/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

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No. 6987 Systemkontra
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A new day, a new dawn.

make your blogpostings
No. 6988
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My computer keeps crashing, I probably need more ram, the max I can do is 1 tab at 720p. Multiple tabs or 1080p on youtube crashes the thing.
No. 6991
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I just had a pretty rad day at lake Balaton. This family holidays isn't all bad.
No. 6996
I met a guy from elementary school today at work, he is postman tho I haven't seen him in the last years I was working there, so he must be new at least in my area, I did not ask for how long he was doing it but he does it full time unlike me. Apparently he had served in the military for 4 years. I kept him in mind as a more fragile person, maybe even subordinate which would fit the military well at least.

The funny thing is I had to think about him a few days ago as I was asking myself what happened to all the people I met in life. The ripping flood of time we cannot avoid or hide from was my thought of origin to this.
No. 7001
Oh dog my legs :-DDDD
I can barely walk :-DDDDDDD

I wonder if I overtrained or if this is just consequence of lifting for the first time in half a year.
No. 7002
You fucking people. I'm sitting here in Alsace, SSH tunneled back home to avoid aids from unencrypted hotel internet, and I've just spent 30 minutes reading the backlog from the last today threda. You and all your drama blogs, especially you, Franz Kazkha! Being here, about to go on a hike in the Vosges, I think what you need is to get out into nature every now and then, walk the steppe for a few hours to gain a different perspective.

And now I need to leave for the marché couvert or I won't get breakfast before I have to catch my bus. Dog, I love these market halls here in france.

Also, I haven't finnished the last today threda yet, so if all of that was obsolete and you're all fine, ignore the above.
No. 7003
On the other hand, I feel fucking incredible today.
Is this what exercise does to the psyche?

Although, a bit restless and hyperactive, it's better than being sluggish.

I will probably replace my leg routine with cardio, and dedicate all lifting to upper body. My upper body is pathetically weak compared to my legs, and I can't really do cardio when I'm having terrible DOMS from squats.
No. 7004
Thanks bro.
I pretty much gave away this month's paycheck to mom so she can pay bills and mortgage, so I don't have any disposable income, but next month I should be able to spend some alone time in nature.

I've always dreamed of having enough money and free time to just walk into the steppe and live there a year as a hermit drinking pisswater and eating plants. I think it could be a very spiritually rich experience that gives me a new perspective on life.

Walk away into the steppe, be consumed by it. Like the great prophets in the desert.
No. 7007
God damn section managers at work screwing with me, the shift management is fine because they share the same mindset as most of the staff but once they get to where they're in charge of front or back of house and above they just start acting like morons. They have my shifts so spread out that I'm out of practice by the time I come back to work, and then give me shifts that I haven't worked in six months or more and complain when I don't remember every aspect like clockwork. It's going to be ebin when it starts falling apart. I'm not the only one who isn't getting enough hours to make a living wage anymore and staff morale is rock bottom. Nobody writes up anything that needs fixing anymore because they know it won't happen, nobody busts their arse to go the extra mile because why bother when you're not even worth a living wage to your employer. Lots of the staff and some shift managers have just stopped giving two fucks about anything that's not going to cause them immediate problems because the entire workplace has stopped giving any reason to help them if it's not going to benefit you. There are some of us who have been there for years who get shafted by section managers giving hours to their friends who they hire on, section managers putting shit on shift managers for things that aren't their jurisdiction and so on. It'll happen soon I think that someone is going to walk out and it'll domino effect to the rest of the experienced crew because they start not knowing anybody anymore.
No. 7008
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Dear diary, the ez lyf finally arrived to me. I can finally just sit on my ass and do phone posting while sipping coffee, then go home and play video games.
No. 7009
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No. 7010
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No. 7011
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No. 7012
What's done set you off this time? Just the exercise aches?
No. 7013
And this, Ernst, is why you should never drink too much Kumis
No. 7014
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I have a job interview in around 2 hours.
It will be horrible and i won't get the job.
No. 7015
Didn't you say you stop drinking after your mom got mad at you for stealing?
No. 7016
What's the job you are trying to apply to?
No. 7017
Going to check incoming invoices because i can't find anything better.
Actually i applied for a different job at the same company where i can play detective and search for weird things happening with cash registers but they said "no, you're too shit for that" and a week later they said "hey, we have this shitty job here left why don't you come over?"
No. 7018
Do I need a reason?
Well, I work out with BURNING FERVOUR when I am drunk, so I guess it's that.

And don't be alarmed, this is how I used to act when I was 16-19 and permanently maniacal. I used to be a celebrity in every single video game community I frequented, just because of how I acted.

I lived in a basement back then too, so I could yell to my heart's content. Good times.

These days I feel so boring, like I'm losing myself. I want to yell some more.
No. 7021

So far I have experienced 4 stages of mood while drinking alcohol:

1. Happiness
This stage can't really be described as "happiness" but I know of no better term to use. The chief characteristic of this stage is that it removes the "droning" quality of existence. To be more specific: it removes the feeling of disappointment that is felt when I wake up or have some strong emotional reaction and unconsciously expect reality to have ceased existing. When nothing happens and reality continues to exist I feel uncomfortable. This droning quality can also be described as a feeling that each day will be the exact same as the present, even if I know for certain that things will change (and even if I partially direct those changes). In spite of this, I do not want my life to be the same as it is right now. It is just that my current life is so sufficiently different (seems that way at least) from the life that I'd like to have as to make them seem impossible to coexist; as if they could only exist as two separate realities where I am a completely different person and my life circumstances are completely different in the other reality.
The "happiness" I feel is an accepting of my current circumstances; the feeling that the way the world is just how it is and I can be content with that.
A somewhat acceptable analogue of the removal of the "droning" quality of existence is Schopenhauer's "negative" happiness.

2. Anger
What mostly preoccupies this stage is the anger that I feel towards myself for drinking, and for wasting my time as I won't be able able to do anything productive (it is difficult to accurately gauge the necessary amount of alcohol needed to reach Ballmer's Peek).

3. Mania
I imagine this is that mood that you where in when you made those posts. I experience similar things; pseudo-spiritual revelations, intense feelings of empowerment, disassociation with reality, etc. I gain a lot of stamina and enjoy music like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll-zNzEEelI, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuzfMR-7v1I in this stage. It is also the stage where I lose control of myself and smash bottles on the wall, forget to do errands, etc. Try to remember/have in the back of your head during this stage that this emotional state will not last and that you'll be yanked back into reality in order to not do something that you'll seriously regret. Probably you don't need me to tell you this as you have doubtless already reached this emotional state countless times before.

4. Sadness
I do not know if you commonly reach this stage and stay there for an extended period of time, as so far it seems you peak at stage 3 and then go back to relative normality over a period of time. At this stage I am stricken with intense sadness and and start laying on my side. When I am on my side I start shivering, breathing slowly, and have trouble seeing. I am pretty sure at this stage it is possible to get alcohol poisoning. This is also the stage where I tend to vomit the most. The worst feeling is when you keep trying to vomit but only small bits of spit come out, so over a period of a couple hours you have vomiting sessions until some of the effects of the alcohol wear off and you eventually stop. On the plus side, the day after I start drinking I feel I have gone through a purge of my spirit and inner psyche in a similar way as the indigenous people of the amazon with Ayahuasca (although the process leading up to the "purge" is very different, as well as the purge itself). For the rest of the day I have a feeling of incredible detachment. Food and water taste different. To give an example: the bottled water that I normally drink starts tasting like plastic and I feel nauseous if attempt to drink it. These effects wear off after I sleep.
The attitude that does remain after a couple weeks is a strong opposition to consuming any sort of alcoholic drink.
So funnily enough one thing you can attempt is to nearly get alcohol poisoning in order for you to stop drinking alcohol for some time and hopefully stop drinking altogether (although I don't recommend this as I don't know if you will get this effect and I don't want you to literally poison yourself)!

One thing that was discussed before was microdosing LSD or psilocybin instead of drinking alcohol. If you do not have access to these substances (or do not want to take a chance) one thing that you can do is to order research chemicals with similar effects but different drug laws surrounding them. I do not know the specific drug laws in Kazakhstan, but for most countries in the world research chemicals are either legal or in a grey area.
Example for me: https://bclsupply.com/, https://chemlogix.ca/en/4-aco/2-4-aco-dmt.html.
You could probably order something from Russia or the EU if nothing is available in Kazakhstan.
No. 7022
I broke my favorite balanced armature earphones a couple months ago and wanted to buy sames for paycheck, BUT THEY"RE OUT OF PRODUCTION AND OUT OF STOCK

No. 7023
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Family man get his wife into guns

So this is what happiness looks like
No. 7030
Finished piling up the firewood in the shed for next winter. Fucking heat is unbearable today.
No. 7032
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Compounding stress is starting to kill me I swear. Migraines and elevated heart rate were. I've already noticed my temper fraying a bit too, so if the heart attack don't kill me then the high blood pressure will. I'm going to take a leave of absence and cool my head off a bit before I do something dumb. Try not to die in the meanwhile fellas. Would be kind of a pain to come back to a silent board.
No. 7033
Going to the public swimming pool now, hoping that it's not too full to swim. If it is I will only go the water a bit to cool off and read at the outside. I've read some reviews of the pool and one woman commented that likely some "youths" were completely out of control so the women had to swim in shirts and/or pants. Another guy wrote that arabs were hitting on the girls and africans were smoking a joint next to his family. :DD
Sounds exaggerated because I often go to the pools and it's never as bad as that but who knows what happens in the summer when everyone literally is in heat!

I will report on the state of the german nation later.
No. 7034
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I spoke too soon. Everything literally crashed and burned and now I'm fucked. Now I'm either fired or I gotta pay for rekd tools and/or black marked for the most dead end and horrible position in the company for life. So I'm either fired or I walk away myself. Or I just pay for the tools and somehow make it, which is extremely unlikely because god apparently is a dick to me. I think this the day my life finally derailed completely. What would you do in this situation? My move was to go home and get under blankets then listen to moody music.
No. 7035
Update: just entered the changing rooms and the police is already there. :DD ebin, seems like I already missed the best.
No. 7037
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Damn, I'm feeling kinda embarrassed.

I really wanted to fix my relationship with dad, but he started a scandal again, and my "beat up dad" reflex just spontaneously activated and I split his lip.

You see, I get sort of a PTSD thing when I hear his angry drunken voice, it brings me right back into my childhood. I can't bear it, it makes me very anxious. So I got up and punched him in the face without thinking too much.

Anger is a preferable alternative to anxiety. I hate anxiety. And I hate loud noises and scandals.

It's kinda awkward because that other time when I was near-unconsciously drunk, I told him we should hang out and fix our relationship, but now I beat him up again. He seemed pretty hurt about it tbh.

Why can't he just NOT start yelling at the slightest provocation? Why can't he just, like be normal? I think he's legit mentally retarded. What am I even supposed to do with him? It's not like showing him respect will fix his malignant brain, he'll still be a piece of shit like he's always been. Not sure what I was thinking back then.

In fact, when you show him kindness, he starts acting like an even more of an asshole. Like when my uncle from mother's side gave him a job out of pity, and he'd eat at cafes, drink and gammble while our house didn't have electricity, and brag about how important his is to my uncle's business and how indispensable he is. When in fact he was doing more harm than good (just as the rest of his life).

I can't deal with the idea of a person who is an unfixable piece of shit no matter how you treat him, regardless of whether he's rich or poor, drunk or sober. He's just a piece of shit down to the core, and the tragedy of it all is that he doesn't understand that he's retarded, so he feels like a victim and the whole world is against him.
No. 7039 Kontra
>Why can't he just, like be normal? I think he's legit mentally retarded.
No. 7042
> Or I just pay for the tools and somehow make it
What the fuck you did?
No. 7043
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You should put some distance between you and him. Someones gonna get hurt bad, soon if you don't.
No. 7044
I want to move out but I don't want to leave mum alone with him. The flat is still on mortgage.

It's kind of a shitty situation.
No. 7045
I have noticed that alcohol simply amplifies my previously existing mental state rather than altering it.

If I'm feeling optimistic, when drunk I become social and chat with people.
If I'm slightly hyper, I get hypomanic when drunk.
If I'm sad, I get manic depression and start writing poetry and singing out loud.

I haven't really been angry for a long time, though. I used to have really bad anger issues, becoming so enraged I couldn't control my actions, smashing stuff, etc. But now I don't feel angry at all, I dunno why. I just become sad instead.

