/int/ – No shittings during wörktime
„There is no place like home“

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No. 9144 Systemkontra
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What are you going to suffer today?
No. 9146
188 kB, 1440 × 900
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I found a ruby whistle. R8 and subscribe kill me
No. 9147
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Finished reading one of the epic poems that were given up as schoolwork.
Surprisingly short, surprisingly mediocre. I just don't get that epic feeling from it. It's just a novella in verse form basically. Like Yevgeniy Onegin.
Still, I value it a tiny bit more than the last time I was forced to read it.
My quest for a good national epic continues.

Didn't do much today. Cleaned the room a bit, and lazed around.
My cold is finally gone. Which is nice.

I'm thinking about freeing up more shelfspace from my old videogame for my books. Maybe create a section for epics, since I now have quite a few. Or just freeing up space in general.

I'll have to write an e-mail to the head teacher tomorrow to ask about the date of the extra history classes I've signed up for. (In a similar manner how I took literature as a faculty)
Turns out, I was the only person in my class who choose History. Which I consider weird, because it's a mandatory exam subject. Not to mention history is fun too. Guess it'll be a small group, depending on the amount of people who took it as a subject from the classes running parallel from mine.

Also spent some time watching anime, and a considerable amount of my time was spent on listening to Mahler and other composers' works.

Sometimes I think my life is empty. But then again, it could be a lot more emptier if I think about it. Does my life sound empty based on my posts?
No. 9152
Okay, sorry if you hate this post. I was writing with a girl since about 4 months. It all started out as something sexual but then it somehow hsppened that we actually became friends and even more than that, including romantic shit. Now last noght I was drunk and completely lost my shit. I (idiotically) asked her if she would love me and shit like thst which wasn't even partiucarily necessary. We really just had a good relationship like that. Now I feel like a compmete asshole as I'm slowly sobering out because she really is mentally weak and I made her to think about decisions she usually wouldn't think about (inb4 she id just an attention whore: she really, really id mentally ill. Not in the way we are talking about assburgers here but in a way that she can't control.)

Now the final problem: I hoped for a romantic relationship but in our last chat in came out that she didn't saw this in ojr relationship.

Christ, I want to die already.
No. 9153
Shit, shit, shit.
Why do I feel so bad for saying what I feel? Maybe because as an somewhat intelligent human being I might have had realized that she is mentally ill (not saying this as an insult) and that she mostly talked to me most of the time because she was somewhat enchanted by the way I treated her, which she has never witnessed before. I am a monstrosity and I want to die.
No. 9154
> she really, really id mentally ill.
> in our last chat in came out that she didn't saw romantic relationship in ojr relationship
Problems weren't

Although, this is the problem with fucking random strangers and one small part of the reason I don't generally do a thing like that even when drunk. God forbids.
No. 9155
I am told the shops are closed, because of typoon and I only have one can of beer left.
Acid reflux due to taking codeine with alcohol, should have stuck with tramadol.
No bacon :(
I kinda fucked up thinking typoon would begin at 12pm on a Sunday, but they started to close everything at 1am, bretty comfy being in a storm.
No. 9156
It's been a while since I had an early morning walk in utter darkness. It was nice. Didn't see a single person on the street during my way towards the trees.
Also it was just 9°C and I could my coat for the first time since april or so. I love wearing that coat :3

Now I'm doing the dishes while listening to an audio book (a habit I started about two months ago) and after that... well I actually feel like cooking.
No. 9158
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I must go mushroom hunting for my mycology course
No. 9159
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It was a really good idea to cook. Instead of watching some video while eating, I just sat on the balcony looking over the city, huddled in warm clothes, concentrating on the marvellous taste of what I had just cooked.
Few experiences are so rewarding.

Now I'll play some Quake 3 for ~10 minutes to start my streak of concentration and then begin to work on my uni project (with a bit of dread), followed by some work for my job (looking forward to that, it's really fun currently).

Today could be a good day, if I don't fall into one of those heffalump traps during my stroll through the day (eg. wasting hours watching porn).
No. 9160
237 kB, 601 × 601
>codeine and beer in the middle of a typhoon
Fuck, that is comfy
No. 9162
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Having a bad hangover. Fuck, I wish I would still get along with speed. The hangover went at least without headache. Feels like I have some concrete block penetrating my brain right now actually since a few hours. And I'm to lazy to finally eat something. Even worse I don't have any painkillers at home and it's sunday.

Hopefully I will be motivated to prepare fatty hangover food soon and chase away the headache by eating it.
No. 9168
Not bad. The colors of the pub should be the sames as the board's colors tho.
No. 9170
1,8 MB, 64 pages
When are you going to start meditating Ernst?
No. 9174
Keep an eye out for faeries. And magic mushrooms :DDDD
No. 9175
>It's been a while since I had an early morning walk in utter darkness
I started going on early morning(before the sun comes up) walks about a year or so ago. Now I find them so much better than daytime walks that if I sleep past 5am I feel like I've missed the best part of the day.
>Does my life sound empty based on my posts
Not at all.
No. 9177
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Psilocybe cubensis can range through the Mid-Atlantic states however it is more common in the American South and Mexico.

Here is something I found on Friday. At first I thought it was a slime mold because I'm a noob but in fact it's certainly a jelly fungus and probably something in the genus Tremella aka "Witch's Butter" :DDDDD
No. 9184
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Eating fried pelmeni.
No. 9185
>I started going on early morning(before the sun comes up) walks about a year or so ago. Now I find them so much better than daytime walks that if I sleep past 5am I feel like I've missed the best part of the day.

Sames. For over two and a half years now I haven't slept past 7am when at home (except for a few occasions where I was sick). Most of the time I wake up between 5 and 6, stumble out of bed, dress up and 10 minutes later I'm outside taking a deep breath.
No. 9186
15 hours without booze.
Based capitalist society, can still buy beer :)
10 hours of storm signal 10, to not leave your house.
Went for a little walk, lots of felled trees.
No. 9187
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Got the date for my extra history classes.
It'll be on Mondays in the first two class-slots.
Which is nice, because this will allow me to go home early on Fridays. I'll only have three classes on Fridays this way.
Which is very nice imho.

Wonder how many people will be in the History class. It's be sad if I were the only one out of all the classes.

I shrugged off my cold. Now I'm coughing like if I were a smoker.
Let's hope that tomorrow is a fine day.
No. 9188
I shall buy a pack of pelmeni tomorrow and have as lunch or diner. Last time has been half a year ago or so.
No. 9189
1,9 MB, 3264 × 1836
Awesome! I had home made chicken nuggets with teriyaki sause. Sad that without potato kotlet, I'am not good at making those
>diner. Last time has been half a year ago or so.
I can only dream about have dinner only once per half tear. For some reason I want eat at lest once per day.
No. 9214
My step-mother is so hot. I can't stand it.
No. 9222
>I can only dream about have dinner only once per half tear.

why? too poor? I see you have some Heinz sauce.

I will pay 3.5€ to have pelmeni, chives and sour cream and it will be enough for two meals
No. 9225
Tomorrow night I think I'm going to use a chuck steak I have in my freezer for some beef and botato curry. It's basically an Australian staple food at this point and from what I've seen it's not too dissimilar to what the poms do too. Meat, onion, botato, a can of tomatoes and some curry powder. It's been pretty chilly here and I could use the comfort food tbh.
No. 9226
>280 roubles
>enoigh for two meals
Either you have cheap food, or I eat a lot, or both. You can't get neither good meat pelmeni, nor good sour cream.
No. 9227
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Today is a good day.
Feeling happy, and doing work.
Funposting on my lunch hour

Sort of disappointed I've been procrastinating on language and history studyings.
No. 9230
The pack of frozen, ready-made pelmeni with turkey or pork meat is 400g or 500g and 2.5€ they are made in Germany by some company named Dovgan

200g of sour cream is around 0.5-0.7€ prices for cream and butter have surged a bit over the last year or so and I rarely buy sour cream, cheapest normal cream here is 0.7€

I suspect plastic packed chives to be around 0.5€

So all in all 3.5-4€ which is two meals with around 200-250g of pelmeni. I don't eat big but unhealthy and one sided compared to what might be possible and healthy.

Germany also has the cheapest grocery prices in all of western Europe it is said.
No. 9233 Kontra

I payed 3.53€ for it all and it is 500g of pelmeni.

I will read a text by Fredric Jameson for my paper, at least part of it. The sun is shining but I will just stay indoors as nearly all last weeks, read and suffer a bit.
No. 9243
Whooping 5 people took history as a faculty from the student body.
Teacher asked what we wanted to do. The only girl in the group wants to study Japanese when she is admitted into a university.

I also spent ~two Euros on used books today on the way home. Got Carpenter's Gothic by William Gaddis and the other is Gruppenbild mit Dame by Heinrich Böll. The former I know I should be reading in English, but it was a good looking hardcover with nice paper for less than a Euro. The latter, well, I don't know if my German is up to the task. I'll stick to novellas for now.

Only ~150 pages left of Soul Mountain. Pretty nice book. I glad I was gifted with it.

Also had a "short" quiz of 19 questions in literature class, which I didn't know about. Still, I only didn't know 1 question.
The teacher said she "missed me". Well, "being missed" isn't the same in Hungarian as in English. It's more like how she noticed I was absent and considered it a setback.
Still, it feels nice that people remember my existence. Sometimes I doubt anyone would miss me if I were to just disappear.
No. 9248
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Since today drivers in Moscow public transport periodically announce something like "I, Ivan Ivanov, such and such driver, greet you and desire you a nice trip and a good day".
Such cases.
No. 9261
Reading about it the signs are really strong that I am bi-polar, what am I going to do now?
I heavily distrust psychiatry and I feel like the meds they'd prescribe me would make everything just worse, I don't want to numb my mind but the suffering is barely endurable anymore and I don't know what to do. I have a bottle of liquor in my fridge but it wouldn't help shit. Usually when this kind of thing happens that is happening now I just wait and take a walk and lay in bed until it's over but right now it is so strong because of some external reasons too (I indulged in an unhealthy obsession for way too long and now as I see everything falling apart it all comes back on me) and I really don't know what to do. The rational thing to do would probably be to wait until it's over and maybe visit a psychiatrist the coming week but I can't. Madness cries for more madness, it cries for getting completely shitfaced and only falling asleep when I can't think anymore. I was talking before about the unhealthy obsessions, they are mostly of romantic and megalomaniac nature with the first being extremely strong. But I feel like this is what keeps me going, it wasn't as extreme until about half a year ago but I felt like this was the turning point at which my life got continually better and I finally felt like everything made sense but now reality is crushing and tearing me apart. What kind of solutions are there? Like I said, fuck the psychiatry, I won't cripple myself even more with prescribed drugs. Living in a monastery for some time? Joining the army? I need a break of all this and I need to learn discipline so I stop wallowing myself in useless dreams and phantasies. A job might even be a good start but it's way harder to get one than I thought (yes, I am talking about low-wage shit jobs, even there are tons of people trying to get into it).
No. 9264
As part of my security vetting I was asked to submit details of someone who can provide a character reference (a professional who knows me that verifies I am who I say I am).

It was all going well until they sent over a form for them to fill out with no return address. So now I have to chase that up. Only after I emailed an enquiries desk the automated reply comes back with the usual spiel that I need to include my name, date of birth and application details to every email otherwise they won't reply.*

But I got this at 9pm. For fucks sake. I can't start work until this is all done but I now realise their later checks on my military history will take months of bullshit if it's anything like this.

*This is a protection built into any organisation involved with Freedom of Information requests (people asking about something by law have to get a reply). The person asking for such information have to identify themselves otherwise some Jonne will email every civil servant asking them what colour their knickers are which would always need an individual reply.

