/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

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No. 6054 Systemkontra
353 kB, 1920 × 1276
You know the game. Share your daily sufferings.
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No. 6056
102 kB, 252 × 265
My father started assembling a wardrobe yesterday, and the old one was moved into the kitchen.
The prole bastard didn't finish it of course and fucked off to "work" today, so I had to move the old wardrobe out of the house alone.
Of course he took the tools too, so I instead of disassembling it I just took out the wardrobe into the garden and smashed it to pieces with a hammer.
I mean fuck, relatives are coming and everything needs to be cleaned, you don't leave half done work just there.
I'm beyond simple anger, honestly.
I've never produced a string of profanities this long in my entire life.
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No. 6083
I feel like there is so much to do and I can't keep up.
Also yesterday and today I did not have any motivation to read something challenging which means no work done for my papers or the workshop.

I would like to just watch a flick or read something that interests me more than my uni work.
I just got a book about the (cultural) history of cybernetics. Yum.

Maybe have a stroll with a friend, drinking a few bears later, but maybe not.

I wonder how to overcome cynicism and engage in a future again, without falling in the trap of the 20th century.
>>
No. 6084
I feel pendulum-esque. One minute I'm riding on a mental high, feeling like I could rule the world without problems, and the next I'm the usual lethargic sack of crap. It's weird too since it's not parabolic but goes from zero-100 instantly, I can jump mid-depressive thought to laughing and having a surge of confidence. I think I'm losing my marbles again tbh.
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No. 6086
>>6083
Try to wash, shave and wear clean clothes everyday.
Walking outside is great for your mind.
Not motivated drink a coffee, this is good preparation, try to find a book you like.
I find timing your meals is a good way to structure.
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No. 6087
>>6086
>Try to wash, shave and wear clean clothes everyday.

I do so.

>Walking outside is great for your mind.

I only left the house for groceries and some minor walkings in the past 7 days. Now it is too dark to read outside, might grap a bottle of beer and just sit outside and relax a bit to get the head free of gathering information

>try to find a book you like.

I have many but I read like 3-4 books I like already while also reading for uni/workshop

>Not motivated drink a coffee, this is good preparation
>I find timing your meals is a good way to structure.

Now that you say I forgot my coffee two days in a row because I got up so late which is another thing getting out of hand again.
I rarely eat anything and not properly because of reasons. Kitchen should be cleaned, too.

Maybe my body and mind need a break. I was reading 5-9h per day in the past week
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No. 6089
>>6087
were you reading with purpose actions without purpose are pointless, even if they seem good.
I still like a good walk every day.
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No. 6090
Drinking coffee and reading august 7 volume of Annals of Internal Medicine
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No. 6093
>>6089
I'm gathering information for my papers and the upcoming workshop mostly but I also read stuff I'm just interested in like novels.

If you read a 40 pages article but have to note down direct and indirect quotations or comments it takes a little longer ofc I'm using electronic software to keep old of my notes/small time excerpts
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No. 6094 Kontra
>>6093
Also I have opened the beer but now plan to read a short article I'm just interested in while sipping it.

This information overflow is doing more harm than good I suppose.
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No. 6102
476 kB, 1280 × 720
cleaned chimney today.
played a few games of chess, all won; bad opponent (my 69 y.o. uncle); not much fun.
visited birthday party. was fun. drank a few beers. quite drunk atm, tbh.
i feel like my life is doing quite fine atm. some problems; even some i don't dare to talk about. but life good. keep goin' forward.

the noise, constant »peep«, is annoying, thou…
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No. 6107
116 kB, 1413 × 565
>>6102
The main problem with living on a starship seems to me the complete claustrophobia of being shut in with a bunch of other people with nowhere to escape to.

I am supposing it will take much cleverness to overcome these psychological problems in any kind of long journey ship, much of which I expect to have been solved by studies on submariners in order to determine and maintain psychological fitness. This will, of course, change dependent on whether you have future generations being born on this mobile habitat. It is probably the main thing most people don't think about: we aren't going to get these expansive lonely arks like in your pic related, which would be incredibly comfy.

Do you think forced integration or allowing various areas for crew members to seclude and isolate themselves would be more beneficial to the mission?
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No. 6110
Damn it, why didn't you guys tell me that alcohol breath reeks from three metres away. My auntie gave me an earful for showing up at her house drunk.
In fact, I bet all three of my aunts, uncles, and granny noticed, but didn't say anything.
If mom hears of this she'll kick my ass.
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No. 6111
613 kB, 541 × 700
Is there people on board who love anthro animals? If is, we can talk about them! Intelligent way, not dumping porn for no reason of cource. I still don't know if should I create threda, maybe I only one so called ""furry"" (don't like that word much) on board.
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No. 6113
>>6110
We have been telling you to stop drinking (or at least I have). Yes every one of them noticed. They both smelled it and noticed it in your behavior. You're not as sly as you think.
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No. 6114
150 kB, 600 × 500
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No. 6115
235 kB, 800 × 1000
458 kB, 1476 × 499
>>6111
I do not like anthro or "furry" drawings. I do however like monstergirls.
I like the role-play, but not the actual images in depictions of anthro animals.
If something is over 50% animal (that is not human) then I will tend to dislike it as usually it will
have an Anthro face which I find very disturbing.

As for whether you should create a "furry" thread, I recommend not as it will draw in the wrong crowd (i.e
probably the reason you do not like the word "furry").

Also, what do you think about the second image? Does "furry" make you pidor?
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No. 6116
44 kB, 939 × 423
63 kB, 499 × 643
I stayed up all night studying NATO Joint Doctrine and advanced application of Joint Military Symbology. I have no particular reason to do so, it just interested me at the time. That feel when want to read STANAG-1241 and STANAG-2691 but they're classified. Rate time wasting. Also, why is Germany so autismal with their formation titles? Everybody else has one or two per cell pretty much :-D

>>6110
They knew. You can smell a drunk from a surprising distance.
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No. 6117
>>6113
Man, I feel horrible about myself.
Drunk 12 cans throughout the day yesterday.

Why do I need to get intoxicated and disappoint my family just to function normally? I hate being sober because I hate being a schizo assburger who can't even smile or hold a conversation.

The only thing I'm looking forward to right now is going home, hopefully getting my paycheck and getting smashed. Sober life is literally not worth living. So far I see absolutely no downsides to being drunk other than the eventual liver failure and financial ruin. I'm just a better person in general while intoxicated. More talkative, more polite, more cheerful. People even have said they like me more rather than my normal assburger self.

How do I tell my aunt that I need to bum some money for the bus off her since I drank it all away yesterday?
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No. 6118 Kontra
>>6117
From someone with years of experience, remember to eat, force yourself to eat or you will regret it.
Most people go through this stage between 18-25.
At least you haven't started drinking vodka.
It is your right to get pissed and feel sorry for yourself, but shit happens and no one gives a shit about your feelings.
Drink at the weekend, not every day.
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No. 6119
You know why that dumb cunt called me all the way here?
Because she wants me to "help" her with her amazing business idea of importing kitchenware from turkey and selling it through instagram. And by "help" I mean literally run the entire business on my own.

And what does she promise to pay me? 5% from the profits. In order for 5% to even reach the minimum wage salary I get doing less work for my brother, She'd have to sell 100 sets of cutlery a month. She's giving me 5% as if she's got millions in investments for that 5% to be anything more than lunch money.

You know the dumb bored past middle aged middle class housewife who is bored and wants to "run her own business", as in waste her husband's money while she pretends to be a "business lady"? She's that. She's too much of a dumb cunt for basic book keeping and REGISTERING ON GOD DAMN INSTAGRAM, and she thinks she can run a business? Well, I guess she knows she can't, that's why she's offering to pay me $100 a month for a full time job.

She's my least favorite aunt out of the three.

Fuck this, I'm getting the fuck out of here.
Or maybe I could ask her to pay me in advance, then fuck off and get some more beer and ghost her.
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No. 6120
>>6119
You are at the last stages before your alcoholism gets spooky. What do I mean by spooky? You'll know when you get there.

You don't function better. You function as much better on alcohol like you think nobody notices when you smell like it. You're probably just too drunk to notice they think you're being a cunt. Case in point bumming money for bus fare because you already drank your fare money. Anybody would be going "what a dumb cunt" at that point. On the plus side, it's still not too late to pull back. Otherwise you are very close to the point where you're going to start doing stupid shit like getting lost in random places after getting off the bus, being drunk in public, and eventually getting thrown into either a drunk tank or hospital for the night. After that you're probably going to do or say increasingly amazingly stupid things and go to jail or get locked up in a psych ward, at which point you physically can't drink at all for quite awhile. You will not be happy. You'll also have noticed extremely erratic moods and personality changes by that point, most likely involving no longer the happy drunk but the sad crying drunk or the angry yelling drunk (although it sounds to me like you've already passed that point).

You're also only using the pretense of "functioning better" to rationalize and enable your continued drinking so you don't have to face the reality of the consequences of your actions. Like right now, I'd say you're being a dumb shit. You don't want to admit you're being an irresponsible dumb shit but you still rationalize that you "function better". You can't even maintain something as simple as keeping track of bus ticket money. Not being stranded is a rather important thing.
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No. 6122
212 kB, 1280 × 720
676 kB, 1073 × 900
>>6107
>Do you think forced integration or allowing various areas for crew members to seclude and isolate themselves would be more beneficial to the mission?
i think the people who are allowed to join these very long journeys are getting screened throughout and only those who are capable of socializing without much need of isolation would be selected. some basic needs of isolation are in every human being. i would thing some areas are less populated and could be used as personal safe haven - e.g. the space green house (read a bit about some research about that they are doing in antarktis).

>>6115
like 2nd pic?

>>6120
>and eventually getting thrown into either a drunk tank or hospital for the night. After that you're probably going to do or say increasingly amazingly stupid things and go to jail or get locked up in a psych ward
i don't know how the laws are in kazakh, but in our country the "officials" are quite chill about drunk cunts. at worst they bring you home. (unless you need to go to a hospital or did some illegal shit while being drunk)
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No. 6125
>>6107
>>6122

Starships who operate like normal ships on the water, needing a huge crew to operate and be maintained are pure fiction that will never exist IRL.

Even if it was for colonizing other planets/systems the ships would rather be loaded
with a broad variety of DNA for cloning a new population after arrival.
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No. 6128
>>6122
>but in our country the "officials" are quite chill about drunk cunts

If you are aggressive drunk you will get thrown in the drunk tank at the police station as well

Also I agree with the American on the alcoholism analysis. Everybody that has been an alcoholic or knows them will agree I think.
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No. 6132
29 kB, 550 × 480
>>6115
>Also, what do you think about the second image? Does "furry" make you pidor?

I may say, that all that pics and all that thoughts where "furry" reffered as something concretical is sort of bullshit, that majority of people, and more than that, majority of of "furies" itself belive. Reality is that only thing that mark "furry" as group of people you can distinguish from others - is love to anthropomorphic animals. And therm "anthropomorphic animal" is very wide one, and even on this side it most often hard to conncet people with different preferences. Furry is just form of fetish (I'd say more, even different fetishes mixed into one therm) combined with personal aesthetic preferences, nothing more than that. Unlike community of movies, cartoons, games, books, anything - it hard to describe "furry" as community, since there no actual core, no actual idea around which "community" actually can be build.

However, there are people, which think that some sort of "community" exist. This "community" foremd in 90s, with creation of internet, around artists and find pictures and people with same fetishes, because, you know, with the creation of internet it was a miracle for many people find that it's not only his deviation and there other people who have same, there also artists who draw related pictures and comics, which was very hard to find before internet, as you may presume. But years go, and this "community" formed some sort of "subculture". And this "subculture" is most active part of all furries, around this was builded all stereotypes you try to show me now for example, other ones, all this events like furryCon and overall representation of "furry person" you can imagine is goes from this "subculture".

I don't like word "furry" since it used to representate actual people who in this "subculture", and I'am not in it and never was. I always wanted to somehow break this stereotypes, and to show that "furries" is something beyound this indfamous subculture and this community, make this fetish more neutral in eyes of people and break most stereotypes and some clishes that isn't actual absolute truth.

>I do not like anthro or "furry" drawings. I do however like monstergirls.

I personally not like moster girls. I not fan of "anime" style, and I find them in most times "lazy" design idea. As a person who formed his taste around scinece fiction and fantasy and other things, I like interesting and at least somehow logical consisten creature, that you easelly can imagine in real life, not human+some random animal parts. Unlike some opinions, I think that anime style of humans are far from real humans and actually deviation too, but I feel cold for this deviation most times, sadly. And I like to think about my favorite things as something far beyound porn - for me very important aesthetics and maybe some background. I interested in some real race of species more, than in porn dumb of random "furry" pictures, that most often have lazy design too.
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No. 6136
48 kB, 492 × 449
I've decided to tag along my family and visit that Chinese shopping mall they've talked about.
It was a lot of waste of time. Just a glorified market place with cheap sweets, clothes and other cheap garbage from China that breaks after you've used it twice.
Really low class shit.
I went there because I wanted to see if they have a tea set.
They had one, but they've said that it's just for decoration and not for sale.

I'm going to order one online, I've decided. I don't care if my mother says It'll break during delivery. It won't. If it fucking breaks, I'll just not pay for it, simple as that.
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No. 6138
>>6136
>Chinese shopping mall

How can we imagine it? How does it look like, what building etc?

I heared in czech republic you have these vietnamese markets and all. We only have people resell chinese stuff but not a whole market that is extra made for all kinds of chinese goods, at least from what I know. Or are even chinese people sell it?
I guess know nearly all over the world you get the typical chinese goods these days. like small aliexpress ventures you can frequent
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No. 6139
>>6138
It's like a regular mall, but every shop is run by the Chinese, selling cheap, pre-packaged Lebensmittel, but targeting the European consumer base.
Basically an overly fancy Chinese market.
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No. 6141
>>6115
Hold on, I've never heard the trope that Furries are commies and Monstergirls attract a nazi crowd. Is this some kind of meta humour?
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No. 6142 Kontra
>>6141
This is some kind of 4chan tier shit.
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No. 6143
>>6141
Weaboos, furries and other cosplayers have always adopted odd political identities. They seem to like the 'aesthetics' of them rather than the political substance though, so you end up with furries ironically dressed in SS officer uniforms and so on. Ironic since under any totalitarian regime they'd be first to get exterminated.
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No. 6146
>>6143
>since under any totalitarian regime they'd be first to get exterminated.
Nah. Most regimes start by sweeping out the intelligentsia and the bureaucracy, then they eliminate the inner political enemies from their own camp, and after that they might have time to kill off the "weird" people.
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No. 6154
>>6139
That sounds absolutely horrible. And the worst part, you know worldwide they are targeting naive and irresponsible women with their broken garbage. There should be a global boycott on Chinese goods just for the sheer crap quality. It is like they make these things to break on purpose.
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No. 6156
>>6154
>targeting naive and irresponsible women with their broken garbage
>women

I have taken out lots of Chinese mail to males during the short time I was postman.
Cheap Asian stuff is bought by both sexes.
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No. 6157
>>6136
There is one extremely popular sort of tea delivered from China.
It's called somewhat fancy, I don't remember, something like Yungnang 69.
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No. 6158
24 kB, 486 × 357
I just now told my father that I love him. or the irst time, in, like, forever. Maybe ever.
Because I really do.

He's the one who bought me all those dinosaur encyclopediea, all those BBC documentaries about biology and dinosaurs. If it were not for him, I wouldn't be the person that I am today.

I know he hurt my mother a lot, and left me scarred or life, but it's not his fault he's retarded. I asked him from the bottom of my heart to not hurt my mom ever again, since it makes me soul bleed every time he does. And I aksed him to not drink so much. I also thanked him for not drinking for two months straight, and told him I'm proud of him. I want to re-connect with him and fix our relationship. The moment I get my paycheck, I am taking him out for dinner or fishing.

He's not a bad person, he's just retarded. I just want to reconnect with him til it's too late. I want him to raise my grand children. I asked all the drunkard neighbours, middle aged men, to look out for him and to support him, since I'm so bad with words. All of that thanks to being drunk.
I'd never have admitted those feelings sober. I know he's been horrible ever since he lost his job and the recession hit in 2008, but before that, he was an excellent dad, even if a drunkard and gambler. I know he loves me. And I love him too. If not for his care, I wouldn't be such an intellectual assburger, and I'm proud of being just that. He bought me encyclopaedia and educational books because he was truly proud of my intelligence. And I inherited it all from him, since he's a legit genius. Flawed, mentally ill, but his intellect is the greatest. How could I bet so mad and upset at him? If only I showed him some love, maybe he'd reconsider his ways.

But I was a dumb teenager, my emotions took over my reasoning. I am sorry dad. Ever since now, I will treat you with the respect you deserve. You will be always by my side, and I will be proud to intruduce you to my wife's family, and I hope you will rise my children as well as you did me.
I love you dad.

But now, I have to puke.
If it makes you guys feel any better, I didn't drink for 24 straigt hours. IT was tolerable, even if very boring and also sad. I realized that people like me even if I'm sober, and I don't have to be the "happy drunk" for people to enjoy my company. If only I ever loved myself while sober.
But the day has passed, and guess what time it is on the kazakhstan, hehe. Way past 0:00.

I am sorry for disappinting you guys and making you worry. I promise I will quit and get my shit in order. Just let this time of troubles pass, and my family to live well again.

I never realized just how much responsibility lies on me. The fate of this entire family is on my shoulders. My success will make or break this family. It's a lot to bear for a fucked up schizo, but in a way, I feel blessed. Blessed with the privelege of being the lynchpin of this family. I will not disappoint my mum and dad, and you guys. Our future is bright.

