Weather has been fine today. I spend a lot of time looking at the trees in the garden. Probably a side effect of the Asian art classes I'm taking.
Currently there's two apple trees blooming.
Yesterday night I went out just as the moon was coming up. That's when the sky is almost purple and parts of it are tainted orange. It's almost dark, but you can still see the colours and the outlines faintly.

Ordered some cables for my PC today. I was a brainlet and accidentally ordered one that I can't use, because it was listed in the wrong section of the site. (That and I'm retarded when it comes to tech.) So I'll have to send it back.
Got a headphone cable extender so now I can kick back in the chair completely without any worries. I should have solved this issue a lot sooner 2bh.
Also bought a small bottle of vodka while I was at the store. Decided to buy Finnish vodka. The Polish one I bought half a year ago tasted like nail polish and was borderline undrinkable. This one was a bit more expensive, so I hope it's better.
It's kinda weird how alcohol is so hard to get right.
Anyway, I feel immense shame over wasting 6 euros.

I keep running out of random consumable items. Never realised I use so many goods that can run out. Tea lights, oils, tea, paper, ink and so on. Makes me feel like I'm part of civilisation, because these needs while not necessarily the most complex, are still more complex than most food items and drinks.
So, I'm out of tealights. Which is a crucial item if I want to evaporate water and eucalyptus to keep mosquitoes away during the late spring/summer.
Sometimes it makes me feel like a pensioner that I'm so preoccupied with minute things like these.

>>54247
cursed_image.jpg
What the fuck was even Teletubbies about? Like, I can't remember a structure to the show at all, I remember seeing it a lot, but I don't remember any actual details. They just did random things and had the funny vacuum cleaner at their fallout shelter. That, and the urban legend about a kid slitting his stomach open because of the show.

I spent the day sleeping and looking at pointless tech purchases dreaming about having the money to sit around and tinker on old systems all day while watching my money double if I sold now but I'm going to hodl.

Oh. Fucking. Shit. I did not actually expect to win either of those. I need to kill that account. I spent more on two Maxwell cards than I did on my one RDNA card last year. I am in seriously deep shit if the crypto market becomes kill before I can offload one of those things along with my other old GPU. I was expecting to have several more months of this bullrun especially with new Ampere and RDNA2 GPUs being released.

Fucking Biden. Why the fuck must the one time they actually insist on raising taxes on rich people affect me and every single other middleclass or poorfag. I should have waited. Shit. I should have waited until the market floods with cheap GPUs to buy another one.

>>54237

>Social interactions are so annoyingly complicated

When walking past people in the neighborhood, I usually acknowledge them with a polite "Good Morning". Simple, no other interaction is expected or desired. But that only works in the morning. "Good afternoon" would seem to be the equivalent expression for later in the day, but it's not really. It has a slightly different connotation. When I say "Good afternoon" it seems as though that's the opening line of a longer talk. It's more formal. Like "Good afternoon, sir. I was wondering if...".
I just can't bring myself to say "Good afternoon". So if it's late in the day, I just skip a verbal greeting and go with a simple head nod or wave. That way I'm polite, but there's no confusion. Now, how far away from the person should I be before initiating that nod/wave? Oh man, it took me forever to figure that out. I have to consider my speed and direction, their speed, how familiar I am with them...sometimes it's easier to just stay inside :D

>>54257

>When I say "Good afternoon" it seems as though that's the opening line of a longer talk.

Why not use "good day" instead then? It sounds considerably Australian, just like "mate", so maybe it would sound somewhat odd for other anglophones, but it's much more noncommittal than "good afternoon", basically indicating that you're aware of the presence of the person you're addressing, but nothing much else. Or maybe use a neutral "hello", which might not be as polite as "good morning", but at least it doesn't have such a hue of familiarity as "hi", for example.

>>54259
"Hello" works well, and is my go-to when I feel compelled to verbalize. It doesn't carry any deeper meaning or expectation, and as a common two-syllable word, it's easy to understand even when mumbled under your breath, or muttered quickly.

>Why not use "good day" instead then? It sounds considerably Australian, just like "mate", so maybe it would sound somewhat odd for other anglophones

Yeah, we don't use "good day" for casual greetings, so it's not an option in this context. Although, I think if I added a "mate" to the end, "good day, mate", then it could work as a quick, light-hearted acknowledgement. No, probably not, but now that that's in my head, I just know it's going to slip out one of these days, and then I'm going to cringe all the way home :D.

I just don't talk to people. Problems weren't. Tbh, I find it kind of annoying when people intrude on my headspace by doing that shit with no actual intention of following up with something.

>>54268
I just do it the anglo way and ask "howre ya doin?" with no interest whatsoever in carrying on a conversation just like they usually do with me. Either that or passing on the street just a nod.

>>54257
If they're close enough to infect you with corona you waited too long. If you have to raise your voice to make verbal contact you jumped the gun. People wait to roughly within distance to where it makes sense mechanically among strangers to use a speaking not shouting voice so something like 8 feet should do, maybe 3 meters or whereabouts. Actually scratch that, 6 feet may be the right distance.

>>54247
I am doin ill. I'm not sure what's wrong but I have constant nausea and motor problems. I am considering if stress has any role or trying to blame it on psychosomatic causes but the constant jerking and imbalance is at the point of embarrassing me and I have to acknowledge I can't control but I want to say surely I must be faking it because I cannot find a physical cause. The winded is definitely physical. I'm extremely exhausted and find myself moving like I have mild tardive dyskinesia. Just having a cigarette is making me nauseous. I can't tell if any of this has to do with infections of anything triggering autimmune disorders my family has. I don't think I've been particularly more stressed recently than normal, only more annoyed. The inability to coordinate my muscles properly is mortifying though because I visually look like some spastic retard and can't just write it off as "I'm fine." I'm now at the wanting to stay out of the public eye mode and resolve as swiftly as possible so I can go back to pretending everything is normal. I feel like I'm getting deepening bags under my eyes. I can't lay still in bed but I'm tired too. Haven't really changed anything about medication in years, idk what the problem is but I'm now losing my appetite.

Yep, what I suspected is true.
My "employment" is basically charity, because my boss' personal feelings and ideals.

I can not rely on this shit. I need to find an alternative source of income so I am not dependent on someone's goodwill.

My roommate just got some Apple products, and the surface was really smooth, never felt that before. I did not spoil the unboxing fun by mentioning how perhaps some Chinese workers had to inhale all the dust from polishing :')

>>54281
Sell drugs

>>54283
Unironically that's one of my plans.

>>54284
It's a good one. What are you selling?

>>54285
There's a niche for "designer" weed strains and an uncaptured marker for extracted THC oil. All THC oil on the market right now is imported for ridiculous prices. I happen to know how to do the extraction process.
Right now I'm saving up for a growbox and extraction equipment.

>>54286
I also want to learn to make method, but only for personal use.

Good morning,

I hate women.

Funny story from a week ago.
There's a store right next to my gym. Patrons sometimes go in for water and snacks.
I was at the store after my squats getting something to drink, and a dude starts talking to me.
"Man, we all have our vices, huh. Mine is cigarettes, yours is cola. Hi by the way, I saw you at the gym"
I told him it wasn't cola. Its 8% beer.
That clearly took him aback, and he asked "Uh, are you OK man?"
I bluntly said "no".
He didn't really know what to say, so he wished me good luck and left.

Fucking neurotypicals lmao. Making normies uncomfortable by my very existence is one of the few pleasures I have left in life.

>>54295
Absolutely based, but wait a minute

>8% alcohol brewski

I thought Iran PROHIBITED alcohol??

>>54296
I'm from Kazakhstan. Due to having 3 different isps (phone, home, work), I show up as Iran, Omsk and germoney.

Welcome to EC

I need to get to a doctor. I'm not able to hold coffee down

>>54284
It's high risk low wage gig. You risk jail death and robbery for super low income. There isn't much money in drugs contrary to what the media tells you, because CIA/MI6/other shady groups need street level guys. You are not a narco and won't be a real narco, and it's just those upper level guys getting the real money. Problem is, you instantly attract other narco and LEO attention and at that point need people like the CIA or Mexican police covering your ass for State reasons. Like for example DEA wanted several Afghan warlords to go down but intel/.mil needed them for war and politics reasons. Your actual income especially depending where you are isn't going to exceed getting a real job. Most of the people selling drugs at street level don't know better or have the kind of felony convictions and criminal record preventing them from getting real work.

>>54286

>Right now I'm saving up for a growbox and extraction equipment

How many plants are you planing to grow? If you go with 5 or less a 60x60 box is pretty cheap an absolutely enough. For more plants you get into an area where building your own box might be cheaper. It would be better to cheap out on the box and invest in some high end LED lights instead of some cheaper ones.

>>54304
From an unspecified source, I know that a tent/pavilion that can be closed and some lamps can do the job. Don't know if it was a special tent/pavilion but it was a tent/pavilion inside a normal living room, also I don't know how air circulation was handled if that is even necessary at all.

>>54306
Just so you guys know, in case you haven't done this before, approximately one plant will get you on average one ounce of weed per female, which btw cannabis is males and females and you have to quickly identify and kill all the males before they can flower and ruin your females with seeds. One ounce. That is approximately $200-300 per plant. For literally months and months of work and the added risk.

You are not going to make good money off of growing weed. In Kazakhstan at least nobody will notice what you are doing but in Western surveillance states you can be caught easily.

Granted your grow methods can net you much higher returns but still, that is talking about only like $1200 or $1500 for a closet full of them. Maybe in different countries it works different but in my honest opinion it is not worth it, not worth the effort, not worth the risk. In a high living cost zone you are effectively talking about working the spring and summer to make enough in the fall to pay a month or two rent. You'll be doing this while taking huge risks that come with drugs and money, even if it's just pot.

I guess if you won't get caught it's okay, or if you smoke yourself so you're just saving some money, but really it's not a financially viable operation without a large field or warehouse and the kind of small 6 plant grows will make you in a year what a bydlo minimum wage job could get you in a month or two.

Everyone always wants to bring up something like sell drugs or rob banks when they're out of money but frankly you need to just get creative because it's a losing game. But then again I personally hate the paranoia of anything lawbreaking so I'm anal retentive about cross my t's and dot my i's type of mindset. It's one reason crypto or stonks is more appealing.

>but you can lose all your money!

Yeah, and I also could end up losing money on legal fees if I got caught selling weed, and you're envisioning the end result in your head not realizing how easy it is to have a bad crop when you don't know what you're doing.

I mean don't let me shit all over your parade I'm just saying, there are better ways to making money. obviously someone who isn't me did this once as a teenager and made fuckall compared to working a legit job. Also it means putting up with narcomans. Potheads generally are tolerable but you still get sketchy people.

I think on some level it's more important to build that motivation to make money thinking you'll profit off weed, than actually doing it. Brick I know already has been developing the business mindset. I still say to get creative rather than defaulting to "lol just sell drugs." The main thing is having that motivation and focus to begin with on carrying a project through to the end, and that includes offering your services. Like I mentioned before there are idiot kids out there who literally will pay you to set up XMP overclocks on their RAM and stable CPU overclocks, hundreds of dollars just so they can show off muh fps in muh Fortnite. You could even do this through video chat though you teach a man to fish he'll never buy fish from you again and sell his fish to your former clients, so there's that, but still.

Anyone who has any rudimentary understanding of html or how to set up a website or put a PC together can make mad money off zoomers right now, and it's better to do that than wait 6 months to worry about cops and deal with narcomans for as much profit.

Your biggest thing here is time is money. What is the maximum efficiency to rate of income over time? That is why I say buying GPUs to mine is dumb, if you could've flipped one and made double your money in one afternoon what it'd take you months to mine while exposing yourself to outside risks and disruptions. If it takes you more time to make money like growing weed instead of helping inept zoomers and boomers then it is more inefficient.

Should have stayed quiet should have stayed hinw

Yesterday night I had an emotional breakdown because I can't keep up with the hanzi copying writing practices.
So before bed I decided to take out a brush and some ink and I tried doing calligraphy, to see if anything changed since HS. It wasn't amazing, but because I have a better structural understanding of the characters now, I can actually paint them better.
Basically I just wanted to make a calligraphic rendition of a slogan I made up for the next week.
Sometimes I think of myself as a state, or as the government of a state, and usually I'd say I'm a totalitarian one at that. My body is the government and the people, the room is the land area it governs.
So anyway, I have a week to turn in 6 little descriptions and analyses of Korean art, so I made the slogan "Six days - Six essays" or "六日、六作文", which might or might not be incorrect in Chinese, but I actually like the ring and aura it gives to the task.
I'm just losing it probably.

Today I finished copying the hanzis for last week. It was pretty cold outside so I had to do it in the house instead of the garden.

My mother was actually pretty nice to day and drove me to the place where I picked up my package. We also went to the pharmacy. It's been quite a while since we went anywhere together like this that wasn't shopping for food. Told her it felt just like the old days, before the pandemic.
I asked her if I could have a cheeseburger. So I got a cheeseburger. It was very infantile of me, but the whole ordeal felt somehow nostalgic. It was like during the first few years of HS.

Picked up the right cable. So now I have access to this sick 1TB HDD I had sitting around for a few months. Somehow I managed to fill up my 750GB external drive, and I don't like saving shit on the internal one, so it became urgent to get the cable.
PC didn't recognise the drive for some reason at first, and I was mad because it did show up with a driver install, it was only the windows file manager that didn't see it. A few minutes of clicking around and it turns out it had no partitions, so I formatted it and now it works. The only thing I need now is an USB-hub because I ran out of ports and I don't want to swap out the webcam and the drive constantly.
The older I get the more issues I seem to have with technology.

I feel like my Greek is improving. I'm kinda disappointed in myself when it comes to Greek. But then again, it was never meant to be my focus, and it'll likely stay a curiosity. But I still registered for the basic exam at the end of the year, and hopefully next year I can attend an author class, preferably one where they read Homer. Then I'd cross off Learn Greek from the list of my 5 year plan. (Which would mean I've completed two out of five goals.)

>>54311
I don't know where your numbers come from, but without freedom units my math would look like: 1 plant gives 60 to 150g indoors, let's say 100g on average. If you charge 7€ per g (decent price) you're on 700 per plant. If you get some autos you can easily get your plants done in 3 month without much time investment.

>>54327
ounce=28 grams which like I said it depends on how you grow it. I was thinking 1-2 ounce=28-56g

> 1 plant gives 60 to 150g indoors, let's say 100g on average. If you charge 7€ per g (decent price) you're on 700 per plant

This is what I mean about how things look in your head not matching up to reality. You are effectively basing your assumptions on this most optimal outcome rather than preparing to be disappointed. Your lowball range is effectively my upper range. First starting their own grow it's not likely most people will have that optimal range, which 4 ounces per plant is very, VERY optimal.

You then compound this problem by saying the classic "I've not actually sold drugs I just imagine it's a great money making scheme" with basing all your calculations on selling them by the dimebag. Who's going to move that, you? That's 100 transactions per one plant. Each time you sell a dimebag you are risking getting caught. You have to actually know someone to buy that which if you're thinking of doing even just 12 plants with a decent outcome of 6 good female plants that's six hundred transactions you will have to be doing, and like I said about time is money when you break down the amount of time wasted trying to sell it you're ultimately making a low end wagie income.

Now, maybe you did sell drugs before or know people who do, Idk. But point here is, people that actually hold weight don't try and sell it by dimes themselves. Just look at Breaking Bad. Very good Hollywood portrayal of people who don't know what they're doing trying to do that. You're going to need to sell 1/8ths and quarters (3.5g and 7g not sure equivalent to euros) which are going to cost less as you climb towards wholesale prices thus eating into your imagined margins. You're otherwise likely to need a crew to offload it individually like that per the gram, and that also costs money. Like nobody actually gets several kilos of weed and sells them individually by the gram themselves and you're just begging to be caught at that point especially as you're the guy selling and producing and quickly will go on popo radar.

My entire point of this is, whatever you imagine yourself to be making growing weed, now cut it in half and that's a more likely good case scenario for how much money you're going to make. Without a good warehouse or field to grow lots of it it's effectively just a super high risk adjunct to your real income stream and this largely is going to align with any other illegal drug stuff. By the time you'd start making actual money you'd be in territory of definitely being caught and going to jail and being robbed on the street and having rival narcos pissed off which in Germany idk if it is Turks or Ndrangheta or whomever more into weed, but you will certainly catch their and LEO attention at the point of making real money by moving serious weight.

So my advice goes back to the same: don't deal drugs unless you're some narco with CIA backing. Get a real job instead.

For the first time in possibly my life, I have written something that made me cry while reading through it again.

I don't know if it's good or bad.

I spent most of yesterday asleep after having slept only four hours during the night.
It was really depressive.
Also went to the paper store. They recognised me so I didn't have to actually re-buy the stuff I forgot there last Friday.
Immediately went back to sleep. Really, I felt like I need to renew myself a bit so I shaved off my moustache and gave my hair a long overdue wash. Or three because I felt filthy.
My hair hasn't been this silky-smooth in a long time if ever. It's almost fluffy. Really, I look so good I could go on a date like this.

Today was okay, watched some lecture recordings and also studied some Chinese.
Also wrote a short text in Chinese for tomorrow's class.
I'm feeling a lot better now.

Everything has been so good.
Thank you God.

Anyone here own a farm? Was thinking of owning one as a business but not sure what will make money.

Was thinking of a sheep ranch but I doubt this will make money in USA.

>>54406
>>54407
Can only speak for Germany, not the USA, so I don't think it can be compared, but in Germany nowadays if you want to actually make a living with animal farming as your main source of income and not just have it as a sort of hobby you usually have to find a niché that works, because otherwise you would have to compete with both national and international industry which is impossible for a small farmer.
This can be to build up a stock of regional customers (or certain stores, companies etc.) who appreciate your type of traditional agriculture or handcraft in making products ( or an "ecological" way to produce or a less cruel one or having a special quality (e. g. rare breeds of animals etc.), providing an atmossphere, having a sort of open farm for visitors etc. Anything which justifies higher prices to the buyers of the produced goods really. Or cooperations with other local business like having some local tailors buy the wool for handmade sweaters and such.