Even when I was beating up and choking my dad I wasn't angry. I was simply in the "zone", letting my reptile brain control the body while I simply observed.
No. 7048
>It's kind of a shitty situation.

Yes, it is. I really hope things work out for you. :3
No. 7049
Sometimes I think that I want to work for long enough so I can buy mom her own place, then spend my last paycheck on heroin and coke, get fucked on speedball and die.

I really don't see my life going anywhere for the next 10 years. I can't bring a girl home with a family like this, and I will be paying off my family's debts for a long time before I can start building my own life.

I'd rather pay my dues, arrange a life for my mum, and then kys. She has two other sons who can support her and continue the lineage.

When I see all of these normal people with normal childhoods and normal families I get incredibly envious. Something that was predetermined for me to not have since before I was born.

I'm going to listen to acid bath and feel sad now. I wanted to get drunk again, but I felt guilty about mum, so I didn't. Now the stores are all closed and I'm fiending with no escapism. I wish I could fall asleep.
No. 7050
>a week later they said "hey, we have this shitty job here left why don't you come over?"


>What would you do in this situation? My move was to go home and get under blankets then listen to moody music.

Find the boss and bluntly tell him that I fucked up. Shit happens to everyone and how you deal with that is what separates the skilled from the bone-idle.

I imagine it's a bit late for that but maybe you could send an email now or see him first thing tomorrow pretty understandably. In the meantime is there anything you can do to alleviate the damage rather than hiding under the bedsheets like a little girl?
No. 7064
I feel terrible and guilty.
This time, I feel it was totally uncalled for. I mean yeah, he was yelling and threatening to burn down the house and harassing mum, but he wasn't violent (yet).

And his lip looked horrible. Some weird white tissue burst out of the wound and it was bleeding horribly. I bet it will look really bad in the morning.

Why am I such a schizo retard? Why can't we all just be normal?
No. 7069
Go to YouTube and type cnc fail compilation into search

I called him then tried to fix things untill my shift was over. I did exactly what you said.
No. 7071
Such is life on the Germany Bavaria
No. 7073
Ok, I apologized to my dad and promised to never hit him again. If he gets drunk and aggressive, from now on I will just escort him to his room so he can go back to sleep.

And since I now earn money, I told him that if he has any problems with mom, instead of starting a scene, he should just come to me instead and I'll try to solve the problem.
His last chimpout was due to the fact that he was hungry and we had no food at home. Next time he feels that way, I'll just buy him something to eat.

I hope mom and dad stop interacting alltogether since they hate each other so much, and just use me as the mediator.
No. 7078
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Damn. I feel focused and see things more clearly than I have in a long time. I spent a good 5 hours this afternoon staring out between my blinds at the street and watching the sun going down. I was extremely clear headed and could muster only disgust at them scurrying around like ants. It wasn't an aggressive kind of disgust though, it was very cool and eye-opening like I could see their true forms for a change instead of the smiling bullshit that they put on. I think I have found the optimal frame of mind for surviving in a world where everything outside my room is the enemy. A mental state that is fully squared away but always aware of how this entire society is designed to set people like me up and take us down. Why do you think that the state pays for people to go to shrinks? To get help? No. They pay for it so that the person goes there and within the bounds of their own game signs away their personhood. And every single one of the damn insects that make up the system are complicit in it.

Feels bad that this is the world I exist in but feels good that I'm clear-headed again.
No. 7079
>Like when my uncle from mother's side gave him a job out of pity, and he'd eat at cafes, drink and gammble while our house didn't have electricity, and brag about how important his is to my uncle's business and how indispensable he is. When in fact he was doing more harm than good (just as the rest of his life).

Are you able to see a similarity to your own behaviour?
No. 7080
Hey brother actually made some money, so my presence is a net positive.

The only difference between a degenerate who is despicable and a degenerate you can put up with is the degree of competence. I bring a net positive to brother's business and give mum my money.

He was a net negative on uncle's business and didn't bring any money home.

t. competent degenerate
No. 7081
God, I'm an absolute degenerate and have no shame at all.

I'm starting to suspect I'm a sociopath or some shit. Or i've become so jaded with everything that I'm not even capable of caring any more.

I've been isolated from society for so long that I have no standards for acceptable non-degenerate behavior.
No. 7082
Regarding >>7004

If you have a bike, take a look at [1] and find the best way from your place to the hills south-east. Do it in the morning when you have no work ahead (sunday?), take only water with you, drive out there until you are no longer surrounded by houses. Then turn away from the street/path and just find a place that blocks the view to the city and where not many people should pass by. Sit down, look at the surrounding nature, stay there for at least a few hours and soak in the sounds and view of the place. If you are lucky you might get the feeling of being the last person alive.
Do this regularly. For example whenever you think you should drink a beer, go out there instead. If you've found a good place, go there each time and learn to concentrate on just the things that are there. Grass, maybe trees, insects, the hard ground, the sky. This stuff exists; you are impermanent, all your problems and worries are impermanent.

I really hope you'll give it a try. These things helped me.

[1] https://www.openstreetmap.org/search?query=almaty#map=13/43.2238/76.9659&layers=C
No. 7086
237 kB, 640 × 604
I feel the need for an ice cold beer, right now.
No. 7087
Maybe you need white beer?
No. 7090
Yes, maybe I will get myself one. But then again I already had enough calories for today so maybe I won't. What I really need are some opioids to numb my mind and feel the cozy warmth in my heart (also to not think about the shit I need to do but procrastinate).
No. 7091
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The teacher who was assigned to my class said she's leaving the school. Judging by facebook posts the administration has completely collapsed, so I've decided to transfer schools.
A HS is ought to take me after two early, +90% maturas and good grades.

I feel completely demoralized. It's like I've been betrayed. Is this natural? Feeling sad about school and such. I wanted to go study, and I've been hindered.
Honestly, I don't want to work next week on either my essay, or my translation. Depends how my mood is.
Decided to check the first parts during the second day of my holiday, and I think an almost complete rewrite is in order, if not a re-translation all together Honestly, the holiday feels tiresome so far.
No. 7093
Are you still translating a passage of the Nibelungenlied?
No. 7097
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No, I still have 4 chapters from The Master of Go. Then the re-workings.
Nibelungenlied would be my next project.
Looked into the copyright thing, and I have my hopes up, since the guy who did the English version bit the dust 10 years ago.

Have I told you how much I like the Nibelungenlied btw? It's such a moving story. I could get more out if it if I were German I think, but I just find this medieval epic so touching.
I've read parts of the German original, the Simrock version, the Hungarian translation from 1867, and I've also read the Völsunga saga.
Tears flood into my eyes, just thinking about it.
Haven't read the Wagnerian take on it, but I managed to haggle for a Hungarian copy, and my music and chorus teacher said I should definitely read it, because it's a good read. Too bad I wasn't picked to hold the little "seminarium" or "presentation" about Wagner, his works and his life.
I got Tchaikowsky. I've listened to nearly 30 hours of his music to get to the bottom of it.
The Nibelungenlied makes me wish I were German.
No. 7098

Oooh I didn't know about the Völsunga Saga in particular, but readin about it makes me want to read it. At first I thought you meant Voluspä, but even though it's a different piece it seems indeed to be connected.

All your talk about the Nibelungenlied makes me want to read that as well. My former flat mate had a print from around 1900, but he took it with him and I don't have any copy at all. Maybe I can borrow it when we meet again.

To make you more envious I can tell you that I've visited many places in the Rheinland that are connected to the story of Siegfried, like the Drachenfels in the Siebengebirge or the Loreley. Beautiful places, and if you ever visit this area you should pack hiking gear and search for a path called the "Rheinsteig" - it runs along most of the river rhine, split into stages for daily tours. I recommend the section between Bonn and just south of Koblenz the most.
No. 7099
I am listening to awesome tracker music.
I want to get heavily drunk and get absorded by this cosmic music.
No. 7100
737 kB, 2560 × 1600
I just felt something I didn't feel while reading the Homeric epics. Some genuine connection with the characters and the events. Their heroic deeds, misdeeds, betrayals, and grandiose, yet petty revenges.
On one hand, it's serious, yet it's not really graphic in its contents, save for Siegfried's death and betrayal (I cri every tiem).
I mean if I had a 8-10 year old son, I'd read it to him. It's an exciting story and the language is pretty.

One of my bigger woes is that I'll probably never visit the Bayreuth Festspiele, plainly because it's far away, I lack the funds, and there is a 5-10 year waiting period for a ticket.

As for the Völsunga saga, that's just the Nibelungenlied - Director's cut. Longer story, less Christianity, more supernatural elements, more divine intervention. It's the Icelandic version. The names are changed, and it's in prose, with the occasional small verse in an untranslatable Icelandic form.
If you liked the original, then you are ought to read this to get the full picture. By all means, do read it, it's undeservedly obscure in some parts of the world. I'd shout "Germanophobia", but I don't think it's because of that

I've picked up our would be national epic from the 1800s (Would be, because it would be a trilogy, but the guy who wrote it died before he could finish it), and I realized with excitement, that it was a retelling of the Nibelungenlied, but from the side of Attila's and Bleda's Huns. Haven't read it yet, but I must read it now. See how dear this work is to us, yet here, not even the textbooks mention it, and it hasn't received a widespread printing since the 1900s (The 00s of the 1900s). It makes me feel genuinely sad. That's why I want to re-translate or re-work it into Hungarian. Maybe I can breathe new life into it. [Delusion of Grandeur intensifies]

All this talking makes me feel better, maybe stuff will be all right.
No. 7105
117 kB, 600 × 600
My nice and comfy computer chair broke after ~6 month i'm fat and it's in use 24/7 so i told the seller to send me some replacement parts and now they arrived.
Just such a hassle to replace them.

How's customer support in other countries? I'm happy to get free parts from most stores. I'm sure i could've got a completely new chair if i said it's completely fucked.
No. 7106
Just found this board
I'Ve been lurking twitter mostly for the last year since KC was blocked at wörk and I wanted to be more productive anyways but now I quit my job so...
I know KC is ded for a while, can someone fill me in a bit what happened after it went down? I remember checking some other sites as well (krautchan.co, kohlchan, ...?) but they didn't seem particularly active
Is this the board where most /int/ BerndsErnsts(?) migrated to?
No. 7107
KC was deactivated by DerGeneral, and most Bernds flooded Ernstchan, since this was the "other German imageboard", while also creating a bunch of other boards like Krautchan.co, 8ch.net/KC and kohlchan in the process.
The original mod team of Ernstchan had a different view of what an imageboard should be, and banned Bernds left and right. This culminated in a raid by Kohlchanners spamming the word "nigger" and doxing some mods and shaming them for being communist anitfa members.
So they closed down Ernstchan.net .
Ernstchan was revived on this by entirely new mods shortly after most Bernds and cancerposters moved to kohlchan, which became the new shitposting board, and EC became the wall of text depressionblog and assburger central you see here.
The /fefe/ board was turned into the independent "dietchan", to which bot EC and nu-KC links to. Einskanal.net is the /jp/ offspring of nu-KC. The Drunk Anime Thread lives on magyarchan.net's /i/ board.
No. 7108
>Is this the board where most /int/ BerndsErnsts(?) migrated to

No, after KC died a death Bernds split into many fractions, many new imageboards were born but only few of them survived.
In the end the /pol/ tier Bernds settled for Kohlchan and the rest invaded Ernstchan but because Bernd has to destroy everything he also killed Ernstchan.
Ernstchan.xyc was made after the original died and it's around as slow as it was before Bernd invasion.
No. 7114
116 kB, 1200 × 675
Thanks for the detailed explanation, seems like it's all rather fragmented now
I guess I'll just try lurking here as well as kohlchan for a while, I'm all for serious discussions but I don't mind some shitposting either. I think KC had a decent mix of both at some point, though it was getting out of hand a bit. Though actually I don't even remember it that well
No. 7116
What's the name of this would be national epic? And has it ever been translated to German or English? I'd be quite interested in this story from the perspective of the huns. I still have to read the original Nibelungenlied first, but it's on my list now (and I actually do manage to read through my list).
No. 7117
>In fact, when you show him kindness, he starts acting like an even more of an asshole. Like when my uncle from mother's side gave him a job out of pity, and he'd eat at cafes, drink and gammble while our house didn't have electricity, and brag about how important his is to my uncle's business and how indispensable he is. When in fact he was doing more harm than good (just as the rest of his life).