Wait...so they have bus drivers saying all of that at every stop they make?
No. 9265
Why not at least try talking to a medical professional first before you write it off as quackery. They can at least give you some advice.
No. 9270
The sentence could be from a Dostoyevski novel. No, to correct myself I only read the Doppelganger short and I though it is meant to be a rhetoric device, a hyperbole. But it seems like that is usual russian grammar? Or do you make fun of that fact by alluding to one of your national poets?
No. 9275
Maybe I will, but I don't see what help they could offer me besides medication. I'm actually thinking about getting into meditation when most of the stressful stuff I have to do is finished and I can read up on the philosophy behind yoga, maybe it will help. You see, I feel a bit better now. Still empty at heart and somewhat sad but I already feel a sweet taste of melancholy to it. When it's not as extreme as it was before it's not that bad, at least that's what I think when those phases of intense suffering are over. To elaborate on this matter: when it really gets me my body feels heated and I feel an uncontrollable urge to do something destructive, exhausting or creative - I usually choose one of the three options and feel better then, as it is the case now.

It actually made me laugh because reminding me of Gogol. I didn't read Dostoyevsky yet but I have the same feeling as you do. Probably it's a thing in the russian language.

By the way this sounds pretty cosy, I'd prefer a human voice over the computer voices we've got here in Germany. Sometimes I get really angry at this terrible, bizarre fake-voices telling me which bus-stop we're reaching.
No. 9279
>By the way this sounds pretty cosy, I'd prefer a human voice over the computer voices we've got here in Germany

I think the DB trains definitely the red Doppelstockwagen, also known as Regionalexpress(e) still have it. I know the trams and buses in my city, the subway in bigger cities and all private train companies I had to ride with during the last years all had computer voices or have maybe been recorded voices?
No. 9285
I was playing game which I added some music in it. Some musics are too loud so I have to turn the sound a bit some are too quiet so I have to turn up the sound. This sounds like a minor issue but it triggers my autism severely.
No. 9288
Yes I think most DB-trains have human voices, but it's not always the case. In my city at least all busses and trams have a computer voice and I simply think it is dehumanizing to hear this shitty computer voice every day. Privatization of DB was a mistake.
No. 9289
2,2 MB, 640 × 360, 0:50
German tier
No. 9293
>Wait...so they have bus drivers saying all of that at every stop they make?
No, just once or twice an hour, I think.
I didn't intend to, I just translated.
No. 9299
I think it's time to admit that I am retarded.

I don't know why some people assume upon meeting me that I'm some kind of genius, and I've made the mistake of believing them, even if half heartedly.

At best I am an idiot savant, but most likely, I am just an idiot. Marx was right, all is discovered through practice. Only that I've gotten an (easy) job, did I realize that I am actually mentally disabled.

In short, I've been fucking up on the job due to my mental deficits.
No. 9300
Also, I'm also bi-polar, and medication was the best thing that happened to me.

I actually regret listening to quacks on the imageboards and wasting 2 years not taking meds.

I am now retarded, but a functional retard, unlike before.
No. 9301
See, I've always had the suspicion that I'm retarded, but never the Acceptance of being retarded.

The difference is such: if, when you think "I think I might be retarded", your emotional reaction is "boo hoo, I'm retarded, I feel so sad now", (like me in the past) that's not Acceptance. You can't accept something if it makes you feel bad.

Instead Acceptance is this "I think I might be retarded. How do I use this knowledge to help me achieve my goals?". Now that's acceptance.

t. retarded
No. 9306 Kontra
K-o-ko-komu-kohlo--kohlo-holo-holcommaust-kommunitas-koko-kol-k-k-k KOHL-sau?

Couldn't hide your kohl-level? Why not just fuck of, if you cannot contain yourself and argue rightly.
No. 9318
Hah Moscow still have Ikarus 280 buses?
No. 9319
>why? too poor?
Opposite, I have monies. But I eat too often. This was a joge
No. 9320
No, this pic is at least five, if not ten years old. Now there are mostly low floor buses with narrow passage ways.
No. 9321
>low floor buses with narrow passage ways.
oh my god, they are terrible. This passage ways are tiny, and in this buses wheel arcs are giant. And for what purpose it done? To care about disabled people? Nobody care about them anyway. Лиаз-677 interior so much more comfy inside compare to this new low МАЗ buses our city replaced them with.
No. 9330
Lel we produced those.
Budapest still has a few of them in service. Apparently half of the units produced landed in the USSR.
No. 9335
What do you need the vetting for? A few days ago I had to provide the contact details for a personal referee for security reasons too. They said that it can't be an employer though, it doesn't have to be a professional person.

I pretty much have the job but just need to jump through a few more hoops, they have taken absolutely ages. At least getting answers to my questions was easy.
No. 9340
Are you the chemist britball
No. 9341
31 kB, 639 × 634
I still suffer at work. I feel like getting drunk and then throw empty bottles at rich oligarch cunt cars. Best way to spend the night.
No. 9342
Only 13 pages left from my translation, then I'll check for typos, rework it a bit, and I'll present it to a few of my teachers.
I actually managed to work on it in the library. Of course the speed is not the same, but it's still pretty good.
Too bad I'm working in an archaic manner, since I don't have access to a computer in the school libary. (The only one went kaput, the other is used for administration purposes)
So like a good monk, I'm scratching down the text on pieces of yellow paper I've found at home, while sipping tea from my thermos' cap.

I won't be learning Russian at school. The class is held late on Friday Afternoon, and I'd honestly just rather go home on Fridays instead of waiting an extra hour for a class, then spending another one in class.
This puts a bad light on me as a scholar, but I'm also decadent. I want to go home early.

Tomorrow is the first math test, and I'll probably perform terribly. I'm too IQ89 for this stuff. Or rather I'm just not predisposed for it. Last year I spent 3 hours extra a week with a private teacher just to understand the basics.

I'll probably just stick to learning the formulas and then applying them. Hopefully it'll work.
It's such a basic bullshit subject, especially how on the internet I associate with people who are better at realfächer. They tell me this stuff shouldn't pose a challenge at all.

Otherwise, life is fine. Gonna make some tea and then study. Almost done with Soul Mountain. I'll be reading Ortega next. Or that contemporary Japanese novella I got. Probably Ortega.
No. 9344
that feel when can't complete task because too dumb to get acronis true image working

t. spending the night at the office
No. 9345
Civil service and checks are currently at the CTC level. I'm actually surprised you've been able to waive the profession hurdle.

>they have taken absolutely ages

I hear the ideal turnaround time is 6 weeks but goes up to 6 months of DV. You had a 3 hour security interview yet?

Everything I've seen regarding British imageboard users and chemistry tells me he's already OD'd :ddd

Learnu Russian you fool. The two hours will be annoying but what better things do you have to do in that time?
No. 9346
Getting through my commuting.
Taking extra math classes in my hometown.
Yeah. The math thing. I'll need that if I want to have a good exam next year.
No. 9347
224 kB, 600 × 375
Yeah, I know it.

This bus not very ecological and after 20+ years of expluatation they was in very terrible condition - always cold inside them, very noisy, vibrations and smell. I heared some west countries not accepted them because they not matcher ecological standarts even back than.

But fuck, Hungary, thank you for fucking 280. It was only bus type in city that always had free seats. When I was back from school and all other transport was filled with bydlos that you can not even enter them, in this big daddy was always place even to seat. And this back moving part was very fun thing how it moved. After this old buses was removed, I was kinda sad. Now I don't need to ride too long in times of day when busses filled with bydlo, but back than in 00s, Icarus helped me a lot.

Here very old photo of mine street with bus I often used :3
No. 9348
The main thing I have against the old Ikarus buses is that they are dirty. The dust and dirt has been melted into the floors and the seating over the years.
Otherwise I've never noticed if they are noisy or not. Haven't rode one since childhood.
No. 9350
Me also the civil service. I guess the reason they didn't need a professional reference is because I am going in as an fast track apprentice with just A levels, but it's a real job. I have only gone through the online tests and assessment centre, but have already got the welcome email.

Anything you could tell me about the security interview?

I wonder if we'd be working together on bernd type work. What are they paying you?
No. 9354
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Another painful night of misery, and yet again fighting the need to just get hammered. At least I've been somewhat productive today. Deleted all of her contact info so I don't get reminded of my idiocy and shame. I'll have to fight through this hell of a week, so I'll try to get most of my shit done tonight and tomorrow I'll take "a day off" and visit the the public swimming pool the whole day which has never ceased to cleanse my mind and make me feel better. Then at the end of the week I'll get drunk.
Currently posting here is really helping me as I barely want to talk to anyone else about my current state.
No. 9358
I can understand the feel of getting hammered. I choked me feels with amphetamines often enough but in the end at to realize it just does more harm. Keep on resisting and perhaps close the chapter as best as you can.
No. 9364
My alcoholism is mostly under control but in tough times like that it gets more intense. But yes sure, it makes things only worse. Last time I got drunk because of feeling bad (and it was the only time this year) it made shit only much worse and I ended up walking through the streets shitfaced while shouting curses and cries of despair into the emptiness of the night.
Soft opioids are better for this purpose, because they make me feel nothing at all besides a dizzy feeling of bliss and comfort. Obviously they don't help long term but I get back to them once in a while, seems like it's that time again.
No. 9372
I've got mine coming. Joy.

>Would it be worth me networking with you?

Hold fire for now. I'm not going to lie, you'll be more useful to me once you've finished your apprenticeship but we'll exchange emails when we get them.
No. 9378
It's 18 months and I'll be moving around onto the graduate program, but it's a permanent placement. It's just something to keep in storage for a while, plus we might as well get to know the basic characteristics of the other.
No. 9384
>I'll have you banished to the Western Isles.

The Isles actually seem pretty comfy. Is there something bad about them that isn't visible at first sight?
No. 9385
No. 9389
That feel when ended up making curried sausages. My body wasn't ready for a real meal and now I'm having a food coma even though it was a small serving.

Worth it. :-DDD

I wonder if our version is similar to the currywurst I hear Germlings talk about? Eggsberts (not just currywurst pros) pls eggsblain your people's mysterious bydlo home cooking traditions.
No. 9391
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A lot of places seem cosy, but you wouldn't want to spend some time without correspondence there.
No. 9392
>seem cosy
It's seems like the opposite
No. 9394
I think that's what he wanted to say. You know about problems of Magadan and don't think about it as of something cozy or something.
No. 9395
t. imagines the far east in general as a cosy place, even though I'm certain it would be sufferings to live there.
Also I've never experienced a temperature below -7C And -7C was horrible, wouldn't do again
No. 9396
They say Kamchatka or KarafutoSakhalin in general is cozy.
No. 9397
Feels bad wasting over 1k rubles on a subscription to the Foreign Policy magazine. A few hours ago, I remembered reading a couple of their articles back in the early 2010s and realised that FP may very well be a new source of info about the developments on the world stage. However, the paper left me greatly disappointed. Seems like everyone who writes articles there has this viewpoint that the only good political system is the one that exists in the west and that viewpoints which differ from theirs are bad just because they are different. Worst $20 I've ever spent.

The only non-biased articles are the ones that talk about economics
No. 9399
>buing maganzine in 2018
Lol why?

But I know what you mean. I seen some videos from PragerU channel, and they was nice - about iternal USA and europe politics. There was even some non-white narrators who aslo said rational things, and they was actual real left, not "SJW" and it was nice to hear that there still reasonable left in west and not all internationality now turned into some sort of hell. But thier videos about cold war for example or some ones about USSR - it just fucking 50s tier cold war propoganda.
No. 9400
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You get your Currywurst at a proper snackbar and usually don't make it at home.
I don't even know what the sauce is made of, some sprinkle the powder over it others mix it into the sauce.

Currywurst is a Weißwurst with some spicy tomato ketchup? sauce with the powder mixed in or sprinkled over. Sometimes you get some bun to it or you order some fries as addition.