With sheep some people here also provide landscape maintenance.

>>54380

>Also went to the paper store. They recognised me...

I take it you went back before you adopted your new moustache-less look :D

>>54406
I grew up on one and fucking lol no it is not going to make you money unless by "farm" what you actually mean is coca plantation in Panama. I mean if you don't use any chemicals anything you produce will be superior to the stores but it's still going to be one of the most labor intensive things which you can do. It's basically just a hobby with some side money to recoup costs unless you're some huge agribiz making garbage. As a result I think all water tastes like shit and is full of poison because I grew up on a well and I absolutely refuse to buy those horrific concentration camp eggs they sell for $1.99 because also tastes like a shit, look like a shit, is a shit.

>but how do you know lol it's just eggs

I buy $5 eggs exclusively because while still subpar it's the closest I can get to a real egg. Real eggs are a vivid bright orange yolk, they're not runny, they taste rich. There is a world of difference between supermarket trasheggs and superior farm egg. You can literally see and taste it being inside a chicken's cloaca a few days ago, and couple weeks before that being some bugs in the lawn.

So my advice to you is never start a farm unless you want to work a tedious second job and/or hobby that forces you to be up at dawn. The real reward however is not financial, but rather tasting eggs every morning the way that storeclerk in Fight Club tasted his breakfast. You will know a higher quality than any hipster eating off slabs of slate rock has ever known, from your vegetables to your eggs to your milk to your meat. You will not reap financial rewards from your operation, but you will eat better than 90% of America, and that's what we both know is the most important thing to life: food

>>54417
Sadly facial hair doesn't seem to matter when you have a mask on. At least until you reach Budyonniy tier sizes.

>that pic

Not funny.Okay, maybe it's funny.

>>54419
Is there any way, via voting, that people can weaken these agribusiness tycoons? I know such a thing was possible in the past (as with Rockefeller's Standard Oil) but they can find a way around that. We should do this with big tech as well now that I think about it.

>>54421
Uh er no, there isn't actually. That's just basic facts of murican life. It's so sad and fucked up, actually my dad couldn't even legally sell his produce as "organic" despite the fact he literally used zero chemicals at any point of the process, because it requires paying thousands of dollars for registration to become "organic" and get that ApprovedTM "organic" label which is despite the fact that you literally can use a bunch of different chemicals, pesticides, and fertilizers among other things provided you basically just paid the fee. So in effect all these labels have done is become a legal weapon of the major agricorps against real farmers who can lean on the State to sue your ass for using unregistered produce with that label which only they are allowed to use ultimately unless you want to take a big enough hit on your farm to get such a label every year you'd be in the red.

So that is also something you have to expect when you register your farm as a business. All any regulation tends to do is bolster the hold of the megacorps because it's all about money. If you want to change things you literally have to take money out of politics. The solution? It literally is banning lobbying. That's the only way you can do anything about our situation. You either have to take a firm grip of steel or reduce it to zero regulations muh free markets which is a race you are going to lose as a smalltimer when facing them unrestrained also.

>>54424
So ehm.. how would we get rid of the lobbying? I don't think politicians would like that in particular, but is it possible?

wait a sec, gender IS a social construct. the whole concept of gender.
which means the LGBT community is just a subculture.
being a goth or hipster is equivalent to being "nonbinary" and "genderfluid".
Those aren't "sexualities", but identities.

throughout many cultures, sexual acts of various kinds were associated with different genders than today. including fucking ass being straight, or eating minge being gay.

so those genders don't actually have any more validity than any other culture.
they aren't "revealing suppressed genders/sexualities" (since being social constructs, they didn't exist before this particular society did), they're inventing an identity and using it to seize social power.

>>54434
We had that in the last thread already at length,just leave it be.

>>54435
And discussions about the LGBT community famously happen only once in every imageboard.

>>54436
It was pure shit flinging, you know that and you know that we don't like that here (too often).

>>54441
Yes of course. I was just messing with you.

My gym can go fuck itself.
Keeps closing down without warning, wasting my subscription money.

I FUCKING HATE FEDEX SO GODDAMNED MUCH

I have never not even once had a good experience with them meanwhile they make sure to ship out all call center shit including supervisors to unhelpful pajeets. I WORK YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKERS. It's going to end up being a full fucking goddamned week late and I already was fucking pissed off because not just a second thing wasn't delivered today but I also just found out the fucking retards shipping my HOTAS pushed the fucking goddamn cocksucking date back to fucking June. I asked them about it before work this morning and they said it was a manufacturing backorder so then WHY IN THE FUCK did you let me pay you three hundred fucking dollars on nearly a month backorder??? Why the fuck even list the date it would ship on backorder at fucking all. They said well it's not our fault it's the obviously fucking Chinese plant which I fucking told them begs the question if they can't uphold their commitment and push it back from first week of May to mid June then how the fuck am I supposed to know or trust them not to just fucking tell me now I have to wait until July?! The sole fucking reason I didn't cancel right then and there is I was about to leave for work and didn't have time to line anything else up to order that might actually get here at some point in the next month. Now on fucking top of that thinking I'd save a few dollars going with them instead of newegg it's probably going to cost me a full fuckign cocksucking cunt tickling hundred cockfucker dollads extra just to get it this fucking month than had I just fucking bought it weeks ago at a markup because now apparently all the prices are sky fucking high and there's not a single goddamn way I've got any intentikns at fucking ALL to wait two solid fucking months after letting them have close to three hundred of my dollars.

YES I AM VERY MAD TODAY

You know what I do not need to be so completely buttdevestated about it today, in spite of the fact not one but TWO separate fucking packages already was over two days latealthough between the two USPS is understandable and far, far more helpful than the dead end phonetrees and pajeets and no Sat. delivery and overall uselessness of FedExprivatization was a mistake I freely admit that now because in all objective fact I have no reason at all to fucking support this company after seeing this shit

https://tinyurl.com/df7pahrs
I mean just LOOK at this fucking bullshit
https://tinyurl.com/286ukcfn
https://archive.is/wip/O6I4R
that is an outright Chinese tier scam. I simply jumped on what I found to be the cheapest, within reason HOTAS prices and figured I could tolerate the wait. Had I known about this and actually looked around their site more I'd likely not have trusted them and simply bought it somewhere else.

>a fucking Quadro P400 2GB is "standard"
>a fucking Radeon Pro WX 7100 8GB is apparently a "deluxe" damn near $3,000 gaming PC
>they didn't even fucking bother to tell you which i5 processor it was

It's literally the absolute worst prebuilt configuration I have ever seen in my entire life for that kind of money. It's like, they market themselves an aviation sporting store and not computer yeah I get that but just Jesus fucking Christ. Fuck it I'm canceling the fuck out of that and just going through eBay, which I hate, and which has delivered me exactly one out of half a dozen good deals, all the other ones either being late, Chinese scams, or not reading the fine print on broken unuseable crap.

>Have to write 6 essays on Korean art
>I don't actually care about Korea

I don't know, it's like Bosnia. I know it exists, I know a few things about it but it doesn't peak my interest, passion or curiosity at all no matter what I do. But I guess doing busywork like this is part and parcel of getting a higher education.
I try to be open minded, but I just don't give a shit about Korean culture. Don't know if this is a crime or is losing me intellectual cred, but I'm just not feeling it, man.

I should go to bed. Wrote two out of the six pieces. Tomorrow I'll need to do some reading for the next two so that I don't work on this shit until the last minute.
Not to mention staying up late does a number on me mentally, and if I sleep little, I feel unloved and depressed.

I am trying very fucking hard to be patient with these people
I have never seen such an epic clusterfuck before in my life it's listed as redelivery scheduled for two days ago and now I can't change the website or get ahold of anyone what the actual fuck are these people even doing

>>54460
You are learning chinese right?
So a country that is so closely interconnected with china should also be interesting to you?

I for example find the korean village guardian totem poles to be highly interesting.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jangseung

This wasn't only in my head. The girl was also looking at me in secret. It's completely meaningless though, I don't want to do anything about it.

>>54468
I feel like it's tangentially related to my interest in China and Japan. It's the sinosphere all right, but I feel like the course is poorly integrated into the structure of the degree and is more of an excuse to have the Korean department do shit.
It's held by the head of the Korean Department, and while she's very enthusiastic and produced fuckloads of papers on the topic, I'm just not into it, and her insistence on focusing on the "uniqueness" of Korean art further ruins any integration.
And in retrospect as a student of the Chinese department I feel a bit betrayed, because when she held the lectures on China, she was visibly not into it and just did whatever she could to get over it. For example, we only had to produce one essay instead of SIX on Chinese art. Japanese art classes were held by a different lecturer, she asked for 3 500 word texts on three images that were pre-selected for us. That was actually fun compared to this, because while I dreaded it, I actually encountered interesting pieces of art that I actually had to dig deep to find stuff out about, it actually expanded my horizons a bit, especially the Japanese architecture piece about a contemporary museum bridge.

I pissed somebody off today. I said that one of our theater costumes looked "super gay" and my expression didn't pleased someone and she tried to explain me why clothes had nothing to do with sexuality. And I disagreed, because I love pretending to be smart why pissing off people. I answered that somebody could completely look gay, because homosexuality has been incarnated in a lot of (counter-)cultural movements that had some dress code. Our argument caught the attention of a lot people in the lodges. I hope I didn't looked too much like a absolute dick.

I play a cool samurai in this play. Also, during a fight scene today, a comedian actually hit the other in the nose and bleeding ensued, but the scene did go on.

Have been away from IBs and social media since NYE, but for some reason tonight I typed ernstchan url out of habit and here am I again.

Also started nostalgia binging X-Files earlier this week, todays episode was ”Ghost in the Machine”, so maybe I subconsciously remembered all the great discussions about AI on ernst in particular.

How you’ve all been?

>>54500

>I play a cool samurai in this play.

Intredasting, are you a professional actor or is it just some amateur production?

>she tried to explain me why clothes had nothing to do with sexuality

Shouldn't have gotten into an argument. Just show her any of the Tom of Finland pictures instead and enjoy the thermonuclear butthurt. XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

>>54501

>Also started nostalgia binging X-Files

Great show, my brother gifted me the complete series on DVD one Christmas. I haven't watched it in a while, but I'm reading the "Gideon Falls" comic book, and there's a character just like Scully. She's a law enforcement officer, and refuses to believe in the supernatural craziness even after experiencing it. She also has a sort-of partner who believes. I guess that's a useful device for the writer to tell a story, and create conflict, to have one character on each side of the argument. But Mulder and Scully did it best. Also, they usually made sure Scully had an out, the proof wasn't 100% right in front of her eyes. She did mysteriously get pregnant though, don't recall how she explained that away.

>>54500

>I hope I didn't looked too much like a absolute dick.

Arguing about certain emotionally charged topics is guaranteed to make you look like a dick. It's worst when you are right, because then people will hate you because you made them look bad / hurt their feelings and will associate that bad feeling with you. And in this situation, where that woman chose to openly confront you with a different opinion, you can bet this was a topic of high importance for her, because otherwise she wouldn't have bothered to seek controntation.

Still, I believe that sometimes it's better to double down in a situation like this. Better to look like a dick with an opinion than looking like an overly agreeable softie who can't handle conflict.

>>54501

>but for some reason tonight I typed ernstchan url out of habit and here am I again.

You can leave EC, but EC never leaves you. Take this reindoctrination gif to help you settle in again.

>>54505
Sweet OC, fuggen saved!

Ha, this remind me of that Russian stort on Casey about the petoohs and man with three dot tattoos on his lips after snitching twice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ge_LLJB0WDQ

>>54502

>Intredasting, are you a professional actor or is it just some amateur production?

It's an amateur production. It's a "children" theater group with people age-ranging between 4-5yo to early 20s and we are around 100 members. But we did some really cool shit over the years and all of our plays had incredible standards, professional lightning, costumes and accessories. What we do is mostly corporal and contemporary with story elements to it. In the coming play though, we will have to wear face masks on stage lol.

It's been ten years I play with this troup, everybody more or less knows knows each other. It took me a while to integrate to it because everybody knew eachother through school, friendship or relative and I had none of that. Now I'm part of the elder ones and I have important roles. I will probably quit next year because I don't want to be the eldest on the troup. I'll probably join another club for adults. But it affects me a lot to think that I will probably not see again most of those people I've seen grow each weeks or years and I learned to know. It's like I had to say goodbye to part of myself forever.

Pics are from two of our plays.

>>54507

>because then people will hate you because you made them look bad / hurt their feelings

Yes, I tend to have a strategy on that issue. It works pretty well IRL most of the time. If you want to convince people, wich I vastly perfer over complete intellectual domination, you really have to tell people they are right or had the right intuition and then explain them your opinion why making them think it's theirs. I don't think it's a new strategy at all, but I must say I tend to do this pretty well. I just panicked yesterday because the first strategy of my detractor was to alienate me from the other people around. So, if I wanted to prove her I was right, I would have had to alienate her from the audience she invoked. Wich I didn't really want to.

I'm doing the last Korean art essay. The biggest issue is finding a piece of contemporary art I'm comfortable with writing about. But I'm going to be able to hand it in on time. Just another 400-500 words on a painting.

I felt really stressed so I tried smoking again. Basically I knew my mother had a packet of cigarettes stashed away somewhere, so I just asked here for one and she said she gifted it away. But my sister has a pack.For some fucking reason.So after midnight as she was doing something in the kitchen I asked her for one and got one, though she found it weird that I'd ask her for a single cigarette instead of just buying a pack myself, since I'm old enough to buy anything at this point.
Really, it's terrible. Couldn't even finish it. I smell like shit now and I don't feel more relaxed one bit. I've washed my teeth and used mouthwash but the fucking taste is still lingering in my mouth.
To summarise it I managed to act like a fucking teenager.

Yesterday was mothers' day. My sister told me to make myself useful and buy a bottle of wine for mum. She could have done it herself it not for the fact that they wouldn't sell her the wine. So within the day I used my ID to get her something she wouldn't have been able to buy only to later that day ask for something she has that she wouldn't be able to buy. Kinda ironic.
I got her a bottle of wine, my sister painted something onto a canvas. (So it's a proper big-boy painting and not just some random piece of paper. It's hanging on the wall now.)

Also went over to grandma's. She's doing well. She had both jabs so it's no longer a gamble to visit her. That's one less thing to worry about, honestly.
I've been thinking about registering for the jab too, but I'm not so sure. I probably should since I suspect that I'll have to be vaccinated to attend university in person, so the summer break is ideal to get it done if I really have to.

>>54536

>cigarette story

:DDDD

I haven't smoked in a few weeks now. Since I moved I know barely anyone who smokes. I think about it more often, just a few months ago I smoked at least every once in a while, out of habit and relaxation and tbh now I want one. I mean it doesn't taste good, but it mostly did tbh.

Mothers day is on sunday, I will just call and her in two weeks I will drive home anyway and make a visit so then I can bring her some fancy and expensive chocolate.

>>54537
How are you faring with cravings and such?
My gf stopped smoking around the first lockdown and while she admitted she has felt cravings from time to time, she hasn't taken it up again. She has been an avid smoker for almost 20 years and I am really proud of her.

Lockdown is harsh. A feller has a lot of free time.

I found myself joining the Portuguese Workers' Communist Party/Re-Organized Movement of the Party of the Proletariat. That's PCTP-MRPP for short, a loony Maoist party. In the 70s they had a great deal of cultural impact, but have drifted off into obscurity.
Even the former President of the European Commission Durão Barroso was deeply actually involved in this party during his student years - when they were hip.

Their only notable stunt in recent history was putting up "Death to Traitors" posters in 2015. Garcia Pereira - the man heading this campaign would be later excommunicated from the party on accusations of being social-fascist and stealing party money.
The party was led by its main theorist Arnaldo de Matos - "The Leader and Teacher of the Portuguese Proletariat". The party's history is full of hilarious misadventures - the most notable incident being them trying to travel to China via trying to board the same flight as a committee of another commie party that was invited by the Chinese Government. This diplomatic gatecrashing ended up the PCTP-MRPP members being sent home after being stuck in the airport for a couple of days - and returning with written papers describing Chinese Socialism.

The great mind of the party - This Arnaldo Matos character died recently, but he lived long enough so that he would have time to post deranged boomer twitter posts in extremely colorful language denouncing 'George Soros and his BLM project', using racial slurs to describe the sitting prime minister and describing the death of a construction worker at a worksite as 'another death of the class war'.

The party is in shambles, being currently led by the woman who used to fuck him because I assume she is now the main theorist in Arnaldist thought and her authority is unquestionable. Their youth group runs bizarre skype meetings that have every formality of an All Extraordinary Congress of the Soviets - Complete with a ceremonial remembering of the great thinker Arnaldo de Matos.
I had fun pretending to be on board with the coming class war, meeting with an anti-party group that hated the sitting central committee who operated in fear of these seniles, but in the end it got boring, so I stopped being involved.

After about a month of not engaging with these characters, one of them messages me. I tell him I wasn't feeling so on board with the party, he asks me why. I tell him that there's personality cult and the party just sits around masturbating over theory. He tells me how serious my accusations are and reminds me that I'm "speaking to a member of the central committee" with the authority that I'm sure this title carried in the nomenklatura of the Soviet Union.

>>54539

>and while she admitted she has felt cravings from time to time, she hasn't taken it up again.

This is really the same for me atm. I've been smoking for 12/13 years, the last years were kinda casual with a maximum of 2-3 weeks of taking a break and then usually smoke at least one cig. But since all my friends from where I lived before are smokers, I usually smoked as well when hanging around, so I finished up a pack of tobacco in 2 months or so. Right now I think more about it and I will definitely smoke a cig again soon. But a cigarette or more once in a while should be ok. Right now my pack of tobacco is about 4 months old and not empty, I also have a pack of cigs here because somebody forgot it and my roommate stopped smoking. So while I have mild cravings I'm quite disciplined, surprisingly. But as I said, I haven't had my last cig.

>>54542
Did you join for actual political reasons or to obtain some kind of entertainment provided by a leftist cult falling apart?

>>54547
For fun, I'm wholly glad these lunatics have zero power whatsoever.

