/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

Currently at Radio Ernstiwan:

Hail Odin! by Christenklatscher666


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No. 67933
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Since Ernsts in general seem to have problems to condense complex thoughts into a more digestible, i.e. concise and precise form, let us try in this thread to hone the skill of laconic rhetorics.
In order to practice, we will try to produce short texts by abiding one of the following rules:

>Two sentences with a strict storytelling element, can be dialogue.
>One sentence with a strict storytelling element, i.e. no aphorisms. Also, no long clause/accesory sentence constructions.
>Haiku with the classic 5-7-5 pattern
>F-Scheme, follow a 8-5-3 pattern, thus warranting a progressively stronger condensation

The topic is free, it can be serious, but it can also be funny. Please refrain from Dadaism though, as it would be directly antithetical to the task.
Since I made up these rules, I will also start with some shitty examples; I am not really creative at the moment:

"Why can you not be more like your brother?", my mom used to say. I never liked visiting his grave.

I watched a nude lady posing for a photographer, which I enjoyed, right until I drove my bike into a ditch (true story btw)

Hearing my cellphone
It plays the ringtone I set
Ah shit! Wrong button!

Drinking a can of piss lager
The taste is like piss
I must piss

Let's give this a try!
No. 68037
Watching stars from my balcony
But clouds will hide them
Please come back!
No. 68038
This is a very German thread, but i will try my best to follow the rules. Now let me think hm.

Fat man attempts to run.
He trips over and falls on the earth.
The earth crashes into moon.
No. 69311
In order to reinvigorate this thread, an F-scheme pulled from the current Today thread:

My gf does not respect me
Which is rather bad
Yes, indeed