But goddamn now I want a Taxiteller roughly: taxi plate, too bad I live some 50-100km away from the ruhr valley periphery. It's currywurst with gyros (meat) and fries + mayo and sometimes tzatziki.
No. 9401
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There was or still exist emrican town on Sahalin

But vladivastok or khabarovsk or blagoveshensk or birobijan are just averege cities, there nothing bad about that compare to other russian cities and temperatures there more than alright.
No. 9403
>1st image
Tell me, why is that guy such a meme?
When I asked on 4kanker's /deutsch/, they just said "Er ist der Gönner XD"
No. 9405
I think he is a vlogger about cigars, liquor and food but not sure about the latter.

I found him:

He is that kind of euphoric m'lady crossed with wine/whiskey taster etc.
No. 9406
1,8 MB, 320 × 240, 0:04
>Genuss für Geist und Gaumen
>That face mascara
>That bust next to the books
10/10 video. My Geist was well fed.
No. 9407
to be fair his talking does not sound like he is some retard who couldn't find the right words, this is quite common here and even I feel I lack a proper vocabulary when talking, watched some 'young' journalism channel on YT the other day and even there some reporters had trouble to adequately express themselves.

Yet he also seems to be a try hard. But any wine/liquor or any other kind of gusto is funny to listen to because it's foreign to oneself. But yes his whole channel is more Genuss für den Gaumen, als für den Geist :DDD
No. 9408
I think it has to do mostly with his weight and camerawork
Only one angle, so it's less cinematic and looks boring.
Yes, he knows how to speak, but at the same time, he doesn't look like someone high class. It's an old idea and perception of classiness he tries to represent with the cigars and the bookshelf behind him.

His body is also a problem imho because if you are classy, then you'll also try to stay in shape, so that your body also oozes class.

Basically I just repeated what you've said, he looks like a tryhard, but at least he is enjoying himself.
No. 9412
They're just remote (for the UK*) and the locals speak Scots Gaelic while being notoriously old fashioned. Have a guess at how much conversation an Englishman from revenue and customs will get.

*The Orkneys are more remote but the people and location is lovely. They even have a catchy jingle! youtube.com/watch?v=LLS7dXqaFuM

I dunno, I quite like how Stephen Walt gives a realist perspective on things. At least in western media it is surprisingly uncommon to see people so forthright about it.

Although obviously you should cancel while you still can and get yourself a Foreign Affairs subscription. FP can be read online for free anyway.
No. 9418
I see. That's very different to ours then. Ours is cooked sausage and onion which is then simmered in a mix of gravy and curry powder and served on rice. It's not really something you get on the go too. Mysterious German fast food culture is mysterious.
No. 9424
233 kB, 500 × 500
I feel kinda sad and lonely recently. Maybe it is just time of the year? However I always liked grey sky, small rain and yellow leaves. Looks like it just series of small coincedences that together make me feel kind useless and I starting lost any enthusiasm to do anything. Did you ever have feel that for long long time you trying to learn something, become better, do awesome things, and than you relise that you terrible at it, and most probably, you spend your time in your life to nothing?
No. 9425
>Did you ever have feel that for long long time you trying to learn something, become better, do awesome things, and than you relise that you terrible at it, and most probably, you spend your time in your life to nothing?
Yes, it is the natural course of things as long as you are not overly gifted with money, looks or talent (and even those three things can lead to nothing without the right use). The key is to keep doing it, no matter if you think you suck at it or not. I once read (about writing prose though) that actually it is the key to perfection to sincerely start hating your work, hating every detail and trying to become slightly better in it while investing all your energy. For someone who has high aspirations there cannot be just doing/creating something, looking at it and thinking "oh wow, that was great - seems like I'm a natural talent". There must be tedious and long work, perhaps at the end of the day a feeling of bliss when you think it's at least not terribly bad or as bad as other works. This approach is radical and fairly negative at times but I think that's how we can get the most out of us.
No. 9426
I can confirm this. I hate my own works. I hate looking at my writings, and every facet of it is awful, just a pointless sequence of words and letters. No greater understanding went into writing them.
This is why it feels good when people say it’s good and was an interesting read.

Negativity turns everything into a constant uphill battle, and no battle is glorious unless it’s against the odds.
No. 9427
>Negativity turns everything into a constant uphill battle, and no battle is glorious unless it’s against the odds.

Would frame and put on one of my walls
No. 9429
>dat Ernstwurf
No. 9436
29 kB, 630 × 472
Current weather in my region is half cold and foggy, but Sintra fog is pretty noice.
My head settis are slowly deteriorating, but I'm putting a valiant struggle. I blame videogames.
No. 9446

I share your sentiments and experience mostly.

So while this quote is a bit out of context auto didact philosopher talks about his view on it in comparison to going the academical route, he studied engineering I think it it fits right in

>Auto-didacticism is a drudgery, it’s like fighting on multiple fronts while the supply line has been cut off. Nevertheless, in the end—provided you have survived—it can prove more useful in the study of philosophy than academic training insofar as it makes you desensitized against the ephemeral trends. Over time, your philosophy becomes your life, and vice versa. One becomes intellectually insecure, an insecurity that fuels more learning, more work. It is celebrated rather than repulsed. Having dispensed with the cosy academic position, you never settle for anything, whether it is a research trajectory, your position in the landscape of theory or your conception of yourself as a person.

the bold highlights what has been said in other words by the german already and agreed on by hungary and I will also approve it. Tho I don't really try to write prose I write other things and I read a lot and try to understand it in order to use it for writing. And over time these moments occur where one thinks it is all pointless and you will never achieve anything with it and yet you can sense the gradual change and improvement and you just keep going because what else can you do? You either go thru or not. Some people who turn it into "gold" must also be lucky, talent alone won't do anything. So you have to fight on various fronts indeed to get where you want to go.
No. 9448
That picture's really nice. What is the location?

Ehh, it wasn't so bad, but I ended up working like 13 hours yesterday and only had about 12 hours to recuperate. I really don't know how people do stuff like that day in and day out. Although the overtime is worth it.
No. 9449
258 kB, 1200 × 630
Pena Palace, Sintra.

It's neat, it's built on top of the mountain so you can see it from miles and miles around.
It used to be a monastery, but it was turned into a palace by an assburger romanticist German king we had.
No. 9450
236 kB, 1200 × 956
It kind of triggers me when someone paints a perfectly good defensible position in garish colours. It's almost like they want you to have an easy time dialing in the artillery even in hazy weather.
No. 9451

Yeah, I know it. Just sometimes it is TOO MUCH, and you start question yourself is it how it intended to be or you just continuesly hit your head on wall? That with aproaching new "uphil" this new hill smaller than moutians in finland, when by averege standarts all other people already achived everest with same efforts? Well, I guess I need to do something anyway, don't want loose meaning in life.

I thout portugal very sunny. I bet there part of your country where now sun and blue sky without clouds.

Funny thing, right? Maybe one day will try make some sort of banner with this.
No. 9452
269 kB, 1050 × 599
127 kB, 1280 × 720
There is Castelo dos Mouros (Castle of the Moors) across from it. A nice medieval castle that was conquered during the reconquista, the castle itself has no specific date, since its believed to have grown from possibly even prehistoric fortifications. Archeological studies show that there used to be something similar to a small village where the castle resides. Possibly a form of castro.

Ultimately, Sintra doesn't particularly have any significant defensive value. The sealine is marked by steep cliffs which would make an amphibian landing unfeasible, whilst any invasion from a certain power that borders Portugal wouldn't take Sintra since it is past Lisbon.

The castle itself stopped being used as a fortification around the 14th century, as less and less people lived in the mountains, and Sintra's lower area grew. Any Spanish military force taking the castle in the time since would have just tired itself out climbing a mountain past Lisbon for no good reason.
No. 9454
>One becomes intellectually insecure, an insecurity that fuels more learning, more work.
I think the contrast to this is a variety of professors I had in college who were too secure in their thinking and in their relationships with other professors. In a sense their community and profession encourages them to produce papers, books and research and almost inevitably causes them to seek to the become experts in a needle like segment of a subject, and fall in love with the sounds of their own voice or smell of their own shit to be vulgar about it.

This one was obsessed with the EU and it becoming a post-Westphalian State which would essentially be like a federated state akin to the US, this was around 2010 and obviously that seems way farther away now than ever and an absolute pipe dream at this point.
No. 9455
I've rarely encountered people who I could compete with.
If someone is older than you and they have been working within a filed for decades, then there is nothing to be ashamed of, or even if they are your equals in age, work with them, befriend them. Their knowledge can help you later. A friendship is always beneficial.
No. 9456
Classic academia fosters this because once a professor you are safe in payment and thus less challenged from outside, even tho intellectually it is a wrong move. You then work within academia as quite a closed system that is not prone to be innovative tbh as far as I heard and read.

Yes, at least a form of dialog would be good. Asking questions instead of feeling miserable about the fact that somebody seems to be more educated than oneself.
Even between students that would be good. It seems quite combative to me: who is the most intelligent, who knows all the theories and interconnections and processes. It would be good, when we ask each other and would be ready to give explanations of what seems unclear to others, because often times this reveals that your own thoughts might not be as clear as you initially thought they are. Both will benefit from a dialog which is not the same as some typical imageboard or comment section shitshow
No. 9460
133 kB, 250 × 250
Had a pretty nice day overall.
10 pages to go from my translation. It'll be finished by next week. By the end of the year I'll be finished with it.
Feels good.

Only had two classes proper today. Pretty lax overall. I don't consider "Ethics" and "Homeroom" to be proper classes, why should I?

On homeroom we went out for a lemonade with the class. The vice principal went along with us. It was pretty nice, sitting at the bank of the Danube, eating a lángos.

Everything just feels right. It's like my life is finally in shape and I know what I'm doing.

Also wrote an email today to the retired librarian, but it got lost because of a connection error. Which makes me feel morose. I write in this almost Victorian style and I just feel too lazy to re-type it. But on the other hand, writing a shorter, more direct email would feel disrespectful. I don't even know why I write in this overly archaic and literary manner. Perhaps because such texts are my only reference points when it comes to writing my own.
No. 9466
>I don't even know why I write in this overly archaic and literary manner. Perhaps because such texts are my only reference points when it comes to writing my own.
I have pretty much sames since I'm quite an enthusiast when it comes to german romanticism. It mostly comes subconsciously, I never try to do it this way. It's not a bad thing at all though in my opinion. Many german (mostly reactionary) writers from the 20's and 30's reclaimed older words because of their beauty and tradition. However when it comes to translation things might be a bit more difficult as the translator always has to chose or rather think about if he wants to write his own interpretation of the original work in his language or a literal reproduction of the original work. For example german translators in the early 20th century usually tended to the first option: translatig Faulkner they would usually make his prose more readable and accessible than in the original, knowing that the access to a lot of what he wrote was deeply enrooted in understanding the english language he wrote in. Faulkner's translators of today though tend to do the latter thing: translating the prose literally so that it often reads wrong and unreadable, just to stay close to the original because they think it would be more authentic this way. Similiar thing with Dostoyevsky, early german translators tended to make his prose more "artsy" and complex as his origal text supposedly often were more simple and street-like, so today's translators translate in a more vulgar way. However I can't judge on this case, as I never read anything by him. Just to illustrate the problems and discussioms coming up with translations.
No. 9467
And this is what it's all about. Finding the balance.
My first try at translating was the former. A single experiment, because I wanted to see the language in action, how it would perform.
So after reading some of the Peril of Sziget and reading parts of a translation of the Art of War[/] by Sun-zi in the style of the aforementioned medieval epic, I realized that there is more to this than going from language A to language B. You can also play with the style. So I quickly translated a few episodes of the space opera anime [i]Legend of the Galactic Heroes. I wanted to create an archaic sounding subtitle. I even gave it the funny archaic title Rege a tejút hőseiről or Sage von die Helden der Milchstraße if I want to put it into German, just to illustrate it.(However broken that German might be in practice)
Of course I was inexperienced at the time and turned out somewhere between good-mediocre and downright awful because of my unnatural sentence structures.

