/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

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No. 465
110 kB, 892 × 892
How Goes Your Quest For Love?
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No. 466
>>465
I don't search it anymore.
Love is tiresome regarding the effort you have to put in relationships to be able to receive it in the first place.
I only have enough energy to keep myself in existence.
That said, how is it on your end?
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No. 467
>>466
I see thanks for sharing. I'm still early with the quest maybe something unexpected might appear in the future.
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No. 468
>>467
No worries and i wish you great success in your quest for finding what you are looking for!
I am now in my mid 30s and i can say, that i had my fair share of Gf where two out of them were even wife material, but i foked it everytime up, which i did with every relationship i had.
One ex Gf said to me, that i am incapable of having relationships and that got me thinking. I think it derives from the betrayal i had to endure from two of my closer friends, or as i thought they were.
This showed me, that i don't have any knowledge of human nature and withdrawn myself completely from spiritual intimacy. That said, i do go from time to time to "Ü 30" parties and do some Resteficken, but a relationship is about trust, to surrender yourself to your partner and that is one thing i can't do and therefore i excluded myself from finding real love.
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No. 469
Honestly that is one of the most disgusting looking women I have ever seen. Not just trashy tattoos but face tatts on top of it.
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No. 474
It went 404 years ago.
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No. 495
>>469
That's Russian upper class for you
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No. 496
I have no girl I'm interested in.
Last one turned me down.
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No. 518
240 kB, 900 × 601
277 kB, 800 × 600
>>495
The daughter of one of the most famous and corrupt Russian officials is quite a catch too.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dmitry_Peskov
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No. 525
>>469
She had them removed.
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No. 552
76 kB, 1920 × 1080
>How Goes Your Quest For Love?
Not so good I fear, I misplaced my rulebook for this game, and the online guides are confusing. Also, hardly anybody wants to play with me. It seems that everyone always wants to play with people who are already playing, very strange. In the rare event somenoe wants to play with me, the hints for this are subtle and not easy to get, and the server software seems to frequently match up players which aren't really suited for each other, maybe they need to redo their matchmaking.
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No. 553
27 kB, 477 × 268
>>465
what is love ?
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No. 591
At the moment I know that I wouldn't have much to offer to a woman. I mainly strive for personal development and education. Anything else is of minor relevance to me. Sure, I would like to a have a girl with me but it would be too much of a hassle to invest time in this right now. Sometimes I find pleasure on the internet, but usually such girls lose interest quickly as they have a whole ocean of young desperate men to chose from. Still it's a good way to test yourself out a bit and have fun.
Another thing I try to do is getting into eroticism and trying to get an understandment of love, sexuality and romance that goes beyond internet pornography and the cult of senseless promiscuity.
I'm not even as desperate any more as I have been once, I just see love as something that I have to work for and that has to come more or less naturally.

To me it's not the quest of love but rather the quest of becoming as great of a person as I can be.
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No. 672
>>591
t. sits in front of wikipedia all day, clicking from article to article.
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No. 717
Not going at all really, I'm going to look once I've moved in July. For now I just focus on my happiness, appearance and health and a good partner will eventually appear.
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No. 804
Literally game over. I take solace in the fact that family still cares about me.
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No. 806
>>591
>but it would be too much of a hassle to invest time in this right now.

you now that is bullshit, you try to become a "better" person but also look for love somehow but want it to come naturally.

My advice: If it comes, never go for the "I don't have time right now route" if you have never experienced it before.

Ofc you somehow have to "offer" something but seriously this comes by accident in the end. I know many horrible people, that have relationships. You shouldn't be an woman hating incel tho. But everything more far away from that pit is fine for relationship.
It has more to do with overcoming fear and being relaxed and actually enjoying one persons company so that to blossom up around that person. that cannot be planned really

so do your thing but don't reject the chance of a relationship because of "I have so many things to improve first"
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No. 812
how do you ask a girl out when they're a coworker/in your friend group and you dont want things to be awkward when they say no
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No. 814
>>812

I don't think it's possible for it to not be awkward with coworkers. I don't know your situation but I wouldn't try it unless being given clear signals they like you. Sorry man
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No. 819 Kontra
delete the thread
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No. 836 Kontra
>>814
This. Everything else is highly dangerous.
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No. 897 Kontra
>>814
i got clear signals that she liked me but i didn't act right away and then she got to know me more and i fear my boring personality has diminished her lust
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No. 931
>>897
the tricky thing is distinguishing normal signs of being nice from "signs".
I know I can't do it.
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No. 937 Kontra
>>931
she was being touchy and invading personal space
i feel like that's very indicative

im just so paranoid that its a manipulative ploy and when i play my cards ill get shat on
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No. 943
>>937
Sometimes girls just do this for attention without any actual aim of romance. I'd ignore any romatic signals that don't occur outside of work, execepting the Christmas party.
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No. 950
>>937
I will never understand NT behaviour. How does one get "let's invade their personal space without permission" as the answer to "how do I make a good impression with this person?"
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No. 951
99 kB, 241 × 217
>>937
Not necessarily a sign if context is not right.