Oh doge the irony.
No. 7118
Amy more info.
What materials.
What was the problem, bad program, depth, cycles, feeds ect, wrong tool, not properly clamped ????
No. 7122
>Though actually I don't even remember it that well
I don't remember it well as well, but for some reason, I feel like KC had a lot less cancer than new substitution.
No. 7124
47 kB, 717 × 960
The title is Buda Halála, or The Death of Bleda.(Der Tod Blödels, perhaps?)
It hasn't been translated into anything as far as I know, and I'm surprised to find that it hasn't even got a Hungarian wikipedia page.
The work itself is a bit irrelevant, since as I mentioned, the trilogy was never finished, and this is the lonesome first part, but it has all the Characters from the second part of the German epic.
Some of the names are changed though, "Hungaricized".
Blödel becomes Buda
Dietrich becomes Detre
and so on.
Some of these changes persist in the translation of the epic itself. The Hungarian translation has an inconsistent spelling of names, mainly to fit the verse. I didn't really have a problem with it, I'd say it added to that archaic style the text itself had.
I've also noticed that the character's nicknames are evoked a lot more often for the same reason. Volker is called "Geigenschlag" in the German version I think, but I had to search the text for this, while in the Hungarian version he is called "Hegedős" or "One with the fiddle/Violin" throughout the text.

Honestly, I have no fucking idea what our national epic is. This is the would-be epic we were supposed to have.
The other that comes to mind is Szigeti veszedelem (The Peril of Sziget in English and Der Fall von Sziget in German translation) Surprised to see it has a German translation, but there seems to be only one printing of it from 1944
This one is about a castle the Turks laid siege on, and instead of surrendering, the defenders charge through the gates in a blaze of glory, killing the Sultan if I remember correctly.
But this isn't a "Folk-epic" like the Nibelung-ethos, but an artificial one from the 17th century. Heavily Christian in tone.
The language is very dated, and borrows words from Latin and Turkish often in the text. I'd say most native speakers would have trouble reading it without some footnotes, explaining the extinct words and expressions.
I don't know about the German and English versions though. I'd say the style is untranslatable, and I haven't found much enjoyment in it besides the funky ye-olde magyar style. Honestly, this epic is the reason I translated 10 or so episodes from an anime, because I wanted to refit the subtitles into this archaic, almost aristocratic manner.
Honestly, I feel a much stronger bond with the German national epic, than with that. No idea why. Maybe I'm just a closet germanophile.
No. 7134
32 kB, 600 × 683
Yesterday I went to the local mall to buy myself some clothes for fall and winter. I gotta say, that was a very unpleasant experience. Hundreds of people were talking at the same time, which, combined with all sorts of screens flashing and changing colours caused a sensory overload within 30 minutes of me being there. Oh, and the most "fun" part was trying on clothes. Every time I looked at the mirror to see if the clothes fit, I saw Spede's certified stare there. Not joking, I looked like pic related minus the beard and the suit.
No. 7137
72 kB, 500 × 375
I decided to cut my hair today. It's kind of uneven and you can see where its different lengths at various spots, but it's out of my face and I look less homeless so problems weren't.
No. 7138
1,6 MB, 3929 × 2986
1,3 MB, 3629 × 2909
1,7 MB, 4637 × 2773
1,7 MB, 4381 × 2986
My order just came in the mail today. My collection is coming along nicely thus far. The most recent acquisitions are in "Collection_2018_002.jpg". Those were shipped without jewel cases for the seller to save on shipping and packaging.

I'm getting quite a bit of an education on tracking bootlegs which seem to be all too common in this niche. The difficulty for bands with these political views to keep their material in circulation provides ample opportunity for bootleggers to issue fraudulent reissues. The Ultime Assaut CD sadly is one of them. The telltale signs should've been obvious, but I decided to take the risk and sadly got burnt. The insert had all the hallmarks of a bootleg: poorly translated liner notes taken from second hand sources, artifact-ridden images sourced from various websites, lack of photos from the band, et cetera. The biggest revelation the CD was a bootleg was FLACing it. Running the FLACs through SPEK revealed almost identical levels to the 192kbps mp3s floating around on various sites and filesharing communities. In any case, I'm not blaming the seller since I specifically asked for this version because I was too curious to see if it was a bonafide reissue.

Another bootleg woe was the copy of "Land and Heritage" by Arresting Officers I received from an eBay seller. Truth be told, I wholly believe the guy acted in good faith on account of some rumors regarding Rock-O-Rama Records. After Herbert Egoldt died, Rock-O-Rama was in limbo as he alone owned all the rights to music issued on that label. Apparently, the rights went to an unidentified individual who purchased the label and started issuing CD-Rs of the previous catalog. According to user Ödelagt on Nuclear War Now! forums, all that this label using the name Rock-O-Rama Records sells are deadstock CDs and crummy CD-R reissues. This would explain the "Land and Heritage" CD-R I received as well as other listings I've spotted on Discogs. On the plus side, the "Patriotic Voice" CD from Arresting Officers appears to be bonafide with a few caveats. The CD was pressed during their years when they were tagging reissues with ALCD rather than the proper RCD or RRR code during the mid '90s.

From the handful of people who share my passion for all things RAC, I advise you against buying directly from Rock-O-Rama Records. Not only have they been hacked by Anonymous, all their reissues have all the hallmarks of cheap knockoffs: pressed on CD-Rs, inserts with artifact-ridden images, et cetera.

Anyway, enough niggling. There are plenty of CDs I'm quite happy with and look forward to growing my collection.
No. 7139
1,7 MB, 3745 × 2986
No. 7141
I find it strange that there's enough of a market for them to bootleg. You'd think that people would stick to making false copies of things that'll sell quickly and easily. Or is it more like the collectible market where the real ones disappear quickly and never reenter the market?
No. 7142
>Or is it more like the collectible market where the real ones disappear quickly and never reenter the market?

That's much more common. People often change or simply wish to leave their days as musicians behind them. As such, bonafide original issues command a high market value. Hell, this is not just limited to RAC. I've seen bonafide copies of G.I.S.M. LPs fetch for four figures.

In other cases, the band loses the original DAT or master tapes and thus the album is lost forever. That was the case with the band Italian Doom/Prog band Black Hole. Every CD copy of "Land of Mystery" you see online is sourced from a cleaned up vinyl LP sanctioned by the band.
No. 7143

These two posts in succession made me laugh hard and loud. Thank for this small enjoyment in the morning, I hadn't laughed out loud in a while.
No. 7146
Neat. You must have a pretty impressive looking collection. Do you have it on some kind of display in your room or is it more of a reference collection that you keep around for your studies?
No. 7147
I've got them stowed away in plastic totes. We're going to be moving, so I'm making preparations.
No. 7168
Damn, if we're thinking of the same thing, that's a lot of CDs. I knew you were into this stuff but that must have been a pain in the backside to track down.
No. 7173
Most of the music is non-political or left-wing, but my humble RAC and RIF collection is expanding, so I wanted to share my current finds.
No. 7176
Oh right, that makes more sense then. I thought you meant your RAC collection filled multiple tubs :-D

What other sorts of music do you listen to? You mention left-wing music. Was there RAC in the sense of Rock against Capitalism? :-DDDD
No. 7181
Ok, I take it back, apparently I'm doing my job poorly and we lost 2 orders because of that :-DDDDDD.

I told my brother to check after me for mistakes, but he doesn't want to check, he says to make it perfect on first try.

He's the last person in the managerial chain who looks at documents, so I thought it'd make sense for him to check for mistakes, but looks like he doesn't want to do that :-DDD.

Maybe I should quit and do something else, having low attention span doesn't work well with this kind of job.
No. 7185
>but he doesn't want to check,
So do you know how to make right? If you don't, be straight, ask your brother, whether he wants to keep you, and if he wants, ask him to show how to do it right.
Or you can be homo, take a dress, make a squeaky voice and come to brother: "Onii-chan, how do I do it right, can you teww me, pwease!"
No. 7187
Wait a sec, I just checked the papers and it's HIM who fucked up when he was sending off the paper.
He adds new entries to the order list when sending them, and he overwrote one entry.

How do I know that? Because when I add back the value of the missing item, total sum ends up exactly as the one we intended.

Fucking faggot, and he gave me a brutal scolding for this. Cunt.
No. 7188
You could say most Punk music is against capitalism at least rhetorically. In practice is another story.

Most of the music I own is either Punk or Metal, but I've got some odd favorites from other genres in between:
No. 7192
261 kB, 800 × 557
My Windows installation has crashed and doesn't want to boot. Let's hope it's some program error but not failing HDD.
No. 7201
I've just realized I'm tired because instead of a litre of strong, I've been drinking a cup of weak tea a day.
Thank God, tomorrow this holiday ends. The family becomes quite grating after 5 days. Being together 0-24 wears you down, because over time, the little quirks you don't know despite living together become apparent and magnified.
No. 7209
...oddly I just had that same exact problem. Did you get the 0xc0000034 error code? You need to boot from disk. If you have no disk you can get/make a boot disk as long as you have access to another windows machine and internet and either USB (harder) or DVD burner (easier). Naturally I am automatically suspicious of why this is. I had previously blamed Steam.
No. 7219
50 kB, 631 × 796
Dad keeps telling me to stop drinking.
Looks like he's worried.



No. 7221
I already told him I want to kill myself.

next time I'll tell him it's because of him.


get fucked daddy.
No. 7224
It's probably a bit late of an age for rebelling against dad and being edgy, but god damn it when I was a teenager, he was perpetually drunk.

I think it's time.
No. 7228
Tell him you love him and give him a kiss
No. 7230
Grow up and don't fuck up your life even more
No. 7231
More than a year ago must be nearly two years by now in september or late august I finished my last track and uploaded it to SC.

I got gf around that time.
Now that she is away for a two months already I finally did a track again. It was a magical rush from early afternoon to around 10-11pm that I got it finished and ready for upload. I ate nothing during that time my breakfast was a peach. Fascinating how producing can still suck me in for a few hours straight.
No. 7232
sounds gay
No. 7233
He's your father, give him a long, loving kiss on his mouth.
No. 7242
That's an impressive list of music tbh, I don't think I can get through all 100+ pages. Nice Akka though, I do approve of that :-D

If you haven't already, you should find some more Pub Rock to listen to.

If your old man is telling you to cut it back, then you know it's bad m9. That's the moral of the story here tbh.

What music do you make? I presume some kind of electronic since you can just do it at home to a good enough quality to just release?
No. 7244
My brother keeps refusing to do quality control on my work even though he's the last stage of the production chain.

"Just do it the right first time"
The point is to catch mistakes. And giving him an opportunity to be responsible for his own business/money instead of putting blind faith onto a minimum wage employee.

I he THAT fucking lazy that he doesn't even want to browse through some paperwork once in a while? He doesn't even have to fix shit, just leave me a note so I can.

And then he acts all annoyed when I tell him to check my work, and he finds mistakes. NIGGER, THAT'S THE POINT, I'M TELLING YOU TO CHECK IT SO THAT YOU CAN FIND MISTAKES BEFORE WE SPEND REAL WORLD MONEY ON THIS SHIT
No. 7245
How I'd go about it is double check on your end before you send it upstairs and tell him that you've double checked it but take a brief scan and tell you if he sees a mistake and you'll fix it. I dunno, maybe you do/have. I think that if you haven't already, do make it clear that you're not asking him to fix it, just spot it before it goes out the door, but he's also probably not a proofreader so there should be some checking before it gets to him too. Give a little take a little, probably the best way to go about that situation.
No. 7248
Why doesn't he just do all of your work?
No. 7250
Yep. I've been steadfastly collecting records and look forward to expanding my collection.

Of the 2900+ items I own, at least 2170 of them are Metal. The rest is a mix of everything else, namely Punk.
No. 7251
Just standard releases or are you going for limited and collectors editions as well?
No. 7253
Mostly standard issues / reissues, but sometimes I'll buy a different edition of the same album. Ex: "Turbo: 30th Anniversary Edition" by Judas Priest
No. 7257
Because he's too lazy / doesn't have the attention span / can't / not enough time.

In fact, I'm doing all of his work right now while he's taking care of his side business.

And I don't mind, really, it's a cozy job, but it'd be cool if he'd stop being a cunt about me making sure that he doesn't lose his money by checking in him for every order.
No. 7258
Kaz, stop being angry. Get some alone time with mother nature, please.
No. 7262
2,8 MB, 480 × 360, 0:48
drank a lot yesterday. today "late"-ish for work(-ish stuff).
maybe gud. maybe the cats i feed in the morning get hungry and go hunting themselves. one of them usually doesn't even eat a lot of the dry food i give 'em; prefers to hunt, it seems.

actually got shit done the last few days. the farmyard doesn't look thaaaat rundown anymore.
No. 7264
>What music do you make? I presume some kind of electronic since you can just do it at home to a good enough quality to just release?

