>How do we find the kingdom of Heaven from within, as Jesus spake?
There is no kingdom of Heaven. Your soul is not transcendental and there is nowhere you will be sent to once your lowly form withers away. If there is a God, or some superior creator figure, it is only natural that he doesn't care about our individual actions. There is no point in you judging ants, there is no point in God judging you. Perhaps at some point our creator cared about his creation, if it was even a conscious act but he doesn't care about you specifically. An indifferent being that created a fundamentally unfair world built on suffering is not a being to worship.
In Christianity, Man is blamed for suffering. If what pains you isn't the action of another human being, if it's something beyond anyone's control - then you must also blame Man. Worst case scenario, it'll be chalked up to God working in mysterious ways which is also your faul, after all, man not being in Eden is also our fault.
The idea that mankind is fundamentally flawed, weak and composed of a great mass of lowly sinners is a good starting point. The problem is that the very material realities of our world and the biological realities of being a human being are two never ending sources of suffering. It's unavoidable.
I believe that this despondent creator did place us in an incomplete world, one in which the most brutal of horrors would be predictable recurring events. Our creator is either fine with this or so despondent that he wouldn't care. To live a life of good is to be in an open state of revolt towards this uncaring demiurge, to be genuinely good towards others as a way of fighting the unfairness of this soul prison we're stuck in. Many good people grow bitter and resentful from this world and the people around it, many will attempt to do go in hopeless attempts at being eventually rewarded with an afterlife good boy treat. This is a mistake and if the archons would care to even take note of your withering old life form who sacrificed so much just to receive a pat on the head, they would surely be howling in laughter as you return to dust. A justified punishment for someone performing moral acrobatics for a selfish purpose.
There is nothing waiting for you when you die. Whatever you do, will sooner or later be forgotten if not immediately after your death. Do not blame your fellow man, blame your creator. Be loving towards your fellow man. no homo