I have a female co worker who does this and it's not at all with any romantic intention.

>im just so paranoid that its a manipulative ploy and when i play my cards ill get shat on
now that's just paranoia, most people aren't that interested in you to even consider doing something like that.

I once asked a different co worker if we'd like to get to know each other better and got rejected, but nothing other than awkward feelings came out of it and now it's almost normal again.
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No. 966
What are the chances of some near thirties asexual find a nonsexual partner? Do I need to wait until robo spouses are a thing?
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No. 974
>>966
> of some near thirties asexual find a nonsexual partner?
Probably bad, as long as you are not willing to be a provider for a girl who will have sex with other males. Especially at this age women will be looking for someone who will get them pregnant, so sex is pretty much required. Aren't there online communities which specialize on this topic?
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No. 978 Kontra
>>966
Just become an aromantic, bro. Love is just a forced meme.
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No. 2140
so ive started talking to the girl from work more
now she messages me every day asking what i've been up to and its getting a little bit annoying

eeeeeeeee
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No. 2141
>>2140
Lel, Why did you start then in the first place.

You should just shitpost at her honestly, either she stops or she actually likes what you are effortlessly blabbering, which would be nice.
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No. 2143
8 kB, 202 × 249
Ain't talking 'bout love.
My love is rotten to the core.
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No. 2145
I got burnt pretty bad a few years back (more than once) and it partly feels like I'm still getting my shit together from that. There have been at least a couple of girls since then but I've also had bigger problems than "that feel when no gf" and have largely closed myself off from the world as a result.

Maybe I just have rubbish taste but relationships, they're like setting a bomb off in your life aren't they? And it's worse because you just sit there gawping at the explosion like a slow child at an badly managed Indian fireworks display.

>>468
>but a relationship is about trust, to surrender yourself to your partner and that is one thing i can't do and therefore i excluded myself from finding real love.

Come on, man. That's the ideal but only a complete fool lives in a relationship without both eyes open.

>>897
Just invite her out for a drink or something. Get some time when you two are alone together that she freely agreed to, you're a bloke so you making a move in that environment is part and parcel.

Anyway, you're on the highway to the dangerzone but it's not the one you think. The real problem comes when you score but things fizzle out and you have to work with your ex and act normal in the friendship group or it turns out she is one of those slags who works her way around all the lads in the group.
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No. 2170 Kontra
>>2145
>Anyway, you're on the highway to the dangerzone but it's not the one you think
no i totally agree here, this is a risk because i honestly feel as if my boss would judge me because she is very tough and likes me because I am too; and the woman i like is a bit of a bougie rich family sort. I also have a vested interest in maintaining a friendship with woman because we have similar plans for the future and I could save a lot of money if they were pursued jointly. Guarenteed 100% that will happen if we remain friends. If I go for a relationship and then that ends, then its gonna probably be off the table.

At the same time, the only other women i like / can stand are way older than me or already in relationships. The question is how much of a beggar I am...

>>2141
because I like talking to her about stuff. I dont like making conversation for the sake of it. When somebody asks me how my day has been, i dont have much to say really because im not an interesting person who does things besides work, shit and eat. And then i have to awkardly ask them about their day in response as if i give a shit.
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No. 2171 Kontra
>>2145
> they're like setting a bomb off in your life aren't they?
is it impossible to have a non-disruptive relationship?
like i dont want to make serious compromises in my life, and i dont think i will unless its for something like children.
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No. 2176
>>2170
>the only other women i like / can stand are way older than me or already in relationships.

It sounds like you already have things worked out but I feel I should add that everyone can relate. The assumption I once had was that I generally hated most people but then I learnt from experience that I simply wasn't getting to them before I decided that. I learnt that lesson foremost from an attractive blonde cheerleader at university (double cringe because it is an Americanism) who actually turned out to have more depth than most of the people I've ever met once I bothered to talk to her.

Plus, there are always other women. Maybe you can even take a few runs at the women your co-worker knows outside of work.

>>2171
>is it impossible to have a non-disruptive relationship?

lol.
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No. 2194 Kontra
>>2176
>Plus, there are always other women. Maybe you can even take a few runs at the women your co-worker knows outside of work.
Yeah but practically she's quite a good match for me, in terms of interests. All the other women i've been close to haven't shared much more than a class at university or something like that. She thinks my hoarding compulsions are cool, for example.

