/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

Currently at Radio Ernstiwan:


Hail Odin! by Christenklatscher666

M3U - XSPF


File (max. 4)
Return to
(optional)
  • Allowed file extensions (max. size 25 MB or specified)
    Images:  BMP, GIF, JPG, PNG, PSD   Videos:  FLV, MP4, WEBM  
    Archives:  7Z, RAR, ZIP   Audio:  FLAC, MP3, OGG, OPUS  
    Documents:  DJVU (50 MB), EPUB, MOBI, PDF (50 MB)  
  • Please read the Rules before posting.
  • Make sure you are familiar with the Guide to Anonymous Posting.

No. 41834
399 kB, 1000 × 667
This is going to be an odd thread, but I don't really know what other imageboard to post this on(especially with that other place full of horrible people) but I want to be able to talk about this. How many here are old enough to be fathers now with their own kids? Or at least would want to one day? After many years of struggle I finally found a gf and two months ago she gave birth to a healthy baby boy I am very proud and happy to call my son.

It's been a real rollercoaster of emotions ever since, feeling highs of joy and despair at the same time. It's quite unlike anything I've ever experienced before, on one hand I'm really proud and happy to have a son but on the other hand I'm now suddenly terrified by this fear that I might end up being an inadequate father and end up with a fucked up human being. How do I not fuck this up? Parenthood is fucking terrifying, I've already given a lot of thought to not repeating my own father's mistakes, what else should I keep in mind?
>>
No. 41835
>>41834
>and two months ago she gave birth to a healthy baby boy I am very proud and happy to call my son
Wow, congrats to you!

>How do I not fuck this up?
Little children - little problems, big children - big problems. Somewhat 20 years of parenthood are in the front, so it's going to be a long trip.
I guess it is a hard question and the answer to this question is going to change over time.

I'd teach him a language or two before school but that's for later.
>>
No. 41836
I'm old enough by now, late twenties, got my ex pregnant two times the second time I'm not sure if it was planned by her, so my ships down their work well I guess, but my gf was a) too thin and b) had an illness that take toll on her including being quite thin. I would have been a father by now but let's say maybe it's good I'm not rn.
But I want children one day, ideally 2-3.
I can only imagine that it is terrifying as shit and also quite a drainer on your power, small children got so much energy, I'm an uncle of two so far.
I guess you will make mistakes like every parent does, hold up the bond and teach him things but let him explore on his own as well. But this is vague. Yeah, it is a big open that cannot be gone by a manual and I guess that is the terrifying shit: There is no blueprint and besides some obvious actions one should avoid or take, there is a big space left to oneself as a parent.
One thing I would do is talk with them a lot as long as they are small, so they will be quickly able to speak and that hopefully well.
>>
No. 41837
34 kB, 1024 × 576
I dunno. Not on my agenda so never thought about it. Relationships kill man, seen too many cool people fall off because of the biological clock. Whatever you do though, don't teach them to be fucking whitebread, world's bad enough with the current number of those slobs in it.
>>
No. 41852
>>41834
>How many here are old enough to be fathers now with their own kids?
I'm 30, so yes.

>Or at least would want to one day?
Maybe when I manage to find someone with whom it'd seem like a good idea at that point, i. e. a stable relationship, both wanting ideally two children, being financially doing well enough and such. And if I manage to drop my "youthful" shenanigans like visiting friends in other cities to get drunk in shady bars every other (pre-corona) weekend by that point. I'd also like to visit China once before.
I'm currently falling into some kind of open relationship, so seeing where this leads. But rationally seen it's probably not gonna be a longterm thing, because she is planning to move to another town later this year. And it's def. not the point in time for her to have a child the next few years. But we'll see where it goes.

>After many years of struggle I finally found a gf and two months ago she gave birth to a healthy baby boy I am very proud and happy to call my son.
Congratulations!
>>
No. 41853
52 kB, 580 × 571
>>41834
>on one hand I'm really proud and happy to have a son but on the other hand I'm now suddenly terrified by this fear that I might end up being an inadequate father and end up with a fucked up human being.
Congrats, and don't worry about it too much, you've a long time to get it right and you'll get a lot of shitty advice over the years.

The only advice I can really give you as a father of 3 is
>don't be a tyrant
gets are gonna break shit, wreck your head and wreck your house, sometimes you should just let them off because otherwise you'll ruin your own sanity trying to get them to do what you want them to do. But you're not really gonna be able to explain things properly to them until they're like 6 years old, so just do whatever works and don't break your own balls yet
>listen to their concerns
A lot of parents end up in a habit of just not listening to what's on their mind or yelling at them or being mentally drained from all the questions and so they just don't listen anymore, but try to remind yourself (when the kiddo is older, like 3+ and can talk) to listen to what's on their mind and don't just dismiss things because you're busy.

Also, the more kids you have the less you can do with them and the more difficult it gets, having a second kid isn't just twice the work, it's exponentially more difficult that having just the one.
>>
No. 41854
>>41853
>gets
I meant kids
>>
No. 41856
262 kB, 1124 × 1024
Congrats, OP!

I'm old enough that I should be dad by now, at least all of my friends already are. I always wanted to have a family and kids, but it never worked out with girls. Pretty strange, when I look back at my youth, I was worried a lot about things like what to do with my life, me not being able to make a living, me not getting girls because I'd be poor, me not being able to support a family. But none of that happened. Every prerequisite which I thought would be necessary to have a family was met, in fact I was surprised how well everything worked out.

But I still didn't get girls (at least not for longer than a few weeks). I can't really say why, probably I'm just too assburger for relationships. So I've kinda closed that chapter in my life. Feels bad, but overall things could have gone much, much worse, so I'm ok with it.
>>
No. 41857
1,9 MB, 370 × 232, 0:07
>>41834
>How many here are old enough to be fathers now with their own kids?
I'm almost 31, so I should've been a father by now, but I don't have any interest in relationships and I'm unlikely to develop it. Although even if I had that interest, I would certainly fail miserably trying to build a relationship, because I'm a wizard with little to none experience with the opposite sex.

