/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

Currently at Radio Ernstiwan:

Niedliche Scheissmusik by Funpaku

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No. 42154 Systemkontra
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New one.
No. 42156
today i did nothing but shitpost on discord
lord have mercy on my soul
No. 42157
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I went to the north today. Pic related: It's the Douro river.

It's a shame I'll now die of COVID-19 because every northerner has it.
No. 42159
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>Pic related: It's the Douro river.
Beautiful. Totally worth it, ernst :DD
No. 42160
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Decided to drop out of my Master's project, which for all practical purposes means that I'm dropping out of the whole course.
I feel a bit uneasy because I know some of my family will disapprove, and I'm not really sure what I'm going to do now, but I suppose it's better to do it now rather than force myself through this agony for another 1.5 years, or likely longer considering my track record.
I've been considering trades, but none of them really entice me. I have a friend who dropped out of uni and started an apprenticeship last year as chimney sweeper, he seems to be enjoying it (well, he works in Berlin, I'm sure that's not unimportant), but I'm not sure I could do something like that.
Well, I still have my minijob at the uni until October, so there's that at least.

On a more positive note, I realized I've accumulated 200€ in my wallet since I haven't been spending paper money as I usually only do so when I'm out and about.
Also finished another Gunpla, it's a bit of an undewhelming model except for the fabulous hair. This time I also did some panel lining, I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.

>Nu Gundam
It does look cool, maybe I'll even get an MG of it.
But for now I still have a couple more HG models already lying around.

Looks nice, makes me want to visit the north of Portugal maybe rather just a bike trip to the local river for now :D
No. 42161
Nah, nothing will happen. It's flu of old farts who will die anyway.[\spoiler] Cool pic. Northen Portugal is one of places I want to visit in western europe one day.
No. 42167
How come? What were you studying and how did you come up with the courage to drop out? I'm one of those who take forever with uni I love it and can't imagine quitting - so I'm kind of on the opposite side from you.
No. 42170
I wouldn't leave uni until you have a job secured and a plan. Academia is shit but you can't leave a job unfinished and...we're in the middle of a global pandemic with predictions of a long and painful recession. The fuck are you going to do besides sit at home on the dole with no identity? What kind of apprenticeship do you think you'll get if you just flaked uni and tell them you don't have any interest in any career?
No. 42172
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>Teachers messages that she corrected the exam
>I panic
>I ask for the results while in panic
>No reply
>I keep panicking
She said that the best result was 92%, the worst was 52%. So mine could be anything between the two.
I had a beer, but it didn't help at all with the anxiety.

Today I read from the Gulag Archipelago. I like it. Generally speaking, I like books that are loose strings of historical anecdotes centred around a common topic.
It feels like that Shostakovich's Testimony is a perfect companion volume to it.
No. 42173
74 kB, 1280 × 720
Well I got the fucking results. 92 fucking percent lads.
Can't fuckin' believe it.
Nerdy girls my suck my dick. This is the power of true intelligence and being well read.
Fuck you and your better test results. I can actually apply what I read you dirtyh whores.

Woke up mum and dad and shared a shot of kräuterlikör with them. Even drank the half shot that was at the bottom of the bottle. Then I drank the vodka I poured while I was waiting for the message to come.
All in all, I had 1.5 shots of 56% kräuterlikör, a shot of 37% vodka and a fucking beer. I'm so fucking drunk I'm singing fucking bozhe tsarya khrani. Or rather, the three lines in russian I know. That, or whistling Mahler.

92 fucking percent. Still the worst Matura I ever wrote, right behind my 93% in German from two years ago.
I'm going to uni. I can't believe it. I'm going to be attending a fucking university.
No. 42174
Why should you get the exams results in advance of others because of an email? Or don't you have an official day? We were all going one by one through the principals office and got them told in person.

Also don't worry, or are you attending an elite uni?
No. 42175 Kontra
Looks like I'm slow >>42174
No. 42176
It's an intermediate abitur exam, so the teacher that corrected the exam sheets knows me and can tell me the results ahead of schedule. You just have to ask.
She told us that we can ask, so why the fuck not. Official date to go in and review the test is the 29th.
No. 42177
I wonder if we were able to review it.
Anyway, congrats!
Not until July-August that I will know if I will change university and city.
No. 42178
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Congrats, lad. I still remember very vividly when I passed the key test for my degree, which basically meant that I'd be able to finish the whole thing. Got drunk very quickly that day, so enjoy it.
No. 42179
I just bought and finally received an entire key of kratom and although I've been getting mailing difficulties as a result I am probably also going to get damn near an ounce of CBD cannabis at around the same time and now I'm just going to lie around on my bed in pajamas all day watching pet and nature videos and some weird documentaries while getting paid unemployment for it r8
Just kidding. Who gives a fuck I r8 this maximum awesome just because I don't have to go anywhere or do anything at all not even tomorrow fingers crossed which means it literally doesnt matter what I do today and I can sit around doing anything I want in my apartment with no one to answer to right now. At least this very one moment is finally something where it's actually worth me not dying for the first time in years and years.

By the way if you have a high baseline of anxiety I also finally figured out the trick to it. You have to buy the shit from what looks like basically a head shop for potheads. There's all kinds of things I'm starting to see which I don't even understand what they are like shatter. Wtf is shatter? It looks like some tarry caramel colored concoction of Mr. White and Jesse. Well anyways I figured out the trick to it here is you actually have to buy the buds themselves. The shit they sell on those dippy new age sites for middle age women do nothing and the skin creams are probably even more fucking useless. The stuff they sell in gas stations is also equally worthless overpriced garbage that does nothing however when you get the gummies or the flower itself the stuff works great.

The only downside to it is it really does feel similar to weed which makes you completely fucking useless to anybody and retarded and forgetful like stoners so use with caution. Otherwise I have found it to be a great adjunct to my anxiety med regimen which lately has been more kratom based. All in all pretty good though. This is truly the age of the NEET. What are some good documentaries to watch? I found this one really weird one called Kink which apparently James Franco made about that website which led to another one called Graphic Sexual Horror. Apparently the Patriot Act shut that site down and I guess nobody could tell if it was real or dark web tier back then. I'm still not quite sure why to stand on porn honestly but all our mass consumption of it and starring it to get by is probably just an indication this system has made whores of us all and they just happen to be more honest about it.

I might download one of those when I'm in the mood. Probably at least one of them is the whole "sex positivism" thing which i guess could contrast interestingly against that British documentary I watched that was negative but really I'm not in the mood to do much but nature docs atm. I'm super scared of jinxing it by even talking about work but man if I could keep my schedule clear and #StayHome™ that would be super awesome. There's all these documentaries out there on such knowledge and yet I waste so much of my time on nothing, and judging by YT everyone else is way worse. It takes on average one play next before it becomes the most incredibly asinine insipid click baity bullshit it's incredible. YT is such horrific trash now I can't even believe it and meanwhile it's been getting harder and harder for me to find nice documentaries.

Why shouldn't research papers and documentaries all be provided as free knowledge? Why is such an amazing age of knowledge and understanding bogged down in celebrity bullshit and attention whoring while the product of artists and intellectuals and locked up like obscure products?
No. 42181
Well, the review thing here means that you can go in, scan it, and then lodge an official complaint in the next two days if you feel like something was incorrectly graded by the teacher. (Since here even a single point can mean a lot.)
Then they'll review your complaint by asking a third opinion of another teacher who teaches that subject and they either decided in your favour or your teacher's favour.

I'm still waiting for the results of the Advanced History exam and the intermediate Mathematics exam. There's no way I'm going to get those beforehand like I I did with the literature exam, because I don't have a cordial relationship with my maths teacher and the history exam is corrected by a teacher at a different school because it's advanced level and not intermediate.

>elite uni?
I marked ELTE (Lóránd Eötvös University of Sciences) as the first place on my application spot. It's not the hardest uni to get into (That would be the Semmelweis Univesity of Medicine), but it's the oldest and one of the most prestigious in the country, mainly its humanities faculty.
So yes, the expectations are kinda high, but the the Faculty of Eastern Studies isn't hopelessly hard to get accepted to.
No. 42187
I studied "Cognitive Science".
>How come?
I guess, to put it short, the sort of questions and research topics that are prevalent in this field simply don't interest me.
I have no connections to any of the profs, and I don't like them very much, so I'd again have trouble with the thesis as I did during my Bachelor's. It's a rather small tight-knit course, and most of the students are from a younger cohort since I took longer with my bachelor, and I have almost no connections to them either so I feel a bit like a pariah.

I suppose reading this post by a guy who was already deep into academia when he decided to quit was also a bit of an influence: https://write.as/formerly-known-as-a-philosopher/confession-of-an-ex-philosopher
Though it's not like I decided to do it just because I read a post :D, it's been on my mind basically already before I started it but I had some hopes I might find interest in it again since there was a new prof who seemed like his approach might be different. But it wasn't, his focus on theory makes me gag even more than the handwaving approach of the other main prof of the course. These endless discussions about miniscule points from people who just want to hear themselves talk, gaaaa...

I guess I could go on with the negative venting, but I'm not against universities per se despite all the bullshit produced there - it's not like industry is any better, but maybe that's not really the right dichotomy. I'm happy it works out for you, but I guess it's just not for me.

I mean I have some job for now, and I haven't fully dropped out yet. Also I still got my Bachelor's degree (tho I guess that doesn't mean shit nowadays) and at least some work experience to boot, so I don't think I'm that badly off. Now that I think about it, I could also just stay enrolled for another year or so until I get my foot in the door somewhere as a working student if I decide to go that route.
I don't want to underestimate it, but it doesn't seem to be such a big problem to get into an apprenticeship since my m8 who dropped out of 3 (or more?) university programs or so without finishing any degree managed to do it.
No. 42191
Thanks for posting. You see, someone close to me is in a situation similar to what you describe (except studying MINT) and I would like the help them. They are a bit further in, struggling with their MSc thesis after having dreaded everything since the years-long torture of writing their BSc thesis (yes, the thesis alone took years). They have a job at uni that they would like to replace with something, anything outside the MINT (eng. STEM) field.
The situation of our educational world is tainted by a very bitter taste once you see someone in that place. It's extremely hard to find a job in another field (at least if your field is MINT/STEM) but everything within that field is so narrow in focus that it's nigh impossible to find something that differs enough from the things you've grown to dislike.

Now my problem is that I'm happy within that very field, so my perspective on how to do something outside is skewed and mostly useless. Still, endless chats about it fill both our lives with dread on a regular basis. Doesn't help that parents get older and stop giving money.

I've read partly through the blog post and am sure to pass it on, it seems to have some genuine thoughts worth reading.
No. 42200
Whenever I shave and cut my hair on the same day, I end up looking like a guy who had to clean himself up for court. Being well-groomed just seems a little unnatural for me.

You've heard this a lot by now, but I'm sure one more couldn't hurt: Congratulations, mate. After seeing your posts over these last couple of years, I know it's been a hell of a journey, but you made it.

>I r8 this maximum awesome
Seems like an accurate rating to me :D
Sadly my documentary game is weak, so I'm coming up empty there.
No. 42201
>the Faculty of Eastern Studies isn't hopelessly hard to get accepted to.
As I understand it from your posts, in Hungary admission to different programs is capped and limited to the best scoring applicants. Is that just for some programs? Is there a retard university for all the dumbasses who want to go to college but can't get into competitive programs?

Over here, as much as 20% or more of the student body at any university can be psychology majors alone, and once you add in gender studies and English and history other other useless limited-applicability spheres of knowledge, more than half of our college students are wasting 4 years of their lives and 10s of thousands of dollars for knowledge that is worthless for 99% of people.

Of course we need history and English teachers, and some people to continue scholarship for its own sake. But the supply of these degrees vastly surpasses the demand for people to use them. I really wish we limited study in these fields only to the most intelligent and dedicated people who showed interest. I was terrified upon graduation to see that the psych majors outnumbered my own department* by a factor of perhaps 100.

*We linguists were relegated to the basement of one of the smaller buildings on campus, and had at most a few dozen graduates each year. This was a rare case of a department's size perfectly matching up with its usefulness.
No. 42203
Basically there are "free" spots where the government pays your tuition and there are "paid" spots where you pay each semester for your education. Every citizen is entitled to 10 semesters' worth of tuition, no matter the degree.
The acceptance procedure uses a system where every student can earn a maximum of 500 points.
(100 from the average if your five matura exam results, 100 extra points for taking advanced exams or having language certificate, 100 for your marks in grade 11 and 12 and the remaining 200 is from two maturas of your choice. You can get 10-15 extra points for a disability or taking part in national or international competitions.)

You upload your results and they calculate the best result for you. The universities get these results and they rank the applicants in a descending order.
If there's 50 government spots for a given course, then the 50th applicant's results will be the cut-off point for application.
There's a legal minimum for points you have to earn to go to university. They cannot legally set a course to have a point requirement below 280.

There's two kinds of institutions of higher learning in Hungary. Universities ("Egyetem") and "Capital Schools" ("Főiskola"). These offer more "practical courses" and aren't really prestigious. They also have lower point requirements, since they aren't bound by the law that makes the minimum 280.
That's where the shitters go.
Though a lot of universities are főiskola tier.
The Prestigious places are ELTE (Where I applied to. The go-to place for humanitiesfags. Oldest uni in the country.), the Budapest University of Technology (for STEM students that want to get torn a new one), the Semmelweis University of Medicine, Pécs University of Sciences, Debrecen University of Sciences and the Corvinus University of Economics (this is where a lot of our elite studied. It used to be called "Karl Marx University of Economics".)

Though recently they started experimenting with the funding. Some universities don't have government funded spots, but rather they have a fund that gets money from the industry that places orders for "courses" to have specialists trained.
Quite worrying if you ask me.

>After seeing your posts over these last couple of years
Oh D-g, has it already been a couple of years now?
How terrifying.
Thank you.
No. 42204
You are aware if the fact that historians don't work in museums or archives only, right? They go into PR or culture shit as well. Likewise people who study psychology won't all be therapists but HR or in some corporates where they need knowledge about the human psyche, were stuff is designed etc. These are not necessarily productive jobs in that sense, it's service commodification. You pay someone with knowledge to do something for you you can't do yourself but you need for whatever reasons. That is why many work is also project based I think, because you have customers (enterprises) who need a special service only for a limited amount of time etc.
The son of my parents friends whom I played with many many years ago got a masters in geoengineering, he was quite good I guess, went abroad to GB, at least when we were young I always had the impression he is quite smart. Anyway, he now works for some furniture company in a shitty job as far as I remember. Guess no jobs available for him. Maybe just the place he moved to.
These days it's not all about applicating STEM knowledge into new technology that will help humans, "solving problems" if you want to make it more abstract. All kinds of services can be bought. Teaching people like engineers how to lead a group, you know that weekend seminar your boss sends you to because you should do the job and you will get taught/trained stuff by psychologists or whatever, that kind of stuff.
Though ofc I understand your resentiment, I sometimes wonder as well what all of my peer students will do one day. I got excellent marks, since I'm a math loser on the other side I'm not able to read correctly the grade spread from all BAs which got registred, but if I got that right, less than 5% have a better grade than me...either that or less than 5% got that grade, the month I got my and hope to find a job that has to do with publishing books or something like that. A job in the end, that you can't do without being well read basically. And I know that many peers don't read that much or many online things like newspaper etc. but rarely any books, except for uni. Some drop out I guess, some read books more often.
There exist people who hold lectures in a less academic fashion to boomers who like to educate themselves and pay for an evening that is both entertaining but also "the more you know..." I can't blame them, being confronted with an interesting history is nice. The satisfaction of the aha moment.
No. 42221
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I'm lazy and don't feel like reading. I sent an email with an exposé and supposed table of content to the professor that might be my BA tutor then. My thesis is not very clear and I feel like too much topics mix and I have to reduce further, but I'm getting closer and have singled out a source that works in more than one direction apparently. So my energy that went into this stuff drained me for today.
No. 42224
Why are the plots of mecha manga/animes so hard to follow? I thought this was unique to Neon Genesis Evangelion (haven’t seen it but I know it has a reputation for being convoluted), but now I’m reading Knights of Sidonia and I feel like I never know what’s going on.
No. 42225
It's a bank holiday only I get an extra day off because of privilege day. Essentially, many years ago civil servants are granted an extra day off by the Queen for her birthday, there used to be many more such perks but only this one remains as it's explicitly granted by the Crown. It would arguably be treason to work on such a day.

No idea what I'm going to do with 4 days off. Not that I'm complaining but I'm easily going to waste it outside of baking a cake and going for walks.

>I don't want to underestimate it, but it doesn't seem to be such a big problem to get into an apprenticeship since my m8 who dropped out of 3 (or more?) university programs or so without finishing any degree managed to do it.

Eh, I wouldn't discount sheer luck on this. People make noise online about trades being easy but I've known fair number of people I went to school with go into things like plumbing and carpentry only to end up shafted by the last recession.

Obviously you should go be a civil servant. Growth industry with job security and interesting work, nothing to sneeze at. Plus the bullshit like security clearance can take months so you can still change your mind if you fancy finishing your Masters.

>Some universities don't have government funded spots, but rather they have a fund that gets money from the industry that places orders for "courses" to have specialists trained.
Quite worrying if you ask me.

Honestly when you get into the figures for this it becomes logical. Many high-skill industries are screaming for people (for example nuclear) and can offer a good job. That, sadly, is important for working class people who don't feel secure enough to go into philosophy or whatever so talent is put to use that is otherwise wasted. Still fucked but I like to think that at least their children will have the security to study what they want.

Fair play, emails take the piss. I feel that society in general could be much more productive if people were more inclined to pick up the phone like the older generation still do.
No. 42226
Private Sector history is actually a big deal. Lots of building projects hire one or more to make sure that they are in the clear for building. It looks really bad if you dig out the foundation and discover that the place used to be a graveyard (which happened here, but was averted by historians having a plan for preserving the site and transporting what needed to be moved in a respectful manner.)

Plus there is just contract work that is more common than you might think, just boring as fuck.

>Growth industry
I interpreted that as a big government joke and it made me smile :-DDDDD
No. 42227
Watch 0079, Gundam, Dougram and VOTOMS. Occasionally confusing but way better too.
t. former /m/anchild
No. 42228 Kontra
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It's also 16 degrees Celsius today.
No. 42229
I've been going like this for awhile now and only recently it looks like things are picking back up and I'm probably going to be back to at least 3 day work weeks. I'm actually already well aware of the fact that it's going to be a real rough transition to servitude to a company which fully broke its trust with me after lazing about all day for weeks on end.

Really I should just get back to my projects and go more straight edge because I swear this CHD is making me a lazy useless fuck who's dumb and forgetful but on the other hand it was the first time all that tension just melted away. If I can ever afford it I need to pay for a good back massage. That has got to be one of the nicest things about being wealthy. My muscles are like rope every day for no good reason.
No. 42231
Thanks for the recommendations. I watched the first two episodes of the original Mobile Suit Gundam series and it was cool. Unfortunately it looks like the only way to watch the rest is to download 40 GB with two seeders lol
No. 42233
228 kB, 1148 × 956
28C on the Kazakhstan, I hate it already
No. 42234
That's 0079. It's worth. Should be other torrents around. Second one was meant to be Z Gundam but phone deleted the Z. Don't watch it without the first because while it's self-contained, it's a lot better if you've seen the previous one. Don't bother with ZZ or Victory unless you are a UC grog. They aren't particularly good, and are only really interesting if you follow the background information since they show distinct periods of in-universe UC design philosophy.
No. 42235
Fug. Tbh, at least here it goes from hot to cool and not hot to nut-freezing like it does on the Kazakhstan.
No. 42237
We did enjoy a few weeks of cold weather, rains, etc. But it seems the fun's over now. Although, our "hot" is nothing compared to straya, though. And the sun doesn't scorch us with unfiltered, deathly cancer beams. On the almaty at least. The central steppe regions might come closer.

If I were walthy, I'd just have 4 homes all around the world and move to whichever's having the chilliest weather :-D.

The insides of my PC and keyboard are absolutely disgusting. I need to diassemble and clean them. But that's at least a day of them being out of commission and drying (I wash my PC parts in the bathtub :-D).

nvm, bathtub is occupied by carpet, next time I guess.
No. 42241
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There is +10 ultra hot like second day. I was not prepeared, even snow still not fully melted. Now I need to suffer untill it ends to normal again.
No. 42242
Hah, it's been 30+C here for several days and today it has finally cooled off to an acceptable 16C.

That's a very cool image, is this concept art of JK2?
No. 42243
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>Fair play, emails take the piss. I feel that society in general could be much more productive if people were more inclined to pick up the phone like the older generation still do.

The problem is that it was late and a text is likely to be more coherent than talking at this point. You really pin down thoughts that way, even though I realized there is still a real thread missing on which to go along, to many threads intertwine atm and it does not make any sense to follow various threads in one BA thesis and risking to scrap various surfaces only instead of going deeper for one or two only.
And the table of contents is better to be had visually. I had like three face2face talks with him in his office before corona swept the world, so count me in on the importance of non-text-based communication.
No. 42247
54 kB, 768 × 512
Ebin :DDD Yes, worth it.

Sintra > North
t. unbiased Sintra Ernst
No. 42248
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It's illustrations for books for first Jedi Knight, Dark Forces 2.
No. 42249
Well, if I ever go to portugal I'll probably visit all places I can anyway. But I more towards "nature" person, however musems are cool too.
No. 42250
North Portugal is maximum cozy, along with the north coast of Spain.

Definitely want to see Porto one day.
No. 42252
Exactly, buying knowledge and competence you don't have but which is in the end a benefit to whatever you are doing and building said knowledge and competence by yourself or in your corporation is uneconomical. It's more flexible, buying time contracted work is more efficient, less fix costs, easy to abandon once it becomes "a burden" to your book keeping.
I also think psychologists might be streamliners of society because they are employed in various fields which is why I have developed an aversion towards psychologists tbh, they seem to me like damage controllers and stokers of the status quo alike. I googled Führungskräftetraining executive/manager/leader training and alas there exist enterprises whose whole existence is based on provoding knowledge in order to "properly" manage underlings to people who don't know enough or nothing about it. This is done by psychological knowledge for sure, I've never been to such a training obviously.

What is the boring contract work you mentioned?
No. 42254
>I would like a history on my house where nothing interesting happened in the less than 150 years it's existed.