Me writing in a literary form also comes from the fact that I'm strictly polite when speaking in real life too. Whenever someone is older than me, I address them with the polite form of the language.(German has it too, just imagine calling everyone Sie)
It's a form of defence and respect at the same time. A respectful man is sympathetic and I live off other people's sympathy, if anything, really.
And I can actually pull the style off, which really is something.
No. 9520
985 kB, 2327 × 2980
Slept in the afternoon for 5 hours.
Went to the doctor. Apparently I'm healthy.
Been listening to lo-fi stuff. Feels pretty sad, but it's a pleasant kind of nostalgic melancholy.
Also went out to eat with the family.
No. 9523
While listening to a video about weak/strong adjectives in old norse and looking up wikipedia about adjectives and adverbs in English and German I had a sudden realization that language is but a function of the rules learned by neural networks that are trying to communicate with each other.

Also, I'm sitting here in my living room, looking through the window front to the horizon (over a city) while the sun goes up, listening to the entracing chants of Wardruna while glancing at my Laptop from time to time... life is actually pretty good; all stress is artificial and most of it not even intrinsic but extrinsically forced upon me.
No. 9528
20 kB, 680 × 179
Oyan kirpish, you good m8? Ain't seen you in a bit.
No. 9529
that kind of lofi?

I finally got my ass up early second day in a row. Hopefully I can go down to 7am until next week.
No. 9531
32 kB, 532 × 560
My suffering was from sleep deprivation but now I'm sleeping from 8pm till 11am and I wake up feeling calm. When I go to out nothing bothers me, no anxiety, no migraines, nobody can anger me, it's like I'm a different person I feel I'm in a dream. Even the one hour naps I've been taking during the day have made me look years younger
No. 9532
>26 mins
>30 mins
ebin graph
Especially since usually you can't know when you have fallen into dream after you closed eyes, it makes almost impossible to determine when you should set wake up call.
No. 9535
Multiple Short slleps instead of one big one is common meme, DaVinchi thought for example that this is good thing. Hovever all modern science researches said that better have normal 7-9 hours one sleep instead of this
No. 9537
Nostalgic for an age that never existed, based on perceived orientalist aesthetics.
Isn't it wonderful we live in this age where this is possible?
Been listening to the tracks by this guy https://soundcloud.com/kudasaibeats/tracks
Pretty rad stuff to listen to as the street lights turn on.
No. 9540
Ah so lofi hip hop. Vibe is similar tho.

>Isn't it wonderful we live in this age where this is possible?

I'm not so sure about it. I like nostalgia because I like melancholy and yet the is a new desire for futurity getting stronger and stronger in me.

Like Walter Benjamin moaning the past and engage in it but then suddenly advocate for the destruction of traditions because the Angel Of History is taken by a force away from us into the future, nothing can stop time from turning so don't get to obsessed with the past. Also history as in difference to heritage, the former is complex and nebulous no historian will say it's possible to reconstruct the past 'how it really was' citing Leopold Ranke here whereas heritage is clear and somehow plastic, it's an instrument one can operate and be operated with tbh.

t. writing paper about "aura of the past and the lost future"
No. 9542 Kontra
>Nostalgic for an age that never existed, based on perceived orientalist aesthetics.

The interesting thing is that the music has little to do with the images, I mean all the other videos from that channel are just amateur recordings with deeply melancholic house music that as this lofi edge to it in order to fit the nostalgia even more.

As you rightly noticed that age gets constructed in a certain way and with Fredric Jameson one could say that this nostaliga wave is based on surface and loose associations. We don't know anything about that time really, we only get the aesthetics of it which is more or less surface. It's based on imagery and nothing else.
No. 9543
Yes, this factious urban Japanese aesthetic is hardly developed upon in depth. Yet it evokes a feeling from most people.
Probably because of the perceived simplicity. Less gadgets, no pointless hours spent on the internet, just the summer sky, the city and some tunes with non intrusive vocals.
It never existed, probably never will, but it'll always evoke this "neo-romanticist" feeling of "Wishing to be away from it all", to "transcend it all".
No. 9545
The past offers something that the presence lacks, because the future is determined to be even worse than what we have today, at best it will be the endless continuation of the status quo obviously this is a question of perception and contingency which is why I'm opting for futurity these days so we turn to the past again.
The past is as foreign to us as the future, but the past has been there before, we think we know it better than the future. But both gets darker the more close you want to get.
Heritage seems to be a bridge into clarity, which with a little reflection is not so stable anymore but questionable.
No. 9548
I went to China.
No. 9549
Proxy technologies indded make miracles
No. 9550
But i’ve Rerry bean to China.
No. 9551
Show the photo
No. 9552
1,3 MB, 3264 × 2448
Idk what you want me to take a picture of a hotel room.
No. 9553
Been busy lately.

It looks like I'll be taking over the entire production chain of brother's business as a manager. Interesting.

It's a lot more work, but it's also easier because now I can manage my own time, instead of living on someone else's clock.

Interesting to see what will come out of this.
No. 9563
2,3 MB, 4032 × 3024
2,1 MB, 4032 × 3024
1,8 MB, 4032 × 3024
2,0 MB, 4032 × 3024
I'm almost done reading Soul Mountain.
My old headteacher who left the school invited our class to bid farewell. I went there today. There was wine on the table. I didn't drink.
Took a few "Feely" pictures at the Train/Bus station on the way home.
Already uploaded them to Magyarchan, hence the filenames.

I'll be working on my school assignments now. I'll have to learn a bunch of verses for literature class.
I might also make some tea. Probably oolong.
No. 9572
Wow holy shit that's impressive. Congrats man.
No. 9581
1,1 MB, 3264 × 2448
2,5 MB, 3264 × 2448
Found a patch of boletes with tacky caps, brown glandular dots on the upper stipe, and no partial veil, under an eastern white pine. Taking spore prints now. Pretty sure the genus is Suillus but I'm having trouble identifying it to the species level. Ideas?
No. 9582
71 kB, 800 × 800
Been digging a lot into galician history
I find it funny how i know its history way better than the actual portuguese history... but once again i feel more affinity for galicia than Portugal. I can't stand non-atlantic climates and flat barren landscapes. I need mountains, rain and lush forests filled with dolmens and ancient ruins.
My kc dream would be to unite north portugal with galicia and create a single unified nation (like in the old days)

Anyways, this weeks have been tough regarding wageslavery but fortunately it won't be so bad next week. I'm trully eager to save up enough money so i can leave work
No. 9583
115 kB, 780 × 591
So i've spent the last few days looking into how cultures died in the past and now I am certain that the Eastern Slavic culture is on its way out and that by 2050 Russia, Belarus and Ukraine will all become places with no self identities, the difference being that Ukraine and Bealrus are gonna be closer to Europeб which by that point is gonna be inhabited by a lot more africans and middle easterners, whereas Russia is bound to become a chinese vassal. Such is life onto the slavlands.
No. 9584
It's not a promotion.

It's more like "you know what lil' bro, I'm really busy with my side business here, and having to manage two things at once is putting a strain on both, so you just do all of this shit while I go do that shit".

So now I manage all the documentation for computer parts orders, manage the workers, distribute their pay, organize their work days, order missing parts, etc.

I think this will be a lot easier on my brother, since he won't have to be in two places at once any more.
No. 9585
44 kB, 1000 × 800
It also gives me much needed autonomy. So now I can plan ahead and manage my time.

As far as increasing my pay goes, I think once our investor moves us into her own office, I am going to get noticed, so to say. I can then leverage some bonuses from her, hopefully. Or maybe even convince her to fund some of my own business ideas.

le career climbing wager face.
No. 9586
He wouldn't be putting it on you if he didn't think you were up to it. He'd just promote someone from there to the job presumably. And still, you say it's better for you so it's a step up still.

I ain't much for this optimism stuff, I know but it's good to see some good news even from another front. My job search is still not bringing me any offers and I'm only being given a single shift this week at work. I'm basically fired but nobody has the sack to tell me. Whatever, I'll soak up some of my expenses with it until I get a new job and quit on my terms.
No. 9587
34 kB, 890 × 985
It's troubling news, but I guess there's nothing much I can say but good luck out there, man.
No. 9590
Thanks. I just wish people weren't such smiling bastards about it. If they want me gone, I wish that they'd just do it and give me a god-damned reason instead of all the smiles and friendlies that I get while they try to starve me out so I quit and they don't have to feel like the bad guy. It's so slimy.
No. 9593
Such is life in the anglo lands.
No. 9603
This pics somehow reminds me and about our cities, and western europe. It be interesting to visit Hungary once.
No. 9605
2,7 MB, 4032 × 3024
That place is pretty unique.
It's the "almost suburban" stop of the M4 metro that was finished recently, so the bus park and the metro stop is newly built. But the place itself is also a relatively old train station. The train station building is 3rd world tier, while the Metro station and the bus park is top notch western stuff.
Pic related is the train station's building.
No. 9606
159 kB, 1024 × 685
What? They build a használaton kívüli vágány for 2,6 billion? Nice.

Found like picrel last week. Fried is with onion and scrambled eggs.

No. 9608
I'd say it rather carries the feeling of "I'm going to catch aids if I stand in a 3 metre radius of it"
No. 9609
I liek how the Christmas light strings are still hanging over the windows.
No. 9612
1,6 MB, 3129 × 1352
2,9 MB, 3312 × 2534
Rate my job :-DDDDDD
Rather, the part of it that involves preparing for orders and stuff. The other part is managing workers and assembling the computers, then shipping them off.

I have to stay up late doing this because theres 8 deadlines on monday (that I couldn't prepare for because I had to take over the job of organizing the chaos of assembling and shipping 100 computers in 3 days), then go to the office at 6 AM to load up the boxes on a truck, then work starts at 9 AM, I'll have to give daily orders and a # of parts to the workers, then work on the sheet some more because on monday I'll have to prepare for the deadlines on tuesday, and hopefully finish everything two weeks in advance so that there are no deadline crunches any more.

There are no weekends or days off in this business :-DDDD. Or a schedule :-DDDD.

It's kinda fun, though. Like one of those autistic video games. Assembling a list of parts that meets the customer's specifications, while being as cheap as possible, with highest as possible profit margins, is a lot like min maxing character gear in one of those autistic RPGs :-DDDD.

And managing workers is like being a raid leader in WoW :-DDDDD
No. 9613
43 kB, 608 × 342
Wow, awesome pic. It really remind not big far cities in russia, with imperical and stalin times city centers that not proprly maintained and in not best condition. We have some buildings in mine city like this who look that terible because with local humidity you or fix it every year or it become like this lol
No. 9615
The main difference is that while you posted a rural town centre that's in an almost constantly freezing area I presume, this one is a busy train station in the capital, right next to a fully new metro and bus complex.
Asinine, I tell you that much.
No. 9620
Can you show up, make yourself a mean grab a bottle of vino and eat it everyday.
Because I would just do that everyday until they called the cops.
No. 9621
Make yourself a meal and grab
No. 9622
Why are you assembling over 20 computers a day, this included running it first time, so you know it works when it is shipped.
Don’t be a bitch and do slave work for 30 roubles.
Work smarter not harder.
No. 9642
351 kB, 213 × 222, 0:00
No. 9644
That feel when made myself chuck and bean but when I finished making it I had a craving for a bowl of vita brits instead. Felt amazing to hit that craving but feels bad that my food effort goes to waste.
No. 9651
471 kB, 758 × 693
So, like, I went out to buy a new keyboard and they sold me one that has barely working buttons on it. This rly made me angery. Do I go out and make a scene at their store today or tomorrow? I feel like I don't have the energy to make a scene today. Cunts will probably try to weasel their way out of refunding my money.
No. 9652
Oh yeah, I also went to the hospital. And the lines and bureaucracy is enough to make a man mad. You need to stand in lines to get into another line to get a ticket to stand in the next line. And then you need to visit another doctor and go through this again. And then some old CUNT ignores all this and just pushes through people saying fuck you to everyone else, or worse saying something along the lines of dudes I didn't know there were lines lol.
No. 9653
119 kB, 640 × 420
Some things never change.