Yes, you are right. It's also electronic music that specifically does not need much polishing like a mixdown and mastering process and therefore I can do it myself fast.
No. 7265 Kontra
Forgot to mention it's kinda raw house music. But I also do other stuff.
No. 7269
50 kB, 720 × 644
Sounds cool. I'm not an electronic music pro but I do know the reputation of Germany with regards to underground electronic music, so I can only assume that it'd be breddy good.
No. 7271
Some people ask for my music :DDD I actually have a track that has more than 16k by now. But I'm still unknown to almost everyone. Never had the material to do an actual release even tho I had people being interested in it.
No. 7273
Ebun. 16k is a lot of people. Could you do some kind of digital release on Bandcamp maybe?
No. 7275
61 kB, 667 × 676
Finally at home.
It's unbelievably nice to have some personal space again.
I should make some proper tea.

Got an e-mail from the antiquary that they have a book that I've reserved, but I find it a bit pricey for ~9 euros. But then again, it's a nicer edition than the English one, which costs even more.
What a dilemma, right?
I'll probably buy it, and make a shopping run in the capital why at it. Gotta by some Earl Grey if I'm correct. Or maybe I should just drink the Russian flavour I have.
No. 7276
Yes Perhaps, but I'm a bit lazy. I will have to wait and see if I continue making music more often now.
No. 7280
213 kB, 736 × 1209
You post reminds me of a reoccurring daydream of mine to live in a major European city in some tiny flat on the upper floors of a house from around 1900, where I spent my days living a shut in bohemian life.
No. 7282
912 kB, 580 × 714
We'll, in a sense, that's my ideal too. Ever since reading Kafka.
I even have a map of the Doppelmonarchie on my wall.

Drank a bit of tea, I feel a lot better now.
No. 7283
Drinking whiskey out of a wine glass.

Pissed off with milk prices in HK, so I have decided to stop buying milk.
236ml was 1.5e for two cartons, or 2.5e for 900ml.
Now it is 1.9e for 3 x 236ml cartons.
Fuck this mafia pricing.

Decided to take a week off work and see Shanghai and Xi'an.
No. 7284
I miss 0.5l and 1l cartons
No. 7288
>Ever since reading Kafka.

Ye, especially literates are prone too such lifes. I want my own fancy Bau.
Yet I would be ok if it comes without the Donaumonarchie.
But thanks to skyrocketing rents around the world it won't happen I guess.
If I had the guts I would move to Vienna, since it is rather cheap there. But so far I don't dare to move.
No. 7289
I miss £1 for 2.272 litres of fresh whole milk.
No. 7292
In winter you will be found in the most messy bar reading books and doing your studies. There is a glass of absinth next by. Not because of the alcohol, but because you can refill it with water again and again for free, so that the host can't kick you out.
This is your daily life since you can't afford a heater or even the wood for your oven in your flat <3
No. 7295
Not long ago I read Rilkes M. Brigge and loved the "modern" passages. The protagonist is forced to go out because the wood just smoked and did not burn if I recall it right.

Are there any shady cafes anymore with dark interieur? I wouldn't mind going there since I think coffeehouse culture and life was different back then. The Traumnovelle had to read it in school was my first contact with cozy Austro nightlife around 1900.
Also what was the price of a coffee back then and how does it compare to today when you see it in relation to average income then and now?
No. 7296
There ain't no shitty places in Vienna.

I used to take a course on "Wiener Moderne". This professor is pretty damn old and visits vienna twice a year to have reading and writing circles with his old pals in the cafés there. So there must be some nice places left.
No. 7297
26 kB, 379 × 333
I don't know about how the Germans in Germany see it, but I think of Vienna as the "World city within arm's reach", where even as a foreigner, I have a bit of a past, since History connected us for a long time.
Budapest is nice and all, it serves its purpose as being the centre for the "Hungarian world", but Vienna is the place to be if you are setting your eyes abroad as a Hungarian. Or at least it used to be, back a hundred years ago.
No. 7298
208 kB, 1112 × 1600
Everything in my life is fine. I have a job. My share portfolio is doing excellently. I am healthy. I am free of many normal consumer urges (new phone each year, new PC, new clothes, etc)

But STILL I suffer!
No. 7299
Come to Latvia, you clearly suffer not enough.
No. 7302
Germany has Berlin where all kinds of nations gather.
No. 7303
It must be incredible. You have so many big cities.

All these places where you can go and experience different cultures and specializations.
We only have one city. That's about it. Our cultural lebensraum is limited by our small population. Merely 13 million overall, just about 9.5 living in the motherland.
Haven't even experienced what that city has to offer, yet I feel my soul constrained just by comparing it to the whole wide world.
And even then, there are peoples on this planet who are worse off. Think about that.
No. 7309

You probably mean Frankfurt am Main, since Frankfurt an der Oder is a small city.

And Budapest as as many inhabitants as Hamburg or Munch. Frankfurt is less than a million. But I agree on Berlin.

You live in Budapest? Maybe you just don't know the right places or people? Tho I could think there is less ethnical difference than in German cities and not just because of the refugees.

Berlin is a spot for people all over the world to come to. It is joked that you rather speak English than German there. Nobody says that about the other bigger German towns.
No. 7310
37 kB, 300 × 300
>All these places where you can go and experience different cultures and specializations.
>We only have one city. That's about it.
I've never felt so good living in Russia.
No. 7311
You have a lot too, even if I can only name Pidorsburg and Moscow.

Mixed up the two.
No, I'm not a Budapester. I live on the Western side of the agglomeration in a sizeable town. 30 minutes to get into the city with bus.
Don't take it the wrong way, but maybe I'm a bit blinded by Germany's lights and that's why I can't appreciate Budapest properly. It's not a bad city, it has tons of opportunities, bit it feels a bit small when you look west.
No. 7313
3,5 MB, 2748 × 3174
Worked til 3 AM today. Whew.

My main takeaway from my alco adventures is that the joyous state is quite exhausting and bothersome. I much prefer being sad. It feels comfortable and familiar to be sad, and there is no pleasure greater than lying in your bed being sad, and then falling into a deep slumber and seeing sad dreams. It feels like home.

And others seem to view me being a sadcunt as my "true" self. Apparently, they think I'm so much more charismatic when I'm miserable. I guess they're right, I hate extroverted spazzy fucks myself.
No. 7324
44 kB, 657 × 527
It's not that being a sadcunt is your true self but rather that you under a large dose of a mind-altering substance like alcohol is by logic alone, not your real self. If you find a way to be happy that doesn't involve drinking yourself to oblivion/death, then we'll all see that. I don't think anybody wants you to be unhappy here, we just want to see you be happy for a real reason reason and one that doesn't involve tricking your brain with alcohol.
No. 7325
I really think you should drink vodka, until you go through this you are just in shallow water.
On second thought perhaps not.

Well I drank 4 beers(japanese) and half a bottle of Johnnie walker, not bad, not bad.
I would have preferred a better scotch but the black version is smooth and easy drinking, options here are limited.

Slept like a fucking baby, no hangover, got me some Monster Sip^tm
Going to read Wiseguy, the book goodfellas is based on, watch Donnie Brasco, later maybe some food and the rest of the bottle, if I feel some energy may go out and get some Korean grill.
Not touch anymore booze yet, had a mediocre bacon and some pineapple.

I think listening to 70s music is good for the soul, I dl a book called idiots guide to classical music, as I would like to get back into listening to this.
No. 7326
15 kB, 532 × 320
Maybe you have to join the consumers to be happy?
No. 7328
Also: Dear diary, I did nothing and just stayed at home playing video games and drinking for two days straight now. I regret nothing.
No. 7330
15 kB, 832 × 958
I seems kinda weird that my source of reality checks is an offshoot of an obscure german imageboard, but it is what it is.
It's why I've been shitposting so much lately, I need second opinions, and a lot of them. If you don't act obnoxious enough to breach the barrier of politeness, you'll never hear anyone's true opinion.

But the part about being more "charismatic" while melancholic is from my mother. She said that when a big man (by asian standards) like me acts like a hyperactive spazz, it looks "weird and disturbing" (in her words).
No. 7341
I couldn't say if it's weird or not. NTs have their social circles that they presumably bounce ideas off of, and imageboards are the social circles of people like us. To me it makes perfect sense, but I guess to a well-adjusted person it might seem strange to have a social life in text. That said, if your ma is saying that you're acting kind of disturbing, you should probably take that to heart. She's better versed in the physical aspects of your behaviour than us, especially in the Brickistan context.
No. 7363
Decided to get that book, since an English hardback costs twice as much.
Managed to catch another cold.
Currently listening to jazz and making green tea in the gaiwan.
No. 7364
No, it was exactly failing HDD.
No. 7379
What type of jazz and which musician?
I don't get much of a chance to discuss jazz music in real life (besides very surface level preconceptions of jazz that people might have).
No. 7380
I was listening to a random mix of 70s Japanese Jazz and Jazzfusion.
>I don't get much of a chance to discuss jazz music in real life
I can't be of service either, since my musical education is quite lacking sadly. I've forgotten nearly everything I've learnt during my years with music lessons.
No. 7381
I wasn't necessarily speaking about theory, but just about any jazz records that you would like and enjoy.
No. 7388 Kontra
What situation? Why the fuck are you linking us to that cancerous site instead of asking here?
No. 7390
Relax I'm not linking this on other sites
No. 7391
Well, that was an uncomfortable read because I'm also stuck in my development and I find girls of my age with academic success / career intimidating (since I'm a loser), and lower class girls unappealing.

I also have trust issues due to paranoia left over from anxiety and schizotypal. Whenever I meet a new person, the first thing I think of is 10 different scenarios in which said person is lying to me and trying to fuck me somehow. Worst thing is, my paranoid instincts are often right.
No. 7392
>not smart enough for smart girls
>can't stand stupid girls because they remind me of me
I learned how to fix that dilemma with age, I realized I am not entitled to any happiness and I should be happy with what rare luck is granted to me. That lowered my narcissistic expectations of other people especially women
No. 7394
Tbh my problem is the exact opposite.

I crave and envy normality. I'm afraid of normal people. I don't think intelligence, power, etc. are virtues on their own. It's how you use them. And normal people tend to be sinless due to ignorance and weakness. I crave that innocense.
No. 7396
It's quite funny seeing people back away when they smell my Alco breath.

I'm a degenerate and I'm proud of it
No. 7403
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It's getting colder outside, also darker
I looked at some pictures I saved years ago, now I'm in a very melancholic mood
My wrists hurt and the only progress I've made on my bachelor's thesis this month was deleting my draft and creating an empty thesis_v2.tex

Going to listen to some music now, work out and take a shower
The day is not over after all, there's still some time to get motivated to do something
No. 7410
>suicide methods in pepe pic

who wants to suicide when he can have that view including rain. I want to sit near the window now while the heater is running.

I did nothing for my papers the last days, yesterday I played Sims 1, more or less let it just run on fast forward and look what my character was doing. I had to laugh (bitterly) when I sent him to read a book or search for a job and "he" said he is too depressed for it

Have ever heard of Citavi? If you plan on doing masters and you have a degree that contains a lot of writing papers, citavi can be useful in organizing your notes, you can create the whole structure of your bachelor/master/book/paper in it with your notes individually attached to each chapter and then just import that into Word where you just make the fine adjustments the transitions between notes/chapters etc all the notes.

Basically Citavi organizes your research notes and literature and makes it possible to create the skeleton of your work
No. 7413
>We only have one city.