You also get the usual family research people, and let's face it, 99% of people are fucking boring. There's the odd occasion where you'll get something interesting, like I knew some guys who worked with a convent to make a little museum using their archives, but in general you're not doing anything remotely neat. It's not a booming industry by any means, but it does exist which is bigger than most people think it is.
No. 42258
Damn now I’m looking at gunpla kits online. Something wrong with me
No. 42260
>usual family research people, and let's face it, 99% of people are fucking boring.

People want to position themselves within history and want to know "where they come from". Surely these histories are not that interesting, but diaries etc could be good source for historical research nonetheless.
No. 42264
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tfw no giant alien girlfriend
No. 42266
I've been feeling a lot better during the past few days.
I'm actually able to read now, and my chest no longer feels weird, despite the funky weather.

I've read an essay that accompanies Lu Yu's The Classic of Tea. It was about the history of tea in China, and the history of writings on tea. It's interesting how we drink tea without thinking much about it, but a mere 400 years ago Matteo Ricci described it as a completely alien custom.
Also continued reading from the Gulag Archipelago. Fascinating book.
No. 42270
Looks cute.
No. 42271
37 kB, 450 × 320
Getting tired of social isolation, since it really adds a strain to my already limited social settis. I just played videogames all day and got drunk into the evening, I think I just want to talk to someone.
No. 42273
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420 kB, 750 × 1038
No. 42274
3,3 MB, 2564 × 3200
I just unfucked my wlan by changing the channel/ghz or whatever it exactly was. Now that my wlan does not seem to disconnect every 5min or when getting challenged I consider streaming some music on the radio in the future again.
This time not techno or electro but I'm dreaming of soviet soulmusic, driving post punk only.
No. 42278
It's interesting if you actually have to do anything with it, but with family research you are typically just looking at names and dates with important events labelled. Nobody wants a real in-depth study of those people like you'd give if you were doing research for a personal project. The diaries can be interesting, but I often find things like that more interesting if I have some kind of interest in the thing, be it I know them or the subject material.

Take it with a grain of salt though. My professional specialty is in development of rifled firearms in the 1840s through 1860s as well as some forays into the New Mexico Campaign of 1862, and my amateur specialty is the Kazakh Khanate. Social history of random people from my city doesn't strike me as particularly fascinating, but I know that some people eat that shit up.
No. 42279
there was a funny russian meme I saw on KC years ago making fun of dungeon synth. can't remember any details though. does anyone know what I'm talking about?
No. 42280
Shifting yor sexual preferences from humans? :p
No. 42282
>you are typically just looking at names and dates with important events labelled.

That is ofc quite boring.

Other than that, yeah, every historian has its favored period with a topic attached. Though I never really concentrated on one totally in depth, meaning reading a wide array of literature to that and the contexts it's imbedded in. The last months I've read many things about post 1970 history but there are many things missing in "the picture".
No. 42284
There's an app on fdroid that lets you set up a local FTP server on your phone and connect to it on your desktop. I can now transfer music from my PC to my phone without fiddling with USB cables. I feel like a tech wizard right now.

t. retard
No. 42285
1,4 MB, 3200 × 2190
That case when you are not a tech wizard.

t. fiddling with usb on a weekly basis
No. 42291
Tomorrow is the big day, we will start moving our stuff to a new apartment. Have barely slept 6 hours a night for the past week. within in a few days my parents will be safe and cozy in their home, and I will spend the summer there helping before going back to uni when fall comes.

Maybe life can be good sometimes, that things actually get better without everything turning shittier with time. Maybe good things happen.
No. 42299
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1,0 MB, 1000 × 671
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Today Dunbar popped into my head. A seaside town 30 miles from Edinburgh that's best known for making business travellers think about getting off and starting a new life. Year round sunshine, crystal clear waters and lots of nature nearby (including some breathtaking cliffs and surfing).

I could probably do it easily. Base my job in Edinburgh but mostly work from home and I could get a massive house for less than a small flat in London. Maybe I will. There's probably some catches involved like it all being old people but I can wait a year until the housing market shits the bed. It seems so easy.

I'm glad everything worked out alright. How much of a bother was the whole thing with coronavirus? I imagine that logistically it must be difficult but still a renters market atm.
No. 42303
shit brehs
I just figured out how to do line art. this whole time I was like "how tf do you make accurate lines, how tf do you make line drawings, I can only paint fuck this tablet", and it turns out, the answer is, you just paint the fugging lines. it's like, "just zoom in nibba, just make the canvas bigger lmao". sheeiiiiiiit.
coming from a traditional background, I just took it as a given that you should have the whole image in your view when drawing, and zooming in would throw me off. But it turns out, you get used to it. ANd you can have a real time preview in a corner of the screen.
my monitor is still small and annoying, but shit, I can deal with this. this changes everything.
No. 42307
There special pens in programs, same as stabilisation option that make you pen more stablised for clear lineart. What program are you using?
No. 42322
353 kB, 1024 × 532
Hard to believe a place that beautiful is anywhere near a city. It seems so isolated, but just a few trips over that horizon and....people.

It won't be long before you're so used to digital drawing that you actually reach for the undo button while using a pencil in a sketchpad :DD.

I love the line stabilisation function; it makes a huge difference when you want to draw long smooth pen strokes.
No. 42323
Tonight I went out for a walk around the city around 2am. Thankfully I remembered not to cross Neva and didn't get stranded on the other side of the river, and for the first time in my life I got to see the bridges going up with only 2 or 3 other people present. The dawn looked beautiful as well, although this time of year it's hard to tell when the dusk ends and dawn begins. Overall, it made me feel better about my shitty life, I might do it again tomorrow. Maybe if I'm lucky I will be able to sleep for 8 hours or more.
No. 42324
If an ernst ever say won the lotto, and offered to somehow sponsor a bunch of people, would Ernst even hang out together IRL or get along? Or even want to? I feel almost like this is a riddle or philosophical question. It just dawned on me that would we actually even want to be around each other, or is this all ultimately just passing the time while we are alone in our rooms?
No. 42329
322 kB, 377 × 750
>I got to see the bridges going up with only 2 or 3 other people present.
Cool. I've only seen a bridge go up once in my life, but was surrounded by noisy beach traffic at the time, so I couldn't enjoy it.

>would Ernst even hang out together IRL or get along? Or even want to?
Get along? I think so, yeah. I'll use an analogy to explain my reasoning. Within a sports stadium, most people get on well because the stadium is a venue for a certain type of interaction. By choosing to attend, each person in the crowd has been filtered from the general population based on a specific interest. IBs act in a simlar way, drawing visitors based on a set of interests, and also temperment. By coming to EC, we have each demostrated a baseline compatibility. Ofc beyond that, I imagine we would also have to sort through small irritations and idiosyncracies which don't present in an online interaction, but I don't see that as a major problem(pic related might be a deal-breaker :D). The only issue I'm not sure about (well, I guess I'm not sure about any of this, as it is conjecture) is the effort and energy irl relationships require. While I believe we would all get along well enough if we met in a pub/park/etc, maintaining a consistent physical presence over time is a different level of commitment. This is the "Would we want to?" question. Speaking for myself, that is the part I would struggle with. On some days, sure I would like to head out and do whatever, but on other days I wouldn't.

Also: Did you just win the lottery? My bitcoin wallet is :^DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
No. 42330
Oh, you still have dawns? Here sun already always on sky, I meting ;__;
No. 42333
I've met up with Proto-Ernsts back in the day, and it was pretty enjoyable. 5/5 - Would repeat.
No. 42338
I'm using krita.
I'd use pirated photoshop, but it doesn't have a color picker by default, so I can't. Unless I figure out how to write my own addon for it, which seems like a waste of time.

I don't really use stabilization, maybe I should, but the delay in detecting the stokes triggers the same frustration in my brain as lag in video games does. But I do have a tendency to be spastic and draw lines too quick, so maybe I should turn it on to force myself to be more deliberate :-D

Same for undo, actually. I should disable it and stop relying on it, right now I press undo like 5 times before I commit to a stroke :-D
No. 42340
It's more of a 'white nights' kind of deal, we're not that far north as to get actual polar days.
No. 42341
No it's just something I have thought about. I considered the same back in KC days and part of why I stopped going there was I eventually realized I wanted fucking nothing to do with many and then most and then finally almost all of these people.
No. 42343
I'd liked meet you and kazah ernst
No. 42344
I'd go for a pint because Ernsts seems pretty chill but let's see how that goes. Imageboards tend to attract shitty people and I don't want to get doxxed (or otherwise have my secret garden exposed) because I put a premium privacy.
No. 42345
27 kB, 313 × 349
Sames. I'll go to Russia when I have the chance, so if you're the Peterburg Ernst I'd be totally up for a meeting. no homo :DD
No. 42346
50 kB, 443 × 750
>ib attract shitty people
>posting from imageboard

Well, Well Mr. Ernst, talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

Dunno if I would, but I somehow believe that the appearence we make in real life might be different and force unconscious judgements. I always wonder how people imagine me to look like on the basis of my postings. My friends look very different from me style wise e.g. and I wasn't always that concerned about being posh. But I don't have a problem drinking a beer with people who don't waste thoughts on clothing, as long as we can talk.
No. 42347
No, I'm Murmansk

Of cource no homo, I have bf.
No. 42348
dunno about that.
I'm hesitant to meet people I interact with online, because discovering what a pathetic existence I lead might color the perception of my posts from that point on. You might give some benefit of the doubt to someone's pseudo-authoritative rants if you don't know that he looks and acts like human vermin IRL, lol. That's kind of the appeal of imageboards.

Another factor is being in control of your engagement schedule. The probability of someone's schedule aligning with the days when I'm energetic enough to go out and meet people is pretty low. I can also come in and reply to a day old post, and conversations can go on for months, which is I think an advantage compared to IRL communication.

such cases.
No. 42349
Sure, mate, let us know if you're ever going to visit, I don't mind showing you around the city.
t. St. Petersburg Ernst
No. 42350
Why do people like so much to dabble into other's troubles? Why do they even care? Even if it doesn't concern them?

Most of the time in my life, except when I was a cokehead in highschool - lasted 6 mo. max - I never cared about what people had to say. Even then I had to fake it like I cared. And that's probably why I do not have any friends now. Only people who leech off of me until I've run out of whatever they are leeching. At least they do not fucking piss me off - apart from family but that's the reason family exists, right?

I am cutting everyone off. I'm only going to leave the people I work with - job-related. Since they seem to be the only ones I can truly relate to in any level. Not relating as in friendship or anything like that since I haven't had that in a long time but at least I'm doing something productive and cooperating with them. It seems meaningless to pursue the relationships I have had the past 5 years or so. It is either that or an hero.
No. 42351 Kontra
>except when I was a cokehead in highschool

You cared about what other people say only when you did coke? The opposite is the case in 99.9%

>It seems meaningless to pursue the relationships I have had the past 5 years or so

Why exactly? So far I only got tahat you don't care about other people because they only get on your nerves, leech on you or are boring to you.
No. 42352
Manga pros,

How do you find a manga to read after you finish the manga you are reading?
No. 42353
go to bato.to, *click on random manga, take a look, if good proceed reading, else go to *
No. 42354
59 kB, 1256 × 762
No. 42358
96 kB, 1000 × 1000
Oh no not again
No. 42360
It's just prescheduled maintenance
No. 42362
Don't know.
They said it would have been down for few minutes, and so it was this afternoon. After that the notice of the scheduled maintenance was removed.
But likely it has something to do with that.
No. 42364
ok, it's maintenance.
No. 42365
Where can i take refugee? I know from 2018 that kc is not welcome here.
No. 42367
In Rome do as the Romans do.
Just don't be KC tier, this place is nice in its own way.
No. 42368
They had a maintenance notice on the Onion domain. But not on clearnet which only had the Error 502 page.
No. 42381
5 years after graduating, I think I want to go back to school to get a real degree that isn't some social science BS. Ideally agriculture science or botany - running a small farm or doing agri-related work for the government sounds like the perfect job for an autist who likes the outdoors.

Unfortunately, on the America this will be ridiculously expensive, especially if I go for a second bachelor's instead of a master's (which would require self-study up to the level of a bachelor's to apply for it).
No. 42382
Don't Worry. I'm also not very social person and we all understand.
No. 42384
I think the last depressive cycle has caused me to go through personal growth. I good and bad drawing days. Good days are rare, but on on those days, I feel on top of my game and the process goes smoothly, I produce something decent at the end (albeit unfinished). And on bad days, I struggle with the basics and everything I do turns out like crap. I used to get pretty upset when trying to draw on those bad days, and couldn't stand to look at the ugly crap I created (in fact, the previous depressive cycle was partially caused by this inadequacy). I'd soon quit, and wait for the good day. But now I don't get upset. I just draw, and let myself zone out and meditate on the process, without expecting results. I think I just accepted that the good days are simply outliers, and the "bad days" are the norm. They're my actual skill level, without the good moods propping me up. I'm actually bad at art normally. Upper beginner level. And that's okay. I can draw simply for the satisfaction of it. And I'll just have to get so good, that I'm good even on my bad days. And when I reach that, I'll be even better on my good days. I see nothing but positives.
And the funny thing is, after sticking with it for 3 hours or more, something half-decent does come out at the end. Something simple, like a decently shaded head, or one good figure. Far from the wild and awesome things I would like to draw, but that's okay to. It's better than nothing, which is what I used to produce when I'd quit without even starting.

Thanks bro, I appreciate it.
No. 42386
Yesterday I went to the bookstore. Most people still wear masks, which is a relief.
The book I picked up was Sándor Márai's Memoir of Hungary 1944-1948. Because I couldn't sleep, I read a third of it. It's a very good book. Part one deals with how he first encounters Soviet troops during 1945 in a village where he went into hiding.

The weather has been rather eclectic during the past few days. Storms changing into sunshine and vice versa.
It's killing me. Kinda feels like I have a slight swelling on the left side of my head.
There's also a weird red mark there.
Maybe it's an allergy. But haven't touched or eaten anything strange or unusual.
At least besides this and a sense of sugary-sweet disgust in my mouth, nothing feels off.

Almost done with my Terraria playtrough. I always get sick of it by the last third of the game, because by then you're relying one 1-2% drops to progress effectively in the game instead of sucking massive dick with the more common items.
At least for the mage-class.
No. 42392
1,3 MB, 614 × 922
Getting my sources and literature together more and more, reading parts of it everyday. In small steps my BA thesis comes together. One last thing is in my way though and it is the decision on what to focus if it cannot be linked in a neat twist that is still hidden to me: technology or new stategies of subjectivation (the moralization of economics and social politics). The source that I hoped to concentrate on links both things toegther in a way, technology is the motor of change, a change that has to be tackled with a new (moral) culture, a new attitude of the subjects (the populus which contains of individuals). What might be the neat twist is that the technology carries the "spirit" of the new subject form as well. Maybe that is what is depicted: the compliance between new (information and communication) technology and the new subject (that is necessary). And evolutionary adaption.

...Alright that could be something... The source has evolutionary rhetorics employed more than one time.
Kind of a relieve but I really have quite an amount to read tbh. But if I can get it straight until June I should be fine and finsiied up until correction and polishment in mid september.
No. 42393
Apparently the Chilean author Bolano wrote a novel about an alcoholic who gets really into wargaming. Haven't read a novel in a while so I might buy it.
No. 42394
I had a dream I was trying to organize efforts between 6 different Russian security agencies to solve a crime in a village close to Pskov, in some sort of kafkaesque literal nightmare. I really am losing my mind on this Russophillia kick.
No. 42395
No problem. I would say if you're already at the point where you need to write the thesis you should grit your teeth and pull through, unless you have a really good idea what you'd do otherwise. Though ofc that's easy to say.
I took years for my BSc thesis as well, had everything else done in the regular 3 years, but then struggled to find a suitable topic, started researching one but then got pissed at it and dropped the topic because it was actually the sort of stuff that >>42252 describes as:
>they seem to me like damage controllers and stokers of the status quo alike
Then I had to look for wörk so I basically took a break from uni for a year to save up, then finally finished it last year.
Anyways, good luck to your friend!

>Eh, I wouldn't discount sheer luck on this.
I mean for sure, but he also did a lot of internships etc., and actually he was supposed to start in carpentry but that fell through last minute. So it'S definitely not an easy thing. I also doubt I'm down to earth enough to get along with people working in trades.

>civil servant
I've thought about it, but it actually requires a Master's on the Germany afaik.
I'm thinking whether I can pivot into another Master's after all without wasting too many credits. I actually mostly did compsci courses this last semester so these should actually be transferable to many other courses.

Keep an extensive backlist with mangas from authors you enjoy, "Recommendations"/"Similar to" functions on MAL or smilar sites, and other recommendations you stumble upon (or search out actively)
That's the way I do it with movies, books etc. too.

t. doesn't even read a lot of manga but has ~100 on his backlist

Stumbled upon this documentary today (on Geert Lovink's twitter, no less), thought it might be interesting for you since it's about the failure of the digitalization in Germany: https://www.daserste.de/information/reportage-dokumentation/geschichte-im-ersten/videos/digitale-verlustzone-video-100.html
Though it's not particularly deep by any means, but touches on some interesting aspects I e.g. didn't know about, such as CDU lobbying for investments in TV infrastructure to allow private TV channels to compete with the mostly left aligned public broadcasts
No. 42397
>Though it's not particularly deep by any means, but touches on some interesting aspects I e.g. didn't know about, such as CDU lobbying for investments in TV infrastructure to allow private TV channels to compete with the mostly left aligned public broadcasts

Thanks, will have a look. Might be good to get an overview. I've read sources of people who possed technological advantage already. Also just today I read a chapter on the "geistig-moralische Wende" of the 1980s and it had the info in it to. I mean I already knew that we got private TV channels in 1984 but I was surprised that it was also thought as counter weight to the "critical" public broadcasting, besides establishing a new industry that would create new jobs.
No. 42402
I watched the documentary and it touched many subjects of the pre 1990s era which I encountered during my stroll through the history of the "old BRD": Schwarz-Schilling and the "Verkabelung von Deutschland", I've read a phamplet of the Anti-Kabelgruppe Berlin, one of many actors that were against new technologies. I thought about writing about the Internet on TV: Bildschirmtext(Btx), not mentiomed as failure in the doc, a service by the German Post, which failed big time, the price was often named as a reason. But reading Spiegel articles on it, it seems like many also did not know what to do with it. I also read a short article in the marxist-left-alternative magazine Wechselwirkung from 1983 or so, where the author writes about his Bilschrimtext experience:
>everything is so fast, a headline becomes meaningless

But also the design was horrible tbh. The French MiniTel was basically the same and it went well in France, thanks to subsidies. I think it is als a reason why french philosophers pondered about the microeletronic revolution and new media.
The Volkszählung and home computers etc, were Spiegel headlines, the question in one article I read was similar to the one in the doc, what happened between this paranoid fear of the technocratic 1984 state and people giving away their information willingly and without much consideration?
The CCC and pirating games are also mentioned in historic literature.
They took some footage about home computing from a 1984 WDR documentary btw, you can watch it on youtube. It's quite fun.

I think the documentary has its point. BUT:
I was a bit confused about MetaGer, because minutes before that the OSI was damned as fruitless solo action and then they lament about not having a German Google. Otherwise we have problems in infrastructure indeed, but I think that it's not so bad that we lack behind everywhere. SAP was mentioned as big player, but I would be more interested in what the Mittelstand has to offer. I think it was already seen as very important by Lothar Späth and indeed the funding issues was tackled afaik, Start-Ups were a thing in the 1980s and discussed in Germany, ofc politicians wanted to copy the Silicon Valley. So maybe the German software and electronic industry does not look that bad, they aren't big players or hyper visible perhaps, but I don't know the facts for the present. And btw. back in the late 1970s and 1980s, there was a talk of the "Technologische Lücke", Germany is falling beyond etc. So I would be careful in how to situate this documentary historically and if something is missing here that could proof that Germany still is in the game when it comes new technology. We don't do consumer electronics, we don't do internet monopolies, but perhaps we do well in products for industry or software that is not visible as a brand to the typical end-consumer. It's a guess though and not based on research.
No. 42403 Kontra
I forgot one thing. The alternative milieu was not universally against technology. There existed the buzzword of alternative technologies, from solar energy to different use of computers, it is all subsumed under that terminology. Oftentimes the use of technology is a political issue and not just a technical one. And I think that idea should be followed today.

Another interesting thing in that regard are the magazines like Scientists for the People, Undercurrents and Wechselwirkung US, UK, Germany, all of them existed from 1960s-1990s, not all of them all years but all in that time frame. They deal with a critical perspective on science, but the authors studied STEM subjects and weren't just lefty humanities students with anti civilizational bias. All of them are archived online I think. At least Scientists for the People and Wechselwirkung are.
No. 42405
I don't see why you can't do agri-work for the government with a social science degree. At worst they might offer an apprenticeship* or you can start in policy and edge over.

*keep in mind I have no idea what I'm talking about

If you want something in economics to pick into then you can't go wrong with The Entrepreneurial State by Mariana Mazzucato. Mostly because it focuses on the R&D side and what the state should do but there's angles about socialisation of risk (bailouts) but a lack of socialisation of returns. I have a feeling that over the next year it will be the new black.

I'd agree that Germany does well in specialised areas of a product (as you can imagine, manufacturing). You don't see 'Made in Deutschland', you see components made in Germany and robotic arms. There's also a shitton of money being thrown around and alliances made over Quantum computing for the German future in tech. I'm sceptical of how that will go given quantum isn't magic and we don't have enough detail on applications but there you go.