>who actually turned out to have more depth than most of the people I've ever met once I bothered to talk to her
I generally find that there's seperate distinguishing factors between someone you'll like as a close friend and somebody you'll think is interesting. Like if somebody is nice and caring and you hang around them a lot maybe because you are forced to or whatever, you can end up being very close friends with them despite them being boring as fuck and having nothing really to talk about. By the second criteria, I would say that most people have no defining characteristics - men and women - and interesting people are people with hobbies or passions, whatever the fuck they might be.
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No. 2630
she wants me to move in with her

fuck this is bad
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No. 2631 Kontra
>>2630
I like it when somebody is home who loves you. But prepare for more quarrels
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No. 2633
>>2631
Unless it's good change going to be your wife moving in seems like a horrible idea for EC tiers.
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No. 2637
>>2633
Depends on gf/wife

I lurked less, I mean she often was sitting in another room because nobody wants to hang around with each other every hour of the day, so I had time to check EC. But I'm fine with lurking less anyway.

My gf moved out again and I got really depressed because suddenly you are lonely again. I mean yeah you quarrel quite often, no big quarrels but still I like how we shared the evenings together in bed or preparing food.
It's definitely a situation that changes quite a few things. It has positive and negatives sides. My gf respects my ec tierness more or less
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No. 2638 Kontra
>>2631
>>2633
I haven't even asked her out yet, we haven't had any proper intimate contact

if im in "friendzone" then im certainly not moving in with her because i would kill myself being so close to somethin i could not have

if im not and we become a couple i feel like you need a cew months minimum to confirm that you can live together before doing so. i have a lot invested in this relationship for future business prospects
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No. 2639
>>2638
Whoa that sheds a completely different light on it.
I mean that sounds like a friendzone. You never had any intimate contact but she suggests you both move in together? Call me puzzled!
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No. 2642
>>2639
we met and hung out for a month and then for the last month shes been overseas visiting her family in yurop

and will be moving to a new 2 bedroom apartment in September or something and has asked me to move in with her
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No. 2644
>>2642
so no kisses and sex?

I wouldn't move in with her until that is safe that you to have a relationship in the common sense. I mean if you would kys when its don't what are you even thinking about it. I too would think its hell living together with a woman you love and who rejected you
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No. 2646
>>2644
turns out shes moving in november

so theres a bit of time

when shes back ill get drunk and "ask her out", whatever that entails. What are common ways to phrase the proposal of a gf contract?
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No. 2647
>>2646
>ill get drunk

I think that's the first mistake.
Usually guys being drunk and trying get a girl are the most unattractive things on earth. If she is drunk too, well and wants you, it can be cool.

What do even mean by asking her out? you both hung around together, there is no point in "dating" anymore. Either the magic is there and can be felt or its don't.
Talking about love is nothing you should do until you both are a couple or at least have something intimate.

just my 2 cents, I'm not really experienced with woman tbh, but I have managed to get gf.
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No. 2649
>>2642
She's using you for rent money. Don't do it. NEVER move in with a girl you just met a month or two ago. I've had this ploy get tried on me.
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No. 2650 Kontra
>>2647
im not a retard whilst drunk im just less likely to think 20 steps ahead and be autism

>talking about love
i agree, never say it until you're certain

so what makes a relationship official? sex? kiss? if i invite her to dinner and we have a nice dinner? like how does it start. right now we are friends with a lot of sexual tension
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No. 2651
>>2649
Coolstory?
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No. 2652 Kontra
>>2649
its in fact the opposite

shes quite rich family and when i said i would consider it and asked how much rent she wanted, she said she didnt want any rent

it would honestly be a huge financial weight off my back since Sydney city is incredibly expensive i currently pay $315/week in rent
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No. 2653
>>2649
Or maybe she just likes him and thinks it is a good idea. She could find another room mate anytime I guess well depends on the city when its just about another person paying rent so that it is less

>>2650
>so what makes a relationship official

once you agreed on that but it starts with passionate kisses and sex I'd say.
Why dine and then what?

I mean when there is sexual tension you just have to get that escalated into kissing/sex. There is no need to have fancy diner.
There will be a moment when you want to kiss her and you can sense that she wants it to, then you just do it and then you do it even more and the rest is history.
it's coded into our DNA and ofc the autism can be a massive obstacle. it's the line between being offensive and too agressive and too passive

in the end we here cannot judge the situation well. But I know back in the days KC Keins were actually a help in getting gf you had to skip the woman hater ofc
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No. 2654 Kontra
>>2653
this is why i think get drunk
i dont know what to do and need to think less when it comes to these things
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No. 2655 Kontra
being drunk js also a good ezcuse for being unable to get hard when its really anxiety.
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No. 2656
>>2655
if she loves you, it will be ok, I know many to which it happened.