Even we with our 4 million people have 4 cities with over 100 000 inhabitants.
No. 7414
I guess he thinks cities are places with over 1 million inhabitants.
No. 7418
I live in a city with more than 300.000 and I think its a provincial bumfuck more or less. An actual village would kill me tho. I've nothing against it as in going there but living would be a no-no, at least while being still younger than 35.
No. 7420
Well, he referred explicitly to the variety of local cultures that Hungary can't have supposedely because of their too small population and Lebensraum and I just tried to point out that even countries with much smaller population can have it, so I guess the main reason for the lack of different regional identities around vatious urban centers might be Hungarian mentality and not so much their lack of cities and space.
No. 7421
>city with more than 300.000 and I think its a provincial bumfuck more or less

I don't believe that size matters that much.
If it weren't for your bigger cities (Hamburg, Berlin, München) some smaller cities would simply take over their role as administrative, economic and cultural centers.
No. 7422
>economic and cultural centers.

my city is this in the region. Yet it feels like a bumfuck to what you can do and meet in Berlin or Hamburg. The more people the more possibilities and shared interest. Even tho my town has a university that is not so super small (~25.000) it feels like rarely anything really interesting happen on a frequent basis. Here and there you have some interesting stuff or venue but that's it. Maybe people don't like to organize stuff here because it's more difficult than in Berlin, who knows.
No. 7425
I second this. Wrote my first paper this semester and it was a huge help. It's also really easy to use once you know which 3 buttons you have to press.
No. 7429
39 kB, 639 × 492
Dear diary, everything keeps tumbling down. Now even family matters fuck my shit up. I see no point in writing it all down anymore. This shall be my last entry.
No. 7431
Why do you not write in other threads?
No. 7432
1,8 MB, 3264 × 1836
Eated nice sausages. This sausages are made by very tiny company in local Saami center and they at 90% are fresh reindeer (caribou) meet and they very tasty, like just awesome, you can eat them without anything. It is not regular soy trash that presentet in regular stores typically! (At least in russia).

Also seen this birds today https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tree_pipit
It hard to distinguish them from sparrows but I managed to. It is nice to see them here - at winter they will move in sub-saharian aftica or india. So tiny birds, smaller than sparrow and they make path thought half of the world every year.
No. 7439

He already is using (La)TeX and you dare to mention Word? If we weren't the gentlemen we are here, I'd be insulting you accordingly now. Please, feel insulted on an academic level.
No. 7443
83 kB, 300 × 300
My chan I became Anonymous Imageboard user with has turned to shit a lot ago. I just can't come back there and EC is my last resort.
Guess if EC has totally disappeared, I'd have unfillable void in my heart and in my soul.
No. 7446 Kontra
*had disappeared
No. 7448
My gf brought me smoked raindeer meat from Finland recently and I can confirm that it is delicious.
In general there are worlds of difference between a good sausage and crap-sausages from the supermarket. Like a good Kielbasa Krakowska, so hard you have to have actually good knifes to cut it, compared to the "Krakauer" you can buy at the supermarked here, which is just slightly harder Fleischwurst with a bit of garlic. Worlds of difference.
No. 7458

I don't need diagrams, charts and other stuff in my papers. I know it's default on my university computer.
So it's the Linux of writing programs?
At least the creation of section looks way more comfortable on a first glance.
No. 7460
I wanted to object but LaTeX really is messy like Linux. TeX is nice though, it was created because Donald Knuth became assburgers for his book's typesetting. You can do diagrams too, but you describe them through text which takes a bit of time getting used to.
No. 7462
What's the difference between TeX and LaTeX?
No. 7463
1,2 MB, 480 × 360, 0:25
I thought you Hungarian Jews ruled France?
No. 7466
Are you also using Excel instead of Matlab for your graphs?
No. 7467
LaTeX is a set of macros on top of TeX. It's written by different people and has a lot of the typical open-source rot attached, unlike TeX which is feature-frozen for all time and only receives bugfixes. It is however the way most people (including me) use TeX nowadays.
No. 7469
Guys, please. What's messy is not Linux but the surrounding environment like GNU and all the DEs, initsystems, etc.
In that sense your comparison must be reversed and TeX compared to Linux while LaTeX is compared to entire distros.

But yes, LaTeX is messy as fuck. And yet, I am using it for a lack of alternatives.
No. 7470
Linux is very messy compared to something like the BSDs. But you are right, the mess I meant is more like the Linux userspace.
No. 7472
So you don't write raw TeX?
>What's messy is not Linux but the surrounding environment like GNU and all the DEs, initsystems, etc.
systemd/GNOME™ doesn't have such a problem.
No. 7473
Thanks for the recommendation, I might look into it in the future. Though actually I really don't feel like doing any more scientific writing after I'm done with this thesis
I've already tried a few different reference managers, but right now I'm already invested in using Qiqqa for my thesis. It's a bit of a clusterfuck but it has some nice tagging/sorting options which was the most important feature I was looking for
I can't fathom how a lot of people seem to use Mendeley, which has literally no discernible features besides creating a bibliography
No. 7474
It's certainly possible, but I don't know anybody who does. TeX is much lower-level and concentrates on typesetting while a LaTeX document is more semantic.

>systemd/GNOME™ doesn't have such a problem.
RIP treda
No. 7475
132 kB, 335 × 726
Moreso, I want them die. DIE!
That place has been plagued by moderation who doesn't even respect their users, openly laughs in their face, uses avatars and cultivates avatarfagging.
No. 7483
I totaly agree
Expet I want point out that
Kolbosa/kilebasa and Sosiski/small sausages are different thing there. Also there are sardelki
Dunno if other nations divide it like that
No. 7484
64 kB, 800 × 600
I want become Lich and ressurect armies of undead
No. 7489
713 kB, 500 × 345, 0:01
I finally have internet access yet again.
Spent the last day reading. Got bored of my main book so I've read a Mishima play and a Kawabata novella.
Started working on my novel translation again. Realized I clipped the pages wrong, so I have 5 chapters to go instead of 4 to go. So now it's 99.99% sure that I won't be able to finish it until school starts.
It feels like I've disappointed someone. Probably myself.
No. 7491
>and ressurect armies of undead
Revive Dvach and 0chan?
No. 7492
Arent' 0chan alive? In some sort of mobile-orientated interface site or something
No. 7493
53 kB, 688 × 512
I reduced my dosage of Prozac. I think it was making me slightly maniacal and inducing drug seeking behavior.
After cutting down, I drank two cans of beer expecting a familiar buzz, but instead almost threw up and passed out.

My paycheck's going into bills and mortgage. So I still have no agency and self-sufficiency. If only I didn't turn schizo at 16. If I started working at the age of 18, I'd have something by now, maybe.

I'm not sure what to do with my time. Since I don't drink any more, all I have left is shitposting on imageboards. Still have no motivation to play video games and music is awfully dull recently.

I think I might need IRL friends, as weird as that sounds. Force myself to do at least SOMETHING, with company as encouragement. Funny, I used to think "I don't need any friends, I can do whatever I want on my own". Well, I can, but turns out, I won't.

Also rate screencap I took from a documentary.
No. 7495
It died in May or in the end of April IIRC.
No. 7496
Go hiking, take walks somewhere outside a city. I know I'm repeating myself, but I honestly mean it.
No. 7497
Maybe when I get my second paycheck and actually have disposable income and time.

I work pretty much 12 hours a day, since me and my brother have no schedule. If there's work ahead, we just do it.
No. 7507
Not a surprise, I was there a little bit and it was almost dead shit
No. 7570
My days contain of reading, eating and some other minor stuff. I don't do anything for my papers and I wanted to finish the first around August 31. I feel like a shitty depressed sack of garbage since last week. No motivation to do anything of relevant importance.

I watched Tyrannosaur some bit mentioned it, gotta be thankful for that and it gave me feels. I want and partly lead such a lonely life with all its consequences. Where will I end up? Escape that life or just lead it. I like being on my own and yet it tears me apart I think.

Where to get cheap pistachios? I mean fresh unsalted because I'd like to try Baklava on my own.
I could just visit the turkish supermarket, have to do it anyway to get the dough...
No. 7575
Might have been me who mentioned Tyrannosaur. I'm glad you liked it, too bad barely anyone knows about this film. Same goes for 'The Disappearance of Alice Creed' and a bunch of other very good british films from the past decade that nobody seems to have seen.
No. 7576
Maybe the brit just respond to it? I thought it was a brit. I cannot even remember the post really but I had the Wikipedia tab to Tyrannosaur open a few days.

Do you know any other British dramas that are any good?

This is England e.g is a film I've seen many years ago and I liked it as well. There is something intriguing about British society.
You can really grasp it's an island with a different culture. For instance housing and the interior. In Tyrannosaur this was really well made. Both exterior and interior places.
No. 7577
Now I had to watch this

Also the TV show sequel is super shitty.
No. 7581
>Also the TV show sequel is super shitty.

I only saw a few minutes back when it came out.

Would also take other drama recommondations, as long as they have the settings/style of Tyrannosaur, This is England

Tonight I will try this on perhaps

Warmerdam also directed Schneider vs. Brax which was a good movie concerning its plot and pictures


This music takes away the films atmosphere. The film has dark humor yet the music seems to indicate some le funny assassin competition
No. 7593
>Do you know any other British dramas that are any good?

Harry Brown (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1289406/) and The Disappearance of Alice Creed are the only ones that come to mind right now, but there are definitely more that I've seen.
No. 7594
And immediately I remembered another one: Fish Tank https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1232776/
Didn't like that one too much because I found some characters too cringy, but it definitely fits the bill of close observation of the british society.
No. 7598
I have stumbled across it within my short research but wasn't interested. IMDB suggested Red Road next to it tho, which might be interesting.
No. 7600
142 kB, 960 × 720
182 kB, 1268 × 714
I ate a whole pot of cooked Sauerkraut for dinner, without any other food.
No. 7602
I approve. Did you use fat for making it?
No. 7611
533 kB, 3305 × 1145
dear diary,

i'm tired as fuck. after years of neeting i'm working way too much; don't even get real payz for it. 6 days / week, ~10h / day.
i need sleepz. but don't wanna sacrifice the little social life i have for sleepz. somehow need to reduce my working hours.
No. 7613
if you figure out how to do a liver and kidney gallbladder cleanse then report back, i'd heard that's the secret to regaining teenage-level energy. i'm sleeping 12 hours a day and it's not enough. so far i've failed at my detox attempts and i still have stubborn belly bloat and i'm sloth tier, it's gotta be that.
No. 7626
Lmao I just quit my job.
Got 2 paychecks.

Told my brother that I'm tired of taking his shit because he tells me to do work that he didn't bother to do 30 minutes before deadline and taking the blame because I didn't manage to finish it.

Apparently I'm fired now.
Well, let's see who folds first. Me, from lack of money (unlikely, I've been neet for 5 years and can go 5 years more), or him, from lack of time and disorganization (likely, half my job consisted of cleaning up after him).

Time to follow my true passions:
Sleep all day (no job)
Quit meds (no money)
Masturbate every day (no more limp dick from meds).
No. 7627
I have wasted my chance, I need to kms
No. 7628
I'm currently in the middle of editing a new video to compliment the production made by an online acquaintance.
No. 7629
Damn it man. I dunno what to say here since I've quit because of shitty bosses before, but part of having a job is putting up with other people's bullshit. That's why you get paid and aren't receiving profit directly and why starting your own business is such a popular thing. As a worker though, pride don't do you no favours, you've got to swallow it and just do what you've been told to do and it's not always pleasant but it being unpleasant is why you get paid.

Also, I wouldn't be too sure of their inability to replace you after two paychecks. I've seen far more experienced guys sidelined for less. I suppose some good is happening in that you can't afford half as much beer as you have been able to, but that's not really a step up in the end.
No. 7631
Nah, we'll probably calm down and arrange something.

His problem is that he doesn't want to pay me as much, and wants to cut my pay by 30%. This little incident, which isn't even worth stressing about since it was such a small order, was just an excuse.
At the same time, he doesn't want me to work from home even though all my job is digital and online.

30% of my paycheck already goes into commuting and dinner, so there's no reason for me to really go to work if I'm gonna be earning less than 40% of the originally promised amount.

Ideally, I'd like to work from home and get 66% of my current pay, so in the end I don't spend as much, and he doesn't have to pay as much. Seems like a win/win, I don't know why he's so hellbent on me sitting at his dumb office all day.

If such an arrangement works out, I'll just get another job and do his on a free schedule as kind of a freelancer.

I think the fag needed a bit of pushback all along, he's too much of a pussy to convince the investor to pay me, but he doesn't want to pay me out of his own pocket either. If he said, "I'll pay you X for this job", and then tries to find every excuse to pay me 60% of that, I say he's a blabbermouth who lies for convenience and has no honor.
No. 7634
I see. Yeah, cutting your pay by a third after two paychecks is bullshit. I can see where you're coming from.

The reason for wanting you to commute is psychological. It's a separation of work and home. If you're at a workplace, then the theory goes that you subconsciously go into work mode while if you're just at home then you're still in home mode and are more likely to slack off. Plus they can keep an eye on you and just come to your desk if they need to talk about something.