Although I find lines far more easy to deal with since I got a nice smartphone that I can waste time with like some autistic ADHD kid that needs constant stimulus.
No. 9666
>Old cunt pushes through the lines
I wish for a pensioner holocaust every day. How can a class of people be so arrogant and needy, yet still in a position of relative power while producing nothing.

I'll not bow to these people. Never shall I accept their perceived superiorities based purely on age and simply managing to not die.
No. 9669
Dad's back from the detox facility.
They didn't take him to rehab.

He isn't being mean or anything, in fact quite friendly. But his mere presence and intent to talk to me about things I don't give a flying shit about is irritating. Everyone in our family except him are assburgers who are quite content sitting in a corner of a room and not talking all day. He's the only one who circles the house bothering interrupting people every 5 minutes.

Maybe that's why he went crazy :-DDDDDD
No. 9670
55 kB, 640 × 736
I couldn't even phone post because there were annoying little children screaming and crying all the time and it was distracting. Hospital visits always make me want to say fuck you to humanity and lock myself in my apartment for a month.

Most people agree that entitled boomers are trash. I'm trash in my own way too, as are all generations. But at least we're not them.
No. 9672
No this is theater in my disctrict that is actually former club building from military base that was here. And no, ther no constant freeze, curretly for example is autumn
No. 9673
526 kB, 500 × 487, 0:03
Got home to sitpost and keyboard barely fucking works. Letter H and backspace stopped responding.
No. 9674
65 kB, 488 × 488
I somehow managed to wing that test with the poems.
The teacher still looked a bit disappointed when she saw that I made a few errors. At least I left a good impression on her with the first test.
It's important to establish yourself as "that" student the teacher knows the name of after the first lecture they give.
Every error after that will be classified as "a happy little accident" or a "misstep of a bright mind"

Drinking white tea and listening to Tchaikovsky as I'm studying.
I can go to school later tomorrow, because a teacher called in sick. Which is good.

Finished reading Soul Mountain. It was a good book with a somewhat mediocre ending. The journey itself was more important than the destination. It felt that way, and was an important talking point throughout the book.
I'd say it's one of the more "digestible" work of somewhat contemporary Chinese fiction I came across.
Definitely more accessible than Mo Yan's works. Though those were nice too.
Now I'll be reading pic related. So far it feels like one really long run-on-sentence. The dialogue hits a bit close to home. This whole feeling of being alone even when you are with people.
Love it.
No. 9675
I don't see why they shouldn't give you a new keyboard if you just go back and tell them what's what. They'll probably check your claim and plug it in a machine and test it out but maybe they won't even do that if the keyboard had low price tag.
I had to do similar things before it's nothing (even with stuff I ordered online, even from China). Keep calm and don't be rude as that just make things difficult. You march in there with the receipt (you have preserved it, haven't you?) and the keyboard in the pack you bought it and tell them it's not working and they should give you another one. Then leave with that one under your arm.
That's it.
No. 9676
390 kB, 503 × 388
It's still a net loss of time and money for me since I need to spend both to get to te store. Gas and bus rides aren't free. And we are aving shit weather atm. I'd rather stay inside.
No. 9677
1,0 MB, 3264 × 2448
Very nice. I wish I lived somewhere with a culture of mushroom hunting and eating.

In other news, the water given off from respiration of the pileus moistened the ink on the sporeprint and ruined it. I will just use plain paper from now on. Fug
No. 9679
70 kB, 604 × 453
Shrooms absorb radioactive stuff and pollution real good. Chernobyl disaster appened in the heart of slavlands. Slavs ave a really big culture of shroom picking. Rly makes u think innit? I never ate a single shroom my family gathered by the undreds each year because I think too much and it all makes sense. When I tried to red pill everyone they called me paranoid, but you can probably get to Chernobyl by car from ere in a day or two and fallout clouds definitely passed by.
No. 9680
Now you're just making excuses for yourself to justify your anger. This thing happens they didn't give you a faulty item on purpose. You can also tell them this trip costs you (time, travel, productivity - you can tell them you needed the keyboard for some work and now you have a setback) and maybe they give you a bonus pendrive or a mouse or something.
No. 9681
I remember watching an NHK documentary about the effect of the Chernobyl disaster on people in Belarus. The public was not informed of the danger and so many continued consuming milk from livestock that grazed on contaminated grasses and fodder. Such cases
No. 9683
This is actually a government version. They instigated these rumors to keep their economy running. Everything that was not made by government was somehow radioactive.
It's 2018. The probability of catching some particle from cherbobyl is the same as catching it from space. I wouldn't recommend to eat shrooms from near a rivers and cities. They actually absorb water pollution better.
No. 9688
Headed for Hamburg in the morning and just came back.

I suspect the asian people in front of the Louis Vuitton store standing there several minutes like it is some kind of tourist attraction were Chinese. I wonder, are these the middle class tourist now traveling the world? They were quite poorly dressed tbh.
No. 9694
261 kB, 1279 × 1182
have some backlog reading to do.
was touring with bike through france -> belgium -> netherlands -> germany

you really noticed the difference in france. they've permanently introduced their "emergency state" into law; everywhere military. didn't feel much comfortable in france. do not recommend to visit. thou, the landscape and the more rural areas where quite nice.
belgium was awesome, but short. not much coastal area. we drove near the north sea.
and netherlands was like always. (i'm nearly daily in the netherlands; living very close to the boarder.)
No. 9700
107 kB, 848 × 480
Must be nice to have time to do bike trips.
No. 9704
Today I helped in the garden and I had an encounter with a golden orb-spinner. I turned my heda and there it was on my shoulder. In seconds, shirt was off and I was inside. I do not do spiders mang. Snakes? Fine, I like snakes even but fuck spiders though, exterminate them with fire. I feel reassured that staying inside when we don't have huntsmans is the best option now.
No. 9705 Kontra
Also let out a rather impressive string of colourful expletives which I'm sure the family with young children next door appreciated :-DDDDDDD
No. 9709
78 kB, 525 × 412
Today was a fine day.
I'm done with reading that Japanese novella, I'll be moving onto Ortega's Revolt of the Masses.
Only 8 pages are left to translate.

Yesterday I saw this tiny pocket edition of Mann's Der Erwählte being for a buck or so at the metro station by a used book stand. Almost bought it, but then I realized I was spending money unnecessarily which is not good. My mother already berated me once for using money for books instead of food.

It's also really cold. It feels like soon people will start wearing coats.

I spend at least an hour or so every day with studying. I don't know why are we writing so many tests constantly. Feels oppressive a bit.
No. 9710
422 kB, 1920 × 1281
There's a huge pile of dry leaves near the road at my workplace.
I just set fire to it so I could admire the flame, and it was beautiful indeed, the white smoke was so thick, you would think you could touch it.

But then two old russian bitches walking by saw me admiring my handiwork, and made much of it, threatening to call the police and stuff, interrupting my spiritual experience.

I suffer with old russian killjoy bitches. Now I'm locked up and hiding in the office, missing the show.

I also stink.
No. 9711
Ebin. But if you're talking about genus Nephila aka the golden silk orb-weaver I don't think their venom is toxic in humans. However it may be that you are referring to another spider whose common name I am not familiar with.
No. 9713
28 kB, 437 × 431
I will need to visit the hospital regularly for a wile. I am very salty about this.
No. 9716
Those things eat birds dude

It is clearly big enough that if you pissed it off enough to bite you it'd hurt like a motherfucker. Plus, this is Australia you're talking about. Would YOU want to deal with Austrlian spiders, even the "harmless" ones?
No. 9725
540 kB, 1024 × 1024
Brother scolded me for this.

The pragmatic crushes the ideological once again. Since our investor owns the office building, she could overhear the fact that I'm doing dumb shit over hear, and that could cause her to back off from us since we're already proving ourselves to be incompetent.

The philosophical is that a bunch of burning leaves is such a bullshit trifle issue that could safely be ignored without consequences, and the only reason that it is an Issue is because someone decided to make it an issue. The event gained significance only through the fact that it was acknowledged by a person, and thus, written into collective history. History is a funny thing. The whole world is, for example, dominated by western history, but that's only because it's the history that was acknowledged, and therefore preserved. The global zeitgeist is built on western history, but imagine how many other zeitgeists, histories from other cultures there were, that didn't survive to this day. So many branches of our social conscious cultural reality, that didn't come to be. You dig? Our whole reality is a construct.
No. 9728
24 kB, 600 × 451
You are also an insane alcoholic setting fires to dry brush near an office building

An alternative, is not to go around setting random fires or at absolute minimum refrain from doing so where people can see you, particularly professionals or others who can impact you and your family financially
No. 9730
I haven't drunk in a month, ok.

My new vice is energy drinks and coffee. Feel the buzz.

Why the FUCK is everyone acting as if some burning leaves is a big deal? You CAN NOT give me a rational breakdown of the negative consequences of this event. Therefore, it is insignificant. "Someone got their panties in a bunch over it" is not a rational reason.

Imagine walking down the street and you see a small campfire. It has NO chance of starting a bigger fire, and doesn't affect your life in ANY way. The most rational and energy preserving action in order to stop the fire is the following: do not do anything, the fire will go away on its own, solving itself. What kind of a FUCKING faggot do you have to be to worry about something that is literally disappearing in front of you, and will cease to exist in some 30 minutes?

What's the big fucking deal? This whole situation is so baffling to me, that I will have to analyze it further. I feel that this disconnect between the rational and the perceived says something deep about or society. Smh.
No. 9732
Suffered a second subluxation, which means I might have to consider surgery at some point, fug
No. 9733
Sometimes I forget just how disconnected from reality I am.

Good thing I like to remind myself from time to time, by doing things that seem perfectly ok to me, but are apparently a HUGE DEAL to the so called "normal people".

I just want to fucking Bee myself without feeling guilty. I'm gonna get this fucking job over with, then move out to a basement on a hill and live there alone, society is a bunch of shit.
No. 9734
i just don't get it
No. 9736
>Why the FUCK is everyone acting as if some burning leaves is a big deal?

It stinks and is one of those smells that sticks to everything plus smoke is annoying. Also there might be legal and insurance ramifications if they've invented those yet.

Stop being bydlo and embrace teachings of the sensible middle class.
No. 9737
>Imagine walking down the street and you see a small campfire.
"why is that man starting a fire near the side of the road?" of course, I am also in a country where literally you're going to be immediately arrested for it and possibly tazed/shot

>. It has NO chance of starting a bigger fire,
Not true
>and doesn't affect your life in ANY way.
It does if it starts a fire. You said "dry leaves" indicating there is probably also other dry brush around of course, I am also in one of the countries that has fire tornadoes as a natural disaster https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgsYCWhct5E https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q92H5PHsWQY which can start a huge brush fire. If there's wind, that can blow your burning debris into say, other leaf piles, dry bushes, trash, buildings etc.