Once I get my paycheck, I will take my father out for dinner, fix our bathroom, invest into my business ideas. I will support my faimily as hard as I can.

Yesterday my granny told me she's proud of me. All because I confessed my deepset desires while drunk. I acted very edgy and contrarian previous to that, but deep inside I just want to make my family proud and help them. Omce I had the courage to say that, she told me that she can go on to the afterlife in peace. I feel truly content with that. After all, se's so old. She was the last and biggest thing she worried about. My fate. And now that she knows that my intentions are pure and that I'm trying my hardest to disappoint, I hope she will be happy for the rest of her life.

I know my path now. I have to be good. I have to be strong. The entire fate of this family rests on my shoulders. Nobody else but me has the youth, strength and wisdom to make it all right again. I will be the center that this family will bond over. I will be the core. THat is my mission.

It is easy to remember the bad. but there is much my father has done for me. I will remember only the good. I want to follow in the footsteps of jesus. If I've been wronged, I will return the favor in kindness. It is the only way to make the world right.

Amen. And now I really have to puke.

I love my cousins. I want to be strong enough to be able to support and help them. Who else if not me? They have so much ahead of them, and I have so much to teach them. I must be as kind to them as my uncles were to me. A huge burden lies of my shoulders, and I accept it with gratitude. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to live for something more than my worthless self. It is the greatest gift of all. If I had nobody to live for, I would have killed myself. But to expend oneself for the benefit of others - what higher virtue can there be? God truly is merciful.

I am puking on my keyboard as I type this.
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No. 6159
Oh god i'm dying.
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No. 6160
So it seems like gf of my mate wants me to get with her best friend. She said she would fit me. What does that even me, that someone fits to another person? I hear the words of neurotypicals but I don't understand them. Don't know what to think about the whole thing, but I'll just be positive about it and see what comes. Since I rarely ever meet new people it's a good thing anyways.

>>6158
>He's the one who bought me all those dinosaur encyclopediea, all those BBC documentaries about biology and dinosaurs. If it were not for him, I wouldn't be the person that I am today.

Literally had tears in my eyes after reading reading.

t. Haver of similiar feels

Alcohol can pull a few triggers that you usually wouldn't even touch, that's what it's beloved and used for.
>>
No. 6162
>>6160
>Alcohol can pull a few triggers that you usually wouldn't even touch
and make you forget about other triggers that make you yourself.
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No. 6163
You know what, you know what.

Why would I be a bad person who hates his close ones, hates the world, and hates himself, when I could be a good person who loves his close ones, loves the world and hates himself instead?
Yes, the path I'm going down will kill me in a very short while, but during that time, I will hopefully share enough kindness and do enough good to repay the debt I've made by consuming oxygen to sustain this worthless life.

If I can justify my existence by at least bringing a few smiles to peoples' faces, I can rot in peace, and hopefully god will incinerate my soul instead of sending me to hell.

Nothing can come out of bitterness and hatred, good can only be created by someone who extends his hand in kindness. I will be the one who will extend his hand, even if it kills me. I will make it all right again.
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No. 6164
>>6162
It's not worth being you when what you are is a pitiful shitmaggot crawling through dirt just because he's too afraid to die.

To change oneself, to metamorphose into a beautiful butterfly, even if it means to die ceasing to be yourself, isn't that the greatest gift a shitmaggot can have?

JUSTIFY MY EXISTENCE
>>
No. 6166
>>6164
>JUSTIFY MY EXISTENCE
It's futile to help someone in this situation until that person becomes really to wish change something in his life and move towards changes.
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No. 6170
130 kB, 899 × 563
>>6163
That's the correct approach to be taking but there is the saying in Christianism "the heart is willing but the flesh is weak" and that is the struggle with the bottle. Do you have AA in Kazakhstan? Also I need to read Dostoevsky.
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No. 6171
34 kB, 598 × 505
>>
No. 6174 Kontra
>>6163
Go to bed, you're drunk.
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No. 6178
40 kB, 512 × 384
Okay, I guess this marks the end of my alconautical advantures.

Somewhere between 120 and 160 g alcohol drank at once there seems to be a threshold between "happy drunk" and "lost control of the limbic system, wandered off to fuck knows where and cried for an hour on a bench".

Welp, I guess I've seen WHERE exactly this is heading, and I think I've seen enough. Time to call it quits while I can.

My conclusion: alcohol is bad. I guess I just had to see for myself, huh.
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No. 6180
>>6178
unsubscribed
>>
No. 6182
Listening to 'Trane while drinking some absolut.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa6gNwpt5sY
If I could go back in time and listen to any live musical concert, it would definitely be John Coltrane at the village vanguard in NYC.
>>
No. 6183
>>6154
I don’t particularly care about the kultur-proletariat aspect.
Teacups are my woes, and nobody hears that.
>>
No. 6185
10,5 MB, 7:40
>>6178
I would rate alcohol as a hard drug alongside heroin and crystal meth. I'm not even joking. This is objectively pharmaceutically where it is, and I should know from experience as well. Alcohol is possibly even a harder drug to do than Percocets or cocaine. It is also truly one of the most if not the most horrific addiction I've ever encountered in people. Detox facilities here are like 50/50 heroin addicts and alcoholics. It is one of the only substances where the withdrawals themselves can also kill you. We even tried to ban it here once at the Constitutional level but of course that worked out poorly. It is only even tolerated because most cultures figured out how to make and use it and it became embedded in the culture, particularly in Europeans, because it is shit easy to make. Literally all you need is some rotten fruit and presto, you have the equivalent of a drug lab.

I personally would also strongly recommend against ernsts doing it, and have seen many bernds completely destroyed by it. If you are getting too plastered to remember where you are and you turn into a crying sobbing mess, or you start attacking friends family and random strangers, then it is definitely time to call it quits because you will very quickly be confined to a psych ward or prison against your will after that, provided you don't get yourself dead somehow (which is also highly probable). All paths of alcoholism literally lead to one of two places, in a grave or sobriety. I am not even exaggerating those are just the facts.
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No. 6186
>>6185
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbmiKvjk-Mg
It's interesting that I just now realized that every time I'd get drunk, and lose a little bit of self control.
At first you just feel good and smile, but then you start saying the first thing that comes to your mind, doing stuff you regret later, etc. And then your brain shuts off while your legs carry you away fuck knows where and you act on every impulse, thought and emotion.

Also, masturbating while drunk is a very unpleasant experience. Every time I'd try to get off, there'd be a swelling, head splitting headache in my forehead.
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No. 6188
96 kB, 560 × 778
>>6186
What you are experiencing is exactly what hardcore drug addicts feel as they keep going down and down that dark corridor. You lose just a little bit more control, sacrifice just a little bit more of yourself and your life to it on that altar. You keep telling yourself that you're in control and that it's fine, and how it's making you a better person or more competent or enhancing your abilities as you keep going down, darker and darker. Your vision itself narrows until literally all you see, all you perceive, all that you are is that one singular desire, ignoring all family, friends, health, everything until everything is destroyed.

Just stop and look around you. Stop yourself from taking another step down that dark hallway to look at yourself and where you are and what you are doing. Wear a ring on your hand, to remind you to pay attention to every single thing you do with your hand, because ultimately your actions define who you are.
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No. 6204
>>6146
I think you are forgetting something: Such regimes, if they come to power in a vaguely democratic system, first ride on wave of antagonism against some group (eg. semites). And that groups is subsequently the first one to be removed from premises. After that comes what you say.

Except for bureaucracy, which is sometimes used as a tool rather than fought against in "modern" fashist regimes (see: banality of evil).
>>
No. 6206
>>6188
Funny that you post a depiction of Samsara alongside that post. Because from what you describe - the losing of the self and transformation of an automaton that acts on instinct - you are getting somewhat close to the goal described in some Theravada texts about breaking out of the cycle of karma und thus possibly freeing yourself from Samsara.

If only you wouldn't hurt other people while unconsciously drunk...
>>
No. 6210
I've forgotten passwords, and I don't wish to use phone numbers to restore them. I hate that FSBook (aka VK) requires phone numbers for accounts.
>inb4 normalfag
>>
No. 6211
>>6210
Haha, normalfag.
>>
No. 6212
Why are women such dumb overreacting cunts?

A lady from the neighbouring office threatened to call the administration because I threw a lit cigarette in the trash bin and it caught on fire. Well so fucking what, it's not like the bin was plastic (I think). It'll stop burning when it burns down. What the fuck is her problem?

Dumb cunt should stop letting such trifling matters get to her, life's too short to worry about burning trash.
>>
No. 6215
>>6212
>life's too short to worry about burning trash.
What an interesting way to describe your life.
>>
No. 6216
>>6215
Exactly.

Yesterday I blacked out drunk, wake up with a headache and probably lost 10 IQ points for life, but you know what I did? Got up in the afternoon and went to work. Bitch has it too good so a bit of burning trash's a highlight of her day.

I see burning trash every day.
>>
No. 6230
305 kB, 753 × 960
God damn, what an awful day. I just felt extremely stressed and my physical reflexes suffered for it. Also, I'm kind of tired of NTggers assuming things of me because I'm not up to date with all the hip new things in neurotypicality.
>>
No. 6234
>>6216
On the other hand, you are getting worked up over some woman wanting to call the police. Sorry to be directe here, but maybe take some of your own medicine and be calm about things. The point is not who is right and who is wrong but rather who is calm.
>>
No. 6237
139 kB, 1422 × 522
Some of you may remember my post in the previous Today thread about me not being able to go through with a heart operation beacuse I fogot to get a certain paper from a certain doctor.
Well, I maganed to sort that out just before being taken in by the clinic and have just returned to my place after a week in hospital. My heart definitely feel better now and has a stable rhythm to it that I have never felt before.

Gotta say, being on EC after spending a week surrounded by a lot of old people feels good. However, not all is so nice since my father, who had just spent 1.5 years in a rehab centre in the countryside, has begun drinking again. Currently he is absent from the home but he may return at any moment and start fucking everything up. This saddens me deeply because, much like the Kazakh poster, I was molded as a person by a lot of the things my father taught me and made me interested in. And I've been forced to watch him wither away for over two decades to the point where he can sometimes struggle to form a coherent sentence.

Now that I think about it, my stay in the clinic gave me a lot of time to think about my plans. I have decided to go to university for now but only to get some time to think about my future. I have been considering joining the army for a year and then going to a military academy. Will see about that. Still, socializing will not be a pleasant experience.

Oh, I also read some literature about the Republic of Venice. Probably my favourite historical state. It was so unique and I am mesmerized by it.
>>
No. 6238
80 kB, 924 × 529
Dear diary, today I felt like I have no future in this country. Like I'll be stuck doing same tedious shit all day every day for shit pay and that's it. Weird part is that I'm better off than most of people who live here but it still feels like a massive underachievement. I NEED to leave or I'll be stuck living the generic Latvia lyfe and die feeling like I wasted my life on nothing. I really need to get the fuck out of this trap called generic Latvia lyfe but I have literally no idea how to look for decent jobs in Germany for example. Just looked at a news article claiming that there's a massive pool of job offerings there but no links on lists where I could browse those.
>>
No. 6239
177 kB, 384 × 405
I had the best day ever. Took some herbal pill and had such a God damn great sleep that it's unbelievable. I was awakened by a butterfly. It was hopelessly flapping and flying against the glass of the window.
Wasn't tired at all at work, and I'm still not tired. And I only had a single cup of coffee out of socialization and a thermos of Russian blend tea. I was so energetic, I forgot to have the hourly break I'm permitted.

Finally ordered that tea set I was ogling online. It should arrive in a two-three days. Otherwise I started rationing out my payments.
Gonna work 'till the end of the week. I'll probably work on my translation on the weekend.
Why is Ernst always so sad?
Life is so fucking rad right now.
>>
No. 6241
>>6239
>I had the best day ever. Took some herbal pill
Are you confident about herbs
>>
No. 6242
Also I just looked at the paperwork for getting my passport since I have to do that and I already have a problem. It requires a non-family reference who I've known for 2 years or more and I don't know anybody outside my family for more than two years. This is anti-introvertism. Gib reparations I need them to pay my rent.

>>6237
Well that's some good news at least. I imagine dying from some wanker messing up heart surgery is not a pretty way to go. I've seen arterial spurting before. Pretty hectic. I've seen the stains on the ceiling of a hospital room from the seal coming off someone's arm while they were taking a leak.

>>6239
>Why is Ernst always so sad?
Because a lot of EC tiers in the today thread are mentally ill. What do you expect?
>>
No. 6244
>>6241
I had no idea what to expect but I had a really high quality sleep.
At some moments I wasn't even sure I was awoke or asleep.
>>
No. 6246
>>6242
Past employer, school teacher or doctor.
Could try a neighbour or uncle.
>>
No. 6247
>>6246
Don't have contact with old employer or teacher. Didn't even go to school in Australia either which leaves university lecturers that won't remember me. Also not on good terms with my uncle. I wouldn't have the courage to approach neighbours even assuming I had been living here for two years. It's not even a near thing really. There is nobody outside family that I've really known for more than a few months really and I haven't seen anybody other than my sisters since maybe Christmas or something. I'm not kidding about EC being my social life.
>>
No. 6248
>>6242
>What do you expect?
The will to power. Where is the "want"?
You people don't want anything. I want to triumph in as many things as possible. Do you guys not want that?
>>
No. 6251
>>6206
There is a difference between the goal in Buddhism and simply reducing yourself to a slave of an addiction. In the one you are freed, and in the other you are so wrapped up in a desire that there's little else about you. Although I guess, I can see it looking like the two are similar or the same, but a drug addict is truly the opposite of enlightened.
>>
No. 6252
48 kB, 800 × 599
>>6212
This is exactly what I mean about the alcogolic. And then somewhere in the late stages you will notice people being mad at you, all the time. It will not occur to you they're justified. This is also the stage where you break your brand new headphones, break your laptop, lose your phone, lose you keys constantly, lose your wallet, and all manner of stupid shit happening. This can also include setting your apartment on fire from lit cigarettes or trying to cook something and forgetting the stove is on or passing out.
>>
No. 6253
184 kB, 1145 × 1145
Dear diary, I also keep switching from a resigned no fucks given attitude to being painfully aware that this road leads to a shitty end and wanting to change things. On the next morning I still get up and repeat my shit day no matter how aware I was that this pattern needs to go. I just may be fucking hopeless.
>>
No. 6255
197 kB, 1191 × 670
dear diary,
i have a french, his girlfriend and their little baby living in my very small flat now. they needed a roof. well, the french guy did, because the parents of his german girlfriend pretty much told him "fuck off" …and they wanted to stay together.

they are pretty chill. they cleaned my flat :DDD my fridge was full of rotten food; they filled it with fresh food.
idk for how long they are staying. they prolly go to france "sometime soon".

me like. hope i don't get stress with my landlord.
>>
No. 6259
>>6255
Pictures like that disgust me.
>>
No. 6260
5,1 MB, 854 × 480, 1:10
>>6259
Why? Is this better?
>>
No. 6262
16 kB, 290 × 392
>>6260
>Soviet space travel
Reminds me of an old joke how the Americans had trouble using pens in space, so NASA spent millions of dollars developing a pen that could be used in space.
The Soviets just decided to use pencils instead.
>>
No. 6263
>>6260
>liquid vacuum physics of moving in the space
If they were getting ready to stop at the station, rockets ould be firing in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION. But it looks like they are going to crush the station the ship.
>>
No. 6268
1,2 MB, 1400 × 1000
Did a good amount of worked, studied Russian, going for a run now. Good day.

Stay strong, Ernstfriends.
>>
No. 6277 Kontra
>>6268
The Charge of The Lancers. That work is chaotic and amazing. Thank you.
>>
No. 6303
>>6248
I do. Like you I've been taking "herbal" pills to stay motivated. Unlike you I am aware that they aren't actually herbal pills.

Yesterday I helped my flat mate pack up most of his things as he is moving out. The rest of the day I did some organizational stuff that I've been ignoring for too long. In the evening I watched a film with my soon to be ex-flat-mate for the last time, we had fun.

Today should be dedicated to my uni work and my 10-hour job.
>>
No. 6305
>>6251
Certainly. I wasn't referring to the overall situation but the moment itself. While being passed out drunk there is no conflict about being ruled by wants and needs that your self conjures up. You just do whatever and it's a-ok (again, in the moment).

Or so I assume. I've never actually been that drunk as far as I can remember.

>>6262
Unfortunately the particles of graphite from the pencil were then in the air circulation and turned out to be pretty unhealthy.

A better story (imho) is that russians actually store weapons in their landing capsules because of an incident where three cosmonauts landed in the Taiga where they were surrounded by wolfes for something like 3 days before mission control found the landing site.
>>
No. 6306
104 kB, 790 × 818
>>6303
But it’s only a bunch of herb extrackts.
Not drugs. I’m motivaed as is.

I’ve ran out of data to process at the workplace because the bastards failed to send the papers in on time. Basically nothing to do. My boss said she doesn’t want to lay down us early so we should take a long lunch break and do the work that’s still unfinished slowly.
Working slowly is killing. I’d rather just be done with it, but then I don’t get paid, and I WANT the money. I don’t need it, but I want it.
It’d be nice to have yet another batch of savings.
Guess I’ll have a long lunch, and read the book I have with me. I’ve already read the manga I wanted.
Ran out of tea too.
>>
No. 6308
12 kB, 547 × 579
>>6306
Natural drugs are herb extracts as well.
But it's OK, I guess. Our brains are driven by chemical reactions.
Some people are caffeine-addicted, and it's legal (yet).
It's the matter of mind and control.
>>
No. 6309
>>6308
Honestly, it helps me sleep better.
I use caffeine to help me concentrate.
It’s almost Kafkaesque how little work we got done today.
>>
No. 6310
>>6263
>zero gravity astrodynamics in spaceflight
Retroburning makes you miss by just as much as burning does in that scenario. Spaceflight operates on different rules to Earthbound travel, it doesn't operate on the no-rules meme because zero-gravity isn't really a thing in-system and you have to navigate around the effects of interacting gravity sources. The basic way to dock with a station even one at an L-point is to use the Clohessy-Wiltshire equations because to rendezvous, you need to share an orbit and that's what they deal with, just that in the case of an L-point, it's an orbit relative to the sun rather than to the Earth.
>>
No. 6320
19 kB, 480 × 360
>>
No. 6321
>>6320
That's what no melanin does to you.