>>54542
How is it different than a fascist movement? It sounds a lot like a MAGA clique too if you removed some of the terms.

>>54554
By not being a fascist movement.

>>54550
Excellent, I support this to the fullest. Please report all hilarious habbenings to your Ernstbros.

>>54554

>How is it different than a fascist movement?

I don't see the connection, other than it also being for a totalitarian regime.

>>54560
It basically sounds the same to me. If you just switched the terms I wouldn't have noticed.

>>54562
Here is a useful description of what fascism is and how to identify it (and how not to confuse it with other things).

>>54571

>There is in our future a TV or Internet populism, in which the emotional response of a selected group of citizens can be presented and accepted as the Voice of the People.

My fucking god, this is a description of Pepe the frog becoming a symbol for the alt-right. Written in 1995.
Reading this PDF makes my brain light up like very few political or philosophical texts manage to do.

>>54573
Doesn't this apply to all kinds of media-hyped happenings? #aufschrei and other assorted twitter bullshit, "Wir schaffen das", and so on. Whoever screams loudest.

>>54574
Same could be said of twitter blue check marks representing "public opinion" despite being less than 1% of the population.
Social media is inherently anti-egalitarian because it is specifically designed to amplify certain voices. In comparison to classical forums where everyone gets their equal share of 15 minutes on the soapbox

>>54574
Yes, but Pepe is the most approachable in my eyes. Almost like a jungian archetype of memes for representing a spectrum of the feelings of a group of people otherwise incapable of putting their emotional state into words apart from anger.

>>54571
One should note that, albeit famous, this is only one definition of fascism and that it is a somewhat slippery term:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Definitions_of_fascism

>>54573
Actually, I don't get how this applies at all.
Alt right is a dead movement that has been, is, and will be unpopular. Its only role in public discourse is to be a laughing stock.
How is pepe relevant here? Pepe was used and is still used by a wide variety of people outside of political context, even normies on twitch use it as emoticons.

Even though I'm a leftist, I still have to say that it is woke neoliberals who have the most undue public influence, not fascists. Stuff like woke activists taking up important spaces in various movements by sheer bullying is the greatest example of the loud silencing the majority.

I don't get why I, as a leftist, should cozy up to neoliberals just because we share the same ideological, sentimental values as the current "fashion" under capitalism.
I'm sorry, but a capitalist poc is still a capitalist, and a capitalist LGBT+ is still a capitalist. Economics > ideology every time.

Capital, as we know, is capable of assimilating and profiting off of any ideology. So why should we, as Marxists, align yourself with neoliberals just because they promise equality, as long as promising gives them profit, when we know that communism guarantees equality, because, after all, being dictates consciousness.

>>54577
Huh? I don't read the pdf as trying to define fascism. He starts out discussing why fascism can't be defined and then gives 14 features that are appear repeatedly and thus serve as identifiers. Every single one can be a seed around which some form of fascism can grow.

>>54578
I think you misinterpret something here. Nobody said that fascism is the biggest danger lurking in the shadows.

I wouldn't describe myself as a leftist anymore but I, too, see the neo liberal agenda and how it is entangled with pretty much all mainstream narratives, as the largest antagonist to ... basically everything.

>>54573

>Written in 1995.

Some 90s theory can be very interesting for the present. Since I plow through 1980s West German history atm, it is no coincidence that this gets taken up by some younger scholars today, as the topics and conflicts still seem to resemble certain forms today. The New Right made its way in the 70s and got bigger in the 80s, you can trace, if you want, the present there. Of course, there is no direct line. The 1980s after all could be seen as the great backlash, though we have might identity issues that still garner much attention (btw. this is not a left thing, it is very much a thing of the right as well, the Identitäre Bewegung has it in its name. The culture war started in the 1980s) the progressive years as in social wealth fare and all that has been reduced since the 1980s, so while we might have turkish or kurdish people who have higher party ranks for example or the Biontech owner who represents that even minorities can be middle class etc, capitalism is capitalism >>54579 and for most people, the reality is another one.

I have been summoned by a member of the central committee to discuss the future of the party. Perhaps I'll be subjected to a struggle session, in which I'll be shown the error of my revisionist ways.

If I don't have an after action report back here by the weekend, I'll have perished in the great revolutionary leap forward of the Portuguese proletariat.

>>54576
Pepe is the normies though. It is the absolute internet version of the normalfag listening to Rush Limbaugh and AM radio. The same happened when the normalfag cancer that took over and ruined 4chan years ago also took our wojak and ruined it and turned it into some normalfag shit. Trying to call it "the voice of the people" is retarded as saying that about Beyonce using some emoji, all the moreso that people like Steve Bannon and Fox operatives hijacked and coopted 4chan.

>>54581
Neoliberalism=globalism=international Capitalism and its world order just fyi

I just learned that over 50% of the first years studying Chinese like me failed last semester.
Is there a word for the feeling when you were in intense danger and only realised it way after the fact? (Though the danger was only statistical, I actually studied.)
Holy shit, 50%. That's one great filter.

Exams are coming up again in a week. There's much to be done.
Concluding those, I've finished my first year of university.
My experience so far is that if you have no shame, you will get thrown out pretty quickly.
As in, university lecturers are never mad if you're late with turning stuff in, they just want it turned in before the end of the semester, but if the time comes, they'll fail you mercilessly.
So instead of the constant nagging of a high school teacher, it's up to your internal lust for knowledge and your shame to motivate you.

I'm so glad I finished the Korean art project. The last two of the six pictures were actually kinda cool, and I'd hang them if I had prints of them.
Though I'm glad I only had to make a visual reproduction of the "free choice" image and not all of the six I had to write on. My drawing skills have not improved at all.
Kinda wanna expand my knowledge of Chinese art more now. The classes weren't really in-depth and I don't feel like I've learned anything sadly.

I fell asleep after a very late lunch. I also did some of my sister's chores so she could study for her English exam.
I'm not feeling as tired as a few days ago. I no longer go back to sleep for "just five more minutes", which is good.
I've taken up this habit of pressing the snooze button on my phone and sleeping an extra hour in 10 minute segments because it just feel good to lay in bed.
Sometimes I think it'd be great to spend an entire day in bed doing nothing.

>>54603

>I've taken up this habit of pressing the snooze button on my phone and sleeping an extra hour in 10 minute segments because it just feel good to lay in bed.

Please don't do this, it's a horrible habit.
t. does it

I've been very pretty happy and things have been going strangely well, every aspect of my life has significantly improved in the last year.

I can't however stop feeling that it's all a temporary thing, and soon all I have achieved will be taken from me. I'll return to bottom of the barrel and I'll cry for what I've lost.

At least it gives me some baseline anxiety to drive me to action.

>>54550
I've been following the Hungarian Workers' Party online for similar reasons. They do write stuff I agree with sometimes, but often their officialism and larping as a powerful Central Committee that "Demands" the government do such and such reform is amusing.
They claim to be Marxist-Leninists and have continuation with the MSZMP, but at this point they're essentially nazbolgang, which is very weird to see.

Getting status mogged at my new gym.
This place is too fancy for the likes of me.

>>54612
Ach Bernd, just lift more than them.
Then you just need to lock eyes.

>>54606
nothing to add

t. did it like that, now it's 20-30min in smaller intervals

Shopping day.
Lol

My new passport arrived in the mail today; I'm now free to leave the country. Should I land in your nation, please be aware that the Secretary of State has hereby reqested that I be permitted to pass-without delay or hinderance- and in case of need, be given all lawful aid and protection. Lol, I love that diplomatic language.

I'm not actually going anywhere, but I needed this for domestic flights. My drivers license doesn't meet some "Real ID" security standards established in the years following 9/11. So I could either renew my license early, and get one which meets those standards, or I could renew my expired passport. I chose the latter, because I would still need a passport to get into Canada or Mexico. They don't let us just stroll across the borders without questions anymore. While I probably won't go to either country anytime soon, I like knowing that I have access to the full North American continent.

>>54621
While seeing a shopping cart in a restroom is noteworthy, I'm equally amazed at the cleanliness of that stall. D-do they polish the toilet paper dispenser? The gentleman who drew that chore clearly takes pride in his work.

>>54646
Wait what the fuck are you shitting me? Since when the fuck I need a passport for domestic flights? Flying is literally the one thing I've been looking forward to when corona is over because I don't drink or hookup anymore and the theaters suck.

>>54647
You only need a passport for domestic flights if your state-issued license doesn't have the "Real ID" stamp. Some do, some don't...ok, nevermind. At the end of April they postponed the regulation until 2023:

Real ID requirement for air travel delayed amid pandemic-related lag at motor vehicle branches
https://www.washingtonpost.com/transportation/2021/04/27/real-id-extension/

Lol, they changed the rules after I already mailed in my passport forms. So no worries, ernst; you're still free to fly.

>>54651
Yeah free to fly whenever I hopefully get fully vaccinated after this month. Like I get it, it's uncomfortable, but if I can wear a mask for 8 hours at work so can you is my attitude and besides which lung, heart, kidney, and testicular damage also is uncomfortable. So yeah I'm free to fly the second I am going to be free of these bug chasing coofer bydlo. I don't ask for much in life all I want to do is be left alone and play videogames and not getting coofed onalso not feeling like in police state and maybe Jewish gf someday

>>54606
This is a great photo.

>>54646
It's just the bathroom of the local mall and supermarket.

I mean, it's a real establishment so I'd expect it to be clean, I don't see what's so surprising.
Like, is a clean bathroom a noteworthy sight in america? What?

>>54656

>is a clean bathroom a noteworthy sight in america?

Sadly, yes. I've never seen one that approaches "The worst toilet in Scotland", but I've also never seen a public bathroom that was truly clean. Supermarkets, restaurants, department stores-all awful. And something-a sink, a hand dryer, a soap dispenser-is always broken. I will say that the degree of filth does vary, with gas stations being the worst, and malls being the best.

>>54657
OK, just for your pleasure, here's a photo of me drinking in a bathroom.
Construction material supermarket bathroom where I bought a toilet bowl for the house I'm renovating.

>>54658
You know, getting drunk off cheap bear in a Kazakhstan supermarket bathroom seems far more decent than what I imagined it.

>>54657
This is not true. I've seen plenty of clean enough gas station bathrooms maybe owing to fighting the stereotype. The worst bathrooms in America are Walmart hands down. Like that urinal with the giant piss filled trash bag we've seen online? Guarantee you that was Walmart.

>>54658
You changed brand?

>>54658

>where I bought a toilet bowl for the house I'm renovating.

Cool. As you renovate, remember the builder's mantra: "Do your best, and caulk the rest" :DDD

>>54661

>The worst bathrooms in America are Walmart hands down

The last time I tried to-reluctantly- access a Walmart bathroom, it was closed due to Covid. Probably for the best. They are not pleasant. The absolute worst I've ever seen-on a systemic scale, not just a one-off bad experience- were in NYC public transit stations. Dear Lord those were awful.

Re: gas stations, I must be going to the wrong places. Even the indoor ones I've seen have been bad, not just the ones you enter from outside. To be fair, there may be a selection bias on my part. I never visit the local ones, as I'm near enough to home, but only resort to them when I find myself on the highway.

>>54657

>gas stations

Here gas stations hand out keys (thus they are not public but closed) if you need to go in most cases I've gotten hold off so far. Gas station toilettes along the Autobahn are run by Sanifair, they usually cost 0.5€ and you get it back as a coupon to spend it at the overpriced mini-supermarket that is in the gas station, you always have to pay extra though, since no edible item for less than 0.5€ can be found. But there are rest stops (pic related) that only have toilettes and no gas station, these usually smell like somebody urinated all over the place (especially the old ones, newer building types exist). Never took a shit there, but using the urinals is acceptable.

>>54663
I drink whatever's available as long as its strong and cheap enough.
It all tastes like piss anyway

>>54665
Public sanitation situation is a joke in Germany tbh

>>54686
Because it's bad or costs money? I've seen rather dirty but also many good/acceptable public or semi-public restrooms.

>>54687
Both. Mostly because in a lot of public places there aren't any free public toilets at all and if there are they aren't cleaned well or they are randomly locked all the time etc.

Yoruba - English
Oṣumare = Rainbow
Awọsanma = Cloud
Keriko = Grass
Omi = Water
Eye = Bird
Akan = Soul

>>54688
Who cares? If there are bushes I use bushes, in the city I just piss on walls because fuck cities and everyone living there.

I did my play to a public yesterday. Everything went very well and I am fully satisfied of my performance.

We then went drink a beer with the crew after the last representation and I drank 2-3 more than I should have and ridiculed myself a bit. I managed to discuss with my crush and I wanted to make her read the society of the spectacle by Guy Debord she seemed interested and I think about offering her the book and write some funny thing on the first page. Then, a friend invited me and another guy of our team to party somewhere in the swisswise big city.

I went to our meeting spot 10 minutes earlier. But I was not in the right place, I was standing alone next to the alternative NEET youth party spot. So, after a moment, one of the guy got tired of seeing me alone and invited to dance and smoke with them, so did I. But I didn't stay for very long because the rumor of som cops being aroud dissipated the party. I then went to the right spot and met my friends. I met other strange people during the night, a russiann guy who asked me if I was a Jew and only talked to me about how jews made him laugh, and another guy who really wanted to have segs with me, I politely declined his offers. Also another guy from the theater whom I hadn't talked to for a very long time.

While going to sleep, I crossed the way of three Italian guys and one shouted: "Godard! Le chef-d'oeuvre de Godard!". We stopped and I explained to them my theory of the individual, they disagreed and we went our separate ways.

>>54692

>I did my play to a public yesterday. Everything went very well and I am fully satisfied of my performance.

Cool. What was it about?

>russiann guy who asked me if I was a Jew and only talked to me about how jews made him laugh,

Why would a stranger just as about your ethnicity? Did you look stereotypically Jewish?

>Godard! Le chef-d'oeuvre de Godard!". We stopped and I explained to them my theory of the individual, they disagreed and we went our separate ways

he called it a masterpiece but they disagreed with it?

Korean style fashion and makeup is becoming popular here among the youth.
I hate it.

>>54697
K-Pop is going strong as far as I know. But Korean Fashion can be quite good, but maybe we mean different things. The image in my head is Asian male and female in minimalistic, Bauhaus-like clothing. Basically, they do the 90s thing like every youth on earth right now.

>>54696

>Cool. What was it about?

It's about Japan

>Why would a stranger just as about your ethnicity? Did you look stereotypically Jewish?

He was playing jewish music on his speakers. I'm not jewish nor do I have any of the stereotypical characteristic of a jew, I think he was just a strange man.

>he called it a masterpiece but they disagreed with it?

They just were screaming about Godard, maybe because they were artists, maybe because they learned a french sentence and were mocking it. But we talked about a very different topic. The nature of the individual. And we disagreed on what it was.

>>54698
We are talking about slightly different things here. You are judging the fashion by its aesthetic merits, which is perfectly fine. It's a matter of taste, but I guess it does look hip.

What I'm talking about is that it looks generic. It is clear that the person watched a bunch of YouTube or Instagram tutorials, and copied the results, instead of coming up with their own style.
Everything becomes cheap and banal once it is commodified.

If this were the 2000s, they'd be wearing butterfly sunglasses with blue jeans, which was peak of Asian fashion at the time, but now looks lame.

Guess what bothers me is trends so easily influencing wide swathes of people, disproving the notion of personal agency.

Just a few years ago it was big fake glasses + long coats and pants tucked into street boots, but you don't see that any more either.

How am I supposed to treat people as autonomous, conscious being when they act in such a deterministic manner?

>>54701
Trends have always existed. Followers have always existed. Why do all the work yourself when you can pick something already made?
Are you an alien trying to understand humans?

>>54701

>How am I supposed to treat people as autonomous, conscious being when they act in such a deterministic manner?

You don't. Nobody is autonomous and most people very rarely get in a conscious state. I know I don't for a good portion of my living time.

>>54702
Because widely repeated ideas entertain the first time, bore the next few times you see them, and become annoying after that.

Life is like a big stage where everyone is a performer, except the majority seems to be doing the exact same bit they copied from somewhere else. A very boring viewing.
Or a gallery where 90% of paintings are a variation on the Mona Lisa. Yawn.

Now, most people here dress even worse than cliche, they don't have a fashion sense at all. But what gets me about the "fashionable" people is that they put in deliberate effort to look generic.

Being reducible to a stereotype makes one redundant as an entity.

>>54704
Sounds like you're struggling to cope with the fact you're not special.

>>54665
Y'know, I was extra butthurt about Germans having the audacity to charge people for using a piss station on the autobahn, but then I had a doctor's appointment not that long ago, and literally I could not find more than a single place that would let me piss in two separate cities. I had to piss twice and it fucking hurt and the one place I slipped in just because they were closed and had a door open for deliveries and didn't notice me. I always hated these cities one in particular but on that day I swore especially this one place where I could literally see the bathroom sign behind the woman who told me "no we don't have any bathrooms" that I would find a way to get rich and level these fucking buildings into the dirt and erect public pissing stations on top of the rubble. So, Germany still is not as shit as Americans with their American businesses in their American cities with their no bathrooms. Out of all the places I checked out the sole one that let me piss was a Mexican cafe. I have concluded Americans are awful people based on that alone. Pissing is a human right and we ain't free until every man can take a piss without fear of arrest because

>well why didn't you just piss behind a dumpster or an alleyway

because there were cameras around and it was daylight and if I got caught I'd be arrested with criminal charges and labeled a sex offender for indecent exposure if I got caught pissing behind anybody's dumpsters.
So congrats. I hate you less than our cities now. The sole reliable piss hole is Walmart and like said, it's horrible and requires sanitizing your shoes before you get in the car.

>>54688
I would have paid fucking cash to piss that day my lad. In point of fact the hostess who showed me to the bathroom at that Mexican kafe I gave her a $5 tip I was so appreciative for getting to piss after wandering around holding it for over half an hour in pain.

>>54705
I am though. I'm literally the protagonist of reality from my own perspective.
You seem to be projecting.