It's utter rubbish, in reality there's not really a true work mode. People just get bored and act up as much as they can get away with but that's the theory anyway.
No. 7635
I can get the work mode mentality... if he himself spent any time at the office.
Most of the time I'm there alone and we communicate by phone anyway.
I just feel like a retard sitting alone in an empty office all day, and having to pay for dinner at a cafe when there's perfectly good chicken at home.
Not to mention we lose 2 hours a day commuting.

He's even lazier than I am, and I think he wants me to keep him in check or something, but I do that from home already.
No. 7651
140 kB, 800 × 789
Today I've become a certified bachelor.
It wasn't fun. Why did I do it?
No. 7654
432 kB, 1271 × 850
You do sound overworked but your body is also getting used to the stress of working again. I'd go get some rest as you no doubt need it, you can hardly work well if you work tired.

Are you the farmer Ernst? If so shouldn't it be getting to harvest time soon when you can enjoy the festival??

>It wasn't fun. Why did I do it?

The working world will soon correct this mistaken impression. I assure you.
No. 7658
237 kB, 443 × 415
I'll most certainly not be finished with the translation by the end of the Summer Break.
Going to stop working on it for today. 1.5 pages behind schedule.
Tomorrow I'll be picking up my textbooks for the next schoolyear, already bought the notebooks I'll need.
I also got banned from magyarchan. It was a "lolban", so nothing serious, but it's quite annoying imho.
The stress is making my eyebrows twitch for some reason. Mainly the right one.
No. 7660
499 kB, 1262 × 1856
After reading and cleaning my room a little bit I've been listening to some Duke Ellington while doing the dishes in my small kitchen in a big city while getting some New York vibes. Now I finish the work with a cigarette and a hot drink. Afterwards I will write an application for a job.
No. 7664
88 kB, 600 × 520
If you're only working as a serf for someone else, I find great wisdom in what he said. If you're living and suffering and dying purely for the betterment of another who's exploiting you then you're consensually reducing yourself to being livestock.

Speaking of that place does anybody know what the hell this was about?
Oddly enough most if not all corpo media outlets killed the story. ABC removed it from their site.

> PODGORICA — Montenegro on Thursday issued an international arrest warrant for a former CIA agent for alleged involvement in what the government said was a failed pro-Russia coup designed to prevent the Balkan country’s NATO membership.

>Montenegro’s state TV said that prosecutors want the extradition of Joseph Assad, a U.S. citizen born and raised in Egypt, on charges of participating in a criminal enterprise led by two Russian military spy agency officers.

>The Russians and 12 others, mostly Serbs, are on trial in Montenegro over the alleged election day plot in October 2016 that included plans to assassinate then-Prime Minister Milo Djukanovic, storming parliament and taking over power. The Russians are being tried in absentia.

>Montenegro’s prosecutors are investigating whether Assad was hired to help the 14 suspects on an escape plan. He was named during testimony by another former CIA agent at the trial.

>Assad has reportedly refused to testify and denied wrongdoing.

>Assad and his wife, Michele, both former U.S. counter-terrorism officers, gained international attention when U.S. media said they helped more than 100 Iraqi Christians to escape Islamic State group violence and flee to Europe as refugees in 2015.

>Assad’s whereabouts are currently unknown. He is said to be heading an Abu Dhabi-based security agency.

>Montenegro joined NATO last year despite strong opposition from its longtime Slavic ally Russia. Moscow has denied accusations that it took part in the plot.
No. 7672
My latest hohhy is getting retard drunk in front of my fater just to see his reaction at what ruined him now ruining me,.

i hope you're proud of yourself your piece o shit.

the look of concern in his eyes as I smash my room to pieces and iis priceless.

get a taste of your own edicine you fuck. I'll kill myself before you die, that' the ost effective punishment I can think uo for you. Father outliving his son. What a tragedy. But in my eyes, it's justice. Of what we are born, we return to.
No. 7673
mommy i'm sorry

i'm dying

i can't puke no more
there\s npthing left

My self destruction is the punishement upon your bloodline

i forgot te rest

hol up.

i can't remember what it was that I rehearsed
No. 7674
In feudalism you didnt have much choice and you as a serf were forbidden to own a business and forget about free trade.

Today if you are capable you can own a business. And it`s not exploiting neither for solely for others development if that was the case the luxury things eventually wouldnt be common and afforadble.
No. 7675
What is your chances of getting admitted to a psych ward again.
You are going to end up in a hospital or jail.
The quicker this happens will be better for you.
You seek out to be punished, but sometimes when a screw is loose it will not go back the way it was suppose to.
Perhaps alcohol is not a good fit for your brain.
Have a shower and a eat some food, steal a bicycle and head somewhere warm before it is winter.
No. 7676
I've been to a psych ward.

You know it's reallly easy to convince psychiatrists that you're merely "depressed" and not actually batshit insane?
It's really easy.

I've read philosophy damn it, this world is an illusion. Tie to unmake reality or I am the conduit. I am the lynchpin of the phenomenal.
No. 7688
149 kB, 469 × 445
I'm not going to work on the text any more today. Almost at 200k characters.
I feel like a stereotypical aspiring literati. That is fragile and weak.
Let's hope my health doesn't give up on me again. It's probably just stress.

Picked up my new textbooks. Surprisingly enough the State Bureau managed to improve the quality a bit at first glance. Most people make it out to be a political issue, but honestly, even from a student's perspective they are shit, and I judge them based on that.
No. 7722
>new textbooks

for school right?
I don't know what kind of subject but I can tell you that my history books that was used in 2011/12 even tho published in the 90s perhaps are shit tier compared to what you will have to read in university.
Even tho uni got restructured, it is still more demanding than school if you want to do it right. I got really irritated when I had a look into the school book some month ago and realized that this is what I was working with back then. Rough and broken down knowledge/methods. And I had history as a major in HS tho I had meh tier grades which completely switched when I started to really study a few years later

School books are a joke when you are good at what it is about.

what about the political issue? propaganda or people just complaining about the texts and tasks in these books?
No. 7723
Were the books at least factually correct? I'm studying mathematics and the school books are a straight up disaster zone. You'd be hard pressed to make a worse book.
No. 7741
534 kB, 1600 × 1200
>Are you the farmer Ernst?
yeah. harvesting is mostly done. very, very dry summer; early harvest. i'm helping on two different farms. one farmer still has some corn on the field. he has population corn instead of the usual hybrid corn (you can use the seeds to actually seed them; the hybrid corn seeds cannot be seeded, but they give ~20-30% more yield in "normal" years. this year the population corn did better; much more robust plant.)
but my work is mostly with animals on the one farm and on the other pretty much only cleaning and repairing old, overused machines.

today, tomorrow and the day after is "Kirmes" in our town. biggest festival of the year; everyone is coming "home" - even those not living in the town anymore, everyone drinking.
No. 7742
>Were the books at least factually correct

Well I haven't look thru it completely but it is more or less basic knowledge and the bigger streams of historic narration like "why did Weimar fail" and it's the birthday doom determinism which is not totally dated but there have been lot more newer research. I wrote a paper on how the biggest organization compared to the Roter Frontkämpferbund and the NSDAP, the Reichsbanner Schwarz-Rot-Gold which was a useful tool to the Weimar democratic government to spread democratic values. So Weimar was not torn appart between Commis and Nazis. They did create a messy trouble and it definitely had civil war character but I think the dimension is really different from any other country like Syria. I doubt Weimar was doomed from the beginning. After WW2 historians were fixated on why did Nazi Germany happend and they tried to explain it with the failing of Weimar and how the Nazis systematically destroyed it together with all the conservatives and red ones. I could imagine that people would have been get used to it actually. The stability it had in its middle years are a good proof. The crisis management was bad. The US with the New Deal had just like the Nazis which overtook many aspects of government issues/politics from Weimar btw a policy of deficit spending unlike Weimar authorities who went on austerity.
No. 7743 Kontra
Will you use population corn in the future now that it could be possible that these dry summers will repeat?
No. 7745
Yes, HS textbooks.
The political thing is somewhat complex, but I'll try to explain.
When the Government started restructuring the complete education system, they enacted a law that said teachers can only use textbooks that are approved of by a central committee.
Then they proceeded to not give permits for textbooks currently on the market, and only permit the textbooks that are produced by the Institution for Educational Improvement and Research, which is a governmental body.
The textbooks they produce are basically useless. I can't use them as textbooks, because they aren't well structured. They often have a really bad "Zusammenfassung" section that is completely useless and overly colourful even when produced for HS students. With the history books, the problem is that the secondary sources and the primary sources aren't well arranged in the book itself. With literature you had the problem that the commentary and the texts were next to each other, so if a teacher wanted the students to have a text while writing a text (Essentially write your own commentary of a given poem or short story), they'd need to print it out or find an older text-collection. (This has been fixed for HS books now, because I got both a textbook and a text-collection, independent of each-other)

Then there are the apparent plagiarisms surrounding the authorship and how they just cut parts from other textbooks. You get the idea.
And because it was done by a Government with a Supermajority, it's essentially a political issue.

Now I wouldn't give a rat's ass about any of this (I mean who has the time, willpower and nerves for politics?) if the books were actually good. This is my main problem. They've turned education into an us versus them political debate where the well being of the student is a third rate issue. The government says something, and the poseurs in the opposition act like dandies, which is they can only exist in absolute opposition and can only brainlessly attack whatever is currently being put forward by the government.
Whenever I criticise the system, I always feel obliged to say "as a student", because then it's clear that I'm not attacking it based on tabloid pieces, but on the grounds of suffering through every new experiment and idea they decide is for my own good.
No. 7752
>>7745 meant for >>7722
No. 7754
I'm officially giving up on finishing it by the first school day.
I'm a whole chapter behind and it's just not wort the stress and the bickering with myself to do it. Honestly, I'd rather not make my health suffer for it. I could do caffeine rushes accompanied by half a painkiller for my head hurting, but that'd be reckless. Gonna translate the three pages in this chapter, then I'm going to take this day and the next one off. While I like being this reckless guy who's fighting against something indescribable through his work, it's just a bit too tiresome sometimes and too much over all. Going crazy or getting sick over something like this, while quite romantic, isn't really good for you in the long run.

I'm eagerly awaiting how my classes will be arranged. I'll have tons of time off during the day either way, but it's important to know just how much. This is the year when we choose which subjects we want to "specialize" in, so that we can pursue a higher level matura exam at the end of year 12.
No. 7764
I don't know why I bother writing all the tasks I need to complete sometimes. The sticky-note app I use for my desktop just ends up getting blanked like some kind of subconscious procrastination.

How does Ernst keep on-top of things?

Still, maybe the work will taper off a little. You're kinda fucked if it's cows (from my limited countryboy upbringing) but at least the harvest machinery will be getting less use. Enjoy the festival, maybe senpai will notice your farming gains this year!
No. 7765
>How does Ernst keep on-top of things?
Things I like: get completed
Things I don't like: get procrastinated
Sticky notes rarely help me if I am forced to do something.
No. 7767 Kontra
I have a little notebook I kept.
I have a few jottings where I make notes about what to do to improve my life.
Notebook is 5 years old and unfortunately, no longer stinks of cigars(I stored it in a bad with cubans), In it I never complain or lament, I only give strategies on how to improve my life.
At the time, 5 years ago, I was working a job I hated for £18k p.a, I had started on 16k, and turned down a previous offer because I though 16k was too low.
I have mixed feelings, I also know how much I was drinking, but I remember keeping it to the weekend and losing 20kg and sparing in boxing, I also remember a LTR which nearly killed me and without I might have killed myself.
I have notes on saving money so I could go to HK for two, weeks and I am taking it page by page.
I threw away a big diary I kept at the time which had lots of maniacal drunk thoughts.

This post is verbose and unorganised just like my life.

However I just wanted to say I NEET'd for a few years, I drank for many more, I did a job which was beneath me until, by circumstance I was promoted, but not financially rewarded.

I have similar feeling about this job, anxiety and other concerns, but I have moved a long way in ten years, some small some big.

I think my parents will be proud, me I know I have to go back to school :(
No. 7786
190 kB, 1600 × 1201
i have a notebook with blank pages as well. in one direction i write thoughts and sketches. in the other direction i write important notes like appointments, things to do, etc.

if those meet somewhere in the middle, i get a new notebook.
No. 7819
Is it normal to get an anxiety attack over clicking the "confirm purchase" button when buying a mobile phone?