Black don't crack
>>
No. 6329
>>6260
>why
>Oh so cool like cute gf in space))) like shit so independed and so cool she like lie in bed with phone and also she super smart so she in space)))0)0)0)
>>
No. 6330 Kontra
191 kB, 1188 × 610
>>6329
oh dawg
>>
No. 6344
38 kB, 1054 × 526
Melody shamelessly stolen
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0FNSUhZiz5G
>>
No. 6349
142 kB, 515 × 457
>>6344
Have you been drinking again?
>>
No. 6354
52 kB, 1090 × 676
>>6344
Ebin :D
>>
No. 6355
34 kB, 200 × 139
>>6349
Well, I have, but I came up with this while sober (and hungover)

I just find making songs about kys incredibly amusing as a pastime.

>>6354
T. Hanks
t. thanks
>>
No. 6357
107 kB, 680 × 827
>>6330
No, I just not dumb bydlo
>>
No. 6358
I still don't feel tired.
I'm in perfect harmony with the world. Didn't even drink coffee today. No need for such things.
I still drank the usual tea though. I just like tea, and this "Russian blend" is really nice. Has a "smokey" flavour to it.
>>
No. 6363
102 kB, 785 × 757
>>6355
Fair enough, but you did say you were going to stop drinking? Are you at least cutting down?

Also rate dope rhyme

Raise your hands up,
middle fingers to the sky.
Say it with me now homie,
normies gonna die.
>>
No. 6376
Shit.
Flat mate finnished moving out about 30 minutes ago. I was feeling good right up until a minute before he went through the door. The rooms are so empty now; the atmosphere was weird in the last half hour before he left. We were pretty much best friends for close to 10 years.

My mood changed pretty quickly and for some time now I have this empty feeling in my stomach that I associate with an upcoming panic attack. I haven't had one in a while, but I know I haven't quite recovered from the bad times in 2016. Just like any other depression it takes years to fully crawl out of the abyss and while I was doing well, I am not 100% stable. What tends to trigger my anxiety is the combination of feeling cut off and the atmosphere of evening sunlight. Check for the evening light, also check for being completely alone: The only family member I talk to is my mum, who is on vacation. My only three friends are the mate who just went out the door, another friend who isn't online much anymore and often takes hours to answer via email and my gf who is on vacation. Literally nobody I can call by phone, nobody to chat.

The rooms are so very empty.
>>
No. 6384
>>6376
I had forgotten how good it feels to just let go and cry. Just closing the curtains to feel a bit of privacy and just cry while walking through a mostly empty flat. All those memories.

I don't think there is a panic attack coming anymore. The tears are kind of releasing the inner pressure. I wonder how long it will take to get over this. I guess I forgot to mention that it's not just a short good bye, he is moving to another city.

Why do people associate crying with something bad? It's actually solving the problem of sadness and melancholy quite well. At least in this situation of mine.
>>
No. 6386
>>6384
Crying in public is considered shameful I think.
>>
No. 6389
>>6386
Yes, because it makes others uncomfortable, who are then in a position to react properly or feel bad themselves (or know they are supposed to feel bad). But I'm not in public and I was talking about crying in public.
Though I wish it was okay to just cry in the cinema, because why even bother with serious films and interesting characters if you can't live their drama as your own for two hours so you can have a proper catharsis at the end?
>>
No. 6390
Every time I hear small dog barking, I want to come there and beat it to death.
Rate.
>>
No. 6391
118 kB, 324 × 366
249 kB, 1280 × 720
>>6329
i just prefer to look at female imaginary characters; aesthetics. in pretty much every game i ever played i've chosen a female character (who wants to look at a male ass all the time, huh?)
and i like the lonely, cozy feeling spacetravel and those pictures emit. it's more like self identification with the character within a fictional scenario, less "looky dis nice girl me wanna fuck"



my day was ok-ish. worked ~12h (including breaks). but was kinda boring work. IT stuff for an (IT-illiterate) farmer and "cleaning" field off of poisonous plants. came back to a too much(!) cleaned flat. e.g. clothes have been moved from the drying rack to wardrobe; not used to walk those few extra meters. why people do this "extra" work? just that it looks clean?
>>
No. 6392
>>6389
>it makes others uncomfortable, who are then in a position to react properly or feel bad themselves
I agree with this, how seeing someone cry will make people feel the need to do something. But that is public crying, and crying when you have privacy is a completely different thing. I'm glad you're feeling better.
>>
No. 6394
>>6392
Thank you :3
>>
No. 6395
>>6390
I know you have many stray dogs and I just assume you are not some proxy or is it a neighbors dog? I know why most landlords here don't allow dogs and tho I have nothing against them I'm glad I don't have to endure the barking of a foreign dog.
>>
No. 6396
53 kB, 786 × 618
7AM, phone is off. Time for sleep and a lovely day of not dealing with others. Rate.
>>
No. 6399
Fug, got to do another day of trial work instead of the usual two days.
Makes me paranoid to think that I did anything wrong, even though I have no idea what it's supposed to be. I was asking a lot of stuff but only because I'm not routined yet.
But other than that I've been just working as everyone else did.
Hard to not think negative now tbh.
>>
No. 6404
>>6396
>Time for sleep
I'm jealous. I have a few more hours before it's dark enough for sleep. I'm too tired for any focused work, so I'll try to find something repetitive to do.
>>
No. 6408
>>6395
Tiny dogs have owner, stray dogs are big.
It's distinguishable how small dogs bark, as they bark to everything that moves.
I want them to shut up for a long, long time...
>>
No. 6415
Drunk father is trying to tear down the door that leads to my room. Haven't had a proper fist fight with him in a while but it may come down to that in a few moments.
Funnily enough, just two days ago I thought about speaking to him on the matter of selling the flat and buying three smaller ones. for each person who lives here now. Guess that talk will have to be postponed. Oh, and since I have not been able to sleep my face is bloated and I really don't like the way it looks.
>>
No. 6416
>>6415
Stay strong, I had my first fistfight with my old man recently. Peace was made and we are now on better terms than ever.
>>
No. 6419
Is it weird that I'm ashamed and embarrassed that I acted like a decent person while drunk?

I told my brother that we should hang out with our father more and support him a bit so he stops drinking.
Now that I'm sober, I suddenly remember that my father is a lowlife degenerate beyond salvation and there's nothing more I want than to get the fuck away from him forever.

When I'm drunk, I keep making those social connections with people who are normally just acquaintances. Then when sober I realize that I am schizoid and don't want these people around, but now they're my "friends". I just want to stay in the comfort zone of being a bitter asshole who wants to one day move out and drop contact with everyone he knows. But booze's making me act like a normalfag.

It's a weird feel.
>>
No. 6421
47 kB, 640 × 406
>>6415
People who drink alhogol is drug-addicted animals.
Thank god nobody in my family drinks or smokes.
>>
No. 6423
44 kB, 657 × 527
>>6419
I dunno. I don't really get drunk these days and haven't really gotten blindingly drunk many times at that.

Though I guess it makes sense to dislike acting against what your sober self desires, undermining yourself even if other people seem to think you're a top cunt for it. Even more so when you genuinely dislike the people that now have the wrong idea about you.
>>
No. 6426
>>6419
Have you read the things you wrote here while shit faced? You do sound genuine when you talk about making things right while drunk.
>>
No. 6427
>>6419
I had this too. You will probably lost all these friends after some time, because you lose your connection with them. But nevermind about it, finally they grow up and you lose them anyway. This is well, hidden danger behind alcohol, it makes you more social than you are.
>>
No. 6429
63 kB, 215 × 264
I forgot to fucked up so the music didn’t copy over to my phone, so now I’m stuck listening to Tchaikovsky again for 8 hours.
>>
No. 6434
>>6423
>>6426
Actually, I think being drunk for me feels exactly like being hypomanic. When I'm hypomanic, I become overly sentimental, optimistic, sociable, etc., and 100% believe the shit I spout.

I guess that's why I like being drunk so much, maniacal psychosis feels fucking awesome. And it's also why it's so dangerous: there are no brakes. Coming off alcohol is exactly the same as comic off bipolar mania: "oh dog what done".
>>
No. 6438
53 kB, 657 × 527
You guys are all probably tired of me documenting my alco adventures at this point, so I'll be brief.

Yesterday I got smashed at work, went for a smoke, there was a promoter girl at the shop and asked me if I smoked and if I wanted to take a quiz. Yesterday I rudely declined, but this time I felt guilty so I agreed, while also hitting on her after every question.
In the end she sold me two packs of cigs for the price of one. They weren't very good cigs but I'll take it. She didn't answer any of my questions about her age or name, but she was giggling at my jokes, so I dunno. Do you guys think she wanted to fuck?

Then I went to a nearby playground, walked up to some kids and asked them what kind of video games they liked to play. Nobody but one russian girl answered me, she said she played roblox. I said that my brother also plays roblox. Then I told her to wear longer shorts because short short jeans at her age is inappropriate. I circled the block, drank another can, then came back and saw them breaking branches off a tree. I scolded them and said not to hurt trees because they're alive just as we are.

Then I had the idea of checking out my old uni. It's only three blocks away. I went to the dean's and asked me if I could enroll again. Apparently I need $500 to pay for my credits and then $150 monthly since I don't have a scholarship anymore. I don't think he noticed that I was drunk.

I got thirsty so I started looking for a shop to buy some carbonated water. I only found a restaurant, walked in and was greeted by a tall russian waiter. He asked me if I wanted anything, and I said "water". They sold water, but the expensive kind in glass bottles. I asked him if there's a shop nearby, and he pointed me in the direction. I thanked him and said "great place you have here, I gotta bring my girlfriend here sometimes". He smiled and said "please do". I don't have a girlfriend. I shook his hand and complimented his sleeve tattoo.

On my way to the store, I saw an art shop, and walked in. I introduced myself as a master of the arts to the girl working there and said I'd like to sell some of my paintings (I don't have any painting at the moment). She gave me the shop's card, and I left. I was flirting with her all the while.

Then I bought my water and went back to work, pretending to have been on lunch.
There's a lot of other stuff that happened in those 2 hours, but I won't delve into that.

God, I wish I acted like this 24/7, I'd be a hyperchad. Or possibly dead.
>>
No. 6439
69 kB, 1356 × 854
>>6434
Honestly, it seems like you just need to find something that is able to be done with minimum effort that passes the time. Seems to me that you get drunk because you're bored more than anything else. If there is something that I can do from my end to help in that respect, I'll do what I can. It's not like I've been getting that many hours at work these days so I might as well put the ungodly amount of free time I have to some form of utility.
>>
No. 6441
>>6438
Also, I asked for directions from a group of russian tourists who obviously looked like tourists, travel bags and all. I guess it didn't click with me at the time that they wouldn't know where the shop is either. It was two russian girls and one russian manlets.

I chatted with them briefly, I think the russian girls wanted to fuck. I asked them how they liked almaty, they said that it's cool and I walked off, yelling "everybody says that, because it is cool".

Such cases.
>>
No. 6442
Also, I remember yelling "I WAS A KID ONCE TOO" at the kids when walking by a third time.
>>
No. 6444
>>6439
I dunno, we could play a video game together.
250 ping and all.

I'd play LAN games over the internet with my american friend, and the horrible latency just added to the fun of it.
>>
No. 6445
565 kB, 1100 × 944
1,1 MB, 1366 × 768
>>6438
>>6441
Ebin. I'd be dead if I did those kinds of things while drunk tbh, not from the drinking but from the crashing anxiety that would come once I realised what done.

>everybody says that, because it is cool
I've said it before though, Earthquake Zone makes Almaty a very aesthetic city in my eyes. Flat is justice :-D

>>6444
What would you want to play? I get the feeling that a good amount of the shit I play doesn't fall into the 'fun and easy' side of the spectrum. Not limited to video games though. VASSAL is an interesting program for simulating board game hexes, and I could reboot the old idea from a while ago of starting a Roll20 group albeit run on theoretical knowledge of game mechanics and design rather than by a skilled and experienced GM. Take your pick.
>>
No. 6448
>>6438
I would be very careful about approaching kids and talking to them.
I also think for your brain smoking and alcohol is a bad combo, as is caffeine and alcohol.
>>
No. 6452 Kontra
>>6438
>God, I wish I acted like this 24/7, I'd be a hyperchad. Or possibly dead.

The thing is you probably came across as a drunk weirdo.
Did you know there is nothing more unattractive than a drunkie hitting on a girl that is not interested but he does it anyway?
A woman will usually be nice even if she does not like what you are doing, like asking silly questions

You are just talkative but that does not make you a chad, it's more a kind of pity evoking.
>>
No. 6456
61 kB, 1000 × 800
A few weeks ago i applyed for a job and got a negative reply, today i got a invitation for a job interview next week from that company for pretty much the same job in a different department.
I feel kinda happy now and hope i get the job, wish me luck.
>>
No. 6458
26 kB, 857 × 958
I guess I forgot to mention my interaction with hobos while drunk.
I will walk up to any hobo I see and offer some cigs, the rest of my beers and some change. Because in the end, we're all human god damn it. If I had a million dollars I swear I'd open a homeless shelter god damn it. It's a crime that public bathrooms don't have showers. I think showers are as much of a fundamental human need as pooping and pissing.
Every huaman deserves another chance god damn it. And another. ANd another. And another. And another. And anohtoer. As many chances as your kindness allows. Because whether god exists or not, he has entrusted us, mortals with the freedom of choice and kindness to look after another. If it weren't for the cruelty of the expedient nature of survival, if it weren't for the mortal NEEEDS that give birth to greed, I am sure all of us would be perfectly charitable and perfectly kind. But who are we if not humans, to resist this fundamental drive for survival, and share some of ours with complete strangers, for even if it's not expedient, it is Good, and that is the highest virtue of all: to put good over need.
I am fucking hammered.
>>6445
I'm more of an action/adventure kinda guy tbh. My analytical mind is already overspent at work counting numbers. There's nothing more enticing to me than playing a vanilla wow freeshard with a friend. But wow is the stuff of the devil, so I'm still wary.
>>6452
I realize. But it sure does feel good, And better than thinking about the "what if"s. I'm already too polite and considerate for my own good. I see girls that want me to hit on them, but I am too much of a prude to sully their company with my hornyturk gestures. While drunk, I, at least, make the effort.

>>6448
I realize it's bad to approach kids while drunk, but I was so overwhelmed with the realization of the inevitability of fate, and that all of us were once innocent, that I wanted to let them know to appreciate those fleeting years of joy and purity, even if I didn't know how.
>>
No. 6459
"God" is just a metaphor for all the things that are intangible, but that we still put our faith in, such as good, justice and kindness.
For if good, justice and kindness didn't exist as concepts, would we be able to imagine and exercise them? Of course not. That is the reason I still have faith in the Universe, because at the least, it still has the CAPACITY to be good, just and kind. And it is our duty, as the minds of the Universe, to make that glorious state to come true.
No good deed or kind word is pointless regardless of its causality, because it is forever etched in the tapestry of history, and nobody can deny its occurrence, fundamentally. Nihilism is for weak pussies, I am a Gnostic Chad, and I have FAITH in my fellow man, and I only hope he has faith in me.
>>
No. 6460
19 kB, 480 × 480
IF I HAD A CIGARETTE
FOR EVERY TIME A PERFECT STRANGER ASKED ME FOR A CIGARETTE
THEN I'D HAVE ENOUGH CIGARETTES
TO GET ME THROUGH THE DAY

AND IF I HAD SOME SPARE CHANGE
EVERY TIME A PERFECT STRANGER ASKED ME FOR SOME SPARE CHANGE
THEN I'D HAVE ENOUGH SPARE CHANGE
TO TAKE CARE OF THESE BILLS I NEED TO PAY

AND DUDE, I KNOW THAT TIMES ARE TOUGH
BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU CAN HAVE MY STUFF
SO HOW ABOUT A RIDE?
I COULD DRIVE YOU TO THE SHELTER
WE COULD EAT DINNER AT THE ANDRE HOUSE
AND YOU COULD EVEN TAKE A SHOWER

CAUSE I THINK YOU DESERVE MUCH MORE
THAN A SMOKE AND FIFTY CENTS
YOU DESERVE TO BE SELF-SUFFICIENT
AND BUY YOUR OWN CIGARETTES
>>
No. 6461
664 kB, 1505 × 974
>>6458
>I'm more of an action/adventure kinda guy tbh. My analytical mind is already overspent at work counting numbers.
Fair enough, I wasn't expecting you to want to play those kinds of games, it was more a statement about where my knowledge lies. Out of what I posted, Roll20 is probably closest to that since you can pretty easily just run action fantasy for your players and it's pretty textbook action adventure when you do that, or it could be action-adventure sci-fi if you'd prefer that, also pretty low-effort to maintain once it gets going. If there is interest, I'm willing to set something up. It's biggest problem is that it does take a little bit of paperwork before you get to the easy part. If you have something specific in mind though since you seem less attracted to WoW though mentioning it (I never played, so I can't comment on its pros and cons personally) do tell. I'm really just throwing out ideas and seeing what sticks. I'm open to playing things that aren't in my usual ballpark, but I don't know what you have in mind that interests you. When we can figure out what the idea is, we can work on making it happen.
>>
No. 6462
1,8 MB, 3492 × 2307
Now-now. I got through the work day.
I only have one day left working, because we will be done with it one day sooner than expected.
That means less money for me, but who cares, I'll still have some to save for later, even with spending a fuckload of it on books and China-ware.