>How do I not fuck this up?
The only advice that comes to mind is that you should remember that your kids are not you: they may have different interests, dreams and aspirations than you have, they are not some RPG characters that you rolled, so if they turned out to be not exactly what you expected of them, you shouldn't scold or obstruct them. Of course, if they become some human trash like junkies, drunkards, gambler etc., feel free to whip it out of them XDDDD.
>>
No. 41858
Was my agenda for the longest time. Somehow, nobody got pregnant, nothing lasted. This is now no longer my agenda and I don't even remotely consider it. privately I've come to understand the best thing to settle for is either pursuing your own hobbies, or pursuing wealth and power, but you are unlikely to be able to do bothI am no beyond extraordinarily and unapologetically selfish with my time and don't even feel like putting in the effort to give a shit about friends or anyone I consider unlikely to truly be loyalty have mu back. This includes drunkards and drug users categorically.
>>
No. 41861
>>41853
Having more than one kid is worth it though, being a single kid never knowing what it's like to having siblings is awful.
>>
No. 41862
>>41834
Awesome. I want to be too actually. However it's abosluetly impossible scenario for gay couple in post-USSR, and I don't wat rise kinds in post-USSR anyway... same as I poor and I don't want be responsible for someone's life be lived here. Also I kind of fear abut this responsibility in general, espessialy when kid become teenager and later.
>>
No. 41866
>>41862
>However it's abosluetly impossible scenario for gay couple in post-USSR
Fucked up world we live in, let's hope silly things like this will be considered a dark past in the future.
>>
No. 41871
>How many here are old enough to be fathers now with their own kids? Or at least would want to one day?

I'm in my 30s so yes. Its just surprisingly hard to find someone your willing to spend your whole life with.
There's a chance I might already be a father going by the math with a single mother who now has 3 kids by different fathers. God help me if, after finding out I've done something with my life, she comes out with a positive DNA test.

>How do I not fuck this up?

You apparently only need to be a good parent 1/3 of the time. Chill.
Try not to lose your temper or break character.
You need to be a united front with his mother and not fall out of sync where you're always the discipline.
You're obligated to socialise with other parents now and they're an important network to build. Just don't be shocked that immature cliques exist like you're school.

From what I've seen, a child's behaviour is mostly a luck game. I'm sure you've seen parents who suffer from absolute little shits and others who seemingly never have to raise their voice.

t.used to work in a nursery

>>41852
I like how closely our posts match up. Such cases on how dating changes as soon as you hit 30.
>>
No. 41876
129 kB, 1280 × 640
>>41853
This post has the most important advice imho.

If you are too busy to sit down and listen to what your kids have to say, then don't have kids. Do NOT confuse this with acknowledging that they said something and giving a relpy on auto-pilot. Your child learns from your behaviour, not from the words you come up with. What you say will not translate 100% and there will be a difference between what you mean and what will be understood. Verbal language is highly inaccurate. Observed behaviour has much, much more influence than the words that leave your mouth.
So if you aren't able to stop whatever you are doing right now and accept that you will be interrupted for how ever long because someone else wants something from you then you aren't ready to have kids and treat them well.
You could translate this as "The shit I'm doing atm is more important than whatever you are doing".
Having kids means there is now something that needs to be treated as more important than <your favorite thing here>.

For illustrative purpose here is an example of the worst kind of parent (by modern standards for "western" perspectives):
You're a babysitter or something along those lines and around noon some parents from the neighbourhood are ringing to drop off their child until evening. They say this: "Hello, I'm in a hurry, this is Tommy, I'll be back around 9 to pick him up, he will probably not eat but that's okay".

Keep in mind that people who end up like that don't set out to be bad parents, they are likely to consider themselves good parents who treat their child well because they never once lost their temper and hit them etc.

There are a million things to remember and no ultimate truth; in my experience a few vivid negative examples like that can help you stay on track.

Yes, I'm in my 30s as well, fancy that.
>>
No. 41884
>>41876
>So if you aren't able to stop whatever you are doing right now and accept that you will be interrupted for how ever long because someone else wants something from you then you aren't ready to have kids and treat them well.
>You could translate this as "The shit I'm doing atm is more important than whatever you are doing".
This is why I'm entirely ill suited for kids right now at least emotionally. "I don't have time I'm willing to spend on anyone but me" has become my mantra lately.
>>
No. 41920
107 kB, 600 × 480
>It's been a real rollercoaster of emotions ever since, feeling highs of joy and despair at the same time. It's quite unlike anything I've ever experienced before, on one hand I'm really proud and happy to have a son but on the other hand I'm now suddenly terrified by this fear that I might end up being an inadequate father and end up with a fucked up human being. How do I not fuck this up? Parenthood is fucking terrifying, I've already given a lot of thought to not repeating my own father's mistakes, what else should I keep in mind?

As long as you never, ever, stop reflecting upon your actions and are consciously willing to do your very best even if it's draining and painful, you should be golden. Also, always be a good example.

#1 rule for unneccesary worries (that are those about the future, that you can't influence): If you have time and energy to worry about those, you also have enough capacity for another kid.

Seriously, together they have so much more to learn and grow. They also will have each other in this world where everyone is increasingly distant from each other, when you're gone. Please do your kid the favour of having a sibling (and raise them both well so they don't resent each other).
>>
No. 41924
>>41920
I think most people notice that only children are much more likely to have something... off about them. Not inevitable, but the lack of sibling socialization can lead to neuroses. Doubly so now that every kid is a phone-mediated social retard.
>>
No. 41928
>>41866
I don't belive it'll change soon really. 2/3 of nations on earth is different levels of outdated societies from 19 centuary mentality to pre-historic age tribes. But thanks for support :)[\spoiler]
>>
No. 41929
>>41861
I dunno about that, you'll have friends from creche, school etc. and your parents can focus 100% on you (which may make it doubly painful if you end up a fuckup).

Growing up with incredibly shitty siblings can be a curse, take it from me, both my brother and sister were both 5 years older than me and wanted nothing to do with me. My brother once walked past me as I was getting my head kicked in on the footpath 20 feet away.