>>54703
Well that's their problem tbh

>>54704
a good look can be pulled by buying a few items that fit right, there is, however, a certain sense necessary to be fashionable, to combine so thoroughly with what you have and can have, and to give an outfit a special twist. You can pull a style good and acceptable, presentable or very special. Also, fashion is about confidence. You can look good in something that seems hilarious or offbeat, when you still act like you did this as cool shit on purpose it can work. Keep in mind there are limits to that. I cringe when I see 2000s fashion but some items where good, and the 2000s will be in fashion again, not everything but certain items. I hope women will wear high-waisted pants and jeans forever though. Maybe the remix culture makes it a bit less trend-ridden than the years before.
I think autonomy is a spook btw, clothing has been a mass product. 200 years ago or so people wore certain outfits and styles, certainly not very individualistic. Around 1940 every man had like the same freaking hat. Also fashion really is the prime example of the paradox of the individualistic mass product.

>>54705
You forget he is brick. Of course he is alien and experientially this reality is some sort of alien hellscape piloted by mannequins to him. I not infrequently feel the same way.

>>54708
Everybody is the protagonist of their own reality mate, however I once became so intoxicated I rightfully concluded that I am not real and that I do not exist. While a plausible argument can be made for you all being real, my own existence is a fiction.

>>54696

>Why would a stranger just ask about your ethnicity?

Because he is Russian and/or American, possibly Chinese too. It's a bydlo decayed superpower thing I am not sure you would understand.

>but what is your hurritage?

I've actually gotten that question a lot. Do people just straight up ask your ethnicity? Yes, particularly if they cannot immediately peg you as "black" "Mexican" whatever. He might just have some kind of vaguely unusual feature. It may either unsettle the bydlo because you look or act even vaguely alien to them, or simply of their curiosity. I get this from the other hicks sometimes although to be fair I frequently take great pains to conceal myself from the others because I have no clue nor any interest in what retarded sports or pop culture references. I'm amazed I've not been accused of being a foreigner spy yet.

Perhaps he also just felt even more comfortable questioning the Swiss lad's ethnic background because he was traveling in another country surrounded by many different foreigners and because coming from a more bydlo monolithic yet multicultural country all his brain could process was "this must be evri." Americans have a tendency of doing that with everyone outside their country that isn't Asian and therefore Chinese must be Arab, Mexican, or black. I would assume Russians must think "he either is usual Wecterner, churka, Jew, or steppeasian."
t. Decayed large superpower bydlo liver

>>54697
I don't know about Korea specifically, but Asian fashion isn't so bad. At least it appeals to me personally. It's clean, has nice colours, materials and design and doesn't look trashy. At least on women.

>>54646
Passports are really cool. Mine makes me feel ever a bit more patriotic whenever I hold it, knowing my nation has my back, even if it's a small country.
Too bad I look like some weird avant-garde 70s-80s Eastern Block émigré with that long hair and sweater on the photo :DD

>>54714
My pic reveals a generic close-shaved haicut and red t-shirt collar, which is visibly pulled to a 'V' by my dangling earbuds. That probably puts me into some categorey or other- lazy-Western chic?- I just don't know which one.

I actually tried to take my passport photo myself, to save a few bucks. The results were awful, full of disfiguring shadows and bad lighting. I ended up going to a drugstore and shelling out $15 to have someone else take a better one. It would have only been $7.50 if I had simply printed out one of my own pics. It's strange to think about, but the difference between those numbers put a concrete cost on my vanity. Eh. At least it was a small cost.

>>54719

Interesting, I recently had to renew my ID and the photo was for free since the city administration had a catchy "high-tech" (it was new, no irony here) photo booth in which you could stand, with perfect lighting and make that facial recognition friendly photo as often as you wanted until you had the version you liked. No pennies spend although an ID costs freaking 20-30€ :DDD dunno anymore
But I don't know if an international passport requires a professional photo. I highly doubt that since the photo booth makes the perfect and desired biometrical photo already, there is no need to spend bucks on it, maybe for your CV I got a scholarship without a photo in my CV, I just attached a text that a photo enforces biases and I won't engage in such a practice, I don't want to be judged according to my physiognomical appearance

>>54720
Our photos are free for a driver's license, they take them for you at the DMV, but passports are done through the mail so you need to provide your own. It felt, I don't know...weird, but in a good way...to physically staple a photo to my application. Like everything is digital now, but we still have a use for the old ways. I assume that's the same in other countries, with government documents favoring a strong paper trail. I like that, and hope that somewhere out there they're still using carbon paper, too.

Since everybody has to provide their own picture, there is no shortage of businesses to fill the need. Walmart has a service which allows you to upload your own photo, and then pick up the regulation passport-sized prints in-store. That's what I was originally going to use for my picture. There are even guidelines to help you adjust the image to ensure it meets biometric requirements. All for the low price of $7.44.

I went to the oceanarium today. Today was a good day.

>>54247
Think I'll eat less this week and then on Friday, I'll fast and then end the fast Sunday.. Liquids first for 3 days, then semisolids for another 3 days, then solids ever after

Uhm, r8 plan??

I stopped to lose my time on screens watching bydlo shit and stopped playing time consuming video games. My only screentime now is to watch movies, work, message friends and EC. I now feel way more alive and it's pretty stressful. I want to meet more people, to be more productive and I struggle pretty hard to sleep at night may be unrelated to the rest.

>>54731
You don't read anything online?

My screentime is basically the same, but I still manage to feel like I waste a good chunk, probably due to procrastination that results in some Youtube/reading or actual entertainment time wasters.

>>54732
I include YouTube and article reading in the bydlo screen time. Even if the videos are intellectual and the article intrestanding, the reason behind me watching it is that I fear to live my real life.

>>54734
You wanted your crush to read Debord, no? Your words sound like the aversion against representation and the 'pro' immediacy that was a big category around 1968 and following and afaik an aspect of Debord. After all the media belongs to the spectacle, provides it with fuel. Anyways, I don't want to start a discussion on distance and immediacy rn and how these are part of the same reality.

>>54735

I had to think of this song now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nry4FTeBgYc

About a relationship or date, dunno. I used DeepL. They watch movies. The guy wants to kiss but the girl says don't interrupt the magic unfolding on the screen, the cool and magic times they have on the screen and she dreams of having herself.

Since we have stepped into Kein territory I can unload myself here: I had something like a date (the second, she ghosted me, coming back after two months saying she had some real shitty time, she also watches many movies, including the old stuff. Sadly she is very bodily distant in a way [spoiler]might be just corona, or she needs time, I don't want to wait, I would have liked to kiss her, to cuddle and have sex, it's making me freak out I need that already[spoiler] but her signals point toward her interest in the end. I don't want to have another 4 walks before something happens, also I'm afraid of a relationship, not even sure how much I like her.

>>54735
Yeah that's exactly it. The idea was Deborian.But the impulse is the girl. She said that her only screentime was to watch movie. It made me think about myself. And I came to the conclusion that we may exist in a very different way and maybe I existed less than her, having passively spent so much time in my life looking at images of the (non-)life of others.
>>54736
Has anything new happened since last post related or are you ruminating your thoughts about her?

>>54734

>. Even if the videos are intellectual and the article intrestanding, the reason behind me watching it is that I fear to live my real life.

It depends if that's the reason why you are doing it but that's still facebook bydlo tier thinking about things. Like who the actual fuck sits down to watch a movie or a documentary or dicks around reading articles after work and thinking "man, I really should go Living Muh Life." Like what the actual fuck else are you going to do, go parasailing?

In fact I'd go as far to point out that I heard the exact phrase countless times this pandemic from idiotic coof boomers. "da governa can't stop me from Livin Muh Life." And what the stupid fucks actually meant by that was just sitting around playing scratch offs in some gas station, sitting around in a Wendy's on lunch break, going out and getting someone to cut their hair than cutting it themself.

No none of these people are Living Their Lives in point of fact I'd really like to note how fucking random broads you picked up on some seedy bar isn't "living your life" either. I wasted so much of my damn time drinking and shtuping in my 20s and it was all such a goddamn waste of time and I wasted my life with nothing to show for it after LivingMyLifeTM. What I should have done is dedicated everything, all my mental and physical energy, towards just making a bunch of money in my 20s and slaving away at a better job and career path then dedicating my 30s towards stupid shit like "finding a wife" who'll just take half my money anyway after my kids tell me they're gonna become trannies. Then sit around like a dumbass on shitbook because every of my friends became bydlo retards on there and twitter obsessed with posting pics of themselves hiking the Blue Ridge Mountains instead of, you know, actually enjoying hiking in the mountains or whatever the fuck.

I have since lost touch with almost all my friends by the way, including my old "friends" who ultimately just became drinking buddies with whom I'd had little in common beyond drinking. When people say "living muh life" and they mean going out to clubs, they are bydlo and dumbasses, and then they watch richfag bydlo instagram feeds and want to feel depressed because they're not on a yacht or some stupid shit which is equally boring and retarded as sitting around a pool taking shots with bimbos.

You do not need to live your life. You need to do you and become successful and then spend some time bettering yourself. If that included reading articles--real articles not another faggoty top ten list like my stupid pocketfeed does--which betters your understanding of something during your downtime, then go do that. I had a great time doing shit this last year and especially fantastic time learning hands on things in my different hobbies partly by watching youtube videos and reading shit. Like if you want to learn how to do gardening and grow your own vegetables and raise a couple chickens, then go do that, go watch some video reviews on seed companies and strains or someshit, read articles and learn to do that.

If you're avoiding finding a job because you're too busy jacking off to anime though then yes that is absolutely pathetic and you're not living your life and would be better off doing literally anything else.

>>54742
If you look at the media with the idea of being immediately entertained instead of doing something else, then it doesn't really matter wich one it is. In that sense, you define the quality of the media.
You make a strawman by pertending I have the same intentions and ideal as your bar boomers. Living one's life can very well be a productive thing. I'm talking about doing everything in a conscious and willing state, not experiencing social immediatety without any thoughts put into it.
A lot of my drinking budds loose their non-socializing freetime looking at fucking Netflix series and drinking coke all day. But again, you also define the quality of your drinkings.

Why I must feel like every single week I must just try and unfuck something on top of having usual chores to eat up my time.

Also realized yet again today I'm tempted to just make know your countryballs.

>>54748

> I'm talking about doing everything in a conscious and willing state, not experiencing social immediatety without any thoughts put into it.

Which is what I'd basically preempted as the caveat to that when you said

>the reason behind me watching it is that I fear to live my real life.

i.e. the intentionality behind it mattering in that certain specific sense.

Of course all that being stated I am still largely a kind of utilitarian. Ultimately when it comes to getting things done I really don't give a shit that you're a shit person with shit intentions if the outcome is positive. "all things are rectified by the Lord" and all. Meanwhile some really great people can have these really positive intentions and all it does is just fucks somebody's day up. I'm exceptionally outcome oriented which means that if the outcome is the same, intentionality is of lesser concern to me. Like if you are fearing to live and that is why you watch NetFlix, as opposed to some other dude banging bydlo or raising kids and building a career or whatever and he comes home to watch his same show on Netflix as you are watching, at the end of the day you two are still watching Netflix. I fail to see the relevance to any of this behind some sort of meta philosophical commentary about the ways in which you mean to lead your life not just outwardly but also inwardly, and if your self criticism is a perceived failure to live life internally with conscious intentionality then so be it and go do that.

>But again, you also define the quality of your drinkings.

While this may be true it also is however true that alcohol is a shit drug, but that what really matters is those around you which can be just as fine without the booze. Sadly that being stated most of the people actually worth drinking with outside of like college or medschool tend to be more private bars and private situations. But you are entirely correct however and it is you personally that ultimately determines that, which even if you are your surroundings and get stuck in a situation it is also you who must choose not to be part of that and extricate yourself from it.

Sorry I've also been watching this dude and prison videos all weekend which may be subtly influencing me at this point in ways I'm not aware of. I also need to be less aggressive towards others online I think I still have no clue how I come off to people in written text which is probably bitchy, irritable, and offputting than I am by spoken word

>You make a strawman by pertending I have the same intentions and ideal as your bar boomers.

No what I mean is I didn't know if you had either that or for whatever reason social media and let them begin to influence you in their retarded mentality. I have also watched and come to agree with certain things richfags say about the unsuccessful and poor person mindset, which doesn't detract from all my many criticisms of those born into wealth and most others not having those opportunities, just like some dudes become mobsters because who their fathers are, however there definitely is a distinct "I am an employee" mindset of people waiting to strike it rich on the lottery rather than choose their own fate. Meanwhile often the same people try and say banalities about "living life."

I am a grumpy as fuck thirty something boomer and can safely say how full of shit however many people are at this point, and the retarded mindsets people get about "that is what I should be doing" when in fact the solution frequently is the opposite. I cannot say for certain your exact definition of "living life" means but I've watched as this whole toxic culture pollutes people through the media about becoming gangsta pimps this or going jetskiing that, consooming this or the other and sleeping around and how most people get in this mentality like "I want that." In point of fact one of the most ridiculous, retarded things I heard at an AA meeting was this guy trying to say something about "do you want what I've got? so people need to come to this group and see what I have" and it's like they lump even their life experiences into just another consumable product, and do it hoping to generate envy. It's stupid. Like fuck no I don't know what you have and I don't fucking care I want a stable job and sobriety.

I should point out that you're swiss and I'm American so there's probably some huge other disconnect there. I don't know what you mean by living your life and don't know what to tell you other than if you have an objective just go and do your mission or don't bother worrying about it so long as it's something worth doing. My problem with it is ultimately about 90% of people seem full of shit to me when they use that exact phrase and either don't go and do it like bernds who just wanted to sit there moping around bitching about everything, or people whose idea of "living my life" really amounted to only "I want to live their life" and make sure they could be seen taking selfies at a bar with the newest iPhone or some dumb shit like that.

So my apologies if I came across as being a dumb fat cunt to you.

>>54749

>So my apologies if I came across as being a dumb fat cunt to you.

You didn't noworries. Also, Ernstchan shouldn't be a safespace even if it is a bit as things are rn.

And you are right the phrases "being yourself" and "living your life" have become consumerist formulas to define more or less the contrary of the comportment I was refering. I am sorry not to be able to answer with the same amout of attention than you did.

Update: no most shit is still fucked. At least got one thing done, another thing just didn't get mailed since like two days ago, and FedEx remains fucking dickheads. Really I think I'm just getting ready to act like a dick because FedEx. God they're fucking awful why in the fuck does anybody use FedEx it costs more and is the absolute worst carrier. I need to stop making lists because I'll have like half crossed off and need to do it again week later anyway then it'll take a whole month and like a handful of shit still isn't done on the list.

>>54750
No worries like I said I am prone to being quite dickish online. Also the usual EC tier post is in longform as you can see the very first post in this thread
>>54249
Of course normally I either dwell in vidya/tech shit or am complaining about something trivial Today.

What exactly did you mean by that anyway? It sounded like you had some vision what you wanted to do but was not doing it.

Finally had my meeting with a wise elder of the central committee.
We discussed the teachings of the great educator, the future of Marxism in the 21st century and the problems facing the party - as well as the Marxist left as a whole.
A pretty sober and self aware conversation for a couple of hours. It was pleasant, really. Despite on the outside the party being your average ultra-left 'class war cosplay' movement that stands against revisionists, in his later years, their main theoretician espoused views that could only be considered revisionist. Notably that the Russian revolution and the Chinese revolution were doomed to fail since [abbreviating tl;dr marxist diatribes], you guessed it - there were no material conditions.
This comrade asked me to reconsider my decision to leave the organization, even dangling the prospects of central committee membership in the very near future - as we were in agreement in our disdain of those blinded with petty ideological fanaticism and the need for Marxism to update itself. I suppose he also took a personal liking of me.
I was handed another book written by the great educator and the party's guidelines. After this pleasant and interesting conversation, I open the party's guidelines to see the calls to take arms and prepare for the class war among other tone deaf revolutionary word salad. This 'party' is a great microcosm for the 21st century marxist identity crisis.

>>54608

>They do write stuff I agree with sometimes, but often their officialism and larping as a powerful Central Committee that "Demands" the government do such and such reform is amusing.

I suppose the Hungarian commies carry the aura of having at some point been masters of Hungary. Imagine a party whose greatest achievement was something 1.2% of the vote claiming to speak in the name of the "Portuguese masses".

Yesterday I watched a few news broadcasts from the 80s and a science centered show from 1964 reporting on the space race and general scientific progress.
The 1964 popular science report was really funny to watch, especially the parts about space travel, where they speculated that travelling to the moon is quite the possibility within the decade, and by the end of the century there would be permanent moon bases and expeditions to Mars and Venus.
Also talking about the possibility of building a tunnel between England and France.
Strangely enough, it reported on western science too, not just on what the eastern block did. (Though they made sure that Soviet achievements are mentioned too.)

The news reports felt strange. They were often explicitly political, but for some reason it wasn't as political as a modern news segment.
It reported on events that wouldn't make it into the news today, like a new ambassador being appointed to the country.
It's political news, but also kind of apolitical in a sense, at least for me. Makes me feel nice to know we have relations with that country too.
And also because the country ran on a command economy they could accurately report on the price of toilet paper and tissues, both locally produced and Chinese imports.

One of my father's business partners stopped by today. He's an interesting man. Rarely comes buy, lives abroad. Whenever he comes along and we meet we talk a lot. Apparently I'm a "man of grand intellectual stature" according to him. He was very eager to ask me about China, especially its political developments, both past and future.
Whenever China's policies and politics comes up, I feel like a used car salesman. The only difference is that I have a conscience, so I feel bad after putting across a deal. To the leftists, I sell it as the next evolution of Marxism, a true new paradigm, to the rightists as quasi-national socialism that's about to break neoliberal history forever.
Does this make me evil, dishonest, stupid, or all of them at once? Probably the latter. I'm an evil turncoat fool for peddling political illusions I myself am not even sure are actually correct or have any relation with reality.

Exams start next week. It's making me feel incredibly stressed, but mainly the Chinese language exam. I want to get an A.
Really, it feels like I've been thinking way too much about China. I kinda want to rest a bit after the exams and maybe decrease the share of the word "China" and derivative in my thinking to below 10%.