In other news, the teaset I ordered arrived. It looks pretty nice and I'm really happy. I think the Gaiwan is the crown jewel of this set.
Everything's comin' up, Milhouse!
Rate it btw

I'm going to put music on my phone now, because listening to Tchaikowsky's 6th symphony, 1812 overture, Swan Lake and Yevgeniy Anegin is nice, it gets quite grating after a week or so.
>>
No. 6463
>>6461
I'd really be up for playing some vanilla wow tbh, I love guiding new players through the game that I'm so autismal about.

Another question is whether we can sync up our timezones.

mom scolded me for being drunk. but I don't care. I will fix this household even if it means I'll drink myself to death. I have two other brothers, the lineage is safe. I'm scum regardless of whether I'm sober or drunk, but it doesn't matter. I'm going to dedicate my life to the comfort of others. My life has no inherent value, the only way I can give meaning to my existence is by enriching the lives of others.

once my family is happy, I can die in peace. I hope that will be enough to redeem myself.
I will be the lamb of ghod
>>
No. 6464
>>6463
>I'd really be up for playing some vanilla wow tbh, I love guiding new players through the game that I'm so autismal about.

Why vanilla, I playig WotLK with it's features but where most of vanilal content remined the same.
Do you like TES adventures Redguard, or Gothic 1-2?
>>
No. 6465
>>6463
You are right that the timezone thing could prove problematic. I think it's 5 hours which is in that range where things get awkward because my good time is your middle of the day and your good time is my 2-3AM. Still, assuming that I can find the room on my laptop for what is probably a memory hungry game, and assuming that I can get a client off of rutracker or something, it seems interesting enough. Biggest bonus of wargaming is that play by email is the most common form of multiplayer :-DD
>>
No. 6466
>>6464
I like vanilla precisely because it's clunky and weird, so there's more meta-gaming than other expansions. Also, I don't like the fact that 90% of the game is obsoleted in subsequent expansions.

It's like, how'd my american friend put it, idiosyncratic. It's not as "polished" or "streamlined" as other expansions, so there's a lot of exploration of weird broken mechanics, which I enjoy. For example, me and my friends used to 3-man end of the game dungeons (strathholm, scholomance, dire maul) as warlock, priest and paladin using weird-ass unconventional talent builds. That's the fun of vanilla for me.
Of course, when you min-max, vanilla is the most boring expansion, but if you have a couple of friends willing to try weird shit, it's the most fun.

>>6465
It doesn't require much. I think you can run it on 2gb ram and the game itself is like 8g. You can find a 1.12 client on rutracker easily.

My realm of choice is kronos because no goldfarming chinks and quiet community.
>>
No. 6469
>>6466
Well I'll need to dig up an external drive and clean out my laptop a bit. It was very cheap and while it has okay RAM and such, the tradeoff was a pretty small hard drive.

How mind-numbing is the grind btw? I only really know the menes of running the same macro for hours at a time for minuscule profit. I'm not opposed to a long game, I'm currently doing a 600 turn TOAW scenario after all, but I like having a good sense of progress where any failure to progress is on my own choices rather than game mechanics.

>It's not as "polished" or "streamlined" as other expansions, so there's a lot of exploration of weird broken mechanics, which I enjoy.
Reminds me of watching vintage cube being drafted. It's 'Magic as Richard Garfield intended', i.e. broken beyond repair where the only two goals are 1) do broken things 2) prevent your opponent doing broken things. There is no in between because the power level is so absurd because of the concentration of basically all the cards in the game that are considered mistakes.
>>
No. 6470
51 kB, 500 × 500
>>6461
>>6463
why not >>4314 ?

mc good. mc fun.
>>
No. 6471
117 kB, 1024 × 645
193 kB, 600 × 450
53 kB, 640 × 359
64 kB, 640 × 480
>>6466
I like vanilla content too, but not because gameplay, I warcraft fan, and vanilla still feels like more classic warcraft game, than modern. All that game style, sometimes empty zones and kinda unfinished content - sometimes you can catch up stuff that was even before that time. Wow was in development since late 90s, together with warcraft 3 and warcraft adventures, and so many stuff was cancelled or deleted or removed, and as fan of early warcraft, I trying to find as much information about this content as I can.

My favorite zones for example is ruins of alterac and Stormgarde zone - this places gives me so many feels, and even if gameplaywise it very meh and empty, it gives me so many feels. My dreams is not MMO, but late 90s early 00s arpg warcraft game set in time between 2nd and 3rd game, same as cancelled Warcraft adventures game. Funny thing that early wow screenshotes looks more like Ultima 9.
>>
No. 6474
>>6471
Stormgarde was a fucking nightmare, but also fun.
Elite mobs everywhere, extremely close aggro range.
>>
No. 6477
>>6471
Also I agree on art style and world design in general.
Vanilla wow felt more unified, whole and thematically appropriate for high fantasy adventure. The whole world was connected and inhabited.

While BC felt more like some weird 40k knockoff with all the space shit and glowing pauldrons.

Also, dungeons were more linear than vanilla. Nothing compares to blackrock and maraudon.
>>
No. 6480
340 kB, 1024 × 768
563 kB, 1024 × 768
71 kB, 604 × 453
17 kB, 480 × 360
>>6477
Do you know about warcraft besides wow tbh? Just because I personally main reason when I started playing it back than just enter THE WORLD of warcraft (Funny thing that "Welcome to the world of warrcraft" is iconic phrase said by Narrator in first game) was just ot go around inide warcraft game. I started play and just looked everywhere to warcraft memes - OHH THIS STORMWIND CASTLE LOOKS ALMOST LIKE TIER 3 CENTRAL BUILDING FROM WARCRAFT 2!! YOU CAN CLICK ON PEONS AND THEY WILL SAY THEIR PHRASES FROM WARCRAFT 3!! OH MY GOOD YOU CAN VISIT STRONGHOLD DURNHOLDE!!!! - and mistly I played solo or with friend this game as just not super greit but solo RPG just to walk around in warcraft world.

However in many ways this game dissapointment - how world look, low they stick to warcraft 3 in-game style, how small scale of world was and how Illogical world map with its ZONES become. In many ways WoW killed warcraft - now universe served as background for mobs, events, memes. And with every examsion it goes more wild about it. Burning Crusade presented Draenor not as we remember it as eternal dead desert that also nowdays floating in space. Dreneis look like some sort of horned elfs, not that ugly abominations from warcraft 3 (They changed lore that this ugly guys is mutated drenei). I played untill WotLK because it was last 100% logical addon that present really important and unfinished story from frozen throne addon about arthas, and then, with cataclysm that was about AHH DEATWINH GO AGAIN, AND SOME STUFF HAPPEN WITH CHO GALL AND WE REMAKING HALF OF THE WORLD BECAUSE TIME MOVES!!!

I really don't like when you make ADDON that deletes and owerwrites previous game, and same time I start care less about Warcraft as universe. Current WoW is just 100% bullshit - crazy anime-style colored shit with time travveling of garrosh, kung-fu pandas that was implemented because it was easter egg in wc3 and majority of player gooks from china, and what happen next in legion and battle of azeroth I not even care

Nowdays I more stick to pre-wc3 warcraft even, more old and classic one. You know, when all this thing was more generic but have actual focus of story and on art and cutscenes realistic dark-fantasy style, like you know, when warcraft 1 is actual evil Dead 3 movie with dark isolated kingdom against demonised view of mongolian hordes by medival europeans, not anime people farming 100 meme monsters to construct a motocycle inside cartoonsih ugly world. And warcraft 2 was kinda real medival world war with using dark magic and epin gaint battles, where ultra epin narrator moves you thought plot of brutal war and most of world, of it's actual lore you know from little bits all across some things, majority of lore actually unknown by most of people and characters, world established enough to be belivable, but it is still awesome and mysterious.

And in WOW - I huge fan of low poly graphics of PC games of late 90s early 00s and some beta screens look awesome. I look thought a lot old models thought model viewer and it's really artisticly nice. Warcraft 3 in my opinion is artistic masterpice when with such low poly graphics stilysation of this game still looks nice even nowdays.
>>
No. 6504
I went to a careers advice course and they just told me to make a linkedin account and take an online myer-briggs personality test to see if I am compatible with the job.
>>
No. 6510
82 kB, 465 × 363
Alright then, I've cleared some space on my laptop. Should be enough for just vanilla wow. I'll download the client later tonight. I didn't realise that they had their own 1.12 link on the Kronos site, which is lucky because rutracker only had it in Russian. Which should make sense, but they're usually pretty versatile for languages. Maybe we can do a session tomorrow once you're out of work for the week, though I'll probably have to grind lots to catch up with you :-D

>>6504
That seems like a lot of work for something that probably won't work. Those personality tests aren't always great or accurate and Linkedin looks like finding a needle in a haystack if you don't know what you're looking for so employers probably won't find you there either. I dunno though, that's just my casual observation.
>>
No. 6511
>>6504
Lie on the test to get an "extravert" result. Those fucking normie fascists probably won't hire us INTPs and INTJs.
>>
No. 6518 Kontra
>>6504
> they just told me to make a linkedin account and take an online myer-briggs personality test to see if I am compatible with the job

Is this an anglo thing or do German job agencies do the same? I hope it is just the first one.
>>
No. 6565
I'm officially done working. It was an elevating feeling to enter the last line of data.
I got my last pay-cheque, and I'm finally free.

I don't know if I'll work on my translation tomorrow.
Especially since my mother told me my father wants to talk to me about my project. According to her, he is scared that I'd get sued by someone if I were to send it to a publisher because some acquaintance of one of his acquaintances told him this and that we should sit down and talk this over and he hopes that I haven't sent it out to anyone yet.
Honestly, on one hand, it feels nice to know that he at least cares about this in a minimal way, on the other, it's a hell of a punch in the gut. It made me feel legitimately ill.
>>
No. 6566
>>6565
A law suit can be tiring, but does it really happen anyway? I mean it's your work tbh, what does copyright or law has to do with it? Old books are free anyway, new ones need to be licensed but you won't get sued for personal shit, will you?

So your parents want to prevent you from a tiring trouble, not a problem to talk about that tbh. I wonder why there is a danger of getting into trouble like that in the first place tho.
>>
No. 6569
>>6566
Well if you translate it for personal use, that's a-okay, but if you want to publish it and the author still holds the rights to the work, then the representative might take action against you I think.
The problem is, that there is also the fact that I'm translating the English version of something Japanese, so I also have to keep the original translator's rights in mind.

We haven't had this talk yet my father invited me to, but I guess it's about how should I approach a publisher with it without getting obliterated by some lawsuit.
He probably isn't happy about my previous court case where I got into a fight, so it's understandable and I'd do the same
>>
No. 6571
>>6518
It's the usual worthless throwaway advice here "make a linkedin account". Somehow it's more annoying that people bother giving useless advice than to simply admit they don't know.
>>
No. 6599
34 kB, 648 × 533
Aussie-ernst, I love you man.
Hope we can one day strengthen our friendship and you can come to kazakhstan to fulfill your fascination with steppe culture. We could meet up and get hammered together. I'll show you around even though I myself don't know shit about the area due to being neet. It'll be our adventure.

Just wait til I get my paycheck, I'm gonna turn it all around.

You're my best friend. I've only ever had two best friends, and both of them penpals from a continent away. But my US schizo friend's been silent since he got a job, so I only have you.

Love you man, don't despair. We'll figure something out. I just have to get my paycheck and everything will be allright.

I'm sorry everyone for making bad posts. I didn't mean it.
>>
No. 6600
36 kB, 720 × 478
I recently dug up one of my old Moomin books. I forgot how cozy these stories are and how warm inside they make you feel. Highly recommend these to you, Ernst, if you have not read them already. It is probably the best thing to come out of Finland since Rurik.
>>
No. 6602
43 kB, 309 × 307
>>6599
Me too man, no homo. I'm sure I'll make it over there too at some point. But let's not put all the good shit in the perhaps distant future. Got to have some of the carrot or you just get used to the stick after all. We have our hangout times on EC, me learning WoW and us doing that at some point in the near future perhaps and other things that might crop up yet, like all the things you're going to be able to do for yourself when you get your money flow squared away and not flushed away on booze. You talked about the gym, art and maybe swimming. It's not just a turn around on your end, it's an upward spiral. Plenty of shit to look forward to that'll happen before those bigger things do.
>>
No. 6603
>>6569
yeah but usually the publisher has to keep track of rights and license, not the translator. When you go to a publisher with your translation it is not published, so where should a law suit come from?
Or is it about fishy publishers that could get you into trouble because they won't keep track of the rights/license?
>>
No. 6608
83 kB, 302 × 389
>>6603
No idea because so far it's just a second hand account by my mother of my father's third hand account.
And my father still haven't said a word about the supposed "information" he came across so it's all foggy and uncertain.
(It's completely bydlo tier I know.)
>>
No. 6622
>>6608
Just relax. You get the translation done and see what is happening next.
>>
No. 6631
>>6622
That's what I told them. It's not a catastrophe that would have happened a day or two from now, since I still have 4 chapters to go, and then I'll start the reworking of the finished text.
I probably took this little exchange the wrong way, because they just don't want me to get into trouble, but unconsciously it felt like an attack on my work and career idea.
At age 18, this is currently my magnum opus, however egoistical that may sound.

I'm currently sipping tea from the gaiwan I bought. I took out my fanciest tea to drink, since this is the first occasion.
>>
No. 6636
>>6631
It is definitely a great junk of work but you will want to exceed it with the next anyway I think.

I'm 26 and haven't got the shit done I want to get done, but whatever will happen in the next years, most things take a lot of time and effort if you want to be good. And personally I certainly invest too less or I am doing it wrong, having a wrong technique, so I feel and think. But I perhaps exceed many people on certain fields but I still feel like I don't know shit, I cannot articulate myself well and coherent enough in german that is but my english must improve again because I need to read more english texts because I did not really understand the things I read, that is where my technique lacks its raffinesse it badly needs. It has to be a different technique. Less quantity and more quality close reading but growing up in a fast moving information society makes it hard to adapt to such techniques

So far my troubles.
>>
No. 6637
Mommy and I had a stern talk and looks like I won't be drinking anymore.

Apparently I stole 1 buck while drunk to buy more beer, and it's a huge scandal.
>>
No. 6638
24 kB, 657 × 527
>>6637
Her point is that you swiped the dollar in the first place. She's pretty experienced with alchoholics and it's almost a certainty that she's noticed you heading towards alcoholism rather than just drinking.
>>
No. 6641
20 kB, 341 × 431
>>6638
I wasn't sarcastic. Stealing's the final frontier before absolute degeneracy.
Something I've been thinking about is that when I was just drinking, I'd drink a can or two just to ease the depression when it got real bad. Like once a month or so.

Now I drink for the high. 6 cans a day to prolong it as much as I can. That's textbook drug-seeking behaviour. It feels exactly like hypomania: you feel like you're king of the world, but you're actually retarded.

On the bright side, me and my brother had a talk and he managed to get our sponsor to give me some pay. not the full amount, but at least 89%. For some reason, my brother is scared shitless of her, and is afraid to demand what is due. She senses this, and treats us like unpaid labor because she can get away with it. Well, nuh huh, I ain't bitch made. I did what any self-respecting man would do: got drunk, called my brother, cried and begged him to get her to pay me. I guess dignity ain't worth no money.

Interesting thing is, before she claimed that she has no funds to pay us since all of it went into investments. And now apparently she does have money after all. Bitch thinks she can fuck us over. Businessmen/women are scum, man. Trying to make us work for free.
>>
No. 6643
>>6641
>I wasn't being sarcastic
Oh. Two layers there though in my defense. Text and 'tism. It's good that you're stopping though, nothing good was coming from that road. It's also good that your mother has put her foot down so that you have some backup for stopping too. I get the feeling that getting an arse whupping for getting smashed is a decent deterrent.

Also, what is your job anyway? Is this still the internet cafe? What's with the sponsor stuff? Sounds like you're in the big leagues with partners and shit.
>>
No. 6645
>>6643
Brother's internet cafe is still running, mostly by cashiers and stuff.

Brother is working for some rich lady supplying PCs to government institutions (schools, etc) through government orders. It's pretty good money... for her. She takes 85% of the proits home. Brother gets 15%, and I'm a wagie.
I don't need much else, just some money so I can become self sufficient and do my own things on the side.

If brother manages to acquire some capital, and supply PCs for his own money, he'd be fugging rich. But alas, the bonus we get isn't enough to gather capital. She's pretty greedy.
>>
No. 6646
>>6645
Damn, that's fucking rough.

Reminds me a little bit of how greedy my workplace's owners are, but they're also greedy in a retarded way that ends up costing them money. Like we had a broken up floor that needed to be fixed to comply with health and safety regs. They got a guy to come in and spray a cheap, thin sealant over the holes and he said to give it a few days to properly set. They didn't want to close the place for a couple of days though so it got torn up by people walking on it and we're back to square one and down the money it cost to get the floors done. Then they had another guy come in and cut away the broken bits of flooring and replace it with new flooring, but water got in between the joins and warped it all and make the floor bubble a bit and once more it was back to square one and down the money because they didn't pay to get the job done right. Finally they just paid to get the floor replaced and by that point had probably spent more time and money trying to be penny pinchers than if they'd just fixed the damn floor from the get-go. Businesspeople aren't only the worst, they're fucking retarded to boot.
>>
No. 6649
>>6636
I actually already thought about my next project, and I wanted to try making a Hungarian rendition of the first two adventures from the Nibelungenlied.
At least that doesn't have a copyright problem.
>>
No. 6653
>>6646
Yeah, she's kinda like that too.
I know for a fact that if I leave this job, it's pretty much over. I'm doing the important stuff.