>>41866
While preventing gays, lesbians, trannys etc. from adopting kids (or having them) is a violation of their rights, at the same time their kids rarely end up normal, and child abuse among gay couples is substantially higher. I would not wish that fate on any kid, because it's the flip of a coin weather or not it's gonna get sexually abused.

>>41871
>she comes out with a positive DNA test.
She has to get your DNA first, and for that needs consent, you can just deny it forever. She could take you to court where your denials would look suspicious, but you'd probably get away with it if she's already got a heap of kids by different men.

>>41920
>Please do your kid the favour of having a sibling (and raise them both well so they don't resent each other).
Funny that the boomers who raised myself and my missus seemed to always foster resentment between their children, like some kind of feudalism
>>
No. 41934
>>41929
>While preventing gays, lesbians, trannys etc. from adopting kids (or having them) is a violation of their rights, at the same time their kids rarely end up normal, and child abuse among gay couples is substantially higher. I would not wish that fate on any kid, because it's the flip of a coin weather or not it's gonna get sexually abused.
Thank you, always glad to hear that I subhuman.
>>
No. 41938
>>41934
It is not "subhuman" to be gay and the irishman did not imply it.
It's also not subhuman to not have children and not to reproduce, many good people did not and many people bringing culture forward were gay. Maybe you find other things to live for.
There yet have to be studies about LGBT couples adopting children and how harmful it can be, but for sure there are some such couples whose relationship to their adopted children borders to or quite simply is child abuse - I think of that family in the vice documentary, where the agender parents tried to raise their kids in an agender way, which was really fucked up and sad to watch. The kid was so utterly confused that it even mumbled smth along the lines of "I don't want you to always ask me that question" when its parent asked it if it felt like a girl or a boy today.
The comment section was outraged and disgusted, among them were also a lot of LGBT people.

Still, then obviously you might ask: "But don't cishet couples abuse their children as well often? How can you point that out as something inherent to LGBT families?"
And you would be right with it, at least partially. Only partially because the fight obviously is not only about adoption rights, it's a whole culture war burining amidst our times.
And as an LGBT person, you don't have to think that the traditionalist side in this war thinks of you as subhuman or anything, it's just the gender ideology that is fought against.
We will soon see that this war will be even more intense than today with the gender ideologues cracking up between so called TERFs and transinclusive feminists. The latter will join the right on the long run and things will even out again.

I personally feel sorry for the way gay people are treated in Russia and can understand that you might feel hate against the society reproducing stereotypes of pedophilia etc.
Nonetheless traditionalism and right-wing thought does n o t have to be homophobic.
>>
No. 41939 Kontra
>>41834
>How many here are old enough to be fathers now with their own kids?
I am old enough (35)
>Or at least would want to one day?
I would want to

But women only want rich successful turbo-chads. even with two kids, they rather go for a re-cycled chad.

Of course, they are genetically hard-wierd to breed with successful winners, not worthless losers like me. I get that. Even as young as fifteen, they go for the winners, not the inferior low-value losers like me. I am such a worthless piece of shit. Whenever I tried to show interest in a woman, her reaction was
>ewww, yikes, you creepy pervert
while Chads can just go and grab her boobs her reaction is
>hihi Chad

They can smell from a mile of, that I am unworthy, low/value, defective, not good enough and never will be. When I was still an optimistic young fool, I thought
>those damn whores will become available once you make an above average salary after leaving uni
Now, I have achieved that and they still hate me. Meanwhile, the Chads who went to school with me make even more than me. It's because they are not only bigger and better-looking and cooler but also smarter.

Chads like Dshingis Khan father thousands, while I will never father even one child, and have slept with only one woman. She dumped me once she found out that I am subhuman worthless thrash. She's a whore like all other women and I bet she fucks another Chad now. 1 minute of Chad is worth 5 years of beta. 1 spoon of Chads cum is worth more than an entire room full of beta. Dick is cheap and abundant, finding Chad is what matters to the damn cunt whores. I wish I was dead.
>>
No. 41940 Kontra
>>41939
>is 35
>unironically makes this post
>>
No. 41941
>>41940
What's wrong with that post? I re-read it, and modulo bad spelling and bad syntax, it's the perfect reflection of reality as I experienced it. You probably are better-looking than me, so your experiences diverge. Cunts want the top-dogs, the silver-backs, the winners. Strong kid locks weak kid into a locker => he will fuck another girl in less than two hours. Kid in the locker? That's me.
>>
No. 41943
>>41938
I think that individual rights is one of the main ideas of western society and philosophy. And of cource I don't want to hear things like "You should not have this right because you different from others" or even more - "specific group of people should not have rights because some statistic".
Adoption of child is not something "you pick baby and go". It's work of government services and departaments to check people and follow all procedures to be shure it'll be good and safe place for child. Adopt baby is even harder task than just have family and born it actually, because you don't have parent rights by default but should earn them. If they think gay couples abuse kids - fine, just check them more before give a kid. But not "resolve" ""problem"" by eleminating it blindly.

And yes, I can say that in russia, where everything like that forbidden, even child adoption by parents from different countries now, levels of abuse of kids is innormous. Orphanages is GULag subsidiaries. Beating kid is something perfectly normal, same as attitude towards kids as some trash. Like basicly in all third world countries that "bravely fights gay propoganda".
>>
No. 41944
>>41941
Needing to bully someone is a sign of weakness. A lot of the bullies in my school ended up becoming total losers and they weren't doing great with women in school anyway. The fact that you're confusing being a complete asshole with something like aggression or confidence isn't surprising to me though. It's partly what makes 4kanker so funny because all their warped memes and twisted thinking is clearly the product of utterly inferior males sharing their theories on what women want and what being a "chad" looks like. They have no idea how the game operates so clearly they think of alpha males in this fashion, and then when they decide to "get confident" they end up just acting like bullying assholes or total creeps and then proceed to assume they're having shit luck with the ladies still because they're physically deformed or too short or some ridiculous nonsense about something physical they cannot change, rather than the much, much more painful factual reality of being rejected directly based on their shit personality and ugly behavior, which ironically is actually something that they CAN change but simply choose not to because they're a bunch of lazy fucks who want a quick route into some girl's panties.