>>54754
Depends, really. Most people in the party are just old pensioners and former party members who were actually enthusiastic about marxism-leninism, the USSR and feel like the country was thrown off a righteous path it was trekking along on with other nations in a bond of brotherhood.
They use the party to get a sense of community I guess.
The party paper called "The Liberty" is very dry, mainly written by the chairman himself, usually dealing with foreign policy and relations (since he worked at the foreign ministry before '89). The tone is anti-nato, pro-Russia and China.
Most of the content the party produces is the weekly ~10 minute interview with him, the 3-4 line communiqués and demands they publish on their websites.
They promise free everything, from tuition to medicine while also quadrupling the minimum wage, leaving NATO and renationalising every industry and guaranteeing employment.
Personally, I doubt they'd have enough cadres to run the country if elected. (But otherwise I don't think they're evil people or have bad intentions. They just do it because they have nothing better to do.)(Maybe I'm just going crazy and that's why I don't consider them lunatics.)

Besides them, a lot of people both in government, but mainly the opposition have the Hungarian Socialist Workers' Party in their political pedigree or heritage. Of course most became little more than simple liberals over the years, enthusiastically privatising whatever they can get their dirty hands on.
Now these people actually feel entitled to govern. They think they ought to run the country, even if they got voted out of office, and it's incredibly irritating because this mentality makes it impossible to have a normal coalition government or inter-party cooperation.

The political situation is so bad that if Orbán said in an interview that "I don't like being run over by a bus" the majority of the opposition would jump under a bus just to prove it's not so bad. (This of course was true the other way around too when Orbán's party was the opposition.)
Everything is done out of spite instead of genuine concern for the welfare of the nation.
Basically the only political objective of the opposition becomes change for the sake of change.

Also their emblem is really fucking cool.

>>54759

>Does this make me evil, dishonest, stupid, or all of them at once? Probably the latter. I'm an evil turncoat fool for peddling political illusions I myself am not even sure are actually correct or have any relation with reality.

I guess that depends on your motives. Being an insincere ideologue isn't the worst thing in the world, arguably better than being a true believer.
Doing leg work for the Chinese Communist Party just for its own sake seems like a bad idea, but alas.

>>54763
It is infinitely worse because at least an ideological fanatic genuinely doesn't know better and likely has at least some of the right motives. An insincere one is just being kind of a total shit.

on Kohlchan.net/b 500.000 GET will happen in 15 minutes or so... would be a pity if something happened to it.
pic related

>>54767
Why would I care anything that happens there or go there for any reason?

>>54766
I said arguably because you can indeed make the case that at least a true fanatic isn't a hypocrite, so on a personal level they may have the moral high ground.
In practical terms, an insincere ideologue would be bound by the laws of reality - if for no other reason than self-preservation. A true believer would be blinded by the religious zeal of [ideology] and you're more like to end up shot as they attempt to bring God's Kingdom to earth.

>that feel when flicked mouse on my computer I left mining all day and it's giving me literally unusable crazy artifacting colors everywhere
>go outside to have a quick cigarette after holding down power supply button, come back on whisper "please Jesus" and turn it back on
>display at least is working normally again

Well I can't fap now. How does one go about doing nofap?
Oh shit I hope nothing deeper is busted I'd find out about gaming. Fuck. My $300 HOTAS literally just arrived this afternoon too.

>>54771

>How does one go about doing nofap?

1. Don't fap
2. Do anything, literally anything else.
3. Profit???

I ran a mining script in my browser this morning, but the spinning hard drive drove me crazy. Had to quit. Turns out I like quiet more than pennies.

>>54772
Which one? Chia? Also I think I figured out what happened: it being Adrenalin and thus while really excellent software that I love, is still AMD and can be flaky about settings. It doesn't happen often but every once in long while it'll kick the custom tuning profile off and reset back to default, which in the case of default on this particular card runs so overvolted and hot af I almost solely leave it undervolted which due to said heat I think I get mildly higher fps with my 5700XT undervolted. There aren't even a lot of games I even play which even stay well under my panel's refresh limit which means there's no point to me overclocking to begin with even though it's on OC bios.

So what I think happened is it kicked back to default while I was at work and so was running possibly for a few hours at full blast rather than the highly undervolted, underclocked, big fan curve and lower power limits setting which I'm normally running it at, and even though it gets hot anywayI can feel the heat with my face near the glass just gaming and benchmarking that backplate was absolutely hot as fuck when I forced myself shut down. Actually it kinda reminds me of when I had "graphics card failure" back in like '17 which I hadn't realized was my old HD 7570 getting so fucking clogged in dust the fan stopped spinning and so all that weird artifacting and strange colors I experienced wasn't the card dying but it overheating like fuck with no ability to cool itself. I strongly suspect this is part of what happened.

>Turns out I like quiet more than pennies.

Lad you've just got to get the right one. I mean yes I totally agree with you and in premise think miners are absolutely stupid getting excited about it which even on my card when you flip it from day to pay by hour it's like 19 cents an hour which is stupid. It's why Monero mining is doubly retarded because you're still wasting lots of electric and making what, 50 cents a day? All while slowly wearing out your pricey hardware. It isn't bad in cold climates though. I probably saved money just running it in my bedroom rather than heating the whole place. But of course, still. It's nice if you've got the hardware already and you're not using itor killing it in the process especially something as f'ing expensive as 3080 or 6800XT or 2080ti or worse and you're in time for whatever absurd shit this is. Last weekend my rate went up close to threefold. Not sure why. These are my actual private filenames btw. That is how shocked I was discovering it. It "dropped" to $12.78 per day atm. So, no, it's not worth it for pennies an hour. For this yes it finally is though.
EDITI seriously doubt it matters at all but might as well black it out

>>54776

>Which one?

My goal was to acquire banano. but since that coin doesn't require mining, the script was actually mining webchain. Then the reward would automatically be converted into banano. So it literaly would have been pennies. If I want a serious amount like whole dollars :D I'll have to buy LTC on coinbase, then transfer that to a market which sells NANO, then convert that into banano. Kind of a chore, and we'll see if I have the energy to follow through. Seems like a lot of work for a memecoin.

>my rate went up close to threefold

Nice. For that, I'd put up with my high piched HD. Sadly, I have a bottom tier desktop with off-the-shelf specs. Funtional, but not built for this.

Saving on food and drinking in anst public bathroom again.
I feel pathetic. I really need so.etching else to treat my ADHD. Weed will probably work meantime, but stimulants are outlawed here even for medical purposes, so I need to move to wect to get real treatment.

>>54789

>stimulants for adhd

They also are not real solution. They can get you to focus in order to get a specific task done, but long turn you are going to fuck yourself up with them.

t.has gone through it all

>>54790
I'd rather burn myself out while young than keep my faculties when it doesn't matter any more.
W
Twice as bright, half as long.

>>54790

Please do tell more. Were you treated with therapy or have you just received the medication? Do you even have ADHD for certain? Was it MPH or LDX?

I've had some negative experiences with MPH after being on it for over 6 years straight (actually the issues started way earlier, but only became apparent when I stopped taking it).
I'm on LDX now and it has been a much, much better experience.

I'm not delusional, though, I know that amphetamins aren't particularly healthy in the long run. I've been avoiding to think about it too much.

>>54792
You, in particular, should not ever do stimulants. They can easily cause psychotic episodes. About the sole possible benefit I can think them having to you is rapid weight loss which only compounds the health issues. It can also cause serious mental damage. I think alcohol is the only thing even comparable to the wildfire of neuronal cell death amphetamines causes. Other problem: when you do stimulants to focus and "get things done" I thing happens where it's like a crutch or wheelchair where because you rely on it more and more your native faculties and mental muscles atrophy even more and more. I've seen it many such times.

>>54797
You probably should think about it tbqh. Amphetamines is one of those few drugs that's not simply unnerving or spooky even but just straight up scary. In fact I think heroin is even less scary to me than speed because all heroin is gonna do is make you an addict and even kill you but it's just not going to completely rot and destroy your brain in the way that does. MPH I assume meaning methylphenidate and I'd known multiple people who chose it over cocaine although to be fair I'd never encountered the same spookiness as what coke did to people. It was a really strange feeling I cannot describe to being around coked people or people that did coke, like best I can describe is they're so subtly altered something feels just wrong but you can't place what and whatever it is they stay feeling wrong, like they absorbed all that negative spiritual energy of cartel beheadings while personality-wise got permanently shifted into somehow asshole Jewish record producer.

>you don't mean that last part

Yes I absolutely do because I went to an alcobydlo group once and some guy was there co-leading it who I could immediately tell used to be a cokehead and he was apparently some big name rich label guy until he stole and kept stealing from his acts partly to finance his coke addiction until he became some washed up Jewish ex-coke dude with seemingly no concept of the spiritual existing as anything but an extension of his own ego and that is exactly how several of my friends felt. It will make you into this depraved arrogant egotist. I do not know if Ritalin alone will do that to you though I know mechanism is pretty much the same.

Of course out of every addict I've met before alcobydlo remains the saddest and one of the scariest. I have literally never seen anybody fall down so far into a truly pathetic and outright scary place as more than one of my drunk friends. I really should wake up everyday and no matter how hateful I'm feeling by late in the day just remind myself well at least I am sober.

>>54797
Yes, I was diagnosed with ADHD, or rather the ADS variant. Before that my doctor had me try anti-depressants, which had solely negative effects. I tried around with RCs myself and found that Ethylphenidate EHP had possitive effects, so i started to nudge my doctor into the direction to do the ADHD testing and get me MPH, which worked out in the end.

It worked for some time, especially to get me through some very tough examinations.
My issue was that I was starting to not take it as intended, but by grinding it into powder and snorting it, which kicks more and I would binge it for a few days without sleep.
I would basically use it not to help me get things done I need to do, but to escape reality.

In the end my life started to get more and more out of control. I decided to quite using it, quit seeing the doctor and quite the work I was doing. Luckily that was the same time covid hit, so everthing came to a stand still anyway and me being jobless wasnt a big deal.
In hindsight this was the best thing to ever happen. My main problem was that I was forcing myself to do something I deep down absolutely hated.
Having one year to get away from it all and get back to become a normally functioning person without constant pressure worked out well.

I just recently found a new job which hopefully suits me better. I am not planing on taking medication again, but try to just get things done in my own, admittedly rather disorganized style.

tl;dr
Getting out of bad life circumstances helps more than taking meds.

>>54809
Right, sounds absolutely reasonable. I guess I was more moderate than you, I've stopped taking MPH when I was regularly using 3x 20mg while my prescribed dosage was 2x 20mg. I was still within the max. dosage considered okay, but it was wearing on me and the MPH did have adverse effect on my behaviour.

And in contrast to you, the stuff helps me do a job I actually like. Not just a job tbh, I just love certain aspects of writing code and I know I can't really have that without some kind of help. Caffeine seems to be much less healthy than LDX just from how the rebound feels, so I've stopped drinking coffee and am only on LDX and green tea.
The thought of giving up on programming is harsh though, it's my main source of joy for many years now and it's a genuine joy at that.

>>54805
What you describe about coke and MPH rings true, even though not to those extremes. From the perspective of someone who has worked through these issues by both talking with people to understand my behaviour and practicing mindfulness meditation for years while using MPH, I may shed some light on the situation...
The main thing that's happening on MPH (which is not an amphetamine btw) is that you trade a specific type of calmness for a surplus in focus. This balance, when tipped for too long, will be visible mostly in indirect ways to outside people: You appear less patient throughout the day, but not in all cases. For reasons rather complex you are impatient mostly with the actions of other people; but you have an unnatural reserve of control over your outbursts, so any impatience is built up rather than turned into aggressive behaviour on the spot. Over the course of a day, you accumulate stress that is expressed partly in muscle tension (as stress usually is) and in a sort of quiet nervousness that time is running out. This is a feedback-loop in more ways than one: You re-inforce your own impatience but you also re-inforce a sort of passive aggressiveness in the people around you.

Compared to the behavioural effects other drugs have the effect of MPH is very subtle and hard to pin down. It did take me years of reflection and meditation practice and I wouldn't say I've fully understood it.

Please note that while LDX is am amphetamine, it is very different from coke or crack. LDX has neither a kick nor a rebound and at least until now the behaviour altering is extremely weak compared to MPH. There is a qualitative difference: When on MPH I simply would not act like someone with ADHD (meaning the impulse-control thing); but on LDX my AHDH isn't gone, it's there and visible, but manageable. LDX works much more on the ability to concentrate than on the social behaviour. Which is great for me, tbh, because the spontaneousness of my behaviour seems to make people like me more and that that aspect was gone with MPH almost entirely.

>>54809
So you did the exact thing doctors tell you not to do with medical stims and started abusing them, and had a bad experience.
Totally unexpected.

>>54811
To be honest the reason for the bad experience werent the meds but the general situation. The irresponsible use of them actually just made me endure the situation longer.
Its like the rat park experiment, its the negative circumstances that cause the abuse not the other way arround.

What this means in realtion to ADHD for me is, that trying to force my brain to work the same way as "normal" brains do, isnt a good idea. Tasks that may be just difficult but managable for regular people can be overwhelming for me, because I dont get them organized properly. Using the meds to get my brain focused enough to do them, is only a short term solution which works for one specific project, but not a long term solution. Because the increased stress I am put under by trying to do something too exhausting and complex is going to be too much for me.
So I now rather try to do something that suits my ADS riddled brain.

Got my Korean art essays handed back. Got 5/5 points, which makes me suspect the lecturer hasn't actually bothered to read it and just looked at the amount of text and the images chosen. Don't know. The only other comment was "Thank you very much".
Maybe she was just tired. Maybe I just did well.

Studying for the exams. I have the usual issues, nausea, stress and no appetite.
My mother told me again that she'd rather have a son with no degree than a son who cripples himself from anxiety.
I fucked my shit up with an energy drink. There's nothing for caffeine to burn. I've actually lost a fuckton of weight since I've entered university and the pandemic started. Isn't there a meme/stereotype about people getting fat once they enter uni? I've lost like 13-14 kilos.

How do normal people cope? I'm very prone to doing this. I developed this at the start of high school and has been ruining me since then. I just live with it, but sometimes I think any other sane person would have asked for a tranquillizer by now.

I just wish I didn't want to throw up so much.

Maybe something more unrelated to the ADHD issue but not being able to focus might have other reasons as well. I have a hard time focusing at things often but I never had the super urge to run around in class as a kid etc. so I guess this has more to with a changed environment and information at your fingertips than being a biochemical issue.
Either way, self-medication with substances can work, but that does not mean it can be unhealthy and shit and gives no benefit but the contrary in the on run in other (most?) cases. People taking substances like they are some magic pills that will cure their shit, are like Silicon Valley idiots that think their technology will be a cure to everything. It has effects, but that alone is only part of a larger complex.

>The term solutionism as a description of the (arguably flawed) idea that every social problem has a technological fix, is the brainchild of Evgeny Morozov, a Belarusian writer and researcher who studies the political and social impact of technology.

Read it concerning substances/meds:

>The term solutionism as a description of the (arguably flawed) idea that every psychological or psycho-social problem has a substance fix, is the brainchild of Ernst Wurff, a German writer and researcher who studies ...

Not being able to socialize normally during corona makes me feel like shit because I feel like there are even less humans interested in me nowadays than before. But maybe I'm blowing it up in proportions, I recently learned I might have borderline anyway.
Listening to "Hit me Baby one more time" by Britney in order to feel better now.

>>54818
Your musical disposition confirms your diagnosis.

>>54814
Sorry for not reading all your text but listen to your mother, your brain is going 1000 MPH, I feel you have much stress only by skimming your text during the past weeks. Listen to your mother. You don't have to suffer.

pic that is in my brain but not in my PC: Pinhead telling "brain, the supreme torturer!"

>>54812
I'm more of a pessimist here.
I don't think there are mental illnesses that are "suitable" for any job.
It's a disadvantage and doesn't make you better at anything long term, than someone who doesn't have it.

There's this tendency to treat mental illness as some kind of tradeoff, or romanticize its "benefits". The inability to effectively control your own behavior is not a benefit in any context pretty much.
Even the stereotype of "spontaneity" associated with ADHD is not very beneficial. I can quickly whip up mediocre results, or arrive at mediocrity at any skill relatively fast compared to neurotypicals, but to someone who wishes to achieve mastery or at least competency, it is no consolation. Long term consistency always wins in the end.

Honestly I'll probably die sad and bitter due to desiring things that my brain is incapable of doing.

>>54815
Tbh I don't really think in terms of "problems" and "solutions".
What makes more sense to me is goals, tools, and compromises. I have a goal, I might use some medication in order to help me achieve it. If it takes compromising my health in the long term to get it, I think it's a fair trade.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWkL0QwLllw
Been listening to Zizek lectures, and this clip confused me a little bit.

It seems like he implies here that there is no thought beyond language, or that language and thought are the same thing.
Which is experientially not true to anyone who engages in non-linguistic forms of thought. When drawing, I don't literally internally monologue to myself what I'm doing. I'm just thinking in terms of shapes, colors and lines.
Or even playing video games. If I am good at a game, and the game itself is good, I can be intimately familiar with its mechanics and systems, but struggle to explain them in language.
I think and understand something that is not linguistic in nature.

And even when writing, I sometimes have a vague idea in the form of associations, relationships and images, that I need to "convert" into language in order to communicate it.
I think philosophers have a language bias, since it's the medium they predominantly work in.

https://youtu.be/SqFu5O-oPmU?t=5594
Regarding video games specifically, I think this bit from one of Jonathan Blow's talks is interesting. He talks about wanting to convey ideas that are not directly transferable through a linear medium. "Thoughts" that are not static object, but dynamic systems. And video games are just the tools for that.
He brings up this point many times in different lectures, but they're very fractured so I can't present them all in the same place. He often describes this experience of solving and understanding a puzzle in a game, but not being able to describe the solution in language, because the solution was developed in a form of thought other than language.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWFScmtiC44
I guess this lecture is interesting, the focus of it is games as education, but I think it touches on a lot of the concepts.

After getting a job, I've lost all my hobbies and interests and became a boring automaton. Only one day a month to catch up on shitposting. Music listening only for 1h every other day at the gym. The system has got me.