The above book makes the point though that the focus on Mittelstand doesn't actually guarantee innovation and real growth comes from integrated industries focused on consistent R&D with ambition to follow through. That's typically not new start-ups but companies that have been in business for a few years and are capable of growth (family firms with one overall manager lack capacity). Also Silicon Valley obviously blossomed from government doing all the hard work and shepherding markets to the internet.
No. 42406
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1,5 MB, 2000 × 1500
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My insomnia doesn't let up and that night I felt awful with no particular reason, so I decided to start my daily (or nightly for now) walks again. Additional benefits of this is almost zero people on the streets, since the quarantine is in full effect, and, sometimes, a great view. Unfortunately, my phone camera is absolute ass and my hands are seemingly shaky, so all you guys get are these shitty pictures. I still wanted to share them with you, seeing stuff like this can lift my spirits up a bit even when I'm in the darkest mood.
No. 42407
these pictures are nice Ernst. thanks for sharing them
No. 42409
So I ordered a new patch for my jacket on ebay and the seller cancelled and refunded me the next day for no given reason. Okay, sure, if you don't want to go to the post office or whatever because it's presently a pain in the arse, that's cool. Take yer damn listing down instead of wasting my time.

t. rant pro
No. 42412
I will have a look at The Entrepreneurial Self: Fabricating a New Type of Subject by Ulrich Bröckling, It's a classic of the last decade more or less. I' more interested in the subject than the state. The latter is more a foil. In the 1980s, Kohl and its government did not go rampant like Thatcher and Reagan, the real deal restructuration came only with red-green government in the early 2000s. The 1980s paved the way with a moralization, more discursive construction than actual government action taking place in that time.
The Mittelstand/start up as innovator might be a myth, but in the 1980s, Lothar Späth, the technology maniac of the CDU, did push exactly for the Mittelstand. It fits the narrative of the uneconomic and financially charged state. Industry is doing best when funded by the state and having less adminstrative restrictions. Free market will fix it, but the state has to provide :DDD
I think Siemens and the likes still got and get funded, private public joint ventures etc. Or just Siemens funding a unversity research.
I remember reading on platforms and Siemens was onto something (not social platforming but another type of platform, like server farms or other infrastructure), you usually don't hear about it in ordinary news, maybe in the economy section, which I usually don't read.
No. 42413
7,1 MB, 264 pages
I don't want to pile you on with books, so feel free to ignore it, but I thought I'd share this just in case, since it cites Bröckling quite a few times as well and is very recent. I've only skimmed it a bit, but might be related IDK.
The title is certainly quite memorable and expressive though, Entreprecariat (by Silvio Lorusso).
No. 42414
384 kB, 499 × 309
>Trying out store bough pre-made hamburger meat
>It tastes funky
>mfw it turns out it was beef mixed with pork
God will punish Tesco one day for this treachery of common sense and fine taste.
No. 42415
I'm already piled indeed. But yeah, Bröckling is a central figure when it comes to subject theory and I guess citing the classic book will be enough. I was surprised to find out that his book was really released in English in 2015. The tile sounds like a fusion or linkage that is made between the theory of the enterpreneurial self and the precariat and both suggests itself to be close or linked.
No. 42423
75 kB, 1280 × 720
>Spent the entire day watching a medical drama about a smug British man being right and being smug about being right
They weren't kidding when they said it all goes downhill once you hit your 20s.
No. 42424
Why are you so old when finally graduating from school?
No. 42425
Well, two things. I got one extra year of kindergarten, where I got "preschooling", because red-shirting (I believe that's the term) was the hip and cool thing in the early 2000s among the parents.
Then when I enrolled in HS, I spent one extra year where I took part in a standard language program where they taught me basically nothing but German for a whole year. (It's called "Grade Zero". A grade between the 8th and the 9th.)
The German-program was cool and useful, I'd consider redshirting to be a total waste of time.
No. 42426
92 kB, 720 × 720
A work related client is being extremely shitty to me and they seem to be testing me and trying to see how far they can push me in regards. Some drama kicked off and now I'm being bullied over a measly sum of money, while having the prospect of a future contract waved in my face like a carrot, openly stating that I should solve this drama (which I blame on their own actions) and take the loss lest I lose the future contract.

I am not even a particularly greedy person and under normal conditions I'd just let this slide and attribute the whole thing to a failure in communication and take the loss. But these fucks have been repeatedly shitty towards me and I am nearly certain they hold 90+% of the blame for this bullshit incident and are just using it as a way to test me.

I guess their logic is that I'm a reasonable person who will be pushed to take this reasonable loss, dust off and move on. They don't expect I am autistic enough to slam the brakes on the entire thing over this and that I'll just submit to their bullshit. But I am very much the kind of retard who will.

Tomorrow and in the coming days, I'll see if my gambit pays off and they back down and start acting reasonable. I'll tell them that we should indeed cancel everything and maybe they'll stop fucking with me like this. Or they won't, and will just agree to cancel everything which I don't want. The only consoling thought I have is that even if this does happen, it's probably preferable to never be dealing with this sort of bullshit again - especially at a higher scale. It certainly isn't worth the neurotic nervous typhoon I find myself in.
No. 42430
No. 42432
40 kB, 500 × 694
Nah it's actually quite fine in your 20s mostly. Teenage years fucking SUCKED usually and one part of that is being close to young adult but having none of the freedoms or experience to hold your shit together and so on. The only nice thing about being a teenager is not getting charged as an adult.

The first half of your 20s are the best part of life. You're most likely to have a real lover around this time, often before the the point by years or decades of becoming bitter and jaded, you have real freedom and all the energy and youth and a few resources to do something about it with none of the crushing responsibilities of real adulthood.

It's basically around age 25-27 that everything begins to go to shit. Here be responsibilities and burdens, and this will likely be the first time in your life you have noticed not bouncing back after a night on the town, or feeling sick from chain smoking, or beginning to show certain health problems, and for a good number of men this is when your first stealth hair follicles fall out before shit gets fucked up in your 30s. It's when your metabolism vaguely begins slowing down and you start to notice not having the energy to do things, nor the enthusiasm frankly, and that you can't just eat whole pizza pies or tubs of ice cream without worrying about losing it quickly. Basically this is when full adulthood begins setting in and it's complete shit. You'll likely be stuck in something you absolutely fucking hate, or with a woman you're starting to lose a bit of zest for as changing diapers begins draining you.

The whole process is a shitshow and frankly everybody who checked out and joined the 27 Club was probably right to do so. I can think of so many things that made not killing myself before age 20 worthwhile. I can think of a great many things that made me feel the same about age 25. By age 27, eh less so not really. After that there's really no relevance to staying alive if you havent got a family or some kind of fortune allowing you to publicly act like a total cunt, or have a conquering army beneath your helm. No one is trying to remove Ghoulash? Trapped in a society that frowns upon starting a war for no damn good reason at all? Well then either singularly devote yourself to some passion you enjoy and either a profession you do too or some soulsucking exploitation that at least bankrolls that passion, or raise a family, or give up on life. Pic related +5 years.
No. 42434
This post takes the cake for being the whiniest pile of wank I've ever read.
No. 42435
I am increasingly really curious why the Germans keep swiping our wildlife and various other animals for us and it's causing me an uncomfortable amount of positivity towards the German people
Or at least I think that's a German accent. It sounds that way with my AC on although they look kinda French which confuses me. Could they also just be Belgians or Swiss or some form of, uh I forget the French border regions name.
No. 42440
I was 20 when I graduaded as well and it's just because of the cutoff day for elementary school. My brother was enrolled in school with 6 or so and my mum had the impression that it was too early so I got enrolled with 7. Then usual 13 years and that makes 20 or let's say 19 because technically it happened before my birthday that year.
No. 42441
Sorry for disappointing you. Those family's roots lie judged from their accent in Italy or Spain.
The mother has the strongest accent.
You can also hear her say:'Querido'... so they are most likely from Spain

>some form of, uh I forget the French border regions name.
No. 42443 Kontra
>click through amateur porn accounts
>outdoor fuggings video
>that forest looks oddly german
>read the description that states they went to Germany for hiking

A real patriot knows his country :DDDD
No. 42445
I've been increasingly noticing shipping problems. I'm kind of suspecting that there's been some lag time with USPS and various businesses getting overwhelmed.
No. 42446
Transport companies have been dealing with backed up orders since the pandemic kicked off. It should stabilize soon.
No. 42452
The guy who lives above me is an old salt who works in maritime navigation, balding with a big grey beard and likes his ales. Basically a friendly pirate you can have a chuckle with.

Only he has a tradition where as soon as the clock strikes 1600 on a Thursday he will blast Billie Eilish's Bad Guy. So I'll be there in my last meeting of the day and as it starts to turn into Friday people start hearing bum-ba-du-dum over the line. It took me a good while to understand what I was hearing.

I don't know where you're getting this from, as I get older everything seems to get easier and less stressful for me. It's not just that I'm materially better off or that I think real good, people in their 20s can't handle stress while simultaneously going through all sorts of stressful bullshit.

What the fuck. Did you still get to play contact-sport and floor the young'uns?

I don't understand how you're profiting from this. They'll just cancel down the line and you will have put work in for nothing.
No. 42455
>Did you still get to play contact-sport and floor the young'uns?

I don't get what you want to say.

I can explain my age quite simply. When I enrolled in school the longest possible school trajectory ahead was 13 years. As me mum was able to keep me in kindergarten for another year I went with 7 instead of 6 or 5 which is more common, I was the oldest pretty much all the time, only two people who were born one day before me were older :DDD.
And the longest years you have to go to school was set to 12 years some time agowhich means 6+12=18, finishing school with 18 or seventeen being able to attend university is/was normal, I dunno it's different from federal state to federal state, I think, some went back to 13 years. Dunno really since I don't care about school no more for nearly 10 years now.
No. 42458
18 kB, 480 × 539
I've already made money with them and after today it seems I will continue to do so. The people I am dealing with, at least on a lower level are just complete shitheads and they're nonstop testing to see where they can save a tiny profit here or a little something there by seeing how far they can push me.

Today I told them we should indeed just cancel everything and make a full return on their money and they said no, and fully paid the smaller sum they were haggling over. By now I already know this particular client simply behaves like this due to being used to having the power to push people into taking small losses for the tiniest of benefit. They're somehow both loaded with cash and willing to spend an absurd amount of time arguing over paltry sums that a first worlder wouldn't. I've had to send three e-mails over an afternoon because they kept going variations of "We'd accept, but we want a better price" which peaked in haggling over if they could get a price reduction of 30.00€ (Thirty euros and zero cents). They've just been constantly testing for the past months to see how much a profit they can eat off my work, but they'll suddenly become reasonable when you repeat "no" enough times and appear ready to walk out.

It's really some shitty behavior, but I suppose it's part and parcel of dealing with people, especially those who are used to having power over smaller businesses. They aren't even productive in any way when they trying to pull this shit, but they do it anyways like a fly repeatedly trying to pass through a closed window.
No. 42460
I mean that as you were older than everyone you were physically bigger by a long-way when you started. I'm not sure this happens in Britain, instead September-November are common times for people to have children because it gives them a big edge in the early years of school.

It doesn't mean much now but a year makes a big difference to children in terms of size and development. So much so that it shows that summer-children statistically perform worse in life.

Why not increase your prices and then give them a discount each time they ask back to the original price. Flow like water :DDDD
No. 42464
If you don't desperately need the money, your dignity is more important. Furthermore, if you don't establish yourself as someone with limits to how bad you can be treated, you will keep being treated like shit. Apparently self-destructive standards of dignity can actually pay off in the long-run.
No. 42466
I'm 6ft or little above but a lanky one, so my physical appearence did not so much I think.
But yeah, a year of difference can be crucial, my mom saw how it went with my brother in school and alas I'm finishing with a very good bachelor and will attend a master, I was bad in high school, good in elemnetary school and I got the Abitur unlike my brother. And I'm a summer child :DDD since I was stalled in kindergarden for another year I have the biggest advantage :DDD
No. 42467
Tomorrow I'll get the results. I'm freaking out.
Though I haven't been feeling this well in days.

Well, I haven't noticed much difference. There were plenty of other redshirted kids, and by the time HS came, it hardly mattered.
I'm not exactly a man of strong stature, so I never really commanded respect just by looking at someone.
No. 42476
Can any sysadmin / webdev pros recommend me some cheap VPS / cloud (whatever that means) hosting providers? I want to play around with it, make some chat bots and "apps", host some files, route my traffic through there, etc. And just in general learn how to run a server (even if a virtual one).
I have a few providers already picked out, but maybe the local eggsperts have some personal recommendations.

also, not sure which distro to use, probably something that doesn't need much ram, I don't wanna rent 2 gigs to run a python script that shits out text into a chat room, lol.

also, it's quite disgusting how much more expensive hosting is here compared to europe/usa, they're fleecing the local population who don't know any better.
No. 42477
366 kB, 564 × 600
I got the results.
>Mathematics - 55%
>Advanced History - 83%

I couldn't care less about mathematics, but the history result is nice. I get 50 extra points for taking the advanced exam, so basically it's net gain of ~30 points, which according to the official calculator puts my score in the 460s out of 500.
Hopefully that's enough to get accepted to a government funded spot. Last year the lowest score accepted was ~340.
This year the number of applicants has been record low, so I don't know how that'll influence the acceptance rates.

I'm tired.
No. 42478
Check out uberspace.de, it's somewhat limited but has a pay-what-you-want model and the staff is very friendly and helpful indeed.
No. 42482
Shit, that sounds perfect. I was about to shell out 5-10 bucks a month with only a hazy understanding of what I actually need or want. Here, it's like a "from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs" deal. Hail gommunismus :-D

Although, I'm sure they're turning a decent profit, considering most people will be paying $5 to run a couple scripts and maybe a blog.
No. 42483
245 kB, 935 × 658
10 kB, 763 × 891
I had a Virgin Mobile cell phone which was on a "pay by the minute" plan(no contract, no names-Saul Goodman would approve :D) It was the cheapest option, since I never make or recieve calls, and only needed to add $20 every 90 days. So, $7 a month, not bad. Well, Virgin recently sold their cell phone business to Boost Mobile, who just zeroed out my existing balance(it "expired"). It was almost $400, since I had the phone for years, and as I said, I never used it for calls or internet, and the money couldn't be used for anything else. So while I haven't really been harmed by losing that balance, I still don't like that Virgin/Boost got to keep the money without providing a service. Maybe I should have called a random hotline number and just put the phone down for a few hours.

>It doesn't mean much now but a year makes a big difference to children in terms of size and development. So much so that it shows that summer-children statistically perform worse in life.
I recall reading about the importance of your birth month. For athletes, Jan-Apr was the sweet spot. The first chapter of Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell decribes the "Matthew Effect"(something sociologists had observed, and named after the bible verse Matt 25:29 “For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him”). To summarize, as student athletes are grouped by their age, arbitrary "cut-off" dates result in children who are 10 years old and 1 day(December births, for example) competing against children who are 10 years old and 11 months(January births). The older/larger children perform better, and recieve more attention, which compounds their early advantage. Pic 2 is the end result.
I was a late year birth, and due to our school calender I started kindergarten when I was 4. At least I grew early, so I was the same size as the other kids.
No. 42484
Went on spring cleaning. Moved all of the furniture in my room, swept and mopped the floors everywhere, wiped every surface, disassembled PC, washed the components in a dishwasher (2 days ago), threw out old garbage, etc. Feels good man. The air is noticeably fresher.
Only problem is that after rebuilding PC I think something's shorting out slightly in my PC because there's buzzing sounds (maybe pinched wire, but no averse effects so far), and also now that I'm in a clean room, slightest presence of dust is giving me autismus, and I'm qute distressed by how quickly dust accumulates day to day. I need a small handheld vacuum cleaner so I can sweep the floors and table with it a couple times a day.
No. 42487
All TelComs should be nationalized along with our prisons and hospitals.
No. 42488
Why not have both?
Maybe there's place for a sort of "meta-competitive market". As in, competition not only between private enterprises, but competition between private and public sector as well. Competition from public sector will prevent private entities from fleecing the public. Availability of private alternatives will prevent the public entities from becoming corrupt.
Of course, the public service offerings will always be "bare minimum" and of "lower quality", and private sector will be able to optimize and provide "premium" service, and detractors will say "well what's the point of having nationalized services when they're so low quality", but the whole point of them is that they're always available, which means private entities won't be able to charge premium prices for bare minimum services. What's worse than bad healthcare? Good healthcare you can't afford, etc.
There's this picture floating around the internet that compares "innovation in public vs private sector", with examples such as blackboard vs iphone, bus vs sports car, etc., which I always found funny in how misguided it is.
No. 42492
26 kB, 713 × 611
Superior option: abolishment of state and company interests. The market consists of free association of industrial unions.

Say no to drugs market centralisation, kids.
No. 42495
302 kB, 878 × 960
8 kB, 200 × 133
The surviving unions largely got corrupted by the mob which is arguably one of the most Capitalistic business associations in the country. It's a nice dream though. It would be nice if we had something like mutualism or more coops.

The funniest thing though is this crisis in particular has shown me painfully clearly how utterly inefficient and fucking retarded but moreover destined to self destruction American Capitalism really is. There's going to come a time at which the nation's critical resources and industries are all owned by the Chinese and foreign multinationals. Only then will a few people begin to realize what a shit system it always was when the people doing the exploiting are all yellow and brown and living in other countries. In fact that's already been happening here and I understand Australia and Canada are among the worst affected by it for some reason.
No. 42496
>There's going to come a time at which the nation's critical resources and industries are all owned by the Chinese and foreign multinationals
This is how dialectic works

t. authoritarian Commie forced to live like a socdem at best
No. 42498
297 kB, 600 × 596
the mosquitoes have borned
No. 42505
Yes. I've woken up three nights in a row after being sure I had killed all mosquitos prior to going to bed.
Tuesday night, two mosquitos had entered my room and I neutralized both mid-air via the shaolin clap. I went to sleep only to two hours later being brought back to consciousness by the mosquito's melodic vuvuzela like sound. I killed the fugger and turned off the lights... and I could hear a faint zzzt somewhere.

I know where they're laying eggs - a small pond and I've really, really felt the urge to go there a dump fucking poison into it. But I can't, because It'd seep into some aquifer and giving everyone in the area sänser :DD
No. 42506

It worked and everything went okay. Some people really are hell to deal with and should be assigned a social worker.
No. 42507
Industrial Unions and solidarity not Trade Unions and organised oppression okay, praise Joe Hill.
No. 42513
So uh yeah does anyone know if SARS the boogaloo is transmissible by blood and survive mosquito guts? Because wouldnt that ensure this is endemic everywhere and that all our own bats will start getting it? not that you'd ever want to touch a fucking bat of all things those things carry rabies which is more terrifying to me than just about anything

I like you :---DDDDDDD
No. 42518
protip: Dust assembles visibly only on smooth and glossy surfaces because there it can move around and form larger structures. On rough surfaces like a carpet most dust particles remain where they are and thus distribute as they fall, eg. with gaussian distribution. I've only recently understood this and when the time comes I will replace the smooth floor with actual wood that has a rough surface.

Of course, the source of dust is anything moving fabric and tissue, so having carpets around will increase the dust on smooth surfaces.

In its core principle the relationship of smooth surfaces and the existence of vac-cleaners pretty much fits the design of a torture device.
No. 42539
That is a very interesting observation indeed.
But one problem with rough surfaces is that even if their dust accumulation is less noticeable, they have the problem of gunk accumulation. You know, oils, organic matter, anything sticky. And while getting rid of dust is relatively easy, getting rid of gunk requires more serious effort.

Then again, there's an idea that having a few hot spots of problems (in anything in general) is better than having the same amount but distributed evenly, since there's less entropy. I'll have to think about that.

My problem right now is that my walls are painted with matte paint, it literally soaks up oils and dirt, and it's impossible to wash it off, only paint over again. Walls painted with glossy paint would not have this issue.
No. 42551
>Matte paint
I have the same, but what's even worse, my walls have this "orange peel" texture, which you can't just wipe clean. Or, at least when you do, it still looks dirty. I once talked to a painter, and he said the reason they rarely use glossy paint-and the reason they apply textures-was to hide flaws in the construction. Surface imperfections are more apparent on a glossy surface, and so most places use matte paint. Beyond that, adding texture makes flaws nearly impossible to spot. Instead of seeing small bulges over nail heads and fixed holes, or a clear line at the joints, your eye is distracted by the thousands of tiny raised particles that they spray onto the wall prior to painting. I don't like that kind of applied texture, because it feels dishonest, as though they're trying to create the illusion of a perfectly constructed wall. It's the same thing with "popcorn texture" on ceilings. Now, I don't mind seeing nail heads, or joint tape-they're part of the building, and if they end up visible, then they're visible. They're necessary and, therefore, honest. Texture is unnecessary, and therefore adding it strikes me as an intentional attempt to deceive :D.
No. 42564
Had the fuckers last week practically eating me alive. Ended up buying some repellent but I think they settle down after a time.

Next will come the flying ants.

You can't get coronavirus from Mosquitoes. Only some specialised tropical illnesses are possible which is why mozzies are just annoying for most of the world and we can dare to drink alcohol.
No. 42654
So I just gave who I kinda presumed a homeless dude a dollar today and he confronted me about it. I've seen the guy for over a year now collecting cans everywhere. Fat guy, smelled like he sharted on the bus a few times, was never totally sure if he was mentally with it because I never heard him talk before. I think this might be the second time I gave him a dollar unprompted. So this time he actually had the chutzpah to ask me for something more like $20.

I ended up giving him three bucks but I thought about it and he's right. Here I am completely wasting my money on stupid shit like $5 worth of lottery tickets and this was right after thinking hey I didn't spend that much money today. He said what can I even get for a dollar. I mean on the one hand my immediate reaction internally was obvious. I never even got asked I simply gave it to him. But on the other hand, yeah, I am not actually hurting for money for once and if I could afford to throw five bucks into the bonfire why am I being so stingy? Greed. It is greed and fear. Because when you've been poor for so long you get locked into this shtetl mindset. I'll just call it that. You can always take the poor Jew out of the shtetl, but you can never take the shtetl out of the poor Jew. You're always going to internally be a bit penny pinching because you automatically assume you have no money and even if you did it's probably not going to be there tomorrow.

So my entire mindset has become basically how do I even know that I can afford rent in August? And yet I've blown all this money over these past for months like any poor person with a sudden injection of cash immediately before going back to the mindset you have no money after blowing hundreds of dollars even if you had hundreds or thousands more.

