/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

Currently at Radio Ernstiwan:

Hail Odin! by Christenklatscher666


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No. 82557
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I will green text this, because it eases the pain

>be me returning to my trusty Peugeot with 16 cans of lager
>an American Goblina ambushes me
>I know her to see her, she is a former drone operator turned hippy
>I always try to avoid her
>something about her always repulses me
>her gesticulations are completely alien
>her fake facial expressions make me lean back away from her like she is something else wearing the face of a human
>her over the top mouth movements trigger uncanny valley reflexes
>I make excuses because I know she lives next door to Jimmy
>she has some olive looking skin, someone told me she is half Iranian and the other half is Goblina admixture
>I often wonder why she would remotely fly drones against her own kind, but then I remember that the American knows no loyalty
>I smile and assure her I will visit Jimmy soon and to tell him I was asking for him
>she looks at me with crazy eyes, I can't remember her name, I always called her Goblina in my head
>I start the engine of the car, the shitty diesel engine with 300,000km on it drowns out whatever she is saying
>I stick her in reverse and start backing out of the spot as she continues screaming at me with her eyes

These people are demonic EC, there is no other explanation
No. 82558 Kontra
What a story, Thicc Mick. Fuck you for throwing shade on the Persian diaspora, though.

Also, why post this on EC of all places? As much as you complain fiercely about Kohl, this thread would be much more at home there or at least bernd.group than here.
No. 82559
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>posting on kohl
I make like 4 posts a month across all imageboards, most are on EC
No. 82560 Kontra
Point being, the quality of this OP would be much more at home on places where shitposting like this would be in better spirits. Seeing this stink up the front page feels dirty. Hell, even yli would be a better place for this thread.

Beyond that, what else is new in your world?
No. 82561
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So you think EC is above such posts? have you looked at the today thread recently? There's a lot of shitposting and schizoposting happening there so what's the harm in a little bit of funposting from time to time?

Besides this really happened today, she freaks me the fuck out. She's like a lizard wearing a human suit or something
No. 82562 Kontra
>So you think EC is above such posts?

Of course not, but generally, they aren't OPs. The only thread I remember that was baitier than this was the one made by that Brazilian who stirred the pot over St. George Floyd. That drew predictable responses from the usual suspects, one of who doesn't post anymore. In any case, this thread is bait, and sadly, I'm taking it.

>have you looked at the today thread recently?

I don't bother with the Today thread unless something going on in my life was worth sharing. Going to the Highland Games a couple weeks ago was the highlight of my September. Since that time, I haven't checked.

>There's a lot of shitposting and schizoposting happening there so what's the harm in a little bit of funposting from time to time?

I don't mind shitposting, but you know you're being inflammatory. Baiting this hard generally is frowned upon here, and there's a standard of conduct expected of users.

Also, stop acting like you still don't post on Kohl. You were there mere days ago with Maserati content.
No. 82563
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>I don't mind shitposting, but you know you're being inflammatory
This actually happened, it's a true story and I'm not baiting anyone. Americans in Ireland are like this, they're like caricatures of human beings
>Also, stop acting like you still don't post on Kohl. You were there mere days ago with Maserati content.
That was my first post on kohl in 6 weeks because I was drunk, sue me

Also stop being a backseat moderator, you're ruining my comfy thread
No. 82564
To make this cozy, any thoughts on Sam "Candyman" Hyde and his feud with Hasan Piker?
No. 82565 Kontra
No. 82566 Kontra
Why so many responses to a clearly moronic trollopost?
No. 82568 Kontra
It's just me and Thicc Mick exchanging words. Hardly what I call an active thread.
No. 82569
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Would you visit Jimmy if he didn't live near Goblina? Also, who is Jimmy?
No. 82570
My guess: Girl is traumatized from her job and trying to be social and open, but she can't pull it off because she's dead inside, so it looks and feels fake.

Also, stop being so racist and judgemental, you sound like a giant asshole.
No. 82571 Kontra
>There's a lot of shitposting and schizoposting
Schizo here. Your post is worse, and you decided to make it a thread. Now stop stinking up the board.
No. 82572 Kontra
You should try not to take everything at face value, or reply to obvious trolly shitpost threads, it makes you look a bit "behind", if you catch my drift (hint: you probably don't).
No. 82573 Kontra
>Also, stop being so racist and judgemental, you sound like a giant asshole.
It must have been the exact intent in the first place.
No. 82575
>I had to interact with an American today
Oh the horror, hope you're alright. Way to ruin even a perfect day.
No. 82582 Kontra
People who use kohl accuse others of being kohl :DD
I am the single uncorrupted posted, I have never even posted there once. I am the only untainted Ernst. and yet I must shitpost
No. 82585 Kontra
I told you to come here when you kept calling everyone on Kohl gulag fodder. Don't act like you're above posting there either.
No. 82586
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I have no opinion on ecelebs
I should visit him anyway, he's been very sick lately and just got out of a 3 month stint in the hospital. He took the jab then got leukemia 3 months later.
She's hyperactive and hyperfriendly, it's uncomfortable to be in her presence so she's doing it wrong.

There's literally nothing wrong with being a racist btw, it's the human being's natural state to some degree
Seriously why are Germans so joyless in everything?
>Nein! stop having fun
Good for you internet elite, all imageboards are garbage these days so I laugh at people who think they are above others by the websites they visit.

However I will admit Kohl is the bottom of the barrel and I stopped going there 6 months ago, except for the odd drunken visit every few weekends
No. 82591 Kontra
It wasn't me
t. imageboard elite
No. 82594
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This is the best thread we've had on EC for months.
No. 82600 Kontra
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Yet another European life ruined by American small-talk.
Gitler could have prevented this.
No. 82626 Kontra
> She's hyperactive and hyperfriendly
As if something bad...
No. 82637
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Is Goblina single?
No. 82662
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No I heard she's married but I've never seen her husband, I think he might be a middle eastern guy? Or just an American admixture
No. 82749
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Christ, you just reminded me of a goblina I used to have a crush on. She was a friend of my ex, her mother was German and her father was a black American GI who had been stationed over there (sometimes the memes really are true). She was tall, leggy, very beautiful and - because she was American - loud. So loud I found her distinctly annoying at first and took a dislike to her, but she was very fond of me and always seemed to chase me down a bit socially. Americans cannot truly understand what effect that accent has on a buttoned-down middle-Englander. Every time I was around her it was like talking to a brash, gregarious porn star, and over time I became infatuated - pic very much related. Maybe I should look her up since I heard her engagement fell through, and in time I could raise a tribe of gobby goblinas of my own.
No. 82782
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You live in the land of sassy black english gfs and you want an American Goblina? I wouldn't do it m8 do you really want to listen to that loud obnoxious accent every day, they hateboners will only last so long.

I'll always remember a buddy of mine went to the states and when he comes back he said
>you cannot comprehend the hornyness of American girls man, it's on a different level
>but after 3 weeks of it I really had had enough of the noises the make