And she tries to hold our paychecks while making that much money. I guess she's banking on our familial relationships, like he'd give me the pay from his own money, or I'd work for free to "help out my brother", or something.

But I know how that shit works, you give them an inch, they take a foot. If I were a pushover, she'd get comfortable with not paying me on time. If my brother paid instead, she'd bank on that.

So I said fuck that and demanded that she pays me directly instead of him giving it to me in advance (like he wanted to do), so we can set a precedent. I don't know why brother's being such a pushover. You can't let a businessperson get a taste for saving money. They'll take advantage of it and make you work for free.

And even then the bitch only gave me 80% of my pay. Maybe I should deal with her directly instead of through my brother. Just tell her to pay up or I'm fucking off.
>>
No. 6655
>>6653
You certainly want to get what you're due, and if she's the employer then she should be the one paying you, not your brother. You do need to make it known to her that you are expecting what you are owed from her, but don't get too confrontational early on. I'm able to complain about things openly to my managers at work because I've worked there long enough that they can't really sack me without losing one of the more experienced kitchen staff. I wouldn't have lasted if I'd tried that kind of thing in the first few months. Make it known that you can't be replaced, or at least not replaced quickly and/or easily before you start tightening the thumbscrews really hard. Even if you aren't replaceable, they'll still be seeing you as an inexperienced new guy who is exactly that. Don't take the risk of no pay for a bit of immediate satisfaction. Get your 100% but don't immediately go for a bigger chunk. That'll just bite you in the arse.
>>
No. 6661
>>6655
Upping my pay's in the future agenda.
Right now I just want to set the precedent of "she pays me to do my job". Not bullshit like "take it from your brother for now" or "when there'll be money" or "when I see results".

She literally claimed to not have money, then somehow found it when push came to shove. That's why I want my brother to take away from this: she's full of shit, take what's due.
>>
No. 6664
>>6661
Yeah, 100% don't take that shit. She's on shaky ground there so it shouldn't be too hard. The fact that she caved under a little pressure shows that she' just trying to take you for a ride. Just thought I'd put it out there that it's best right now to just focus on getting what you're due instead of pushing your luck immediately.
>>
No. 6671
1,5 MB, 3264 × 1836
Today I drink Karelian Kefir. I wanted to work more on my 3d model but I so lazy. Feel like I want just play some video game. Wizardry 8 maybe? Or WotLK WoW..?
>>
No. 6677
>>6671
If you're the retro-game loving Russian, try StarCrawlers. It's a sci-fi grid based dungeon crawler and while it's not got a whole lot of complexity, there is enough there to make decisions meaningful and on many of the side missions you take without bogging it down and feeling clunky. It's also got a nice aspect of kind-of-sort-of stealth in that disabling security and not triggering various security things like tripwires or security cameras will both make the level easier to navigate because you don't have security measures turn on, and the alarm level goes down so you fight fewer enemies so your party doesn't risk as much injury which on higher difficulties carries between jobs. You can rarely outright avoid combat because it is a crawler, but you can make it a lot less common with clever play.

It's pretty fun and comfy. I really enjoyed it.
>>
No. 6689
218 kB, 1024 × 576
2,7 MB, 1920 × 1080
>>6677
Oh! On screenshots it looks nice, definitly something I want to try one day. I oftem miss such games because not very much follow indie and low budget stuff.

However in many of such games I don't like... style, graphics and overall render. All colors and textures like screaming that this is modern cheap game and there something.. that not so "catchy" in style and gameplay of such games for me, sadly. Like for example Wizardry 8 look very beutifull, and this.. well of cource I'll give it a try, and Underworld Ascedant and Bard's Tale 4, but well, something tells me I will not love them as much as classic titles. Thanks for advise anyway
>>
No. 6692
>>6689
It's a cheaper game and not the longest thing ever but it's well put together what is there and the side missions are a bit repetitive after a while but it's also not a full-budget game, they also released more features since I last played which should make it better in that respect, including just scrapping their plans for a DLC mechanics expansion and just updating the base game with it all at no extra cost which was a nice gesture. You'll appreciate the fact that the enemies are all 2d too I think.
>>
No. 6697
I made 2 huge bowls of Granita from plums and figs I picked in the garden

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Granita
>>
No. 6701
40 kB, 1430 × 1080
137 kB, 800 × 600
250 kB, 640 × 435
385 kB, 640 × 480
>>6692
>You'll appreciate the fact that the enemies are all 2d too I think.
Hmmm... why so? RETRO GAYMING not mean "2d is better than 3d!!" or anything like that. I don't know certanly why they choosed what they done, maybe to look game looks more "artistic" or "retro". Again, I don't say it's terrible, but meh, very averege digital art style, and from what I seen in some videos, sometimes far from the really quality one. Same goes with interface. I not much lurk about gameplay thought yet.
However what I may say that it is very ironic that back in mid-90s classic dungeon crawlers and RPG blobbers with tile-based movment was in real crisis - with newer PCs and popualr new games from first person in full 3d, or at least true 2,5d new borned FPS genre and ActionRPG genres made "fake 3d" dungeoncrawlers that was actually full 2d games obsolete. And all this square tile-based movment and many of actual mechanics was direct result of this fake 3d, and without them there was not that much meaning in this mechanics. And since this years, actual ARPGs and top-down/isometric RPGs compleatly replaced this old genre, exept some interesting experements to transfer first-person party experience in something more modern. For example, Betrayel at Kondor, with its almost free movment on map and turn-based ccombat in different field like was ultra-classic encounters that in WRPG died even more early and in JRPG who in core clones of early wizardry still alive. Or different Raven Software tryings to include RPG elements into FPS games, most known and most sucsessfull ones is Heretic and Hexen, thought
Best example and most known experement is of cource Might and Magic 6, but funny thing that this game might not exist at all. After release of CD version MM World of Xeen, New World Comuting was not interested in making first person blobbers anymore - they switched to different genres, most notably turn based stategy games only. Coninue ideas of King's Bounty, Heroes of Might and Magic spinn off become really something and they wanted to make games like that more, and they was popular. But when infamous 3DO company failed miserably with their console, they decided to become BIG COMPUTA GENE COMPANY and bought a lot small/averege game developers studios and become their publishers. Most ofthis studios was really meh and almost not known today. One of them was Archetype Interactive that developed Meridian 59 - first first person MMO game. 3DO back then seen sucsess of Ultima Online and wanted to make a lot monies from that. As obvious, they also bought a New World computing and wanted them make MMO too.. but after not best sales of Meridian 59 and overall change of policy (like it often happen with 3DO, this company was piss poor in buisness and always fail. I say more - if not Jon Van Canninghem's studio they died in 1996 most probably, not 2002) and maybe after Jon's complains they decided to allow NWC do what they do before - Heroes 2 come out in 1996 and was huge hit. Unlike too basic King's County and Heroes 1, HoMM2 was already very awesome and complex enough game to play it A LOT. However, this is different topic, what is also they done same time - Might and Magic 6 game. It is obvious that they never thought that they will back to RPG series, and complex story of it's creation, most of which unknown (or just I don't know lol) is proof of that. There was complex issues with story, how they hired wrighters to make book and new universe but than picked heroes sseting that was wierdly connected with original one but still have issues of connection because nobody thought before they will be that much connected etc. etc., game also very changed during development, there a lot trailers and beta gameplay that was very different from final game but this is not important that much in currecnt context, most important how technical part was - it was party game, but with absoluetly freedom of movment and explore like in doom for example, but still had opotional turn based combat and a clot of classic blobber mechanics. And it's worked! I metioned meridian 59 because some artistic elements and technical one very similar in both games, thought meridian 59 look much more like SHIT objectivly, MM6 style way more polished. MM6 was not that big game overall, espessialy compare to very famous classic MM series, known more in fanbase and classic RPG only community - at first becasue publisher was meh, at second - genre even with this more freedoms in eyes of people become obsolete, and technically for 1998 this game was outdated as hell - this year when Half Life come out, a lot people waited ultima 9, and this game that in some ways had very unortodox "genre" (I will not call free-movment-real-time-first-person-blobber-RPG as Genre, because well, you can list all games like this by fingers on your hand) and engine with graphics that in some ways was inferior to 1996 elder scrolls daggerfall version og XNgine was not something that may surprise AAA audience. But well, this game plays awesome and also awesomely feels. Combat may feel meh in real tie because basic mechanics not tranfered well and enemi AI is not exist at all, and most of game you ended like clicking HORDES of enemies, but well, New World Computing prooved that transfering blobbers into something beyond tile-based and turn based game is possible and overall MM6 was a very positively recepted game and Heroes become very sucsessfull series so they continued. Problem with publisher that they forced NWC to make new game every year, and not one - often multiple games and addons, so they quickly burned out. Heroes 3 was still awesome and well, it most popular game not in Heroes but in MM series overall, MM7 was okay, technically same game but with a lit impovments, however already outdated even more than MM6, and MM8 while in my opinion and 100% objectivly a good game, relised in 2000 was ULTRA outdated because technically by gameplay and engine MM7 and MM8 was like stadalone expansions to MM6, and publisher did not made opportunities to make something more advanced. MM9 become full 3d game on LithTech engine, and had a lot awesome ideas of improvimg MM6-8 roleplay engine. Set in sseting of heroes4, it sadly was bad game. It was very, very unfinished and unpolished game, not in therms of overall playability, with fan path is playable, but with really major important parts of what make any game - good game - cut. This feel so empty, cheap and very unfinished it is real pain. And some little improvments may see only fan of actual series - for outsider this game be just shit. And it's released back in 2002, lol, same year Morrowind come out and year after Gothic, nobody need THIS. Jon Van Cannighem leaved development as I know, 3DO goes bancrupt, Might and Magic died and go to Ub*soft that still sometimes make shitty games with this name. How MM9 was connected to previous terrible PC port of terrible console Might and Magic spin-off is compleatly different story, and it be as long as my previous post. However I once created a thread about MM9 on KC, with detailed description of my thoughts on this game.
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No. 6702
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>>6701
Another games was Wizzards and Warriors 2000 and Wizardry 8 - first one was from very talanted guy who was in charge of Wizardry 7 and unreleased wizardry 8. Wizardry 8 was probably most late first person blobber, before genre officially died. It had like 0 budget and was made with support of some store or something and this game ended selling in only one chain of stores at first and ultimatly title was selled and ended in hands of Gooks, since gooks was fans of most ealry 70s-80s wizardry that created their JRPG genre. Yes, I say GOOKS. Sorry for that 4cancer tier slang, but I absoluetly hate what japan made with wizardry and I don't like JRPG in general.
And what ironic you ask? After all that pain that Blobbers transfer because all people throught genre was obsolete, it times when people start manage to make great games into modernised versions of blobbers, with more interesting and more modern but yet still true to traditions gameplay - IT DIED. AND NOW ALL INDIE BLOBBERS WE HAVE IF BASICLY CLONES OF THIS INFERIOR TILE-BASED 80S-EARLY90S BLOBBERS, SOMETIMES LIKE WITH LEGEND OF GRIMROCK MOST PRIMITIVE DUNGEON CRAWLERS THAT PEOPLE IN FICKING 1996 SEE AS OUTDATED AND DEAD GENRE AND ALL ATTEMPTS TO MODERNISE IT BACK THEN DIED AND NOT EVEN REMEMBERED NOWDAYS!
This game you showed are not that bad, and I don't want talk something bad about it honestely because I see indie devs are tried. But for fuck's sake, why all nowdays try to revive from all possible genres only this infinitie-engine style isometric RPGs that I honestely not liked very much exept Fallout games and top-down ultimas (yes, shame on me, Baldur's gate, planescape Tornament and Icewid Dale had on me much less impact than early ARPG and blobbers) like sometimes directly coping them in 2010s, and other - super old dungeon crawlers like there was not enough of them. Back then MM World of Xeen and Wizardry 6-7 and Lands of Lore 1 was basicly MAXIMUM that tile-based RPGs reached, and now they making unity-engine cheap games that like often trying to copy fucking bard's tale and dungon master with eye of beholder. And in this games they try use modern technologies, modern editors, modern interface all that funcy features, but fucking WHY? What is the world we live? Where is my fucking Wizardry 9? Why we need ANOTHER isometry and another CLASSIC DUNGEONCRAWLER when already there 9000 of them, and why we have only fucking 6 free movment blobbers in this world, and however when this games was not ultra top tier, they prooved that this genre can work and with good investment can be more interesting that tile-based one? I love this genre and this is my second favorite after classic ARPG I have litteraly only SIX fucking games from all time of makind to play.
Well, they do honestely Bard's Tale 4 as something like this, you have turn based gird based combat or something, and this girds kinda involved and generated, and you free movment outside combat but fuck I so don't like in which direction it all go - with this style of 2d-modern-digital art combined with untity engine graphics style, all that combat and things - it look 10 times cheaper than Wiz8 with it's awesome interface and animated painted portraits. And why they called it's Bard's tale? Real bard's tale 4 was cancelled due to copyright issues and original series died before era of dinosaurs? Ah, it's inXile who already REVIWED Wastleand that was done on same engine than Bard's Tale

I don't know why I done this post, I'am sorry you need to see this. All this dead, little cared about it back then, nobod anymore.
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No. 6703
>>6701
>>6702
Damn, very nice posts.

I'm kinda starting to feel like the worst poster here, since the only topics I care about are philosophy, psychology and central asian culture, and we already discussed it all to death with the aussie.

So I just blogpost now.
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No. 6704
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>>6703
Nah, I talked about all this a lot already, in KC amd previous EC. I can talk about it much more, but well, there honestely not much material you can talk about - this is most unpopular genre ever most probably, lol.
My tastes are wierd overall - I like low poly 3d graphics that most people hate, I like this genre however it objectivly showed that nobody interested in it. I like series of games that dead by now or changed into something compleatly different. I want to make games myself, and I even managed to learn something how draw things and how to make 3d models, but I absolute 0 at coding and absoluetly incompetent so only thing I can constantly chat about videogames from far past that I like
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No. 6705
>>6697
Never ate that before, but it sounds pretty good. How was it?
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No. 6707
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>>6704
I also have unorthodox taste in games (but I guess not as unorthodox as you). I am a big fan of the Sega Mega Drive, not just for the games, but the overall aesthetic - limited color palette, FM synthesis, powerful CPU that allows for fast paced games.
I think it was the perfect console tbh.
And it pisses me off that there's an entire soy-cult around nintendo, when the SNES was objectively worse than the Mega Drive.

I know some coding and learned 3D modeling as a teen out of interest, but it's going to be a while before I have the free time and motivation to work on anything. But if I ever do, it's probably going to be a post-apoc sci-fi side-scroller beat em up with RPG elements. Like Golden Axe with stat system. Inspired by stoner rock album covers.

I also like software rendered 3D games. There's something cozy about software mode that's not there in accelerated games.
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No. 6708
>>6701
>>6702
>Hmmm... why so? RETRO GAYMING not mean "2d is better than 3d!!" or anything like that
Because you've responded positively about 2d on 3d in the past? It wasn't a swipe or anything.

>why all nowdays try to revive from all possible genres only this infinitie-engine style isometric RPGs
At the end of the day, it's their game. They preferred the way grid movement felt to play, and honestly the game wouldn't work as well if it wasn't grid based because that allows it to skip over the problems of fine movement when they can provide a smoother experience of their mechanics by simplifying the movement process. I never got the sense it's trying to clone the older games, it's doing its own thing but using older mechanics. There was a very good speech at GDC a few years ago where one of the guy's points was that you shouldn't confuse interesting with fun and that you shouldn't do something to prove that you can do it. The grid movement is there to smooth the gameplay in the end because it was more fun to not have to edge your way forward inch by inch to get to the right spot, even if free movement might have been the more challenging and interesting option, it probably would have gotten tedious. Inspiration is obviously taken from older games but so what? RPGs take a lot more than that from paper RPGs but we don't complain about their mechanics. They went with an existing style of movement because it was already demonstrated to work rather than making something up just because they could. In other words, the decisions made were based on good game design principles.
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No. 6709
>>6707
Is said side scroller similar to our Mad Mambet talks a while ago? That was a pretty ebin setting tbh and 'techno-nomad' and 'cyber-bolshevik' sure do sound like something out of a pulpy post-apocalyptic story like the one on that cover.
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No. 6711
>>6707
There is nothing that you can do with software rendering that you can't do with hardware accelerated rendering though. Also, there are different techniques to software rendering, which can look quite different.
Fun fact: The mesa driver (most advanced FOSS driver framework) has three software renderers that are actively used by developers as reference for how some of their hardware rendering should behave. Especially the shader compilation is tested against the llvm-softpipe renderer to have a neutral "default" between nvidia, amd and intel.
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No. 6712
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>>6711
I realize, but I think the limitations of a medium have a strong effect on artistic choices.
I just find the idea of a game running on anything that doesn't even have a GPU ebin. And having a smaller frame buffer in the form of CPU cache might push you towards unorthodox techniques like lower color palette with dithering, etc. And also I imagine not having to have the GPU and CPU in lockstep, populating the VRAM before you can draw anything opens up a lot of freedom. Like doing branching logic on the frame directly. Could be ebin.

The limitations of CPU-GPU interfacing are already showing some ugly problems. Like the 2-3 frame delay necessary to implement Z-buffer object culling.