>What's the big fucking deal?
Perhaps you could better set the scene for me, but frankly setting random fires can be dangerous. Because, you know, it's fire setting. It's also seen as abnormal behavior, which it kind of is. Unless you're talking about literally just a tiny well controlled flame or something, not an actual burning pile of leaves.
No. 9738
79 kB, 1100 × 619
Give me them
No. 9740
Same one, but it's a pretty simple concept 'I don't do spiders' as in at all. Even just the little brown garden spiders that are harmless get me moving elsewhere and this one wasn't massive but weren't a wee baby one either.
No. 9754
No. 9761
115 kB, 900 × 597
As september draws to a close I can look back on my decision to go to university and wonder whether it was worth it or not. I gotta say, so far I have mixed feelings. While the acommodation is top-notch, my roommate is bearable and all subjects have so far been very enjoyable, I can't help but want to go back to Siberia. The weather here in Vladivostok is too hot and thenature is not to my liking. Fields and lush forests > hills any day of the week.
No. 9762
>As september draws to a close I can look back on my decision to go to university
You can worry not till December.
No. 9764
2,8 MB, 4128 × 2320
177 kB, 1100 × 734
Please make ratings of this city and post interest things you see.
t. interested
No. 9765
443 kB, 1000 × 1333
Here's documental proofs that it is not a big deal. See?

You guys live in oppressive fascist totalitarian states tbh.
> of course, I am also in a country where literally you're going to be immediately arrested for it and possibly tazed/shot
Couple weeks ago I broke into my own office in the middle of the night because I had no keys, and the security alarm rang. When the guard guy rolled up in his kevlar suit, I explained the situation and gave him a ciggie and he fucked off.

Also, rate the shittiness of my new cheap phone's camera. It's surprisingly worse than even my 10 year old lumix digital camera. Why don't they make cameraphones any more? Perhaps IWO soon.

Also also, I woke up and my ear was full of dried up blood. I dug deeper into the canal with some cotton on a stick, and it's full of still liquid blood. What should I think of this?
No. 9767
485 kB, 900 × 765
Shid, that whole footpath area is noice. Good pavement with a retaining frame to keep the runoff from the dirt out, trees for shade and a decent gap between road and pedestrian. Brickistan first world as fug tbh.

>You guys live in oppressive fascist totalitarian states tbh.
Culture of ignoring government. Secessionist pseudo-libertarian commune origin story doesn't hurt either. Brickistan needs to blob and show the decadent west the power of Central Asian government corruption.
t. only half joking on all fronts
No. 9768
Could you post some photos from Siberia or Vladivostok at some point?

t. wanter of visiting such places
No. 9770
396 kB, 1600 × 1200
5,1 MB, 3000 × 4000
3,2 MB, 3000 × 4000
That gap is actually a canal to absorb water during rainfall.
It used to run through the whole city during soviet times, and they'd pump water into it from Big Almaty Canal (which itself gets water from mountain) to cool the city. The water would then run down to cotton fields.

The whole city is on a slope, and for directions people use "up" and "down". Up the slope to the mountains, down the slope to the steppes.

Also, down part is where all the working class and former industry is.

t. liver in downtown
No. 9771
We just have random bits of road and footpath that submerge when there's rain. Drainage foresight weren't.

And tbh, your district would look a lot better if comrade urban planner had thought two seconds ahead and put in evergreens instead of having the place full of dead or dying in appearance trees for half the year. The roof of that gommieblock with the nice clean tin is unironically better than a lot of tin rooves in Australia on similarly aged buildings too :-DDD
No. 9772
I will post some pictures of Vladivstok in a few weeks but photos of rural Siberia will not appear on this site until, at best, february of 2019.
No. 9773
I think dead, naked trees are soulful. especially in winter.

t. been infected with russian spirit
No. 9774
115 kB, 780 × 591
I see you are a man of culture
t. winter landscape enthusiast
No. 9775
36 kB, 619 × 349
Lemme guess? Harshness of winter, yadda yadda yadda?

Let me show you true harsh weather soul in trees. Where I used to live, you'd see a lot of trees like this on the coastal areas because the winds were always so high that they just grew into that shape and were never actually normal trees. Trees that are just deda have zero soul. Stronk tree that gives zero fugs have all the soul.
t. natural sage pro
No. 9777
107 kB, 1151 × 768
242 kB, 750 × 500
28 kB, 500 × 333
343 kB, 1024 × 768
Also, I should one day talk about mysterious Southland soul because its ebun and largely unknown outside of New Zealand and parts of Australia (among New Zealand expats).

In short, it's this weird place where lots of old stuff is still lying around but the environment is really hostile to man-made things, so everything old has this aura of depression around it with the old stuff that's still used wrapping that depression around into pockets of cosy. Also alleged sheepshagging but that's mostly northerners thinking they're better than the southmen (they aren't)
No. 9781
>seconds ahead and put in evergreens instead of having the place full of dead or dying in appearance trees for half the year.
Evergreen doesn't look as good during a summer. And deciduous trees create unforgettable soul at every season.
t. Appreciator of autumn
No. 9782
It's fucking cold.
Only 6 pages to go.

It's so cold, that I'm going to have a little siesta to bear with it.

My schooldays are so short, I don't find time to eat. Or drink tea for that matter. My thermos is still half full.

I also got on the wrong bus today on the way home.
No. 9783 Kontra
I don't understand, are you in your last year of secondary education or are you in university?

Polite sage for inane question
No. 9786
I watched a video from a self driving Tesla car going down a road last month in southern California I think.

There is no way I would trust auto pilot cars atm.
Going way too fast into curves, problems keeping track in curves then(!), not slowing down while heading towards a peak. I mean wtf? In driving school you learn to slow down because there could be an obstacle that is not visible. If a computer is not able to drive far-sighted like humans are able to I give a shit about the revolution in transport.

I'm not an enemy of it anymore tho I think legal question are still a trouble point. But seeing how far the technique actually is there would be lots of accidents if every car was self driving.
No. 9787
>It's fucking cold.
>Only 6 pages to go.
Burning books is a way to warm, but not the efficient one.
No. 9788
48 kB, 720 × 528
It's a sin to burn books, you will go to hell were it is warm all day long.
I was freezing while inside I try to wait until October before I turn on the heater but outside it was surprisingly mild still.
No. 9789
20 kB, 326 × 272
>It's a sin to burn books, you will go to hell were it is warm all day long.
I sinned, but I get what I want.
Is this how your gods punish people?
If so, where do I subscribe?
No. 9790
I think it is great we can have self driving cars.
However as a viable solution it is a non-starter.
Who gets the blame if someone dies.
Unless you see golf carts limited to 15mph or 25km/h I do not see it happening.
Would like to be proved wrong.
No. 9791
I still have two years to go in HS.

Burning books seems kinda pointless unless you have an ideology to follow.
If I had to get rid of one I'd just sell it, or give it to a library.
No. 9792
>Who gets the blame if someone dies.

Exactly one of my concerns.

I have nothing against self driving cars anymore, it could be better, cheaper and eco friendlier than individual car driving in the end.

But seeing that the technology is not ready for what is dreamed of, some people have to step back from the excitement a little bit and be more realistic on when it's going to happen.


the comments list the crucial moments where it really shows how bad it can be and that is it not really safe as people want it to be.
No. 9794
Almost every day I wake up with headaches and this weird hangover feel. I can't tell if I stop breathing in my sleep or something weird is going on. It usually goes away within the first thirty minutes of being awake.
No. 9795
Do you think EV, electrical vehicles are the new wind turbines.

I do not see how it is remotely efficient, the most efficient coal fired plants are 33% when burning coal, assume 10% loss transporting electrical power and 85-95% due to mechanical action gears.
Electrical cars which require coal to produce electric and need 12 hours to charge instead of 2 minutes.
No. 9800
I did not dig into that topic, but when I read a headline or how it is more environment friendly I often think about the electrical compounds that need rare earths elements.

When I said that self driving is more eco friendly I thought about how you just rent them out. you just order them and they come in different sizes depending what you need ofc. you could get discount if you use them shared, like public transport today. No need for everybody having private cars.
Would definitely make some criminal activities more difficult tho, including resisting oppressive forces.

So I think the biggest step towards less co2 and pollution would be different organization of transportation all in all and not just replacing billions of cars with electrical once and cars then don't waste gas but electricity while stuck in a traffic jam...

clean, cheap and renewable energy could solve a lot of problems but I don't see us getting there so soon.
No. 9803
>Would definitely make some criminal activities more difficult tho, including resisting oppressive forces.
This is by far my biggest issue with anything remotely attached to Google or Facebook. It's a tyrant's wet dream. I don't even think 1984 got quite that dystopian. The idea of robbing people of their last shred of autonomy is something I am violently opposed to and thus I want all self driving cars to crash and burn. Possibly literally.
>eco friendly
Personal cars are never going to really be eco friendly. You still have all the traffic jams, all the noise, all the congestion, all the waste of resources, but now on top of that you don't even have a single shred of freedom, which was the entire fucking point of car ownership to begin with. Believe me when I tell you as the country that invented this shit, that the whole reason cars got so popular was the idea of freedom and individual autonomy, and as the country that is pioneering "self driving cars" I am also telling you directly the whole reason behind this is to enslave you. That is not hyperbole.

If you want the "eco friendly" option use public transport. The metro is a far, far better option for numerous reasons than any car ever will be. Or just ride a bicycle.
No. 9804
We use cars for 2hrs out of 24hrs.
Even if shared cars were free, I do not see a mass adoption of shared cars in my life time 25-35 years.

No offence but an honest person would say electric cars are a meme, electricity is not free
No. 9808
I know the solution to that but I won't tell you because you're unironically a smug American asshole who hides his inferiority to other men with nauseating narcissism.
No. 9809
It's less about harshness, and more about, well, soulfulness.

Imagine a peaceful snow covered day with a clear blue sky and sunlight reflecting off every surface. Comfy 100%

When I think of harsh winter, I think of blizzards, heavy snowfall, etc. Not comfy at all.
Weirdly, heavy wind, rain, thunder and giant clouds is my personal absolute 9001% comfy weather. I just love walking under heavy rain and wind, it awakens something primal in me.

(also white australians aren't allowed to be proud of their nature, they stole it from abos :-DDDDDD)
No. 9810
467 kB, 1600 × 1065
That scenery is from New Zealand though so it's totally kosher, and is formed by that kind of weather because it all just rolls in off the antarctic. Wind, rain and occasionally the rain just freezes mid-flight and falls as tiny hail :-DD

And tbh, it's less the dead tree thing that is the problem at the end of the day, it's the fact that the trees are overpruned to the point where it seems to be done to deliberately make it look like shit. If it was meant to look like that, it wouldn't need to be trimmed that much. It's far more aesthetic and soulful when the trees are just dormant but still grand rather than when they're oversized twigs in the mud. Rate the park I used to live next to.
No. 9811
327 kB, 800 × 800
Oh yes, overzealous pruning is one of my rage buttons.

Crippling trees for fuck knows what reason, I don't get it. The person in charge of greenery in this city needs to be kicked in the balls.
No. 9813
lol what where did that even come from? What crawled up your pitiful butthut ass today?
No. 9825
Check blood pressure. Change pillows and try to sleep on a different bed. It might be grasped nerves.
No. 9826
15 kB, 532 × 320
What if you're abducted by ayys?
No. 9828
Go to dogtor and have a sleep study done
No. 9830
What if he had weird dreams about owls watching him?
No. 9836
157 kB, 2048 × 1024
Actually I think I figured it out. I had a dream that my back molars were getting chewed into pez and I was really upset about having no back teeth anymore. I think I grind the shit out of my teeth in my sleep. Apparently from what I read this is common and teeth grinding are a major cause of it. I also discovered that apparently Stannis Baratheon had this problem of grinding his teeth so hard you "could hear it from half a castle away" Apparently your endorphin levels also drop by late in the sleep cycle.

But my angus doesn't hurt :-DDD
No. 9842
I can’t seem to grasp the physics material they’ve taught us.
Three pages of rules and letters.
I’m going to fuck up the first test this year.
No. 9847
Just think, after it's all done you will never have to look at physics ever again. Or at least until you get into an argument on the internet.
No. 9852
190 kB, 512 × 512
I was reading the wiki entries about covariance matrices and principle component analysis and it made me sad that I'm so shit at maths

ah well, all our cerebrums will end up as worm food anyway
No. 9854
188 kB, 750 × 1000
Two days without meds and I am slipping into depression again.
What gets me is how predictable it is. How a pill can alter your being. Le brain chemicals.