I'm becoming what I always hated. It isnt even like I have a lot of money because I don't, but relative to my position a few months or few years ago I have some liquidity with the potential for more so long as I don't get kicked off unemployment for a few more weeks. It's the first time I've had an inner conflict in quite awhile. Do injust give in to the glide to neutral evil and being a selfish fuck? Or do I try not to become the person I fucking hated if I ever became semi-wealthy or successful? Or most importantly, how does the way I'd want to view myself if I ever actually did win the lottery with how I'd actually end up behaving? Talk is cheap, and thoughts are cheaper, and that man or angelic voice directly challenged me on that today and I feel like I failed.
No. 42713
139 kB, 500 × 494
Inquired someone about a special interest of mine
Be told it is in a FB group
Login Facebook after having deactivated it several years ago
Still the same shit as always
However, see that there are so many people I had met in my life
Put up a post "I want to stay in contact by writing, please contact me if you'd like to receive a letter or message"

Not. One. Single. Response.
No. 42716
Weather on last panel is better. Fuck hot sun
No. 42725
I already kinda disowned everybody on purpose. I think it ess the right thing to do.
No. 42732
I've decided to finally thoroughly clean up the apartment, and do some sort of an inventory, throwing away all the useless crap that has collected here overtime, some of the things I'm going through haven't been touched by a human being in years.

I found my old fencing gear, put it on and just walked around in it for awhile, it felt kinda baggy because I have much less of a gut nowadays, maybe I should go back to training when the lockdown is over and I've found a stable employment.

Another thing I found was some photos of my father, he's been dead for a long time now, and a picture of his father from his deployment in the Korean war.

Also found a few love letters from a girl I dated ~10 years ago, she thought it was romantic to write and actually mail them to me. Didn't read through them because I didn't want to invoke and nostalgia-tinted feelings.

What a weird day it was.
No. 42759
I got some money as a graduation gift. Economy is down the shitter, but I'm glad I got something at all.
Americans get a car traditionally for graduation, right?
Though they told me that if I managed to successfully pass my German exam next week, I can keep the money. The state gives you back your exam-fee if you get your first certificate.
Ordered a bunch of books. Maybe I'll even get myself a bottle of Jäger.

I've been training myself to do pull-ups and I can almost do one after two weeks of training. Exercise has been doing me good. I feel a lot less susceptible to the weather now.
Not perfect, but completely manageable.

Two days ago we went bowling with my family. I had a pizza and a beer and I promptly lost all rounds because I couldn't roll the ball straight. It was fun.
What a shame we forgot to pick up the doggy-bag afterwards.

I've been sitting on a half finished letter for a few days now. Basically I'm just trying to reply to the replies people sent to my letters notifying them of my results. It's weird to have people care about me.
Writing letters is kind of fun.

My days are incredibly boring as I'm doing nothing other than watching House M.D. trying to finish Terraria.
People say it's normal to have a sort of collapse after a long period of stress, so I have no qualms about taking some time off.
No. 42760
39 kB, 470 × 230
>Maybe I'll even get myself a bottle of Jäger.

oha, don't overact now, my friend. :3
Btw congrats.
No. 42761
899 kB, 487 × 560, 0:01
I ordered a new computer chair as it seems increasingly likely I'll still be working from home come January. Have been bouncing between working in bed and doing calls on a kitchen counter because there's no space in my flat which I think has made me less productive.

What I didn't factor was that, of course, my desk for the computer chair is a kitchen counter and therefore falls comically short. I only realised this after I'd assembled it. There's a foldout table but it's blocked by the bed so I have to work off a corner.
No. 42803
840 kB, 800 × 600
>Read a tiny book about cybernetics
>digital technology is under the dictate of mathematics, digital communication is mathematically formatted by binary decision paradigms and what not
>media studies has left out the mathematical which is the "bottom" (ontologically) of todays ubiquitous digital technology
>don't know maths
>probably studying media in autumn

I wanted to spent my master studying the human-technology relationship and now this tiny book written by a philosopher that has studied maths ( in a lecture he said he was always interested in the limits of mathematics) makes it look like the only way is a critique of the mathematical formation of the human through digital technology. Heidegger is the humanist anchor for the author, meh. He has good arguments, but I think it comes mostly by me not having much clue about mathematics. Sadly. I think over the last 12 months I understood more about maths as a field than in all my school years. What are concepts that are important for maths and such.
No. 42806
That's all ultimately just a human abstraction though. Binary is itself nothing but a human abstraction as are all computer languages. They are not built in to any kind of definitive mathematical understanding of either nature or human culture, and thus arguably it is a rather schizophrenic approach to both to try conforming humanity to such an abstraction, which is arguably the folly of any ideology, and thus could be argued to be an ideology unto itself.
No. 42814
I'm not so sure if there is not a reference to something "real" in mathematics, yet the question remains if everything can be reduced or said via mathematics.
The author treats cybernetics as an episteme (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Episteme) in which things become mathematized, for instance communication (Claude E. Shannon). As you said it's a matter of conforming things to mathemathics. I just wonder if that is all that can be said about digital technology, its genuine mathematical preformation of everything it "touches" and that gets codified by it, gets codified into a binary logics. That which cannot be codified in that way is left out. It's seems like a valid critique and I'm somehow happy I'm reading it, but the totality that is diagnosed there seems in itself a total judgement, when it comes to digital technology. I know that studying media is more than digital technology but still, there is a thought that this cannot be the end, he cuts of any potential or unforeseen events because the logic of cybernetics, basically mathematics, does not seem to bear any of it. I'm not sure what to make out of a sentence that states that mathematical models work and being consistent, but they have no ontological or epistemological significance.
What he is giving in as contra to all that is Heideggerian thought that is taken up by Derrida and Nancy, somewhere else that branch of thought is labled as radicalization of critique.
Meaning, Hermeneutics and Difference, critique of metphysics and universalisms, totalities - postructuralist (postmodernism) thought that is interested in what is apart from the logos of western thought. Valid, but also "dated", I'm looking for post postmodernity :D. But then again, having a look at history, a few decades are nothing when it comes to thoughts/intellectual history, we might meddle even longer with what has been done in the decades following WW2.
No. 42818
16 kB, 308 × 400
There isn't much I can do to silence or tone down my inner thoughts who always seem to revolve around doom and gloom. I am pessimistic and always presume the worst case scenario, I have elaborate mental images of the worst of people around me and I often think everyone really dislikes me. On some level, I think all my friends just tolerate me and that I'm a disappointment or a disgusting being to people around me. I realize this isn't the case, but my mind naturally wanders there. I try to think of projects I embark on in the most pessimistic way and will always end up trying to portray it to myself as pathetic attempts that will fail and expose myself as a sorry excuse for a human being.

There isn't much I can do about the existence of these thoughts and avoiding them leads to greater anxiety which then turn into self fulfilling prophecies of disaster. I can't ignore all these thoughts because I need anxiety to function and they serve a crucial purpose of keeping me focused on issues. And even if I manage to distract myself from them, I can never truly end these thoughts, they'll return louder.

I've found that the only way I really have to deal with worrying about who or what I am is to do my best. I dedicate myself to work, I workout and study in my free time and results are becoming visible. I am happier now than I was some months ago and I am constantly trying to be a better person, this has become my new purpose in life.

Even if tragedy befalls me and I am forced to endure suffering, it wont be something I can feel guilty about since I am genuinely trying my best to improve myself and things around me. I can only control my own actions and I accept this, in fact it is what gives my soul any solace.
No. 42826
25 kB, 723 × 230
Continued reading Colonisation today. Found this gem.
No. 42827
So the MA-1 I got on clearance arrived in the post today. Unfortunately, it's a bit big in the shoulders and so doesn't sit right on my frame, but it was also way cheaper than normal so I can't complain too much even though I am disappointed. It doesn't look like a potato sack, just a bit big for me. I'll probably do the old trick of using patches to 'take in' the sleeves a bit and hide the fold behind them :-D
No. 42863
I'm back in Canada and under Quarantine for two weeks (not a problem since work can be done remotely).
Haven't posted in a while. That's partially as a result of current events—I don't want to get into stupid unproductive arguments. Thankfully the today thread is spared. Now I feel the urge to read posts and threads I missed. I shouldn't really, they don't provide much benefit. EC is still ultimately a time waster—just less than many imageboards. Recently, I got on a Mesopotamian mythology kick (Epic of Gilgamesh, Atrahasis, Adapa and the South Wind, etc.) where I read the material and listen to various lectures about the subject matter. I am also listening to Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes while washing dishes, doing work outside, etc. At chapter 11 so far. I feel as if I do not get the chance to properly reflect while listening to the audiobook. Probably the best way to think through his work and absorb the key ideas and nuances is to read it in a physical form and take notes on a separate duotang while reading. But that's like, work, man... I might make a post about it after I finish it and gather my thoughts properly (maybe even after I do in fact read it in a physical form).
No. 42865
lol my mobile network is such that I appear to be from Texas (roaming).
No. 42866
  1. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
  2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
  3. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
  4. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity". And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."
  5. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
  6. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December (if your lucky)
  7. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Chevy, Dodge, or Ford is.
  8. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.
  9. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
  10. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto the shoulder that is called "courtesy", if you dont understand this, reconsider moving to Texas, I hear north of the mason/dixon is nice this time of year.
  11. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors.
  12. Yes, weddings, funerals, and divorces must take into consideration Football Game.
  13. Everything is better with Ranch dressing
  14. DO NOT honk your horn at us to be obnoxious, we will sit there until we die.
  15. We pull over and stop for emergency vehicles to pass.
  16. We pull over for funeral processions, turn our music off and men remove hats or caps. Some people put their hand over their heart.
  17. "Bless your Heart" is a nice way of saying you're an idiot.
  18. If you don't like the weather in Texas, wait 15 minutes, it will change.
  19. Hauling hay is a rite of passage.
  20. Big Red is not a gum!!!
No. 42867
t. Hank Hill
No. 42870
>I am also listening to Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes while washing dishes, doing work outside, etc. At chapter 11 so far. I feel as if I do not get the chance to properly reflect while listening to the audiobook. Probably the best way to think through his work and absorb the key ideas and nuances is to read it in a physical form and take notes on a separate duotang while reading. But that's like, work, man... I might make a post about it after I finish it and gather my thoughts properly (maybe even after I do in fact read it in a physical form

You are right, that would be work. And it would be even better when you take the notes after reading, which helps with remembering what you read even better. Or mark sentences in a chapter and then sum that chapter up by looking at a few marks you made.
At work I sometimes can listen to a podcast since I'm alone doing manual stuff. I only grasp half of it but it's better than nothing, still remember a few things. A few hours a week spent by listenting half assed to an interesting topic is better than not doing it at all and just doing manual stuff with an empty head. You can fill the void work is causing doing it like that.
No. 42872
Good morning everyone. God I love being able to sleep in. I don't even plan on getting out of ky pajamas at all today. It just sucks about the pandemic because I can't just waltz around in my PJs because I don't want to get the coof sprayed all over my clothes and then lie around in bed and spread it everywhere, although at least in my region shit's under control. For now. We'll see how the country having nonstop protests from left and right and reopening works out.
I don't even actually feel bad for saying this even though I really should but by God have I been doing better these last for months than I have been in literally years and years and years. I've been in a shit ass miserable series of situations particularly 2016-2019 and this is literally better than I've actually been doing and/or living since like 2012. But I'm an American right now. Which means I don't want to tempt fate and end up getting killed or dying by something or having to put up with the millions of shitty things I may end up having to put up with because I don't live in my own cabin in the middle of nowhere like I often wish I did.

In other news I got my full spectrum CBD gummies in the male today which finally came as opposed to the separate shipment. I cannot believe that some of this shit is even legal. I've figured out that the problem is not with CBD but the fact that it's pretty much a totally unregulated market right now so some shit doesn't even actually have anything in it but Splenda and die and flavoring, and other stuff is just so completely diluted it's terrible, usually found at gas stations and certain sketchy "tobacco shops."

What I have found instead is like in all things to be a discerning gentleman and finding the right stuff. It actually does make all my anxiety melt right away and relaxes me, but it also makes me kind of a useless unmotivated dipshit which to be fair is kinda true of benzodiazepines minus that whole addiction part. And the acting like a drunken fool part too come to think of it. Man I am really grateful right now to not have to be on any shit like chlordiazepoxide or Restoril or diazepam or klonopin or whatever. My problem is I don't like doing drugs and now that I did find the right stuff it increasingly feels like I am doing drugs, but hey it works. I just don't want to feel associated with a retarded stoner or anything. Meaning no offense. If you are one. I just have lots of bad associations with that kind of culture or mentality I guess. It just seems so very apathetic and unmotivated and bydlo to me. I feel like these might be asshole things to say I'm not sure.

Anyway it's a good day to stay in bed.

I don't understand which shitty ass fucking part of Texas you're from man but most of Texas is definitely not humid or with erratic weather. Where the fuck do you even live Corpus Christi? But you also mention hauling hay which I can't imagine you being in central to northern or West Texas or maybe it is WT because they at least could have both some humidity and hay. dry and hot and the weather doesn't change and it always stays the same with the same huge ass open skies.

I wish to travel to Russia someday so I can compare their Skies. California skies are pretty much like Texas albeit a little smaller somehow, and the weather basically feels the same at least down south. New England has really tall skies but it's actually really fucking small. I don't now how this is, but trust me it's true. Washington D.C. has normal skies for example. So does all of Virginia. I'm pretty sure this is the only state that actually has normal Skies and what the sky is supposed to look like.

I wish to visit a place like Russia someday just to compare their skies. Mordor always seems like it has really big but really short skies. Their sky just hangs impossibly too low, like you could shoot a water rocket off and hit the edge of space.

Ranch is shit
Chevy is overrated shit
Everything else is totally accurate.

Texas drivers are fucking shit. I've heard the term Masshole before and NY drivers are indeed garbage but holy fuck Texans are such complete fucking useless assholes on the road second only to Floridians. You'll notice how he basically said "go ahead and keep honking I'll just keep my big slow useless ass in a truck I never even fucking use for man's work and just my suburban status symbol idling here at the intersection and moving like a slow dumb motherfucker" and at the same breath bitches about how other drivers are in his way and going to slow. Yeah because if you're a Texan it's totally okay to be slow and an asshole but god help you if you suddenly decide to speed up at the intersection and somebody else is in your way. Perfectly fine to keep your ass in everybody else's way though.

The only really good, decent folk are Midwestern drivers. I've seen some incompetent shit from California plates. Virginians are also great drivers. I do not have any problems with Virginians except those damn carpetbaggers from NOVA it becomes a coin toss. >insert_meme_of_guy_with_normal_Virginia_face_plates_and_obvious_out_of_stater_here
No. 42892
>In other news I got my full spectrum CBD gummies in the male today which finally came as opposed to the separate shipment.
Do you have a link to where I can buy that shit? Me and my mom could sure use it.
I tried CBD oil once, but it was the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted, and I refused to open the bottle again. But at least with a gummy I can just swallow it whole if it's that bad.
No. 42894
132 kB, 320 × 240, 0:05
No. 42895
It was joke. I has nothing against texas exept probably it be generally unsafe for me
Also on related note
No. 42896
>it be generally unsafe for me

Also, Dave is awesome. His channel and Technology Connections are my favorite tech channels on YouTube.
No. 42909
>are my favorite tech channels on YouTube.
I also watchnig both of them, but from more casual I guess my favorite is Retro Man Cave, very calm and positive british person.
No. 42914
Despite having really aged animation, Mobile Suit Gundam ‘79 is excellent

t. new watcher
No. 42919
2,6 MB, 3024 × 3701
I slept for 14 hours and finally I feel right. The sun was shining after two weeks of rain so I went out and read a hundred pages in one sitting after having a coffee.
Another session like this tomorrow and I'm done with that Márai-book.

The neighbouring thot was watching movie trailers outside, so I took out a pair of earplugs to deal with the noise. I don't know why I'm so reluctant to solve my problems. People are noisy, I waste hours trying to bear with it instead of putting in an earplug. I have a headache, I hopelessly wait for it to go away instead of taking a painkiller.
It's like I'm trying to commit some sort of mini-martyrdom to prove something. It's retarded.
(I'd probably have been a lot more acceptive of the noise if I could have seen the female in question.)

My package arrived yesterday. Honestly, talking to a deliveryman is much more embarrassing than going to the store and picking it up there. It feels like I'm inconveniencing them by having the box delivered to my doorstep.
Got a few nice books anyway.
>Babits - Short stories
I haven't read any of his short stories yet so I copped small volume. It has a heart-warming inscription from 1968 stating: To Éva Nováki, A/1 student for her fruitful labour in the Communist Youth League. Even has the school's stamp and everything, so it was an official gift. I wonder if I'll get an official book gift from the school this year. My grades were excellent asides from a B in maths, so I'm actually a possible candidate.
Is getting a book as a gift at the end of the year ceremony of the school if you have good grades traditional in other countries too?
(I'm also hoping I can find a good piece to translate into English.)
>Babits on trial - Documents and letters from 1918-19
Babits got screwed over after the counter-revolution for his participation in the events of 1918-19 and I want to know exactly what that participation was from primary sources. I frankly doubt that he was a convinced communist even for a short period of time, since the most common criticism during the soviet occupation was the fact that he was incapable to grasp the Marxist concept of class during his life and choose to ignore materialism.
>Péter Polonyi - The History of China
I have some catching up to do with Chinese history. It's not an up-to-date monograph but it's not a big deal imho. I'm more interested in the things leading up to the 20th century. The previous owner seemed to have used the book a lot. It's full of notes, tone-marks on Chinese names and even hanzis.
>Egon Friedell - The History of Modern Culture
This came up during a letter exchange as a really good book about the arts. My knowledges of the arts and art history is lacking. I'll try reading at least some of it during summer.
>Horace - The Complete Works
When I was reading Latin poetry for an assignment (which wasn't a strictly necessary step in getting the assignment done, I just like doing my research well) I loved how polished and simple Roman poetry was. It's so well crafted and pretty.
So sincere. I loved it.

I'm getting my good old pseudo-intellectual self back I think.
No. 42931
> I waste hours trying to bear with it instead of putting in an earplug

Yeah, plugs can turn the tables. Saves my bookworm ass on longer train rides. But sometimes I like some noise to accompany my reading. Walter Benjamin said you need to read the surrealists in a packed Paris street café/bistro or whatever it was. Maybe it is just that reading with noise and people around gets you away from that study room feel, which kinda gets on my nerves when I have the same situation for days. You can still sink into a book with stuff going on around you, exceptions are construction sides a few meters away or other distinct and repeating noise sources.

>It feels like I'm inconveniencing them by having the box delivered to my doorstep.

It's not wrong to have that feel. It still has that old time delivery boy touch to it, some kind of service that that has the "servant" still in it.

t. former delivery slave
No. 42935
Well my only advice would be to be a discerning gentleman. Obviously don't go to where it looks like something Jesse Pinkman would set up as a site, and similarly avoid anything that looks like some shit Gwyneth Paltrow would hawk her beauty products and skin cream crystal healing or whatever the fuck. Places that sell CBD hemp flower are your best bet.

Okay like here is a perfect example of what a site should look like
I havent bought it there and quite frankly a lot of these companies are probably all just buying in bulk from like two or three or a few big wholesale supplies but whatever. Hey those prices are pretty good too. So I can't vouch for that place in particular but judging a book by its cover I'd say you could check out there. Drganja also looks fine and you could check out mrhempflower which I have tried before but it's much pricier although good quality. Like, it is such better quality to the point where it's actually worth paying twice as much. Also keep in mind where it is advertising testing. If it has chemical assays advertised it's probably trustworthy and reliable.

What I mean by Jesse Pinkman is this shit
The site itself doesnt look too sketchy but anything that looks like it sells directly to gas stations I'd avoid, and I mean, just the general drug bydloness, like that kind of place that labels their shit like "Krunked Kosmic blend XXX" and doesnt bother labeling the ingredients. You'll know it when you see it. They'll look like they run/ran a side business selling bath salts or something. Sorry but I just don't trust dealing with such people.

Actually yeah just about anything you can find under a search for "CBD hemp flower" should probably be fine. The whole first page of results I'm getting generally doesnt look terribly sketchy.

Quality will sometimes vary but there's a lot more to it because even without much THC there's varying levels of other stuff some of which I'm convinced is outside the scope of CBD and CBG which are the main things mentioned aside from THC (and CBN which idk the difference yet I opted not to buy the CBN concentrate for some reason).

I'd personally recommend smoking the buds if you can get away with that because it basically looks and smells exactly like real weed. This can cause numerous obvious problems. Which sucks because quite frankly it is the best, most effective thing for me and allows me to titrate the dosage to where its needed without finding out an hour later it's not enough or way too much. I've sampled a few oils and generally didnt seem to find anything good for some reason, though it may've been shitty companies when I did that. Also know the difference between full spectrum and just CBD. Full spectrum edibles can knock you on your ass if you're not careful which typically happens when you do something dumb like eat one on a full stomach, decide it didn't work, and eat another or couple more, then it decides to kick in. It's not like, unpleasant the way weed can be, but it's also not fun being groggy and zonked out and borderline useless all day or night. Good rule is it's like 5-15 minutes to appreciate smoking and wears off in an hour, and takes 30-1.5 hours eaten to kick in and like 6-10 hours to wear off or something like that. Idk I'm not a weed scientist. Just my two cents on that.

My best advice would be to pick a vendor that looks trustworthy, figure out your price range, buy a few grams of different things, and try that company's gummies. You can try multiple companies to get an idea since afaik some are more in house. IHF for example feels samey to me more or less, with a generally more groggy, weedy feel, and some of MHF more pep for example. Idk could be my imagination. Try to check out the actual chemical profiles of each strains. That you'll have to figure out on your own. Everyone's different. I try to find things that score 0% on THCv, THCa, THC. [S]Iirc[/s] iirc fucks sake I can go over there and look at the chemical analysis sheet so yeah CBC and high CBD & CBDa containing strains I liked best, with one surprisingly containing traces of delta-9 and THCa I'm not entirely sure why I liked that one so much considering my violent revolt against THC generally, except that it otherwise largely seemed to conform to the same general profile. I find it to be a rather pleasant, mellow, upbeat, and happy experience where the anxiety and dissociation melts right off me. CBN allegedly is hypnotic, and CBG feels like getting hit in the head with a brick. Fine if you want to sleep and don't want to take antihistamines or some terrible psych patient tier med I guess, but I'm not a big fan otherwise.