This is the first time I bought anything.
No. 7820
Dunno if it's normal but I know that feel. I even get really antsy about buying groceries.
No. 7821
Man, it's weird how we both have anxiety, but you have it worse off, or maybe I handle it better because of schizoids (blunted affect, poor ability to understand own emotion).

Anxiety is my most hated feeling, and I hate the way it unconsciously affects your behavior. Like some parts of your brain shut down and you become more of an animal, acting on instinct.
No. 7822
20 kB, 680 × 179
Tbh, I think you spike harder than me, but also have more downtime while I don't spike as bad but maintain a more general low-level anxiety most of the time. I wouldn't say one is worse than the other. They're different kinds of shitty.
No. 7831
185 kB, 420 × 363
I've just gravely insulted my father after he's returned from travelling. He brought home two bowls for me to use for tea, and asked "Can you find a use for these?", to which I autistically replied, "can't really", which saddened him greatly. His sadness saddened me in return.
He's trying so hard, yet we can't connect like father and son. My mother said during the holidays I'm a shit person to be around, and she is right, I know this because I spend 24 hours a days with myself.
It's just feels bad that I did this, but then again, what am I supposed to do with a really small bowl? It's not made for tea. This whole situation is overly contrived. "You might not want to take out and then pack away the proper teaset every time you have tea." I just don't get it, but even without any pushing I know I was in the wrong. Should have danced the social dance like a good little boy.
No. 7832
How about take a weekend to make BBQ together?
No. 7835
He’s almost never home. But when he is, it only creates tension. He gets irritated easily, so it’s not like I dislike it when he is away. It’s better if we don’t annoy each other much.
But I didn’t mean to cause emotional distress.
It’s almost like if we are strangers to each other sometimes. Every smalltalk we have is basically a giant play, where we play catch as we awkwardly pass the ball to one another, knowing that this conversation has no reason to happen because we don’t have much in common.
It’s just sad.
No. 7840
You're not the first person to have trouble connecting with family and you won't be the last. There is zero need to feel bad about any of this.

Do find a use for the bowls and make sure he sees you using them though. Even if it's inconvenient he bought them because he cares about you and you clearly care about how he feels. Say that he even realises you're just using them to appreciate his gift, would that be so bad?
No. 7842
well you seem to focus on things are not common with your father. you are in same family of course you'll have something in common.

I mean surely you might not make the best water cooler talk with your father but how about your emotions about the family and whole thing coming off awkard yet both of you trying? That's something in common and believe me it's good enough.
No. 7849
Well, I was a night shift for brother's internet cafe, then "friends" showed up, we got retard drunk together with all the clients, had alco adventures, lots of intoxicated drama, and in the end it got really tiresome when some schizo was cleaning out my ears with his bullshut for 4 hours while I was barely holding back my puke from the stratosphere.

I was sober for 4 entire days and now I remember why drinking is bad: stupid fucking shit happens, and when I'm sober, I won't want to have anything to do with it.

God fuck this.
No. 7853
So I went out alone drank beers and whiskey and accidently went to as brothel but ran away when they tried to charge 22e for a prostitues drink.
I literally fled lol, swearing in Cantonese, girls were ugly as sin, but got everything felt :) and played grab ass for a good 5 minutes, seen the charges went fuck this got up and nearly ran away :)
Good night.
No. 7854
Everyone turns into their father.
No. 7856
Everyone seems to have a thing to say about drinking alone, but drinking in company is worse.
Especially when none of them are your friends, but it feels like it, when drunk.

Do dumb shit, embarrass yourself, almost get into a fight, break up a fight, get shit from "friends" for de-escalating the situation instead of "mashing up those fuckers".

It's all too bothersome.

You know what, drinking seems to be a dumb hobby in general. Not a very fulfilling use of one's time at all.
No. 7858
When you drink heavy, or your sub-conscious aim to to get obliterated(fuck up).
Drinking in company or having socail media is better.
It has nothing to do with drink.
Still think you should drink vodka for a different drunk fee, but I think meds+booze is fucking stupid and you should not do any psycho activity including smoking.
Get a real job and move out or, steal a bicycle and go somewhere warm.
No. 7859
I meant drinking alone is much better.
Fuck, those two things are bad in combination.
No. 7865
Happened for the second time in less than one month, and it never happened before. I don't even remember when was the last time that I peed in bed when I was a kid. But now it happened twice in the same way, I pee just a little, which causes me to wake up in shock due to the feeling of warm pee running down my hips, I go to the bathroom and there's not much to pee in the toilet. So it's not about being full, I think it's something about the dreams, but because I wake up so suddenly I can't remember what I was dreaming.

What is happening?
No. 7869
9 kB, 238 × 192
Fuckers at work pissing me off again. They dump a whole lot of 'not my fucking job' on me and then when I get more staff in the kitchen later in the day and I tell them what needs to be done, they just ignore me and double up the prep we already have while leaving stuff that we're almost empty on undone. Then they complain about how we're running out of the things that I told them we were running out of that they ignored in favour of doing things that weren't required at that time.
No. 7889
So I want to understand computing and modern computer technology and the applied methods and theories.
I am bad at math and logic nor can I program a single line of code.

Do I need this, or do I only need basics to understand HOW it works workflow, structure and results and what kind of thinking his behind those processes? I don't want to exactly code something but understand what is done on a macro level only if it is so interesting I would invest time to dive into the micro level e.g. programming but given my other interests it is unlikely

Any tips on how to achieve that knowledge like books or articles? Or his it useless and can only be understood with extensive skills in math/logic and coding?

As an example I want to understand what deep learning is about and how it affects us and society.
No. 7897
141 kB, 494 × 648
tip: find a book for kids, which explains it all. This particular book isn't for kids, but for a first-second year students. Actually explains everything pretty well. Don't know why they had to put this picture on cover. Highly recommend.
You don't have to understand it all. Modern computing is a wide area and nothing is simple. But it's created as a number of levels and black boxes. So you don't have to understand how everything works, just get it as it is.
I know the guy who worked in google as lead developer in a small team. In his area he was so better than me, basically in all coding, i was feeling as a dumb villager with him. Once he decided to learn hardware programming and his question were on 7 years old kid level. What is this word means, how this works in real life. When i said that its better to use numerous "GOTO" for his solution(blasphemy in the world of high level programmers) he assumed that i am trolling him. I am concluded that is better to be a top specialist in a small area, then to know everything a little as i do.
No. 7902
Good idea with the kids/elementary school book actually.

Yes, specialization is important somehow, you will find a specific knowledge growing which means expanding the borders to other areas just by building upon your already existing knowledge. Yet I want to fuse and cross knowledge which is also quite promising in whatever kind of reward I will get.
Specialization is just what our society is built upon and by now it got quite refined so ofc people like that developer have followed that logic and excel at it exaggerated: functionality perfectly fulfilled which out rules playing/accident. But he certainly will lack knowledge from far away areas which crossed with his own could lead to new thoughts/thinking.

I basically just hold up/favor the principle of interdisciplinarity. Which covers specialization but also tries to avoid getting trapped in blind spots or ending up getting blind sighted for other stuff that seems uninteresting at a first glance.
No. 7911
>I concluded that is better to be a top specialist in a small area

Of course. People who are competent in a specific scientific field like medical appliances, geology, astronomy etc. and at the same time are top tier programmers are a rare breed and can easily bargain for top wages.
No. 7920
28 kB, 512 × 384
I keep having dreams about being back in school.
No, not college, middle school.
Best damn times of my life, even if they were actually miserable and depressive. I crave that sense of childhood peace and innocence that I had a taste of, but was denied.

And I miss my school mates. Not in the sense that I want to meet them, but in the sense that the people they were as kids, the people I knew them as, are gone forever.

I have those consistent locations that I revisit in my dreams, like an idealized, dream-verse version of my memories. The middle school, the peaceful hilly steppe during a road trip, the evening sunlit room where I am sitting as a child, and doing child things, just wasting time and playing with things. There is no sense of time in these places, the moments impressed in my mind stretch out forever, eternal peace.

I am so fucking lonely.
No. 7921
Bad feels are bad, but it's those glimpses of good feels that make me want to kms the most.

Because I know these experiences are something I will never, ever get back, never live through properly, will never have a sense of closure about, will regret and wonder "what if", forever.
No. 7924
46 kB, 657 × 527
I don't even remember much of school tbh. I was too busy drowning in escapism at the time. I have plenty of 'nostalgia' for places and events that never happened in real life though but rather during an escapism binge.
No. 7925
66 kB, 970 × 600
got pretty drunk (Kirmes), talked a lot with the girlfriend of an old schoolmate. they have a young kid. she, for whatever reason, flirted a lot with me. i took her aside; "what the fuck?". she started babbling about some relationship problems. and my drunk mind somehow went "oh, if they not happy, all fine. her decision". and i didn't want to listen to that kinda stuff we kissed a bit (not more) but not for long. maybe my "what the fuck you doing?" before made her rethink that decision tree.


well, prolly they are back to Berlin by now. no idea if i did a good or bad thing there.
No. 7926
Sames actually, I'd have to try really hard to remember most events of my childhood, and those that I do, are the unpleasant ones.

My dreams are less about memories, but more about a sense of "being in a place, experiencing the geist of being". A similar sense to being immersed in a video game. Just this feeling of "realness" of being.

Which is something I don't experience awake. Damn derealization. Awake, everything feels like an arbitrary collection of sensory inputs.

I can't even describe either feeling. The best I can do is "being alive" and "living".
No. 7927
Oh dear, I can relate all too well. I have nostalgia for walking through certain levels in games, but not for anything in the real world during my teenage years. Not even the room or house I lived in.
No. 7929
I actually have the opposite because of my life being shitty. There are several games I can't even look at anymore let alone play because they will instantly make me depressed. Luckily Fallout is not one of them :D
No. 7931
157 kB, 409 × 409
Well tbh, that is the purest form of feel, the feel that is not tainted by requiring faithfulness to the physical.

Makes me wonder of NTs can even feel feels tbh, of if they just channel emotion onto physical platforms.

It's not even necessarily video games. Like I can remember warm, vivid sunsets from my cosy chinese cartoons and even though I've seen some okay sunsets in real life, I know for a fact that the memory I have from that time is definitely not one of the real life ones.
No. 7937
I wanted to buy earphones, but only two shops sold the model I wanted.

One only sold for credit, which you have to visit the bank for, and I didn't want to do that. It's only $10, I don't need to split it for 3 days.

So I called another internet shop, but they were far away, and their delivery to my place was $5.

I said fuck it, and decided to order, but they said the model I wanted is out of stock. I said fine, I'm tired of this bullshit, I'll buy a more expensive model. So in the end it ended up costing me $20.

Worst part, later I found out that the first internet shop actually had an instant buy option, but they hid it away in some UI clutter to trick me into getting credit.

Slightly disappointed, but excited for my earphones tomorrow.
No. 7938
Damn, that's kind of scummy but at least you saw resolution in the end I guess.
No. 7939
Tbh, I'm slightly sour over it because the ones I wanted had a design that appeals to me, but the ones I got are kinda ugly and I'm not entirely sold on them.

But it is what it is.
No. 7940 Kontra
126 kB, 1920 × 1541
Wait, I realized I might be able to cancel the order if I call tomorrow morning.

Nevermind, I'll try to do that and report back.
No. 7942
I mean, if they do the job does it really matter how they look? I know you've spoken about the aesthetics of functionality before.

If it really bothers you that much, then it's worth a shot. No point throwing money at something that will just leave you unhappy.
No. 7943
40 kB, 1000 × 1000
181 kB, 700 × 700
Left is the one I wanted, right is the one I ordered.

It kinda looks like a dildo, and this gimmicky sideways hole is weird. There's also a /mu/ meme about earphones being ear dildos, perpetuated by headphonefags.
No. 7944
Man, I can't wear in-ears. They're so uncomfortable for me. I wear the type that don't actually go into the ear canal.
No. 7945
Maybe I have weird ears or I dunno, but earphones that don't go inside the ear just don't stay on. There's nothing for them to attach to, or my earholes are not the right size.

Dunno. I'll take my ear dildos.
No. 7946
563 kB, 374 × 354, 0:02
My superior ears are fine with both.
No. 7947
Tbh, judging by how many of the stores stock dozens of varieties of those types and very few of the other around here at least, I can only assume that you're in the majority :-D

I actually have the same problem with them falling out as you do with ones that don't go in-ear. Weird.
No. 7951
Ok, I read some reviews and my hunch was right.

The second earphones' gimmicky tip doesn't create a vacuum seal in the ear, which hurts lower frequencies.