Women will be drawn to you based on being charismatic. Picking on someone you think is weaker than you is not charismatic and betrays an inner lack of confidence if you're physically pushing people into lockers.

As an addendum, they probably also don't understand how to be truly selfless and interested in the womanor at least pretend to be well and how to sacrifice things like their time or their rigid personal routines and outlooks, and don't understand how to be genuinely nice to a girl as opposed to being nice because you just want to fuck them. Here's a great PROTIP: let women talk. Everybody likes to talk about themselves one way or another, or just about. Women most especially. Just sit there for an hour listening to a girl go on and on about herself. Find something you genuinely think is interesting about her. Key in on it. Let her talk about that more. Learn how to go uhuh yeah hmm oh well why is that while she's talking, sometimes even if you're not terribly interested at the moment. Memorize a few key details of the conversation--this shouldn't be hard for you. Bring it up later. Be thoughtful. These are the kinds of behaviors that absolute betas think makes you a "cuck" and then don't understand why being a self centered asshole isn't working. They also probably don't understand that you might be able to get away with that in the short term with certain girls, but it never works for long and in fact a good portion of the girls fucking assholes are doing it because they genuinely want a dumpster with a dick attached to it that they can fuck and leaveif you've ever experienced anything like this, no, it is not pleasant, it is incredibly insulting and hurtful. I've had more than one female friend tell me things along the lines of "well I'd rather hook up with a psychopath because then I can just fuck and leave him and use him for sex without feeling guilty about hurting him afterward." What some betas do not seem to understand is they don't want that they crave a girl's hand to hold--that is why some of them fall asleep cradling anime pillows.

More likely than not they haven't had strong male role models either compounding the problem of them not knowing how to act and being fuck ups, and it wouldn't surprise me if a fair share of them resented their mothers or are single mother homes who secretly despise their mothers as "whores" for not being with the father. Also PROTIP women are often very good at picking up on that. The key equation on a woman's mind as a metric is actually "how is he with kids" "how is he with small animals" "what is his relationship with his mother." A lot of women pay attention to this and are going to figure it out. Of course, meeting the parents is a later stage thing but one thing to be deeply mindful of as she's analyzing your attitudes.

Oh, and might as well just throw this thing in there be careful about letting a woman know you're analyzing her. Women hate that shit. I guess it's a fine line at times considering the aforementioned "be interested in her" but analyzing women makes them uncomfortable. I've theorized that this is partly because women are by default very self conscious and overly analytical creatures, and so you "overanalyzing" at once makes her that much more self conscious about everything that she is doing and thus less sure, more unconfident in her own thoughts and actions, less likely to go forward, more liable to feel shame, idk. Then there's the fact they rely on their strengths and so some women in particular may get pissed off because now she's lost her sole advantage with men other than looks with you blowing right past any stupid games she wants to play or her little "tests" lots of women like to pull or whatever other bullshit, or so goes my theory on that. I'm not overly sure about why women hate analysis tbh, but don't do that at least don't do it enough for her to notice it much.
>>
No. 41945 Kontra
>>41941
I guess there are plenty of people who got bullied as school kids or lost at one point in life. Your reasoning is faulty as there do exist many "emiprical" counter examples. In the end you think reality is some dumbed down darwinian process. You could reflect on that or just stay where you are, given that you are that old and frustrated it is likely that you will stick to what you have built yourself and internalized.
People always complain about Idiocracy is at the doorstep, so loosers are definitely likely to reproduces, people who have small money, perhaps a bad education or even bad genetics. You bring in money which is something that is not even a precursor of animal biology. I guess you will be lucky that there do exist science people who think about cultural evolution as well. Anyway, evolution might be more complex than the version you present to us as your worldview. Since I give you contra you can expect I'm for irreducibility of X to Y.

t. other german
>>
No. 41948 Kontra
>>41944
>Needing to bully someone is a sign of weakness.
Being able to bully someone is a sign of strength.

>A lot of the bullies in my school ended up becoming total losers and they weren't doing great with women in school anyway.
That's the complete opposite of what I experienced. One of my former bullies is now a successful hiphop-artist. He did well with women then, I don't think it has changed. He was smart, unconventional, witty, creative, a rebel and he insulted and bullied people left and right. He know makes a living of it by rapping about being such a gigantic asshole.

>The fact that you're confusing being a complete asshole with something like aggression or confidence isn't surprising to me though.
The two concepts are utterly indistinguishable. The only difference is in perspective. People use 'confidence' when they talk about themselves, their family and their friends and 'asshole' when they talk about their opponents.

>It's partly what makes 4kanker so funny because all their warped memes and twisted thinking is clearly the product of utterly inferior males
>utterly inferior males
So basically you agree with me. There are inferior worthless pieces of shit like me. If you think that, then why did you even voice your disagreement? Contradicting people you fundamentally agree with is pointless.

>They have no idea how the game operates
>the game
I read some books on that 'game'. I read German-language favorite "Lob des Sexismus" three times. The title translates to 'An Accolade of Sexism'. The German PUA-scene loved it, back in the 00s. In it, an Austrian tells his reader to be cool, to have tons of friends, to go to a three parties per week and to 'spin many plates'. Basically, he tells his reader to just be one of the cool guys, bro. He also has examples, little anecdotes where he tells us how cool he acted in this or that situation. The reader is supposed to copy his behavior. I never even tried, it would just be ridiculous and fake. If I behaved like that, even an idiot could see that I'm just a loser pretending to be a cool guy.