Hope that helps. Just stick with what seems a more reliable company and sample what theyve got in a small order; a lot of companies will give you coupons and discounts especially for being a new customer or if you search online you can often find codes on plebbit. The actual test result sheets won't be super useful to you at first and is partly just because it's a felony to ship weed across different state lines so they want to be able to prove to law enforcement that it's not illegal drugs if they try to confiscate it, which I haven't had happen yet but confiscation or especially mail theft might happen anyway. Alternatively you could just try tinctures from different companies and see if you find one that doesnt taste like ass, which in all honesty they shouldn't if they're not flavored. Probably not if they're flavored either usually unless you've got a more specific problem with the taste. Personally I just think they're overpriced and that those edible oils (oh yeah make sure it's actually edible) are the most prone to being bunk from a dodgy vendor, followed by gummies and cartridges. I'd not expect a company specializing in hemp flower pulling that kind of crap.
No. 42936 Kontra
Lol I typed that all up and I still fucked up. Cbdhemp.direct still sketches me out but at least it has the Certificate of Analysis. Imo that's one of the most important parts. Cbdflowerusa still looks like a trustworthy vendor to me and the presentation and product selection says to me they're reputable, particularly with the weight they're dealing in you could still end up finding the sketchballs supply crap to shady gas stations and head shops but generally idk what I'm talking about at this point it's just an impression that they're more reliable if they're able to work as a wholesaler too and the ones who'd be interested in selling samples to like the good "tobacco" store owners hoping they end up buying several pounds of it for shop inventory however it does raise a red flag that they're not openly linking to assays. They say or imply some things but CBDFUSA is not showing me the almighty Certificate of Analysis and I'm having trouble finding it anywhere alongside their flower so that makes me want to be hesitant. Like I said I havent tried them yet. Really it's just an aesthetics thing to me with the Vegas one and well it's Vegas and those weird labels just scream to me like these guys used to be selling Spice and maybe bath salts even if they're giving the C of A.

I'm sure you'll find your way around.
No. 42961
Man, why does being "interested in philosophy" seem to be a gateway to becoming an alt right retard?
I have a pen pal from the US with whom I used to talk about philosophy and politics and stuff a few years ago. Recently we started messaging again, and he became a stereotypical "enlightened" alt-right cringelord who "isn't fascist, just realist haha". He keeps linking me to alt-right "video essays" on youtube that are typically made by 20 year old NEETs living off the patreon teat from their NEET fanbase. The content itself being either rephrasing/explaining articles and papers about "behavioral genetics", "biological anthropology" and """philosophy""" to their braindead audience, and occasionally posting debunk videos about some other "youtube eassayist's" videos. It's unbelievably cringe, in large part because the whole fad of "alt right ideology" and epic BTFO "video debates" has passed its peak like 5 years ago and he's only now getting in on it. The other part of the cringe is that he thinks watching that crap makes him more learned and intellectual, and "sober about the world" lmao.
No. 42963
You sound like a pretentious douchebag.
Wanna be penpals?
No. 42967
I appreciate the walls of text, but I really just wanted to know where you're buying your shit so I can get it from there myself. The whole point of asking was so that I wouldn't have to find my way around. Thanks anyway.

At the risk of veering into biological anthropological territory, there is a kind of person who is above-average intelligence, just smart enough to feel smarter than everyone else, but not smart enough to escape the Dunning-Kruger trap and recognize when they're actually being stupid. They are stuck in a constant cycle of new discoveries that validate their sense of intellectual superiority, without ever experiencing the necessary humbling shock of self-debasement which leads to true introspection.
No. 42968
It really isn't honestly. I used to be pretty interested in it and took a bunch of philosophy courses in college although a great many of them are really just the most braindead Western materialism and softcore nihilism of Post Modernism. Actually come to think of it my philosophy classes all kind of sucked. They were basically more logic problems and navel gazing as opposed to anything one might consider actually philosophical or that ponders the nature of being.

Actually the more I think about it the more I come to realize that particularly since I graduated a lot of those classes probably just became another trash vehicle for creating the pretext of neoliberalism, and by neoliberalism i mean what the term actually means which is a variant of soulless Capitalism. It barely ever even touched on the distinction between the idealists and materialists for example.

Although even then I really can't say much for that. Probably a bunch of alt retards never actually gave any iota of a shit about philosophy and solely had an interest in muh Western hurritage memery about Greek philosophers and the typical "spede imagines himself to be Socrates while he presses submit to shitpost" meme. Moreover it sounds like this is self reported so I question to what extent any of these kids had an honest interest or more importantly any kind of study in philosophy to begin with, more than just occasionally having a copy of Beyond Good and Evil as a prop next to their Naruto figurines (which they havent read).

Judging by your description I'd go so far as to say these are not literate people. The kind of person who actually can bear to sit there and watch idiots prattling on for 20 minutes on YT is unlikely to be an intellectual or well read sort of person to begin with. I cannot imagine anyone whose read a bunch of texts by philosophers to actually be watching any "owning the libs" videos except to laugh at them, and would surmise their chief interest would be in utilizing sophistry and tautologies and deploying various logical fallacies while claiming it is their opinion who has done so.
No. 42969
>yet the question remains if everything can be reduced or said via mathematics.
if you define math as a set of formal systems it might not be possible.

however, other definitions of math are possible, including definitions that some would say border metaphysics or esoterics.
No. 42970
>including definitions that some would say border metaphysics or esoterics.

Cybernetics/System Theory is labeled by Mersch as mathematical ontology (aka metaphysics). At the "Grund" there is mathematics as truth about everything you can do it with the formalizational understanding as well. Something along the lines... it is my understanding of onotology as Seinsbestimmung
No. 42974 Kontra
Sorry lad MHF. I probably had that buried too deeply. Them I would recommend. Highest quality, just a bit pricey and mostly flower. For gummies I would recommend industrial hemp farms. IHF probably has better for you and your family if you don't want to screw around with finding strains to smoke. I say this because I'd personally avoid MHF gummies unless you've got high tolerance or are getting off Xanax or something because those can knock you on your ass (noticing the difference here between "full spectrum" and plain CBD gummies). So tl;dr try IHF gummies, try MHF flowers for example.
No. 42994
Today was pretty good. Yesterday I left outside the chair blanket and the tablecloth for the night but thankfully it didn't rain so I could still use them today.
I spent a considerable time reading outside but I had to go inside before finishing the book, because it got cloudy and I didn't want to risk staying in the rain.

I finally finished my nth Terraria playtrough. The endgame is incredibly frustrating, so I'm glad it's over.

I'm taking a German exam to get a certificate in a few days, so I'm setting things up for the online exam. It's a pain in the ass.
Honestly, the only reason I'm doing the exam is because a German-certificate increases my employment chances in the future.

I'm used to general noise because I've been reading on my daily commute since I was 15. The only noise I can't handle is videos/music played on a phone, pop music and asinine talking. (Plus the machine-tools you mentioned.)
It's just that the neighbours are especially good at all of these, including powertool use.
No. 42995
> I'm doing the exam is because a German-certificate increases my employment chances in the future.

Be careful how long it is valid and if it can "exipre". English certificates tend to do so and atm you don't need a certificate that expires in 2 or 4 years since you want to study first. If it will be valid until the end of time, I said nothing.
No. 43005
Thanks. IMF is a bitch to buy from though (won't take my card, have to use a sketchy pay service or wire transfer or bitcoin otherwise).

I have no interest in smoking pot, I just want the therapeutic effects of it, so I'll probably set up a bitcoin wallet so I can buy from IMF. It'll be a good thing to have in general, I guess.
No. 43006

Did you mean IHF or MHF? Either of those I have never really had a huge problem although I think once I had issues with trying to get IHF to process my card. It ended up going through, couldve been I didnt have all script blockers properly turned off I forget. You shouldn't have to fuck around with bitcoin for either of them and frankly I'd think it sketchy if they ever asked that of you, but then again I've been noticing lots of things seem to prefer BTC for some reason these days.
No. 43015
>Cybernetics/System Theory is labeled by Mersch as mathematical ontology (aka metaphysics)
ich dachte, bei der kybernetik geht's im weitesten sinne um prozeßsteuerung, also im speziellen z.b. um relaistechnik, robotik, umwelt- und biotechnologie oder auch um "social engineering". das ist alles materialistisch und kommt mit numerischer mathematik aus. wie schlägt denn mersch den bogen zu purer, genauer mathematik (wenn er es tut)? geht er ins detail darüber, wo oder wie mathematik und metaphysik sich seiner meinung nach berühren? das fände ich nämlich ziemlich interessant. wenn man sich ein bißchen mit zahlentheorie beschäftigt kommt man früher oder später in einen bereich, wo sich grundlegende fragen stellen, die man zunächst als "metaphysisch" bezeichnen könnte. aber warum soll man gleich den göttlichen äther bemühen, wenn man vor einem scheinbar unlösbaren problem steht? das wäre aus wissenschaftlich-philosophischer sicht doch höchst unbefriedigend.
No. 43017
Nah, language-certificates don't expire here. Once you have them, they're yours to keep and put on your resume forever.
No. 43018
Letztlich handelt es sich bei der Kybernetik ja auch um Modelle von X als System, aber:
>Modelle stehen für sich; ihre Gültigkeit bezieht sich nicht auf die Wirklichkeit, die sie zu beschreiben vorgeben, vielmehr bildet ihr immanentes Kriterium allein ihre Kohärenz und Konsistenz. Darin gleichen sie selbst schon mathematischen Begriffen. Wie die Existenz mathematischer Gegenstände einzig an Widerspruchsfreiheit gekoppelt ist, sind sie, weil sie möglich sind. Ihnen umgekehrt ein ontologisches oder epistemologisches Mandat zu verleihen, hieße, sie verfehlen.[...] Das heißt es in Modellen zu denken: Entscheidend ist, ob sie Resultate zeitigen, nicht, ob sie adäquat sind. [Hervorhebung original]

Naja, es gibt noch Sachen zur Information und dessen mathematischen Charakter und auf die Binarität bin ich auch nicht eingegangen. Ich bin auch kein Mathematiker, im Gegenteil, aber ich habe mich in letzter Zeit vermehrt mit Formalisierung beschäftigt.

Ich kann das Buch nur empfehlen, es ist wirkrich fix gelesen und befasst sich mit der Technologie der Gegenwart auf eine Weise, wie sie mir so nicht untergekommen ist. Die mathematische Bedingugn der Gegenwart, wie Mersch Erich Hörl umdeutet, der wiederum nach einer Beschreibung der technologischen Bedingung gesucht hat.
Also es ist keine klassiche Medientheorie. Am Wochenende habe ich noch einen Text von Mersch gelesen: Wozu Medienphilosophie? Den gibt es als pdf kostenlos, wenn man googlet. Dort wird einserseits eine "Definition" (des gerade nicht definierbaren) von Medien, Medium und Medialität vorgenommen und dies dann von Medientheorie abgegrenzt. Medialität stattdessen berührt die Philosophie sehr, ist sozusagen Mitten in bzw. vor ihr und ein philosophisches Problem und nicht (allein) ein technisches. Sehr interessant über diesesn "Raum" des Medialen, dem "Zwischen", nachzudenken.
No. 43019 Kontra
fucking shit, that is the second half, boardsoftware makes trouble becaus post might be too long
No. 43020
Also Kybernetik kann man erstmal als Prozessteuerung bzw. Steuerungslehre verstehen. Dabei wird eben etwas in systemische Begrifflichkeiten gefasst und als System verstanden (Kybernetik ist ein episteme in dem Sinne und so will Mersch es auch verstanden wissen), das kann das berühmte Thermostat sein, aber auch die Gesellschaft oder der Mensch, die Psychologie gibt es z.B. auch systemisch.

>wo oder wie mathematik und metaphysik sich seiner meinung nach berühren?

Mersch spricht sich gegen die Kybernetik als Ontologie aus, da das Mathematische für ihn Grenzen hatwie glaube ich erwähnt, hat er Mathe studiert und einige Jahre als Dozent für Wirtschaftsmathematik gearbeitet und Anfang der 1990er dann in Philosophie promoviert, wodurch ihr ontologischer Anspruch nicht eingelöst werden kann. Also wer Kybernetik tatsächlich mit ontologischem Anspruch versieht, sind Kybernetiker bzw. Systemiker, die auf die Kybernetik/Systemik als Universalwissenschaft setzen und sie damit zu einer mathematisch fundierten Toatlität machen würden, alles geht über die Mathematik.
Die Kybernetik als eine mathematisch grundierte Theorie oder Gedankengebäude propft sich allem auf, dem Politischen, dem Sozialen, dem Denken; alles das und noch mehr ließe sich kybernetisch begreifen als System, Merschs Problem ist dann aber, das allem dann die Logik der Mathematik und eine "Techno-logik" zugrunde liegt.
>Die Kybernetik hat in dieser Hinsicht die äußerste Konsequenz gezogen: Ersetzung der klassichen Mechanik und ihrer Physik durch Mathematik und Informationstheorie probably should have made that distinction as well paraphrasing his argument, dunno in what way informationtheory is mathematics as well. Gleichzeitig impliziert sie die Gleichsetzung des Gehirns und seines Nervensystems als Entscheidungs-, Imaginations- und Erinnerungsorgan mit der Rechenmaschine und damit bruchlose Identifizierung von Denken und Rechnen als Inbegriff ebenso systemischer wie algorithmischer Vernunft.

In der Fußnote dazu heißt es, Denken werde abendländisch mit Logik verbunden, aber wer entscheidet das? [Rekurs auf Heidegger in der ganzen Fußnote]
No. 43021
Die Formalisierung bildet den Kern der Kybernetik. Ein Beispiel wäre eben Claude E. Shannons mathematische Theorie der Kommunikation Oder Karl W. Deutschs The Nerves of the Government, welches Politik eben als Systemprozess versteht. Es interessier laut Mersch allein die Synthax, also Operativität, was völlig fehlt in der Kybernetik ist Semantik, Sinn und da sind wir wieder bei Heidegger, der sich nämlich genau dafür stark gemacht hat: Hemeneutik.
Letztlich ist es so, das mit der Wahl der Kybernetik als episteme alles mathematisch formatiert würde, auch der Mensch und damit hat Mersch ein Problem. Ich selbst habe Interesse an Reza Negarestanis Inhumanismus, der sich für ein prozesshaftes Verständnis vom Menschen ausspricht. Der Mensch ist eben nicht der Mensch, sondern dies ist offen, kann im Prozess immer wieder revidiert werden, auch Negarestani spricht von Feedbackloops, die dafür relevant sind, kybernetisches Vokabular findet sich wirklich überall in der Gegenwart.
Trotzdem ist Merschs Kritik epistemisch berechtigt und man sollte sich dessen klar sein, auch weil dieses Bild vom Menschen als "programmierbar" möglicherweise ganz fatal daneben geht, obwohl Inhumanismus kein Transhumanismus oder Antihumanismus sein will, sondern ein prozessualer Humanismus, könnte man vielleicht sagen.

Letztlich handelt es sich bei der Kybernetik ja auch um Modelle von X als System, aber:
>Modelle stehen für sich; ihre Gültigkeit bezieht sich nicht auf die Wirklichkeit, die sie zu beschreiben vorgeben, vielmehr bildet ihr immanentes Kriterium allein ihre Kohärenz und Konsistenz. Darin gleichen sie selbst schon mathematischen Begriffen. Wie die Existenz mathematischer Gegenstände einzig an Widerspruchsfreiheit gekoppelt ist, sind sie, weil sie möglich sind. Ihnen umgekehrt ein ontologisches oder epistemologisches Mandat zu verleihen, hieße, sie verfehlen.[...] Das heißt es in Modellen zu denken: Entscheidend ist, ob sie Resultate zeitigen, nicht, ob sie adäquat sind. [Hervorhebung original]

Naja, es gibt noch Sachen zur Information und dessen mathematischen Charakter und auf die Binarität bin ich auch nicht eingegangen. Ich bin auch kein Mathematiker, im Gegenteil, aber ich habe mich in letzter Zeit vermehrt mit Formalisierung beschäftigt.
No. 43022
155 kB, 1372 × 768
Ich kann das Buch nur empfehlen, es ist wirkrich fix gelesen und befasst sich mit der Technologie der Gegenwart auf eine Weise, wie sie mir so nicht untergekommen ist. Die mathematische Bedingugn der Gegenwart, wie Mersch Erich Hörl umdeutet, der wiederum nach einer Beschreibung der technologischen Bedingung gesucht hat.
Also es ist keine klassiche Medientheorie. Am Wochenende habe ich noch einen Text von Mersch gelesen: Wozu Medienphilosophie? Den gibt es als pdf kostenlos, wenn man googlet. Dort wird einserseits eine "Definition" (des gerade nicht definierbaren) von Medien, Medium und Medialität vorgenommen und dies dann von Medientheorie abgegrenzt. Medialität stattdessen berührt die Philosophie sehr, ist sozusagen Mitten in bzw. vor ihr und ein philosophisches Problem und nicht (allein) ein technisches. Sehr interessant über diesesn "Raum" des Medialen, dem "Zwischen", nachzudenken.
No. 43024 Kontra
It just came to my mind that there is a difference between cybernetics I (mostly engineering) and second order cybernetics that deals with recursivity and the later is of interest to Mersch, because of the formalization of thinking, where self reflexivity becomes recursivity in cybernetics.
No. 43028
vielen dank für die ausführliche antwort, ernst. medien und kommunikationswissenschaft finde ich nicht wirklich soooo interessant, doch aufgrund deiner empfehlung und der hier pfostierten auszüge über die beziehung zwischen mathe und ontologie werde ich mir das buch mal ausleihen. über das thema ist bisher allgemein noch nicht sehr viel geschrieben worden. mersch scheint ein interessanter zeitgenosse zu sein.
No. 43029
This is so, so interesting. Just recently I learned about "Law of Form" from G Spencer Brown. I love how Informatics, Mathematics and Philosophy are so closely related :3
No. 43030
Luhmann is built up on that, one lecturer who visited is seminars told us, that Luhmann basically took the first few pages only. Afaik it's a decisional logic, which is the binary that Mersch critics.
>Digitalität beschreibt den elementaren Entscheidungsmodus zwischen 0 und 1, Information die 'Mächtigkeit' der Menge von Wahlentscheidungen. Desgleichen hängen Entscheidungslogik, Algorithmus, Rekursivität und die Turingmaschine miteinander zusammen - denn für die Lösung eines Problems existiert genau dann ein Rechenverfahren, wenn das Problem durch endlich viele Entscheidungsschritte beschrieben und gelöst werden kann.

It's also interesting, I have a book here about Cold War rationality, about the figure of the "problem-solver" (engineers e.g), where for example rules play a role in the vocabulary, which points to analytic philosophy and logic again, which is not fair away from maths

>Kybernetik - darauf laufen unsere Überlegungen hinaus - ist in erster Linie eine Reglungsdisziplin, deren Grundlage die Mathematik der Rekursion und deren Modell die Kanalisierung der Kommunikationsflüsse bildet, um von dort aus als Zentralmacht gesellschaftliche Prozesse sowohl auf Pädagogik, Ökonomie, Politik, Kunst und Tehologie übergreifen.

The scary thing really is the totality that governs and sets itself via mathematics. The subversive within these systems still succumbs to the logic of systems and hence does not break out.

Otherwise, I listened to a podcast lately about phil. of mathematics, they have been intertwined since Plato
No. 43031
79 kB, 600 × 600
>medien und kommunikationswissenschaft

Mersch kritisiert diese, weil sie die Mathematik ausgeklammert haben. Dennoch gibt es wohl Bereiche innerhalb dieser Disziplinen, die von der Stellung der Mathematik unberührt sind. Ich hoffe es zumindest.
Die Medienphilosophie, die er verficht, ist eben eine, die nicht technologisch, sondern tatsächlich erzphilosophisch daherkommt.

>über das thema ist bisher allgemein noch nicht sehr viel geschrieben worden

Es gibt mittlerweile so viele Bücher über Kybernetik und Systemik in gesellschaftstheoretischer und historischer Hinsicht, dass du einige Monaten brauchen würdest ;) Seit den 1990er Jahren gibt es Veröffentlichungen, auf Wunsch kann ich eine Liste geben, in den Büchern findest du dann nochmals Verweise in Fußnoten. Kaum einer ist sich dieser Ausuferung des kyb. Paradigmas bewusst, es gibt eben gewisse akademische und linke Zirkel, die das aufgegriffen haben. Keiner spricht mehr von Kybernetik seit Mitte der 1970er Jahre, aber das Vokabular und die Mathematik als Präformator sind geblieben und werden weiterhin angewandt. Für mich, der ich wohl bald Medienwissenschaften studieren werde, bleibt die Frage, ob unsere technologische Bedingung wirklich nur eine mathematische ist, ob sie auf das Mathematische reduziert werden kann und ob Mersch nicht etwas "übersehen" hat. Es ist plausibel, aber einfach so annehmen für alle Zeit will ich das nicht, mal sehen, was Yuk Hui zu bieten hat, wenn ich den mal lesen, der hat CS studiert und geht auch über Heidegger, dessen Technikphilosophie recht bekannt ist, aber die auch meines Wissens nach sehr kulturkritisch verfasst ist.
No. 43034
299 kB, 1684 × 2560
Today I finished Yoshua Jaffa's Between Two Fires - Truth, Ambition, and Compromise in Putin’s Russia. A book by a western russiaboo liberal that is written as a series of chapter length journalistic type biographies.
The biographies are about varied Russians and their relationship to the present political alignment in Russia. These small biographies serve as a vessel for showing how the present system in Russia has evolved and how Russians in positions that come under the scope of the Kremlin's eyes live within this system.

The book opens with a chapter on Levada, from his work during the Soviet period and the article "The Wily Man" published in 2000. One of the most interesting ones was one about Elizaveta Glinka, known as "Dr. Liza". She became a Kremlin backed humanitarian aid worker in Donetsk in 2014. Notably she said "I've seen no Russian soldiers in Ukraine", which caused a lot of people who used to support her humanitarian efforts hate her. She died in a plane as she went to Syria to lead the humanitarian efforts carried out by Fair Aid. She seemed to be a genuinely good person who was willing to cooperate with being a face for Russia in Donetsk and working in dirty Kremlin politics, all just so she could help people.

It also has a chapter Perm-36, the gulag museum and its leadership, and how it came to be and what was its purpose and ultimately how it had its original leadership being assassinated in the media with accusations that they were whitewashing neonazi criminals in the infamous year of 2014.