>>54713

>Everybody is the protagonist of their own reality

Well, that needs to be proven. While I have first hand experience of being literally at the center of the universe, other peoples' claim to such are not provable. When I move my neck muscles, the whole world rotates around me, and when I move my legs, the world accelerates towards me. I am the protagonist here, ok.
I am mostly kidding, but only mostly.

>>54712
Perhaps autonomy is a spook, but it's just so jarring to have seen this fashion for years on the internet, and then it finally arrives to this backwater country, half the people start wearing it and it feels so cliche and banal.
It gives me that "I see what you are doing there" feeling. Like when a street busker plays a cliche riff while jamming because he ran out of ideas and needs something to fill the gap before the next idea. Just makes me roll my eyes a bit.
Maybe I'm just an asshole.

>>54714
I think my problem with asian fashion specifically is that it's infantilizing. At least female asian fashion.
They often dress in things that a middle schooler would wear. I find that a bit off putting.

I prefer a "smart" or "confident" or "mature" look. Maybe even slightly intimidating. Maybe I have mommy issues.

And yes, I must admit, I hate cute things. It's not a rational response, cuteness just irritates me. It feels manipulative, like it's trying to undermine my psychological defenses by striking directly at the "protect baby" instinct.
Tbh large reason why I intensely dislike anime. It's an industry that sells cuteness pornography.

>>54826
Without watching the video it sounds like a variant of Sapir–Whorf hypothesis (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linguistic_relativity)

>>54828
I think it's opposite.
My claim is that language is merely one form of cognition, not the main form of it. So your model of the world can be affected not only by language, but by your other cognitive efforts as well.

That is not to say language can't do that as well, it's just one of the things that does it.
I do have a distinct experience of being able to "see" concepts and ideas once I had a word for them. Like, something I was blind to before became clear when I could mentally pin it down with a word.
But also there are things that can not be effectively described by language.

>>54829

> But also there are things that can not be effectively described by language.

Are you sure? Maybe not in the languages you know. Maybe a new language can be constructed to describe it.

>>54831
I think it's a problem inherent to a linear, sequential medium.

It's also kind of obvious when you think about the arts. You can't describe a song to a deaf person through text, and you can't describe a painting to a blind person.

Like, things are more than their literal data. You could describe a painting as a series of squares of colors (like "green", "green", "turquoise", "red", "blue" ...) in such fine detail that you could effectively recreate the painting with the information, but reading this information wouldn't give you the same experience as looking at the painting.

I sometimes say that "I feel sad", or that "I feel pathetic", or other descriptions of myself experiencing emotions.

I wonder if any of those are true. Am I truly experiencing the emotions, or am I just projecting ideas of those emotions onto my internal "identity", because I've learned what a real human being must feel in a given situation?
To be honest I don't feel much of anything at all. I just... "construct" my emotional state how I construct my social image.

I've said before that I feel like I'm puppeteering a body from within my mind, while not feeling like I actually am the puppet. Now I'm wondering if I've been projection emotions and experiences onto that puppet and claiming them as my own.
I'm just doing what is expected of me, physically. I do what a "rational human being" in my position would do physically and financially, but maybe I also rationally calculate what a "normal person" would feel in my situation, and describe myself as feeling such. There is no authenticity to any of this. What if I am simply imitating experiences that I do not have.

Oh how I wish I could embody my own puppet. I miss reality feeling "real". I miss "being in the moment". Or feeling like the events transpiring around me are significant.

Got the Japanese art essays handed back too. They netted me an A, and since I wrote all the essays for both Korean and Japanese art, I don't have to take an exam from the Art of the Far East 2 subject, which is nice, because I don't want to memorise hundreds of potential pictures and their painters and sculptors.

2bh I'm surprised. I wasn't happy at all with how the essays turned out, but the lecturer even wrote that "They're very good" in the evaluation. Felt like the sources I used were a bit lacklustre and that I was stretching my words way too much, but if this is fine then this is fine. She probably didn't expect use to reinvent the wheel.
Re-reading them I found my style to be quite smug, even when writing under stress. Or maybe I've just reached a point in irony where I can't take pre-fabricated panel-sentences I sometimes instinctively shit out seriously any more.
(They're not bad sentences, it's just that they're very trite and it makes me smile.)

Got my marks in Greek, it's a B, just like last semester. Lecturer said that I have issues with morphology and it's my biggest weakness.
I'm going to have one Greek exam though. There's a Grundprüfung (Basic Exam in English but because it's not a compound word it feels kinda eh) that's available for people who want to take Author Classes in the future. (As in like, do you want to spend an entire semester reading the Odyssey in Greek?)
The exam isn't that hard supposedly, and there's no harm in completing it I guess. Nets me two extra credits, and if I don't take Greek as a minor then that means that with the two times four credits of Greek plus the two credits from the exam I have completed the "Free choice" credits for my degree.
Personally, I'd say that the most I gained is a framework for my future Greek studies here, and I hope that I'll have some time to actually build on what I've learned, but I wouldn't say I know ancient Greek. I think it's an important confession to make as to not to make an ass of myself. Still gonna tick it off my 5-year-plan list though.

I'm going back to bed, I'm really tired.

>>54826

>I think philosophers have a language bias, since it's the medium they predominantly work in.

Deleuze and Guattari were one of these Frenchies who thought there is something beyond language. The question of language has been a huge issue (linguistic turn) in 20th century philosophy in analytic as well as continental philosophy. Language as you said is a medium, which already marks a distance, mediation means there has to be a distance. A media theorist like McLuhan (not sure if he said that for language) says the medium is the message, 'the medium shapes its content' and usually, the media make themselves invisible only when it does not work it shows itself as a condition.

>>54831
Maybe. But doesn't that imply that representationalism is in the end actually working flawlessly. Why and how do we know that our representations are correct and 1:1 reflecting 'reality'? Why is our access to representations so clear? Our access to reality is already debated. Are there limits to reflection? What if language does never work like a mirror at all? I think that many philosophies revolve around language as (another) reality inducing medium/instrument/phenomenon, therefore not really being a mirror. Maybe handled as an approximation in many instances, especially in the more analytic tradition. Just like science is supposed of building mirrors of nature and the universe.

>>54833
feelings and emotions might not be the same thing. I can only give a vague idea here. Feelings are ways of relating to yourself and your environment, they are phenomenological, part of an experience of the world (Lebenswelt I think is the correct term). Emotions are socially standardized expressions, socially constructed. There is a text by Martha Nussbaum where she gives the example that wrath was handled differently with Inuit and ancient Romans. The men of the latter were expected the express their wrath, whereas Inuit think/thought that expression of wrath is behaving like a child and therefore being an adult, wrath is not to be expressed, or you will be perceived as a child. Grief is displayed differently in different cultural spaces.

>I've learned what a real human being must feel in a given situation?

You at least learned what is or should be the appropriate emotional expression to a given situation. If that is rational or not is another question.

sometimes I post, then forget what I've posted, then come back later, read the posts, and think "hahaha what a dumbass"
then I realize it's my posts

such cases

>>54846
If you also manage to forget that you are the admin you can create whole imageboards this way.

Each day I feel a little more irritable especially after work. I think my whole life objective in the immediate term right now is to get vaccinated and then jump ship. I just also need to be at a position where I'm not going to snap at people and also be comfortable enough to at least temporarily shut my income stream from all sources to zero in the interim.
To be fair I basically woke up angry and don't know why beyond starting my day at like 3:00am because I woke up and couldn't fall back to sleep and am now completely exhausted. My body itself feels angry.

>>54847
I've not actually argued with myself too many times but on imageboards I have routinely had difficulty telling if I agree with you or that is my post. Was a much bigger problem before KC died and there was like a hundred other Americans. I've also had messages get boomeranged back to me, not realize I wrote that months or years ago, and start having a discussion with myself. I wonder if this is what birds trying to mate with statues feel like.

My internal monologue has turned into an internal dialogue. I discuss in my head with idealisations of people I know. It already happened to me once or twice. When I was a kid, I argued with god, while of course knowing it was not him. When it happens, I'm always debating with the other but I'm the only one who talks. One might say I defend myself because the other person or idea acts more as an accusation. I can't say weather it's greatly unpleasant or oddly satisfying because even if I can keep the illusion for a moment that I'm in contradiction with someone else, I know very well that the contradiction lies within myself. I read a lot more fiction lately, maybe it's a consequence from this change of cultural habitude.

Has something like this happened to any Ernst?

>>54871

>Has something like this happened to any Ernst?

All the time. People I know act as avatars for certain traits of personality which I expect to lean to certain opinions. So most of the times when I try to figure out my own stance on a given topic my internal dialogues is filled with their voices, allowing me to make arguments I myself would not make because they would not appeal to me. But since I still might face these arguments when trying to explain my opinion to the public, I need to test it from every possible angle, including edgy or emotional low blows.

Wouldn't be surprised if that's a common way of handling these situations.

Thought I was supposed to have a family meeting to discuss our mutual wills and estates and what to do with it all this weekend but it turns out they meant next weekend. More semi-related problems. Ended up not having work today either which is just as well because I really need to head out soon to buy shit. I'm actually sorta running out of money at this point too and that is to say I have such a huge, massive proportion of all my finances locked up in assets at this point almost all of which I expect to crash this year but at least on the plus side it completely prevents me from spending that money on stupid bullshit. I've got no idea how my family's collective income can be that high and how those guys are capable to just piss through that money like water which just confuses me because I know most of them have not got super nice shit everywhere so I can only assume it's partly dumb shit like eating out. It makes me realize just how utterly retarded and financially irresponsible people are in this country.

Oh well. Meanwhile I have got multiple projects which need to get done including finishing testing something so I can sell it as soon as possible, testing another thing for myself, getting groceries, fixing another thing, and then tracking if I have any chores I seem to be missing. Thank God I'm supposed to be getting vaccinated soon too.

It's reaching the point in this country where most places dropped the mask thing, including saying you don't need to if you're vaccinated with no proofs of that, which is a shit idea because basically what's gonna happen is the half of the country that will immediately stop wearing masks in enclosed public spaces is going to he exactly the same people that refuse to get vaccinated. As much as I hate the retarded shit of one half of the country I am so thoroughly alienated from another half at this point that the plague has literally become my line in the sand that helped radicalize me. I have no interest in having anything to do with anybody if I find out they're one of those bug chasers. It's simple as. I don't even care at this point if I could agree with them politically on different issues or find them likeable as persons, they're now effectively the Other to me. My view of them is effectively the same view an Imperial citizen would have towards a Nurgle worshipping heretic. What it effectively tells me directly is that you are now not just useless but also an active threat in any emergency situation and if shit hits the fan in another way I'm totally abandoning these people. They do not get resources, they do not get a space in the bunker.

Meanwhile my worries about the economy mildly grows just because I know this growth is not sustainable nor is the underlying health of the economy all that good. Frankly I am expecting a financial crash any day now which makes me think any remaining money I haven't allocated into investments already, that more smartly would just get stuffed into a savings account so I could buy the dip, is going to have to start going into precious metals. I say this even as my income stream is no longer healthy and reliable and that I'm worried about cash in hand for groceries today.

"Human" is a meaningless category. Our conscious condition allows our species to occupy a much larger spectrum of "ability" or "quality" than any other.

There's a much larger distance between me and some kohl retard in "virtue" or "quality" than there is between me and a cat.

Being human shouldn't entitle you to, or excuse you, from anything.

Kohltard and poltard genocide best day of my life.

>>54882
we should actually go a head and enact mass cleansings based on IQ, because it is guaranteed that the first ones to go due to not meeting the IQ100 threshold will be the reactionary NEET schizos from kohl and pol

>>54837
I think you are mixing up emotions and behaviour based on emotions. The emotion is what you feel, the behaviour is how you deal with what you feel. Expressing your wrath is a consequence of feeling it.

>>54887
Ironically the new right discussed this in the late 1970s/1980s, the question of IQ and how this has lead to certain actions (stupid people should die out), ofc since nationalist socialist Germany you could get in trouble so people opted for incentives (market) rather than forceful genocide, amongst other positions ofc. It's a reverse Pol (pun) Pot.

>>54889
I think I mixed up but not in your way.
Emotions are not what you feel, these are feelings. Emotions are what you express or expressed feelings, feelings that got (culturally) categorized. How it is expressed, the behavior, can vary. Grief is such a category, the behavior/expression can vary across time and space. You can cry out of joy and relief or because somebody you love died. I'm not very deep into the discussion of a basic pool of expressions for all humans (certain face muscle movements etc.), might work for a certain kind of expression. But again feelings and emotions are different things for me. Emotions are defined by their display for me, feelings not. You can feel like a beaten dog and still express joy in a certain situation, because of reasons. How well that works is a different question.

>>54882
I've been sliding towards not seeing some alleged humans as people anymore, which some degenerate k*hltard pedophilic terrorist certainly doesn't even register as human to me anymore, or rather, it is no longer a person in the way my microwave is not a person. It has a set function and it does not change. I think you're right, and the irony here being a live by the sword, die by the sword thing where the more of us adopt literally their own logic, the more they're going to end up taking the brunt of it. Low IQ, awful personality, absolute literal subhumans with an interest in kids, pedos, zero virtues, all around exactly the kind of people who should be the first you end up liquidating as inferior subjects.

Mum and dad took my sister to a covid antibody-test. Turns out she actually had covid, and by the looks quite recently. Completely asymptomatic.
So basically half the household had covid by now. Next week after my first batch of exams is done, I'm going to get tested too for antibodies. I don't think I'll test positive, but it's worth a try I guess and it's not terribly expensive.
(Either I have antibodies or I'll need to get the jab because most likely I'm going to need the card that proves I'm covidproof to go to uni in person in September.)

I'll have the first part of the Chinese exam tomorrow. (Then two days later the verbal component. Kinda afraid it'll turn out like on this video.)
It's a do or die moment and I don't know if I'll do well or not.

My girlfriend's kinda hard to get used to having a girlfriend again after a few years little sister wanted to go to the amusement park today and they dragged me along, I thought it would be pretty boring but unexpectedly I had a great day, turns out the gf likes rollercoasters and other "thrilling" stuff and her excitement was pretty contagious.

Oh yeah, and yesterday since it's finally warm outside - it got from +8 to +22 in a space of a single day - we did our horse riding session outside, which is for many reasons way better, the horse's gait was beautiful, got to do some loops whilst cantering, pretty fun.

>>54899
I'm kind of just stone faced on rollercoasters. They don't last long, are short, inspire little if any emotional excitement at all. I've always been confused by people screaming on them and simply assumed it was some sort of a custom, like how it seemed the cultural custom to yell out various noises while watching fireworks. I suppose the physical feeling of different G forces are rather unique but it's just not a thrill to me. Sometimes when everybody else seems retarded, the solution to the question is simoky that you're the retard. I would imagine however being a fighter pilot to be a thrill like little else on earth. Not even bombing shit I mean just the act itself of flying something that clearly dangerous and abnormal to the human experience. I think it's what always killed it for me, which was the distinctive sense in an amusement park that I am completely safe and the situation is fully controlled. It occurred to me I'd think different if the handlebar delatched and I had to hang on for dear life.

>>54899
>>54903
I don't enjoy most things, but I like rollercoasters. Or at least I did, it's been a while since my last ride. Probably 5 years, give or take. Sure, I didn't care for the crowds at the park and such, but the experience of the ride itself was...I don't know, exciting? It was safe, yeah, but my body still recieved the signals of motion, of danger. Like on the one ride that takes you up so many feet and then drops. The falling is real, and you feel it in your stomach even though you're strapped in.

>>54904
I miss riding a rollercoaster so much. Since the world went completely insane I had not a single ride, not even a small condor flight. Cannot imagine that I could enjoy the ride properly with a face mask. I haven't left the house since those damn illuminates told the world that a face mask is required now, because an ordinary scraf somehow wouldn't do the trick anymore.

>>54906

>haven't left the house since those damn illuminates told the world that a face mask is required now, because an ordinary scraf somehow wouldn't do the trick

You're unspeakably retarded. If there even was such a thing as an Illuminati plan in all this it would be getting as many people pozzed as possible and telling them to just get back to work through plague times making the rich elites more money while conning all these idiots into believing somehow giving away your biometric data freely while practicing zero OpSec is "patriotic" or some insanely stupid bullshit. Like I've said before this is now my line in the sand. It distinguishes people whose stupidity is an active threat to me and mine from the normal stupidity of most people. It tells me immediately no person like that can ever be trusted, certainly not in an emergency situation, and are effectively chaos tainted cultists. The fact all these complete fucking idiots had their faces sprayed across billboards as terrorists because they were too fucking stupid to wear a mask while they were smashing shit at Congress should speak volumes to you. Those are the kind of people that fuck up and stay perpetual jailbirds and you want nothing to do with because their stupidity is dangerous to your health and freedom. For whatever strange reason this is mostly a problem with Germans and Americans.

>Wake up
>Throw up
>Take first part of exam
>Waiting for second part
>Probably fucked everything up
>It's all over

I'm drinking zhen mei green tea from the funky Chinese teaset now

>>54907
Whoa calm down, mate. The illuminati phrase was meant rather sarcastic, I am just getting tired of all that corona BS.

It's over.
I was afraid because the last two homeworks I turned in were abysmal. (Like got 2 out of 20 sentences right.)
But during the exam there was only one sentence where I was awarded half the points because I solved it with the help of the lecturer and also got one point subtracted because I didn't know how to pronounce a measure word for letters, but I knew what it was.
So overall it went marvellously.

I'm famished. Gonna order a pizza.
I no longer feel any nausea. Really, I felt so talkative I went out into the living room and verbally terrorised my father by telling him about my studies in grand detail.
Don't know if it's the green tea or the exam being over. Probably both.

The only thing I need to prepare for now is the Chinese Grundprüfung. Gonna need to land an A on that so I pushed it back a month.
If the written part is good then I'm going to rebook the exam for next week. (That and based on what the lecturer recommends I do, because I have no way of judging my own skills.)

Thou shalt not forsake another man's chance at Glory

I am a fatalist and determinist philosophically, but in day to day life, I regularly beat myself up over things I had no or little control of.
Brains are stupid.
Or I'm stupid.