>More likely than not they haven't had strong male role models either compounding the problem of them not knowing how to act and being fuck ups, and it wouldn't surprise me if a fair share of them resented their mothers or are single mother homes who secretly despise their mothers as "whores" for not being with the father. Also PROTIP women are often very good at picking up on that.
My father died when I was seven. My mother could have dealt with my two younger siblings, but she hated my guts for existing and sucking up resources. Resources like food or a few ill-fitting clothes handed down to me from my younger cousin (those rags could have gone straight to my younger brother instead) and a place to sleep. But she will never admit that she hated me for existing. When he was still alive, my father scared the shit out of me. He mocked me, he scolded me, he hit me.
When I was four, he tried to teach me soccer. I remember an afternoon of him yelling at me, in the presence of a ball. I just couldn't do what he wanted me to do. We walked home in silence, him angry and disappointed, I sad and beaten. He often compared me to my younger brother. One time, he sat my brother and me behind the wheel of the family car, and let us steer, like a stereotypical dad from a fucking Springsteen-song.
At that point, I practically shat my pants whenever my father was around. I was nervous, and I did everything wrong. Then, he let my younger brother try. And my younger brother did better than I. MUCH better. He told me that my younger brother had done much better, and that I would never be able to drive. I begged for another chance, but he wouldn't give me another chance. I had failed one more time. To my father, I embodied disappointment.
So CONGRATULATIONS on the successful application of folk psychology.
Still, it taught me a thing or two. Most people who had loving parents see life and other humans through rose-tinted glasses. I see people for what they really are.

>Picking on someone you think is weaker than you is not charismatic and betrays an inner lack of confidence if you're physically pushing people into lockers.
Weird. The guy who actually pushed me into a locker in 8th grade got laid all the time. And he didn't only push, he pushed me in, shut the door, locked it and left me there until a teacher found me. That was, of course, not the only thing him and his friends and many other kids did to me over the years. On various occasions, I was held by two guys and kicked in the nuts by a third. For quite some time, that was my daily morning routine. Before I entered the school building, I was kicked in the balls a few times. Once, in fourth grade, I was pinned to the ground by four kids, and had my pants pulled down by a fifth, then they called the girls to look at my pre-pubescent dick. They forced one girl to suck me, then they mocked me for not getting hard. I just had enough time left to cover myself when the teacher arrived. In later years, there sometimes was cum on my jeans after gym class, and it sure as heck wasn't my cum. I was never raped anally, but it was a close call. Minor shit like twisted arms happened daily.

And boy, the girls were into this guy who locked me into that locker. One girl said
>Andi, don't lock little Ernst into lockers, it's not his fault that he's such a spaz.
45 minutes later, that girl made out with him. Why? The fuck do I know, I'm not a mind-reader. But the girls were into those guys, that's for sure.

>beta
You keep using that word. So ALPHA=WINNERS and BETA=LOSERS do exist. Why write a long post to tell me how I'm wrong when you basically agree with me?

>her little tests
=shittests. Your post reads 'PUA in fifteen lines or less'.

>>41945
>I guess there are plenty of people who got bullied as school kids or lost at one point in life. Your reasoning is faulty as there do exist many "emiprical" counter examples.
So? There also are many women with small breasts who landed reasonably attractive husbands. Still, men like big boobs better and women like bullies better. If a woman hears that man was at one point in his life was bullied, she stops seeing him as a man. She instead perceives him as a needy little puppy at best or a piece of shit on her shoe at worst. You can see it in their eyes when it happens. I chatted with a woman in a bar, friend walks up, tells her how they once did this and that mean thing to me, she's gone. It happened more than once.

>darwinian
>animal
>idiocracy
What does that have to do with anything? Sorry for not seeing the connection. I just would have liked to lead a normal fucking life like a normal fucking person, that's all. I didn't get that. The guys who bullied me did. As simple as that.

>You bring in money which is something that is not even a precursor of animal biology
It sure as hell is good indicator of life success in conventional western society. And yes, women are more attracted to wealthy men. But the effect of body height, for example, is by far greater.

I'm unable to make sense of the rest your post. It reads like a word-by-word translation of your train of thought. Your writing style is similar to that of a guy who posted on kohlchan's /int/ back in 2014. You are not, perchance, the "knower of things"?
>>
No. 41956 Kontra
>>41948
>Still, men like big boobs better and women like bullies better.

Nah, I like firm boobs better so I'd take small breast (which are often firm) over saggy fat bags. And in general I've never gotten the hype about big boobs, I'm not an Irishman so I favor smaller tbh.
You naturalize and thus universalize everything, no wonder you have a darwinist/evolutionist perspective in which everything is determined by selection processes based on a few parameters reductionism. To me it seems like a watered down version of darwinian evolution theory you find online, especially on imageboards. I told you that you have that and then told you you could reflect on your own worldview and how that shapes you as a person. I don't know if you always had that view of how things work, but... your attitude is a terrible turn off, I can say for sure, your world is a cage which is nothing I would flatout deny but a cage is not a cage, you know, only conceptually. The supossed borders of the cage of humanity have been pushed more than once. Everything unsurpsrisingly looking at what you experienced. Still I don't think it's determined all and closed as you imagine it to be according to what you experienced.
Maybe you just hang around with the wrong people, your "friends" ruining a talk with a girl etc etc etc. You are fast on stubborn determination I guess my whole post is like a mean attack to you since you interalized a darwinian perspective (and you are 35 which means quite a few years of frustration and internalization having passed). I don't deny hierarchies btw. we are not living in a fluffy world, but it's not on train tracks either.
How did university go for you socially?

>I see people for what they really are I didn't read the whole part

You are likely not.
You are just determined and additionally to that negative because of what you lived, unsurprisingly. Making universalist claims does not make them true. I can understand why you are negative, your life sounds like hell, but you have to understand that it in-forms you in who you are. Reflection could have gotten you out of that, perhaps, but I guess the "treatment" you received was a very forcful teacher literally.

>So?