It has all sorts of great stories on fairly separate subsections of Russian society, one about a priest that helps give insight into the Orthodox Church and how it works. There's one about a Chechen 90s war journalist who becomes a part of Kadyrov's circle. It's ultimately a book on the relationships between Russians and the at times random and nebulous restrictions imposed on them by the Kremlin. How different these relationships are and how they're similar, how different people with their own unique ambitions and own personal moral codes are willing to "collaborate" with the state and in some cases they aren't. How some thrive in proximity to the state e.g. Konstantin Ernst and others don't. It's like making a pact with a leviathan with a byzantine and arbitrary model of making decisions that can either crush you or rise you to the top, next to the finest of apparatchiki.

10/10 book
No. 43039
>es gibt eben gewisse akademische und linke Zirkel, die das aufgegriffen haben
Welche linken Zirkel meinst du damit? Klingt interessant.

t. anderer Ernst
No. 43042
That really was such a painfully sad crash. A part of me is still suspicious of CIA involvement even with me being pretty incredulous about the lack of proofstering or accusations.
No. 43054
It just means that leftists have thought about cybernetics more often than conservatives or liberals did aftre 1975. The whole issue of control for example, even in the 1980s people who discussed the spreading of computers took it up again, Big Brother etc. Today it has its on branch as research, cultural studies and history are interested in it as subject. Some leftist theory is going on about it.
Tiqqun and their Cybernetic Hypothesis would be an example, these guys were anarchist, lived on a farm outside of Paris I think. Not my cup of leftism but hey, it's an analysis. Deleuze' Societies of Control (Postscriptum über die Kontrollgesellschaften) is basically about the cybernetic gouvernementality and cybernetic subjects. Deleuze and Guattari also have traces of cybernetics in their early collaboration. The tone of Deleuze is notably different in this one, written 5 years before is death in 1990 and one of the last texts I think.
Anselm Franke and Diedrich Diederichsen published a museum catalog for an exhibition with many articles called The Whole Earth. California and the Disappearence of the Outside which deals with californian counterculture and its links to cybernetics, cyberntic knowledge was quite well spread in artists circles in the 1950s and 1960s. The New Age philosophy of the self as system, which might be called a common these days, was thought in those years and became prominent in the 1980s, was also took up by modernizers, creative subjects etc etc etc. Sorry, I can't give a coherent string of what I've read in the last months, but I can say that systemic knowledge really left its imprint on societies and continiues to do so. I mean the hype about digital technologies, the presence of computers and such we are far away from overcoming.

Here is a review article for history from 2019 that you can scihub, it reviews three books and says a bit about cybernetics as research article. Stadler is a historian but also studied Kognitive Informatik iirc. Makes me a bit said that I don't have any STEM background, anyway:
No. 43055
Coming to think about it in the GDR cybernetics being "ineffective" was made to be an argument for Honecker which he used to overthrow Ulbricht who was (in favor of further) funding them as part of a more futuristic vision.
No. 43056 Kontra
>Die auf die Kybernetik gesetzten großen Hoffnungen erfüllten sich nicht. Illusionen zerbrachen. Einige Kollegen hatten mit der Bionik große Projekte geplant, die revolutionierend für die Pharmaindustrie sein sollten. Es gab lange Diskussionen und viele Versprechungen, die dann nicht eingehalten wurden. Es wurde solide Arbeit geleistet, doch gab es auch Scharlatanerie und Großsprecherei. ... Eigentlich ging es bei der politisch-ideologischen Kritik an der Kybernetik m. E. nicht in erster Linie um die Wissenschaft, sondern die Kritiker Ulbrichts suchten nach einem Hebel, um ihn von der Macht zu entfernen, da boten sich die Missverhältnisse zwischen den großen Versprechungen und den geringen Resultaten geradezu für diejenigen an, die mit neuen Wissenschaften sowieso nicht viel zu tun haben wollten."
No. 43072
6 kB, 618 × 104
Oh joy.
No. 43073
Vey warm weather. If I have rain, it's dropping to like +5 +6
No. 43076
14 kB, 492 × 296
I got a call today and they offered me a job again at the place I did data entry for the past three summers.
Honestly pretty good. That means I'll have money. Plenty of it.

I have a weird case of nausea. The kind where you kinda want to throw up but also don't.

Sadly I won't be able to attend the makeshift graduation ceremony because of my exam. It makes me a bit sad.
Overall, I missed two end of the year ceremonies because of exams, including this one.

So I'm going in the next day to pick up my papers. One is my HS diploma and the other is my end of the year certificate.
Can't wait to be able to look at them.

Tell me about it. This has been going on for weeks.
No. 43077
Long time no see Ernst. The move was a nightmare but finally it's over, what is left is unpacking the knick knacks and rescuing the Amazon of a garden. We managed miraculously to not get infected, despite plenty of opportunities. Everything is tranquil, the future seems bright, but I have this fear another crisis is bound to happen. Like my body does not deal well with calm situations, being always on high alert.

We're expecting a heatwave this week, digging out the fans and shorts tomorrow, this will be a long summer.
No. 43086
Applied for more jobs. Job hunt giving me considerable anxiety again, was laid off in April as part of cost-cutting operations because of the Coronavirus. Keep trying to learn more software things, work on projects, and trying to do interview questions, but it doesn't seem like enough since I get ghosted by almost every place I've applied to.

On the other hand, the market looks amazing for those with more than 6 years of experience.
No. 43088
>ike my body does not deal well with calm situations, being always on high alert.
I know this feel, except I am normally able to remain quite placid in a national crisis provided I am not forced to be surrounded by actual idiots. Like if I'm in the middle of a fucking hurricane I want the people around me to recognize the problem and make with the dealings. Instead what I am normally subjected to is complete assholes who let the problem fester, then all clog the highway at once at the last available minute, usually the same people you directly and repeatedly warned of the problem who said you're being alarmist.

Otherwise I am in a constant state of crisis that usually only the strongest prescription medications have toned down to normal. It must feel pretty nice and carefree to be calm normalfags. As for moving oh God I know that feel too. Thankfully I was able to time my latest move right before the crisis hit so I could settle in, unbox a few things and stock up before everyone realized there was a problem.
No. 43115
Well my dehumidifier arrived at least. I am currently battling the ants. I have lost my empathy like a jaded New Vegas courier. I'm pretty sure at this point I keep getting bitten by them and they're fucking everywhere, so I going to take the loathsome action of buying any traps. I have killed or picked away like two dozen of them so far and I'm increasingly convinced they're coming up through the ground into my place somehow.
No. 43139
369 kB, 1224 × 1224
I discovered this trick yesterday. By setting my earbuds in a plastic egg(left over from Easter), the sound is amplified enough that I don't have to buy an external speaker.
t.Practical consumer Thrifty Cheapskate
No. 43147
67 kB, 634 × 941
I've about had it with people at this point. The biggest price to pay for being in bydlo neighborhoods with bydlo people is, you guessed it, having to deal with morons. On top of that it's all bitchy white people and I can already tell I'm at the point of having to draw a line in the sand. The guy who owns all the housing units has his son doing yard shit so this is one of the main people beginning to aggravate me. From the read I got on his character I can tell he's the kind of faggot who grew up with money and is possibly butthurt he has to work and likely to be a complete ass to me with that "muh daddy will hear about this attitude." Why the fuck cant I just have peace and quiet? This only cements my attitude that I should've listened to my instincts to begin with dealing with other Americans which is to not budge an inch and the moment someone violates the NAP to immediately escalate to full blast in whatever way I can until they fuck off and realize it's not worth the bother. Because I did not begin an entire agenda of massive retaliation and petty passive aggressiveness coupled with being a complete asshole stopping just short of blatantly law breaking or contract violating I am convinced this has only emboldened those around me and made them think they smell weakness.

I must now consider all options for how I can make the lives of those aggressing against me a living hell until they decide to ignore me instead. I took this approach in high school and quite frankly while it was full of suffering by the end it did work and I was ceased to he harassed entirely my final year. But then again one of the few incidents that also sticks out is where they were about to follow this gay kid into the bathroom for beatenings in retrospect that particular individual actually DID probably deserve a beating or two and I just made eye contact with the two kids like "dont try it." They wandered off but I'm pretty sure as a full grown adult not a college student or high school student I can't get away with that kind of stuff, plus they were like a year under me. I really was going to follow them in there and beat the living shit out of both of them too or at least try to even if at least one was plausibly stronger.

Such is life on the America. I think that there's something wrong with this country and the more I look at the coronavirus statistics the more I consider that the same things wrong with America are also what's wrong with Brazil and Russia. I wish I didn't live here.

Meanwhile at the mart I overheard some guy talking about Socialism and claiming America was going Socialist and how when this country collapses the whole world is going to turn into a starving Socialist shithole. I did realize though there might be a bit more truth to it albeit for totally the wrong reasons, namely that this country has so much food output that when the place turns into Syria it's probably going to cause a massive dip in world food production for a little while, global warming food crises aside.

Like I sometimes wish someone on /int/ could shadow me for a few days just taking notes in a journal. I'd imagine it'd make for a pretty good read, some real DeTocqueville type of shit only a hell of a lot dumber and trashier. I'd sure they'd also be capable of finding a lot of charm in certain things where I do not. It is after all very charming to visit the apes when you don't have to live in a cage with them.

The sole thing keeping me from being angrier is I have yet to have anyone trying to breach my front door itself to bother me and I still have managed to be on UI gibes. Were I not I'd probably be actively rooting and speaking of which with the way these riot cops are behaving I really don't give a shit at this point if things kick off into high calibre rifles and molotovs because those fuckers absolutely deserve it.
No. 43153
1,9 MB, 4032 × 1960
It's strange, but I feel this great inner peace and enjoyment at being alive. It has been building up for the past few days and it peaked today at around the time I took this picture.
Completely butchered a test I took on Russian, as I forgot there was difference in cases for conjugating куда and где. Reading Taubman's Khrushchev and it's great so far. Khrushchev was interesting character.
No. 43163
Varg, ist it you?
No. 43171
Almost done with the exam. I have to wait 40 minutes because they couldn't keep up with the schedule of the Sprachen part of the exam.

The written part wasn't exactly hard. It's just that I keep expecting exams to ask me impossible things.
I guess you can still sorta know German without understanding a line of Goethe.

I'm kinda sad that I couldn't attend the graduation ceremony. Apparently I got clapped for when they called my name.
Though the fact that my name got called means that I won one of the nerd-prises. I wonder what could it be?

I'm also going to take a book back to the library tomorrow. My mother asked me why am I taking it back if I had a feud with the librarian and I told her that I'm taking it back because "I'm enough of a man to do such a thing with dignity".
I can feel my ego inflating in real time.
No. 43179
What he specificly describes about him?
No. 43200
2,9 MB, 2568 × 3833
I picked up my HS diploma today.
Received a bunch of certificates with it, like one that congratulates me for my "Exemplary work in year 12", and another one that states "Appraisal, bestowed upon Ernstovich Ernst for his outstanding performance on the Literature Maturation Exam of 2020."
Pretty good. Even received book as a gift for doing well. It's a volume of writings by the Hungarian-American historian John Lukacs.

On the way home we went to the bank and opened an account in my name.
Jesus Christ the amount of bullshit bureaucracy you need for this. Dunno what I'm going to use it for, but it won't cost me any money until I'm 24, so I guess I'll eventually figure it out.

Also went to the newsagent's. Picked up two journals that looked interesting. My picks were kinda bipolar, because one is a Catholic literary journal and the other is a socialist quarterly. Didn't even knew that such a thing existed here. Apparently they fund it through donations.

I'm a bit tired, but I've decided to make burgers. Today is going to be fun.
No. 43201
Man, yuros are weird with all this build quality shit. I don't think I even got a certificate to say I graduated high school. Just a glorified excel chart that showed what my exam results were from the government. Man, even my university degree came in a cheap manila folder, though that probably has something to do with the fact that I just got it posted to me so I didn't have to sit through some bullshit ceremony.
No. 43202
Speaking for Germany I guess: I got cover sheet with the cities logo and a line underneath saying allgemeine Hochschulszugangsberechtigung general university entrance qualification then a few pages with tables with my credits in subjects, final grade. Nothing fancy besides a logo that makes it more official.
No. 43203
>My picks were kinda bipolar, because one is a Catholic literary journal and the other is a socialist quarterly.
Why not combine the two? It probably wouldnt even be hard if you used the Gospels. Oh wait is this still a project?
No. 43204
255 kB, 594 × 445
It's just a fancy cover. The only thing it has on the inside is two pages that have details of the school and me and the exam results. (Alongside with the relevant passages from the Hungarian law code and whether or not I can use any of the exams as a valid language certificate.)

The end of the year marks are in a separate red booklet (pic related) that you have to hand in at the beginning of each year. You get it back at the end of the year. It's much less fancy.
(Though the paper is fancy in both of them.)
No. 43205 Kontra
No, it's for my own amusement. Both of them has articles that seemed interesting, despite the ideological clash.
I just found it amusing.
No. 43206
80 kB, 800 × 699
>Like I sometimes wish someone on /int/ could shadow me for a few days just taking notes in a journal.
In another day and age, following people who are in interesting situations would be my ideal career. Pic related :D.

I'm not familiar with schools gifting books to students at year end, so either we don't do that here, or they just didn't do it in my small circle.

My diploma came in the mail, too, because the University had to confirm final grades and such before handing them out(At least they put a "Do Not Bend" label on the envelope, and the mailman didn't destroy it). At the graduation ceromony we only recieved mock-ups of those diplomas, because they had to hand you something when you walked across the stage. I didn't want to go to that, tbh, but my mother really wanted to see me graduate, so I gave in and attended. At least I got a nice dinner out of the deal.
No. 43210 Kontra
It don't know if it's a tradition elsewhere. It's not a secret ordeal. Handing out rewards is part of the closing ceremonies and the winners are called out in front of the other students, so I guess if you haven't seen it, then it must not be a tradition overseas.
(I think it might be a leftover from Soviet-times. Sometimes I wish I could ask people what life was like before the Russians.)
No. 43217
I just spent a ridiculous sum of money (to me anyway) on tobacco stuff and Dolce and Gabbana thanks to gibes. Is this what feeling on the Europe is like?? It's kind of ridiculous to actually see it written out like that and yeah. It was like $180 mostly on tobacco and cologne as well as a pewter B-wing figurine I'd been eyeing since like October but hadn't the money to spare on glittering baubles and useless trinkets.
No. 43222
715 kB, 2736 × 1539
Went and flew around with my drone in the land that my grandfather hails from. I made some 4k footage but you can probably see me in some of it, maybe I'll make some drone footage of somewhere more interesting and post it here Because I can't convince anybody else to care :DD I saw my great grandfather's grave from the sky. The future is now :DD

I haven't finished it but the part I had read when I made that post was about Khrushchev's sense of who he was and what his role was. In some speech in his later years, he compares himself to Pinya the Jew from some Ukrainian book. It was the story of a sad little weak zhid who ends up in prison and his cellmates elect him as their leader because of how funny it would be. When they make a plan to escape prison, they realize the first man to escape through the tunnel they dug would be shot by the sentry. They try to excuse themselves from being first man out but Pinya volunteers given he was elected their leader and wanted to live up to his role.
Apparently before he died, Khrushchev said he knew he had done a lot of horrible things but that he hoped the good things he did would make up for them. I'm really liking the book, I'll probably post a more complete review once I'm done with it.
No. 43231
Which book was it?
No. 43235
1,8 MB, 1550 × 2418
William Taubman's Khrushchev - The Man And His Era.
No. 43273
I decided to burn a few bucks and so I ordered a dehumidifier machine. I have a cheap solution that uses some sort of powder that absorbs water from the air, but it's not really efficient, and buying more powder is cumbersome.
So I shelled out for a machine.
For some reason the room is really humid, and it wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have 600 books in it. The paper gets all curly and wavy because of the humidity, and I can't stand that.

Yesterday the weather was nice, so I spent the entire day outside reading from the journals I bought and the book I wanted to finish.
Turns out you can find interesting things in journals. There was this interesting recension about a monograph that collects how Homer's works were received and taught in Hungary from the 16th century until today, while also collecting every translation of Homer's epics to date.
The leftist journal I bought is quite interesting too, though it's so cutting edge and contemporary that some of the things hypothesised in it were proven wrong by the time I got to read it. (And sometimes I just flat out disagreed with what they had to say.) But none the less, it felt engaging.
Basically I'm having fun.

The only tasks for today are finding the fan in the basement and picking a new book to read. I've narrowed it down to just four.
I'll probably toss up a coin once or twice and read something entirely different in the end.
Strangely enough I managed to make a list of four books relating to four fields of interest, one Chinese, one Japanese, one Russian and one Greek. What a world.

The weather turned really ugly, so I can't really go outside. Honestly, I'm kinda bored with the internet.
No. 43281
49 kB, 628 × 420
People really create their own misery. I can't entirely understand why but it seems some people want to live in an existential drama in which every waking up moment of their lives is full of pain and sorrow. They seek to inflict pain and suffering on others, possibly so that suffering and pain is inflicted on them? I am merely speculating as I am possibly too autistic to understand the most sublime of human social emotions.

I can't really make sense of it, it's a nice Sunday outside and if there are no dilemmas to face or problems to resolve - why would some people create drama? Some people seem to live for it though. Could it be that they do not see their lives as finite? Why waste precious time that could otherwise be used to at least appreciate being alive?

These might seem like the ramblings of an idiot, but I can't shake these thoughts.
No. 43286
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Started reading Simondons On the Mode of Existence of Technical Objects. After reading Mersch Simondon seems only to back his argument so far, systemic thinking that seem to overlook something. Still fascinating.
The abstract technical object is the crafted one, where every element is a structure on its own, having its own function. With use limits become obvious. Besides economic reasons for technical becoming there is the technical stability that is thought after, its frictionless functioning. This happens via integration of elements, elements fulfill more than one function, "merge" and support each other in the aim of lesser friction.
Interestingly he says the modern car (1958 but tbh it's worse today I guess) is an abstract technical objects since for instance relying on a battery instead of a crank to start the car is closer to the abstract technical object with its isolated elements. More prone to break down when one element does not work. That dude was more or less an engineer, knows his mathematics and he taught psychology, wtf. He in detail analyses technical objects which makes me feel like I need to be an engineer to understand it. Well, the general point of merging/integration become clear to me.
No. 43290
I think the biggest issue with these efficient, integrated systems is that eventually it'll take away autonomy from the operator because of their complexity.

I can fix a stapler or a simpler machine like a mixer (but people some argued in both cases when it actually happened, that it's just not worth the hassle), but fixing a smartphone or any other high-tech device is reserved for experts, or even in some cases for a special class of experts that work for a brand exclusively.
Essentially you're entirely dependent on life support from a company that's not really interested in the longevity of your items.
No. 43292
Hm, I will see what Simondon will write about the human-machine releationship.

Otherwise, the operators autonomy might be something different from the object in itself, which is focused here. Surely a mixer might have few components, but you cannot go on the internet, phone people or send text messages with it etc. So the use has its limit and that is where becoming of a technical object makes a jump, becomes something else, more concrete. It was not well written out, but he said there exist not many technical objects, but many different machines and even more different, close to infinite, uses
I had the same thought concerning the complexity and how it might be vulnerable for instance. But an airplane might be complex, yet how often does an airplane flight end in catastrophe? They are pretty stable while being complex, highly integrated objects I guess. Simondon calls the avaitor industry and the military technology areas with high interest in concrete technical objects, objects that really need to function frictionless. Whereas cars and other objects are victims of consumer preferences, aesthetics etc. and thus closer to abstract technical objects.
Simondon might be strict here, generally this book is nothing I've come across earlier. It's not your average critique of technology but a sopisticated affirmation in a sense that tries to rearranging the human-machine relationship. At least so far I can say. I really need to read futher to see how he works it all out. But he states in th beginning that his book is written to create a new Bewusstsein, a new consciousness for technology and the technical object, something that is apart condemnation of technology and which he compares to the "primitive fear a person has when encountering the other" (a stranger) and that alos neither treats the technical object as a "sacred object" which will fix all problems.

I went through the introduction of Edward Saids Orientalism (1978), a classic of post colonial studies. I won't read it but I wanted to have a glance, I just stumbled upon it in the library. Seems fundemental read for uncritical Yuropoors that treat their and the general knowledge about Europe and what is outside of Europe as given and neutral knowledge accumulated over the past 300 years. It has been nothing new to me since I study humanities, but it really struck me that "postmodernist" philsophy had a big impact on a critical epistemology, mainly Foucault: How is that we know what we know, twisted poltically and traced historically. People get so upset about it but they don't even know what this is all about. They don't even get to far into epistemology. On the other hand it really makes certain knowledge unstable. Which causes problems for many people: uncertainty as big personal enemy. Lose orientation. Ambivalent at least. Well, better getting cognitively challenged than being stuck mentally though.
No. 43293
I'm going back to scheduling my days using alarms on my phone. I find it makes me more productive, if nothing else because it gives a signal that I have to do something which helps when you are someone who does everything last minute.

The problem is that I seem to have an in-built limit to doing real work. Not that I can't do it when a gun is to my head but I'll quickly go into slacker mode if I feel I've done enough. Probably for the best considering I'd break myself if given the chance.

>though that probably has something to do with the fact that I just got it posted to me so I didn't have to sit through some bullshit ceremony.

Same. I must admit the thought of attending such a ceremony filled me with horror, all those people watching me and paying compliments. And then there's the stilted conversations.

I think it has various answers based on the situation. You see couples who seem to argue just because they're bored and then there's people who commit wrongs just for the thrill if they know they can get away with it.

In a modern context I think data is an interesting to look at. On it's own I think people prefer the optimisation algorithms offered by services like Amazon and Spotify, that's where consent is typically given. When data is combined across platforms though is when a monster is created that legitimately threatens your privacy.