>>6709
Yes, there'd probably be 3 factions. The cyber-bolshevik/zaibatsu beaurocratic technocracy congolmerate vs communal tribalistic techno-nomads in alliance with japanese traditional romanticists (gotta give a nod to the shinobi series) vs fatalistic existential mystics/buddhists. There'd be three endings for each faction, ending in either hyper-utilitarian NWO, return to tribalistic communal harmony a la unabomber, and individual gnostic enlightenment and leaving the struggles of worldly needs to ascend to a higher plane, unmaking reality.

I'm not sure if I should add a 3rd faction in the form of fascist greko-roman man-worshipping transhumanist cult that attempts to elevete man to the status of god. Their shock troops would be android statues of David.
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No. 6714
>>6712
Well it's not that strange to have a neo-Hellenistic empire conquering their way in from the south considering the height of the Alexandrian Empire being in that region. Alternatively you could have it be P*rsoids trying to make the techno-nomads into a serf class of sarts to serve them when they transcend to rule as gods.
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No. 6718
>>6705

Just great. It's so damn rich in aroma and the natural sweetness (I didn't add sugar and water) is stunning thanks to the insanely sweet figs.

The kind of refreshment you can only wish for in over 30° temperatures.
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No. 6722
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>>6707
>I also have unorthodox taste in games (but I guess not as unorthodox as you). I am a big fan of the Sega Mega Drive, not just for the games, but the overall aesthetic - limited color palette, FM synthesis, powerful CPU that allows for fast paced games.
I'am absoluetly not a console player honestely, and have not high opinion about them. Well, I like Sonic and I sometimes like to learn about sonsoles and some console games, I know basic history and know major titles and memes, but overall I very divide classic PC gaming and console one - console games was always a 100% marketing product, aimed for very wide audience and basic console genres not that great and not that entertaining, but well, this is room for much more big disscution. And count this as "small entertaiment when you don't have everything to do elsewhere"

>I know some coding and learned 3D modeling as a teen out of interest, but it's going to be a while before I have the free time and motivation to work on anything. But if I ever do, it's probably going to be a post-apoc sci-fi side-scroller beat em up with RPG elements. Like Golden Axe with stat system. Inspired by stoner rock album covers.

Good luck with your tryings, hope you can make a lot monies with that.

>I also like software rendered 3D games. There's something cozy about software mode that's not there in accelerated games.
Personal tastes in 3D graphics are very complex theme for me too. I'd say that german poster answered you right, and this is more method of implementation rather than technology itself, but I know what you mean. Honestely I think that hardware acceleration with color lighting and texture filtering is good thing, and that actual 3d graphics looks absoluetly best from ~1997 to 2002/2003 untill normal mapping, more high polygonal stuff, ragdol physics etc. What important in graphic for me - is hand made animation and actual textures, how they was made and placed. I love textures from that time - in good games they was made by actual artists, with drawed all lights, detail that models lost and shadows. Well, in therms of actual rendering, I can 100% agree that Quake2 looks better of software rendering, I writed about thst multiple posts in previous video games threda when played thought Quake 2 and it's addons on modern sourceport that also allowed with some little features like resolution play it in software mode, and game looked like much less yellow blurey piss this for shure. However I bet you also thought about low resolution that make picture "pixelate" - well, my personal tastes is different, I like maximum modern resolutions, this is one of things that make picture of this classic games so "clear".

However I sometimes playing for enjoyment games like they was played back than, not long ago played Half-Life uplink that used old version of goldsource engine and still had that famous picture of WON-versions of HL1, sometimes I enjoy to play Doom on chocolate doom with this vanilla software redering feel, but this is more or less for diversity

>>6708
>Because you've responded positively about 2d on 3d in the past? It wasn't a swipe or anything.
No, I clearly don't said about it. I enjoy many style of classic graphics, and I not against modern graphic in general - what important for me more is style, for example, Lands of Lore 1 have very beutifull artwork and sprite graphics, with awesome painted-like cutscenes and Patrik Stewar voice

>At the end of the day, it's their game.
This was not about this concretic game, but more ritorical question, about why nobody making games like I told, instead making different games, with irony that back in the past this different games died while games that tried to replace them is what I like but they are died too if all of this make sence :--DDDD

>and honestly the game wouldn't work as well if it wasn't grid based because that allows it to skip over the problems of fine movement when they can provide a smoother experience of their mechanics by simplifying the movement process
I talk not about "just replace one mechanic I don't like it hurr durr", games I metioned was in many ways very different, with different gamedesign and gameplay feel. Most progressist in that therms was Might and Magic actually - back when all do dungeoncrawler blobbers, or combined first person with top down like old ultima (that then will shift 100% into top down, then to isometry and then to gothic-styl third person) MM from it's start and ith limitations of technology in 80s provided big openworld with dungeons, cities and wildreness - tilebased, but still big open game, that sometimes feel likse something that was way ahead of it's times on that therms. MM1 and MM2 used still a lot very classic RPG elements, like Encounters, randomisation of enemies and all that things that as metioned, STILL in JRPGs but when technology allowed - New Wordl Computing was first company who get rid of them. Since third game they changed a lot mechanics, to make more "realistic" interation where mobs actually placed on map, can move on gird too, you can avoid them or fight, no "invisible" or static enounters. And combined with Might and Magic forumla, it provide great adventure.

I really think that Might and Magic World of Xeen, combination of two games (four and five ones) in one game, even thought with all their restrictions and limitations, with most primitive dialogues and combat-orientated gameplay with some fun puzzles, still peak of such RPGs, because what giant world for this genre this games allowed - many cities, many regions, two sides on one world, hell lot of content for many, many hours, all not by text, but drawn in awesome and memorable graphic style by artists, with awesome music, cutscenes and overall feel. This game feel like big adventure, very big one and this is peak not of Might and Magic only, but tile-based movment RPGs in general. And sadly, most of modern indie RPG not provide such experience. A lot of this games go to more old "sources" of genre and creating low scale Dungeon crawlers.

I said all of this is to say that free-movment blobbers go even further than that, providing their styles of gameplay and mechanics, that really far from it's tilebased conterparts. And they shure can be MODERN RPG games in early 00s at least, if this genre once get actualy budget and AAA team to implement, not this tilebased games which ones is obviously just count on "retro"
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No. 6724
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>>6722
You're missing that crawlers and adventure RPGs are different genres even if they share mechanics. They're different enough that many paper systems simply ignore the one they're not working on. Some modular systems have even had to put out an entire series of supplements to convert from an adventure-based system to a crawler. That's one of the major differences between early D&D like 2e for example vs 3 or 3.5e. The latter took a step away and changed from dungeon crawler to adventure game with a focus to some extent on adventure that often led to dungeons. They're vastly different experiences because of this and D&D based systems will often pick one or the other to use because they're different genres despite mechanical similarities. It's the same thing when you say that it's so great that game x, y, z had a big open world but it's not good that people are making dungeon crawlers because they don't have an open world. That's like me saying that it's good that Falcon BMS simulates AESA radar in multiple scan and tracking modes as well as various other kinds of sensor but arcade flight games being made is them making bad flight simulators. It's not the case. They're both aircraft-based games that share a similar premise but their execution is completely different. A crawler, and especially a hub-based crawler has a different dynamic to an open world game, even one on a grid, because there is delineation between the home base and the dungeon where one drains money for resources while the other drains resources for money and both of those prepare you for tougher fights and dungeons. Compare it to an open world system where there is no delineation between exploration and home base. Being at a hub doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't consuming resources and going out doesn't mean you're going to find money. If people want to make crawlers rather than grid-based open world games then it's a genre choice, not them choosing to make an inferior product.
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No. 6726
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>>6724
No no, you get me slightly wrong. At first - example of might and magic was one of examples how this idea evolved to something more big. Still I'd not count there differences between this opeworld and this dungeoncrawlers as something major tbh, since compuetr classic RPG are not pan and paper ones, and had it's limitations and all first person blobbers of that time followed more or less same scheme of gameplay. Of cource many games had different roleplayling system, but I may say that Might and Magic "open world" was not something that changes this game absoluetly from others. This openworld are like same 100x100 gird of tiles, which like dungeon hub but without walls and actuale texture of sky and top insteads of texture of celling, plus some additional mechanics of "swimming" "navigation" and "climbing" that create natural restriction in this "hub". This all add more FEEL aspects, that gameplay ones and it's better for you to play yourself or whatch how it is instead of me trying to describe it in poor english

For example Wizardry games to the end was much more lienar and dedicated to dungeons and smaller areas, even when 8 become free movment. All I wanted to say that free movment blobbers create overall gameplay with already metioned possibilities, making levels and making dungeons that way they are builded for movment and combat systems they allow, not just smae tile-based layouts with just freedom of movment.
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No. 6732
>>6726
I've studied game design principles long enough to know that having the 'same 100 tiles' isn't a measure of similarity. The structure of a crawler and the structure of an adventure RPG work on completely different premises, and a hub-based crawler functions on a different one again. Fundamentally when one designs a game, one is trying to give a certain experience, emotional ones are the most effective. An adventure RPG seeks to capture that feeling of adventure that you spoke of while crawlers are about battling monsters and finding gold and the excitement that comes with them. So if the premise of the two genres is to create different experiences, how is it that they are not different kinds of game? It might seem like a minor detail, but the game design process can make sweeping changes to something based on very small tweaks to ideas. A crawler would feel very strange if it was built the same as an adventure RPG and then hemmed into a dungeon. I bring up paper RPGs because they are inextricably linked to this period of PC RPG design. A lot of these games run on hidden rolls and resolution tables just like a paper RPG does. Many of the games even use modified versions of existing systems, or at least ones heavily influenced by them. You can't just say that they're a different thing without relevance when the PC versions are often operating under the same kinds of rules and so tended to have their rules tweaked to what subgenre they're going for. You use the example of a swimming skill. What's clever there for example is when they did it, they did it in a way that makes you feel like you've cheated the game. You beat the obstacle that it put in your way and were able to explore because of it. Most all mechanics are tied to the premise of the game in similar ways. So while it might seem like a trivial difference as a player, in terms of design theory they are massively different beasts.

>free movment blobbers create overall gameplay with already metioned possibilities, making levels and making dungeons that way they are builded for movment and combat systems they allow, not just smae tile-based layouts with just freedom of movment.
Yes and grid-movement can also fit into a design process as the superior system to free-movement. Movement on a grid is in no way an outdated mechanic. It's largely unpopular now because people are used to free-movement and don't like the 'why can't I move half squares?' aspect of it but its certainly got ways to tie mechanics to it that improve the gameplay over free-movement. Using the StarCrawlers example, lots of its design is based around navigating security systems. You'll often find yourself having to observe a room and figure out a path through it. Moving on a grid means that your movement is predictable and you know exactly where and where not is safe (so long as you identified it correctly as a safe square). It'd be a lot clunkier and less fun if you had free movement where you're tripping over wires because you don't stop fast enough or being off by a couple of centimetres with your movement so you trigger a pressure plate and so on. That's a fine experience but it's not the one they're going for. They want you to feel like a slick infiltrator when you're navigating the security so having an intuitive way of making the movements clean contributes to that goal. Don't think of grid to free movement as a forward movement. It's a sideways movement.
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No. 6752
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>>6732
>Movement on a grid is in no way an outdated mechanic.
And I don't said it. I said only that a lot people thought so back in mid 90s, which actually caused all this things about creating new genres in first place. I against tell about any actual "art" as "outdated" and all this thoughts are subjective. What I also wanted to say, that Wizardry 8 and MM9 if they had more budget and was more sucsessfull, can compete even with Morrowind, which was top-AAA ARPG game in 2002 on same market.

>It's largely unpopular now because people are used to free-movement and don't like the 'why can't I move half squares?'
Well, I may say that overall blobbers are become unpopular since mid 90s because hell lot of reasons and never recovered again, and nowdays from all indie do in therms of blobbers mostly tile-based games. Most popular "RPG" genres now is Action RPGs that mutated in action advanture games and isometric clones of same games of late90-early00s.

>An adventure RPG seeks to capture that feeling of adventure that you spoke of while crawlers are about battling monsters and finding gold and the excitement that comes with them.
And this what classic Might and Magic was. There some elements of "adventure" but there not that far ahead of same leements in wizardry of same time. All you do in classic MM - make more money, fight more level mosnters, take look, take gear to fight more powerfull monsters. This is not some Fallout or Gothic with COMPLEX DIALOGUE, ADVENTURE ELEMENTS, all that stuff that you may see in more modern acventure games. Implementation of this world was elegant, but simplistic and in this times metioned "border" between dedicated Adventure RPGs and Dungeon Crawlers in first person blobbers was very blurry.

>So if the premise of the two genres is to create different experiences, how is it that they are not different kinds of game?
Each game provide you different experience if this game not absolute clone, even if this is same genre basicly. Wizardry and MM used same basic premises, but their authors count on slightly different things, not because it was different genres, but because how different people see what more imortant, and what not. And both this systems can with little adjustments work as dedicated "crawler" or "crawler with open world hub".

>I bring up paper RPGs because they are inextricably linked to this period of PC RPG design
True, but not by all things. Basicly Pen and paper was more or les personal humans adventures, stories and games where roleplaying system used as instrument, thought in early RPG games it was hard to implement something besides very basic elements with a lot limitations. And even this system is started in idea of copying DnD or other famous and popular systems and there be a lot licensed games, hell lot of different games go by their own pat, creating different systems, some of which will not make sence in Pen and Paper but that who absoluetly fit possibilities and restrictions of computer.

>So while it might seem like a trivial difference as a player, in terms of design theory they are massively different beasts.
I say that by desighn it not added much, this games, even if we talk of most early ones, was primitive enough where just adittional stat and perk changed this game "genre". Funy that in this early games because restrictions a lot mechanis that may sound very "big" in this limited games was very dedicated and small things that just add some small randmisation or some single even that not affect game overall, like In MM3 Isles of Terra your "alignment" need only in one slot machine and to which king (that was called same - neutral, evil and good king which is as generic as it sounds) you give Orbs to get XP and this is all, Same in early Wizardry was same system because in some floors was allowed only certain aligment types and this is all too - no any magic or any complex RPG story.
>>
No. 6755
Visited parents today. Nice day, but then I made the critical mistake of partaking in a discussion and being honest with my answers after my mum drank two glasses of beer.

Now the mood is pretty frosty and my mum is disappointed and angry at me because I don't watch the news. Or, to be precise, because the version of me that she perceives is rejecting values that are invariablby ingrained as important in her conditioned view of the world.

Okay, I didn't know that a bridge collapsed in Italy. Of course this is not the kind of information I actively try to avoid, it is "collateral" to miss such things because I actively try to avoid other things: Political bullshit. I tried really hard to explain that it doesn't mean that I am apolitical or that I don't care about other people or what happens to all of us. But try as I might, there is no way to get her to understand anything now.
It's not like she is drunk, but her capability of self-reflection is disabled. That is something I find very hard to deal with, because I don't want to lie to her and I don't want to just shut up and reduce my ansers to yes and okay.

Oh well, it will all be forgotten tomorrow. And yet there is a quiet but steady fear that I will eventually become like her when I'm 70. All the more reason to stay my course and not start consuming alcohol ever. Except for the wine I use for cooking, obviously
>>
No. 6769
9 kB, 238 × 192
Man, I feel like shit. Really drowsy, anxious about my sister coming home from her trip and also working again on Tuesday. It's making my head throb, feels almost like I can feel the blood moving through my heda.
>>
No. 6771
567 kB, 2277 × 1300
My father has just been brought back from a private clinic that specializes in stopping drinking binges. He is now walking around the house trying to talk to me and to some inanimate objects. He also falls asleep and when he wakes up he comes up and tells me about his dreams. His dreams are either about the Brusilov offensive of 1916 or his days as a student in university. While it brings a slight smile to my face, I'm not gonna pretend like I didn't enjoy not being pestered by him while he was in the streets drinking God knows what.

Oh, and I went outside and saw a yellow leaf on the ground, which means that winter is getting closer and closer. I cannot wait for that to happen because no season is worse than the three month long imprisonment is hell that is summer.
>>
No. 6774
>>6771
>His dreams are either about the Brusilov offensive of 1916
The Brusilov offensive might have been one of the most underrated attacks in the war, and Brusilov being one of the most underrated commanders.
Best of health to your father.
>>
No. 6776
309 kB, 1200 × 707
768 kB, 1000 × 1263
502 kB, 797 × 693
95 kB, 600 × 421
>>6774
>The Brusilov offensive might have been one of the most underrated attacks in the war
IMO it is rated adequately since the attack led to absolutely nothing aside from easing the situation in the west.
Not sure if unknowingly or not, but Brusilov pretty much gamled the future of the Russian Empire on operation since the last remaining reserves were used as wel as a lot of materiel.

Hell, the man himself admitted that his offensive proved to be completely fruitless since the Austrians were not knocked out of the war due to the fact that the Germans managed to send their divisions to Austria.

Even if the Russian empire had entered into central Hungary, AH would have most likely stayed in the war since the Imperial army would not have any troops to reinforce the front with and continue the advance towards Budapest.

All in all, it was a major victory on the tactical level but strategically did more harm than good.

>Best of health to your father.
Thanks but it seems like my father already has 11/10 HP since any other person who had similar drinking habits would have been long dead.

Also, to the Australian Ernst who is fascinated by steppe culture:
Take a look at Vasiliy Vereschagin's paintings, I think you might find that they have a large amount of SOUL in them.
>>
No. 6777
There's a 1.5 liter can of 10% lager that's like 30% cheaper if I bought the same amount with 0.5 liter cans, but the particular shop I went to sold them for the same price as if I would have to pay for 3 0.5l cans.

