Thanks. Schizo existentialism is something I think about a lot.
Being schizo is a state of ultimate loneliness. Even if physically adjacent, one is never with or among people, only outside. Or rather, inside, with everyone else being outside. It's like a ten ton waterfall of TV static separates my mind from my body, and my body from the world. You can never truly socialize when other people simply don't exist as... beings. Just bodies, shapes, sounds, actions. Events are contextless, meaningless, following one another without cause or reason. It's a special kind of anxiety to be surrounded by a world that you can not give any meaning to. Everything seems so abrasive, empty, distant. You can never feel safe among others, because you can not reach an understanding of what they might be thinking about at any time. The cause of that is the inability to humanize them. And one who can't humanize others, feels inhuman himself. For to humanize yourself, means to look at yourself through the eyes of the Other, and see yourself human, as they would. (t. Heidegger). I suppose "humanity" in this case, would be "meaning" but applied to people. The ability to see something as more than their sensory presence.
So I withdraw to the inside, to where events have reasons, and words and images mean something, everything is connected some way (like during psychosis). Unlike physical reality, which is just a barrage of sensory inputs and series of events that go on and on without climax, conclusion or end. Contact with reality is incredibly distressing to a schizo. More than anything they hate intrusions into the comfort and privacy of their being.
Like that time when I was peacefully enjoying the smoke dancing up from a burning pile of leaves, and two old menopausal bitches enforced themselves into my awareness, uninvited.