Fortunately I've come to find that even obvious data integration, where only a real public good can be provided, doesn't work. This is because common standards rarely exist and there's a real interest in data collector/managers etc. in protecting the value of their IP. It's like a societal limit on just how far down that road you can go.
No. 43294
I learned something interesting today
> However, Europeans considered both races inferior and made efforts to make both Native Americans and Africans enemies.[13] Because of European fears of a unified revolt of Native Americans and African Americans, the colonists encouraged hostility between the ethnic groups: "Whites sought to convince Native Americans that African Americans worked against their best interests."[14] In 1751, South Carolina law stated:

> "The carrying of Negroes among the Indians has all along been thought detrimental, as an intimacy ought to be avoided."[15]

>In addition, in 1758 the governor of South Carolina James Glen wrote:

> it has always been the policy of this government to create an aversion in them Indians to Negroes.[16]
Man they've been pulling this kind of crap for centuries. It's shit like this that's why I unilaterally oppose identity politics, thought the esjays were faggots, and think the reactionary esjays are equally faggots playing into their game. I genuinely believe that the FBI among others is pulling that on us all to this very day to prevent a mass revolt from different ethnic, religious, and other interest groups banding together against the elites in this country.
No. 43303
>However, Europeans considered both races inferior
There's a ranking of human "races" by Kant where he places native Americans as the most inferior "race" and above it blacks. It's not really a coincidence that native Americans and black Africans are ranked as the lowest, since they've suffered enormously under white Europeans/Americans, which obviously contradicted the then new idea of universal human rights and led to the construction of racism as we know it as a justification. Sad we still have to deal with this shit nowadays.
No. 43307
What's the deal with the German relationship with machines and the concept of control and loss of autonomy? This is a much deeper cultural narrative and component of the entire German psyche and I'm wondering why.
No. 43310
66 kB, 576 × 768
I'm always so jealous.

My life is cozy and nice and I have everything I had ever wanted, and yet, I am jealous at other people's social media.

Of course I'm precisely aware that social media by itself is engineered to do that, but still I can not fight it. (Or maybe I lack the willpower.)

There's someone I once knew who managed to become a person of public interest. And I'm so jealous that my own thoughts, that I post places, no matter how much effort I put into them, will never. NEVER. reach people caring for them, while others succeed with literally posting "I'm going to the gym again :DDD it rains :DD" and receive outpours of compassion and sympathy.

I don't even want to put in the effort to maintain friends because I do not understand how it works and I just do not share the interests and values of other people. But still, it hurts.

(Also whenever I actually put the effort in to maintain friendships, I actually got actively singled out and shunned, or turned into the butt of jokes.)

I even undestood that, if I contact nobody and instead fully embrace my eccentricism, people actively approach me to say things. But lo and behold: I am not my eccentric persona, and the second I tell them something about my life that I wish someone would relate to, I see their sympathy matter drop. If anything, people like me because they find it interesting how weird I am.

How often have I already accepted the fact that I just have to trash every single emotion of mine that remotely points to "Do stuff together with others"? And I always forget. I always thing "Now I can share X" and then I'm mercilessly reminded that NO ONE GIVES A FUCK.

Every single time I see one of those teenage girl motivation text picture posts, saying something along the lines of "Reach out. People care. You are not a burden.", I want to smash my screen because they literally have no idea, they are talking to people butterflying between their 20 friends and falling into depression, clouding their judgement, but then rationally remember they still have those friends, and then assuming that applies to everyone.

I want to pick up writing, music, drawing. But I have to hammer it in my head that I do that for me, and me alone, and no one will ever see it, because otherwise I'll get hit in the head with the hammer of "So, why do you think anyone would care about it?" - all while others may post their "look I picked up a pencil for the first time in my life and drew this shit" get showered with praise and encouragement.

This fucking world is so filled with lies and deceit. They don't even know that they're doing it. They geniunely think they find it important that people pick up a pencil and start drawing. I mean, IT IS, but they actually do not find this fact important, but rather the fact that ~their friend~ does something and it is important for them to chime into the laudatio of the 100 other friends, because that will cause good feelings to the drawing friends. If it were a hobo on the street who did exactly the same drawing, they would probably make fun of him. But no one acknowledges that fact. Everyone really, truly, believes they are talking about the things rather than the people themselves - but god forbid you approach anyone actually trying to talk about a thing they JUST have been talking about. Then you're suddenly one of the weird people who want to talk about weird stuff. And of course, of fucking COURSE, they would absolutely LOATHE to be made aware of the fact they do not really care about the thing, but that all is societal ritual.

So what do I do? I post on reddit. Because reddit put the american extremification of "I actually care jackshit about anything meaningful, but I will mirror and pretend and celebrate by protocol!" up top 100 and will respond to everything you say exactly how they assume you want to react. It's vain and it's vapid. It's only a step above prostitution, because you don't pay these people with money, but rather with the same social acceptance they give you, when you read their comment and maybe reply to it. I know it's like HF Corn Syrup, just pretenting to be some sort of nutrition, but hey, at least I won't starve.

I once read that NTs experience "mixed emotions". Maybe this is the thing. Of course I am able to connect emotionally. But I don't understand why people would not want to just choose one, objectively nice, emotion and stay in it together. No, they have to make up a web of 4-5 emotions and fluctuate through it wildly. Apparently that's "fun". But yeah, don't you dare break the boundary of one of those implicitely chosen emotions, otherwise you'll crash the whole thing and have the NT "weirded out". Yeah, how dare I be so damaged and defective to enjoy a nice and clear emotion for what it is? How boring.

I want to scream at them, "Words are literally created in order to transmit rational considerations!", but no, hurhurhur, emotions go blablabla.
No. 43311
Not sure if data and algorithms are specifically technical objects in a simondonian sense. I will read a bit today again. In 1958 all that was quite far away, yet he might be lucid in a more abtract way. Keep in mind that data and algorithms are more digital objects than technical, the computer might be a technical object that suits certain uses like big data/data collection and recommendation of products/consuming cultural products like music (Spotify) or serials (netflix)

Simondon is a frenchman, control is cybernetic vocabulary took of heavily the US after WW2. But Germans are still associated being the nation of engineers. Maschinenbau :DD And ofc around 1900 the Germans had the most advanced electro-chemical industry I think.


Quite long, but I can tell you nobody cared about my music when posted on facebook, I have less than 150 "friends" their though. While it got clicks (one track has 30.000 these days) and comments on soundcloud.
If you hang around people posting motivtional stuff all the time, you probably hang around with people that don't "suit" you.
I know what you mean by being jelly people getting showered with on social media. But in RL these people are not so fantastic, you get hyped on that stuff wqy too much. I mean surely these people usually have more friends and all that but that does not make them free of being shitty persons or whatever. These people loose friends as well.
The world is not only full of lies, it's just that people are not consistent (me and you neither I guess), you can post a motivational quote but forget about it simply. It's a moment, not a life.
No. 43317
Thanks for reading my shit. I agree, the problem is people I know, but it will be hard to acquire new, better suited, friends. Probably should make peace with the fact that it'll never happen. The only problem is that I'm too much of an addict to just stop the social network shite.
No. 43319 Kontra
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I will change the city soon I guess and will have a similar problem. Will look for reading circles or so, there I will hopefully meet some like minded people I can get along with. I mean you can't be friends with everybody. I've met quite an amount of people during my lifetime, thanks to partying and drugs, some more often which make them more familiar, but I hesitate not without reason to call these people friends. I have a handful of them some of which I see very rarely but who I can get along with when we met. The rest are acquaintances or even less than that, some of them former friends. I'm far from being social, I think. But certain people incite my sympathy as I do in them it seems. I have Galgenhumor, maybe that is my charm, people sometimes don't get it as such though. There is nothing wrong with social masks, everybody uses them. But which one to use and when to let it slip is consideration not calculation, which means it is not only a rational thing to be a human bean. I have friends but I often feel alone, I barricade myself away from social interaction. A handful of friends and a wife/gf/friends with benefits would do it for me. It's a basis for moving in the social sphere, having many friends does not work, you know people, but keep distances, that can break down, can be built up etc etc. It's a dynamic mess and hard to come by with a few jugdements.
Anyways, good luck. Try not to be too negative about other people, they smell it and will close themselves. That is the spiral of the imagebaord dweller. On the other hand, it's not a receipe to be succesful in being social, again: it's a mess and hard pin down what is actually the problem.
I wonder if the people you hang aroun with are judgemental. I have seen so many weird stuff and had weird talks, the abyss of humans and their psych is known to me, I will not accept everything that is poured out, but I don't block that stuff of, it can be interesting as well. But I also think there exist people who block all that stuff when it is possible, I mean everybody blocks things at whatever moment, but there is a tendency, people who laugh about everybody who is different
>Look at her, what is she wearing
>what an ugly face, fat bitch

These people become jokes once they are confronted with abnomalties that are within all of us in their variations. It's not that I don't think to myself "that or this person is ugly", but I know that it is messured on personal preferance which in turn is shaped by societal beaty standarts, I know where my preferances come from and that it is problematic to a certain extent. In the end, I don't need to talk about that with anybody, it's stupid to openly say soemthing like that.

Everybody has personal limits, when it comes to abnomalties, I wouldn't want to listen to a pedo or befriend him because I think it is just wrong. My tolerance is not endless. Less my sympathy, but I'm not quick to judge.

I know a guy from work, who will become a lawyer, we are somehow politically different, but again, a talk with him is refreshing in a sense. Are we friends? I don't know. But I met him just to have a meal and then go back to the library and that is fine. I don't talk to him about my deepest fears but we can discuss problems or things going on, including human behaviors.

I could go on talk endlessly about it because I find it hard to pin down social relationships in that regard. I'm also fucked when it comes to this, since my drug psychosis has its root in social relationships and contemplating about them.
No. 43322 Kontra
>since my drug psychosis has its root in social relationships and contemplating about them.

That's interesting. Isn't it supposed to be the other way round?
I only sound that negative when I'm frustrationposting on the internet, or maybe in my thoughts when I'm at home alone, wondering wtf I did wrong. My masks are flawless. But I was told people notice they are masks. And of course they have masks themselves.

>There is nothing wrong with social masks, everybody uses them. But which one to use and when to let it slip is consideration not calculation, which means it is not only a rational thing to be a human bean.

See, that I don't understand. For me, every type of interaction involves massive calculation. I try to learn all the time and I actually make improvements. Right now, I seem to have arrived at a similar point as you, that for most people, it just doesn't matter. They are nice and ok, yeah. You quickly get what they're up to, and what they like. And they make it clear that they're not interested in friendship with our kind. Well, ok. My small talk skills are high enough that I can make normal interactions sort of pleasant.

Maybe I should really get a step further in the not-giving-a-fuck. My actions right now are capable of forcing people to act nice and friendly towards be by sheer courtsey, but I imagine this is (again...) a reason for them to dislike me. Maybe I should just stop doing that. Not outright attacking people, of course, and also keeping my manners, but also embracing my inner modus operandi a bit more. I think the Galgenhumor direction is pretty common in imageboards dweller, for me it would probably be "scharfe Klinge", but I'm tired of fighting. In reality I just want to be left alone. But can't one be left alone together? ... Is this the purpose of, say, board games or vidya, that there is no need for interaction, but rather a common experience of a thing that doesn't need any external relationship validation other than communicating about said thing?

I recently saw my neighbor, an old lady, as turbonormie as it gets, with her daughter (also an old lady already), and they were sitting in the sun, playing cards. She visits her mother and all they do in order to be together is playing. Sometimes they also just sit next to each other, one knits, the other reads a magazine. It looked so cozy to me.

What drug did you take that fucked you up so badly? Recently I took a liking to Salvia (as I posted in the other thread), because it's full, unadulterated "It's over now - I hope you have your things all sorted out. Oh - appears you don't. Here's what's still wrong." Turns out one of the main things that is holding me back is actually physical fitness. No wonder people panicking about stuff are always told "Breathe." Because once you start to consciously metabolize, you also slowly see what else you should be doing. And we forget, and everything becomes terrible because we turn inside our own shell.

Why is all of this so exhausting?
No. 43323
57 kB, 340 × 353
Yesterday I went to a bar in the middle of nowhere and there was an Ukrainian there. I wanted to see how far my slav studies have taken me so I began talking to him and he seemed to be particularly happy at me doing so given he didn't speak Portuguese Despite living here for two yearsfugging immigraniada :DD I was shocked at how much I could understand what he said, even if we had some trouble communicating. I ended up getting extremely drunk, too drunk given how bad I felt this morning. I guess in a way it was me celebrating being able to hold a basic conversation with him, he was a cool guy too.
No. 43324 Kontra
>That's interesting. Isn't it supposed to be the other way round?

Nah, I think the psychosis has to come from somewhere and it comes from the inside, even though the outside is not without fault ofc.

>But I was told people notice they are masks. And of course they have masks themselves.

Yeah masks might be more noticable or not. With friends you can let slip a mask. Not at every moment I guess and not all the time. Also making masks a topic is uncormfortable as fuck in most interactions. Meta-thinking about something while doing it more or less.
I mean masks can be notice they can be forget about and I guess that is where one is going, it's a thin line. A mess since it is so thin and not normed. An interaction might seen as particular even though there are some "rules" and patterns to it.

>embracing my inner modus operandi a bit more.

I guess. Galgenhumor is rather vague in the end, I think imagebaord dwellers are cynical but really spill their hatred often enough. I have the feeling that it oftentimes is outright hatred.
>Für alle die sich un ihre Fehler hassen, kokettier' mit ihnen solange sie sich nicht beheben lassen

That is a german rappers definition of Galgenhumor. To coquet with yourself is what these people cannot do IRL I imagine. I mean it really is the verb here that makes the difference. How you make dealings, not by signaling everybody you hate yourself and others but by taking in humor and thus eleminating the hate and make it into a joke. Some sort of sovereingnity. I laugh about being depressed,
>"look i'm actually depressed but humorously reflect about it while talking to you" I can sit at home and get fucked by the void another time
I guess that can be called embracement or being eccentric in a sense. It shows that you are vulnerable like every human but it also is a mask simultaniously. I don't even know how to pull it exactly, but I know that it works and some women like it even. It's "deep" or something and yeah that is what I'm interested in, not being "deep" but thinking about shit for a while and coming up with a nuanced view in order to understand and explain to me what is going one in all areas of being and not-being, never ending until I fade as bean. And having a life next to it.

>But can't one be left alone together? ... Is this the purpose of, say, board games or vidya, that there is no need for interaction, but rather a common experience of a thing that doesn't need any external relationship validation other than communicating about said thing?

Not sure if I understand it. But I guess for me that is it. Having an experience and doing something, without having a goal in mind, what you call validation. Perhaps the validation is in the background.
...Just spending time with people, I don't need sophisticaded conversations all the time, a simple how was your day from gf, whats is going on with you friend x? what mundane things have you done the last weeks?
What is it, that draws me to people?

>What drug did you take that fucked you up so badly?

Speed and weed and alcohol (sometimes mdma) combined with no sleep, 24-nearly 72h. Just not what I can take. The lack of sleep is the most important factor btw. It's not an accident that people at Guantanamo or something have been kept awake. Salvia was weird but not 3rd eye tier. Psychedlics thought made clear to me that reality is quite a fragile thing. The psychosis taught me this as well. In the end and to this day I don't know what was real and what was imagined and perceived and wrongly intepreted in the delirium. You hit a barrier there, you can hit it with philosophy as well but the circumstances are quite different and the affects might be different as well, quite likely very different.

>Why is all of this so exhausting?

You know what is funny, excessive thinking does not take up much more or not even more energy than idle brain state. At least that is what I read, when I always got hungry in the library and thought it comes from mental labour, but google said you don't take up more energy.
But mental labour or thinking depletes you without draining your phyiscal energy resources.
No. 43326
41 kB, 513 × 604
>Personal laptop broke down just as my work day came to an end
>Boiler broke down just before I did the washing up before dinner
>Fan broke down at lunchtime
>Old laptop overheating

I reckon it's only the CMOS battery dying in my laptop at least. None of my screwdrivers fit so I'm just going to take it to a computer repair place before I hurt myself any further.

Still, it's nice to go through my old laptop. I changed laptop between the first and second date with a girl I saw for about 6 months last year so it brought a smile to see I'd made a note to book a table at my go-to restaurant of Cacciari's in Kensington. It's an Italian place that isn't too expensive and, for London, you get a decent amount of room which I find is important. Afterwards, you go for a walk in Kesington, stopping outside the butchers nearby that has a couch where you can romantically sit and smoke as the sun goes down. Maybe stop at a few bars to laugh at the "posh" idiots who live in shoe-boxes in Kesington for appearances. Proper nice day without breaking the bank and 100% success rate.

Shame I can't seem to find a porn folder. And I actually have work to do because I couldn't be bothered during the day.
No. 43329
40 kB, 600 × 400
I realized my laptop charger died moments after I read through this post. You have been cursed and I suggest you sort this out before all ernsts experience the death of their electronics. The part about going to dates in cities made me think that cosmopolitan settis do make things more romantic or are at more date-friendly environments than rural areas. Plus living in a place with a higher population density might help things, one of the reasons I've never joined any dating app is because I fear recognizing the entirety of the local userbase.
No. 43339
My sleep schedule is all sorts of fucked up because of the weird afternoon siestas and alarms waking me up.
Yesterday I read a few chapters from that Chinese history book and then I read a few Karinthy-shorts because I couldn't fall asleep.
Found one that might be good suitable for translation. In a few years I might have enough of these to self publish them on Amazon or something like that. Though I don't think that'd qualify as achieving my goal of publishing something by 2025.

I have a strange feeling of nausea. The air is heavy, my mouth tastes bad, and even looking at my bed gives me an urge to throw up.
But a coffee seems to have rectified at least some of the issues.
Really, I just want a bag of crisps for some reason. That, and I wish there was any beef left to make proper burgers.

Picked out the next novel I'd read. I've decided on a historical novel from the USSR titled Poor Avrosimov by the author and singer-songwriter Bulat Okudzhava. (I think it was released in English under the title A taste of freedom or something like that.)
It was one of the last books my history teacher handed me to read. The man has never given me a bad book, so I'm kind of interested.
(Also the whole build quality of the volume is very good, which makes it all the more enticing 2bh.)

Apparently I have 6 more days until I get the exam results. Can hardly wait. If I didn't fuck it up, that means the state would give me back the money that was paid to take the exam.
I kinda want that.
No. 43351
59 kB, 500 × 375
>You have been cursed and I suggest you sort this out before all ernsts experience the death of their electronics.

It's too late - my team at work all had trouble getting into their work laptops today. I didn't so I have to do even more work to pick up the slack. Also my headphone charger died. How do I remove an electrical curse?

>The part about going to dates in cities made me think that cosmopolitan settis do make things more romantic or are at more date-friendly environments than rural areas.

Like trampolining it has its ups and downs. You're right that it's much easier to meet someone but I miss countryside dating in autumn where can you comfortably sit in an old local pub watching the fire followed by country walk. And it altogether costing about £20.

I mean, sure, you can also hop on public transport and be somewhere with an entirely different culture within 5 minutes but as it turns out most place are shit. Camden is the worst night out in Britain imo and Shoreditch will make you a Nazi.
No. 43365
28 kB, 726 × 448
Looking back had me open up Hinge again.

>Convinced a girl I'm not some caddish fiend after only one thing using sweet-talk of how the right person to date is like an umbrella
>"The right person is someone you don't mind being caught in the rain with because they'll always be an umbrella for your smile - and looking stylish with them is a huge plus"

I'm funny and we were talking about the weather so that worked. As you can see, British mating rituals are what you would expect. Only, now I realise it's going to fucking piss it down tomorrow and for the rest of the week so I may have set the bar high on this as there's nothing to do but go for a walk together. And I'm procrastinating on a work pile that only grows larger - oh fuck this is going to be painful.
No. 43371
Today I want to "write" a postcard. The background being that, about two years ago, I wrote a really long and heartfelt letter to a then-friend of mine, about the situation they were in. Made it that way that even common courtsey would require an answer or at least acknowledgement.

Some MONTHS later, I got the news, via someone else, that they have received the letter and planned a response.

Then even more time passed.

After more than a year, I was asked again for my adress (that I had of course included on the envelope, as mailing etiquette demands).

Fast forward another few weeks, and I get a fucking POSTCARD.

Contents being along the lines of "Hey Ernst, wow, a lot of time has passed, here's your response. I understand that you cared a lot about what you are writing. Kind regards!"


I am not so salty that I perceive them as done and never reply again, because in the light of my autism diagnosis, I have to learn to not perceive as personal animosity even things that objectively look like it, but instead perceive anything as fleeting emotional fart and still dedicate myself to treating friends as friends.

But then again, I also don't want to pretend that didn'T happen (as this would also be assburger), so I want to send a cheeky reply.

I already got a cheap-ass shitty postcard, and I thought about just drawing a sunglasses pepe on the back, but I guess the message would be lost on them.

D'y'all have any ideas?
No. 43372
29 kB, 220 × 229
Indeed you’re fucking cursed mate because my PC just gave up the ghost.
No. 43374
>gave up the ghost.

Is this a thing in english or just an artifact of your german-studies?
No. 43376
118 kB, 610 × 410
>D'y'all have any ideas?
I would respond with something casual/light-hearted("Nice to hear from you, etc"). Whatever circumstances caused your friend to delay his reply, he did eventually reply and so obviously wishes to remain on good terms and keep the channel of communication open. You said you don't want to percieve any personal animosity in this act, and that's the right idea, imo. Basically, I would give him the benefit of the doubt, and move forward from here without worrying about this. Just know that your friend is slow to respond, and there is the potential for similar behavior in the future. This doesn't mean that he didn't appreciate your long letter; he may just be bad at sitting down to write a proper letter back.