>>54920
It's not you, it's brains in general. There's a pretty good book about how stupid human brains are: Thinking, Fast and Slow by Kahnemann. Can recommend both for laughs and education.

>>54921
Thanks.
I always enjoy reading about the limits of the human condition.
What's even more interesting is that being aware of a mental blind spot doesn't make you immune from it.

My neoplatonistic bias is creeping in again, but I think that what's interesting about the human condition is that we're on the threshold of the animalistic vs the divine.

We are not perfectly rational, but we are capable of tapping into it.
We do not run exclusively on instinct, but most of our behavior does.

There's something interesting about this situation.

The biggest problem with my alcoholism is that when I get sufficiently drunk, I get the impulse to imitate various fake sci fi alien languages, for fun

So sometimes people will walk in on me trying to imitate greedo or jabba from star wars, and think I've gone mental

>>54926
Just agine walking in on me saying this shit: https://voca.ro/13ciT3yQb1Ig

>>54927
I laughed. Also: Pretty convincing, would hire for alien voice artist!

>>54926
What do you drink? Aragh saggi?

>>54926
are you the old Iran poster from KC? Anyway regardless if you are him or not, alcohol is terrible, don't let it destroy you. I have lots of displeasure regarding alcohol, it's a drug that has harmed too much people I know

>>54927
Sounds like Hindi/Tamil

>>54927
You should try to get a job as voice actor.

>>54249

>What the fuck was even Teletubbies about?

Here there was a theory that its popularity was not based on kids watching it but people who just got home in the morning high as fuck.

>>54931
No sadly Iran and India and St. Kitts among countless others have remained lost to the wind. Happily we still have brick. I can't even remember at this point if he was on early KC or not but for some reason his work/home etc shows up as like three different places. Iranball is brick. Iirc so is Omsk and one other. It's usually easy to tell that it is him.

Where will humanity in the west go after covid-19 is over? Will it bring an end the meaninglessness of everyday life under neoliberal capitalism the last decade tried to fight with internet hyperirony and substance abuse?

>>54943
It will be like before, just with more surveillance.

>>54943
There will be no change what so ever.
Covid isnt some fundamental game changer, it just put the brakes on many part of lifes for a year and afterwards its back to regular speed again.

>>54945

>There will be no change what so ever.

There has always been change, even though lately it has been concealed to be somewhat invisible in terms of Mark Fishers capitalist realism.
I'm not saying covid-19 is a game changer and will end the system or all that, but it's a good time marker like the financial crisis of 2007-2008 was and I'm interested in the cultural response to the "new" area.

Boo-ya just got vaccinated today first shot lvl 1 CoofVax +20 to AC against the coof

>>54945
Yeah but what you have to keep in mind is their desperation against the System being reinforced on a yearly basis against our children because that System is fundamentally alien and hostile to human life and that is exactly why they panicked so hard about not getting kids back in school replete with lies about children "being immune" or lies "kids can't catch it" because upholding that systematic institutionalization requires nonstop reinforcement and indoctrination through the schooling component of the school to industry to prison/military and back to industry part of the pipeline. The schools are part of that initial loop like an ignition on an engine system and when that malfunctions you risk losing whole batches, whole generations of people to Freedom.

I just binge watched so much 60 Days In and it made me think how disgusted and hostile I am as an American to The Enemy, and that is the forces of the System including especially its schooling and prison industrial complex components. With God's permission, this whole year and a half would have broken substantial amounts of the mass programming of kids through their experience with homeschooling. I have never met a homeschooled kid that wasn't awake at least on some level, even if it only was for a year or two. Now I have tens of millions of us in the West and I am extraordinarily happy about that fact regardless what the System attempts to do in re-damaging everybody and caulking over the open wounds of Freedom on their totalitarian inmate psyches.

>>54947

>AAC

>>54943
>>54944
>>54945
>>54946

Not sure how much of a "game changer" Covid really is, but it surely accelerated certain things I'm curious what will happen to distant learning for instance once there is no virus any more threatening lives.
There is more talk of resilience these days, which could be counted as neoliberal trope. Covid showed vulnerabilities of global supply chains. What will change is emergency management and maybe even nationalistic tendencies. The EU wants to gain more autonomy in different areas of production, same for China and the US. It's still a global market that demands "competitiveness" but maybe more nationalist rhetorics and more soft power war. But this could be temporary due to covid. Rn it looks like the west gets control over the pandemic situation with vaccinations, the potential end of capitalism is very unlikely. The rest of the world (besides China)? I don't know, maybe there the situation is different due to Covid, that in the end could be a game changer.

>>54946
>>54950
The financial crisis 2008 is a good example.
It was a shock back then, but did anything actually fundamentally change?
People in general have quite a short memory, in the moment they think the event they are currently witnessing is the most important thing ever and will completely change the world but after it passed everything is back to normal again.

There are countless examples in history in which people were convinced they were living in the end times because some current event seemed hugely important to them.

I dont think covid has left a big enough impact in any way, be it the deathtoll or economic disturbance, that it will cause change.

>>54950
Nothing will change in China because of Covid. The CPC was able to curb-stomp covid using draconian methods and was able to write the whole thing off as a great victory domestically despite the initial mega-fuckup. Abroad they've exported hundreds of millions of jabs, masks and other medical supplies.
If anything this strengthens the status quo of the CPC imho, at least internally.
(Not that everything is fine and dandy, they face serious challenges in the next 20-30 years, but at least they seem aware of the hurdles awaiting them.)

It's pretty sensible for the EU to want more manufacturing capacity for things like vaccines.
We used to have a vaccine production facility until they sold it off 20 years ago and then closed it. This is critical infrastructure which can't be put a price on in market terms. I mean, you can put them up to the whims of the market, but you shouldn't, because a pandemic is more real than capitalism if you get what I'm saying.
Really, this is one of the things I think our government is doing right, which is buying back and rebuilding privatised critical infrastructure that don't matter in market terms but matter in matters of reality.

I'm curious if the circlejerking retards in Brussels who think policy can bend reality will realise this and do anything centrally in an effective manner.

The main issue the US faces is that it has R&D, finance-capital but no manufacturing in a lot of critical sectors. If the US elite actually starts creating a secondary supply chain independent of global trade and critical infrastructure that means that they've given up on reigning in China using their meme "rules based order" and are entrenching themselves for an elongated political conflict. (Where obviously they'd need these very real materials and goods over policy and the market.)
The return of US manufacturing would mean that the US not only realises but accepts that it has lost its status as a global hegemon and it can no longer twist and bend the economic and political reality to its desire.
(Though this doesn't mean that the US would become irrelevant. It'd still be pretty formidable, but it'd be on the defensive now, instead of playing global whack-a-mole against threats that might crop up.)

I don't think all the internet politics has been doing me any good 2bh.

>>54954
There is not much fundamental change in history anyway, as I said I'm more talking about the change of the "mask", e. g. the USA under Biden might shift to a more Keynesian economy style in some regards, in some way patching up the bruises until in the conflict with China a new economy crisis manifests itself. But will people turn less political than during the Trump area, will there be less homeless people, will cough syrup and crystal meth and opioids, how will pop culture change etc.? Similar process respectively for the EU, China, Nigeria, Brazil etc.

>>54956
*will cough syrup and crystal meth and opioids continue to spread

>>54954
Isn't it still too early to tell that this crisis is over? The economic fallout of this pandemic still isn't being entirely felt by people. A great economic crisis looms in the horizon and it may very well interact with other factors in creating greater political and societal instability. The 2008 crisis had this happening in various countries, but now new factors are at play. Different countries will surely have different responses to it, but it seems premature to write COVID off as solved and done for. The time has not yet come to pay for the damage it unleashed.

>>54958
Nothing will change. People will and have always reacted against their own interest and will continue to do so. People will rather rage and destroy what they have because they think it will change things for the better rather then building on what they have. They complain about the current government and then vote for the opposition because that will surely show them. The opposition then do things they want and people are contempt with then new because it isn't the old they say. Don't worry about the economy. It will mean nothing when the north of Africa gets turned into a desert, the sand mafia has plundered the last sandbanks for construction making sea life there impossible, and the Chinese fishing locust swarm has emptied the rest of the sea.

>>54956
In regards of culture I think the polarisation of western societies into two sets of insane cults, sjw wokeness on one side and trumpist and Qanon tier people on the other, which is emanating from the US, is going to have a much bigger impact.

>>54956
I will tell you however that one thing which it did was develop strong class consciousness in me. Plaguetimes have historically been known to do that. That's the thing here is that January 6th was basically just people railing against the system which to the rest of us looked like them fighting for massah. Oh yes massah we'll execute Pence for you thank you massah for no pardon good massah. Meanwhile they're pissed off about the liberals being all yes massah I'll do what the media say. So see the thing is a fundamental disagreement is just on who is fighting for massah when in reality all of us hate massah but are divided on what to do about it but largely all fucking hate it.

I'd say that people downplaying it maybe just lived on normal countries like Germany. It was fuckin wild here. Coronavirus created this huge cognitive shift among us. A lot of people went deep down this other retarded rabbit hole to where they were holding mask burning rallies in Idaho just to virtue signal because Idaho had no fucking mask mandate to begin with. They think we're fighting for massah because we don't want to catch Chinese lung AIDS and we in turn see them as fighting for massah Zognald.

It has radically changed me in my politics and views of others around me because I never saw such mass stupidity in my life and 2020 verbalized a lot of shit that was left unsaid before including our real relationship to our employers. I'm far less hostile to the State itself after the fact ironically enough because the government is the only thing that helped me. I think those bailouts was the smartest thing they ever did and it prevented mass rioting and insurrection.

>b-but you guys did have riots and insurrections

Oh no we didn't. Not like the disaster Scenario 3 type situation I was worried on happening. The bailouts effectively helped to prevent a civil war here. That was a very real and distinct possibility and a lot of us already had target acquisitions both left and right. I'm really surprised no water plants, electric grids, or other pieces of infrastructure or federal buildings got bombed in all this and even still we had some guy bomb a fuckin AT&T station because he thought it had something to do with NSA and the Deep State or whatever if I recall correctly.

Culturally speaking I think that in countries like Brazil and America there's a lot of things that been a long time coming and we have a huge cultural shift. Yeah yeah Biden wants to unite us sure. I do know a lot of us are weary of the drama and disunity under Trump, granted. When Biden led from the stance of "just look at the time unity and peace" I think his rhetoric calmed a lot of things down because we were tired of the politics shit about everything down to our breakfast eggs now made political. That being stated we're more divided than ever as a country and I think it's only a matter of a ticking time bomb before some folks on right and left realize we despise massah, they don't give two shits about us, and other lower class people we maybe didn't like before because of something stupid like race are still each other's kin at end of the day in a way the elites are not.

You have to understand I personally witnessed and expeirence that feeling of basically getting told point blank to go fuck ourselves and the very raw feeling of being entirely abandoned. The early stages during the panic selling felt like nobody cared what happened to any of us. I think by the 6th of January another whole swath that was previously loyal figured out all those blue lines they adored tased their asses and got a real good taste of the true nature of the System. It has left us all jaded and disaffected and even if I otherwise hate somebody there's still more in common between me and a hoodrat or working cholo or redneck in a sense than ever will be among some oligarch.

It's a difficult sense of things to verbalize especially when I'm trying real hard to not go off on some tangent that could invite US kulturkampcer upon the board. To this day I feel a raw wound of being told in no uncertain terms I do not matter to the company, I am as replaceable as a mortally injured coalminer, I will work without protection and get infected and if that happens too bad and then I can go and get evicted and be homeless until I'm tased told to stop resisting and get thrown in jail where everyone else is getting the virus to spread around.

It is real hard to take issue with certain things in a game like The Division now. I could not bring myself to hate the leader of Rikers gang. I cannot imagine what being in prison in all this was like and we had prison riots by the end of it. Carlin was right. They don't care about us at all, at all, at all.

The sole thing stopping the shittrain from becoming a shitwreck was those gibes. It paradoxically made me loyal to some aspects of society and the system I never was before. That program helped me thrive throughout all this when without passage of those bills I'd be rioting with tens of millions of people otherwise.

This will take decades to heal in the psyche of Americans. Notice I say Americans because I feel like our situation was a bit different in both ends. The best and the worst of murica came out. They printed us billions of dollars. I'm in a better situation now than I ever was in 2019 hell in years. Millions and millions are far worse off. Due to various pecularities I feel like other than stimulus money Brazilians are the more likely to have similar feels. I'd imagine a lot of less stable governments will fall. In our case Trump fell and despite memes about our democracy some aspects of it are indeed muh stable democracy, though to this day a lot of people remain confused thinking it got stolen, when the truth of the matter is it was rigged from the start. The Israelis got their pardons and their money. Nobody gets far in a primary race without that loyalty imho. Those people that believe it got stolen will forever be hostile after this. Those that voted Bernie will also be hostile. Many of those that voted Biden will also be hostile including folks like BLM they simply went with the stable guy they thought would steer the ship at least from hitting more icebergs.

In EU I'd imagine you guys are going to be fine with fewer changes. The only two places I can even think of having long lasting cultural impacts are Germany and Britain, and that is only maybe. Other states like Russia, India, Brazil, and America will remain much more fractious and unstable. Those who had truly strong institutions and sociocultural bonds like EU and China will only be stronger. Those of us with third world tier problems only got worse.

I cannot emphasize to you enough how much those bailouts for ordinary Americans literally saved America. Again for emphasis, January 6th was not an insurrrection and BLM was not riots. I'm talking about literally the kind of shit you see only in videogames and movies got averted here with plague gibes and even then to this very day people are salty about everything enough that it won't take much to push us over the edge.

I think that certain things like Russia and India will be very internally weak now. Russia may have stability solely because of grim fatalism. Their attitude in general seemed to be a complete lack of regard for health and safety in not caring about corona, at least from my vantage point.

The biggest takeway is I think for some of us we now see clear as day what the world looks like when government does and does not work, and that in some places we have universal distrust of our own institutions or powerful groups. I personally got fairly radicalized by the end, in a totally opposite direction to what I expected. Millions got radicalized in other directions. The MAGA folks in one, and black people radicalized in another, but at the end of the day no one here really maintains their bland previous views afaik.

>>54962
Tl;dr I think the pandemic almost turned me into a damn tankie of all things

>>54950
Well let me put it to you this way I traveled a long ass way on the politcal compass from this and having suffered nonstop shortages I got lied to and told could only happen to something like Communism which doesn't work, well what does that tell me? It tells me international Capitalism does not work. Nationalization is not the same as nationalism. The old neocon and neolib way is dead like you said. We STILL have shortages everywhere in stupid things.

>>54960
I think you're thinking of the old. You may still be right. BLM and Qtards got more radicalized. It's a Syria situation. My entire stance used to be more libertarian. If it could make me sympathetic to tankies I cannot imagine the impact it had on the left. Like others said, this is premature. There's still a huge international economic crisis looming. Still a stock market collapse possible, currency devaluation. Who knows what that will do. But I really do think the idpol bullshit has lost its teeth. It was literally first world problems. The SJWs and the Qtards have both fucked us.

>>54955
I excluded China from the "rest of the world" in my post, so I agree with what you said. China went well through it so far. Consequences in other countries due to Covid could have an impact on China nonetheless and yes, they have other issues.

>a pandemic is more real than capitalism if you get what I'm saying.

Yeah, the pandemic would have to be faced by any form of government, yet in the west the health sector and other critical infrastructure are privatized to varying degrees. Maybe that will change again. But I was not only talking about health and pandemic/catastrophic emergencies and what is needed to solve such emergencies. Europe aims for homeland lithium extraction, a smelter, etc. Teslas batteries are dependant on a lithium smelter in China afaik, a smelter in the US for a big market of the future (batteries) could pay off very well and make the US independent of foreign supply chain nodes in addition. Currently China wants to make its own (micro) chips. The supply chain for digital devices (or chips so to speak) is scattered over the planet but these three powers (US, EU, China) aim for autonomy, digitality is treated as major future issue.
So we have some kind of nationalist comeback and I think this goes hand in hand with the role of the state as a more controlling entity being stressed. Yet the EU won't give up free market concepts, it still wants a global free market that benefits the EU in the end. I think it is really funny how people paint this turn of the EU or nation-states as red/commie, because some id pol is going on.
As mentioned in posts before, I go through 1980s history atm (albeit slowly) and even more into the future it might is very well possible that we get historiography that is able to comprehend it in a larger period as we can now. There are signs that as seems new to us right now (not covid) is not so new but already reaches farther back in certain instances. I think an interesting twist could be that while neoliberalism is not fond of the state (only as guarantor of market/laws) the Chinese model can be a model for the state as a regulator that is at least partly adapted by western states now. Also kinda comical, the state lets capital roam free and in the end, has to regulate it in order to keep it running until people forget it and the economy calls for another deregulation.

The US as global hegemon seems over, but what we get is what is commonly called multipolar world, no?

>>54958
I thought so as well during the pandemic, rn now it seems like we are slowly getting back to normal, but maybe there is an aftershock, once the state support ends.

>>54960
This could have been diagnosed in the 1980s as well, feminism/former lefts turning more green, social movements and participatory politics on the rise, while the new right gained traction, even won conflicts, the new right, not in its extreme forms ofc, won certain battles, for example, the marketization of realms formerly untouched by profit motives (science for example).
The fringes get more dominant and plastic, politicization is quite strong, but that does not mean sich times haven't been there before.

Just a fun fact concerning left and right and ideologies, there is an argument that our "post-truth" age (take it or leave it, I just quote here) is not a consequence of postmodernism but of the concept of the "market of ideas" ('selling' ideas, the best idea gets bought, truth in consequence and from the outlook of the present, won't matter) that is a concept developed on the conservative end of the spectrum.

The final redpill is that Plato was right.
We need philosopher kings. Dictators who are too autistic to be corruptible.

In fact, only autistic schizo philosophers should be allowed into politics, and once a person gets initiated, they lose the right to own property or be autonomous people, and are sent to a prison island where they argue and vote on policy for the rest of their lives.

You could say this could be replaced by an AI, but I don't trust AIs.