At the same time, even though being on meds makes me more "functional" (whatever that is), it feels like losing a part of yourself. It's as if being a depressed sack of shit who thinks about existential pseudo-philosophy all day is part of my identity. It feels weird to lose that. Strange as it is, I enjoy feeling sadness and despair. Those are very powerful emotions with inspirational qualities. I write and think more in these states, but while on pills, I just work and don't think much.
No. 9855
What about your brain chemicals being altered into depression by your surrounding environment in the first place? But I know brain pills are cheaper, faster and more available than actual change of life situation
Nevertheless, yes. Depressive suffering becomes part of your identity at some point.

What he says.

>it made me sad that I'm so shit at maths

Ah. Reminds me of I wanted to understand machine learning but stopped.
No. 9856
The urban layout of Vladivostok really annoys me. It seems like the people who orchestrated the construction of new buidlings during the Soviet era simply said "fug this, place 'em wherever you want". This resulted in a city so messy it painful to look at and navigate. The only decent parts of it are the ones that were constructed before 1917.

Also, I am planning to go to the local military history museum next week so you can expect an IWO.

Actually, today I saw a very saddening thing in the city. Next to a school, covered in dirt and surrounded by trees and plants, stood a Soviet-era monument to Vasily Blyukher. It's clear that nowadays nobody cares much about the state of the statue and you can't help but think about the state of Russians as a people
No. 9857
Sure, my depression was caused by abusive childhood and poverty in the first place, but after a while I think it also caused me to dig deeper into the nature of suffering, and now I care less about the state of my life situation, and it is the fundamental nature of reality (as far as I understand it) that causes my despair. Buddha style. It's as if this reality was perfectly enginneered to generate suffering.
Or maybe my brain structure has undergone permanent changes, and I'll never be able to experience contentment and happiness. Which, now that I think about, doesn't bother me all that much. I have no idea what contentment would feel like, so I don't know what I'm missing in the first place.
No. 9858
it is painful to look at*
No. 9859
10 kB, 359 × 480
Take it on a positive side, my fren.
You should be smart, not clever.
Just imagine how many ICQ189s work under Elon "Ifukkenluvscience" Musk. These guys deserve top fame, they put fuel cans on orbit, but everyone praises and gives monies to Musk.
No. 9860
87 kB, 432 × 554
how fucking stupid and retarded is it that I spend a lot of time worrying about metaphysics, and feeling bad over not liking how reality works.
just imagine some retarded faggot sitting in his room crying because he thought about things (that aren't even real) too much

absolutely fucking stupid

the fucking absurdity of it, it's both funny and pathetic
No. 9863
64 kB, 359 × 438
>the fucking absurdity of it, it's both funny and pathetic

It's always the same when you think too much.
But I'd say it is not unimportant to think about it. I sometimes wonder if other lives are so much better when you think less.
All this authentic life bullshit, your real self should come out and live its life and all. People just want that because they crave stability, something to believe in. Maybe one can be stronger knowing that clinging to such thoughts is rubbish.

I doubt you can go to a core by demanding authenticity. We are non-identical with ourselves. You can just circle it.
No. 9864
EC was down for me. It was horrifying.
No. 9866
Brother is clearly incapable of handling his own business, but he won't give me the reigns either.

I'm becoming less optimistic of this venture. The investor is disappointed and the last two weeks were a complete mess due to lack of organization.
No. 9875
You visiting vladivostok? Where you live in if you made it to such far city?
No. 9876
17 kB, 335 × 378
After biting my fingers for a whole day, the test was pushed back to next Monday.
I'd say all the studying has been for naught, but then again, I still have to write that test.

Been listening to Wagner's Der Meistersinger von Nürnberg.

It's still really cold. In the house I mean. The heating isn't on for whatever reason.

I have a bunch of things to do on the weekend. I'll probably digitalize the ten or so A/4 pages I've managed to produce while translating.
No. 9877
7,4 MB, 4032 × 3024
9,9 MB, 4032 × 3024
8,5 MB, 4032 × 3024
Went for a motorcycle ride around Sintra.
Pic #1 is pointing and Pic #3 and vice versa.
No. 9878
26 kB, 500 × 500
I think I'm losing weight from overworking and not eating properly. For example today I only had a cup of coffee in the morning and instant ramen for dinner. Thank god the week's over.
No. 9884
The pessimist in me says it could be worse. You could be a retarded faggot crying in his room over females. It's not as though NT problems are any more authentic than those arising from thinking too much.
No. 9886
> It's as if this reality was perfectly enginneered to generate suffering.

It's funny, I developed a very similar pattern of thinking several years ago during a period of mood cycling (I'm not bipolar or schizo though--my shrink thinks it may have been caused by one of the drugs I was taking at the time for other stuff).

Anyway while hypomanic I came to conceive of all my experiences as finely tuned components of a cosmic engine of suffering which conspired against me. I would also write insane poetry about murdering God :-DDDD

In hindsight I'm extremely glad I didn't go full schizo and have never entered such a state ever again.
No. 9887
No, I'm studying at ДВФУ. Having spent my early years in Novosibirsk, I didn't want to exchange Siberia's plains and forests for the Far East's mountanous landscape but this university seems like a better place than НГУ. Not to mention, I've always wanted to write a book about the КВЖД and this seems like the best place in Russia to start my research.
No. 9888
Lel what the fuck.
During the height of my maniacal psychosis I was convinced that I'm in an absurd tragicomic play engineered by a sadistic god, and that reality around me is paper thin, if only I could walk over that wall that I never see the other side of, reality would end. But I never can, because I have no actual agency, just a puppet going on a deterministic rail, suffering as an observer inside a meat cage.

Also that my parents are secretly divine beings pretending to be human there to torture me :-DDDD>

But, to be honest, if you knew just what the fuck was going on in my life at that time, you would probably think it was unfunny badly written fiction, exactly what I thought about it at the time, except I was experiencing it first hand :-DDDD

Aussie can confirm :-DDDDD.
No. 9889
Yeah dude you should really write a book about your experiences. You've just perfectly articulated what it feels like to be psychotic
No. 9890
21 kB, 275 × 361
For some reason this reminds me of KULT

That could seriously be a session
No. 9891
I dunno, I chewed through those thoughts in the cours of 3 or more years, wrote them down, thought about them, and now they seem to be banal and boring, and I'm ready to move on from my schizo identity.

It's hard to explain, but at the time when I was forming these thoughts, they felt acutely REAL and resonant. Becaue I was writing them down as I was experiencing. Now, I'm just reciting from memory. It feels like my writing is now dead, there's no expression in it, just retelling.

I doubt it'd be book material anyway.

Also, I wonder if there's book writing help helper services. I don't mean ghost writers, but something like creative editors. I give a general outline of what I want to tell, and the book help helper guides me through the structure of writing a book, makes corrections, etc. That'd be interesting.
No. 9895
>just retelling

I feel you here, I wrote down a lot of immediate thoughts and feels while being paranoid and schized out. When I reread it months and years later it was rather banal too. I actually got sad that about my past ramblings.

Schizo experience as in wrote down like that is not book material. Few people will relate to common schizo ramblings if they did not experience it first hand.

You have to invent a schizo aesthetic that is readable, an aesthetic that conveys the feels without mad acceleration and circular motions in form. Yet one has to keep parts of that form to make a schizo aesthetic.

>Also, I wonder if there's book writing help helper services

Somehow it exist. When you have ideas, a plot and all that and skills to write, there are people who will look over it at the publishers who are interested. Not all books are finished when they stir a publishers interest
No. 9896
I want to add:

A movie would be a great way to express schizos, it offers many possibilities to work with a schizo aesthetic because it works with audio and pictures that just need to be intense enough. They work different then mere words.
No. 9899
I think even better would be a video game.
Not only has it same or even greater potential for emotional impact, it evokes the same feeling of concrete reality being a paper thin stand-in for underlying abstract concepts (which is what video games are).

I don't know about other schizos, but my preference for abstraction makes me obsessed with metaphysics. Maybe I should write a design document for a schizo game. I mean, meta-narratives are all the rage in games these days, innit.
No. 9900
Just lately really started diving into philosophy but I'm already fascinated and metaphysics seems to be the most interesting as it asks for the beyond and connects with the question of the status of reality in general which is important for somebody who experienced altered perception.
I can say I share the love for abstraction even tho I just grappled with it really only within the last 2-3 years. It's a different world or dimension but is just as important as what is commonly understood as real life if maybe even more important. People dismiss it as not being real life thus not authentic or whatever and for me the question of how to balance both, what is right to grapple with is like a shadow on my mind
No. 9904
No. 9905
Oh, I've come across it. It's such a vast field and still have an array of problems to meddle with philosophy. It always seem to me as a clichee often reading that "what is philosophy" is philosophy already. Yet I have a hard time defining it myself and understand what it really is about. Might sound stupid.

I want to read this in the near future if I have the time to do so

Also newer philosophy in continental tradition, new eadings of Plato is promised, N. was advising Puntel in an interview, so these guys want to supersede omnipresent postmodernism somehow by going other ways
No. 9908

tbh this is all you need to study philosophy. The guy invented philosophy after all, everything else is just a footnote.
Everything else is can be extrapolated from this. But doing that is really hard, so you should probably read other stuff too :-DDDDD.

Once you get past the aesthetic of mysticism, and really grasp his argument, you go "woah shit" and your perspective on reality will change forever.
No. 9909
Yeah I came across him already and got me his writings from the library as he seems to be the base of metaphysics. But when I opened it at home, I was fugg it's ancient poetics. I will tackle him anyway then.
No. 9911
Novosibirsk still very far place. So you lived in Novosibirks and now study in Vladivostok? Did you visited Khabarovsk ro Blagoveshensk?

I live in north-west and not visited even all main regional centers of north-east. I was not in pskov or Arkhangel'sk. Hope next year will visit St. Petersburg 2nd time and also pay pskov finally a visit. Also want to visit belozersk and Veliky Ustug hovever don't know about that.
No. 9919
Finally i feel happy this. I am drunk again and my penis isn't hurt today. Medical treatment helped me and i feel like i am young again after this. Despite i am not allowed to drink yet. Seems like i really had sand in my liver.
But the most important thing for me is that i finally met a person that is arguing with me on my job. its actually felt so good to be called a fagot again, because i didn't complete mine plan. And most importantly he was right, even for throwing things at me. I am so tired of constant baby talk and now it feels like a real thing. I definitely sick for taking a pleasure from it. But today i left my job with a big smile and i was satisfied.
No. 9923
Lovely pics fren

I was always too sissy to ride motorbikes :-DDDD
No. 9931
948 kB, 3264 × 2448
1,0 MB, 3264 × 2448
An Amanita variety I found next to my neighbor's house. I think it's Amanita gemmata.

Here's an ebin wiki snippet about Amanita muscaria. I haven't vetted the citation though so take it with a grain of salt:

In western Siberia, the use of A. muscaria was restricted to shamans, who used it as an alternative method of achieving a trance state. (Normally, Siberian shamans achieve trance by prolonged drumming and dancing.) In eastern Siberia, A. muscaria was used by both shamans and laypeople alike, and was used recreationally as well as religiously.[85] In eastern Siberia, the shaman would take the mushrooms, and others would drink his urine.[5]:161 This urine, still containing psychoactive elements, may be more potent than the A. muscaria mushrooms with fewer negative effects such as sweating and twitching, suggesting that the initial user may act as a screening filter for other components in the mushroom.[86]
No. 9933
I've heard something similar that they would have elk or reindeer eating it and drink their piss. This is because amanitas are actually quite toxic as well as psychoactive and purportedly less poisonous if something eats them first, which tends to filter out the worst effects while the psychoactives pass through the urine unchanged.
No. 9944
Hmm yeah between using an elk's liver and kidneys as lab equipment to extract desired compound versus using your own liver and kidneys, I think the former is a higher IQ move :-DDDD

So in conclusion the smart shaman knows to drink elk piss :-DDDD
No. 9967
232 kB, 357 × 600
That feel when yesterday I worked an 11 hour shift with no break.
No. 9970
9,9 MB, 480 × 360, 2:02
No. 9971
50 kB, 631 × 796
A week without SSRI.
Feel dead inside, but strangely comfortable.