>my PC just gave up the ghost
I hope it's not the newer one.
No. 43377
It's a thing in English too.
No. 43378
110 kB, 1200 × 900
Of course it’s the new one. Life just wouldn’t be fun otherwise.
No. 43380 Kontra
96 kB, 936 × 622
I started to read Aleksandr Dugin as evening lecture. What a strange figure and what weird twists he is doing in his political thoughts. Unique in a way, it confronts the reader with questions at times which are not asked that often. But then again sometimes, the argument is flat or rather vague (intential as he says, but not that it was never done before him tbh). Proposing not to lure while luring. One has to have historic, political, philsophical and anthropological knowledge, being well read or at least orientated of what was not read primary, basically, to not get sucked into his text and swallowed like a young thing by what he packs together from all corners of the intellectual universe. Never read Baudrillard? Well, he will tell you what he says, but ba-dam, that is where you got grabbed by your uncritical guts. It's not that he is not right about statements, but surely his interpretation is debatable and seems dwelling on a surface. It's an interesting read, I have to agree or laugh at times, then again he is very fast, very generalizing about certain things which makes it easier to attack. Last but not least it seems like a postmodern frankenstein from the right. Not sure if he really escapes the political compass we had so far. The mysticism and theology and his ontology (and political subject!) based on Heidegger make it very hazy and perfect to catch lost souls who finally want to believe again and thus getting elevated for a greater good.
Reading what I've read so far (three chapters) I buy into russian hackers attacking the West more than ever and Russia making ops to destabilize the west. I wanted to post :DDDD but it might me very true actually, since he is Pootins light bulb.
No. 43386
79 kB, 975 × 648
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My benevolent local authorities have at last performed significant road work in a main road that goes through a small old town. They fixed a very dangerous road that was in terrible condition. In doing so, they found the need to extend road work to areas that were relatively new while neglecting other terrible roads that need maintenance due to the city's strained budget. I think it was because that particular road had become a rallying symbol of local governmental neglect due to a few memorable deaths. Ironically, they didn't patch the road by the school where some jonne 'n his friend on a motorcycle ded'd after a car pulled out of the parking lot. I suppose I only still know this because for these past years the teenager's mother still places new bouquets of flowers where her kid had his head splät'd and his friend who was with him got banged up so hard he went into a coma - dying months later; Only one of the mothers maintains this need to place flowers on these hallowed grounds of the flowery macabre that have become what was known of the road in front of the school, a school that was witness to this event when evening classes ended in one fateful summer day. The school tragedies have certainly been improved since I last was there, as our most memorable event was some girl having a finger ripped off after trying to jump over the school gates to smoke a cigarette. Ah, the brave follies of yokel youth.

Returning to my main point, in undertaking the most recent road work - As they've splayed the new white lines over our beautiful brand new road, they've painted a white line through the entire curb of the road. If you look at the picture attached to this post, the dotted areas signal the ability to enter onto houses or businesses. The new road has no such dotted areas, technically leaving several houses and assorted gates locked out of the road. Anyone who enters his home or the local restaurant is technically committing a major infraction. I don't worry about ever anyone getting a fine since I doubt a local cop would even begin to sign a ticket over that, but it nags my mind that people now forced to commit illegalities on their day-to-day law abiding life. This nagging feeling once forced me to steal a do not entry road sign that was blocking the route onto what was meant to be a one way street, but with this one I feel hopeless and have resigned in defeat.
No. 43391
I have tried smoking CBD concentrate in a cigarette. I am not sure I'm okay with this. I got that sudden unpleasant heart rush that I associate with THC. I think I may have to just eat the stuff. Oh fuck I forgot to take my heart medication today that's probably also part of why.
No. 43411
44 kB, 499 × 371
PC ist kaputt gegangen. It doesn’t recognise the new internal HDD so it’s probably the motherboard or a cable.
So tomorrow I’m taking it to a repair shop.
Thank Dog I save my personal data on my external HDD.
I’m also making burgers tomorrow.
Wonder how much is this going to fucking cost. Hopefully not much.

I’ve read 4 chapters of the Odyssey. I picked the most obscure and unorthodox translation I have, but it’s immensely enjoyable.
I feel some sort of connection to Telemakhos for some reason. Maybe it’s just the fact that my father also travels a lot.
Also read some Japanese philosophy. I can safely say that based on the first two volumes of the manga, Neon Genesis Evangelion still holds up.

Dehumidifier is working nicely. The room feels cleaner and smells natural. Actually lit some vanilla scented candles. I associate true summer freedom with these small tealights.
Many nights were spent next to these candles, working on translations and poetry.
Ir’s the smell of the honest labour of love.
No. 43414
Just please don't burn your house down. I eventually abandoned scented candles and I am glad to have done so. I'll light incense and even that fills me with a grave paranoia. Tbh of the many lucky things in my life not having died in a housefire is a major one.

I have this horrifically eerie Final Destination feel about fires at this point. I had a scented candle explode a few times and one of those times it caught a box on fire in my bathroom. I sprayed it with a fire extinguisher and was only alerted because the smoke alarm went off. Had it gone on for another five minutes I'm not sure how well I'd have controlled it.

That's not the only time either. I have this really bad feeling I try to push out of my conscious mind like there is now a spirit of fire following me around hoping to catch up one of these days. Not just for that mind you but that was probably the single most dangerous time, second to when I caught the deck on fire by putting a cigarette out in a dead potted plant. Apparently potting soil can smolder and catch fire and that one was caught by a frantic neighbor. Just eerie things. Visiting my family once a whole house caught on fire down the road some years back. I didn't realize a small house could turn the sky black like that. I feel like I am being followed.
No. 43417
>Apparently potting soil can smolder and catch fire and that one was caught by a frantic neighbor.
It's true, the "dirt" you get on those things is a mix of wood bits and peat moss which can get smouldering at extremely high temperatures. People will sometimes smell a fire but not be able to see anything until it's too late and they have a smouldering pot of inferno in the garden.
No. 43429
Top-tier burger advice:
grill a pineapple ring and put it on the burger. Improves the experience by a factor of at least 2
t; burger
No. 43490
116 kB, 530 × 674
I just realized I read 5 books parallelly and it's making me quite dizzy, getting overwhelmed by knowledge and views of things going on, that had been going on and that should or will likely be (going on).
I'm again at this point where my mind gets crushed and it has physical consequences, getting stuffed, feeling fatigue bodily, feeding myself like a mass produced turkey before Thanksgiving and still I can't stop. The urge to come to an end that will never be, I can't just let go. Tf, guess having sex would cure me from this spiral and ease of the pressure. Maybe after all Freud was right with his thoughts on sublimation. Sexual latency makes intelligent men, eh, Ernst? xaxaxa
No. 43498
75 kB, 240 × 320
Somehow the camera on my phone was set the lowest possible resolution. The last ~50 pictures are all 320x240 :DDD.
c'est la vie.
Pic was taken on a nature trail taken last week. I nearly stepped on a snake that day, and took a photo of it to identify the species. No chance of that now, since it just looks like a tiny red/orange blur. It was probably a corn snake; I see a lot of those.
No. 43500
753 kB, 644 × 818
That feel when you end up posting in Whatsapp and social networks in the same style you used when visiting Krautchan.

You know what? People appreciate it. But hey, the YOBA platforms stink. I like much more simple interfaces like this one.
No. 43504
Dropped of the computer at the repair shop on Friday. The clerck was initially scared of my PC becauese it’s in an old case, but didn’t worry too much after seeing that it has USB 3 ports.
I hate not having a keyboard to type on. I’ll probably have to wait until the latter half of next week to get it back.

I think I’m experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Spent most of the day walking up and down the hallway.
It wouldn’t be so bad if the weather wasn’t absolute shite and I could sit outside.
The only creative endeavor I successfully undertook was writing a few diary entries and two haikus.

They published the exam results early. Turns out that I’m now a proud holder of a B2 level certificate of the German language.
Everything was above 70%, except for the schreiben part, because I can’t write a grammatically correct sentence worth shit.
Don’t know when I’m going to be able to pick up the certificate itself.

Woke up at 5 in the morning with the dog sleeping beside my feet. Honestly, it made me think something bad happened. But turns out nothing strange happened. Took me a while to figure out whether or not I was dreaming, hallucinating or being awake and conscious.

Making slow but steady progress with the Odyssey. Gonna accelerate once the sun starts shining. Fuck rain and fuck clouds.

Don’t worry, I’m very careful. It’s just small tea lights, not some metre-tall church candle.
They usually use up all the wax long before I go to bed.
No. 43517
945 kB, 3072 × 1620
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I watched Euro NCAP crash test compilations (last 4 decades) last night and I had to to think of what is said about Ballards novel Crash and the eroticism of the car crash. I mean I was fascinated as kid by car crashes and the deformation of cars, why is that so? Any other Ernst can relate? What triggers the affective or aesthetic pleasure behind it?
No. 43518 Kontra
Also I think it's funny, how it's close to ANCAP and has the same colors
No. 43521
I can confirm having the same settis as a kid. I would even go so far as to gently hit old shitty toy cars with a hammer to deform them and have them look dented. I'd also scrap paint on some of them with a knife. Reasons: Unclear
No. 43522
13 kB, 400 × 300
9 kB, 275 × 183
Sames. I had a Ford model like that and made lot of dents into it and colored it with gold metallic until it looked like some mutated weirdo freak car
No. 43527

I did the same. It was always a bummer for me that toy cars won't deform or I wasn't able to deform them like real cars I wasn't able to comprehend that toy cars are not physically constructed the same way as real ones. At least I could play Driver and before doing any missions I just drove through Miami and San Francisco crashing cars for hours.
No. 43531
What I do not understand is why young girls always seem to shave their barbie dolls' heads after stripping them naked and mutilating them. I could theorize this is feminine instinct or envy or something but idk I could just be reading into things.

Also this discussion is just giving me bad feels about all the nice things that I ruined over the years. Truly I belong in this purgatory.
No. 43534
Because cutting hair is a regular occurrence closely related to hair itself. Problem is just that Barbies obv. don't regrow them.

Also clothes are interesting, but did you ever try to deal with them? They're small and finicky and while getting them off is doable, the attempt to re-dress them might be beyond a child's attention span.
No. 43548
>Because cutting hair is a regular occurrence closely related to hair itself.
Yeah, as a child I cut the hair on one of my dolls once, but was so young I don't remember doing it- or why. I always figured that I must have been mimicking the haircuts I recieved. Kids don't really think things through, and the poor doll paid the price. He survived for years, but those bangs never came back :D.
No. 43549
118 kB, 750 × 651
I'm drinking way too much. On Thursday I went to buy beer for the weekend and got 6 packs of shit aldi beer, each pack is 6 euro and is equivalent to 5 cans of lager. So for 24 euro I drank
>Thursday night
>Friday night
>Saturday night
then Sunday came along and it was father's day so my kids got me 8 cans of beer and my favourite baked food because they know I like a drink and a late night snack, and they even drew me a card with a little hand drawn picture of me sitting at the computer. Kinda made me feel a bit shitty tbh, they know me as the dad who sits in front of the PC and drinks but then 2-3 times a week takes them somewhere cool for an hour.

Tbh that's probably better than how I remember my parents, drunks who sat in front of the TV in the 80s and didn't take me nowhere.
No. 43552
>work in Bay Area
>earn $720 per week
>have less than 6 hours free time each day due to hellish commute on public transit
>more likely to lose money each month rather than save anything due to cost of living and student loan payments

>move home with parents right before pandemic
>student loan payments frozen
>can't even look for work because both of them are at extremely high risk
>apply for unemployment
>receive over $800 per week, get to keep almost all of it

I am saving more money right now than at any point in my life, and all I do is sit at home and read, watch anime, or play video games. Is this what socialism feels like?
No. 43553
I once heard, that a doll is a little girl's stand-in for self and when one mutilates her doll it's a sign that she is being abused or otherwise has self-loathing. But I imagine that applies to severe mutilation of the doll, not minor stuff like losing tiny clothes or clumsy haircuts. Could be bullshit, but it sounds plausible.
No. 43556
>Could be bullshit, but it sounds plausible.

Sounds like some freudian shit. Being a sign means it represents. And Freud was obessed with representations: long objects are (always) dicks etc. So I like what Deleuze and Guattari said a bit dumbed down: No, it's not a representation but it's just the thing. >>43534 put it in this way. The girl cuts the hair off because mommy gets her hair cut as well, it's a phenomenon, playing real life or whatever. I don't see how that is less plausible then interpreting action as inner conflicts or whatever you wanna call it.
No. 43557 Kontra
Ok skip what I said, it's something different.
No. 43558
3,5 MB, 4208 × 3120
Today I went to the supermarket in the lunch break of wörk. Wanted to get a sandwich or such, but instead found a flank steak, 50% discounted, for 2,50€! Since we have a cooking niche in wörk, I brought it there.

Only to find out that there is no pan, except a tiny little one with 10cm diameter. Well, I cut up my steak and prepared it with the few utensils available. It seemed the cooking place isn't even intended to be used at all?

Anyway, even though I displayed heatenings over the fact I stood there cooking, I withdrew into my office with the steak and some nice toasted bread. It was a good decision after all.
No. 43561 Kontra
160 kB, 768 × 514
Well, as it turns out it wasn't the motherboard, but rather, the power supply.
Not only did the fucking power-supply die, but it also took out the brand new HDD with it.
Fuck this gay Earth.

So now I gotta invoke the warranty for the HDD and shit before they can fix it so the repair shop doesn't rip me off even more.
I'm so fucking furious it's like I'm in the climactic scene of der Untergang.
Had a shot of pálinka but I'm still fucking mad.

80 years ago people maybe had a radio at home and a tractor at the local kolkhoz. And they lived. They might even have had fun. Why must we deal with technology?

Besides this travesty, it was an okay day. Had lunch and then we held a quasi-tea ceremony to celebrate my achievements in education and my father's achievements with his business.
We used expensive tea he brought back from his business trip to Ceylon. It was really good.
No. 43565
14 kB, 300 × 330
It is one of the few and far between days in my life where I could have had a proper night's sleep, and I just stayed up two hours arguing with idiots on the internet.

I'm an idiot.
No. 43574
Got a haircut for the first time in 3 or 4 months, turns out, my hair got noticeably greyer during that time. Getting old sucks.
No. 43575
I a bit fear grey hair effect or become bald but looking at my father who started get gray hair only around ~55 I hope I have same genes.
No. 43576
What are you argued about?
No. 43578
6 kB, 211 × 239
It was a post on fucking reddit of all places about some american lady who lost it at her own wedding.

The dude did something wrong beforehands, and I was all like "why is that even such a big deal in the first place" and then had the nerve to argue "you can voice your displeasure with something without screaming apart the whole gathering", but no, apparently I am wrong.

In light of my recent assburger diagnosis I stayed calm and tried to not insult the people who were bitching around, and instead slowly and precisely explaint what I meant in every new post.

Then people riled up against me because I was writing "strange posts" and why I would "care so much".

On a message board.

And they call us the crazy ones.

I mean I do feel like that autism awareness denmark ball, but the joke on him is that he wanted something else (company of the grill) and here it was a literal discussion I joined on a discussion website and then got flamed at for discussing.
No. 43579
my temples turned grey about 1 year ago, beard also has some grey spots now. i don't believe that i look worse than before so i don't care.
also, i just cut myself a buzzcut 2,2 cm for the first time and it actually came out a lot better than expected. saved me 20€. not sure whether i'll ever go to the barber again.
No. 43580
Never could stomach Reddit's manner of conversing. It's seemingly polite, but after a few posts you clearly notice the passive-aggresiveness seething from them, so all that ostentatious civility turns out to be fake, and you understand that there's a sea of bile underneath it. Reddit is the American Smile of the Internet.
No. 43581
I feel like balding will be much worse, my father was completely bald in his late 30s, so my prospects are bleak.
My beard only has a couple of grey hair in it, but I'm not worried about if push comes to shove I can just shave it off.
No. 43583
All of human history on some level is a bunch of bald men squabbling over who gets to wear the nicest hats
No. 43587
1,9 MB, 1985 × 2362
Reading the Enterpreneurial Self by U. Bröckling, about 1/3 through. Today I went through the neoliberalisms he talks about as analyzed by Focault. Two (three) things that struck me while reading the chapter.

1) I understand more and more why Foucault is such a big deal in postgrad schools. He coined the theory of governementality and some concepts that stick to it, while being the "arch". The concepst and the ones I think can be called align to it describe our present quite well or plausible. From late middle ages to Enlightenment, modernity and a peek into postmodernity he gave an overview of one thing that pulls through all this, while its modus operandi is changing. The subjects and their formation, their adjustments by being governed, by activating self governance. In the end also a question of power, which Focuault is famous for theorizing.

2) Cybernetics or systemics is a theory or model in the present and has been since the 1960s or 1970s, that also is the base for a new mode of governementality. Neoliberalist theories especially the american branch and Hayek work with such a vocabulary e.g.

3) competition/ free market and the cybernetic human are the two pillars of socialization/association in the neoliberal theories that had an effect on the empirical reality. I think that imageboard dwellers that call themselves losers are a phenomenon or lets say a product of that ideology, darwinian mindset and economic rationality incorporated, while not being able to make an return of investment (one prone example would be the "sex/relationship market"), if they ever think they had capital to invest to beginn with.
No. 43589
Had a good day. Went shopping with mum. Bought a packet of tea-filters to use instead of the iron tea-egg.
The box is entirely in German, and has Mein Moment der Entspannung written on it, which I found infinitely amusing for whatever reason.
It's a whole lot easier to make tea with these than to try and fill the tea-egg with leaves.

It feels so God damn good to be able to just sit back and drink some tea without worrying about panic attacks or pain. Exercise really is the key. I mean, I was actually able to drink a cup of espresso a few days back without much hassle.

I made some tea and then I went outside. Cleaned the table and then I read.
Made two chapters of progress with the Odyssey and also wrote some diary entries. I'm trying to improve my style the cohesion and depth of my text to create a semi-artistic work.
There is also the temptation that I shouldn't necessarily strive for art, but rather, I should seek to fulfil my most carnal instincts of wishing to be loved and write knock-off self insert light novel using my HS experiences as a basis.

There's a lot of paperwork to be done, though my uni-application is now complete with the voucher I got that testifies my B2 certificate. Funny thing is, I'm only uploading it to trip my ego. It won't actually net me any extra points because I've already maxed out the 100 extra points.
Currently filling out the form that I'm going to send to the National Treasury to reclaim the money that we paid for the exam.

Everything feels kind of aimless now that I'm just neeting it out until my summer job starts.
No. 43597
79 kB, 671 × 550
I am really rapidly changing internally in these past months, this pandemic has either coincided or brought upon me a period of great happiness and growth. Everyone I know seems to be far worse off but I seem to be thriving during this crisis. I have hit a streak of job-related success marks and find my future looking bright and something to look forward to. I am visibly stronger and thinner after embarking on a self-designed program of near-daily cardio. I spend most of my hours working towards some form of productive goal and it seems that procrastination - the bane of my life has been exorcised out of me for the most part.

It's especially interesting that it was after I stopped actively dreading and worrying about my sorry state that I began being able to stick to getting out of said state. I don't know what role this pandemic has had on everything changing but I feel it probably has something to do with it.

Today I felt an urge to go to a field that overlooks the area I live in. I stayed there for about an hour trying to examine my life. I came to no coherent conclusion.
No. 43602
Would depend on how you define the market. Some breeds of Market Libertarian are anti-capitalist but are pro-market because they define capitalism as the corruption of itself, while retaining the belief that the ability to engage in the market is the fairest way for two people to negotiate.

It's one of those things where horseshoe theory comes into play, the purest forms of market thought and the purest forms of old school anarchism (so heavily Marxist/Socialist) are virtually identical. The Socialist says that under Communism, it will be to each according to his needs and from each according to his means. The market likewise says that people in a healthy marketplace will be able to exchange goods and services in such a way that everyone receives what they need in the most efficient manner.

The waters get even muddier with Land Value Tax, ideas of the co-op in the Market (Mutualism especially) and the empowerment of market participants instead of the disempowerment of the participant under capitalism which reduces people to producers or consumers instead of all being part of a single ecosystem.

The more I read, the more I'm convinced that a lot of the fringe Libertarians who aren't on the Libertarian->Monarchist treadmill (or applying conventional economics to a non-conventional political philosophy) in some way are actually advocating for a very similar outcome to the Anarchist wing of Socialism. Then you really go down the bunny hole and start reading about people like Agorists who basically advocate economic class warfare in order to bring about communism the Agora.

t. been thinking about how radical unionism/syndicalism is pulling revolutionary processes out of the Market, which by now should have been tapped pretty dry
No. 43603
Honestly the sad thing is any form of anarchism is doomed to failure whenever you retain a societal superstructure above 200-250 people. As for the markets it's a pipe dream. Anyone who's played a game of poker should have realized this by now because the accumulation of capital will always become concentrated with a small group using it to seize power over others.

This is the thing that I think most bydlo fail to understand which is that the moment you get beyond the basic necessities and a few luxury goods it's chiefly a matter of power. Maybe if you're a millionaire it's not but when we're talking about having ten, twenty million dollars, it's less and less about the money and by the time you're into the hundreds of millions has nothing to do with the money at all.

The system itself will always be subject to it's own entropy. There is no natural homeostasis to a radical free market.
No. 43604
>Honestly the sad thing is any form of anarchism is doomed to failure whenever you retain a societal superstructure above 200-250 people
Why does it need to be bigger? The point isn't to make an anarchist anything, it's to tear down the existing monopolisation of power that is the state.

>Anyone who's played a game of poker should have realized this by now because the accumulation of capital will always become concentrated with a small group using it to seize power over others.
Except Poker itself is based on big-C Capitlist principle of zero-sum interaction, while the Market is not by its nature, zero-sum. A market does not exist outside of those who participate, so if the people exclude predatory practice from their market, then their market is not predatory. If a market uses non-Capitalist methods of valuation including things like need as mitigating factors in trade then it moves towards a socialistic market. It's a common misconception that Market and Capitalism are the same thing, but they are not. This is what is meant when Market Liberals talk about disliking Capitalism. The other advantage of Revolutionary philosophy over reformist philosophy is the willingness to overthrow something that establishes itself as a tyrant. Using the Poker analogy, it'd be if the rest of the table instead decided to play snap, and the poker guy wanted to keep taking everyone's money. It's play snap or get out.
No. 43606
>Why does it need to be bigger?
different American
All you need is two villages to pool their forces under one warlord and the process of state formation will begin anew.

This is how it all started in the first place, after all. Human societies underwent a process of Darwinian selection, whereby the more militarily capable ones conquered the others. Usually, that meant the large conquered the small, and over time this meant that led to human societies progressing up the ladder of size, complexity, and tyranny.

Anarchism can only work if we all go back to being hunter-gatherers. I have yet to see a convincing argument as to how it's supposed to work otherwise.
No. 43630
I definitely don't feel right but I don't have a fever. I've had fatigue, nonstop chills, and getting winded by the weirdest simplest shit and now the lower part of my right lung is starting to hurt. It feels like I cant breathe at work. I'm going to try getting tested but I'm still as frightened of the potential medical bills. I guess on the plus side the worst case scenario other than death which is probably unlikely is that I either get ordered to avoid people and not go to work or go anywhere, or that it turns out I had some different problem. It feels really eerily similar to the early parts of Lyme disease though. I'm fine as long as I don't exert myself at all and try to avoid smoking except some shortness of breath and feeling like absolute garbage in the morning and being uncomfortable at night.