You said cunts only want top dogs, just go into a random village and you can see that most people are not top dogs and still have slayed some pussy. Examples don't make a law. Counterexamples will show that. That is all I wanted to point out.
>>
No. 41967
>>41943
I think it's clear that we're argueing from different angles of the world and different experiences.
While for you in Russia "normal" families might very well just be what's the most common, here the fractured post-family or non-existing family and culture of being an atomized individual in a hyperliberal society is what's most common.
I really think that you would not like it.
You know, I'd give every LGBT the right to adopt children if they just cut it with the parades and gender stuff and let things be they are.
You might see it as a form of progress now but as far as I think it's really mostly a cancer of society. Not so much the LGBt-Agenda itself, but rather this coked up liberalism as a whole. On the long term it will negate its own "progresses" anyways by inviting over millions of men from countries, where people with other sexual orientations are thrown from buildings.
So, be careful what you wish for. I think what's fucked about russia and the east is, that they got the whole dose of western degeneracy in a few centuries. We will yet have to see the effects, on the long run it will probably completely destabilize your society. I tell you, Russia would be even more of hellhole mordor then. Be happy as long as you still have a couple functioning families.
>>
No. 41968
>>41948
Believe this man >>41956 please. To unfuck your relationship to women you at first need to unfuck yourself and stop being so toxic to y o u r s e l f.
It's about you and how you perceive yourself, not about how a woman perceives you.
Trust me on that one: "Sexual hierarchies" or the so called chad/beta dynamic as it can be found in the works of the nations leading bro scientists just doesn't exist as you think it does.
There are guys you would think are total alphas but actually are emotional cripples who cry when their gf wants to sleep with them. Others are fat slobs playing videogame and have good sex with their happy gf.
People have different concepts of love and partnership, the world revolves in a thousand different tones of grey - you're not making yourself a gift by seeing it in black and white.
Please stop.
>>
No. 42006
>>41968
Believe this man when he tells you to believe the other man.

t. third man
>>
No. 42008
>>42006
Always trust a German
t. foreigner
>>
No. 42029
>>41967
There is no difference between people from both "left" and "right" sides who think that it's right to enforce reduction of human rights based on thier "view of ideal society". If you so don't want "cancers of society" and "ideal world" - build death prison camp for yourself where you will feel yourself happy, don't enforce others live in it just because some people don't fit in your twisted vision of ideal world.

Living in countries where pseudo-socialism and authoritarism is major part of society, you feel only disgust towards anyone who saying how you "should" live. And yes, it's only leed to degradation, even if it present good looking picture from outside sometimes. Living as some sort of retarded herd will never make anything better for making.

Open societly show all imperfections of individuals, but only it allow for persons to evolve spiritually and mentally.
>>
No. 42039
>>41834
Take comfort in the fact that bad parents (and people in general) will never ask themselves if they are good.
Self awareness is like 50% of the job
The rest of the job is being present in your child's life and being strict and firm ehen you need too.
>>
No. 42051 Kontra
406 kB, 800 × 533
>>41968
>>41967
I think hard about what both of you wrote. I don't quite get it, I'm sorry.

>How did university go for you socially?
Not at all, mostly. Pic related is what I never had. Sometimes, someone took pity on me and allowed me to tag along. I walked through the park on my way to uni, and as soon as it was 15°C, it was full of topless dudes playing frisbe or volleyball. I walked by, trying to not look left or right and at least keep an upright posture. I never was able to throw or catch. I was miserably bad at billiards and darts.

I knew a Serbian girl in uni, she used me as a live teddy bear. She always told me about other dudes. One time, she told me
>I really like X. He told me how he fucks another girl every week. He goes to $club, and he stays until they close. Then, he blocks a hot girls way so she has to talk to him, and then he has sex with her. He's so ***honest***
another time, she told me
>I dreamt I slept with X. I had an orgasm in my sleep. When I woke up, my panties were all wet.
One time, she undressed in my pressence. Then, she turned around and said
>Oh, I forgot you are men.
(leaving out the article, slav-style.)
How was that supposed to make me feel? Did she torture me out of stupidity or just for the fun of it?
One night, we went out together, we had fun, etc. Our friendship ended when one night, she slept at my place and I took up all my courage and pressed her hand against my cheek. She just said 'let's sleep'. Things never were the same.

I had a gf once, after I got a job and a flat. I though maybe I wasn't such a loser after all, so I tried. All was well in the beginning. Then she expected me to get a better job that paid more and a better flat, and she expected me to work wonders. Like, she looked over my shoulder when I worked from home on a Sunday and basically expected that I would create market-ready software all alone, in one afternoon. No joke. The precondition to our relationship was that I was superman.
She constantly told me about her first boyfriend, how great he was, how good it was that they were still friends, and how awesome their recent trip together to a European capital had been. I read between the lines that he had cheated on her, and more than once, then dumped her. She told me how much money he made in his side-business breeding fish and so on. I tolerated all of that, I tried to be patient, understanding, I listened to her. Then she dumped me. I wasn't good enough for her. Now, she won't even let me talk to her.

What am I supposed to think? I'm not good enough and never will be. If she expected me to be able to improve enough, she wouldn't have cut off all contact. She decided I'm shit and always will be, and she's probably right. It was years ago and still, she won't talk to me. I wish I could do time travel and visit myself at 3 years of age. I'd beat the living shit out of myself and force myself to improve. To do great at school, to become the best at everything, and to win, win, win and never lose. I'd beat myself within inches of my live for ever losing. God, would I beat the little shit. I'd knock all his teeth out.
>>
No. 42068
110 kB, 600 × 399
>>42051
>She constantly told me about her first boyfriend, how great he was, how good it was that they were still friends, and how awesome their recent trip together to a European capital had been
In this case the correct response in my opinion would have been: "Well, why don't you get tit surgery, cook every evening and give me 3 blowjobs a day, then you can make demands" or something like this, just to show her that she's being unreasonable here. People really should be told off when they make unreasonable demands like your old GF, otherwise they will believe that they are right (because you didn't stand up against it, so it must have been the truth, right?). And I actually found that telling such people off leads to gaining respect, instead of losing it, because they notice that they can't bully you around. Of course you risk that she'll pack her bags and leave, but she eventually did anyway. And from what I read here you should be glad that she's gone.