The one I wanted not only looks better, but has flat cable (no tangling), and performs better in audio. I wonder why it is the cheaper option tbh.

Gonna cancel my order tomorrow and get the cheaper ones.

Also, my brother is a cunt.
No. 7952
My ears are okay with both, but I still prefer actual headphones. Ever since I switched back to headphones after years of using in-ears, I now feel a sense of superiority whenever I see people with in-ears. Such is the mind, trying to cling to the concept that it's decision are worth something.
No. 7953
I think headphones outside of home are autism tier tbh.
No. 7954
It sounds like she got what she wanted. You know what mothers are like, they want to know they're still desirable but shudder if suggest anything involving their horrifically mangled pasty.

>I wanted to buy earphones, but only two shops sold the model I wanted.

Is this the situation where you've owned the model before and they worked perfectly but now the irreversible pace of capitalism has driven the perfect item to extinction? I hate this, with clothing especially, not only because it’s dumb but because it probably means that I'm an old fart
No. 7956
329 kB, 640 × 425
Almost yes.

I had to buy new earphones because the earphones I used previously re-bought three times, that were perfect for me, are now out of stock everywhere, you can only get them on ebay and amazon I think (long or no shipping)

So now I have to get something that performs and cost similarly, and since my requirements are very specific, finding the right replacement is a bitch.

RIP Sony XBA C-10, was nice knowing you for 4 years.
No. 7957
I've had a 14 fucking hour shift in this internet cafe, I want home god damn it.

How the fuck do the girl cashiers do this? My back hurts and I'm bored out of my mind. Jesus, and they have 24 hour shifts.
No. 7958
270 kB, 721 × 985
1,7 MB, 3855 × 2080
Had my first proper school day this year.
Met my new literature teacher, the new German teacher, and the new librarian.
The literature teacher seems to know more than the previous one, a whole lot more. She started by quoting the Epic of Gilgamesh. I was honestly surprised. Not only honestly, but pleasantly. I have high hopes that I'll be able to perform well on the abitur with a teacher like this.
The new German teacher also knows Russian, and said she can help me with my translations, since she used to work at a publisher as a corrector for German. This should come in handy during my next project.
The new librarian seems fine. I told her about some of the traditions the previous librarian held, and some issues with both the collection and some of the equipment we have.
I like being a student. I like being there. Speaking with people there feels like a therapy session. It feels like they are interested in my projects and my future endeavours, which is nice, I don't want to feel alone.
The first week will be a bit lax, since the facultative classes aren't arranged yet, so I'll have 4 classes off. From the week after next week on, I'll have those classes too. I've picked History and Hungarian Grammar & Literature. Most of my classmates picked English, Math or Informatics. I stand alone, yet again.
Honestly, it's just feels nice to be "back in business".
Another thing I've found out is that while my PC isn't strong enough to play the episodes of Three Kingdoms I've downloaded, my phone is. The only issue is that I'll have to manually add the episodes and then delete them off, because they are too large. What a shame. I should read the books first. Read some of the first volume, and I'd say I wasn't ready to appreciate something like that a year ago. I'm ready now.
Over all, a pretty fine day.
Also got the books in the mail I've bought with my first pay-cheque.
I already read some of the Japanese book, really weird. Got interested in it because it's contemporary literature and the premise of colloquial speech seemed interesting. I've experimented with similar things myself.
And I thought if I'm going to read dubliners for the third time, I deserve a proper copy, so I spent extra on a hardcover.
But I've got Soul Mountain to finish first.
No. 7959
What? Nobody has 24h shifts. What dystopian world do you live in?

Also: I was meaning to meditate and pretty much immediately fell asleep for the next 25 minutes. I guess I needed that. Slept well, time to make diner :DDD
No. 7960
My brother is ans evil capitalist.

He has two cashiers, they alternate in 24h shifts :-DDDD
No. 7977
That sounds like a stupid capitalist rather than an evil one. People can work 4 hours at a time, 6-8 hours max, before they are tired and reduced to very low percentages of productivity.
No. 8016
Tbh, their jobs consist of putting money into the box and turning the computers on.

They're just an interface between the client and the computer, a glorified button.

So they don't need to do anything but sleep, and turn on a computer once in a while.
No. 8021 Kontra
But Genosse Ernst!
Every capitalist is both evil and stupid!
No. 8030
1,7 MB, 2204 × 3920
Check out what I just got in the mail. I've been waiting for this book to arrive for a month and I am excited to finnaly be able to read it. This will make a great addition to my de Gaulle collection.
No. 8031
No. 8032
I'm being followed around by another weirdo who went to the same mental ward as me (at separate times).
He's obviously fucked in the heda and I'm his only "friend", but I don't like him. He's an egotistical narcissist with megalomania, which causes him to be a friendless cringelord, who, nonetheless, tries to present himself as some playboy hyperchad, when in reality he's an assclown.

I pity him and would like to help him, but it's really grating trying to make company and help someone who acts like (or believes that) he's the one helping me out with my schizo problems and acting as older brother/mentor when in fact, it's the opposite.

I'm not sure if I should tell him to fuck off or keep up the facade. He's an unpleasant person overall, tbh.
No. 8033
72 kB, 1200 × 870
>re-bought three times
>four years
i bought these fuckers some ~6 years back. they were around 120€. the "normal" in-ears do not fit with my ears. i need those silicon forms; they are easy to change and cheap to replace. (those are the first things to break)

how much did you spend for your earphones over the years? maybe it's cheaper to buy good stuff ones in the long run?
No. 8038
54 kB, 645 × 505
They weren't bad, it's just that I'd accidentally tear them or lose them.

They were cheap, but also sounded really nice, and were very light. Most importantly, they had a frequency response curve I liked (slight bump in midbass, no harsh highs), and knew the measurements of.

I'm kinda autistic about audio, I don't like buying something I don't know the measurements of.
It's like 20 USD * 2 (second time I didn't really re-buy them, just exchanged for free under 1 year warranty).

For a $20 buck earphone that satisfies all my audio needs, it was a great buy and served me well tbh.
No. 8045
The cheap xiaomi phone I ordered didn't came today because there were no black ones, only gold and rose gold.

I don't want a girly phone, so I had to agree for them to deliver it in 2 days when it's back in stock. Fugg dis.
No. 8050
>rose gold
ghetto tier
I'd buy rose matte though.
No. 8112
God damn it they sent me the wrong fucking earphones.

Jesus fuck.

Also, I played a bit of GTA 5 on the playstation at my brother's internet cafe.
How the fuck do people play shooting games with a gamepad? It's fucking impossible. Feels like I'm aiming with a steering wheel.
No. 8147
105 kB, 640 × 640
Kissing in public must be prohibited.
In my opinion society is oversexualized itself. This needs to be stopped.
No. 8148
I agree. Not only does it oversexualize the society, but also devalues and trivializes the kiss as a way of expressing affection.
No. 8149
629 kB, 792 × 486
I just wish people would touch less in general. The casual invasion of personal space, especially mine, by society bothers me. Also when people heckle me for money on the street like I'm some kind of ATM. Violation of personal space and the NAP tbh.
No. 8156
98 kB, 1456 × 896
Never buying anything from local retailers again.
It's aliexpress now.

They have the wrong picture in the catalogs and no refunds, I have to wait 2 days for my phone arrive.
I didn't want to wait a month for the headphone and smartphone, but next time I'll just order from china.

No. 8157
That weirdo dumbass obsessed with me called me again, wants me to visit him for BBQ and shit.

I don't want to go to, but he sounded desperate, said he called everyone and nobody wants to go.

I regret the day when I decided to engage in a conversation with him, since that day he has latched on to me like wet toilet paper.
No. 8164
62 kB, 604 × 403
The first week is almost over.
Had my first ever Ethics class. We compiled news headlines, and examined if they are positive or negative. The teacher was really neutral.
>Two Russians detained in Estonia because they might be spies
>"Well, you could consider this either negative or positive"
I still have my feels. Maybe I'm fearing for my views, even if a lot of them are not political in nature.
I also found the "lost" copy of the Nibelungenlied at the library. It wasn't lost. It was just up on a really high shelf with other books that were printed by the same company in the series.
Wrote a letter to the retired librarian, since we've been looking for it since the end of last years first term. It was one hell of an adventure.
This is going to be a really easy year I think.
No. 8169
48 kB, 330 × 250
Now that's the humiliation. I am sick for the past two weeks. Everything is fine, except that mine stomach is in pain. They told me i got stones earlier, but further analysis denied that. Today doctors did a colonoscopy, probe up to my ass. Everything is fine again.
>Dude, you just nervous, just relax
No. 8170
Christ, this is really good. I love Deus Ex music remixes more than any other type of music however I have to warn you about the fact that listening to this makes you want to reinstall the game.

No. 8183
Talk incessantly, complain like there job is super complicated, do no actual work unless forced, flirt with potential customers and facebook 70% of the time, although now they usually play games or use other social apps on their phone.
It can actually work with three or more thots talking while they are working, but I digress.
No. 8185
Just beat him like you beat your father.
No. 8186
So to get a sick day in HK, all you need to do is visit a Dr wait time is about 2 hr in total and pay 25-50e to get a 3 day sick note, 3 days is the max, I only required one.
He gave me about 50 tablets, I took not a single one.
Interesting, However general wait time is 1 hr to see a doctor much improvement from 3 weeks to see a GP, or 3-4 hrs in a walk in clinic or ER, walk-ins tend to not see a doctor anyway.
Only reason I need to see a doctor is for tablets, oh well 33e well spent.

My own diagnostics was insomnia from alcohol withdrawals.
No. 8187
I have thought about that.

But he's fucking crazy, he might shove a knife in my kidney next time I see him.
No. 8188
Also, even though I got the wrong earphones, they're actually pretty good. I'll keep them.

Maybe order a different pair off aliexpress.
No. 8214
Got my passport photos today. I look like a serial killer and/or terrorist. Seems like a great look for my travel papers tbh.
No. 8218
You and me both.

It must be the bored, indfferent eyes. My schizo US penpal also once posted his mugshot, and you could immediately tell he was schizo.

It was the lack of any narrative in the photo. When normies take selfies, they try to frame it in some kind of story ABOUT themselves. "Look how cute I am", "I am at the park", etc.

When a schizo like me or him takes a photo, we do it solely to convey the geometry of our face. No narrative, just pure data of what our faces look like. I suspect it's because schizos have depersonalization, and don't feel emotionally connected to their bodies. They don't think their body represents them, what represents them is their internal world. So in taking such a photo, he literally objectified his body.

His body, to him, was not symbol for his identity, but rather an object that his identity happens to occupy.

Such cases.
No. 8221
It is kind of ebin, I have prominent dark circles under my eyes and one eye is apparently noticably higher on my face than the other. Combine it with a bear that is trimmed short but not tidy and what is actually to me a more piercing look, and you have Ausama bin Sick Cunt.
No. 8222
I also have dark circles under me eyes, and one of my upper eyelids sags compared to the other one, giving a creepy vibe.
No. 8223
Has your portrait career also gone school shooter->hobo->domestic terrorist? Judging by our similar photo settis, I hazard a guess at yes :-DDD
No. 8224
I oscillate between the three depending on my level of hairiness.
Shaved, short hair - psycho killer
Long, greasy hair, unkempt beard (like right now) - hobo
Short hair, beard - ALLAHU AKBAR
No. 8225
I know that feel. I think it has more to do with hair type though and probably the wrong skull shape or something. It is also increasingly tempting to wear a yamulke around strangers just because I like the complete efficiency of dealing with the balding question. I cannot think of any better solution than a kipa. Shaving is not an option. Unless I find a way the hobo/terrorist look can work in a career. Cult leader sounds decent.
No. 8226
6 kB, 259 × 194
54 kB, 1326 × 1368
Bald with long hair is an underrated style.
It has that "I don't give a fuck" vibe.
No. 8227
I work with a a middle-aged metalhead who is bald but wears a beard down to the top of his sternum. Breddy cool look tbh.
No. 8321
Was he as metal as this? https://youtu.be/linB7C5TmCs?t=874
No. 8366
97 kB, 1312 × 984
1,1 MB, 1066 × 1417
pure alphaness
No. 8551
Ist das Schnurer? Nicht sicher wie ich mich darüber fühlen soll, den zu erkennen ._.
No. 8553
89 kB, 700 × 1000
>Nicht sicher wie ich mich darüber fühlen soll, den zu erkennen ._.

Sehr, sehr gut.