>>54965

> China went well through it so far

How? Just because they say so doesn't mean it is so. They have outlawed any mention of Covid so ofcourse they have no cases.

>>54965
The idea that post-truth is a consequence of capitalism has always been obvious to me. Because that's what capitalism does: strips away all non-economic value from categories, and replaces it with market value. Under capitalism, nothing has inherent or ethical or sentimental or ideological value, only market value. Same applies to ideas. This is basic Marxism.
I've always maintained that postmodernism is not a philosophy or an ideology, but merely an observation of what's happening.

It's funny that people who post right wing memes like "clown world" correctly identify the problem, but attribute it to academics who are merely describing it. When the real cause is just capital doing its thing.

What right wingers actually want is a return to the premodern zeitgeist when reality had a comforting narrative. What they don't get is that it is no longer possible.

Progressives, on the other hand, are stuck in modern thinking. As in, they think that just because the current zeitgeist replaced the old one, it is "better". They think that history is linear, therefore whoever adopts the most contemporary stance, is on the "right side of history"

It's funny that in this postmodern age, political climate is defined by the opposition of modernity vs premodernity

>>54959
I think it can go beyond mere social democratic electoral rotativism, in my view that's the most realistic best case scenario. The economy's health is the most crucial factor in ensuring political stability as I think it is the only force that can drive people into despair. Every other factor seems almost circumstantial, compared to people feeling like they have no way out of a worsening poverty - as the government struggles to extract more blood from this stone in order to keep a semblance of economy running while tourism doesn't return to its pre-corona levels.

>>54967
Thats complete bullshit.
Every small outbreak is reported and strict measures are taken to handle it.
I have friends in Shanghai and Wuhan and know from first hand accounts how they handle outbreaks.

That whole "the ebul ebul chinese are lying"-bullshit is just cognitive dissonance by westerner you cant handle the fact that china dealt with something they couldnt deal with.

>>54968
I agree and am impressed that I never saw postmodernism the way you just described it. But it looks obvious now that you say it.

It tends to piss me off. When you learn that all your beliefs and tastes are just a way to make you buy the outcome of production is depressing. In my country, you don't even need to help the production process at all, nearly everyone is working on the third sector, so our working time is spent to organise the consumption of production. And some people search purpose in ideas. But they'll never be able to get satisfied beacause the only consequence of their quest is a materielisation of the idea in the market. I try to cope with philosophical lucidity.

Everyone think he's an individual nowadays, it's false in my humble opinion. I think this is also unique in history. The multiplicity of myths -caused by capitalism- makes people think they are their own self, but they are just the avatars of the myths they have been exposed to, like people always were. We are just more alone. But individuals still exist in the exact same way they always existed, the ones who surpassed the myth, created their own. They are just a rare occurence.

>>54970

> Every small outbreak

No doubt they only have small outbreaks related to foreigners. Also how can it be reported on if it is forbidden to mention it?

>>54972
Here have a news article from China about the recent outbreaks in Liaoning and Anhui.

https://news.sina.com.cn/c/2021-05-15/doc-ikmyaawc5394354.shtml

You shouldnt talk about things you have no clue about.

>>54971
The liberal philosophy that accompanies capitalism has a certain range of what it thinks an individual is, same for freedom, etc. There are different conceptions of individuality, freedom, etc. So indeed, what is given out ahistoric fact has a history and is thus more or less "unique" as you said.
Wish I could say more about the function of the myth today, people really thought they can get rid of such functions that easily. I came across Linus Hausers "Kritik der neomythischen Vernunft"(Bd. 1-3), not sure if I will ever read it, but I'm keen to hear arguments on how science builds on myths and might even have theological components.

>>54972
I'm not sure what is forbidden exactly, but China gives numbers to the WHO at least.

t. different Ernst

>>54967
I don't remember the allmighty perfect west doing 10 million pre-emptive tests over a city having ~10 cases or welding doors shut. (That and having passport checks between districts.)
Just fucking accept it already that after the initial storm they did well because unlike the west they choose a zero compromise approach thanks to their political structure. They reaped the benefits of it and there's no amount of butthurt will change this fact.
Covid has been a bane for a year because instead of proper lockdowns we have been doing these retarded compromises where stuff stays open and everyone who wants to can use loopholes to get out of restrictions.

>Outlawed mentioning covid

But it's not outlawed. You can look up covid-19 in the Chinese editions of both Xinhua and People's Daily and it's written about.
Stop believing low IQ "chinawatchers".

>>54974

>but I'm keen to hear arguments on how science builds on myths and might even have theological components.

I would advise you to read Solaris (again?). The subject is treated in a way I have never seen anywhere else.

It's mating season, and alligator activity has increased. They move around to find each other, so it's the best time of year to see them up close, rather than as simply eyes floating in the water. I spotted these two this morning. I'm not sure if their intentions were romantic, or if they were simply enjoying the warm sun. Either way, he looks happy. Or she. I can't tell.

>>54977
This alligator was about a half-mile from the other two.

>>54971
Wish I didn't accidentally nuke my journal a few years back, I had pages upon pages written on postmodernism.

I could half assedly remember what I wrote, but it wouldn't be the same without the psychotic schizomania fueling my ramblings.

Visited kohl out of curiosity.
It's fascinating.

I've long held the belief that human information exchange can be modeled by the same rules as signal theory. Most obvious analogy being audio.

My go to analogy used to be deviant art. Why are there so many incomprehensible and abhorrent fetishes on that website? Because it's an echo chamber. It's a closed environment where no new signals are introduced, and the same signals just bounce back and forth. What happens when a signal is added to the same signal? It is amplified. So fetishes and marginal beliefs get more extreme. And when this process of the same signal feeding into itself is repeated long enough, you get high pitched noise. The signals zero in on a common pitch that gets louder and louder. Anyone who has ever put a microphone next to a speaker will know hat I'm talking about. Information is destroyed while noise is amplified, resulting in a high pitch whine.

Things speaking to themselves repeatedly until all you have left is distortion. This is what you can see with weirdo fetishes on deviant art. Without an outside signal to reassert normality, you end up with amplified noise. Like sonic the hedgehog toilet transformation art, or Elsa and spiderman fart fetishes.
The same process is happening on kohl. With all the normal people gone after the death of KC, the retards just feed off each others retardation.
So you have people sincerely wondering if a covid vaccine will alter their DNA or give them dick cancer, or inject them with a bill gates mind control chip.

It is scary to think about, but I myself know that humans build their model of reality based on the signals they are exposed to. At the peak of my schizo isolation, I thought that physical reality ended beyond my field of view.

But fuck kohl, who cares about them right. But the problem is that social media fosters this exact kind of echo chamber thinking, through their content curation algorithms. No wonder everyone is so polarized right now. They live in different subjective realities.
What people hoped the Internet would do, it ended up doing the exact opposite.

>>54980
Aren't you basically describing Plato's Cave?

>>54973
>>54974
>>54975
To be fair there have been a few cases of disappearing, trialed or intimidated bloggers (or rather vloggers I guess?) reporting on maladministrations concerning how covid-19 was dealt with in their areas.
This is of course not equal to some kind of full on ban on the overall topic in general.

>>54985
Was this during the beginning/at the height of the Chinese outbreak or did this happen "lately"?

>>54986
February 2020; one woman was sentenced to 4 years of prison in december 2020 for her reporting in February.
I didn't dive deep enough into this to know if they really worked on their own or established some Hongkong connections through it or something like that.

>>54973

> You shouldnt talk about things you have no clue about.
> .cn domain

>>54974
Nothing is forbidden to talk about as long as you keep to the party line.

>>54975
I only believe the high IQ ones. Also they had to do something because the major fuckup in the beginning. Seriously Baghdad Bob would be envious.

> everyone who wants to can use loopholes to get out of restrictions.

May I suggest you vote for a less corrupt regime next time then.

Booked an appointment for an antibody-test. I'm genuinely curious, since I felt like so shit at times I was actually afraid that this thing might kill me if I catch it, so it would be nice to know if I'm safe or not.

Chinese oral exam went well I think. Definitely wasn't as bad as the one last semester. No idea about the actual results.
Greek Grundprüfung was actually amazing, but it was all down to luck since I was given a relatively simple sentence without genitivus absolutus or double-accusativus so I could actually explain the grammar and translate it. There was a list of sentences below mine, and I'm going to say that the lecturer could have fucked me over a lot harder if he wanted to.
I'm not proud of myself.

I re-watched recently a classic Hungarian cartoon, and I realised how I never actually read the poem it was based on, so I sought out a copy. Found one for like 70 cents. It's a pamphlet from 1940 or 1941. (Only know this date because it has an advertisement for the 1941 book-week.)
It's quite an experience to hold something like this, mainly because how many subtle differences it has compared with contemporary language use. (I'm speaking strictly about the advertisements and the accompanying essay, the poems themselves are like 200 years old, but even those have unusual linguistic qualities that you'd not find a scarce 10-20 years later in literature, like calling a chapter "Levonás" (lit. down-pull) instead of "Felvonás" (up-pull.)
It's good fun.

>>54988

>"It's forbidden to talk about covid in China"
>Gets shown that it's not true and state media reports on it
>Somehow it being a .cn domain is supposed to make the evidence worthless

>Vote for a less corrupt regime

Take your head out of your ass please, Mr. "Lives in a neutral model democracy with no lockdowns".

>>54965

>nationalist
>EU

Does not compute. Unless you mean it turning into some janky kind of USA tier federal state than pan-European confederation.

>>54966
I was immediately going to argue with that on what insanity such a thing could produce but then

>they lose the right to own property or be autonomous people, and are sent to a prison island where they argue and vote on policy for the rest of their lives.

I honestly cannot find fault in this. I intuitively know somehow this system must fail eventually but that's really hard to argue against. Their kids if they should have issue can't own any property either and it's an elected position I don't know.
>>54949
Depends on which system you are using honestly

>>54968
There is literally no such thing as "post truth." It's just another way for liars to say that they are lying while trying to normalize their lies. It would be like allowing pedophiles try and talk "child love" no you sick pathological fucks you do not get to gaslight us about your depravity. They're nothing but pathological liars and the cure for it should be frequent beatings.

>>54970
That is honestly one of the biggest cringiest goddamn things ever here and moreover it's allowing CCP propaganda to get away with the fact it was CHYNA that started this whole shit. It's cringey in ways you wouldn't even fucking believe because basically America fucked up and so it's become this giant seething ball of internal contradictions to deal with the fact we got hit by a deadly Chinese virus except we failed spectacularly to contain it, and so now everyone is gaslighting themselves about the most ridiculous bullshit imaginable right down to literally using almost word for word what was literal Chinese state propaganda back in like January 2020 only now it's Americans who are using it.

>it doesn't kill anyone they just died of pneumonia kidney failure

Yeah my ass. See this right here pisses me off even more because it's a perfect opportunity for us to wail on the Chinese, I mean really beat the absolute living shit out of them on world stage, just push their fucking shit straight in and accelerate isolating them diplomatically through trade and politics because who wants to catch the next coof, but instead I am surrounded by the most asinine chucklefucks imaginable quite literally playing ball for the CCP but too goddamn stupid to realize it. They somehow act like if they just pretend we didn't fuck up, no one else is going to notice either. God why is mankind so stupid? Why couldn't you make him smart and wise instead? Jesus

>>54981
No.
Plato's cave alludes to a more divine type of understanding, seeing the ideal behind the material.
whereas what I'm talking about is how consistently feeding erroneous data into the mind will distort its conception of reality.

>>54994

>I honestly cannot find fault in this. I intuitively know somehow this system must fail eventually but that's really hard to argue against. Their kids if they should have issue can't own any property either and it's an elected position I don't know.

I was beeing cheeky. The obvious flaw is the "who watches the watchers" problem.
Power vacuums are always filled, so if we strip politicians of their power, the people handling the politicians will instead have the power. Everyone would have to somehow agree to implement the prisoner-politicians rulings, without dismissing or distorting them.

>There is literally no such thing as "post truth."

Well, we're talking about the phenomenon of "post truth", rather than whether there is / isn't real truth or not.
It's not that truth doesn't exist anymore, it's just that nobody cares about it. It's all about pushing a narrative. Human brains are story telling machines. A compelling story convinces more people than a well structured argument ever could.

>>54995
And I am saying directly that even the concept of "post truth" is an attempt by pathological liars to distort and destroy the very concept of truth. No there are not competing narratives. No there is not such a thing as an "alternative fact." You're either lying or telling the truth. You are either a lover of lies or a lover of truth. There is no in between it is binary. The truth does not go away simply because you choose to not look at it or stop believing in it.

>>54997
I agree.

But you're confusing an observation with an assertion.
It is plainly observable that in the current media climate, nobody actually cares about truth. The idea of truth being something important or having power to convince is going away.

In fact, there's so much information out there that discerning truth is practically impossible. All you have is collections of facts. You can carefully select a collection of facts, while omitting others, and paint a narrative, without technically having lied.

>>54994

>Does not compute. Unless you mean it turning into some janky kind of USA tier federal state than pan-European confederation.

The European Union is not a nation as such, but as the EU is taken as an actor of relevance in geopolitics and there is an idea of a European identity, which resembles nationalism, or let's say it's euro patriotism.

>There is literally no such thing as "post truth."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-truth

>a philosophical and political concept for "the disappearance of shared objective standards for truth"[1]

Post-thruth indicates a disappearance of the binarity you uphold, so I think you don't really understand what post-truth means, it does not mean that there is no truth anymore.
I think the polarization or politicization of the last years is an indicator for a struggle of what is real, an ontological question in the end: we fight over what is and ofc this question is enormous and there is much at stake in a debate over what is and what is not.

>>55000
I see post truth as liberating in a way.
In a world where's no universal standard for truth, one is free to assert his own truth upon the world.

>>55001
Then maybe you don't have a problem with that concept for a reason.

>>54998
Except these competing narratives are based in part or wholly on lies. Trannyism is one spectacular example and half the reason I hate it so much. It ultimately requires 1984 level of no, it is not important that you say you love Big Brother before you die, but that you believe it. Likewise everything that happened with poltards and Qanon. They know that they are lying, they just don't care, and push it because they are afraid of how bad the truth makes them look. The pandemic, climate change, and just anything to do with Qtardism is an excellent baseline example of people that worship the lie and hate the truth. It isn't a competing narrative. If I were to gaslight the whole board into believing you're a pedophile elite infiltrator because I personally became butthurt with you for example, that isn't a "competing narrative" that is an agenda. You do not need a single shred of facts to back up having a personal agenda. Likewise, agendas usually are filled with some amount of lies.

>In fact, there's so much information out there that discerning truth is practically impossible.

Trying to call the temporary Kali Yuga status of society where knowledge increases but wisdom decreases some sort of new normal is itself exemplary of disintegration. It's a historically brief but violent antichrist sort of period. The difference is truth has legs. Lies will never have the longevity truth does because a truth is eternal, and an agenda dies with you.

I want people to stop judging me for drinking baltika 9 in gym locker rooms. Or on the streets. Or mall bathrooms. Or on the bus.

Why the fuck nobody but me does this? There's 1 and a half million people in this city. Nevermet a degenerate of my level.

In the northernmost region of Portugal, this river flows from the Gerês mountains. Nice place.

>>55002
Sorry, I am the master of my fate.
My ultimate goal is to be a big dick nitzchean ubermensch who asserts his own reality upon the world, and makes everyone else live by my definitions. I am the creator of axioms.
God is dead. Which means his throne is there for the taking.

actually, I'm not a master of anything and I don't assert shit
instead I live in my own private reality that I invented for myself

I larp as a nitzchean superman, but I'm actually a self absorbed recluse, also I have depersonalization

>>55003
It's because a) it's not as common as you think and b) they have the social and emotional wherewithal to recognize exactly what's happening to you would happen and hide it. During my last worst alcobydlo stages I was doing precisely the same kind of stupid shit only I always hid it. Like use a stall you moron. If you absolutely insist on drinking publicly then don't be so butthurt people are judging you. They should be judging you. It's not even as much because of being bydlo but because of your complete lack of discretion.

Like let me put it to you this way, yes somebody does sometimes give or receive a blowjob in a Michelin star restaurant bathroom. You'll notice however that nobody is giving anybody blowjobs in plain view. You'd likely judge somebody just as harshly for fucking in thr street like animals rather than at least have the capacity to conceal it. It's your total lack of discretion they're really staring you down for doing and is the point between a sad personal problem that starts rumours and people actively wanting to give you shit for it. Like everybody picks their nose. People do not just waddle around the supermarket picking their nose in plain view and flicking the snot everywhere. You're turning an otherwise possible mild faux pais into an active and aggressive act of bydlodom.

Question to pop culture pros:

Why are Elvis doubles so overrepresented in any kind of media? Are they really the most numerous kind? I reckon there are also lots of Michael Jackson imitators, but if they aren't like three times the number of all the others, why are they just a popular subject? What lends them to being so worthy of ridicule?

>>55011

>pop culture pros
>EC

You might as well be asking me about USA ball throwers

But anyway I think that what it essentially boils down to is the fact that this was some big act in Las Vegas for awhile and that the tradition came from there mixed in with the fact he's both an old pop culture icon and he died. But I dunno. My basic assumption is it gained traction there and wasn't a thing with like John Lennon because essentially Vegas shows.

Also I'd just like to add on the thing about pop culture that Marilyn Monroe was a mob hit. She threatened to open her mouth after John was killed because of being lovers and CIA Permindexed his ass through the mob for various reasons.

>but what this have to do with the other

Las Vegas, the mob, and pop culture. It's only become more apparent to me with each passing year how sick and depraved my society is and has become, but more sadly always was. There is nothing about this place that isn't crooked and money worshiping somehow.

Sorry I've developed a rather unhealthy fixation on prisons videos and 60 Days In lately because reasons and I'm trying to not let it fill me with hate. It's basically just a Capitalist gulag system they're running and it reminds me strongly of all the things I got away from and rather deeply rooted hates from my experience with the system. It takes normal people and destroys them here alongside ensuring the bydlo gets even worse.

I'm still not quite at a Lot stage though because I (likely wrongly) think there could be something here that could be salvaged, also I hate China more than any society on earth so I'm not too happy about the replacement.