I feel ripped off. Also, I'm buying a gym membership and going to gym since tomorrow 7 AM. Protein powder is expensive here, so I decided to buy soy isolate instead, which is 100% protein, but much cheaper.
>>
No. 6778
>>6777
Forgot to mention that since being drunk gives me maniacal psychosis, I'm going to consume a can of beer every morning before workout. IT pretty much disables my psychomotor retardation from depression. 150kg bench press soon.
>>
No. 6779
5,7 MB, 3228 × 2251
964 kB, 1772 × 1179
125 kB, 1280 × 685
>>6776
I can practically smell the sunburn from here on the first painting. That's Bukhara isn't it? Either that or Khiva, I just remember that it's from the Turkestan campaigns. Fun fact about them is that they were strategically vital to maintaining their gains from the conquest of the Kazakh Khanate because you can only control so much of a region with forts. If they didn't hold the major cities in Central Asia, then their grasp on the whole region would erode over time because they'd have no administrative centres and would have to rely on isolated outposts until they could get new towns built (as they eventually did with Almaty being formed around the fort by settlers).

I wouldn't mind going to Uzbekistan at some point. It's on my list, Bukhara and Khiva are both really interesting and beautiful places, and the Ferghana valley is also the same albeit for different reasons.
>>
No. 6780
>>6778
Anybody have that picture of the massive Mongol guy with the girls hanging off him? I feel like it's appropriate here :-DDD
>>
No. 6781
>>6779
I am pretty sure it is Samarkand since Vereschagin was one of the 600 besieged Russians there.

https://www.wdl.org/en/item/14933/
>>
No. 6782
>>6781
Yeah, looked it up. It was the conquest of the Emirate of Bukhara but the painting is of Samarkand. I got Khiva from him also being there.
>>
No. 6783
67 kB, 604 × 453
>>6780
R.I.P. schizobrick. Died bench pressing while drunk.
>>
No. 6784
>>6783
Death fit for a hero.
>>
No. 6786
welp, I was supposed to do work today, but I'm drank myself into a stupor. so much for quitting
>>
No. 6789
>>6786
Damn it boy, don't make me get my belt.
>>
No. 6790
Why eberybody gotta make me feel bad for drinking mnan>?

When I was going insane from schizo and about to kill myself, nobody gave a FLYING fuck until it went terminal and permanently altered my psyche.

But now that Iv'e started drinking and finally feel happy, it's suddenly a problem? I bet their onl;y obection is tat I smell like shit. Wellm, I smelled like shit back when I couldn't get out of bed to take a shower while depressed. But I didn't leave my room back ten so I guess they didn't care. Bunch of shallow fucks.

Well, I'm not gonna leave my room from now on either, and I'm not gonna talk to them. Fuck them.,

I need help.
>>
No. 6791
After replacing both inner tubes, rotating the tires, removing the derailleur, replacing the front and rear brakes(and brake cables because the old ones were frayed), putting on new pedals after discovering one was cracked, and finally after greasing everything finding the source of a mysterious scaping sound(one rear brake pad was too close to the rim) I think my bike is rideable again. Another small victory.
>>
No. 6792
Ypi kmnow what, alcohol brings nothing boot ghood

for example, back then I coukdn't get courage to kill myself, but now I' confident I can do it if drunk enough.

thumbs up for alcohol, helping me do the right thing.

uck realioty. gucking illusory stillborn universe. it's not even real anyway.
>>
No. 6793
I'm 50% sure that if I kill myself, I will wake up in a higher meta-reality, and that this one was just a dream
another 50% is that I will face oblivion forever

both are favorable outcomes.
>>
No. 6794
>>6793
Don't do it. You are a nice poster, EC wouldn't be the same without you.
>>
No. 6795
15 kB, 832 × 958
>>6794
Every aspect of this universe was hand-crafted to cause suffering to the conscious inhabiting it.

Every aspect of my immutable being is a despicable festering pile of garbage.

If this universe is created for suffering, I want the exit door.
If this universe is, after all, good, then I don't deserve to inhabit it. The fact that I can't enjoy partaking in the miracle of life is proof enough that I am shit-born.

Vomiting feels absolutely amazing. It feels like entering a clean new body purified of shit and filth.

Whew. That felt good getting it off my chest. tomorrow I'll be sober and once again deeply submerged into the illusion of live, feeling as if I am making progress or have something to look forward to other than death. Immersed in this game, looking for another hit of dopamine or "happiness" or "fulfilment", and rationalizing it as meaningful events in life. But the next time I get psychotic, I will remember. I will remember it all.

Thanks for listening, I will lay down now.
>>
No. 6796
20 kB, 680 × 179
>>6790
Because you know as well as we do that while feeling bad and schizo might get worse (you've skirted the line before and always come back to quote unquote 'normal', remember the stalking incident for example?), drinking yourself into a stupor on the daily is basically guaranteed to get worse and permanently fuck you up. That's why I personally am more worried about your drinking than your usual unaltered frame of mind, one is irrational and stupefied while the other acts on logic based on different premises to most. It's not me not caring about your happiness at all but rather not wanting to see a mate do something stupid. Don't go cold turkey, that's not going to work. Ration yourself for now. One regular sized can per day, none of these 1.5l ones neither. Enough to give you the buzz you need to move but not enough to get you drunk. After you feel the withdrawal going down some then you can cut it back further and further until finally you can quit.

>>6793
Bullshit. We've been saying that for basically as long as we've been on EC and we've both been in rougher patches than this, with more reason to actually give it a shot. If they were actually positive we'd not be having this conversation. They're neutral more than anything. I dunno what to say exactly, but I know you want me to say something judging by these posts so there I go.
>>
No. 6797
>>6795
And if the universe simply exists? Not for suffering? Not for virtue? But simply is there doing its thing? It's one thing to try and understand human behaviour and how you don't fit into the majority of human society, but if the unvierse has some meaning to it, then it is beyond human comprehension and isn't really worth considering as an argument, kind of like how what we see as a hypercube is not actually what a 4d cube would look like, it's just the closest thing to it that we can understand with the limited faculties we have.
>>
No. 6798
>>6796
About the stalking incident.

I saw that girl again on the bus like a month back. She was wearing a tank top and short-short jeans. She was quite short, but curvy, and her boops were huge for her size.

She was pretty young and probably in college ("college" is what we call the 3 year educational institutions that you go to after 9th grade. the usual after high school thing is called "university") so I felt bad for being horny. I mean, back then she was fully clothed, so it wasn't possible to guess her age by her physiological markers (that artistic anatomy classes are paying off I see).
She had pretty nice lips, but the way she dressed was REALLY slutty, which turned me off.

I won't be stalking her any more. In fact, I won't be stalking anyone any more. There are so many pretty girls everywhere, I see 10 girls worth falling in love with on a daily basis. So I just gave up, there's too many variables.

If I'm ever gonna marry, I'm just gonna pick the 5/10 I went to school with. We got along really nicely, and she was the only person in my class I wasn't irritated with being around.

>>6796
You are right, I am full of shit. This reality is just too nuanced, interesting and worth exploring to kill yourself prematurely. Even if it's created for suffering, it's still interesting to inhabit and explore. Kinda like reading a horror manga.
>>
No. 6799
I just like the aesthetic of fatalistic metaphysics, ok.

I conceived the idea o the Ominmalevolent God. He is like christian god, but omnimalevolent instead o omnibenevolent.

I should write a book about metaphysical existential horror. Lovecraft would shit his pants
>>
No. 6800
>>6798
Like I said, whenever you get close to the tipping point, you either get bored, distracted or just rationalise your way out of it. That's what I meant by your regular schizo behaviour being a 'may go bad' with experience telling me that it probably won't cross any lines while your drinking behaviour has already crossed multiple lines with no evidence of stopping. Which one is meant to cause me more worry?

As for your marriage prospects, I'm glad you've got it thought out I guess. If I'm not at least invited though, I'll be very cross with you :-DDD
>>
No. 6801
34 kB, 200 × 139
>>6800
Don't worry man, when you immigrate to kazakhstan, I'll set you up with a cute traditional kazakh girl.
She will make you kazy karta and kumis every day.
>>
No. 6802
>>6799
Tbh, I find the concept of an omniambivalent universe a bit spoopier than an omnimalevolent god pissing in my coffee. The latter is kind of understandable, I hate lots of things too after all. I know shit about the real universe from within my perceived reality bubble and fear of the unknown is a powerful and primal thing.
>>
No. 6803
14 kB, 319 × 331
>>6801
Will we have to touch? I have an overdeveloped sense of personal space.
>>
No. 6804 Kontra
>>6803
Besides, I looked at working over there already and I can't actually immigrate there beyond a biannual from memory visa because I'm not an Oralman. Kazakhstan is a genuine ethnostate.
>>
No. 6805
>>6803
Just a firm handshake every morning.

t. knower of autistic girls

>>6804
It's ok, I'll hide you from the immigration police in my spook shelter (I'll build it for hiding in after burning down chinese office buildings on the east kazakhstan)
>>
No. 6806
>>6805
Speaking of autistic and marriage reminds me of John Stuart Mill's proposal to his future wife. Rate.

Being about, if I am so happy as to obtain her consent, to enter into the marriage relation with the only woman I have ever known, with whom I would have entered into that state; & the whole character of the marriage relation as constituted by law being such as both she and I entirely & conscientiously disapprove, for this amongst other reasons, that it confers upon one of the parties to the contract, legal power & control over the person, property, & freedom of action of the other party, independent of her own wishes and will; I, having no means of legally divesting myself of these odious powers (as I most assuredly would do if an engagement to that effect could be made legally binding on me) feel it my duty to put on record a formal protest against the existing law of marriage, in so far as conferring such powers; and a solemn promise never in any case or under any circumstances to use them. And in the event of marriage between Mrs. Taylor and me I declare it to be my will and intention, & the condition of the engagement between us, that she retains in all respects whatever the same absolute freedom of action, & freedom of disposal of herself and of all that does or may at any time belong to her, as if no such marriage had taken place; and I absolutely disclaim & repudiate all pretension to have acquired any rights whatever by virtue of such marriage.

>I'll build it for hiding in after burning down chinese office buildings on the east kazakhstan
Abul-Mansur pls.
>>
No. 6807 Kontra
18 kB, 498 × 409
>>6805
I'm going to continue the joge with a diagram of the average morning in the Ernstyurt™
>>
No. 6811
I went to a cemetery today. It is a park cemetery, so you have graves but also bright ways and lots of bushes and trees and some bigger lawn spaces.

It's also the cemetery where most rich people of my town are buried. Including an Red Army Fraction terrorist who was the son of a millionaire tradesman. I luckily found the (abandoned) family grave within a few minutes.
Then I had a stroll around the park and watched other graves, people who died in WW1 near Helgoland as captain on some battle ship. Also quite interesting that during the Kaiserreich there was a certain style of tombstone apparently, a black obelisk with a cross on top. Some of the richer peoples graves were quite astonishing. Today everything is minimal. Back then they it was a bit more decorative.
At least the people listed on that tombstones died before 1920 or 1950 so maybe the have been placed there later.
>>
No. 6812
>>6811
Prices changed I suppose. Even my folks who just had a homestead could afford a decent double plot that was fully covered over and then headstones to boot back around Federation (1901). I've seen it myself and it's in bad shape because nobody can afford to fix it anymore :-DD. Similar reasons that my parents are both on one plaque, no headstone. Say what you will about paying dues to the dead, the living have still gotta pay for food too.
>>
No. 6814
>>6791
Nice, I like solving some broblems by myself, and you'll be sure to check the brake pads next time first.
rated 8.5 learning experience.
>>
No. 6817
Getting drunk at home as I read about Rashka. This is the life.
>>
No. 6819
4 kB, 214 × 236
Spend my limited free time on walls of text on EC
>>
No. 6820
>>6819
On the flipside, writing down your thoughts and ideas is a good way to structure them properly.
>>
No. 6821
>>6820
Does drinking need proper structuring?
>>
No. 6822
>>6821
Of course. Today I structure it at home as I have missed mass.
>>
No. 6823
38 kB, 400 × 400
>>6820
Yeah, I guess so. Only problem if this idas needed for someone exept myslef
>>
No. 6824
Ok, I need to quit for real now.

Not only do I spend a fuckton of money (for me) on booze, I spend even more while drunk on dumb shit like fast food or cab rides for a walking distance, and smoke like a fucking chimney. I'm up to like 1.5 packs a day.
I blew like 20% of my monthly pay in like 3 days. I'm giving all of my money to mum, fuck this.

I just wish I could find another way of disabling psychomotor retardation, sluggishness and weakness that comes with depression.

Maybe weed lmao.
>>
No. 6825
>>6823
Even in the course of better structuring one's own ideas, you can gain a better understanding of the facts that you have absorved via osmosis.

As far as I see it, if one has to say, explain an historical event to another person, one gets a far better understanding of it as one realizes the gaps in knowledge that one might have about said topic.
>>
No. 6827 Kontra
>>6824
I know someone who wasted >10.000€ by drinking and sometimes other drugs and doing shit like getting a Taxi, spent a small fortune on fast food delivery 2-3 pizzas and some expensive alcohol from the venue

You see, alcoholism is shit. And what you perceive it to be and what you think it makes out of you as a person chad etc is corrupted by the alcohol in your veins itself. You have experienced your father, we happen to know alcoholics or had problems ourselves. It's really hard to deny that alcoholism is utter shit and life destroying.

There are other ways to overcome reclusive behavior. Usually alcohol will make you reclusive in the long run. The other way would be a line of flight from schizo-reclusive and alcoholism to a rather open and enjoying life with meds against the hard schizo turns
>>
No. 6828
>>6824
Your temporary relief is making your depression itself worse. You're also only using that as a rationalization for wasting all your money by being a drunk. The central problem is the alcohol.
>>
No. 6854
>>6827
>>6828
Yes, the cycle of intoxication is devious.
It goes something like this
>man, I feel "bad" (actually minor depressive symptoms that I used to be able to ignore), one beer wouldn't hurt to give some "relief"
>drunk, ability to make rational decisions compromised
>I feel kinda nice, let's go for another
>and another
>and another
>etc
>do a bunch of stupid shit while drunk, spend unnecessary money, be inappropriate with people
>in the evening, headache, hangover, guilt, regret
>"I won't drink anymore"
>repeat

You can't even drink a bit and go "I won't drink any more or do any stupid shit while drunk", because when you do get drunk, you don't care anymore and go full retard. There are no brakes during hypmanic high.
>>
No. 6855
>>6854
It's pretty much classic alcoholism symptoms. I was like that and somehow managed to be kinda even keeled enough to function for years. Mostly. But see the thing is there always comes a time where for whatever reason, say it's too much stress in life, too much money, not enough money, wrong people to be hanging around, different jobs, whatever the situation that helps make it untenable. And the problem is by then you probably already would have rationalized it to yourself very very well and no longer even notice, until shit slides and you just stop caring by then. At least if you're still getting hungover and feeling shitty about your behavior you're not that deep in. The problem is the Irish nightmare/fantasy: the drink that doesn't end. At that point you stop getting hangovers because your tolerance is too high. If anything, hangovers are the final regulator. Typically once you figure out how or what to drink with no hangover is the beginning of the end. Then you just stop sobering up fully.
>>
No. 6857
159 kB, 1200 × 1200
Just redownloaded Darkest Hour. I am thinking about playing as Germany and trying to end the Great War by Christmas of 1914.
For some reason this part of my post got deleted. I have spent the previous night reading about the first months of WWI due to the fact that my previously drunk father is now acting like a psycho because of the pills he has been taking. He has been bugging me for hours and I regret the fact that I opened the door for him when he was brought home from the rehabilitation centre.
>>
No. 6862
Dreamt of living the gangsta life and shuffling paper
The only paper I shuffle now is A4 sheets at the office
And the manager's my pimp.

What do you call a girl passed out drunk at a party? An alco-hole!!!!! LMAO (seriously tho, why do I have to revoke my dignity when drunk, but girls don't? If you have consented to drinking alcohol, you consent to everything that happens to you afterwards). RAPE LMAO!!!111111

Does anyone else get a compulsion to pelvic thrust at people while drunk? Is it the inherent property of alcohol or just my personal quirk?
>>
No. 6864
>>6862
Are you drunk on the job again?
>>
No. 6865
>>6862
Just your personal quirk.
>>
No. 6866
>>6864
I am losing control man.
I can't even do my job properly anymore.
I am fucked mate.

It's either no drink at all or smashed into a stupor. One or two cans don't give me euphoria any more.

Funny thing is, before I started taking SSRI, I wasn't interested in alcohol at all, since it only made me sluggish and confused, and didn't give me pleasure. Guess I had a deficiency of serotonin for alcohol to actually work.

Maybe I should quit anti-depressants.
>>
No. 6867
Fortunately, there doesn't seem to be any serious work for today and tomorrow.

Well, I already fucked up on thursday/friday due to being intoxicated, but eh, shit happens.
I mean, that's why there's no work today in the first place. We missed the opportunity to finish the last week's work before weekends, and time has run out on sunday, so there's nothing to do now.

Well, I guess I should start sorting out stuff for wednesday, thursday and friday, but meh. It can wait.

Lmao

help me
>>
No. 6869
ok don't panic
if I stay sober tomorrow (lol)
I can finish all work until next monday at a comfortable pace

heh, this job is easy as fuck, if I weren't drunk all the time, I could finish a week's worth of work in like two days and get another part time job and earn twice as much
>>
No. 6870
You know what, this isn't even fun any more;.

The euphoria probably lasts for an hour+ at max, the rest is just being sick, disoriented and mentally retarded.