>>2654
It worked without it for me but it took some time to get there. I always failed with drugs, made me even more autistic tbh. I lost total control over me amphetamines mixed with some other drugs etc

Really, it's just this moment you can sense. It's a strong feel that can paralyze you, it's just the fear of the unknown...the question of what will happen if I will try to kiss her now.

You will never find out if you don't do it. And the danger of sensing wrong is there. There is no 100% safety in it yet I think there is quite a high percentage in sensing right
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No. 2657 Kontra
>>2656
there's no capacity for fucking this up
she's a coworker

i could easily lose my job if i did something construable as rapey/creepy
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No. 2689
39 kB, 620 × 599
>>2657
>she's a coworker
>i could easily lose my job if i did something construable as rapey/creepy
Haha oh dog what down. You're in too deep pull up!
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No. 2692 Kontra
>>2689
fuck me dead
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No. 2710
>>2652
1. It's an opportunity and she seems like a good friend. You've really got to take the time to evaluate your own feelings towards her though, could it be loneliness or maybe a certain platonic fondness that is driving this? Would you be able to handle her getting railed in the next room by another guy?

It would be easier to know if you went out and got involved with some other girl to see how you manage. Maybe you will forget about her and realise it was all nought but lust.

2. She's not going to fuck you, bro. I'm sorry to say but she's asking you to move in with her. Into a two bedroom place.

You can explain to her honestly (in person) that your feelings towards her have gotten complicated so you can't move in and leave that stewing in her mind in the thin hope something will come of it. She's a grownup so she should be able to handle this like a mature adult and there will just be some awkward space between you two for a few months before she forgets about it.

>>2650
You fuck around for just under month and then ask her out. It a 'thing' the moment you put your dick in her though.

>>2657
>i could easily lose my job if i did something construable as rapey/creepy

"Sir! SIR!! ERNST ASKED ME OUT OMG WHAT A CREEPY WEIRDO! 🤮" How do you think that kind of story will go down at an employment tribunal?
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No. 2744
I found it and it goes a tap tap a tappy tap tap tap

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHvJGPcNlVw why even worry? It's not like you are literally risking your life being eaten as your last act
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No. 2745 Kontra
>>2710
  1. theres a couple of things im not comfortable with but on the whole she sees eye to eye with me on basically everything that matters. we have a bunch of plans to build some interesting machines. I dont think i could live with her if we weren't together because of jealousy.
  2. im not certain of this. It's possible but i dont think it's locked in. I'll vibe that when she's back. I'll visit her and body language is usually telling in regards to sexual attraction.
  3. thanks. ill set that as my goal. Is it obvious if you're a virgin? Should i be concerned or not?
  4. its not so much official action but more so reputation that is at stake. I've spent the last 3 yeafs building myself up as a very reliable, strong, fair and cool guy. That would reveal a lot of weakness
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No. 2763
>>2745
Hide your virginity behind a phrase like

>I didn't have sex for a long time

if you think something went wrong during sex, but not while you are doing it, could kill the mood. if there is a problem while sexings, take it with humor instead of self hate

the phrase btw 'worked' for me, maybe gf questioned it in her mind, but when you watch a lot of amateur porn, fucking is not something mystical anymore. I mean you can handle it without asking yourself what to do next, it comes automatically more or less and you enjoy how your dick feels in a vag

I would agree with the brit in a lot of points and definitely with the one about her getting fucked in the next room.
If you can't handle that, don't do it. And since you are a virgin I would guess it would be a hard time even if you can handle it. At least I would be jealous she gets fucked, you can hear her moan and the bed moving or whatever while you sit there in front of your computer. Feels quite shit when you don't have sex yourself. I guess it will feel depressing when you love that woman.

Always try to look left and right until something is a safe bet. That is normal.
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No. 2773
91 kB, 797 × 797
Not sure I'm even capable of feeling love anymore. Quest status: fucked up as hard as my life is.
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No. 2792
284 kB, 593 × 647
>>2745
Keyword: Chill

Most people have no idea how to do sex and the first time between two people is always more of an awkward fumble at the best of times. What Jerry says rings true as well, sex is fun and should be approached with jovial enthusiasm even if you have to fake it.

Let's say you did find the dumb courage to tell her you're a 40 year old virgin trapped in a 30 year old man's body though - what will happen? She doesn't seem like some slag who will laugh at you for it or otherwise kick you out of bed in the knowledge that you will become infatuated. Why worry?

>That would reveal a lot of weakness

Literally everyone has been rejected. This isn't far off thinking you look weak by drinking water in public.

So long as you don't make a scene people will think nothing of it, they might even respect you for your honest vulnerability (assuming they ever hear of it).
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No. 2804 Kontra
I am machine
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No. 2822 Kontra
>>2792
good post, thanks

plot thickens she just spent half an hour picking apart my rude behaviour to her friends whilst drunk from a month ago
i think that bodes well