Was walking to the store with mom when some dude was rude to me on the street, and I used it as an opportunity to start a fight. Got a good punch in before we got broken up. Fucker is lucky, I would have smashed his face in and broken his teeth against the curb.

Apparently, it freaks people out when I express violent intent while completely emotionless and straight faced. People have pointed that out to me before, mostly after encounters with my father.

Made me think, it must be really fun being a cop in a america, or a white man in the 60s. You can use the slightest excuse to violently assault someone, and then be completely in the right. Must be a real big dick feeling.
No. 9972
It's not that bad.

Geez, and physical labor too or more clerical stuff? Either, or, I don't think I could do it without eating something, or smoking something.
No. 9976
really incredible footage! thank you for sharing
No. 9977
48 kB, 697 × 478
In a kitchen. It was understaffed, understocked and the city was full because of fireworks and football finals so we were really busy and everything was falling apart. I'm not going to lie and say that I wasn't having anxiety attacks for the last few hours. I had nothing left by the end of service, my nerves were completely shot. Working that long with no break is technically illegal but everybody knows that hospitality doesn't follow the law but nobody acts on the open secret.
No. 9978
Hospitality? Do you work in a restaurant?

On the USA I think 'hospitality' typically refers to hotels but I could be wrong.
No. 9979
Not a proper restaurant. Above big brand fast food but not quite real food either. Around here hospitality is hotels and food, cleaning etc.
No. 9980
I'm done with most of my studies. Except for the physics stuff.

I played some Command & Conquer. I should try playing against a harder AI, since the medium didn't pose a challenge after beating back my infantry rush and launching a counter-attack on my undefended base.

There is not much to do. I'm going to make some tea to drink while studying.
No. 9985
781 kB, 2016 × 1512
Visited the historical downtown of Sintra.
No. 9986
>bad graffiti
Sad that you have problem with that as well. Some people say that this is art, but for me most of graffiti is just artistic public form of shitpost
No. 9987
>I played some Command & Conquer.
Which one? If TD/RA1 go and try OpenRA and try to beat it's bots, or try yourself in fight against real players
No. 9988
221 kB, 500 × 333
Yeah, entire areas of Lisbon are covered with this crap. It should be dealt in the same manner that shitposts should be dealt with. Immediate purging
No. 9989
No. 9991 Kontra
A Berlin graffiti crew made vacation in Lisbon, filmed all their street bombings. Lots of graffiti writers followed them. When I was in Rome I encountered also some of their graffitis. They just tour Europe and spread their names in every bigger town or capital

t. finds most illegal graffiti ok, be it street or train
No. 9995
>and spread their names in every bigger town or capital
This is not ok. I do have a problem with this. It's just a stylized version of a name and a shitpost. It should rightfully be banned for the same reason as camwhores are banned. There is a big difference between public murals and banksy and this garbage.

I mean just look at this shit. It looks even worse than the typical bydlo trash gangbanger covered in bad tattoos.

But again the problem is not the thing itself, but the people who are doing it. Bydlo simply cannot rise above shit in almost any area of life it seems. When they attach themselves to an ideology or organization, no matter how seemingly noble and uplifting that is, they inevitably ruin it and turn it into complete shit. When you give a bydlo a paintbrush, they use it to smear feces everywhere. Do not blame the canvass or the brush--blame the bydlo.
No. 9997 Kontra
Go tag your own fucking cities, f*cking G*rms.
No. 10000
453 kB, 1200 × 2007
10000 post!
No. 10002
9,5 MB, 640 × 360, 2:46
[Hun-ing intensifies]
No. 10008
601 kB, 680 × 676
847 kB, 900 × 600
Ah, well, I like Generals too, however, not as much as 1st adn 2nd generation of Westwood RTS games. Sad that this game was not finished and not made as planned - it lacks... more cutscenes and more detailed plot in cutscenes, even in zero hour balance is questionable but it was very fun game still. I have friend who still sometimes playing generals because it was his game of childhood but he not played main series and not very much into it anyway.
No. 10011
I'm suffering from a devastating migraine.
Couldn't sleep properly at night because my forehead, eyes and nose bridge felt like they're about to explode.

When I fell asleep briefly, I had a dream where I trepanned myself. ebin
No. 10012
Feel known. Mine have cooled off some since a couple of weeks ago, but they still flare up when I get stressed and it's a pain in the arse to deal with.
No. 10013
Maybe it is the after effect of having 8 cans of Monster™ a day.
Bloody boomers.
No. 10015
Oh yeah, I used to be a server for a long time so I know that feel for the most part although I was always able to deftly sneak in smoke breaks.
Do you mean Australian Rules football or soccer?

Hospitality can kind of mean anything guest related either hotel or food service.
No. 10017
It was the Aussie Rules final I believe. Luckily it's not as big as the Rugby League in my state so it could have been worse. That final was on the next night. Soccer is also just called soccer here.
No. 10020
I used to have migraines all the time as a kid, but they largely went away in adulthood.
Yesterday was probably one of the worst ones. Entire head, as well as eyes and nose bridge pumping with dull pain all night.

Possibly. After the last such stint I had a week long coffee hangover. It was pretty bad, I'd rate it almost flu-tier.
No. 10021
I never got mine in the nose. I do get the throbbing behind the eyes but the biggest aspect of my migraines has always been that it feels like a fistful of tenpenny nails being driven through it from the top of the frontal lobe diagonally towards the brain stem. Much more in the vein of extreme headache and less impact on the peripherals that migraines so often also hit.

Tbh, I feel kind of lucky. Yours sound truly awful.
No. 10023
I used to play a lot of RA2+Expansions. Never was any good at it though.
I'm pretty bad at most video games overall. Maybe I was somewhat good at TF2.
No. 10024
50 kB, 293 × 281
I did 12 last Friday. I feel like kys'ing myself sometimes.
No. 10027
I think I am having ans flus.

Not good.
No. 10029
61 kB, 1228 × 1502
79 kB, 655 × 441
The first of October marks the start of Mince Pie season in the UK and thus I shall be gorging myself until January. Halloween can get fucked, I'm celebrating the time Jesus came back and lived in Wigan.

It's the monkey pox! RIP

Or maybe just the annual pressure/humidity change causing sinus problems ya' big girls.
No. 10035
Damn, I'm jealous. My local stoe used to sell those but a couple years ago they went out of business and now there is a void in my soul stomach that no other pie can fill.
No. 10036
store, not "stoe"
No. 10039
You could always make them at home with copious obscene amounts of brandy to justify the extra work. Remember to a make a wish before you eat the first pie of the season.
No. 10041
It feels like slowly but steadily I am getting to the core of what is called life. Just tomorrow morning it may feel like I'm yet again just drifting around it in endless loops but then there are moments like this one, when I feel the close presence of the core. I see the paths leading to it and I feel the truth of my thoughts but I fail to express them. Maybe this is what getting close to the core means, because who ever went there won't be able to teach others about it or tell them about it in a useful way. It is all making sense.
No. 10043
266 kB, 1000 × 1020
>My local stoe used to sell those
No. 10044
54 kB, 563 × 427
573 kB, 774 × 383
Co-worker brings me in receipt because she bought autumnal decorations. Fill out the form for her so she just need to sign it, get the cash out of the safe. There were no quarters so I had to give her a bunch of dimes and nickels and pennies. I didn't want any of this getting lost and she decides she can't wait the minute or so for me to do this so she goes and fucks off for 5 minutes. So as not to lose any of the coins I make a small pouch out of scrap paper and mark it ¢. I put the pouch on top of the bills next to the receipt.
She comes back, signs the thing and a minute later I realize she didn't take the money. Christ, I say to myself, and yell out for her to come get her fucking money. She tells me she needs to get her change (coins) too. Fucking hell what is wrong with you woman.
Put the receipt and form back in the safe and lock it up.
>oh can I get a copy of the receipt they didn't give me all my stuff.
>they didn't?
>at dollar general?
>yea I'm pissed
This is not a store where you order things and pick them up, saying you didn't get all of your stuff is tantamount to saying you did not take all of your shit after you paid for it the absent minded bitch.

Later I got an e-mail from my boss thanking me for doing my now departed old boss's work for them. And that it was less of a headache than ever before. Because he didn't do anything right.
No. 10046
Different brand, but the ones that were sold here looked just like the ones in your picture.
No. 10048
214 kB, 1000 × 698
Bear with me for a moment, Ernst. This may sound like I have a tremendously high self esteem but I honestly think I was born to save Russia and other eastern Slavic countries. I often feel like famous figures from our past are watching over me and they expect me to do something great. So I will probably try to get the higehst grades for my upcoming exams so that I can transfer to a university somwhere in Moscow since that's where the future of Russia is decided. Also, I could stay here, graduate, while getting to know the right people, and then apply for a job at one of the ministries.

rate plan
No. 10049
>So I will probably try to get the higehst grades for my upcoming exams so that I can transfer to a university somwhere in Moscow since that's where the future of Russia is decided. Also, I could stay here, graduate, while getting to know the right people, and then apply for a job at one of the ministries.
I rate I don't think that's how Russia works at all. It barely even works that way here, unless you are at like Yale, Princeton, MIT, Harvard etc. and even then, it has more to do with connections (which probably got you in there to begin with). It is a nice personal dream though, but I was immediately interpreting that more as "having massive influence in Russia" which doesn't work in most places by just filling out paperwork. That is how you become middle management.
No. 10052
Just you wait
t. future dictator of Russia
No. 10053
Are you a comrade or a capitalist? Will rate depending on that.
Whats your detailed plan for the time when you reached power an the ashes of the revolution settle?
No. 10055
I, too, wish to hear of your glorious 5 year plan. Will you give me a dacha if I shitpost in your name?
No. 10056
>but I honestly think I was born to save Russia and other eastern Slavic countries.
The spirit of Rodina is strong with this one.
No. 10057
What a lame thing. Post-sovok universities don't mean anything, nobody in the world cares about them. And what you gonna do? Or you just "oh mom I will be greit!"
Do you at least was at one protest during last years?
No. 10058
>rate plan

No. 10059
>Post-sovok universities don't mean anything
I dare you, MGIMO graduates were and are affluent.
No. 10060
I will unify Belarus and Ukraine and conquer Russia under your rule. And then i will install religious technocratic regime over slavs.
Rate my plan
No. 10062
41 kB, 725 × 400
>religious technocratic regime over slavs
No. 10063
85 kB, 406 × 1024
I feel fed up with imageboards again. It's the same trite bullshit over and over again.
No. 10067
Are you the same Ernst who previously had to deal with an incompetent new manager? If so how did that work out?

Well, I mean, it's nice to know you're ambitious but it sounds like the moment you hit a setback you might kill yourself. Take it a day at a time and assume it's a generational climb for your own sake.

>Also, I could stay here, graduate, while getting to know the right people, and then apply for a job at one of the ministries.

Unsolicited advice: To succeed at civil service recruitment you need to actively take part in projects for the stories. I know what I'm talking about here and strongly recommend ‘representative’ areas like academic liaison with treasury responsibility if you can. It's not much work but makes a big difference if you can say you spearheaded some new initiative or organised a team with a Picard management style.

Remember: Peter the Great is watching you masturbate, do these chores or he'll give you ball-ache.

Such is life generally.