Fuck this.
>>
No. 6872
that feel when feeling like catching cold, and really do not want cold

does Ernst have top "smother cold in the crib" tips?

t. wearing warm woolen hat, 5 jackets, and drinking many water with soup and toast for dinner, with early bed sleep

I hope this will slay the virus
>>
No. 6874
>>6866 et al.
Come on mate. I know you can do better than this. You mightn't like to admit it but you've got pride and being a drunken lout and having everybody around you know it surely can't be healthy for your pride. It's not going to last forever neither. Eventually they're going to just get sick of you being drunk at work and sack you and then you're back to the penniless square one with the added bonus of being addicted to alcohol you can't afford.

>>6872
I dunno. I don't normally interact with enough people or go outside enough to get sick. Feels good man.
>>
No. 6876
>>6854
More or less the exact same actions like my alcoholic friend.
You are already in. Just get out. Give your mom your money.
>>
No. 6878
>>6872
That feel when have a cold sore, surrounded by a million chinks.
>>
No. 6880
125 kB, 640 × 1200
>>6878
What does having a cold sore have to do with chinamen? Are they going to shut down the borders? Are you patient zero?
>>
No. 6881
It is a herpies virus on your face and 98% of the population have never had this.
So just general ostracisation coupled with the face I have a disgusting growth on my face, but meh.

Also this is ground central for viruses such as Swine Flu, Avian flu and any other flu which will kill you.
>>
No. 6884
>>6874
I don't feel very dignified just yet.
Sure I made some money, but I gave most of it to mum and still don't have any disposable income on stuff like clothes and... things (what do normies spend their money on anyway?). At least mom doesn't have to go to loan sharks to make ends meet any more.

I can't even move out yet.
Then again, if I fail at my new boring job, I won't have a pay rise, and that means I won't move out ever.

I'll just tell mum to only give me enough money for water and bus fare. She already cooks my lunch anyway.
>>
No. 6885
>>6884
You want more money stop smoking.

I think working is healthy as you can focus all your problems on work, and man was meant to work anyway.

10% vol beer is called tramp juice in UK, and you should eat before you drink and never drink before 4pm.

Curious about what your mother said because you said she told you off and it was the end of your drinking.

Could you feasibly move to a foreign country and work a minimum wage job for a few years, I know this is what a lot of poles did.

If I was you I would either finish your education and move to the city, or work 3 years abroad, finish your studies and get an office job.

Whatever you do, drinking at work is fucking stupid, I mean I think you have only worked for 1 month and you carry on like a homeless tramp, getting fucked up, regardless to any consequences and complain you ain't making a million dollars, I would never hire anyone who drank at work, and if i paid them I would pay them the minimum because I know they would accept it.

You need a serious kick up the ass, and if you were my brother I would give you more than a few slaps, he gave you a job and you behave like a parasite.
>>
No. 6886
>>6885
Hey, hey.
He needs me more than I need him, ok.

Nobody but me can do this job, and I do 90% of the work anyway.

He could have at least paid me the full agreed amount instead of being a tight-ass. Hm.

I already live in the city and I'm not planning on going anywhere outside of this country, not before I have enough income to live well instead of cleaning toilets for first worlders.

Best case scenario, I want to find limited success on the kazakhstan and live here til the end.
The rest of the world sucks anyway.
>>
No. 6889
I would like you to answer any of my questions, but you are under no obligation.

If your brother needed you how did he survive without you the previous five years.

Also, businesses work on credit usually you buy someting and get thirty days credit.

If you agree to do a job you may get 25% upfront, 25% on completion and 50% 30 days after the job is complete, this varies wildly.
You do not get 100% of the money upfront.

I am negative but you are living in a very small bubble and unable to see how you are perceived.
>>
No. 6890
486 kB, 525 × 383
Jesus Christ I hate how bydlo my relatives are.
>Aaand, what are your plans for the future, Ernst? What do you plan on studying?
>I tell them I want to become a translator of Chinese
>"But that's hard Ernst, have you thought this over, you know they have like how many characters?"
YOU PROLE FUCKS WHO BESCHAFTIGT SICH WITH THIS STUFF IN HIS FREE TIME?
YOU THINK I DID ABITURS IN ADVANCE WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT?
Every single one of them has this "Fuck you you aren't going to succeed but I'm going to curtail my attitude as concern for your future because I think you are stupid and haven't thought about it enough" attitude.
>>
No. 6891
There are a billion Chinese, a few million can translate much better than you a will work for pennies.
Average salary is 4-500 euro's a month.
>>
No. 6892
>>6890
Don't bother answering them seriously. It's okay to be a little edgy once in a while, so the next time someone asks you about it, say that you want to become an alcoholic. Or a politician. Or a gay prostitute. Or all three at the same time.
>>
No. 6894
>>6891
>>6892
Does it really sound that wrong and stupid that I want to do this and I believe I can do this?
>>
No. 6896
Find a niche and you could make money.
Speaking, listening is much easier than translating runes.
You have to what is written in Chinese, which has a demand to be translated.
How free would you be to get access as a foreigner to old hand written texts.

Would also add simplified Chinese is easier than Traditional Chinese.
>>
No. 6897
>>6894
No, not really, I personally think it's commendable. But to them it probably does, so don't cast pearls before swine and just fake apathy when talking to those people, if you are uncomfortable with the edgy answers I mentioned.
>>
No. 6899
66 kB, 700 × 1054
So I was walking down the street when I saw a certain book through the local bookstore's shopfront. It was Carl Mannerheim's biography and right there on the spot I realised that I really wanted to read it so I bit the bullet and bought it. Gotta say, it has been a really educational read. I didn't know that finns were pretty much forced to ally with Germany in WW2 and this book made me like the people of Ebinland a bit more, as strange as that may seem since a good portion of the text is about the Winter War.

Also, is it just me or does Mahherheim kinda look like he has assburgers? Maybe its the superior finnish genetics.
>>
No. 6901
>>6889
He survived doing computer repairs, internet cafe service, etc.

This is his opportunity to actually make a profit, and he needs me to do the intellectual labor. All the calculations shit and setting profit margins, etc. While he uses his connections to find vendors and clients.

Also, I don't give a shit about their expenses, both me and my brother were hired to work for that lady, and how she gets her money issues sorted out is her damn problem. I'm a wagie and I expect to get paid in full every month.

So yeah, I'm sober now. It went away quickly this time. I feel bored, my movements are slow and sluggish, and I have an urge to punch anyone who looks at me in the face. Haven't felt this way in a month. Feels like fucking home.

Can't wait for next month when I have disposable income to buy a nice easel and continue my painting hobby. Right now, I come home from work, sit down on my bed and realize that there's absolutely nothing for me to do. No frens, no disposable income, no hobbies, no interests. I used to deal with it by simply sitting down and waiting until I get sleepy enough to go to bed. Repeat the next day. I guess that's why it's hard for me to let go of drinking like a pig: it fills a hole.
>>
No. 6902
675 kB, 1600 × 1200
566 kB, 1600 × 1200
604 kB, 1600 × 1200
That feel when you come to work and find the place peppered with bullet holes.
Such is life in Ukraine. Suffering.
>>
No. 6903
>>6901
I feel that boredom, try online poker and chess, running and any other hobbies you may enjoy cooking, painting ect.
Music can be a good liberator as well.
>>
No. 6909
>>6902
Another day on the Ukraine. Stay safe out there, bud.
>>
No. 6910
34 kB, 936 × 463
>>6894
You found something you like to do, are good at, and people will pay money for. That is the sweet spot as far as careers go. Why would they think you can't do it? Just because it's hard? That just means that there will be fewer people who can do it well, and that being good will make you stand out more in the job market. I would worry more about a career in something where it can be difficult to distinguish yourself as an expert, which means you are always replaceable. If you're a good translator, someone will always hire you.
>>6814
>solving some broblems by myself
YouTube videos give me a lot more confidence than I deserve. I can't believe I had the courage to use a chainbreaker when I was fiddling with the derailleur. No matter what you want to do, someone has a video showing how easy it is, usually in a soothing ASMR voice. The situation reminds me of an old Simpson's episode where someone learns to perform heart surgery by watching VHS instructional tapes.
>>
No. 6913
>>6902
God, i would be scared. Which city that is? Atleast you don't have the kgb blocking whole place for several weeks. I hope this will end soon. Ukraine actually becomes better in many ways, even if it's hard to see from the inside.
>>
No. 6915
>>6913
Kharkov. The funniest part: this is the mayor's office building.
>>
No. 6916
>>6891
The question is also how well do the chinese excel in the foreign language.

I'm not sure how many chinese actually have a take on translation. I thought engineering and computer science are studied way more often than anything social/language.
>>
No. 6920
165 kB, 1118 × 622
I can feel it in the pit of my stomach and in the top of my heda. This is real anxious stress too. Not the usual discomfort but the whole internal dialogue being dominated by disembodied screaming kind of stress. I'm already on the not enough sleep trajectory too and show no signs of getting shuteye any time soon.

On the other hand, I also received the news that while I'm paying more rent than now when I move next month, I'm also getting much more personal space, about double what I have now which means that I have an excellent space for reclusive habitation. Room to basically have sleeping and living space all in one and only having to emerge for food when nobody is around. Seems like an okay tradeoff.
>>
No. 6924
471 kB, 758 × 693
Dear diary, everything that can go wrong does so. Why can't lyf be ez? I see all those people on the streets and they must have it ez since they look happy. I wonder what the fuck am I doing wrong.
>>
No. 6925
102 kB, 720 × 720
I feel like hanging out with my shitboi edgy acquaintances just because they are ridiculous. And their life problems so small, petty and laughable. Those cunts always make me feel better about living me lyf with how meaningless theirs are.
>>
No. 6927
>>6925
come to krievija
problems weren't
>>
No. 6928
609 kB, 500 × 281, 0:03
>>6927
Except problems are a lot. Where will I work? Where will I live? Where will I study?
>>
No. 6930
>>6928
Solving these problems will ease you from thoughts of suffer.
>>
No. 6931
>>6930
*Process of solving
>>
No. 6932
>>6930
Sell me on moving to Russia. As of now I can't be arsed to even imagine this. If it sounds promising I'll think about it. Keep in mind that I'm used to good living and nice things.
>>
No. 6933
508 kB, 648 × 604
>>6932
You will kys yourself after a month of life in Russia. In the long run this will certainly ease your mind from thinking about suffering.
>>
No. 6934
>>6933
I hear bias talking.
>>
No. 6936
36 kB, 1017 × 193
207 kB, 1080 × 1050
>>6933
Perhaps if your soul cant survive on Russia, most holy of nations, then it says more about your soul than it does about Russia.
>>
No. 6937
>>6915
>mayor's office
Well, you should have started from it. Now the story has many bright sides in it.
>>6932
You're from Latvia, just change your district and you're in better version of russia
>>6928
>Except problems are a lot. Where will I work? Where will I live? Where will I study?
Except for study this is unsolvable in russia
>>
No. 6938
253 kB, 1280 × 1046
>>6937
You're all so negative and pessimistic holy shit. I'm supposed to be negative and pessimistic. Stop stealing my thing! I also imagine living in St. Pidorburg to be a better deal than here. For once it's an actual city and not a big town like Riga.
>>
No. 6940
>>6932
>>6938
It's hard to advice anything when it's unknown what you want from migration to, let's say, SPb.
Also it's unknown what's your profession.
If you ask "where will I study", I don't know if it's worth moving, I haven't heard about free places for Latvians.
Although they say there are contests for free educarion in Russia, https://ru.sputniknewslv.com/Latvia/20180207/7297375/besplatnoe-obuchenije-russia.html
>>
No. 6941
>>6940
I could study either technical machining shite or telecommunications. Current job does not matter because I'm fed up with it. I could do pretty much anything as long as it's not a dumb muscle man job. My ideal lyf is taking it easy and chilling with me coffee. Do I pass the getting into Russia interview?
>>
No. 6945
>>6938
>I also imagine living in St. Pidorburg to be a better deal than here.
Piter is just a bigger version of riga with few catches. As the song says its the best place for alcoholism in russia and probably in the whole world.
Moscow is now on asia tier, only if you want to taste real cyberpunk.
Kazan is a hidden gem of Russia. It's big enough to be a city and still quite nice. And Tatars are surprisingly nice people.
>>
No. 6946
>>6945
Poidorashburg is shit but musems are very very nice.
t.non-pidorashburger
>>
No. 6947
Got 10 cubic meters of first class firewood for next winter and harvested about 10 kg delicious white figs
>>
No. 6956
>>6947
Inderasting. How common are people who grow figs onto the Croatia?
>>
No. 6957
153 kB, 778 × 960
>Stop stealing my thing!
I'm pretty sure it's a Slavic thing in general
>>
No. 6959
253 kB, 468 × 468
>>6957
You'd be surprised how positive and upbeat Slavs can be despite their grim lives and surroundings. I find it annoying because they bug me about doing my thing and saying that I should be like them.
>>
No. 6961
75 kB, 737 × 758
First day of lifting in many, many months.

My program seems to be really leg heavy. I mean, squats and diddleys on the same day? Then squats and rows on the other? I'm already t-rex mode from being fat all my life, guess I'm gonna have even bigger legs.
My legs are destroyed, while my back feels under exercised.

I mean, that's what rows are for, but they load my legs and biceps far more than my back. They're like mini deadlifts. Maybe I should use a machine for back isolation.

Also, my squat form seems to be shit. I don't know why most of the weight goes to my toes instead of the heel, but I can't seem to balance it so it does. Maybe my leg positioning is off.
>>
No. 6962
>>6937
I fail to see any bright sides in here, though. Well, outside of the fact that the shooter was killed by the police and now there is one violent psycho less in this world (and that I am somehow lucky enough to work at the mayor's office).
>>
No. 6965
>>6961
Can't help you with that one. When I was at peak fitness myself I was all endurance and bodyweight exercise, running routes with lots of steep hills, large sets of pushups & situps and so on. I know practically nothing about gym equipment and exercise, though maybe I should get back into my fitness, could be kind of entertaining even though I don't live around any good hills anymore.
>>
No. 6966
>>6956

White figs (huge, yellow-greenish color in fact and very sweet) are common in southern parts, and in eastern, continental, mostly rural parts so called mountain figs (brdske smokve), who are rather small, violet and less sweet but also need less sun and warmth.

Now we are living on a southern mountain slope in continental Croatia and the sweet yellow figs can surive and thrive on that slope, so we have these Dalmatian figs every summer.

In general I'd say it's very common at the coast regions (Dalmatia and Istria) and a bit less common in eastern Croatia.

Also my today sufferings and probably tommorrow, too consists of piling the 10 m3 firewood into the storage shed at 32°.
>>
No. 6971
>>6857
>trying to end the Great War by Christmas of 1914

I can see you winning in the West by November but Russia can take at least a year even with an amphibious landing at Leningrad. What's your strategy?

>>6962
The building now has fancy air-holes to let in a cool breeze during hot summer days. For same reason be glad it's not winter.
>>
No. 6972
>>6961
>my squat form seems to be shit
I couldn't get my form right either, and so I decided to start squatting with the Bulgarian Split Squat instead of the full Back Squat. It's not a perfect replacement, but for now it's helping me get used to the squatting motion-and it's especially good for training me to keep my weight on my heels.

https://www.muscleforlife.com/bulgarian-split-squat/
>>
No. 6973
132 kB, 1023 × 727
>>6971
>amphibious landing at Leningrad.
This and also I am going to execute a multiple step plan that is hopefully going to seal the fate of the Russian army.
1.Weaker forces are going to be positioned along the black line to bait the AI into attacking me.
2.At the same time, I will concentrate a lot of forces near Kaliningrad Konigsberg and try to encircle the troops that Russia has in Poland.(red arrow)
3. >an amphibious landing at Leningrad
4. Brown forces will encircle the Baltic provinces and, after meeting up with the defending army at Petrograd, launch an offensive in the direction of Moscow. The Yellow force's job will be mostly cutting off Finland and Murmansk from the Russian heartland.
5. Meanwhile, the combined red & black armies are occupying Belarus and providing minor assistance to Austria-Hungary, if necessary.
6. Lastly, once the black and red amy reaches Smolensk and Orel and the Brown forces set up a front at the Opochka- Novgorod - Tikhvin line, a combined push towards Moscow begins.

Sadly, unless Lenin is sent to Rush-ka there is no way to make peace so I will consider taking these two cities by the end of 1914 a victory.
>>
No. 6976
>>6973
The Baltic pocket is too big to sustain an advance alongside. I'd break through to Riga ASAP and try and make it more of an Estonian pocket. It'll take fewer troops to keep closed so you'll have actual formations able to advance further rather than a hodge-podge pile of divisions pulled from all over the place. Also, phase lines are life, don't plan an operation without them. Theatre strategy is about having large formations working together and phase lines are a way of making sure that forces are in support of each other at all times. If one army does well and streams ahead but then another army gets bogged down then both armies are in danger, the former of being cut off and the latter of unsustainable attrition. With phase lines being respected, they'd remain in supporting distance of each other and ensure that both formations are operating at maximum strength with their flanks secured. It mightn't be as big a deal in HoI though. I don't remember how difficult logistics are exactly but I don't recall them being particularly damaging to an op.
>>
No. 6977
suffering due to lira value go down. I had plans for holidays now all of them cancelled. I know it's first world tier problem, but because of some unrelated person that I didnt vote, my life getting worse. People always say you should take responsiblities of your actions, in all of my life I had to take responsiblities of other people as well.

I'd go in further rant but most likely I'd accused for being edgy.
>>
No. 6986
>>6977
But these will bitch about somebody crashing their car anytime, so don't bother this commonplace wisdom. It's just a phrase with a pinch of truth, just a pinch since you are obviously often enough not responsible for what is happening to you, as if the world is not inhabited by billions of people who take action everyday