I noticed something that applies to most areas in life: There are people who complain a lot, and then everyone just assumes (even the people who receive the complaints) that the reason for this is that there is a lot to complain about. In reality more often than not the reason is that some people just love to complain, while other people mind their own business and don't care about constantly pointing out others (no matter if real or not) flaws. So if one person constantly complains about the other, it might be for a reason, but it also might be that the complaning person is just very, very, annoying.
>>
No. 55752
140 kB, 1024 × 672
Resurrecting quality thread.
Yet another German here. To the bully survivor, I really appreciate you writing about your ordeal here, thank you for that, I think it's important to know what people do to others. I mostly agree with everything you've written here and share those views (even though, as I'd like my fellow armchair psychologists ITT to note, I have neither been a target of bullies nor has my father mocked me) and am surprised that I seem to be alone with that in this thread. We could quibble about details: I wouldn't say that all or even most "women like bullies better" if that means that they prefer any bully over any useless bystander. But I do think that for most people, knowing or suspecting somebody has been or is being bullied is a bigger turn-off than knowing or suspecting somebody has been or is a bully.
To me, "accusing" Survivor Ernst of perceiving reality as a "dumbed down darwinian process" or of "seeing [the world] in black and white" feels unwarranted. But I very much agree with other German about "from what I read here you should be glad that she's gone".
>>41956
Even if your "village" is just an example and you weren't really talking about villages, it made me think that small villages with their stricter mutual social control probably function very differently when it comes to potentially disruptive behaviour such as bullying or other forms of being an asshole (but also other things like being gay or not wanting to participate in humiliating traditional rituals). Also reminded me of an interesting audio titled "The advent of injury inflicted from a distance" explaining how range weapons suddenly altered what social behaviour humans would or wouldn't get away with, which in turn reminds me of how the never forgetting internet might impact society as it has become impossible to migrate to a place where you can be sure nobody will find out that you've been a bully or have been bullied.
To steer this back to parenthood advice, the only sure way to save your own child from suffering abuse such as Survivor Ernst has related is of course not to have an own child in the first place.
>>
No. 55761
8 kB, 236 × 177
What a coincidence I caught a thread on parenting when one of mine left my sister and I for the first time yesterday and the other one hasn't been around for sometime
Anyways, I don't have much advice to offer considering I'm entering my twenties but I'd suggest you totally ban or at least severely limit the internet and or any digital use. I don't know if my memories are playing tricks on me but I remember my younger sister (who was bought a smartphone at age 11) having 'finer' social skills and my hypothesis is the screen has eroded it, to some extent anyway
Good luck!
>>
No. 55770
>>42051
>visit myself at 3 years of age. I'd beat the living shit out of myself and force myself to improve. To do great at school, to become the best at everything, and to win, win, win and never lose. I'd beat myself within inches of my live for ever losing. God, would I beat the little shit. I'd knock all his teeth out.

What a horrible conclusion to draw from all those experiences. Both those girls were just flat out horrible people, especially the gf.
If you think people will like you because you are succesfull you are mistaken, those arent real friends, they are leeches.
I would rather try to get to know people who genuinely appreciate you for who you are.
>>
No. 55771 Kontra
>>55770
Reading this I had to think of my evening yesterday meeting a person from class. One need to look for persons that are similar to you in their sensibilities, if you hang around people and try to win their appreciation even though they are dumb fuckers you are clearly doing something wrong you maybe have to fake interact with them like with so many strangers, where you don't want to be genuine but need to keep it functional. In the end, you have to befriend other outsiders and together you can support each other and exchange. The problem with outsiders that cater to entrepreneurial Darwinism these days is that they are not like the toxic integrated chad/stacy people they hate, nor are they like the other outsiders that built on mutual support and cooperation, they are neither, and this a kind of third outside: lone wolf mentality, but beaten dog reality.

Friends come from mutual interests and views, sentiments etc, not from success, which is measured in ideological categories.
>>
No. 55823
Asking myself if I would have children, would the magic "you're a father now" brain change happen or would it turn out as a scam and I'd have to force myself to not act like a shit dad all the time?
>>
No. 55824
139 kB, 500 × 1754
>>55823
>would the magic "you're a father now" brain change happen
I always am surprised at the fact that all of my pals (most of them fathers by now) would totally agree that I am a very untypical person, but still are 100 percent sure that if I were to father a child this would totally happen to me. Not sure if they are just trying to be polite. Maybe they lack the imagination that their own experience could not be transferrable to anybody. I like playing with children, but I don't confuse enjoying playing with happy children for 15 minutes with being able to deal with them 24/7. No way to tell though unless it happens, which is unlikely. I guess I'd go for it if given the opportunity, but I still would be worried about being a cold and emotionally distanced father.

Pic semirelated.
>>
No. 55826
>>55824
I don't get why such comics don't present the actual good arguments against having children, and instead go for the "muh traveling and having fun, also poop stinky" argument. Sounds a bit immature.
I'm not planning on having children, but not because I want to pretend I'm in my early 20s all the way until my 40s.

Also, plenty of people in history have accomplished great things and pursued their dreams WHILE having children. As if they already dedicate 100% of their time to pursuing their dreams, and any setback would prevent them from reaching it, unlike us lazy bums who have time to spare.
When in reality it's likely that they spend a good chunk of their time scrolling through instagram and binge watching youtube videos like the rest of us.
>>
No. 55830
When I was a child around 4-12yo. I told myself that I loved children and would love to take care of them. But my child self was crazy. I saw purity and truth in childhood and I had as an ideal to revive it through the contemplation of the children I had to take care of. I said that I had three childhoods, mine and the ones of my two brothers, I also said that a man could be a child three times in his life, the first naturally from youth, the second from fatherhood and the third from grand-fatherhood.
I suffered a lot from nostalgia at this age and I think this was a way for me to cope with the fact that all of the events in my existence (wich was very short at the time, thus fetishisation of childhood) could only be lived once.

