I am never going to drop gaming hopefully. I've "invested" probably thousands of dollars into my collection at this point. I wish it was all hard copies like the good old days, but still.
Of course I am now at the midway point to my life so I may end up dropping altogether anyway, considering I'm already half dead, which leaves me wondering constantly if I should be wasting my time doing this or that although I find it a far more pertinent question what I am doing for professional life or education than what I am actually doing with my freetime, which given the difference between vidyas and television really it only boils down to the functionality of a TV show becomes something to chitchat about, like sports. But do you think I am ever actually going to waste my life on something as pointlessly mundane and retarded as watching sports so I can make meaningless smalltalk with the bydlo I so despise? Fuck no. In fact if anything I've come to a much fuller appreciation to how much I actually hate people and how feel are not only worthy of trust, but even so much as worth me spending any time at all associating with.
A lot of it has come down to the pandemic though, which has at times subtly or radically changed me and my outlook on life. Which would I rather do, deal with people I fundamentally distrust and want nothing to do with, or do what I actually want to do like a personal project, play vidya, read a story or some other type of good book, learn a new skill or trade, and better myself, my education, my life? Of course sobriety has ultimately played a major part in that too but towards the very end I was doing things like shitposting on casey in barsitself one of the worst wastes of life I could have engaged in along with the internet altogether, and another fundamental reason I try not to go anywhere but EC because normalfags, zoomers, boomers, and various other trash made everything from reddit to the *chans as insufferable and retarded as twitter and FB, hence not wanting anything to do with these pointlessly idiotic faggots on their shitty little discords either
and just drinking so hard to obliterate myself on purpose solely because while I was drunk to the point of stumbling no matter how shitfaced I got I still realized I wasn't drunk enough to enjoy being around other people. This creeping realization happened harder and harder as I got drunker and drunker until I finally reached the point of recognizing and admitting to myself none of these people are my friends, none of them are legitimately trustworthy, and next to none of them ever would have either my or each other's backs to end with.
So now I play vidya. I rarely shitpost anymore unless someone finally bested my in terms of me actually being baited into arguing with them. So much as arguing with others I see as personal loss now. If somebody wants to drink contaminated water and die so let them. As long as their idiocy doesn't provide immediate threat to me or my immediate group or family there's no reason to engage, and likewise unless one person is deliberately trashing my experience of something don't engage. If you do need to engage be as heartlessly cold blooded and ruthless as possible until the annoyance stops moving.
The worst part is if you actually need help with something most people are useless, and I realized how bad most "gamers" really are. They're horrible people who don't deserve girlfriends or to be happy in life. I've simply accepted most people share the hell they made for themselves. I simply want them to stop polluting mine, and gamers as in Gamers, the retarded faggots using it as an identity, are thoroughly often people and incredible morons.
I may as well just get a cabin in an arctic circle someday if I ever am able to, unless I can find the final frontier to flee to. The hordes will follow us anywhere, even if we have to kick over every bookshelf behind us to slow them down. I may find educated, decent, moral people someday, but I know that this day is not that day and so I'll play vidya. Why am I suddenly getting such strong deja vu