Apparently I am an especially sucky human :(" to "So I'm what they call Assburger :)" - I finally know what is "wrong" with me. Still I will continue as usual.

>>40908
No perks per se, but luckily I happen to be somewhat intelligent (always knew that) and they also tested my concentration potential which also turned out above average, so I have very little of the typical aspie problems because I'm good at adapting.

I constantly drop and forget things though.

Still I prefer my life to that of the normies every day. It always takes a bit of time to understand, but then you DO understand as opposed to them. Literal sheeple.