I grew up and now I still want to found a family but I'm not sure of why anymore. I still want to have my twenties free from children though. Maybe I should live passed my old ideals because I see clearly that if follow them blindly I will become a cheap version of the family I grew up with.
>>
No. 55832
21 kB, 599 × 337
>>55826
>I don't get why such comics don't present the actual good arguments against having children, and instead go for the "muh traveling and having fun, also poop stinky" argument. Sounds a bit immature.
That's the reason why I said "semi-related". While the point itself is valid, the arguments seem like a poor attempt to denounce something that wasn't reachable in first place. There's nothing wrong with having children, but there's something wrong with viewing it as life's central and only purpose. It's not like there's a severe shortage of humans, so it might actually be helpful for society as a whole if population drops a little. Passing on the own genes is also a weak argument, since we're all a huge mix-up of genes, and, behold: Children die too at some point, so you're not building yourself an everlasting monument. Also I thought the argument of passing on the own genes is narcisstic. Then there's the archaic "purpose of life is reproduction"-argument, which is again weak, since humans reached a level of conciousness that enables them to choose whatever they want for a purpose. Cowardly relying on archaic imperatives only exhibits a lack of imagination and the denial of one's ability to choose otherwise. And, more important: As far as I know no one has seen god's scoring table for successful living, and no one knows the endgame of that whole space/time/universe/life/death-thingy yet, so anyone telling me how he knows what life is all about is wrong by default.
>"But you will miss so much if you don't have children"
You will miss 99.99% of everything in life anyway, because opportunities are massive, and lifetime is limited. that's a flaw of life, not a flaw of oneself and the individual decision making. You will become old and die and have missed almost everything, it can't be helped. The closest thing I ever came to finding a purpose in life is fixing this flaw, with all the intermediate steps necessary, which would be too off-topic to elaborate.

Pic now completely unrelated :DD
>>
No. 55833
134 kB, 500 × 5880
>>55832
This might sound sociopathic, but for me, a valid reason to have children would be to use them as a tool to accomplish goals. Have an agent of your will in the world even beyond death.
There's not many other opportunities in life to effectively "own" another human on a semi-consensual basis.

Now, you might ask me to justify those goals and ambitions in the first place, but the justification is the same for anything else you do in life. As in, there is none. I want X to happen in the world, because of my own personal reasons, and if having a child is a good tool for making X happen, why not?

It gets even easier if you decouple your goals from your own identity, and treat it as "I want there to be someone who is really good at X skill or art, but due to my own conditions, I was not able to make myself into it. So I will make someone else into it".

The only problem with all of this is the annoying and pesky fact that children are their own individuals and might not necessary agree with or care about your goals. Maybe this is why humans are so attracted to the idea of AI. It is a sort of "child", but without human rights lmao.
>>
No. 55834
>>55832
>but there's something wrong with viewing it as life's central and only purpose
Not only, but dedicating your life to raising a few humanlings with the goal of making them good people, thus helping the people around you is noble. People have kids for all different reasons, from accidentally spawning more life to trying to live out their own fantasies with a new avatar through which they can re-do their life.

>>55833
>This might sound sociopathic, but for me, a valid reason to have children would be to use them as a tool to accomplish goals. Have an agent of your will in the world even beyond death.
Now I want an entire army of kids, I just make sure I indoctrinate them thoroughly so they don't develop a mind of their own.
>>
No. 55836
95 kB, 358 × 487
>>55833
>a valid reason to have children would be to use them as a tool to accomplish goals
>>55834
>Now I want an entire army of kids, I just make sure I indoctrinate them thoroughly so they don't develop a mind of their own.
Alright, it's settled. We all gonna have an army of kids whose only purpose is to populate a future EC and have assburger discussions day in day out.
>>
No. 55837
>>55824
Well, my brother, who used to do nothing but playing games and drinking managed to acquire gf and knock her up half a year later. During the following nine months he did a 180 and is now a serious, responsible man who loves his kid more than anything else.

>>55826
I don't like either side. "You're not a real human until you have children" is as retarded as glorifying staying childless while being a grade A consoomer. I remember seeing picture of a tweet where a woman posted something like "who needs kids when you have marvel movies" or something like that. Then the "cool wine aunt" bullshit, which is nothing but denial. Or those notorious reddit posts where dudes get a console for getting their ducts snipped.
Worst are people who refer to their pets as "fur babies" though.

I think humans should procreate, I plan to do it, but I also think some people should just not be allowed to have children. Not even because they're dumb, but because they're dumb, lazy assholes. Source: secondhand tellings from a Kindergarten, the person always tries to be diplomatic and not judge anyone, so I do that.
>>
No. 55838
>>55836
If we all play our cards right, EC will experience a renaissance of quality posting a generation from now.
>>
No. 55839
1,6 MB, 460 × 340, 0:01
>>55838
>>55836
>>55834
>>55833

Hey, I always thought it is quite valid to have children and raise them as you think the world needs them to be. My children should be potential makers in history, maybe my role is just to keep the line running and don't give it all to the enemies. But in the end, you cannot make your kids run like a clockwork, we all know the stories of the kids raised strict and then turning complete opposite once left uncontrolled, or even rebel against it as teens already, while others stay docile all their live.
>>
No. 55844
>>55837
The problem isn't the retards and bydlo breeding ike rabbits so much as the rest of us are not. My whole family is college educated and none of us had kids, with it looking increasingly unlikely for all of us.

People always like to talk about the negative eugenics but they never think of pro-eugenics. Why would we not just offer incentives to good people to breed instead? Off doctors, diplomats, Polish game developers, intellectuals huge tax incentives to have kids, and after the second kid the State pays you to have more. Set up batteries of tests and make it a felony punishable by sterilization to cheat. Let wealth not buy it because Lord knows there's some complete fucking idiots and useless sacks of flesh walking around this country with tons of money and we don't need that breeding either, which I suppose is also interestingly telling that class is someehat divorced from wealth here, or at least intellect. We should make life as easy as possible for decent, intelligent people to breed prolifically because at the end of the day, if you sterilize a bunch of stupid people and assholes the world is still full of other stupid people and assholes and those decent intelligent people still aren't breeding.

I guess the worst case apocalypse scenario could be simply drug and increase the flow of alcohol/other drugs into higher IQ/successful people and deny them birth control. Or/and start huge fearmongering media campaigns in bydlo communities about cockrot if you don't wear a condom. Start rumours among kids kids are stupid. Although I guess on some level we have a bit of this now with the anti-vaxxers but it's not killing them off fast enough.
>>
No. 55960
3,2 MB, 1:42
>>55834
> Now I want an entire army of kids, I just make sure I indoctrinate them thoroughly so they don't develop a mind of their own.
As I understand, you speak Russian.
>>
No. 55965
>>55960
>мы их будем держать в черной тиле
что? :DD а хорошая песня, спасибо Эрнст